Category: Rev Wendy Wortham

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Attitude, Aptitude And Experience Are Keys To Success.

This morning while preparing to fly from LAX to DFW, a call from Waco, Texas came in. The caller was planning to marry at TDCJ Robertson Unit. I take calls 7 days a week from 6AM to 9PM. Robertson is slow to or process paperwork. A few of my TDCJ Units are. How do I know? I have 7 clients waiting on paperwork or dates at Robertson and others waiting months at a handful of Units. Lock Downs stop paperwork. Patience in the planning process is a must. 

The Certified Offender ID takes weeks and occasionally months to come in. Once it does, a copy takes an additional few weeks. It’s time consuming to wait on paperwork. Occasionally for my clients, it’s frustrating too. 

Planning your Prison Wedding requires paperwork and if you’ve never done this before, someone patient to lay out the process. I’m that person. 

While McClennan County will allow you to purchase a marriage license with a certified birth certificate and Absentee Affidavit, there are a number of counties who require the TDCJ Certified Inmate ID. Obtaining this ID can take weeks to months. Know this “going in.” 

For many clients, it’s by far easier to obtain a certified birth certificate but if you can’t, the long wait on an ID in Texas begins. Buckle up and be patient. 

You can go to ANY clerks office in Texas to buy a marriage license. Remember though that you cannot buy a marriage license in Texas without both parties being present UNLESS you have a notarized absentee affidavit explaining the absence of the other party. 

The absentee affidavit is critical to getting that license. While the option of an inmate ID or birth certificate exist there are no options regarding the absentee affidavit. 

A few clerks offices require the ID, Absentee Affidavit and Certified Birth Certificate. This is why having options to go to another clerks office are important. 

For a number of folks who think that ANYONE can officiate a Prison Wedding, it should be noted that only a handful of people actually can. That person must be authorized to walk into a Unit. That person should also know and follow all rules of procedure. That person should be reliable, honest and transparent. That person should also have a stellar track record. That person is me. 

Because the planning process can easily take 4-6 weeks in Texas, there are rolling clients on my books at any given time. Because of this, I limit new bookings and I don’t advertise. I am sought after for inmate Officiant services more than anyone else in this industry. Why? Because I care and because I know what I’m doing. I also know the ins and outs. 

A few people were surprised that LBGT prison weddings aren’t uncommon. Others offended about my diverse clients. Some of these people voice their opinions to me. Opinions are not my luggage and not my trip. 

If you are hiring a Prison Wedding Officiant, their role involves far more than just showing up. They should be holding your hand throughout a confusing planning process too. I do. My clients are important to me.What can you wear? From pantsuits to skirts and dresses to slacks, wear what’s within the guideline and what you feel comfortable in. You can wear ornamental headpieces but we must clear the Unit. You may be asked to remove hairpieces to enter the Unit. Don’t panic I will help you redress after clearing into the Unit. Who files the license? You can but I prefer to. Why? Because a license must be filed within 30 days of me signing it. I file licenses three days a week in person or by certified mail. I’m OCD. If you forget to file your license, we can request a duplicate or amend the license but it’s a lot of trouble. It’s easier for me to file it for you and I’m happy to do so.Why do you need a certified copy? The Unit and Inmate Records require a filed copy of your marriage license. While a copy is a few dollars cheaper it isn’t a legal copy. Please request a certified copy and mail it to the attention of inmate records at your Loved Ones Unit.

Why are some Unit photos better than others? Each Unit is different. One Unit has better equipment or a more skilled Correctional Officer taking photos. 

You offer free photos with your extensive inventory as a courtesy. Why? Because weddings are Life Events. I want my clients to have the flowers, the furs, the tiaras, the fascinators, the signs and fun they deserve on wedding day. I want them to have an opportunity to celebrate their marriage.My clients are warriors. They make their love story last. They endure. They persevere. They overcome all obstacles placed in their path. They are the strongest people I have ever met… 

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LOVE Is LIGHT To LIFT And HARD To HOLD. TDCJ Allred To TDCJ Cole To Winstar In A Blizzard…

Texas weather is highly unpredictable but for clients who have waited months to marry, getting to Allred Unit yesterday had my husband “volunteering” to spend the day with me to alleviate his fear of me freezing in a ditch. My husband has a wild imagination. Seriously. All of our suvs and trucks are AWD or 4WD. Matthew has never been to a Prison with me and didn’t know what to expect. I advised him to “get ready to meet the most amazing people in the world!” My clients are hilarious, passionate, independent and wonderful in every way. 

Leaving Fort Worth where there wasn’t any sleet or ice and headed towards the eye of the storm just outside Bridgeport, the roads were pretty sketchy and fairly deserted. Everyone was staying off the highways due to a travel alert except the Wortham’s and my clients as well as semi tractor drivers.

Matthew and I rolled into Iowa Park two hours prior to my four Unit Weddings starting at 12:30. Because we were so early I started texting my brides to see where they were. One of my clients was across the parking lot from us. Because we were both early and because the drive to Cole Unit from Allred was three hours, I suggested leaving the Unit to do bridal photos while waiting on my other clients. Rosalinda hopped out of her car and we had some fun pulling out a fur collar and her choice of bouquet while I found a coordinating tiara. Driving back into the Unit, Matthew returned his business calls and emails while I returned emails and answered phone calls. My other clients still weren’t on site at 12:24 so Rosalinda and I walked into the Unit together to check in. 

Walking into the Visitation Area, the Chaplain advised us her wedding would be no contact due to the G4 status of her fiancée. This was a crushing blow. But we cannot change an inmates status or the protocol of contact or no contact Weddings. 

After finishing her ceremony and signing the license, I asked the Chaplain if my other clients were on site. The Officer at entry said no. The Chaplain and I went over the paperwork for reschedules and one of the names I did not recognize as my client. This problem was discussed at length yesterday. If you HAVE NOT booked services and had your LO list my name on an I60, be aware that Allred will now require you to furnish the last 4 digits of my state issued DL. Why? Because you cannot find this information unless I provide it to you that’s why. The person’s who both had listed my name on an I60 and didn’t show up yesterday won’t be rescheduling with my other clients on February 19th either. You will both need to hire and retain my services as you should have done in the first place. The Unit goes through a lot of work to process these I60’s and I’m not going to officiate a ceremony for anyone who hasn’t hired me. 

Minutes prior to rescheduling Vallecia, the Duty Guard announces her arrival. The Chaplain escorted my client and I to the front as I waved goodbye to Rosalinda and said hello to Vallecia. We followed the Chaplain back into the Unit. Following her ceremony, the reschedules of my other clients have been moved to February 19th.

Matthew was enjoying 70’s rock and ready to roll to Bonham. We hit the Whataburger and drive through small towns named Jolly and Muenster before seeing Nocona known for western boots. We both notice nearly everything other than gas stations are closed driving through these quaint towns while the townpeople stay warm and dry at home in small town America. 

Arriving at Cole Unit I send a text to my 5:30 bride to let her know I’m on site. She’s excited and thrilled to get married. The groom is just as excited. Going over their vows and watching the love they feel for each other was heart warming. I borrow a pen from the officer to sign the license while visiting with the Chaplain about his newborn son. I meet such nice people at Units. The staff are always friendly. My clients are always fascinating too. The Harlequin costume raised a few eyebrows but my bride rocked it.Leaving the Unit, sleet is falling and I find the fascinator my twin sister made for our bride and a coordinating bouquet for her bridal photo shoot. She’s fun, happy and finally married. 

I met three amazing people at Allred and Cole yesterday. The clients who didn’t make it to their wedding get rolled back into my roster. 

Headed to Winstar, my husband tells me “you are right about having the best job in the world. Your clients are thankful for your help. You get to listen to music and take calls while going from one adventure to the next. I’ve had an amazing day with you and it isn’t over yet.”

Rolling into Winstar to check in and meet my client for a late night wedding, Matthew and I have two hours for a wonderful candlelit dinner and time to hit the slots for me and tables for him before I’m back officiating another wedding at Winstar…

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“JUST because you READ the BOOK, doesn’t MEAN, you UNDERSTOOD the INSTRUCTIONS, experience MATTERS”

In a world full of fluff, there are several “fake it hoping to make it” folks who think padding their resume or “fluffing their experience” thinking this sham won’t be noticed or revealed. They lack not only experience but more importantly ethics. 

People who lie or fabricate to “fluff up” their background are not only insecure but also unethical. EXPERIENCE MATTERS. 

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I had hoped to find an experienced salesperson only to realize that I knew more about the product I was planning to buy than the salesperson did. Unlike the salesperson, I educated myself. 

I’m the type of person who thrives on transparency. I hate smoke and mirrors and phonies. I’ve met many non transparent people throughout my life and can assure you that transparency wasn’t their strong suit.

Like anyone else, I have noticed over the past year that there are a large number of people who have recently been “saying” or “advertising” that they perform prison weddings who either haven’t actually performed a ceremony or have only performed 1 or 2 if any prison weddings.

Last week while corresponding with someone from TIFA, I was told that so and so had performed weddings at Roach Unit. I knew this to be grossly false and advised her of how I knew. The person she was talking about I married myself. The person she was talking about had only performed four weddings in the past year at Allred. The person she was talking about was deliberately lying about marrying anyone at Roach. Don’t pretend to have done something you haven’t. This is a trust based industry. Don’t “fluff up” experience you don’t have! 

For years now, people have contacted me after learning the person they had hired lied to them and wasn’t certified or approved to walk into the Unit. Before you pay someone, verify their credentials. I can’t stress this enough. 

I’m frequently shocked by the number of people claiming to be experienced in this industry claiming to be experts. Lol you fell into performing one Prison wedding and and NOW you’re an EXPERT? Come on. 

Experts have a history. Experts have experience. Experts are seasoned. Experts are educated. Walking into one Unit doesn’t make you an expert. Snap out of it. I’ve walked into hundreds of Units. Hundreds of times. I’m the only Prison Officiant who has not only the clients but also the stamina to perform up to 8 weddings in one day in three cities at 3 Units.

An even larger number of people who don’t know or understand the prison planning process, the rules or how to assist you if there happens to be an unexpected problem during the planning process show their lack of knowledge when a problem pops up by calling me. Don’t bite off what you can’t chew. If you don’t know what you are doing, do everyone a favor and don’t fake the experience or knowledge you don’t have while dropping a dime on me. I’m busy.

“Your MORALS, are LIKE a GOOD set of TIRES, because EVERYTHING you HAVE, is RIDING on THEM.

If you are “trying to get in the Prison Wedding Business” solely for financial gain, here’s a heads up kids, the people you are attempting to market are single income households. Snap out of it. These families have limited income and resources. 

A few people “trying to break into this business” have even had the audacity to contact me (at THEIR convenience) to ask me to train them to do my job. 

A job that they have no idea how to perform AND think ANYONE can do. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist? Short answer? I don’t and I won’t. I care about my clients and their journey. They aren’t just clients they are my friends.

For all of the folks “saying” they perform Prison Weddings out there here’s a great question for you fakers “WHERE ARE YOUR CLIENTS?” How about “WHERE ARE PHOTOS OF YOU OR YOUR CLIENTS AT A PRISON?” Can you perform the task people are hiring you to perform? I can. 

If you haven’t educated yourself regarding marriage law and Unit Policy or Procedure, you are not prepared to be a Prison Officiant and much less a Prison Wedding Planner. Educate yourself. 

Saying you do Prison Weddings and actually DOING Prison Weddings are two very different things. “DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE?” If you don’t, you won’t get far in this industry. No experience, no clients and hoping business will fall into your lap? Good luck buddy. You are going to need it. 

This isn’t a role you figure out along the way. It’s a role you learn and prepare for. Clients have questions and you had better have the answers. State or Federal? The rules are different. I know the rules. 

Don’t know policy or procedure? You had better learn it because making a mistake in THIS INDUSTRY could put you on the other side of the bars. I’m being serious. Educate yourself. Not just anyone can walk into a prison. If you are walking into a prison, you had better know what’s allowed or authorized and what isn’t. 

I don’t make mistakes. I’m educated and well versed on every aspect of inmate marriage within every state I conduct ceremonies at. I also KEEP MY PROMISES. Honor, integrity, intelligence and passion are my calling cards. 

For years now, I’ve been the second and even third Officiant WHO GOT THE JOB DONE. Stop pretending you know how to do something you don’t. Weddings ARE LIFE EVENTS! 

The other people taking money for a service they either wouldn’t or couldn’t perform have earned their reputations. READ THAT AGAIN. I said EARNED their horrible reputations and I meant it. My stellar reputation is built on my honesty, transparency, dedication and diligence. I have never advertised or needed to. Why? Because my reputation is built on keeping my promises and holding my clients hands throughout a very lengthy and confusing process. This isn’t a job for the person who thinks their role is simply to show up. 

The role of a Prison Wedding Planner and Approved Officiant involves far more than bothering to show up. I’m a friend, a mother, an advisor, a counselor and friendly ear to my clients before, during and after their Prison Wedding. I’m different. I’m driven. I’m passionate and I’m an identical twin. Cindy (like me) is determined to make your Dream Event a Reality. Together we are a Twin Team that care about you and your journey.The number of people who suddenly say they specialize in prison weddings is hilarious. Why? Because even a blind squirrel can find an acorn and because I perform up to 30 prison and jail weddings a month in Texas alone. If these people are performing prison weddings (as they claim they are) where are their clients? 

I am the ONLY Prison Wedding Officiant who maps out up to 5 Units in 3-4 cities in ONE DAY. You won’t find anyone doing this because 1. They don’t have the clients and 2. They don’t have the experience, drive or stamina to handle a day in my life. 

Now, I’m going to move on to people who can’t seem to book any prison weddings finding other ways to get inside your pockets. First, anyone selling a parole packet isn’t a parole attorney. The Texas Criminal Justice Coalition offers a FREE that’s right FREE parole packet. Here’s the link… How To Write Parole Packets.

Secondly, anyone selling Letters Of Support are mass producing these letters. Do you REALLY think the parole board doesn’t recognize a mass produced letter? Here’s another FREE link regarding Letters Of Support… Parole Letter Support Suggestions.

Moving on to folks selling the Twogether In Texas at inflated prices. WITHOUT the CERTIFICATE I can assure you that you won’t receive the benefits. I don’t sell additional services and strongly suggest taking the course online from a vendor that 200 plus of my clients have used with NO ISSUES! The cost of the course is $29. You can stop and start as often as you like. Only one of you needs to complete the course. You receive $60 off the cost of the license and the 3 day waiting period is waived. Here’s the link… Twogether In Texas Online Course.

Be aware of the fact that you are a single income household. Protect yourself from con artists and con games. I was recently told “so and so sells parole packets.” I’m aware of “so and so” and her BBB complaints. You should be too. Do your research. Ask questions. There are also parole attorneys who have a zero success rate. RESEARCH I cannot stress this enough!

Remember that if someone is telling you something and can’t prove they have experience or worse any success, there is a reason for their failure. The reason is them. 

“YOU can’t LEAD the CHUCK WAGON, if you DONT know how to COOK, experience MATTERS.” 

I’m at several Units this week and available by phone, text or email. I will always answer phone calls and emails within 2 hours. If I miss you after 9PM, your calls and emails will be returned the following day. 

“Every job is a self portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.” – Vince Lombardi 

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Patience Is A Virtue When Planning Your Prison Wedding. Timelines, Deadlines, People & Places…

The past week has been one surprise after the other. February 5th I’m at Allred Unit at 12:30 with four brides before literally skidaddling on over to Buster Cole Unit in Bonham at 5:30. Due to this “time crunch” and the possibility of Chaplain Redwine adding on another client at Allred, bridal photos will be taken prior to Unit Weddings at Allred due to my schedule. 

“GOOD things take TIME, and GREAT things take PATIENCE.” 

“Perspiration is the perfume of persistence.” 

Planning a Prison Wedding IS A PROCESS. There is paperwork there can be delays. The timeline isn’t something you or I can control. Contact or No Contact Ceremonies are based on an inmates status. “Contact” refers to the glass separating the inmate from my client and I. 

While Arkansas will allow up to 6 guests and ring exchanges, Texas won’t. 

Arkansas like the majority of my other service states also has a 3 month waiting period and the additional burden of transportation costs to the clerks office. 

Texas clients don’t have this expense due to the use of an Absentee Affidavit removing the requirement for an inmate to be transported to the clerks office. 

Every state is different. Every protocol is different. Knowing the variations is key to getting the job done for me. I am the most in demand prison Officiant in this industry. Why? Because I care and it shows. I have never advertised any of my businesses and I will never need to. My reputation is my calling card. When someone contacts me to perform their ceremony they know that I will be determined to make it as worry free and special as humanly possibly under unique circumstances.

I’m frequently contacted by production companies and reporters. I’m leery of reporters seeking sensationalism and controversy or production companies expecting me to send them my clients. Why? I’m not in the referral business of doing a strangers job for them by “finding and or securing the talent.” If you are casting a prison or inmate based show, your job is to find the talent not mine. 

Last year in March, someone contacted me regarding gaining access to Units as well as finding the talent. This “someone” also sent me an unsigned contract and with my burdened schedule expected me to do his job for him. 

Heads up kids, this isn’t my first rodeo with media or production companies. My focus is on my business not yours. If you are sending me a contract for review, you might bother signing it and understand that I’m not interested in being tied down with rope I’m paying for. What? Don’t try to tie me down with what you want at my expense. I’m busy. I don’t have time for smoke and mirrors or bullshit. 

By the way, regarding access to Units since that “someone” was unaware how to obtain it on their own last March, media must go through TDCJ Communications AND requires consent from the inmate. A reporter traveled with me in August to numerous Units and yes I helped Ella gain access. I know policy AND procedure.

For a few years I have posted flyers for Love After Lock Up on my pages and if my clients are interested, I’ve shared the contact info to producers. 

The producers at Sharp Entertainment unlike that “someone casting  a prison show” last year and expecting me to work for him while assuming I was a hillbilly with nothing better to do than his bidding were by far more professional. The producers at Sharp are straight up about why they are contacting me. What they were asking me to do takes a few seconds to post on social media. Candor and transparency go a long way with me. I don’t have hours to educate someone on policy or procedure. If you are contacting me to do something you are too lazy to do on your own, do more research but don’t piggy back your workload this way Buddy. I operate 4 businesses. I’m on staff at 3 venues and I volunteer as a hospice clergy at Baylor and Harris. I.E. I’m busy. 

My clients are fragile and aware that not everyone can understand or accept their choice to marry an inmate. Unlike my “traditional clients,” these clients are unique, driven, passionate and unspoiled. There aren’t any divas marrying an inmate. 

A few months ago, I met my Goree Unit bride and her sister in Huntsville at the Unit. Surprisingly, the Chaplain met me in the parking area to advise me that the marriage would not be taking place due to the inmate being listed as common law married to someone other than my client. 

The CLM issue continues to pop up. In many cases, a Dissolution Agreement and Verification Letter from the state can and do dissolve this inmate status but Goree wouldn’t accept the Dissolution Letter or Verification Letter. Because of this, I will be marrying my couple outside of Walls Unit. 

The frequent occurrence of an on the fly wedding ceremony at Walls Unit after release might surprise a few people but patience is a virtue. 

My Goree Unit client did have time for bridal photos after leaving Goree devastated about her inability to marry. Cindy and I had a great time with these amazing ladies and can’t wait to see them again in May at Walls Unit.For the folks who assume “people only marry inmates to obtain conjugal visits,” ignorance speaks without forethought. Conjugal visits are only allowed in four states. Read that again. Only four states currently allow conjugal visits, otherwise known as extended family visits, and they don’t exist in the federal prison system. The states are California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington. 

Please stop assuming everyone is marrying an inmate solely to obtain a conjugal visit. Educate yourself and THEN CONTACT ME. 

I am consistently surprised by the number of people posting comments or emailing me with radically stupid or uneducated opinions. If you don’t know what you are talking about, please sit down and shut up. Stop emailing, calling and posting comments advertising your opinions. My clients don’t care what you think and I don’t either. 

Other readers and followers have legitimate questions or concerns such as “Wendy why are you occasionally wearing a visitor badge and other times you aren’t?”  Certain Units issue me as well as my client a visitors pass. In exchange for the passes, our state issued ID’s are on file in the shakedown entry area. 

Our ID’s are returned for the visitor passes when leaving. The level of security often dictates whether or not a visitor pass is warranted. “How did your business shift so fluidly To Inmate Ceremonies verses the traditional client?” Good question and observation. 

Four years ago, my bookings were 85-90% “traditional clients” and scheduled on weekends. Jail and Prison visitation is on the weekend and therefore weddings are scheduled during the week. 

Inmate Weddings PERFECTLY fit my existing schedule years ago. I’m happier at a prison than a venue! Why? Because my clients are amazing that’s why. “How did you get so successful in this niche industry? Can you teach me how to do what you do?” No. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist? Do YOU care about these people and their journey? Are you compassionate? 

If the ONLY reason you want to try breaking into the Prison wedding business is money, this isn’t the business for you. This is a people based industry. By the way, asking someone successful to teach you how to find the success they worked for and earned is the most entitled and narcissistic idea I’ve ever heard of.

“No one has more admiration for a narcissistic person than themselves. Anything not directly related to them isn’t important to them. The only thing good about a narcissistic person is their ability to keep a secret.” Say what? Narcisstic people don’t listen to any conversation unless it’s about them. Hence their ability to keep a secret. 

“Gratitude is the difference between appreciation and a sense of entitlement.”

“Pigs get fed and hogs get slaughtered.” Never heard this farmers term that lays out greed and throat cutting? It’s a true and accurate statement and term my husband’s father told him for years as a child. This quote dates as far back to the 1800’s. Author Unknown. 

“How many of your clients are still married?” From which business? The Pawning Planners, Texas Twins Events, TDCJ Officiant venues I’m on staff at? The total number of divorces from all of my clients in all of these years is 6. 

“I’ve read that you started Texas Twins Events to give others the wedding you didn’t have and to spend more time with your family. Is that true?” Yes it is. Cindy took on raising her twin granddaughters and gave up her day job. Finding a way to spend time together while helping others was the best decision I’ve ever made. 

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“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” Rikki Rogers

Last night a rather surprising text regarding wearing a costume to a TDCJ Wedding came through. While I would love for everyone to wear whatever they want, it’s something that neither you or I can “choose.” 

Let’s review attire on wedding day once more time ya all. Shoulders must be covered. Dress lengths must be within 3″ from the middle of your knee. While costumes are not directly addressed on TDCJ’s site, I have never encountered a situation where wearing a costume would be deemed “appropriate.” 

Why? Because we are at a prison and we don’t make the rules. Under TDCJ’s visitation dress code guidelines, there is a note that the Unit Captain has the final say. Why is this important? Because even if you are or feel you are within the dress code, the Captain can and will hand you a cafeteria smock if he feels you are dressed out of code. 

Each state has a visitation dress code. Certain states such as Texas allow sandals and flip flops while other states don’t. 

What to remember on wedding day at your Unit Wedding is that the majority of all of our service area states follow visitation guidelines pertaining to your attire on wedding day. what this means is that certain Units have “Allowed” wedding dresses as long as they are within the code. 

Certain Units will not allow wedding dresses. The Unit decides not us. 
On more than one occasion in Texas, my brides have been so closely scrutinized regarding dress lengths and cleavage that it’s best to bring an additional change of clothing “just in case.” Why? Because if someone at the Unit finds fault with what you are wearing, the Unit can insist on a cafeteria smock to enter the Unit. 

Clothing for my male clients has never been an issue. Perhaps because dress lengths vary and low cut shirts and blouses can be deemed “too revealing,” the reasons I address your clothing being an important aspect of our visit to the Unit is to protect you from being handed a cafeteria smock on wedding day. 

No one wants to walk into a Unit wearing a full length long sleeved button front cafeteria smock. 

If you have doubts or wish to have a second opinion about your wedding day wear, please feel free to text me photos.

TDCJ Visitation Dress Code Guidelines… 
Visitors are encouraged to dress conservatively.
Sandals, flip-flops, and open-toe shoes may be worn.
Clothing that is tight fitting, revealing, or made with see-through fabrics shall not be allowed.
Sleeveless shirts and dresses are allowed, but must cover the shoulders.
Shorts and skirts no shorter than three inches above the middle of the knee while standing, capri pants, or long pants are allowed.
Length is not restricted for pre-adolescent boys and girls, generally ages 10 and younger.

Clothing with pictures or language that may be considered profane or offensive by current public standards shall not be allowed.

Note: The duty warden shall make the final decision on whether clothing is appropriate. READ THIS LAST SENTENCE AGAIN. 

Even if you are within visitation dress code, IF A DUTY WARDEN deems your attire “inappropriate,” they can and will hand you a cafeteria smock. If you refuse to wear this item, your wedding will be canceled. 

My first encounter with the “dreaded cafeteria smock” being handed to a client was at TDCJ Torres Unit. My client initially refused to wear the smock. After a visit from the Warden in the shakedown area and a lengthy discussion from me after driving 5.5 hours to the Unit though, my client in fact did wear the garment. Otherwise, her wedding would have been canceled. Remember the Warden signs off on the I60 Request For Inmate Marriage. The Warden can and does CONTROL who CAN marry at their Unit. I strongly discourage arguing with staff at ANY Unit state or federal that I conduct ceremonies at. Your behavior is outlined in my contract. 

My second encounter was at TDCJ Allred Unit. My client had sent a text of the dress she planned to wear to me BUT it was of a model and not her. My client was taller than the model and due to this issue her dress length and the “cut” of the dress wasn’t within 3″ of the middle of her knee. There’s a reason I ask for photos of you in the dress rather than a photo you found online. Allred Unit IS THE REASON. The photo of the model had the dress length hitting BELOW the knee rather than above it. Although her shoulders were covered and no cleavage was visible, the cut on the front portion left a 4-6″ visibility of her knee. Because I had nothing for her to change into, being handed a cafeteria smock literally upset her to such an extent that I had to assist her walking to the visitation area. 

Clothing near misses? I’ve had a few. At TDCJ Holliday Unit, I pulled my brides tank under her tee shirt up in the front and down in the back to prevent her from needing a smock. 

At TDCJ Polunsky Unit, my brides dress was within code in the front and out of code on the back. Why? Hips shortened the length in the back. Even after pulling the slip in the back down for the Duty Guard, the dress was still not within the 3″ guideline. Luckily, my bride had a long sweater that she retrieved to wear into the Unit. Otherwise, she would have been wearing the cafeteria smock. 

While “pushing the limits” regarding the dress code has consistently backfired for a few people that were unaware of a Duty Captain having the final call on clothing, you should know that they have the power, custody and control to decide whether what you are wearing is “acceptable” or not. 

Let’s review how and why I encourage you to send me photos of you wearing the outfit and not a photo of the outfit you found online. A model could be shorter than you. A model could be less buxom than you. A model can have a lack of hips that make the dress appear longer in the back. I need to see a photo of you wearing the outfit to check the length, the cleavage and the back of the dress as well as the fit to ensure it isn’t too tight or revealing. 

At Buster Cole Unit, my bride was told her pants were too tight and revealing. Luckily, I had been to the cleaners and had clothes that would work in my suv. Otherwise my bride would have worn a cafeteria smock. 

If your pants are too tight or too revealing, even pants can be outside the code. 

I’m going to once again revisit that regarding your relationship with an inmate that YOU ARE IN CHARGE not the inmate. Continued correspondence from clients who feel the “inmate is controlling them from the inside” are alarming. Know your worth. Know your value. You are doing it all on the outside and you are doing it alone. 

Leaving Belltower Chapel yesterday, a text from an unfamiliar number regarding “needing a divorce ASAP” came through. Because of this and because my client and not the inmate are my priority, I sent a link for a Pro Se (self filed) Divorce in Texas. 

Based on your income, you may qualify for an “Indigent Filing.” What is this and how does it work? Certain instances and situations qualify for a waiver on filing fees. Remember that if you are self filing your own divorce that you are expected to follow the Texas Family Code. If you need the link from the Texas Bar Association, here it is Pro Se Divorce Handbook Texas Bar Association.

Choosing whether to represent yourself or hire an attorney is a personal decision. Understand though that you will need to follow the Texas Code by filing in the county you reside in. 

I’m at county jails and clerks offices today and available by phone, text, email and DM on FB and Instagram social sites. I do not respond to DM’s on Twitter due to spam and my burdened schedule. 

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“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” –Dolly Parton

A group wedding is a group of different couples marrying at the same time in the same place. 

For me, as an Officiant, traveling back and forth to various states would be unduly cumbersome to my schedule and also financially not feasible to my clients. Because of this and the fact that many states only allow inmate weddings 1 or 2 days a year, performing a large number of weddings on the same day dependent on the number of couples involved also doesn’t always work. 

When does a group wedding work and why am I familiar with group weddings? Years ago, I began performing group weddings due to the many people wanting to marry after the Supreme Court ruling. The start of group weddings for me began then. 

I was the first openly LBGT friendly events vendor in Texas. While other vendors were hiding in the closet fearing retaliation, I was one of the many front runners championing same sex marriage. Frankly, many of my friends had waited a lifetime to marry and died never having the chance. 

I have worked in the entertainment industry for a number of years and subsequently had many friends who were LBGT. 

A lifetime of discrimination was endured  by many LBGT couples. They had no rights to insurance or even burial decisions of their partners. They had no tax breaks. 

Many years before the Supreme Court ruling, my friends Charles and Dewitt who died of cancer without the benefit of insurance from his partner of forty years, Charles was working long after emphysema prevented Dewitt from working. 

The loss of Dewitt’s income combined with his medical expenses and the inability of Charles to add Dewitt to his insurance crushed Charles who would never see the day of LBGT weddings becoming legal during his lifetime. I’ve seen the tragedy of couples who were committed to each other but could never be legally committed for years before the ruling. In fact, I published numerous blogs warning LBGT couples to obtain legal documents for their own protection which included a Body Disposition Affidavit. Without it, loved ones and partners were effectively skipped over by the next of kin to make burial decisions. Probate Courts didn’t recognize non legal unions. Survivors were stripped of community property as well. 

Charles and Dewitt are only one example of a couple who never had a chance to benefit from the health insurance or tax breaks of other “traditional” couples. Their lifestyles were often frowned on. Charles and Dewitt were twenty years older than me and longtime friends. 

For my friend, Charles, I also was occasionally the “beard” at formal social events acting as his “date.” Why could Charles and Dewitt not be seen as a couple? Because back in those days, their partnership would have never been accepted. In fact, cat calling and other types of discrimination or whispers were “normal” to Charles and Dewitt. They felt forced into accepting being treated differently.

As a child, it wasn’t uncommon for someone to refuse to wait on my family. Why? My grandmother was light skinned while my grandfather was dark skinned. In the 60’s, such unions were publicly frowned upon. Many of my family members are “mixed.” 

Dewitt’s family never accepted Charles. Charles was never able to help Dewitt who had no health insurance. After Dewitt’s death, Charles faded away. His own health deteriorated. Rarely I was still able to get him out of the house to go dinner with me at my country club but, his heart was broken. Less than a month after Dewitt’s death, his family went to the home of Charles and Dewitt and ransacked their combined possessions. Charles did nothing because he was powerless to stop Dewitt’s family. 

Charles was unable to make burial decisions because Dewitt and Charles both were unaware of the necessity of a Body Disposition Affidavit and Power Of Attorney. Because they weren’t married, Charles had no legal rights to make burial decisions or keep community property belonging to Dewitt. 

If I sound biased, it’s because I’ve seen far too much in my lifetime. I’ve heard whispers about my friends. These whispers were almost always from self professed Christians frowning on purple unions or alternative lifestyles. A few of these naysayers were my own family members. They didn’t “approve of my friends or clients.” I didn’t approve of their opinions. This rift between certain family members didn’t affect my belief that everyone deserves to find love and have love. 

I’ve also had death threats sent to my office over the years from people who had read about me in the Dallas Morning News and had strong opinions about my rainbow clients. I had choices. I chose to be open to anyone when I began Texas Twins Events. 

These haters underestimated my passion and determination. I could have been bullied into changing my businesses if I was a weaker person but I’m not. I don’t see differences in my clients. I see people. People from every background. People from every lifestyle. I welcomed diversity. 

People who know me are well aware of the fact that my life has never been easy. I left home with my twin sister at 15. We’ve been homeless. We’ve been poor. We’ve struggled and we’ve learned compassion and empathy firsthand. How? Our childhood lacked both. 

My mother was a heroin addict and my father didn’t want to be burdened by four children. We didn’t ask to be born. We were somehow “always in the way.”

Bounced from relative to relative. Abused at a young age, my sister and I chose being homeless at 15. We have never regretted our decision. 

For the first few years of LBGT marriage being legal, I performed group weddings on the courthouse steps in numerous cities. Why? I couldn’t be everywhere at once. 

For the first few years officiating jail weddings, I would literally bounce from one cubicle to the next at county jails. 

For the first few years of prison weddings, the hate mail and death threats I had endured after the Supreme Court ruling returned. I wasn’t intimidated. Instead, was infuriated. 

Who the heck were these people who believed their opinions or beliefs affected my clients? Stay tuned and buckle up for one TDCJ client who was SO OFFENDED that I perform LBGT marriages that she effectively fired me last year and is the reason that EVERY WENDY WORTHAM website blatantly displays BOTH LBGT and Prison Wedding Services. 

If you are on any of my sites and don’t realize this you are either blind or illiterate. 

One TDCJ Prison client took up a lot of my valuable time. I had talked to, emailed and texted her for months before she “realized I was LBGT friendly.” I reworked all of my sites through my developer specifically to prevent anyone else wasting my time again.  You didn’t know I perform inmate weddings or LBGT inmate weddings or biracial weddings and you have a problem with my other clients? Get lost. 

My time is valuable and spent on people worthy of it. I operate four businesses and I’m on staff at several venues. I’m also a consultant for GLG and a volunteer hospice clergy. I work seven days a week and have a very tight schedule. 

I regularly turn down large events due to drama and chaos. I don’t work because I have to. I work because I want to. I service several states including Texas as my home base. 

I don’t advertise and I’ve never needed to. If I’ve spent months walking you through the very complicated process of marrying an inmate, I’ve dropped whatever else I was doing at the time you called, emailed or texted me. Your questions or concerns were important enough to me to do so. 

If another client from a venue I’m on staff at or who is booking through Texas Twins Events or The Pawning Planners “has an issue” with my Prison or jail or LBGT client bases, I FIRE THEM and have for years now. 

Had I known that one TDCJ client “had an issue with my other clients,” I would have cut her loose early and spared myself her opinions and the justification of her opinions upon “realizing” that I married same sex couples. 

Experience is a great teacher. I’ve learned to direct my time and talent to only those who are worthy of my attention. I’m selective about who I work with. I prefer one on one weddings but I’ve performed many group weddings in numerous states when my schedule and the clients income prevented me from flying here or there for one wedding and one set of clients. 

I have flown to another state with my staff many times for one client but the client could and did pay for travel expenses. It’s rare I book large events out of state these days due to the time involved. When I do, the client was a referral. I always try to stack other clients in the same states to defer travel expenses. But, this requires other clients waiting or willing to change their date. 

Recently, a number of my prison clients were shocked to hear that I’ve had YEARS of experience with “jerky clerks.” I was on the news over an over again in Texas during a “wild window county clerks refusing to issue licenses to same sex couples.” I orchestrated picket lines and personally walked my intimidated clients into the clerks offices throughout Texas. I was angry that so many couples who had waited so long to marry couldn’t get a license to marry because clerks paid to issue licenses refused to do so “for religious reasons.” What the? I refused to accept this as a wall. If you are paid to perform a function and refuse to perform that function, quit or for goodness sakes do your job and leave your religious reasons BS at home. You work for consumers. Your job is to issue marriage licenses. It’s none of your business if the couple are LBGT or someone is planning to marry an inmate. Zip up your opinion. Review the documents and issue the license buddy.

For years prior to the ruling, my team and I traveled to states where same sex marriage was legal to accommodate our clients. I’m not shy. I don’t have a problem voicing my belief that love is love either. If people have a problem with my clients, their opinion is of no concern to my staff, myself or our clients. 

Charles and Dewitt were forced to hide their love story. My clients are my friends. Prison or Jail clients are thrilled to marry too. They don’t care about opinions. They have a love story. A journey. A story to tell. 

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Passion Is The Plow That Pushes Dreams Into Reality…Prisons, People & Places.

The holidays are “that time of the year” when holiday parties can bring out a few unexpected conversations after one too many. Loose lips sink ships. I never drink too much or have the desire to do so. There isn’t anything glamorous or funny about people who cannot handle their liquor. A glass of wine occasionally or one vodka martini on a bad day are my limit. I rarely drink even one drink on location but occasionally have based on the situation. Certain clients insist I share a celebratory cocktail or highball and I oblige. 

Corporate Christmas parties always bring the chaos. Why? Free flowing alcohol. Whether I’m working the event or a guest at my husbands Christmas gathering for work, there’s always that one employee who “wants to know more” about the person sitting next to them. Or, there’s at least one person who should have stopped at two drinks. A combination of both always proves for an enlightening conversation. 

I was recently at a corporate Christmas party where I was asked “what do I do?” The person seated next to me was talkative and entertaining but my answer sent her into a laughing fit.

This question about “what I do” comes up frequently. It’s changed from “where do you work?” 

Describing what I do to people who either have an opinion regarding inmate marriage or are unaware that inmate marriage exists can get a few less than tactful responses from the person asking me. 

My usual answer? “I own several businesses and work as a coordinator, Officiant and also barter event services as well as perform prison weddings in numerous states.” The last part is always surprising to the person asking if they don’t follow me on social media or read my blogs. My statement is either met with shocked silence or in this weeks scenario, a laugh from the person asking me an intrusive question such as “what do I do?” A better question would be “what don’t you do?” 

Not caring what others think about what I do or who I do it with is the most liberating gift that I have ever given myself. Let’s get started with “how I got here.” Years ago, I was successful in high end sales, print and commercial modeling and promotions. Years ago, my life was spent on the set, the sales floor or traveling. Years ago, I was always working and spending little time with my family. Years ago, I was working for the man to pay my bills. Years ago, someone laughing at my profession would bother me. It doesn’t anymore. 

I don’t care what others think about my job or my clients. I have the time to spend with my family that my jobs took from me for all of those years. I work for myself. I set my own schedule. I’m highly sought after in the events industry and I regularly turn down gigs with “traditional clients.” Why? Because I don’t HAVE to work. I haven’t HAD TO WORK in many years. 

I’m often “recognized” as is my twin sister. “I saw you on TV.” Or, “I saw you in an ad for Cadillac.” Or, “weren’t you in those commercials for Whataburger with Mel Tillis?” The answer is yes, I’ve been in the film industry since I was a teen. 

I’ve been a promotional model for thirty years and I’ve filmed five commercials with Mel Tillis. For the record, my favorite burger isn’t from Whataburger. It’s from Kincaids. I’m nothing if not blatantly honest. 

How did I get from Whataburger commercials to high end sales and promotional modeling? Good question. I began modeling in my 20’s to obtain an upscale wardrobe I couldn’t afford to buy. I then used my wardrobe to become a high end sales person. You’ve got to “look the part” and, I did. During the week back then, I worked a wide variety of weird jobs but on weekends I was a model for numerous brands. I preferred to get clothing rather than a paycheck. 

Modeling for clothes? It was a barter and a great deal for me. I have closets full of designer clothing and none of it was bought. In fact, my son modeled with me for Stripling & Cox a number of years and was the best dresssed kid in Fort Worth. Those mommy and me style shows kept my son in school clothes year after year. Those years on the catwalk at country clubs provided me an amazing wardrobe of clothing, furs and jewelry. The experience also taught me that I could sell anything. “How did Cadillac come into the picture?” Buckle up kids… during my second divorce my ex husband sold my car. I needed a vehicle, insurance and income. I became a Cadillac salesperson. 

To generate clients I hired a photographer and paid for print ads targeting consumers who could afford Cadillacs at the very same country clubs I had walked the catwalk at. True story. 

Experience is a great teacher. I knew where the money was and where to market. The county club had the clients who could afford Cadillac products.

Moving into an industry I had no experience at? Why not? Selling myself as a high end salesperson was easy. I knew that luxury car dealerships provided demos. I needed a car, health insurance and income. I decided to pitch myself at a local dealership. 

After all, I had sold furs, jewelry, designer clothing and even solar panels. How hard could it be to flip luxury cars? I’ve never sold anything I wouldn’t buy and I would have bought a Cadillac if I could have afforded one so I was all set to start selling. 

I decorated my office off the showroom floor and studied my manuals. I passed my GM certification courses. I also spent time wondering how to generate new clients.

Finding a client base took creativity but I did. Cadillac gave me everything I needed. I had a free demo, gas, health insurance and an income. I decided to run ads featuring myself with a different car every month at country clubs. I was investing in myself. It takes money to make money. I needed the “right clients” and found them. What I did had never been done before by a salesperson in the car industry. I was a pioneer. 

My ex was shocked at how I went from nothing to something. My ex was also one of the many country club members viewing my ads month after month. Smiling back at him from those glossy brochures making more money than I ever imagined? Absolutely. 

That smile was real folks. I wasn’t a hangar anymore hawking or flipping for clothes. My game literally stepped up for those Cadillac ads. Coordinating evening gowns? You bet from my years as a model. I have closets of options. 

In the ad below I decided to wear a chocolate gown rather than match the car. Who didn’t want an XLR? What a great car the XLR was! I loved them. I could sell anything I believed in and did.Poverty is a great teacher. If you don’t learn you will never earn. Successful people don’t start out successful unless they are lucky. I have never been lucky but I have always been resilient. Trial and error are essential to success.

I’m a survivor. I also think outside the box. Other salesmen laughed at my ads. I laughed all the way to the bank. 

I left Cadillac on top. I retired from car sales. I left laughing and moved on to my next adventure. Years of car sales, classy demos and fantastic paychecks was a wild ride but I was ready to move on. Everyone knows I’m an identical twin. This isn’t a news flash. My twin sister has been raising her twin granddaughters since birth. We are two sets of twins. 

While working for Cadillac, I even put my twin and twin grandnieces in one of my Cadillac ads for Escalades. “Got a big family? Get an Escalade!” 

I sold the $hit out of Escalades with that two sets of twins ad posted in the Ridglea and Colonial Country Club monthly brochures. The twins are now fifteen years old. 

My twin is my partner at Texas Twins Events, Texas Twins Treasures, The Pawning Planners and TDCJ Officiant.When I decided to start Texas Twins Events, Cindy and the Twins joined me on location at events and clients hired the twin as flower girls, ring bearers and ushers. This was a surprise. Taking our kids to work became a family affair.

For tips or flips, the twins loved being in weddings. They now book as princess characters for birthday parties. Within a week of going LIVE with Texas Twins Events, production companies started contacting me. This was shocking because my goal wasn’t to get famous. We filmed a Pilot for The Pawning Planners in 2015. It went with the smallest minority of our actual bookings though and our focus was helping others not filming. We don’t have any interest of fabricating our embellishing our journey or our clients.

My goal was to find a way to spend time with my family while making Events affordable to our clients. Any client. Any event. Any location. 

We welcomed diversity. Narrow minded people had opinions. Those “opinions” were THEIR luggage and THEIR trip. “What percentage of your clients are LBGT?” This idiotic question along with others used to bother me. Why? Because the person asking wasn’t supportive of my client base. 

I was the first openly LBGT friendly vendor. While everyone else was hiding their affiliation with LBGT clients fearful of backlash, I was openly LBGT friendly. All of my businesses are LBGT friendly.My first prison client all of those years ago came to me because I welcomed diversity. She had seen me on a news interview regarding support of the LBGT community. She knew I was open minded and she was right. My first Prison wedding was to help a person no one else wanted to help. 

The CW33 interview was aired on numerous stations. Cindy and were in Dallas when I was hijacked by a reporter for that interview. Two sets of twins caught his attention. The fact that we weren’t LBGT was why he stuck a microphone in my face and said “roll it.” 

Even members of my family voiced their disdain for our client bases over the years and effectively cut themselves from my life. I didn’t care about opinions. 

Those family members didn’t lift a finger when Cindy and I were homeless at 15. We had no one but each other to lean on and did. Those “family members” never once helped my sister or I. We had each other and a new family. Our clients became that family.

Prison weddings evolved from a creative request for services. I perform up to 20 prison weddings per month. 

I prefer prison weddings. There aren’t any divas or drama. There is love. There is resilience. There are happy endings. There is life after lock up. My clients are amazing!

“Why did you and Cindy go to the expense to create your own inventory of photo props? Why do you do photo shoots with clients?” Prison photos aren’t always great and guests in Texas aren’t allowed. 

Photo shoots bring the fun, the flowers, the tiaras, the family and magical moments. I’ve spent thousands on my inventory but it’s worth every penny to clients because my SUVs are treasure troves of fun stuff. 

I became the person I wanted to meet. I became the mother I never had. My twin sister and I continue to change the wedding and events industry one family or barter at a time from Fort Worth, Texas. We love our clients and our role to make their Dream Event a reality. Many of you recently saw us on the Mel Robbins show regarding “over sharing.” We are driven and passionate. What was cut from that interview and effectively missed was my explanation of why I was excited a new baby was coming though Cindy already had a full house and was raising her twin granddaughters when a call from her oldest daughter planning to come home pregnant on a one way ticket came in.

Cindy was excited to have another baby coming and posted the update on FB. Cindy offering to take her daughter in with a baby on the way gives you far more insight on how we had decided that with “two of us we could handle anything.” We do everything together including raising our children and grandchildren.

Little Maddy rode with us to Units and jumped into client photos for three years and nearly four before her father returned to the states. Leigh Ann, Maddy and Alex are now reunited in California. We miss Maddy and FaceTime  daily. We are flying to see them in a few weeks while working destination weddings in California. 

Our little Maddy is a ray of sunshine. Leigh Ann is homesick and excited about our twin trip to visit. We are honest and open. We don’t care what others think. Their opinions or negativity don’t enrich our lives. They have “limits” to what they think is controversial or acceptable. 

I was told a few years ago by a production company “what you do is just too controversial.” Really? They contacted me. I’m not going to change who I am or what I do to fit it someone’s mold of what they think I should be or do. My clients are more important than the opinions of strangers.

What Cindy and I have is each other and a desire to change the way people perceive our clients and their relationships. What we have accomplished is giving our clients the event they wanted with the kindness, compassion and attention that they deserved… 

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Love Is An Action Not An Idea. TDCJ Goree Unit to Gib Lewis To Jordan Unit. Travels Of A Prison Wedding Officiant…

Monday was a mess due entirely to dealing with my niece, Stephaney. Worrying about my niece is a full time job and the primary cause of all the stress in my life. 

For my twin sister, the stress of her daughter and her consistent shenanigans has caused not only stress but also high blood pressure and hypertension. 

I wouldn’t realize until Friday that the stress my niece brings to our lives would affect my sister to such an extent that she is currently awaiting heart surgery at Harris Methodist Hospital. 

We had a very full week and Monday as well as Tuesday had Cindy and I slammed busy dealing with her daughter Stephaney AGAIN. Stephaney would ruin both days for our schedules (as usual) and by Wednesday I was driving to several cities with Cindy complaining of chest pain yet refusing to go to the ER. Watching my sister pop nitro pills like candy my fear mounted day after day this week. The nitro wasn’t helping. 

Friday morning at 10:30AM, we had a Skype conference with the BBC and ITV. I suggested a reschedule. Cindy wouldn’t even consider a reschedule. “We have never rescheduled in our lives and this won’t take 20-40 minutes.” The call took over 2 hours. With incredible chest pain, my twin sister laughed her way through those 2 hours with the determination of a skilled actor. No one knew she was in extreme pain. Cindy and I have work ethics that surprise everyone. 

In Los Angeles, I walked into a pitch meeting with my production company with a broken foot. I had tripped getting to my rental and knew it was broke when I heard the snap. Cindy looked and me and said “we have an hour to be on here and then we will run to the hospital. Suck it up and smile buddy.” I did. No one knew my swelling foot was bothering me. A pitch meeting lasting two hours as opposed to the twenty minutes our production company expected left me limping out of Lifetime. The ER cut my shoe off hours later. Cindy and I both have a high pain tolerance so when my sister complains about pain know she is in pain.

Friday after the Skype call, we went immediately to the hospital. An hour later, Cindy was admitted to the hospital. Cindy’s EKG was normal but her enzymes high. More tests were ordered. Her heart surgery is scheduled Monday morning. 

Life with an addict in it causes more stress than people realize. You never stop wondering if the next phone call is more bad news when you have a loved one with a drug problem. Late night phone calls scare Cindy and I both.

Tuesday, Stephaney had walked away from the very same bus that Cindy and I had put her on from Dallas to Muskogee at 6:30AM. A bus that should have gotten a break from Stephaney that didn’t. 

Within 2.5 hours though, Stephaney would yet again upset our schedules and our lives with her consistent ability to focus all of our attention on her needs. Her emergencies and how nothing is ever her fault. Sigh. 

By Tuesday afternoon, after yet another “Stephaney situation” phone call of her claiming the bus had left her at a McDonalds in Oklahoma, Cindy and I were forced to drive several hours to Oklahoma then go find Stephaney and drive her to the to Oklahoma treatment center ourselves. Naturally, the treatment facility for severL hours from where Stephaney has left the bus and decided to relax while we drive to find her before she wandered off yet again.

My life has never been easy. Cindy’s hasn’t either. The number of times I’ve prayed, screamed and begged my niece to straighten up would astound you. 

Consistently trying to force Stephaney to choose her family rather than drugs is a twisted merry go round of torture for the few people who still care about my niece. Who are those few people? My sister and I. Everyone else has given up. 

By midnight Tuesday after hours of driving through Oklahoma, Cindy and I finally rolled into my driveway thankful that we didn’t have to worry about yet another phone call from Stephaney for at least  a few hours and get some sleep.

Stephaney is going to find her usual complaints of course as she always does. If we can keep her in this program, it’s worth the money to get 6 months of peace in Texas with Stephaney in Oklahoma. 

I still kick myself everyday for keeping my niece out of prison five years ago in Oklahoma. Maybe if I had let do hard time I could have spared Cindy and I as well as her twin daughters the past three years? Maybe if I hadn’t believed her when she said she would never do drugs again in Oklahoma and convinced me into getting her a plea deal and paying court ordered rehab she might have a life and a future right now after doing a few years in prison?  I can assure you that I won’t try to save Stephaney from prison by throwing thousands of dollars to defend her again. 

Having Stephaney where we know she can’t find drugs is and has been the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to accomplish. I understand now why people give up on addicts. It’s taken me years but I understand why people just give up. They just can’t take it anymore. Who can blame them? Addicts pull you in every direction mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. How did our mothers mother manage our heroin addicted mother? I will never know. I do know that grandma Tinney survived our mothers addiction forty years. I do know that my grandmother died far too young. Stress kills you.

Wednesday morning after getting approximately 2 hours of sleep, Cindy and I headed to Huntsville. We were exhausted from dealing with Cindy’s daughter, Stephaney Monday and Tuesday. 

Stephaney and her antics consistently rob of us of any degree of joy. Work is our salvation. Our escape. Our reward. We shake off our stress of Stephaney and focus on our clients instead. 

The pain and loss of having an addict in your family will never be understood by others unless of course they’ve been pulled through the dust storm of their loved ones choices themselves. 

The worry, frustration and anger don’t go away. Years later, Stephaney and her choices have also affected her twin daughters, Maryssa and Makenna (like Cindy and I) will never understand why drugs were more important to their mom than they themselves were. 

Cindy and I will never understand or accept our mother’s choices either. We can’t. I hate addiction and what family members addiction issues has brought to our lives. I hate that my twin sisters health has been affected by trying over and over to rehabilitate Stephaney. I hate that my own efforts have failed too. Addicts shouldn’t be allowed to have children.

Getting Stephaney into treatment in Oklahoma after she walked out of treatment in Fort Worth was as stressful as you might imagine. In Dallas, a man was lying in the street near the bus station. I didn’t know if he was dead or alive. It was 3AM in the morning. I told Cindy “call 911.” Stephaney said “who cares about him? I only care about my family.” 

As usual, I lost my composure at this ridiculously stupid statement. “Your mom is having chest pains. Your children won’t talk to you. Your sister wants nothing to do with you. Our husbands are sick of watching us try to save you. A man is lying in the street and you don’t care? Jesus, Stephaney, I wish you could find compassion, understanding or comprehension regarding why we are in Dallas at 3AM in the morning hellbent on getting you to Oklahoma. I have at least 10-12 hours of driving twice this week. For God’s sakes get on this bus and get your shit together. We NEED a break from you. You are killing our family. Do not get off that bus until Muskogee. I do not want another phone call from you until you are back in treatment. The counselors will meet you at the station.” 

Stephaney (as usual) would find a way to screw up our Tuesday. Wednesday we were on a twofer unit day from Goree to Lewis and Thursday I had two brides at Jordan Unit in Pampas, Texas. It would be another week of driving 1500-2000 miles for me this week. 

Arriving at TDCJ Goree Unit, the chaplain met me in the parking lot. There was a CLM issue and my clients wedding would need to be rescheduled. Not surprisingly, she would be devastated. The chaplain and I walked to her car together leaving my sister in my suv. Genekia had her sister with her in her suv. I spoke with her and tried to assure her that we would work through this issue together with the inmate and the law library. 

The warden and chaplain returned to Genekia’s car and the warden granted her a contact visit. This is rare and remarkable. For Genekia it was also a gift of generosity. 

You will hear me say this often because it’s true “prison weddings are rainbows in the dark.” More importantly, without the assistance of TDCJ personnel there would be far more hurdles to overcome as Goree had moved Genekia to 10AM and Gib Lewis had moved my other client to 2PM in order to accommodate my drive time between Units.

After a 15 minute contact visit, the chaplain escorted Genekia and I back to the gate. Because she had her sister with her and was dressed for wedding day, I suggested leaving the Unit and taking a few photos nearby before heading on to Lewis Unit.While on the side of the road unloading my inventory, a car stopped with a couple who offered to allow us to use their home for photos. This WAS unusual. I followed them in my suv with Cindy while Genekia and her sister followed us. My timeline was tight but within range to get to Lewis Unit. 

The location was actually perfect. My bride and her sister loved the trees and pond and we captured a few fun pics before I thanked our new friend and drove on to Lewis Unit.Arriving at Gib Lewis Unit at 1:30PM, I sent a text to my 2PM client to let her know we were on site.

Gib Lewis Unit is located in a beautiful wooded area. My excited bride and I entered together.The couple had both written their own heartfelt and memorable vows. Leaving the Unit, I found an area for a few bridal photos.Headed back to Fort Worth, Cindy and I are equally tired now. Cindy’s in pain that she thinks is angina. I’m very concerned. My son is staying at Cindy’s house caring for Maryssa and Makenna. We are hours from home.

Thursday morning at 6AM, my son and I leave for a five hour and fifteen minute drive to Pampas to meet my 1 o’clock bride at her hotel and drive her to Jordan Unit.

It’s 39 degrees outside so we take photos in the hotel then check in with my 2PM bride as we head to the Unit.

All three of us walk in together. The Unit has stacked my clients closely together on the same day which is truly a gift due to my travel time to Jordan Unit. The warden was so nice and accommodating that he even moved my 2PM bride to 1:30 so we weren’t left waiting. 

I want to give a shout out to the wardens at Goree and Jordan as well as the Chaplain at Goree for their assistance this week. I cannot say enough good things about TDCJ staff and their amazing efforts to make prison weddings a reality for our clients. 

Leaving Jordan Unit, my son drove my bride and I while my other bride followed to a nearby restaurant where we celebrated over lunch with both of my clients before headed back to Fort Worth. 

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Wallace-Ware Unit To What’s Next With My Ellis Unit Client, The Inmate & The Pen Pal…

It’s been two weeks of running here, there and everywhere while fielding calls and being positive for one young lady in North Dakota who was swindled by a poison pen bearing inmate at TDCJ Ellis Unit playing her for his own gain. 

In all honesty, I was hoping the other woman STILL actually planning to marry him would have second thoughts. She doesn’t. Blindsided because North Dakota realized she was being played by the inmate, she’s taking it in stride. In fact, the woman the inmate planned to marry and used the pen pal to obtain the necessary paperwork planned to marry next Tuesday. Due to a Lock Down though, this wedding is now on hold and we can only hope that during this period, everyone involved has time to heal from a very unexpected ordeal.

Why the actual fiancée isn’t holding the inmate accountable for his con or doubting his trust after confronting him about North Dakota I have no idea. The pen pal was a pawn and cast aside after months of sending money. 

The inmate had been writing love letters and was also on numerous pen pal forums soliciting new victims who might fall for and believe his sappy scripts of loving them madly. Such scenarios leave victims. Brandi shared these love letters with me as well as the actual fiancé. 

Brandi has been sending four hundred dollars a month to this inmate and believed that he was planning to marry her.

The inmate was also using Brandi to obtain information from me as to how to go about planning and executing a Prison wedding. 

Brandi contacted me in August. I advised her to download an absentee affidavit for Walker county where the inmate is located. 

I didn’t hear back from Brandi until someone on a prison page recognized the inmates name and that he was marrying someone from San Antonio AND that I was the Officiant for not only Brandi but also Valerie. What the? Yep, Brandi hadn’t booked services though which was why I had no idea of the inmates name or that she was planning to marry the same inmate my other client was. 

Such shocking things as this are rare but for the inmate writing pen pals who only care about themselves, the possibility of these widespread script writing prison con artists may be far more common than anyone (especially me) had ever previously thought possible. Let’s face it folks, inmates have a lot of time on their hands. 

Several months ago, a Dutch filmmaker contacted me regarding pen pals from Europe to Texas Death Row Inmates. I didn’t have any pen pal clients from abroad but have kept in contact with her and posted several inquiries on my pages. It’s very rare for me to marry a pen pal. How do I know? My clients share far more information than anyone realizes with me. Brandi and the fiancé didn’t. Hence my surprise. I’m wary of pen pal love stories. 

Traditionally, pen pal marriages of my clients are between United States based males marrying female inmates located at Gatesville, Texas Units. 

For the weeks I’ve spent talking to Brandi while trying to give her insight and advice, it’s become a battle between two women over one man and if it were me, I would drop him like a hot potato but, one woman is hellbent on marrying this inmate. 

Valerie and Brandi have both been contacting me about each other daily for two weeks now. They have also both changed their last names to the inmates last name on social media. The shocking tit for tat went even further when family of the inmate began targeting Brandi who was already a victim of a con game that led her to believe the inmate loved her. I advised Valerie to stop this online bullying immediately after reviewing screenshots sent to me by Brandi. Bullying is never okay. Bullying someone who has already been victimized is despicable. I want this to stop and I’m intolerant of bullies. I’ve become a friend to Brandi. She needs a friend. 

Yesterday while coordinating with a journalist traveling to DFW to interview me and accompany myself and my twin sister to four Units on 10-22-2019, Brandi sent me a text regarding the inmate still being on several pen pal sites. This was alarming because like Brandi I was certain that Valerie should know this information in an effort to prevent yet another “incident” of two women and more drama. There could very well be more than two women involved in the Don Juan due to his numerous pen pal accounts. 

Due to two weeks of vicious online attacks and bullying by the inmates family against Brandi who was already victimized by the inmate, Brandi was once again suicidal. Her last text to me read “she can have him. The real Mrs Fuentes wins.” I was shocked and alarmed and with a client when the text came through. 

I immediately contacted suicide prevention to do a welfare check after being unable to reach Brandi following that very alarming text message. She is now doing okay and knows that she can contact me at any time. 

Bullying hurts everyone. Bullying someone who has been played and had their trust abused is something I cannot and will not tolerate. I advised Valerie to tell everyone concerned to cease messaging Brandi immediately and that if something happened to Brandi due to this bullying that criminal penalties would result. 

For people unaware of this, bullying anyone into suicide is usually documented and easily obtainable by authorities. Brandi had screenshot these messages to me. I in turn sent them to Valerie and told her flat out to stop anyone doing this to cease doing it immediately.

Brandi told me that “I was the mother she had never had.” Brandi deserves someone worthy of her. The inmate and his poison pen need to stop making broken promises. 

This morning after responding to an email from Elena regarding her documentary about pen pals and death row inmates, my Coffield Unit client, Cassandra called me about her fiancée catching a chain out of Coffield. We had been scheduled to have their wedding at Coffield 10-22-2019 @9:30AM. Cassandra and I will now be following the groom. Who knows where this wedding will wind up? 

My beautiful bride, Tiffany met me at Wallace Unit last week. For months trying to undo a CLM status was preventing the wedding from taking place. HOWEVER, the inmate was 17 when he went into the system and by law underage. Tiffany fought for this marriage and deserved to at least hold her Fiancee’s hand but lost the ability due to a charge involving a cell phone photo that he and numerous other inmates happened to be in moved the inmate to a G5 status which effectively put him behind glass. 

Tiffany was devastated about this as anyone planning to hold their loved ones hand would be. She also asked the warden to make an exception. The warden declined to make an exception. Further, I was told that the Unit camera wasn’t working which prevented Tiffany from having wedding photos. 

Weddings are Life Events and due to circumstances beyond Tiffany’s control, her wedding ceremony wasn’t what she had planned. Her bridal shoot was though! Her mother and the grooms family were waiting for her near Wallace Unit and our caravan headed to Colorado City Park together.

Unloading items I had packed in my suv for the photo shoot, it quickly became apparent  that Tiffany’s mom and the children were really going to enjoy playing dress up!Headed back to DFW, I stopped at Parker County Jail to meet a client and catch up my emails and text messages. My Ramsey Unit bride is finally going to marry in November. Cindy’s performing a ceremony in Jacksboro at Lindsey State Jail. 

This weekend I’m back on location with traditional clients and Vow Renewals and preparing for a memorial graveside ceremony in Dallas next weekend. 

Monday I’m in Dallas for a bridal photo shoot with my Holliday Unit Client, Leantrinette at Omni Hotel. 

Tuesday, Cindy and I hit the ground running for four Prisons in three cities in one day.

Can’t wait to see all of you very soon at your Prison Wedding, Vow Renewal, Babtism or other Dream Event. For our California clients, we will see ya all in December.. Leigh Ann has finally moved into her new townhome and is ready to get to work and meet ya all too… 

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Grooms, Good Times & Keeping The Faith. Prison Marriage Isn’t Limited To Women…

I’m always a little surprised by others assumptions. “What do you mean Wendy?” Well, a call this morning from a reporter interested in statistics and unconcerned about my schedule (as usual) wanted to disrupt my morning of calling to confirm dates at Units with what “he needed.” 

Let’s review how contacting me at your convenience affects me. First, unless you are a client, you aren’t my priority. Your luggage is your trip. Get in line. Email or tell me what you need and I will get back to you at MY CONVENIENCE. 

A few months ago something so preposterous occurred that for those of you who might have missed it, I will revisit this shocking and rampant escapade with a “producer” who contacted me via my Instagram page (@wendywortham) via messages. 

Stay tuned for one of the most fabricated and misleading wastes of my time and patience that I have ever encountered with anyone in the entertainment industry and WHY I’m so bitchy about people contacting me to do their job for them….

In March, 2019, Chris contacted me regarding seeking women for a prison based show. This isn’t unusual. In fact, people seeking prison love stories contact me with alarming regularity and always at “their convenience.” 

Since I’m well aware that a production companies job is “to find and secure the talent,” I am wary of anyone contacting me to do their job for them and advised Chris of this. In fact, I flat out told him to “send me a contract.” Chris probably assumed that I was unfamiliar with contracts but I’m not. 

Chris had emailed me an unsigned contract giving me whatever I asked for without terms pertaining to compensation OR HIS SIGNATURE. That’s right ya all. Chris was a player and thought he would play me. Sitting at his desk while having me perform the work of an unpaid talent scout or and this is ironic…a production company assistant in a volunteer capacity. Humph. 

I am a very busy person and intolerant of smoke and mirrors. I don’t like liars or con artists either. 

Over the course of about a week, Chris consistently “skirted” direct questions from me regarding signing that contract. I was juggling 9 clients during that week since it was March AND wedding season with more demanding phone calls, text and emails  from Chris who wanted and expected me to drop what I was doing and accommodate his needs for me to scour my clients and find “attractive women” then provide him with their information. By the way, all of my clients are attractive. 

NOW you are catching on to why I have such “an attitude” about people contacting me to do their job and especially people contacting me who think or believe that sending me a phony contract AKA carrot to chase their stick in order to bamboozle me to do their job for them will never result in what they expected to happen. Go find someone green enough to fall for your song and dance but don’t assume that someone is me. 

After a week of Chris and his crazy demands from Southern California as well as that phony contract, I blew him off and out of my life. What a colossal waste of time that was. 

I posted a blog warning my clients not to waste their time with Chris. Subsequently, Chris also threatened to sue me for defamation which I found hilarious BECAUSE Chris had failed to realize that I could easily document everything due to first the phony and unsigned contract. Second the emails. Third the text messages and fourth the direct messages on Instagram. 

Defamation and libel lawsuits have idiots unaware of what such suits involve running around screaming lawsuit. Here’s a heads up for ya all, truth is an absolute defense in a court of law. Phony contracts are also fraudulent too. If you are going to send me a phony contract, lie to me them scream lawsuit because I published the facts, you will also have me laughing my a$$ off at your ignorance. Chris did. Don’t threaten to sue someone when you have no idea of the legal process involved and especially when you are at fault. A guilty dog barks first. Barks lawsuit that is. I document everything. I’m also not stupid enough to fabricate anything unlike Chris. 

Sue me for stating the facts? Warning my Prison clients within the US that every person “telling them that they are casting a prison based show” might very well be fabricating the facts? 

Don’t be Chris. Truth is an absolute defense in law. Countersuits for malicious prosecution are real and expensive. It’s now been seven months and after a promise to hear from his attorneys, I have yet to receive anything regarding a threat of a lawsuit from either Chris or his attorney although I have carefully prepared and documented exhibits of the evidence in order to prepare for a countersuit in the event Chris follows through with his threat. I don’t bring a knife to a gunfight and my time is at a bill rate. The entire week I spent dealing with Chris COULD have been spent working and earning. My time isn’t free. Also, simply because I live in Texas, it’s best for anyone to realize that I’m not a hillbilly dazzled by promises of fame or fortune. 

Chris assumed that he could intimidate Chris also underestimated me. I’m not young or dumb. Go blow smoke up someone else’s skirt. If you want me to help you, don’t make up a phony contract to “coerce or entice me” either. Don’t call me and expect me too jump unless you are a client and under contract OR you’ve sent me a valid contract and I have agreed to the terms. 

This isn’t my first rodeo kids. Be honest. I’m busy juggling four businesses, a wide and varied client base, working with venues I’m on staff at, volunteering as a hospice clergy and a premarital counselor. I don’t have time for games. No one does. If you want something from me, get in line and when I have time I will answer you. My clients and my family come first. 

What most folks fail to realize about me is that I’m not stupid. In fact, I’m highly intelligent and spent years in courtrooms. I’ve also represented myself in federal court and won. “What? Why?” I was on an excused medical leave of absence due to thyroid cancer and fired while on leave. My  former employer had  also canceled my health insurance. While undergoing medical treatment? Yes. Stay tuned… 

Subsequently, I sued Chair King. Attorneys for Chair King moved the suit to Federal Court and filed a Motion To Dismiss due to the change of venue. I amended my petition to federal standards. I don’t run around screaming “lawsuit” like Chris. 

In fact, if I was forced to sue anyone, I can assure you that there were valid reasons. I also settled with Chair King for $40k a few weeks after successfully amending my petition to federal standards. Hopefully, they don’t fire anyone else on an excused medical leave AND cancel their health insurance. 

Fun (and shocking) fact from the Chair King lawsuit, one of their attorneys (the same attorney who tried to get a dismissal by moving the case) also turned me into the Supreme Court UPL Committee. I’ve encountered stupid people before. The attorney believed that by forcing me to defend myself against that frivolous UPL complaint that I would be far too busy, scared and intimidated regarding that erroneous UPL complaint to find the time or highly articulate skill set to successfully amend my pro se lawsuit against Chair King. 

Yes, dear readers, I’ve met sneaky attorneys too and I know my rights. If someone files a UPL complaint, you are entitled to a copy of said complaint. Demand it. Frankly, I was as shocked as you are BUT due to the requirement of notifying the respondent, I recognized the attorneys name immediately. I also demanded a copy of the UPL complaint from the Supreme Court and immediately recognized the attorneys name who had filed it. For anyone unaware of the gravity pertaining to a UPL complaint, it’s a felony. It is also a felony to accuse someone of a crime that they have not committed. It is also a breach of attorney conduct. I used that Supreme Court copy of the erroneous complaint “10 ways to Sunday.” Hog tying a rattlesnake ain’t easy but I did. 

After successfully defending myself against that unscrupulous UPL complaint filed by Chair Kings Attorney of record, I also filed a copy of the UPL Complaint and the Complaintant right into my Amended federal lawsuit against Chair King. 

Not surprisingly, the judge was just shocked regarding that an unfounded UPL complaint by opposing council as I was. 

Have you ever noticed that the same people who use sneaky and underhanded tactics to get their way are the very same people who think they are smart? There is a helluva difference between someone smart and someone being a smart ass! I recognize the variation quickly. My life is black or white. I have no grey areas.

People like Chris are the type of people I have no interest in wasting my time talking to. In 2012, I sold Defending Debt Lawsuits LLC. I then created Texas Twins Events. I’m neither gullible or ignorant. People might THINK or even ASSUME that I’m stupid and I let them because it always works to my advantage to do so. 

My twin will tell you flat out “Wendy is scary smart” and effectively warn you. Cindy warmed Chris too. Cindy knew that I was documenting everything pertaining to a contract sent to me that no network would agree to. I saw a wolf in the hen house early on. I document everything. People quickly forget their own lies. Chris did. 

By the end of the week last March, he had sent an email “promising $1k to me for each booked client that I referred to him.” At the same time, he was contacting my clients by clicking their Instagram name from my photos on my page while feeding me yet another line of BS. I called his hand and advised him “my clients are loyal. They told me you contacting them behind my back AFTER emailing me that BS $1k email and AFTER sending me your phony contract you probably laughed drawing up F off.” I meant it too.

At 16 years old, I signed my first contract to film 5 commercials with Mel Tillis for Whataburger. I’m well aware of the entertainment industry, familiar with production and know a BS story when I hear one. 

Cindy and I have filmed numerous televisions shows and our own television pilot. We have also been under contract with numerous production companies. I.E. we know the drill and our worth. Our clients don’t. We inform them. We also protect them from people like Chris willing to lie to get what they want from them. 

Don’t believe everything you hear from “someone in the film industry” get a contract. Make sure the person sending it signs it too. 

Now, back to that pesky reporter… the percentage of men marrying women among my clients is 6-10% the percentage of LBGT clients marrying in prisons is 11-18% the remaining percentage of my client base for inmate weddings is self explanatory. 

For reporters or production companies follow my pages, I do not post photos of ALL of my clients. Privately owned Units do not allow wedding photos. TDCJ photos are purchased for $3 each. Bridal or Groom photos are a courtesy for all of our booked clients. Inventory is provided by me at no cost to them. Prints are mailed to clients as a wedding gift. 

I do not ask anyone why their loved one is incarcerated. I do not share client information with anyone unless I’ve discussed a project with my client and they have shown interest. 

Neither I or Cindy are under contract. Finding the right project, production company and network aren’t a priority to myself or my sister. Our focus is and always will be on our clients…