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The Less You Respond To Negativity, The More Peaceful Your Life Becomes..

For eight months now the stress of not being able to visit a TDCJ inmate continues. As of yet and regardless of the “chatter” AKA gossip, TDCJ is not releasing thousands of inmates due to the number of inmates transferring from county jails into state prisons.

There are so many rumors out there giving false hope to people who need hope the most that I’m writing this blog while in a truck stop parking lot to stop the rumor mill.

Last weeks conference call didn’t even touch on in person visitation. Instead the focus was on Covid cases. As of yet, we still have no official word on in person visitation in TDCJ facilities.

Meanwhile and since my other clients follow this site, Fort Worth FMC as well as other Federal Facilities has reinstated visitation with preregistration requirements. Please be aware of these requirements.

Lompoc clients, there is a large number of inmates with projected release dates. I will not be returning to Lompoc until February or March of 2021. Normally, I’m in California several times a year but due to client rescheduled event dates of Texas Twins Event’s and The Pawning Planners as well as Federal Clients, traveling to California at this time is improbable if not impossible.

2 of the three clients I was scheduled to marry this week have tested positive for Covid. Please be aware that this virus is still out there. My daughter in law, Stephanie was at a hospital in Tyler last weekend and apparently exposed to Covid while visiting her uncle who was on life support due to a self inflicted gunshot. The issues of this tragic event have caused great anxiety to my daughter in law as well as the possibility of being Covid positive after spending two days at the hospital. In fact, an argument regarding a GoFundMe account to raise money for a funeral rather than a cremation started an argument between my daughter in law and I at a birthday lunch this week. My daughter in law was arguing about what her uncle wanted. I was arguing about him wanting a $10-12k funeral because “he didn’t want to be cremated.” I advised my daughter in law that we are in a pandemic with Christmas right around the corner and people aren’t in a position to fund a full fledged funeral for someone who chose to shoot himself. I then reiterated that my daughter in laws focus needs to be on her son and her husband as well as her job and not at the demands of someone expecting their surviving family to fund an expensive funeral. I’m a realist.

Today while on messenger, “aunt Margie” my daughter in laws aunt had sent me a message and FB hid it since we weren’t connected. The message was somewhat cryptic and led me to suspect it was from one of my clients planning to marry an inmate so I responded. Apparently, Margies son is at Cole Unit in Bonham, Texas. She wanted me to send her the forms to request a Reprieve For Family Emergency. Please be aware that due to Covid, the odds of TDCJ granting a reprieve are slim. Why? Because releasing an inmate to attend a funeral can expose the inmate to Covid. I then sent her a parole packet and letters of support template. She asked me about the forms for a Hardship Transfer which I also sent. Hardship Transfers are tricky. Margie lives 90 minutes from Cole Unit.

While Bridgeport is closer, there is no guarantee that TDCJ will choose a Unit closer simply because it is closer. Further, Bridgeport while operating under TDCJ is one of the very few privately owned Units in Texas. Because of this fact, Bridgeport has different guidelines and does not require offer Unit Photos which is why you never see Unit Photos from Bridgeport unless they are from the parking lot and non authorized.

I then suggested a paupers funeral or donating the body to science since I was asked and was told “I’m not cremating my brother. That’s not what he wanted.”

Folks, I’m going to be blatantly honest about the fact that no one expects death. No one expects suicide. Texas provides paupers funerals for indigent deaths that occur in this state. Another option is cremation. Even if the deceased owns property, the expense of preparing a body along with the casket and other factors can easily run $5-7k.

In the “suicide situation” that presented itself upon my daughter in law the day she and my son were returning from the Colorado Wedding, I found it more than a little selfish that Robert was adamant about not wanting to be cremated. For reasons I don’t understand, trying to explain to my daughter in law that this wasn’t her problem resulted in an argument. My son however saw my point. I spent the rest of my day making food deliveries for our pantry recipients and wondering why on earth my daughter in law thought or expected that strangers would miraculously donate enough money to cover a costly funeral?

Texas has what’s called a Body Disposition Affidavit. If you aren’t married or the next of kin, the decision of what to do with your body can be required with a Body Disposition Affidavit. My father didn’t have one for Gretta. Because he didn’t, Gretta’s sister, Kathy contacted Greenwood and stopped my father from planning and paying for the funeral. For thirty days, Greenwood waited on Kathy to take over funeral planning. For thirty days, the bill to store Gretta grew. After 30 days her body had deteriorated to such an extent that it took me three hours to prepare her for an open casket ceremony. Gretta owned a plot at Greenwood. The cost to prepare, store and bury her was $12k.

Whatever your feelings are regarding death and expenses, if your survivors cannot afford to carry out your wishes, the options left to them are somewhat limited. After all, your family members have bills to pay and families to support.

Today my son called me to tell me about Stephanie and Covid. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to deduce that she was exposed going to visit this uncle who had shot himself. I saw photos on the GoFundMe Campaign of several relatives not wearing masks. In fact, yesterday I asked my son “why wasn’t anyone wearing a mask?” Whatever your feelings on masks are, being with a group of people is and can be an event that exposes you to this virus.

This evening while traveling back from a wedding elopement ceremony in Dallas, Cindy called me about one of our former clients, Debbie’s daughter, Hannah calling her about moving in. Hannah is pregnant, 21 and living at home with her mother. Things aren’t going well but moving in with Cindy isn’t the solution to this problem. Cindy is raising her twin granddaughters. For years when her adult daughters, Leigh Ann and Stephaney were in school, their friends would move in with Cindy over and over again. In fact, my sons friend, Jeremy lived with us off and on for a few years. His mom was an alcoholic. But, Cindy and I are older and have commitments that prevent us from housing someone because they’ve been kicked out of the house. Our pantry provides food and clothing but not shelter. We can refer you to a shelter and assistance but we cannot move you into our homes. I’m sorry but we have husbands that don’t even have children of their own and want privacy. In fact they are entitled to some degree of privacy because being married to us is a literal circus of our adult children and grandchildren already. I’m being honest and transparent about this topic.

Hannah balked at my suggestion for family counseling with her mom but Hannah is expecting a child and needs to understand that living with her mother requires attempting to get along with her mother. I have no idea if there’s a relationship at all with Hannah’s mother but I know this, I’ve met Hannah’s mother and she opened her house to her. Hannah needs to follow her moms rules and attempt to get along.

Many of you are already aware that Tiger King is incarcerated at Fort Worth FMC. It’s a media circus there. If you are scheduled for a ceremony at FMC, PLEASE give yourself at least an hour to wade through the traffic. We must arrive on time.

Many of you are contacting me because your LO has made parole. Ceremonies outside of Walls Unit are a celebration of freedom and perfect opportunity to marry after release. I’m happy to meet you in Huntsville.

For everyone else as we continue to wait on visitation to be reinstated at your Unit, please do not send an absentee affidavit. This document is only valid 30 days once notarized. Law libraries get crispy about having to continuously notarize these Affidavits. Hold the affidavit until we are certain visitation has been reinstated and we can move forward.

Please be aware that although Missouri Affidavits have a longer shelf life that Texas will not accept a Missouri Absentee Affidavit.

Stay safe and try to stay positive. This cannot last forever. For client’s who were scheduled in March and April who were cancelled at TDCJ Units, when visitation is reinstated, contact me and I will split the cost of your replacement marriage licenses.

Please be aware that proxy marriage was banned within TDCJ in 2013. The new Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate marriages within TDCJ requires protocol and procedure to be followed. Meaning there have been no changes to the procedure. TDCJ must approve the marriage. You must be an approved visitor. Marriages must take place in person at the Unit the inmate is located at. There have been no changes to procedure that allow for phone or video call weddings. In fact, threw way calls are strictly prohibited. TDCJ will not change an inmates status to common law married unless this status was claimed going into the system. An inmate cannot be common law married if he isn’t living with you. CLM Affidavits are no longer an option after incarceration.

If your ceremony was not approved, it is not valid per TDCJ’s policies and procedures. TDCJ will not approve any wedding until visitation is reinstated as being on site is a requirement according to their guidelines. If someone is telling you otherwise, they are misleading you. Be aware of con artists. They are out there.

I follow all policy and procedure in every state and can assure you that trying to go around mandates isn’t a good idea or one that will work. We must follow all policies strictly and to the letter.

Regarding ICE ceremonies, there are still no visitation changes that have occurred. We must be on site and in person to get you married. If we cannot get access, we cannot get you married.

Posted on

The Less You Respond To Negativity, The More Peaceful Your Life Becomes..

For eight months now the stress of not being able to visit a TDCJ inmate continues. As of yet and regardless of the “chatter” AKA gossip, TDCJ is not releasing thousands of inmates due to the number of inmates transferring from county jails into state prisons.

There are so many rumors out there giving false hope to people who need hope the most that I’m writing this blog while in a truck stop parking lot to stop the rumor mill.

Last weeks conference call didn’t even touch on in person visitation. Instead the focus was on Covid cases. As of yet, we still have no official word on in person visitation in TDCJ facilities.

Meanwhile and since my other clients follow this site, Fort Worth FMC as well as other Federal Facilities has reinstated visitation with preregistration requirements. Please be aware of these requirements.

Lompoc clients, there is a large number of inmates with projected release dates. I will not be returning to Lompoc until February or March of 2021.

Normally, I’m in California several times a year but due to client rescheduled event dates of Texas Twins Event’s and The Pawning Planners as well as Federal Clients, traveling to California at this time is improbable if not impossible.

2 of the three clients I was scheduled to marry this week have tested positive for Covid. Please be aware that this virus is still out there.

My daughter in law, Stephanie was at a hospital in Tyler last weekend and apparently exposed to Covid while visiting her uncle who was on life support due to a self inflicted gunshot.

The issues of this tragic event have caused great anxiety to my daughter in law as well as the possibility of being Covid positive after spending two days at the hospital.

In fact, an argument regarding a GoFundMe account to raise money for a funeral rather than a cremation started an argument between my daughter in law and I at a birthday lunch this week.

My daughter in law was arguing about what her uncle wanted. I was arguing about him wanting a $10-12k funeral because “he didn’t want to be cremated.”

I advised my daughter in law that we are in a pandemic with Christmas right around the corner and people aren’t in a position to fund a full fledged funeral for someone who chose to shoot himself. I then reiterated that my daughter in laws focus needs to be on her son and her husband as well as her job and not at the demands of someone expecting their surviving family to fund an expensive funeral. I’m a realist.

Today while on messenger, “aunt Margie” my daughter in laws aunt and sister to Robert (who shot himself but wanted an elaborate funeral) sent me a message and FB hid it since we weren’t connected.

The message was somewhat cryptic and had a sense of urgency which led me to suspect it was from one of my clients planning to marry an inmate so I responded. “Aunt Margie” wanted me to share the GoFundMe for $10k in funeral expenses for her brother. I suggested donating the body to science. Then I suggested a paupers funeral. I then suggested the Mayo Clinic. Margie is determined to have a “real funeral as her brother wanted. He specifically didn’t want cremation.”

For the record, I’m sick and tired of hearing what this guy wanted. He had no life insurance and even if he had, most insurance companies have a clause regarding suicide. Everyone in his family wants to honor his wishes but none of them have the funding to do so. Quite frankly, this guy and what he wanted when compared to what his family can afford aren’t going to happen but I gave up trying to convince his sister, Aunt Margie.

Moving on with her though, she needed help with TDCJ forms as she wants her other son to attend the funeral that their family can’t afford. I know. It’s ridiculous. Seriously.

Apparently, Margies son is at Cole Unit in Bonham, Texas. She wanted me to send her the forms to request a Reprieve For Family Emergency.

Please be aware that due to Covid, the odds of TDCJ granting a reprieve are slim. Why? Because releasing an inmate to attend a funeral can expose the inmate to Covid. I then sent her a parole packet and letters of support template. She asked me about the forms for a Hardship Transfer which I also sent. Hardship Transfers are tricky. Margie lives 90 minutes from Cole Unit.

TDCJ doesn’t allow you to choose the transfer unit based on convenience to you. But convincing Margie of the improbable scenario of a hardship transfer to Bridgeport “because it’s closer to her than Cole Unit” had ME reaching for my Xanax while arriving on location at Belltower Chapel. This lady just doesn’t listen to reason. I’ve never talked to a brick wall before but now I at least have something to compare the experience with.

Have you ever tried to reason with someone unreasonable? While they were sitting around and you were on a timeline and on the clock with clients? If you want to REALLY try my patience, the best time to do so is when I’m busy. Margie was literally hitting all of my buttons, not listening and making demands most likely because I haven’t donated to this fund. Why? Because it’s ridiculous to expect everyone else to pay for an expensive funeral. My own husband doesn’t want me to pay for a funeral and waste money. I plan to be cremated myself. Why burden your surviving family with an expensive funeral? If cremation is good enough for my own family why isn’t is good enough for “Aunt Margies brother?!”

The argument over whether TDCJ will allow her other son to attend a funeral that the funding isn’t in place for raged on.

Bridgeport is closer to Margie, there is no guarantee that TDCJ will choose a Unit closer simply because it is closer. She argued about this. “Obviously they are going to realize that Bridgeport is closer.”

Folks, prisons aren’t in the business of making things more convenient for loved ones as we are all aware of except “Aunt Margie.”

Further, Bridgeport while operating under TDCJ is one of the very few privately owned Units in Texas. Because of this fact, Bridgeport has different guidelines and does not require offer Unit Photos which is why you never see Unit Photos from Bridgeport unless they are from the parking lot and non authorized.

I then suggested a paupers funeral to Aunt Margie AGAIN or donating the body to science and was told “I’m not cremating my brother. That’s not what he wanted.”

Folks, I’m going to be blatantly honest about the fact that no one expects death. No one expects suicide. Texas provides paupers funerals for indigent deaths that occur in this state.

Another option is cremation. Even if the deceased owns property, the expense of preparing a body along with the casket and other factors can easily run $5-7k.

In the “suicide situation” that presented itself upon my daughter in law the day she and my son were returning from the Colorado Wedding, I found it more than a little selfish that “uncle Robert was adamant about not wanting to be cremated.”

For reasons I don’t understand, trying to explain to my daughter in law that this wasn’t her problem resulted in an argument. My son however saw my point.

I spent the rest of my birthday making food deliveries for our pantry recipients and wondering why on earth my daughter in law thought or expected that strangers would miraculously donate enough money to cover a costly funeral?

Texas has what’s called a Body Disposition Affidavit. If you aren’t married or the next of kin, the decision of what to do with your body can be required with a Body Disposition Affidavit. My father didn’t have one for Gretta. Because he didn’t, Gretta’s sister, Kathy contacted Greenwood and stopped my father from planning and paying for the funeral. For thirty days, Greenwood waited on Kathy to take over funeral planning. For thirty days, the bill to store Gretta grew. After 30 days her body had deteriorated to such an extent that it took me three hours to prepare her for an open casket ceremony. Gretta owned a plot at Greenwood. The cost to prepare, store and bury her was $12k.

Whatever your feelings are regarding death and expenses, if your survivors cannot afford to carry out your wishes, the options left to them are somewhat limited. After all, your family members have bills to pay and families to support.

Today my son called me to tell me about Stephanie and Covid. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to deduce that she was exposed going to visit this uncle who had shot himself. I saw photos on the GoFundMe Campaign of several relatives not wearing masks. In fact, yesterday I asked my son “why wasn’t anyone wearing a mask?” Whatever your feelings on masks are, being with a group of people is and can be an event that exposes you to this virus.

This evening while traveling back from a wedding elopement ceremony in Dallas, Cindy called me about one of our former clients, Debbie’s daughter, Hannah calling her about moving in. Hannah is pregnant, 21 and living at home with her mother. Things aren’t going well but moving in with Cindy isn’t the solution to this problem. Cindy is raising her twin granddaughters. For years when her adult daughters, Leigh Ann and Stephaney were in school, their friends would move in with Cindy over and over again. In fact, my sons friend, Jeremy lived with us off and on for a few years. His mom was an alcoholic. But, Cindy and I are older and have commitments that prevent us from housing someone because they’ve been kicked out of the house. Our pantry provides food and clothing but not shelter. We can refer you to a shelter and assistance but we cannot move you into our homes. I’m sorry but we have husbands that don’t even have children of their own and want privacy. In fact they are entitled to some degree of privacy because being married to us is a literal circus of our adult children and grandchildren already. I’m being honest and transparent about this topic.

Hannah balked at my suggestion for family counseling with her mom but Hannah is expecting a child and needs to understand that living with her mother requires attempting to get along with her mother. I have no idea if there’s a relationship at all with Hannah’s mother but I know this, I’ve met Hannah’s mother and she opened her house to her. Hannah needs to follow her moms rules and attempt to get along.

Many of you are already aware that Tiger King is incarcerated at Fort Worth FMC. It’s a media circus there. If you are scheduled for a ceremony at FMC, PLEASE give yourself at least an hour to wade through the traffic. We must arrive on time.

Many of you are contacting me because your LO has made parole. Ceremonies outside of Walls Unit are a celebration of freedom and perfect opportunity to marry after release. I’m happy to meet you in Huntsville.

For everyone else as we continue to wait on visitation to be reinstated at your Unit, please do not send an absentee affidavit. This document is only valid 30 days once notarized. Law libraries get crispy about having to continuously notarize these Affidavits. Hold the affidavit until we are certain visitation has been reinstated and we can move forward.

Please be aware that although Missouri Affidavits have a longer shelf life that Texas will not accept a Missouri Absentee Affidavit.

Stay safe and try to stay positive. This cannot last forever. For client’s who were scheduled in March and April who were cancelled at TDCJ Units, when visitation is reinstated, contact me and I will split the cost of your replacement marriage licenses.

Please be aware that proxy marriage was banned within TDCJ in 2013. The new Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate marriages within TDCJ requires protocol and procedure to be followed. Meaning there have been no changes to the procedure. TDCJ must approve the marriage. You must be an approved visitor. Marriages must take place in person at the Unit the inmate is located at.

There have been no changes to procedure that allow for phone or video call weddings. In fact, THREE way calls are strictly prohibited.

TDCJ will not change an inmates status to common law married unless this status was claimed going into the system. Undoing a CLM is hit and miss within TDCJ.

An inmate cannot be common law married if he isn’t living with you. CLM Affidavits are no longer an option after incarceration.

If your ceremony was not approved, it is not valid per TDCJ’s policies and procedures.

TDCJ will not approve any wedding until visitation is reinstated as being on site is a requirement according to their guidelines.

If someone is telling you otherwise, they are misleading you. Be aware of con artists. They are out there.

I follow all policy and procedure in every state and can assure you that trying to go around mandates isn’t a good idea or one that will work. We must follow all policies strictly and to the letter.

Regarding ICE ceremonies, there are still no visitation changes that have occurred. We must be on site and in person to get you married. If we cannot get access, we cannot get you married.

Posted on

More Clerks And Chaos. Why Buying Your Marriage License Isn’t Easy…

This morning I began trying to contact clerks for clients who have their paperwork but can’t find a clerk to buy a license from.

Harris County is still closed to the public. Travis County is too. Bexar County is taking appointments. Tarrant County is booked through May 15th. Dallas County is closed.

Bexar County is booking appointments. For a month now finding a clerks office for my clients has required diligent research.

One of my clients told me that McClennan County is open to the public. Galveston is open to the public.

Your paperwork has a shelf life. We only have 30 days once the Absentee Affidavit is notarized at the law library. Often it takes up to ten days to get the paperwork from the Unit. The clock starts ticking the moment the Absentee Affidavit is signed.

May 1st could possibly be the date that clerks offices reopen but we can’t be sure. Harris, Travis, Dallas and Tarrant County continue to have rising numbers of Covid-19.

If your paperwork expires while trying to find a clerk, you will send another Absentee Affidavit to the clerks office. The Certified Offender Form doesn’t carry the same shelf life as the Absentee Affidavit. It’s valid for one year verses the 30 day timeline of the Affidavit.

I’ve had several clients send me photos of Affidavits sent from the Unit that were not notarized. In order to be legal, an Absentee Affidavit requires a notary stamp and signature. If you have received an Affidavit that hasn’t been notarized, we will need to send the Affidavit back to the Unit.

Stay calm. This Covid-19 situation is temporary. It will pass. Keep the inmates in your prayers as this virus spreads through Units. Sadly, this is by far worse than the Swine Flu which also spread through prisons a few years ago.

A journalist contacted me Saturday asking “how Covid-19 has affected my clients?” How hasn’t it affected us all? I have 51 clients in Texas alone waiting to marry an inmate. Fifty one people who are left holding the bag and waiting. Worrying about their loved ones.

I’m hoping that May reopens the visitation to most Units but we have a large portion of TDCJ Units that are currently on medical lockdown. These Units are on 14 day lockdowns from the date an inmate tests positive. As long as this virus is running through Units, we are unable to begin scheduling.

I’ve had a few former clients that have contacted me regarding parole packets and letters of support. I’m happy to send you the links.

A few clients have encountered visitation suspensions. Remember that’s it essential to prepare your appeal in a timely fashion. If you need assistance preparing your appeal, contact me.

Walker County is preparing Marriage Licenses by mail.

Sadly, I’ve had four clients contact me regarding a divorce. These are trying times for relationships. Before you make a permanent decision regarding a temporary situation, step back and understand that this too shall pass.

Emotions are running wild right now for everyone. As I write this blog, I’m answering texts from a former client who was rope a doped into a Catfish Adoption ring. Sending money to someone she hadn’t met? Yes. Deanna is desperate for a baby. Desperate enough to do anything.

I’m also on the phone with my sister in law, Michelle who had to call the police this weekend because they had both their adult kids and their spouses and all of their grandkids and our father living under one roof in Monroe, North Carolina. Michelle has been having problems with her daughters husband. A shiftless jerk who won’t work. My brother is supporting everyone under his roof. Michelle is doing all of the cooking and cleaning. Jerry and Michelle’s daughters husband is and has been disrespectful and combative to Michelle. Friday night, Hope’s husnand threatened to kill Michelle. This is shocking. Michelle has no choice. The ongoing arguments between her son in law and his stupidity have robbed Jerry and Michelle’s home of any peace. My brother works 6 days a week. Michelle is and has been caring for my dad, her grandkids, her adult children and why her daughter doesn’t see what a Deadbeat she’s married to. Michelle’s daughter manipulates her by using her three children. “If you make him leave, I’m leaving with him and I’m taking the kids with us.”

Michelle had to make a decision. You cannot live in your own home in fear. You cannot be afraid your son in law is going to kill you, your daughter or one of your grandchildren. Cindy and I have advised Michelle to hold her ground. You cannot allow someone violent to live in your home.

Michelle is now being manipulated by her daughter. How? Hope is using her three children. Michelle has been forced into either allowing someone violent in her home or worrying about her daughter and grandchildren. Hope’s husband is a violent, lazy and shiftless bum. Why she had three kids with this loser none of us can understand.

Michelle has been cooking and cleaning singlehandedly for 10 people. My brother, Jerry is supporting an entire household singlehandedly. With shingles no less. Jerry’s stress levels are through the roof. Cindy and I continue to send Jerry and Michelle whatever we can to help our baby brother and his wife. But we can’t control from Texas what’s going on in North Carolina. Michelle has been reaching a boiling point for weeks now.

Jerry was unaware of just how bad it is at his home between Michelle and their son and law. Why? Michelle doesn’t tell Jerry.

Will Hope leave an abuser with a violent temper? We don’t know.

Will Deanna ever find a baby to fill the void losing Delilah left in her life? We don’t know.

But we know this, these are trying times for everyone. Jerry and Michelle’s adult children and their spouses are now out of work. Michelle worries about her grandchildren eating. Her daughter should have left the children with Jerry and Michelle but didn’t. Instead she left with her husband who had just threatened to kill her mom.

Will my sister in law be able to see her grandchildren after all this? I don’t know. I hope so. I pray her daughter sees the light and realizes what’s best for herself and her children…

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Baylor NICU To Garza East, Allred & Roach Units. Driving To My Clients And Away From My Family Isn’t Always Easy…

Last Saturday my first grandson was born three weeks early. Our unexpected joy would become worry within 24 hours though.

Baby Oliver Glenn was having oxygen saturation issues within 24 hours of birth as well as low blood sugar and was subsequently moved to NICU.

Of course my son and his wife were devastated to learn Ollie had breathing and blood sugar issues but, my son and his wife were anxious regarding moving Oliver to NICU and away from Stephanie’s hospital room.

Cindy and I jumped right in to voice all of the reasons why NICU was the best place for Ollie.

How do we know so much about NICU? Cindy’s twin granddaughters Maryssa and Makenna spent months in NICU.

Cindy and my niece Leigh Ann also took turns sleeping in their cars in the parking garage. They both literally “lived at Cook’s NICU.”

For months during that window, I delivered food and clean clothing to Leigh Ann and Cindy before and after going to work everyday.

Having a child or twins in NICU is stressful to parents and guardians. You walk around in a daze. You are sleep deprived. You are worried. You feel helpless.

My daughter in law Stephanie was discharged from Baylor Monday night.

Leaving Ollie behind at Baylor was beyond heartbreaking.

My son felt helpless to calm his wife or fix his son. Robbie was caught in the middle.

Stephanie had decided they would sleep in their cars too. I was concerned about this idea. She had just had a baby. Leaving a hospital bed to sleep in your car isn’t a healthy option. I was strongly opposed to this idea.

To solve the issue of being near NICU, I located the same hotel that Ella a reporter who interviewed and traveled with Cindy and I had stayed near my home in August. I then booked a room for my son and his wife within 9 minutes from the NICU.

I was awake and returning calls at 6AM Tuesday. Driving 5.5 hours to Beeville to meet my bride on Tuesday morning, I had assumed that everything “back home” had calmed down. Why? Robbie and Steph would have a place to sleep far more comfortable than her Jeep and still be close enough to run to NICU every three hours to breastfeed. Cindy and the twins were doing well and had finished painting Maryssa’s room. Cindy is always remodeling. ALWAYS. Leigh Ann and Maddy were looking forward to flying to Texas in two weeks and my only worry was baby Ollie becoming strong enough to breathe and eat at the same time. But… I had more to worry about coming my way. Things I couldn’t foresee. Things no one saw coming.

Arriving at the Beeville Clerks Office I waited for my bride and the grooms mom to arrive. As they rolled into the parking area beside me, I got off a call with a client flying in from Washington. My phone never stops ringing.

Viewing the courthouse area, I had a few areas that I wanted to use for bridal photos and we had at least 30 minutes before we were due on site at Garza East.

I began unloading furs, an umbrella, tiaras and several bouquets before finding the right areas and lighting for photos.

I always bring at least 8 bouquets, 4 furs, numerous signs and 10 tiaras as well as fascinators and fun items for photo shoots.

Leaving the courthouse, my bride and the grooms mother follow me to the Unit while I quickly check in with my son and his wife as well as Cindy.

The Garza East wedding is at 4:30PM. I will be driving home in the rain and the dark 5.5 hours.

It was a long day but beautiful wedding with a cute couple thrilled to finally be marrying.

The grooms mother cried when she saw my bride and I walking out of the Unit after the wedding towards the razor wire decorated gates by the guard shack.

The grooms mother was happy looking through the Unit wedding photos that I had bought. So happy that she cried and hugged her new daughter in law.

I always buy 3 Unit photos if they are offered as a courtesy to my clients.

Driving back to Fort Worth and knowing I had another long day Wednesday, my back is stiff from the drive in pouring rain. I’m relieved to get home by 11PM. Matthew has waited up for me and I’m immediately ready for bed. No dinner. No snacks just sleep. I’ve had so little sleep this week running to and from the hospital when not driving, meeting clients, helping Cindy remodel and filing licenses that I’m literally on auto pilot.

Wednesday morning while in my bathroom throwing on my makeup and preparing to head to meet my first client in Wichita Falls, my phone rang. It was Maryssa. She was hysterical. Her twin sister had taken a handful of Xanax that she had I found in Cindy’s purse “because she can’t keep up with her AP classes and if she can’t make 100’s she doesn’t deserve to live.”

Horrified and knowing I couldn’t be there to support my twin sister or my twin grandnieces, I have Maryssa call 911 and get an ambulance.

My sister nearly needed an ambulance herself. Cindy has heart problems. She had heart surgery just a few months ago. The shock, the anger and the fear another attempted suicide with Makenna brought to her home yesterday quite nearly caused another heart attack for my sister.

I was sick about Makenna and her inability to tell us to change her classes. I was saddened that once again my beautiful niece had become so upset about school that she believed her only way out was to swallow pills.

I’m fearful. Agitated. Confused. Angry. I don’t know why anything like this could happen in our family twice in the past year. Why? Why? Why?

Makenna is under medical supervision at Cook’s Children’s Hospital. Baby Oliver is five minutes away.

My families hospital Merry Go Round continues in Fort Worth.

Meanwhile I’m loading up to head to meet two brides at two Units two hours apart. I have a tight day. Two hours to Allred then two hours to Roach. Four hours from home and my family members.

I’m crying driving from 30 to 35 headed to Wichita Falls. I’m crying because we haven’t fixed Makenna with counseling or medication.

I’m crying because I feel helpless. I’m crying because my twin sister and her weak heart are breaking.

I’m crying because for the second time in 8.5 months, Makenna has attempted suicide and twice Maryssa has found her twin sister incoherent and called 911 and literally saved her life.

I’m crying because I am driving away from everyone who needs me to keep them calm being left on their own.

I have no choice. I have responsibilities that require me to be elsewhere.

Arriving in Wichita Falls, I call my bride. She is still at her hotel. Her shower wasn’t working properly. I meet her there and attempt to curl her hair. I’m all business now watching the clock.

I know exactly what time I’m due at Allred and what time I must leave. My bride is running late. We were due at Allred at 11:30 to check in. It’s going to be 12. I know it and yet there’s nothing I can do to change it. It’s her wedding day. I want her to feel beautiful. I want her happy.

I call the Chaplain and advise him of our delay. At 11:36AM, my bride and her family load up to follow me to Allred.

My usual spot for photos is taken by a man selling yard art. I make a left rather than turn right towards the Unit and pull into a gas station.

My bride and her family follow me. I see a wall that will work as a backdrop and begin quickly unloading inventory for the photo shoot.

A quick ten minute photo shoot behind a gas station and I’m loading up to drive to the Unit with my new friends behind me.

Cindy’s sending a text “they pumped her stomach she should be okay. What can we do? I don’t want to go through this again. We need a new psychiatrist. He just changed her prescriptions last week. I think those medications are causing suicidal thoughts.” Cindy is horrified. Terrified. Guilt ridden of being unaware that Makenna was so unhappy that she was searching for a way to end her life AGAIN.

My voice text reply as I roll onto the lot at Allred was “ask them to ask her if these suicidal ideation thoughts started after changing her medication last week. It’s critical we find out how and why this has happened twice. Make a list. Ask questions I can’t be there to ask for you ask for me.”

I’m crying again. I take a minute to compose myself. I’m due at Roach Unit at 2PM 106 miles from Allred. My client and I are 30 minutes later than I had planned.

Getting out of my suv in the Allred parking lot, I take a deep breath and “I’m on.”

My husband calls this my showgirl face. Business. All business. Leaving my many “cares behind,” I walk towards my bride and we enter together.

Screening in, I advise the duty guard that Chaplain Redwine is expecting us for a wedding.

We wait as we redress. I put my belt and shoes back on. I check my watch. 12:06PM.

I worry about Cindy, Ollie, Makenna, Maryssa, my son and his wife. No one sees my fear, my worry, my anxiety about my family.

I am a great actress. I hide my pain, my fear and my anxiety from others. My clients count on me to be organized and articulate and I am.

I also compartmentalize what I cannot deal with when I cannot deal with it and I’m really good at it. Throughout my entire life, I’ve had to turn my back to the choir and focus on the congregation. From family to business I wear many hats.

Years ago, a psychiatrist who studied me asked me how I was able to “put away” things I couldn’t deal with. The truth is that I learned this technique at a very young age. Cindy and I as well as our sister were victims of sexual assault for years. The predator was a family member. I learned to act normal because I had to. I was 6 years old. I also stopped speaking for many years. Cindy spoke for me. I developed a stutter after that first assault that would haunt me many years.

For the people who “don’t believe inmates should have the right to marry” that consistently contact me to voice their opinions, I want to point out that the person who hurt me and my sisters as well as others was never prosecuted. That’s right I said never. So while you have opinions regarding my clients understand this… there are people walking around who should be in prison that aren’t. There are also people in prison who shouldn’t be that are. I never ask why anyone I’m marrying is in prison. It’s none of my business or yours either.

It will be very late before I’m back in Fort Worth from TDCJ Roach Unit. I have another long day and a head full of concerns about baby Oliver and fears regarding Makenna. We cannot allow her to have a car right now. We can’t trust her not to try this again. We must know why this is happening. We must fight to find the truth. Makenna is quiet unlike her twin. She isn’t a “talker.” She internalizes. She keeps to herself.

At 12:14PM Chaplain Redwine walks in to escort us. The walk through the garden area to the next building is always a moment where I breathe in deeply and realize that giving my best ceremony regardless of what’s going on in my life is incredibly important to my clients.

My clients have waited months for this moment. I need their moment to be as magical and memorable as humanly possible. I need to be “on.” Attentive. I always am.

The visitation area has a number of trainees inside. This is a problem. We will need to wait for them to clear the room and a guard to escort the inmate into the visitation room.

At 12:19PM, we are ready to begin. I’ve counted quarters for three Unit photos. I’ve got my script prepared and I’ve set out the marriage license. I take off my watch and put it back on upside down to keep from looking at it. I do this when time is something I can’t control. My watch faces out from under my wrist rather than on top of it.

Going over what’s allowed and what isn’t with my clients, I ask if the inmate has brought vows. He hasn’t. We begin.

The ceremony hits laughs as well as precious and meaningful moments. I’m articulate. I want the importance of commitment with the joy of love and the journey of a life together covered.

I sign the license as my couple pose for the photos I’ve purchased. I advise my bride that I must be running to Roach.

It’s 12:39PM. I’m at least one hour and 45 minutes from Roach Unit. The Chaplain escorts me to the entry gate. We discuss the number of people listing my name but not hiring me at Allred and come to a solution. The Unit will verify my clients through my office.

I run by my clients truck and let them know she will be out shortly. I put Roach Unit in my navigation and drive 80-85MPH to Childress.

I answer texts by talking to Cindy and take calls from clients and Units. My husband checks in on me. My doctor calls in a refill on my Lorazapam. My life swirls around me as I focus on getting to my next Unit and client.

At 1:57PM, my bride sends a text that she’s on site. I describe my filthy Jeep that I haven’t had time to wash since I bought it three weeks ago and we walk in together at exactly 2:07 after finding each other in the parking lot.

The crows nest guard hollers down “Wendy Wortham?” I answer “yes sir.” Everyone in my life is sir or ma’am. I don’t care who you are or what you do or where you work. Sir and ma’am are the most frequent words out of my mouth.

Ms Shoffner walks out to escort us into the visitation area. We wait on the inmate to arrive. It’s a bilingual ceremony and the librarian has volunteered to interpret. We go through the ceremony and because rings are not allowed to be exchanged with inmates due to Section K of the Administrative Directive, my bride hands her rings to the inmate to place on her fingers. I count coins for the weddings photos. I borrow a pen to sign the license. I go over what to do when the license is returned to my client. Ms Shoffner walks us out together. I’ve got a 4 hour drive back to Cook’s Childrens Hospital and Baylor NICU and I have a worried husband wondering how I’m handling a day I had expected to be filled with love and joy that was dampened by the unexpected incident at Cindys house with Makenna and the possibility of jaundice as well as oxygen saturation for Oliver. I worry how I’m going to teach my grandniece her self worth and to set limitations with school classes. Her overwhelming schedule is driving her to feel like a failure. I plan, I worry and I realize my clients are following me to the bridal shoot and hit my brakes near a lake.

Unloading items my bride and her sister find a few fun items.

I’m now driving back to Fort Worth. The rain doesn’t hit until beyond Wichita Falls. I’m fielding calls and talk texting replies. I’m wondering what I’m walking into at Cook’s first with Makenna, Maryssa and Cindy before heading to NICU to see my son and his wife with Oliver. I’m mentally preparing myself. I’ve just left two joyous celebrations. I’ve just driven over 8 hours the day after driving 12. I’m mentally tired. I’m scared. I’m worried. My family will see none of this. I am the Matriarch. I am the leader. I fix problems. I correct chaos. In last nights situations, I soothed the fear of my family. We will bound together. We will circle the wagons. We will recover and by God’s Grace my niece will learn to communicate her fears and concerns. She will learn to come to us and she will learn that she can. There isn’t anything anyone in my family can say or do that will rattle me at two hospitals. I will remain calm. I’m the calm one.

At Cook’s, Cindy is crumpled on an uncomfortable sofa. I suggest coming home with me and getting some rest. I visit with Makenna. I was right about the new meds. We discuss her curriculum. I discuss changing it. I discuss why and how attempted suicide effect the entire family. I discuss a new psychologist. I make a list of what she needs from home. I explain why I wasn’t there all day and why Cindy couldn’t ride in the ambulance as she was being screened by a second ambulance for a heart attack. I’m calm. I’ve already called Mesa Springs for outpatient when she’s medically cleared. I leave to visit my son and his wife. It’s 9:00PM.

At Baylor with Maryssa who wasn’t allowed to spend the night with Makenna, I find my son crying in the hall. We sit in uncomfortable chairs. I ask him to stay calm. Premie babies aren’t ready yet. I explain that I stayed up late researching the oxygen saturation issues being present predominantly with premature babies. We discuss the possibility of Ollie staying in NICU until his due date March 7th. My son admits he’s feeling helpless and would like to leave with the baby. I remind him the baby is safer at NICU. He asks about Makenna. Maryssa and he sit together as I walk back to find my daughter in law trying to bundle Oliver. I pick him up. He doesn’t cry. He never cries when I hold him. He’s tiny. I ask about jaundice after detecting yellow around his cheeks. Stephanie tells me “they are watching that. We just want him healthy. Robbie is upset we can’t bring him home.” I again reiterate why keeping him in the hospital is in his best interest. It’s not an easy conversation.

My daughter in law “doesn’t want to leave the hospital.” She’s exhausted. My son is exhausted. They’ve been in NICU every 2-3 hours for days and they are walking zombies. I remind her to please go to the hotel and sleep a few hours. I worry about the baby sending their fear. I remind them to sing or read and remain positive in NICU or when around Oliver. They leave with Maryssa and I headed to the hotel I’ve rented. They are so tired that I call to make sure they made it safely.

This morning at 6:45AM Cindy knocked on my door. “I can’t sleep there the chair is terrible the sofa is worse. My whole body hurts. I’m so scared why does she keep doing this? Is Maryssa up? We have to get her to school. What do you have today? I have to file three licenses and print edited photos, go to the post office, swing by Parker County Jail, email my credentials to Johnson County Jail, go to the cleaners, go to the school and change Makennas class’s, answer over 100 emails, call 17 Units for March scheduling and visit Makenna then go see Robbie and Steph.”

We made it through the day and brought Makenna clothing while telling her she was out of the genius classes that were stressing her. We give her books and stencils and snacks. We give her love and show her hope. We are masking the fear that gnaws on is hiding in dark corners. The worry of leaving her home alone and the panic of her having a car and being out of our sight. Learning to trust Makenna to talk to us will take time.

Back over at Baylor, my daughter in law is crying “I just want to go home. Why can’t he get better?” The long talk of doing what’s best for Oliver begins again. Stephanie’s hormonal. She’s just had a baby and is trying to adjust to breastfeeding. It’s a difficult time for a first time mother. She wants to stay with the baby but NICU will not allow parents to stay or sleep with the babies. You are effectively booted out every three hours you are allowed back. It’s hard.

Tomorrow I’m at Green Bay, Mercado, North Tower and back at Cook’s and Baylor. Tomorrow I will hide my fear about Makenna believing she had no other options. Tomorrow I will continue to teach my son and his wife the merits of patience. The importance of putting your children first and why NICU is keeping Oliver on the road to recovery.

Talking to my clients is always easier than talking to my family but, by the faith I have in prayer and my own patience, I hope that Makenna’s treatment and changes in her school workload as well as a re evaluation of her medication will prevent another suicidal ideation scenario. I will try to keep my son and his wife aware that Ollie is improving everyday and that when it comes to children that worrying is part of the role…

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In A Society That Has You Counting Money, Carbs And Steps, Be A Rebel And Count Your Blessings…

We are all fighting our own battles. Many of us want to be thinner. The majority of us want to be wealthier. For my inmate wedding clients though their wish is to be together. Separated by glass, isolated with loneliness, exhausted from long drives to the Unit and expensive phone calls it should be noted that loving an inmate requires tenacity, dedication, resilience, strength and stamina. Big journeys begin with small steps. The Prison wedding planning process is a series of steps. 

I have several clients on my books who will not have the luxury of a contact wedding. It’s something neither they or I can control. Why? An inmates status warrants contact or non contact ceremonies. The glass is a permanent fixture for “lifers.” It’s also present for a G4 or G5 inmate in Texas. The glass can be broken on the base or edges from the fist of an inmate who became angry. Such cracks or marks bother me. I always wonder why or how someone became angry at a person that drove miles to a visit? Usually, I’m bothered to such an extent that I ask the officer to move the inmate to another cube. If the glass is dirty, I also request a move. It’s a wedding and I want everything as close to perfect as I can get it ESPECIALLY if the ceremony is non contact.

The phone won’t work or the inmate cannot hear me? A request to move. Correctional Officers are always helpful and pleasant to me because I’m respectful to them. No one likes the glass. We accept the things we cannot change.

Contact weddings are structured. Two closed mouth kisses. Hand holding. A brief embrace.

The variations of contact or non contact are the ability to touch. Non contact ceremonies are bittersweet. There is no kiss to seal the deal regardless of what state or Unit I happen to be at.

I was driving from Huntsville to Livingston Tuesday when someone from a production company called me. This isn’t unusual. Not knowing anything about my beliefs and compassion regarding my clients? Also not unusual. 

People “find me on the internet.” Whether they are reporters or production companies though the one thing they have in common is lack of research. You don’t know anything about me or my journey and yet you want to pitch me on a show concept or idea or interview me at YOUR convenience? How convenient. 

Last year, I was sent a message on Instagram during the height of wedding season by someone claiming to be casting a prison based show. This person was fairly demanding and assumed that doing his job for him at his convenience was “my luggage and my trip.” It wasn’t. 

I demanded a contract. The contract gave me everything I asked for. What? Stay tuned because this guy was a Charleton, a chameleon, a con artist and an opportunist. Chris and his phony contract were a first for me. I’ve been in the entertainment industry since I was a teen. It’s tough to shock me. Chris did. He also didn’t sign this “contract.” 

Why was he playing me? Because trying to find people in a relationship with an inmate is difficult. They are a very private group. They don’t trust strangers and over the past few years, I’ve been contacted by Love After Lock Up to find people interested. 

Unlike Chris though, Love After Lock Up producers were not demanding of my time or leading me on with a carrot. I had asked my clients if they were interested and shared the producers information to them rather than vice versa. A few of my clients have even applied to Love After Lock Up. 

Chris wanted my clients and was attempting to use me as his gateway to get to them. He was willing to fabricate a phony contract to do so. My dislike of liars is well known. 

Chris thought he had found a hillbilly in Texas to do his job for him. At his convenience and at his demands. A contract giving me the moon and the stars he didn’t bother to sign? Check and double check. During my busiest window of the year, Chris wanted me to find him the talent he couldn’t find on his own. Humph. I’m not a paid talent scout. I’m also not a casting producer. What I am is a very busy person who works seven days and week and doesn’t have time for smoke and mirrors or bullshit. Chris was full of all of the above and consistently demanding. 

I wasted a week of my life last March answering his phone calls, texts, and emails. During the same window, I was scheduled to marry Mary Martin to Lester Butcher, orchestrate a camouflage themed wedding and 9 other events. 

The worst time for a casting producer or journalist to “hit me up” is “in season.” Chris and his unsigned contract became an email suggesting that if he cast any or one of my clients for his “show,” he would pay me $1k. Sure he wouldn’t. This email offer was sent to replace the previously emailed unsigned contract. More smoke and mirrors. I blew him off after a week of being told my clients weren’t pretty enough or interesting enough. 

Chris was picky. So picky in fact that his prison based show never came to fruition. Go figure. His promises of fame and fortune to my clients behind my back through Instagram messages are why I no longer tag anyone. 

The last thing my clients need are a carrot on a stick or false hope. I protect my clients from “industry people” attempting to use them, their story or their journey for their own tag lines or log lines. These people are already fragile. These people are like my children and need to be protected from anyone “leading them on with promises of fame and fortune.”

Casting producers are always looking for “the talent.” It’s their job not mine. My job is to protect my clients. 

At about the same time last year that I was contacted by Chris, Elena Lindemans contacted me. Unlike Chris, Elena was straightforward and honest. I met Elena in Houston a few months ago with Cindy. Her project is far more interesting to me. Why? Because she’s passionate about sharing love stories of pen pals and women married or planning to marry an inmate. 

A few months ago, Jannette with the BBC contacted me. Cindy and I Skyped with her regarding a show concept. We discussed frankenbiting and creative editing. We discussed why protecting our clients and their journey is important to us. I also discussed the fact that a large percentage of our clients are LBGT and asked about whether documenting my diverse client base would involve clients from not only inmate bookings but also bartering bookings and traditional bookings? Why? Because stateside production companies think our diversity is “controversial.” To whom?

Cindy and I liked Jannette off the bat as we did Elena. Honesty and candor go a long way with me. 

Everyone is looking for a story. A pitch. A concept. Aside from Elena and Janet as well as investigative journalist, Ella who spent the day traveling to Units with Cindy and I a few months ago, finding anyone willing to accurately describe ourselves, our clients and our determination to make Dream Events a reality for anyone isn’t easy or cut and dry.

For our clients being contacted by a “producer” or “director,” we encourage you to ask questions before sending photos or sharing your story. Protect your heart and know that there are people who will pitch you who are credible but there are others who may tell you what you want to hear while leading you along with a carrot. Know the difference. Don’t believe everything you hear ladies and gentlemen because Chris was the first person I’ve ever encountered who was willing to send me an unsigned contract and believed I was dumb enough not to question it. Chris underestimated me. 

I’m more than a little familiar with both contracts and liars who will use anyone to get what they want. Ask who has the green light? Which network? If someone tells you they are casting a show, don’t take their word for it. 

Protect yourself from wolves in sheep’s clothing because I can assure you that not everyone contacting you or even me are “casting a show.” Many of them are pitching a concept that may never get picked up and are wasting your time. Chris wasted mine…

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Cold Feet, Warm Hearts And Fresh Starts. The Prison Wedding Planning Process Begins Again…

Last August, just a few days before Eric was confirmed at TDCJ Crain Unit to marry, he called me to advise me that his bride had changed her mind about marrying. 

This was surprising but not as uncommon as you might think. Why? 1% of inmates change their mind about marrying after being given a date to marry. Not the person on the outside but instead the person on the inside? Yes. A number of factors may be the reason for this change of heart but generally months or even years later, the inmate changes their mind to follow through with the wedding which is exactly what happened with Eric. He called to advise me that they were ready and the planning process started over again. 

Eric is a really nice guy and I know he will make a great prison husband. We’ve had long talks about the struggles husbands and wives face from the outside. 

Marrying an inmate is a commitment not to be taken lightly. The expenses and loneliness of being married to an inmate require stamina and finances. From expensive phone calls to long drives to the Unit to putting money on the books, my clients on the outside do it all and they do it alone. Single income households struggle to make it all work but they do. 

Strangers and even other clients ask me frequently “why would these other clients choose to marry an inmate?” This question is better directed at my clients than at me. They know what they are in for and they accept the terms. 

For years now, I’ve had strangers email or even mail me when they aren’t commenting on my posts that “they don’t believe inmates should have the right to marry or they don’t believe in LBGT marriage.” These narrow minded folks assume their opinions matter to either me, my staff or my clients. They don’t. 

Our clients make the decision to marry. Our clients hire my staff to handle the planning and the ceremony. By the way, I have never had a problem on site at an LBGT event OR inmate wedding. No rude guests? No drunks? No idiotic demands? It’s a fact that the majority of our favorite events and the clients weren’t “traditional bookings.” Instead, the best times we’ve had on location are with LBGT clients, inmate clients and bartering clients. This unique and diverse group of clients are not only thankful for our help but also courteous to my staff, our children and grandchildren. Keep your opinions. Opinions aren’t our luggage and they aren’t our trip.

When Cindy and I decided to start an Events business, our goal was to make Life Events affordable to ANYONE. Rebranding and expanding to offer bartering shocked folks but reaching ANY economic level required tenacity, creativity, dedication and drive. 

The Pawning Planners opened a window that effectively “created an opportunity for low income families who couldn’t afford to pay for services to trade for services instead.” 

Love knows no bounds and whether my client is marrying an inmate or marrying outside of the confinement’s of a prison or jail, the variations of their commitment are often surprising to outsiders. 

“PEOPLE that FEAR the STORM, have NEVER lived THROUGH a DROUGHT.” God Bless Us All. 

While one bride wants a room full of flowers with the perfect music and the perfect venue, another bride is sending me photos of what she plans to wear and asking me if it’s within the visitation dress code. There are no divas marrying an inmate. There is no one who has “been dreaming all their lives of marrying inside a prison or jail.” 

My heart is with clients marrying an inmate rather than with the demanding divas who want perfection. I become their mother, their friend, their confidant. The Prison Wedding Planning Process is lengthy, confusing and extensive. It’s not uncommon for me to talk to clients throughout the planning process as well as after the wedding. Our relationship lasts long after their event. The majority of my inmate bookings rebook Vow Renewal services upon release to celebrate their love story with friends and family. They now have the cake, the guests, the music, the dress and the joy of life after lock up.  

I’ve been in this industry many years and I’ve also met all and worked with all types of people from diverse backgrounds. The drama and chaos of “traditional weddings and brides demanding it all or being unreasonable” isn’t exactly a “good time on location for me or my staff.” 

I’ve worked large events as a Planner and Officiant for up to 300 guests. I’ve been on site when brawls have broken out and arrests were made. The number of times I’ve also been interrupted by dip shit “guests” attempting to object during my ceremony is staggering. Who invited THAT guest? 

You could easily say that I’ve seen it all at this point of my career in the events industry because quite frankly, I can’t think of anything I haven’t seen. From the commando guest in a short skirt that had one too many and her high kicks on the dance floor creating a “memorable moment” to the groom stuck in the patio lights during the traditional “toss” to the witness literally running from a bride after effectively voiding the license by scribbling out and changing her address not knowing the consequences of her error would infuriate the bride who was unaware that I could fix the issue by filing an Amended License until she allowed me to explain, the chaos and crazy moments could easily fill a book. 

Cindy and I are “the fixers.” Experience and knowledge are important. A videographer suggested putting an emoji over “the flasher on the dance floor.” I insisted on him editing the video. 

I’m picky about who I choose to work with now. I’ve had people change their date to accommodate my schedule too. If you want it all and don’t want to pay for it though, you are wasting my time as well as your own. Move along. I’m busy. 

By the way, if you are at a wedding to object, you shouldn’t be there and if you are trying to interrupt my ceremony, I’m going to make an example of you in front of other guests and then escort you out myself. Sit down and shut up. If you can’t, stay home. 

I no longer work “over the top events” for “people who found me on the internet” regardless of what the prospective client is willing to pay. Why? I don’t have to. I prefer the intimacy of inmate weddings and the joy of Vow Renewals with previous clients instead. There are no drunks. There are no divas. There is no drama. 

From The Tardy Party Bride Who Lied in order to obtain a police discount to The Bouncing Checks Broken Tooth Bride to The Banjo Playing Ex Boyfriend Who Got The Boot, not only I but also my team have had some surprising things happen on location. All of these “surprises” were with traditional bookings. 

The Tardy Party Bride was over an hour late to her own wedding and could not provide credentials for her discount either. 

The Broken Tooth Bouncing Checks Bride wrote not one but two hot checks. While attempting discuss this matter on location, I was asked to glue her tooth. My finger became glued to the Broken Tooth. No good deed goes unpunished. My medical expenses for the damage of my finger proved that. The bride never did make good on her Bouncing Checks or her Broken Promises.

A Fort Worth Stockyards wedding without adequate security found me knocked over a table. Wrong place wrong time or wrong clients unwilling to take my advice? Open Bars are bad ideas. Nearly every time an event has had an open bar there have been problems on site.

Since returning from California, my dog Foxy has been in and out of the vet. One of our SUVs has been in and out of the shop. The beat goes on. Business and family are an everyday mix for me.I juggle clients from venues, Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners and Prisons as well as Jails in numerous states. I regularly turn down inquiries for large events or someone wanting an Elvis Impersonator. I’m not an impersonator. 

“REALITY checks, aren’t GIVEN, with INSUFFICIENT funds.” If you want an Officiant, Planner and Impersonator, I can find one for you but get ready to pay for it. 

Impersonators are expensive. I’m not opposed to dressing up or wearing themed clothing within reason but if you want me to swivel my hips wearing Elvis attire, sorry buddy you’ve got the wrong person. 

Last year I bought camo clothing after being asked by my client for a Pawning Planners Event. This was a first since I’ve never owned anything camouflage in my life but, my bride REALLY wanted me in camo to officiate so… I worked it out and found an outfit.

Working as a planner for ONE CLIENT and spending months addressing their every whim when I can easily plan and officiate up to 20 weddings a month instead? I will take the 20 happy clients over the one problem client any day of the year. No amount of money is worth dealing with a Diva to me. 

I don’t enjoy spending months listening to spoiled brides who “want it all”  who don’t realize that they “do not have the budget for all of it.” Princesses or Bridezillas don’t understand that everyone has limits even me. Let these folks tie someone else down while expecting them to pay for the rope because I’m too busy for Demanding Diva’s. 

Years ago I took on problem clients but those days are gone forever. No more  miserably counting the days to their event down for me. No thanks, I have happy clients and a good time now. No divas. No demanding mothers. No midnight phone calls about what they want that they haven’t paid for. Goodbye and good luck to them. They are far too much work. 

I’ve met plenty of Diva’s and I’ve learned they take up far too much of my time AND my patience. Time is money. Experience matters. You learn where your time is better spent. I did. It’s well spent with people who matter. Ask anyone in sales how much time and money problem clients cost them if you don’t believe me. I can assure you they will be quick to enlighten you. 

At an event a few years ago where the client had hired an Officiant, you can imagine my shock when her mother called to tell me “you have a team. We want two photographers, help with caterers and a set up and tear down team. I’m going to need you on site for eight hours.” 

Stunned, I skipped a beat before replying “an Officiant is on site for an hour. You have not paid for two photographers or a set up and tear down team or assistance with catering. Lady, I’m going to give you a wake up call and a bill for WHAT YOU WANT in order to WAKE YOU UP.” That lady was an arrogant idiot. If she planned on having volunteers for her daughters wedding at MY expense, she apparently couldn’t read or understand my contract or both. I don’t work without a contract.

 I’m really good at saying no listening to surprisingly stupid suggestions, demands or desires from “entitled idiots” who think they make the rules. I’ve had plenty of experience. You want 10 people on site for 8 hours when you’ve paid for 1 person on location for 1 hour? Come on! Pull out your checkbook or put on an apron and serve the food yourself or find your own “volunteers.” 

The Tardy Party Bride and her posse literally pushed me to the limit. Yes, even I have limits. Thirty phone calls, text messages and emails were sent to me after that fiasco of a wedding and after being lied to. In part due to her harassment, I sued The Tardy Party Bride. We were on Hot Bench in 2015. I had filed the suit in Tarrant County. After being contacted by the show, we both agreed to fly to California. The episode? “Don’t Call Me Bridezilla.” Don’t act like one and I won’t. I won the case. I always “overprepare.”

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” Abraham Lincoln

If lying in order to gain a financial advantage for yourself seems “okay to you” here’s a heads up, it isn’t. Also, late fees are listed in my contracts. Why? Because I’m busy that’s why. Your tardiness affects my timeline.

Being a diva on wedding day and forcing your guests and your vendors to wait over an hour is selfish. 

If you aren’t active or retired military, fire, police, first responder or a teacher, don’t lie to me to benefit yourself by receiving a 20% discount you aren’t entitled to. That’s called Theft Of Services. The Tardy Party Bride was a Bridezilla. She not only lied to get that discount but also refused to come out of the dressing room for nearly an hour and a half on wedding day. Her tardiness affected my ability to be on time and on site with three other clients the same day. Her anger regarding my request to view her credentials? Priceless. She didn’t care that her tardiness had a domino effect to my schedule or my other clients. Selfish people never do. 

Weddings are Life Events. Regardless of where the wedding takes place. I spend a large amount of my time traveling from Fort Worth, Texas to locations hours away. Traveling is a very important aspect of my role.  Monday, I’m back at Green Bay Unit and Parker County Jail. Tuesday, I head out early to Huntsville to begin my day at Estelle Unit at 11:15. From there? Bridal photos and lunch before heading to Holliday Unit at 2PM. Bridal photos with my client will follow before driving to Polunsky and meeting my last client in Livingston, Texas at 5:30PM. It will be another 13-15 hour day of driving for me. Two cities. Three Units. Three clients. One day. Next week I have 7 clients in 4 days alone. Huntsville and Livingston Tuesday. Iowa Park Wednesday. Jacksboro Thursday. Lamesa Friday. Traditional bookings take place on weekends.

I’m always asked about why I offer bridal photography or why I invested in creating an extensive inventory to loan our booked clients for their events and photo shoots, the photos of my happy clients speak for themselves. 

Bouquets, furs, tiaras, fascinators and more? You bet! We bring a trunk load of our Texas Twins Treasures inventory to all of our events. Not just 1 or 2 bouquets but up to 10? Absolutely. Our clients often bring friends or family to their photo shoot and we make sure there are enough bouquets, bouteniers, tiaras, fascinators, furs and fun stuff for large groups. 

My staff and I are dedicated to making Dream Events a reality to such an extent that I add to our inventory year round and have even loaned clothing to clients who asked. I want your day as special as you are. Finding time to squeeze in mini photo shoots with clients on a multiple booking date is tricky but worth it. Clients often tell me that their photo shoot was the best part of their day.

Wednesday I’m in Iowa Park at TDCJ Allred Unit.

Thursday I’m in Jacksboro, Texas at Lindsey State Jail.

Friday I meet two clients at TDCJ Smith Unit. Raymon and Jeremy have waited months to marry. Raymond and Jeremy are also the first male LBGT couple I will marry in a Texas Prison. I’ve married several female couples in Texas Prisons but male couples are rare for reasons I don’t understand. Outside of prisons, a large portion of my clients are LBGT. For the first few years of Texas Twins Events, nearly all of our clients were LBGT. My affiliation and support of the community is well known. My clients are also my friends.

I look forward to finally meeting Eric in person at TDCJ Crain Unit. Like Eric, I believe a happy ending of a new beginning awaits him. Prison Weddings are Rainbows In The Dark…

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“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” –Dolly Parton

A group wedding is a group of different couples marrying at the same time in the same place. 

For me, as an Officiant, traveling back and forth to various states would be unduly cumbersome to my schedule and also financially not feasible to my clients. Because of this and the fact that many states only allow inmate weddings 1 or 2 days a year, performing a large number of weddings on the same day dependent on the number of couples involved also doesn’t always work. 

When does a group wedding work and why am I familiar with group weddings? Years ago, I began performing group weddings due to the many people wanting to marry after the Supreme Court ruling. The start of group weddings for me began then. 

I was the first openly LBGT friendly events vendor in Texas. While other vendors were hiding in the closet fearing retaliation, I was one of the many front runners championing same sex marriage. Frankly, many of my friends had waited a lifetime to marry and died never having the chance. 

I have worked in the entertainment industry for a number of years and subsequently had many friends who were LBGT. 

A lifetime of discrimination was endured  by many LBGT couples. They had no rights to insurance or even burial decisions of their partners. They had no tax breaks. 

Many years before the Supreme Court ruling, my friends Charles and Dewitt who died of cancer without the benefit of insurance from his partner of forty years, Charles was working long after emphysema prevented Dewitt from working. 

The loss of Dewitt’s income combined with his medical expenses and the inability of Charles to add Dewitt to his insurance crushed Charles who would never see the day of LBGT weddings becoming legal during his lifetime. I’ve seen the tragedy of couples who were committed to each other but could never be legally committed for years before the ruling. In fact, I published numerous blogs warning LBGT couples to obtain legal documents for their own protection which included a Body Disposition Affidavit. Without it, loved ones and partners were effectively skipped over by the next of kin to make burial decisions. Probate Courts didn’t recognize non legal unions. Survivors were stripped of community property as well. 

Charles and Dewitt are only one example of a couple who never had a chance to benefit from the health insurance or tax breaks of other “traditional” couples. Their lifestyles were often frowned on. Charles and Dewitt were twenty years older than me and longtime friends. 

For my friend, Charles, I also was occasionally the “beard” at formal social events acting as his “date.” Why could Charles and Dewitt not be seen as a couple? Because back in those days, their partnership would have never been accepted. In fact, cat calling and other types of discrimination or whispers were “normal” to Charles and Dewitt. They felt forced into accepting being treated differently.

As a child, it wasn’t uncommon for someone to refuse to wait on my family. Why? My grandmother was light skinned while my grandfather was dark skinned. In the 60’s, such unions were publicly frowned upon. Many of my family members are “mixed.” 

Dewitt’s family never accepted Charles. Charles was never able to help Dewitt who had no health insurance. After Dewitt’s death, Charles faded away. His own health deteriorated. Rarely I was still able to get him out of the house to go dinner with me at my country club but, his heart was broken. Less than a month after Dewitt’s death, his family went to the home of Charles and Dewitt and ransacked their combined possessions. Charles did nothing because he was powerless to stop Dewitt’s family. 

Charles was unable to make burial decisions because Dewitt and Charles both were unaware of the necessity of a Body Disposition Affidavit and Power Of Attorney. Because they weren’t married, Charles had no legal rights to make burial decisions or keep community property belonging to Dewitt. 

If I sound biased, it’s because I’ve seen far too much in my lifetime. I’ve heard whispers about my friends. These whispers were almost always from self professed Christians frowning on purple unions or alternative lifestyles. A few of these naysayers were my own family members. They didn’t “approve of my friends or clients.” I didn’t approve of their opinions. This rift between certain family members didn’t affect my belief that everyone deserves to find love and have love. 

I’ve also had death threats sent to my office over the years from people who had read about me in the Dallas Morning News and had strong opinions about my rainbow clients. I had choices. I chose to be open to anyone when I began Texas Twins Events. 

These haters underestimated my passion and determination. I could have been bullied into changing my businesses if I was a weaker person but I’m not. I don’t see differences in my clients. I see people. People from every background. People from every lifestyle. I welcomed diversity. 

People who know me are well aware of the fact that my life has never been easy. I left home with my twin sister at 15. We’ve been homeless. We’ve been poor. We’ve struggled and we’ve learned compassion and empathy firsthand. How? Our childhood lacked both. 

My mother was a heroin addict and my father didn’t want to be burdened by four children. We didn’t ask to be born. We were somehow “always in the way.”

Bounced from relative to relative. Abused at a young age, my sister and I chose being homeless at 15. We have never regretted our decision. 

For the first few years of LBGT marriage being legal, I performed group weddings on the courthouse steps in numerous cities. Why? I couldn’t be everywhere at once. 

For the first few years officiating jail weddings, I would literally bounce from one cubicle to the next at county jails. 

For the first few years of prison weddings, the hate mail and death threats I had endured after the Supreme Court ruling returned. I wasn’t intimidated. Instead, was infuriated. 

Who the heck were these people who believed their opinions or beliefs affected my clients? Stay tuned and buckle up for one TDCJ client who was SO OFFENDED that I perform LBGT marriages that she effectively fired me last year and is the reason that EVERY WENDY WORTHAM website blatantly displays BOTH LBGT and Prison Wedding Services. 

If you are on any of my sites and don’t realize this you are either blind or illiterate. 

One TDCJ Prison client took up a lot of my valuable time. I had talked to, emailed and texted her for months before she “realized I was LBGT friendly.” I reworked all of my sites through my developer specifically to prevent anyone else wasting my time again.  You didn’t know I perform inmate weddings or LBGT inmate weddings or biracial weddings and you have a problem with my other clients? Get lost. 

My time is valuable and spent on people worthy of it. I operate four businesses and I’m on staff at several venues. I’m also a consultant for GLG and a volunteer hospice clergy. I work seven days a week and have a very tight schedule. 

I regularly turn down large events due to drama and chaos. I don’t work because I have to. I work because I want to. I service several states including Texas as my home base. 

I don’t advertise and I’ve never needed to. If I’ve spent months walking you through the very complicated process of marrying an inmate, I’ve dropped whatever else I was doing at the time you called, emailed or texted me. Your questions or concerns were important enough to me to do so. 

If another client from a venue I’m on staff at or who is booking through Texas Twins Events or The Pawning Planners “has an issue” with my Prison or jail or LBGT client bases, I FIRE THEM and have for years now. 

Had I known that one TDCJ client “had an issue with my other clients,” I would have cut her loose early and spared myself her opinions and the justification of her opinions upon “realizing” that I married same sex couples. 

Experience is a great teacher. I’ve learned to direct my time and talent to only those who are worthy of my attention. I’m selective about who I work with. I prefer one on one weddings but I’ve performed many group weddings in numerous states when my schedule and the clients income prevented me from flying here or there for one wedding and one set of clients. 

I have flown to another state with my staff many times for one client but the client could and did pay for travel expenses. It’s rare I book large events out of state these days due to the time involved. When I do, the client was a referral. I always try to stack other clients in the same states to defer travel expenses. But, this requires other clients waiting or willing to change their date. 

Recently, a number of my prison clients were shocked to hear that I’ve had YEARS of experience with “jerky clerks.” I was on the news over an over again in Texas during a “wild window county clerks refusing to issue licenses to same sex couples.” I orchestrated picket lines and personally walked my intimidated clients into the clerks offices throughout Texas. I was angry that so many couples who had waited so long to marry couldn’t get a license to marry because clerks paid to issue licenses refused to do so “for religious reasons.” What the? I refused to accept this as a wall. If you are paid to perform a function and refuse to perform that function, quit or for goodness sakes do your job and leave your religious reasons BS at home. You work for consumers. Your job is to issue marriage licenses. It’s none of your business if the couple are LBGT or someone is planning to marry an inmate. Zip up your opinion. Review the documents and issue the license buddy.

For years prior to the ruling, my team and I traveled to states where same sex marriage was legal to accommodate our clients. I’m not shy. I don’t have a problem voicing my belief that love is love either. If people have a problem with my clients, their opinion is of no concern to my staff, myself or our clients. 

Charles and Dewitt were forced to hide their love story. My clients are my friends. Prison or Jail clients are thrilled to marry too. They don’t care about opinions. They have a love story. A journey. A story to tell. 

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Passion Is The Plow That Pushes Dreams Into Reality…Prisons, People & Places.

The holidays are “that time of the year” when holiday parties can bring out a few unexpected conversations after one too many. Loose lips sink ships. I never drink too much or have the desire to do so. There isn’t anything glamorous or funny about people who cannot handle their liquor. A glass of wine occasionally or one vodka martini on a bad day are my limit. I rarely drink even one drink on location but occasionally have based on the situation. Certain clients insist I share a celebratory cocktail or highball and I oblige. 

Corporate Christmas parties always bring the chaos. Why? Free flowing alcohol. Whether I’m working the event or a guest at my husbands Christmas gathering for work, there’s always that one employee who “wants to know more” about the person sitting next to them. Or, there’s at least one person who should have stopped at two drinks. A combination of both always proves for an enlightening conversation. 

I was recently at a corporate Christmas party where I was asked “what do I do?” The person seated next to me was talkative and entertaining but my answer sent her into a laughing fit.

This question about “what I do” comes up frequently. It’s changed from “where do you work?” 

Describing what I do to people who either have an opinion regarding inmate marriage or are unaware that inmate marriage exists can get a few less than tactful responses from the person asking me. 

My usual answer? “I own several businesses and work as a coordinator, Officiant and also barter event services as well as perform prison weddings in numerous states.” The last part is always surprising to the person asking if they don’t follow me on social media or read my blogs. My statement is either met with shocked silence or in this weeks scenario, a laugh from the person asking me an intrusive question such as “what do I do?” A better question would be “what don’t you do?” 

Not caring what others think about what I do or who I do it with is the most liberating gift that I have ever given myself. Let’s get started with “how I got here.” Years ago, I was successful in high end sales, print and commercial modeling and promotions. Years ago, my life was spent on the set, the sales floor or traveling. Years ago, I was always working and spending little time with my family. Years ago, I was working for the man to pay my bills. Years ago, someone laughing at my profession would bother me. It doesn’t anymore. 

I don’t care what others think about my job or my clients. I have the time to spend with my family that my jobs took from me for all of those years. I work for myself. I set my own schedule. I’m highly sought after in the events industry and I regularly turn down gigs with “traditional clients.” Why? Because I don’t HAVE to work. I haven’t HAD TO WORK in many years. 

I’m often “recognized” as is my twin sister. “I saw you on TV.” Or, “I saw you in an ad for Cadillac.” Or, “weren’t you in those commercials for Whataburger with Mel Tillis?” The answer is yes, I’ve been in the film industry since I was a teen. 

I’ve been a promotional model for thirty years and I’ve filmed five commercials with Mel Tillis. For the record, my favorite burger isn’t from Whataburger. It’s from Kincaids. I’m nothing if not blatantly honest. 

How did I get from Whataburger commercials to high end sales and promotional modeling? Good question. I began modeling in my 20’s to obtain an upscale wardrobe I couldn’t afford to buy. I then used my wardrobe to become a high end sales person. You’ve got to “look the part” and, I did. During the week back then, I worked a wide variety of weird jobs but on weekends I was a model for numerous brands. I preferred to get clothing rather than a paycheck. 

Modeling for clothes? It was a barter and a great deal for me. I have closets full of designer clothing and none of it was bought. In fact, my son modeled with me for Stripling & Cox a number of years and was the best dresssed kid in Fort Worth. Those mommy and me style shows kept my son in school clothes year after year. Those years on the catwalk at country clubs provided me an amazing wardrobe of clothing, furs and jewelry. The experience also taught me that I could sell anything. “How did Cadillac come into the picture?” Buckle up kids… during my second divorce my ex husband sold my car. I needed a vehicle, insurance and income. I became a Cadillac salesperson. 

To generate clients I hired a photographer and paid for print ads targeting consumers who could afford Cadillacs at the very same country clubs I had walked the catwalk at. True story. 

Experience is a great teacher. I knew where the money was and where to market. The county club had the clients who could afford Cadillac products.

Moving into an industry I had no experience at? Why not? Selling myself as a high end salesperson was easy. I knew that luxury car dealerships provided demos. I needed a car, health insurance and income. I decided to pitch myself at a local dealership. 

After all, I had sold furs, jewelry, designer clothing and even solar panels. How hard could it be to flip luxury cars? I’ve never sold anything I wouldn’t buy and I would have bought a Cadillac if I could have afforded one so I was all set to start selling. 

I decorated my office off the showroom floor and studied my manuals. I passed my GM certification courses. I also spent time wondering how to generate new clients.

Finding a client base took creativity but I did. Cadillac gave me everything I needed. I had a free demo, gas, health insurance and an income. I decided to run ads featuring myself with a different car every month at country clubs. I was investing in myself. It takes money to make money. I needed the “right clients” and found them. What I did had never been done before by a salesperson in the car industry. I was a pioneer. 

My ex was shocked at how I went from nothing to something. My ex was also one of the many country club members viewing my ads month after month. Smiling back at him from those glossy brochures making more money than I ever imagined? Absolutely. 

That smile was real folks. I wasn’t a hangar anymore hawking or flipping for clothes. My game literally stepped up for those Cadillac ads. Coordinating evening gowns? You bet from my years as a model. I have closets of options. 

In the ad below I decided to wear a chocolate gown rather than match the car. Who didn’t want an XLR? What a great car the XLR was! I loved them. I could sell anything I believed in and did.Poverty is a great teacher. If you don’t learn you will never earn. Successful people don’t start out successful unless they are lucky. I have never been lucky but I have always been resilient. Trial and error are essential to success.

I’m a survivor. I also think outside the box. Other salesmen laughed at my ads. I laughed all the way to the bank. 

I left Cadillac on top. I retired from car sales. I left laughing and moved on to my next adventure. Years of car sales, classy demos and fantastic paychecks was a wild ride but I was ready to move on. Everyone knows I’m an identical twin. This isn’t a news flash. My twin sister has been raising her twin granddaughters since birth. We are two sets of twins. 

While working for Cadillac, I even put my twin and twin grandnieces in one of my Cadillac ads for Escalades. “Got a big family? Get an Escalade!” 

I sold the $hit out of Escalades with that two sets of twins ad posted in the Ridglea and Colonial Country Club monthly brochures. The twins are now fifteen years old. 

My twin is my partner at Texas Twins Events, Texas Twins Treasures, The Pawning Planners and TDCJ Officiant.When I decided to start Texas Twins Events, Cindy and the Twins joined me on location at events and clients hired the twin as flower girls, ring bearers and ushers. This was a surprise. Taking our kids to work became a family affair.

For tips or flips, the twins loved being in weddings. They now book as princess characters for birthday parties. Within a week of going LIVE with Texas Twins Events, production companies started contacting me. This was shocking because my goal wasn’t to get famous. We filmed a Pilot for The Pawning Planners in 2015. It went with the smallest minority of our actual bookings though and our focus was helping others not filming. We don’t have any interest of fabricating our embellishing our journey or our clients.

My goal was to find a way to spend time with my family while making Events affordable to our clients. Any client. Any event. Any location. 

We welcomed diversity. Narrow minded people had opinions. Those “opinions” were THEIR luggage and THEIR trip. “What percentage of your clients are LBGT?” This idiotic question along with others used to bother me. Why? Because the person asking wasn’t supportive of my client base. 

I was the first openly LBGT friendly vendor. While everyone else was hiding their affiliation with LBGT clients fearful of backlash, I was openly LBGT friendly. All of my businesses are LBGT friendly.My first prison client all of those years ago came to me because I welcomed diversity. She had seen me on a news interview regarding support of the LBGT community. She knew I was open minded and she was right. My first Prison wedding was to help a person no one else wanted to help. 

The CW33 interview was aired on numerous stations. Cindy and were in Dallas when I was hijacked by a reporter for that interview. Two sets of twins caught his attention. The fact that we weren’t LBGT was why he stuck a microphone in my face and said “roll it.” 

Even members of my family voiced their disdain for our client bases over the years and effectively cut themselves from my life. I didn’t care about opinions. 

Those family members didn’t lift a finger when Cindy and I were homeless at 15. We had no one but each other to lean on and did. Those “family members” never once helped my sister or I. We had each other and a new family. Our clients became that family.

Prison weddings evolved from a creative request for services. I perform up to 20 prison weddings per month. 

I prefer prison weddings. There aren’t any divas or drama. There is love. There is resilience. There are happy endings. There is life after lock up. My clients are amazing!

“Why did you and Cindy go to the expense to create your own inventory of photo props? Why do you do photo shoots with clients?” Prison photos aren’t always great and guests in Texas aren’t allowed. 

Photo shoots bring the fun, the flowers, the tiaras, the family and magical moments. I’ve spent thousands on my inventory but it’s worth every penny to clients because my SUVs are treasure troves of fun stuff. 

I became the person I wanted to meet. I became the mother I never had. My twin sister and I continue to change the wedding and events industry one family or barter at a time from Fort Worth, Texas. We love our clients and our role to make their Dream Event a reality. Many of you recently saw us on the Mel Robbins show regarding “over sharing.” We are driven and passionate. What was cut from that interview and effectively missed was my explanation of why I was excited a new baby was coming though Cindy already had a full house and was raising her twin granddaughters when a call from her oldest daughter planning to come home pregnant on a one way ticket came in.

Cindy was excited to have another baby coming and posted the update on FB. Cindy offering to take her daughter in with a baby on the way gives you far more insight on how we had decided that with “two of us we could handle anything.” We do everything together including raising our children and grandchildren.

Little Maddy rode with us to Units and jumped into client photos for three years and nearly four before her father returned to the states. Leigh Ann, Maddy and Alex are now reunited in California. We miss Maddy and FaceTime  daily. We are flying to see them in a few weeks while working destination weddings in California. 

Our little Maddy is a ray of sunshine. Leigh Ann is homesick and excited about our twin trip to visit. We are honest and open. We don’t care what others think. Their opinions or negativity don’t enrich our lives. They have “limits” to what they think is controversial or acceptable. 

I was told a few years ago by a production company “what you do is just too controversial.” Really? They contacted me. I’m not going to change who I am or what I do to fit it someone’s mold of what they think I should be or do. My clients are more important than the opinions of strangers.

What Cindy and I have is each other and a desire to change the way people perceive our clients and their relationships. What we have accomplished is giving our clients the event they wanted with the kindness, compassion and attention that they deserved… 

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Tire Trouble, Wet Weather & Winter Weddings At Michael & Beto Units…

Leaving my office this morning at 6:15AM, I was giving myself a wide berth on time since I wasn’t on site at Michael Unit until 10AM with two beautiful brides this morning but a winter frost hit Texas last night dropping temperatures forty degrees. With wet roads and unexpected traffic situations, I prefer to err on the side of caution. Fifteen minutes early is fifteen minutes late. I prefer to be 30 minutes early always. 

Sitting on HWY 20 for 47 minutes to drive less than 12 miles to the 287 exit towards Corsicana, I knew leaving early was a smart decision. 

Rolling through Corsicana, my brother in law, Steve called while I was talking to Cindy from a gas station near the Shell station I had just filled up at. 

The “odds” of my brother in law and I being so close to each other are rare. After all, a few days ago, Steve was in Canada then California then New York then North Dakota. Steve is a truck driver. 

Passing Russell Stover with no time to stop for a candy apple, a text from my 1:30PM Beto Unit bride came through. She was confirming my arrival at Beto. I texted back “I’m at Michael with Audra and Sonja at 10AM and will meet you at Beto at 1PM.” 

I had packed two umbrellas for my brides this morning but needed three lol. “A wet day for a wedding is good luck” I told myself as I walked through puddles to the Unit. Sonja was already waiting for me. Audra was in the parking lot but I couldn’t locate her to hand her my umbrella. Michael is a massive Unit. I’m at Tennessee Colony Units at least once a month. 

My brides and I sat and waited on our escort, Miss Smith together. At 10:32AM, Miss Smith met us and advised us “the Unit camera isn’t working so we won’t have photos today. I’m so sorry.” We were sorry too. No wedding pictures. Miss Smith is an excellent photographer who always takes amazing photos. 

Walking to the Unit, I advised both my brides to use the umbrellas. After all, it was their wedding day and I wanted them beautiful and as dry as possible for their ceremonies. I don’t mind walking in the rain. 

Sadly, Sonja’s Fiancee was G4 which meant a no contact wedding. Audra was married first. We chose the area of the visitation area with a Christmas display for our backdrop which would have been beautiful for wedding photos. 

Following Audra’s wedding ceremony, I signed her license and prepared for Sonja’s ceremony. We both walked to the no contact area and picked up phones. 

I tried not to look at the broken and cracked base of the window separating us. Cracked glass at no contact unit weddings always saddens me. Someone drove for hours to visit an inmate who slammed his fists on the glass. I can’t understand this. The person who had sacrificed their time to visit was met by anger. It’s a tragedy. 

The fact that my couples can’t hold hands or hug is always difficult for me. I wish they could touch. I wish everyone had the benefit of a contact wedding but it’s something I can’t control. I looked past the cracked glass at my bride and groom a love story that would one day have a happy ending long after lock up. 

Sonja began to read her heartfelt vows which would be hard to follow as her voice cracked with emotion. She had so many memories and many things to say. Her fiancé did an amazing job writing his vows too. 

Emotion on both sides of the glass from my couple made me wish they could hold hands or seal the deal with a kiss.

Leaving Michael Unit, our three suv caravan drove to the Tennessee Colony Church for bridal photos. 

I unloaded furs, bouquets and my props. The canopy over the door protected my brides from the pouring rain. They might not have wedding photos but they would have bridal photos.  Loading up and saying goodbye to both of my new brides, I head to Palestine to Beto Unit. 

I’m somewhat hungry and get something to go from the BBQ restaurant near Beto, Gurney and Powledge. 

Returning to my suv, I see a text from my 1:30 bride Taylor. A blow out in Ennis. I check the distance to the unit from Ennis and try calling Beto for Chaplain Strange. The line is busy. Taylor has called Triple AAA. 

I decide to skip lunch and drive to Beto to locate Chaplain Strange and advise him of the situation. My phone never works at Beto, Gurney or Powledge. I have AT&T. No service (as usual). 

I walk up to the guard tower but no one comes out. This is odd. I walk to the gate and hold my State issued ID at the camera and the gate clicks open. 

I walk to the shakedown and remove my shoes, belt and watch. It’s 1PM. I ask the shakedown officer to call Chaplain Strange. I have no idea how late Taylor will be but, I plan to visit with Chaplain Strange until Taylor can make it to the unit. I always enjoy our visits and appreciate him waiting on my bride running late due to an unforeseen problem. 

Inside the Unit as I wait on the Chaplain, I notice the festive tree and Christmas lights in the window as I wait near the vending machines. Beyond the twinkling lights razor wire glistens from the falling rain. It’s a melancholy moment. The festivity Of Christmas marked by the razor wire of the prison. 

I watch officers roll in the shakedown with mail and boxes. Inmates will be spending Christmas at Units as others send cards, gifts and photos to their loved ones locked away. 

It’s not uncommon for units to be decorated for the holidays. Most units are. I recall the wedding at Hughes Unit with a backdrop that read “Merry Christmas!” I listen to the trainees excitedly preparing to start their shifts. The shakedown officer asks another officer how his daughter is doing. All prisons are busy places of employees coming or going. 

Chaplain Strange and I visit for 2 hours before he leaves to call Taylor. The officer who takes photos has left. The transport officer has left. He leaves a message regarding a reschedule on Taylor’s cell phone as I wonder if she has AT&T too?

It’s less than a minute later when I spot Taylor at the guard gate. She’s a vision in pink and white carrying the Manila folder from the clerks office. 

The duty guard is trying to locate the Chaplain while Taylor waits at the gate with 15-20 TDCJ trainees go in and out around her. The Chaplain’s left my side while trying to find a transport officer for the inmate. There will be no wedding photos but there will be a wedding. Chaplain Strange saves the day by finding a volunteer to walk the inmate to visitation. A delay results due to finding the right key. Taylor and I continue to wait. She’s relieved her wedding hasn’t been canceled. I am too. 

Leaving the unit, Taylor follows me back to the BBQ joint I was planning to order lunch from at 12:15 when I read her text about the blow out. I unload items for bridal photos. 

She’s beautiful and happy leaving while  “riding on a donut.” She will drive on to Palestine for a new tire. Palestine is closer than Corsicana. I worry about her getting there in backroads. Driving through Waxahachie, Brandi from North Dakota FaceTimed me. I had talked to Brandi last night regarding her court date next week. I had advised her to sell her truck to cover the cost of her tickets and damage to the apartment building she had driven into a few weeks ago.  Brandi always listens to my advice but rarely takes it. 

Brandi was also upset that Raul was seeing Parole “the day after her court date.” I advised Brandi to focus on solving her problems and let Raul go. He’s married to Valerie now. We shall see how focusing on Brandi works as I worry about her and her well being. 

My daughter in law calls outside of Fort Worth regarding her upcoming baby shower. 

Raymon calls about Smith Unit calling Jeremy to the law library for the absentee affidavit. I’m at Smith Unit on January 17th with another client. I’d love to stack Jeremy and Raymon but without a marriage license I can’t.  

My niece Leigh Ann calls about our trip to CA in a few weeks and is excited about the box Cindy and I sent to Maddy. She texts photos of Alex and Maddy. Cindy had found a little red velvet coat and dress for Maddy. We still shop for her and send care packages every week. My husband calls and asks if he should keep dinner warm. I send him a photo of the clouds as I drive down the freeway and call him to say I will be home late and eat cereal. I’ve been on the road 12 hours and have at least 2 more hours before I’m home. My days are long but I wouldn’t trade my life or the joy I share with clients for anything in the  world.

As I roll into Belltower Chapel and call Taylor to check on her before I meet my next clients. She has a new tire and is headed safely home. I’m relieved. I worry about my clients.

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Wonderful Surprises And Happily Ever Afters…Life Events & The Endurance Of Love…

A few years ago, I married Trishelle at Michael Unit. A few months ago, Trishelle sent me a text that her husband was finally coming home. Their life after lock up as a family would finally begin. I love happy endings.

Trishelle’s mother and best friends had joined her in the drive to Tennessee Colony and because guests weren’t allowed inside the Unit, they waited with Cindy while Trishelle drove me in her car to Michael Unit. My very first maximum security prison wedding. The razor wire looked like it had been encrusted with diamonds in the sun. The guard towers and the size of the Unit were intimidating. Michael Unit has a reputation of being Texas Tough Prison. 

Looking at it through the passenger window, I was thankful that Trishelle was driving. Why? Because I was nervous. I felt intimidated. I had been at Sanders Estes Unit a minimum security Unit and assumed that other Units would be equal to it. I was wrong. Michael is massive and back then it was also intimidating to me. I mustered up the courage to tell Trishelle “I’m a bit terrified.” Trishelle laughed and said “Miss Wendy, I’m here every weekend and I know the drill. You’re with me and you will be fine.” My anxiety and claustrophobic tendencies were running high but I trusted Trishelle and her experience so… in we went. 

Taking off our shoes, belts and jewelry, we carefully put them into the containers to screen in. After a pat down, we handed our ID’s to the correctional officer at the desk and awaited our escort to the visitation area. Walking through the yard, I couldn’t help but look back at that razor wire. 

Entering the visitation area, our groom was escorted out. Vending machine trash was around the area so I moved my couple away from it to the center of the room. Trishelle was wearing a tee shirt that read Mrs Fontenot. She would change into her wedding dress later at her photo shoot with me. 

She was excited and happy and I was far more comfortable once I knew what to expect. Hearing door after door “clank” behind us, I didn’t know it then but it would take several units for me to stop jumping when I heard the clanking. We bought the photos of my newly married couple taken by a correctional officer at the Unit.The couple couple shared a brief kiss and we were escorted out of the Unit. There are no special visits at weddings. We are escorted in and escorted out within 25 minutes. 

Walking back to the parking area, I was relieved and thankful to have had Trishelle by my side throughout my first visit to a maximum security Unit. 

Driving back to meet Trishelle’s mom and friends as well as Cindy, we headed to do her bridal photos and change into her wedding dress. Cindy and I had packed bouquets and an suv of fun items for photos.Seeing Trishelle and her mom as well as Trishelle’s husband again yesterday was truly a delight and happy ending to an amazing journey. 

Lisa had contacted me to marry her to her ex husband 33 years after divorcing him. Love ALWAYS finds a way. I was honored and thrilled to share this Life Event and see Trishelle again too. I had packed a long veil that Lisa wore and brought several bouquets for her to choose from. My twin sister, Cindy handled the photos and we had a wonderful time celebrating the endurance of love and the joy of a happy family reunited…