Category: Love Bears All Things

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“Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom.” –Shakespeare

After a long weekend of traveling to Galveston to San Antonio, my Monday started off with a bang back at Solis for my semi annual mammogram Monday morning. Why semi annual? Because over the past ten years I’ve had not one but two lumpectomies. My visits to Solis make me a nervous wreck. At 7:15AM, my shaking hands handed the tablet back to the receptionist at Solis. By 8:12AM, I was disrobed and going through my X-rays. My phone continued to ring. It never stops. For obvious reasons, I ignored the sound of Westminster chimes on my ringtone. 

By 8:37AM, I was walking to the locker to get my clothing and head to the changing area. My phone rang again. It was Cindy. “Stephaney has been kicked out of rehab and is by your house.” My blood pressure shot through the roof. Seventeen years of my niece and her choices have caused more emotional and financial devastation than I could ever put into words. 

Disappointment after disappointment aside, surprise phone calls about Stephaney consistently upset our entire family. Now literally throwing my clothes on to go look for Stephaney AGAIN, I rolled out of Baylor Health Systems to drive to my home wondering what in the Hell we were going to do with Stephaney NOW?! Two months into her 6 month treatment and yet again, sheer despair and disappointment were literally near my doorstep. 

Kicking myself for paying her bond when she was arrested at Dallas Greyhound months ago when I Cindy and I had tried to get Stephaney into what I believed was a rehab in Valdosta, Georgia and she somehow managed to get herself into a brawl that resulted in the Dallas PD finding a revoked bond from Cotton County, Oklahoma regarding Stephaney missing her probation payment. Driving home, I wished I had let Dallas transport Stephaney to Cotton County. Would jail straighten her out? Who knows. 

For three years now, my niece has had relapse after relapse to the point that not only my twin sister but also I have been hospitalized for hypertension. I reach for my Xanax as I drive preparing myself for yet another version of Stephaney blaming everyone but herself for being kicked out of treatment AGAIN. 

A few blocks from home, I pull over and call the treatment center myself. Stephaney is a pathological liar and I know it. Me “my niece called her mother and said she had been released from treatment.” The center “Stephaney volunteered to leave the program by leaving the hospital.” Hmm, I knew it. Two blocks later, I see my niece at the park near my house. I bark “get in.” 

Stephaney starts in with “it wasn’t my fault.” I turn to her and say “your mother has spent 15 years raising your twins. She has sacrificed her life over and over. You have cost us tens of thousands of dollars trying to fix you. You aren’t our priority. Your children are. You are 32 years old and you are killing us. I’m going to find you another rehab and you WILL finish the program!” 

Stephaney barks “I want a cigarette.” My niece is selfish, self destructive and reminds me of pigpen with a whirlwind of chaos constantly surrounding her. I drive to a convenience store. 

I’m deflated and depressed. I’m desperate to catch a break from Stephaney and her stupid choices. I’m determined to protect Cindy and the twins from yet another episode of “trying to Save Stephaney.” I google Oklahoma rehabilitation facilities. I need Stephaney in another state. I need to act quickly too. 

By the time Stephaney walked out of Quick Way, I had located a rehab. I’m nothing if not determined. As usual, Stephaney had excuses. “I lost all of the things you bought me and my ID.” Lit, I said “what are you talking about?” My niece (laughing as usual) said “I signed a waiver giving up my property to the facility.” 

More drama. More chaos. More stress. MORE EXPENSES due to a 32 year old that flat out refuses to get her shit together and be a responsible adult.

Now in order to get Stephaney into treatment, I would have to go buy a birth certificate and then drive her to the DMV as well as go to the bank for a cashiers check for the new facility. Ugh. Facilities (even cash paying facilities since Stephaney doesn’t have insurance) require proper identification. 

Waiting at the clerks office, I book a bus from Fort Worth to Muskogee Oklahoma for Stephaney at 1:58AM. I have less than 12 hours to replace Stephaney’s clothes, shoes, toiletries and other items Cindy and I have replaced again and again. Grrr.

Cindy meets me at Walmart. We are miserable together as Stephaney throws item after item into the buggy. Three hundred plus dollars later, we roll out of Walmart to Fort Worth. I’m exhausted. Cindy’s too tired to cry. 

My son has picked up the twins and taken them home with him so they can spend the night at his house. My son will take the twins to school Tuesday while I take Foxy to the vet and Cindy goes to an appointment. We are up all night Monday getting Stephaney on that bus to Oklahoma.

At midnight, Cindy and I sit for two hours waiting on the bus with Stephaney to make damn sure she gets on it. At 2:15AM, we realize that the bus has come and gone. SOB. I load up and drive Stephaney to Dallas while Cindy takes a nitroglycerin tablet. I swear if anybody ever believed that dealing with our family was easy they have no idea what sheer, raw, hell my niece has brought to our lives. Acting normal is a full time job waiting on the next sucker punch from Stephaney. Literally. 

Tuesday morning, Cindy and I are Green Bay Unit thinking our latest “Stephaney Situation” is solved. 

Leaving Green Bay to Dr Richwine, by the time Cindy’s getting an EKG, Stephaney is calling to say she missed the bus and that the three hundred dollars worth of items we had just bought Monday are on the bus. Good Lord! We are at the doctor because of Stephaney’s latest sucker punch Monday and yet hours after getting her on the bus in Dallas she gets off in Oklahoma and misses the bus? 

Cindy and I both take a Xanax. The doctor wants bloodwork. We have no time. We leave the doctor to drive to Oklahoma and find Stephaney AGAIN. 

Hours from Fort Worth with no sleep after staying up all night to get Stephaney on that damn bus to Muskogee. I’m beyond exhausted. Cindy’s angina is killing her. I worry about Cindy. I’m always worrying about Cindy.

We find Stephaney at Choctaw Too Travel Center. Three hours from the rehab facility. Cindy and I have had less than two hours of sleep. I call the center to pick up Stephaney’s luggage from Greyhound. I want to cry but I can’t. I’m too angry. Stephaney ignores her mother and I by listening to her music. No apologies. No thank you. There never are with Stephaney.

At 4:37PM Tuesday, I cannot find the facility. We are in a corn field. I am having a meltdown. Cindy is silently crying. Stephaney is listening to music. I call the facility and ask them to meet me near Chateau at Hookers Restaurant. 

At 4:42PM, a car with two nice ladies pulls up next to us. Stephaney gets out. They invite Cindy and I to follow them to the facility. I decline by explaining “we are 6 hours from home. Wednesday morning I’m in Huntsville then Woodsville. Thursday, I’m in Pampas. I’m sorry but we have my son looking after Stephaney’s twin daughters and husbands worried about us getting home tonight. Thank you for meeting us.”

Without a goodbye, Stephaney walked to the other car…

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Hello Again Houston. Huntsville to Ramsey Unit And Meeting Elena In Person…

Leaving WorthamWorkd at 4:30AM to head to Ramsey I Unit, I had been coordinating with Elena who was landing at Hobby to arrange a meeting with her while Cindy and I were in the Houston area. Ramsey I Unit is about twenty minutes outside of Houston near Stringfellow Unit which was previously Ramsey II Unit. It’s unusual for  TDCJ Unit to have a number behind the name. 

Darrington, Terrell, Stringfellow and Ramsey I are located within close proximity of one another. In fact, Ramsey I, Terrell and Stringfellow are within 5 minutes of one another similar to Michael and Coffield within 15-20 minutes of Beto, Gurney and Powledge Units in Tennessee Colony. 

Powledge, Beto, Coffield, Gurney, and Michael work in cooperation: Feedmill and Grain Storage, Farm Shop, Cow/Calf Operation, Poultry Laying Operation, Swine Farrowing/ Nursery/Finishing Operations, Pork Processing Plant, Security Horses, Security Pack Canines, Edible and Field Crops, and Unit Garden.

There are many cities in Texas that feature clusters of Units within close proximity of one another. Gatesville as well as Huntsville, Rosharon and Tennessee Colony have numerous Units within minutes of one another. 

Last month, I had a wedding at Ellis Unit in Huntsville in the morning and another at Crain Unit in the afternoon. Huntsville to Gatesville is a haul. Two hours and forty six minutes from one another (based on traffic) makes for a very long day. Gatesville Units house predominantly females although Hughes Unit (also in Gatesville) houses men. 

Because I must “estimate the time inside each unit” as well as the distance between them when stacking unit weddings the same day, a wide berth of at least an hour “inside” is required. Factors that can cause a delay are waiting on the Chaplain or our escort as well as waiting on the inmate to be located. Because of timelines, it’s best to have your loved one request a lay in the day prior to your scheduled inmate wedding. 

My first conversation with Elena was approximately a year ago. I had been returning from Huntsville Units with Cindy when Elena called me regarding inmate marriages. This isn’t unusual as I’m frequently contacted by reporters, production companies and networks regarding my unique client bases. 

Inmate Officiant services are available in many states although Texas is my “busiest booking” state. I’m not geographically limited to one state. Neither are Cindy or my niece, Leigh Ann. We cover numerous states.

Elena is not only a journalist but also an award winning documentary filmmaker. She had called while in Houston doing research for her film project and we’ve stayed in touch over the past year. Elena was looking for Dutch women marrying death row inmates in Texas. She is passionate about this project and has found two women to date. One is living in Arizona and married to her inmate while the other is living in the Netherlands and unmarried.

It had been hoped that Elena could visit Polunsky Unit as she had heard that Wednesday’s are media days at Polunsky. But, in order to get media access, you must go through TDCJ as a journalist who travelled with me a few weeks ago to several TDCJ Units did to obtain access and clearance. 

During my two days with Ella, she had hoped to visit all of my scheduled Unit weddings but TDCJ wouldn’t give Ella access to all 4 of my Units but did give her the option of choosing one Unit to witness me officiating a marriage. Ella chose Polunsky. Getting into Polunsky requires being on the list. 

TDCJ Unit weddings are scheduled between 9AM and 4PM. TDCJ Unit weddings do not take place on weekends as the visitation area is in use by visitors. Weddings at Polunsky take place after 5PM. 

Because Polunsky schedules weddings after 5PM, I was able to schedule Coffield Unit at 9:30AM, Michael Unit at 11:30AM, Holliday Unit at 2PM and Polunsky Unit at 5:30PM on the same day. Three cities and four Units in ONE DAY is a long day. Ella was in my suv for 14 hours from Fort Worth to Tennessee Colony to Huntsville to Livingston to Fort Worth. A day in my life always involves driving, careful planning and orchestrating. I’m OCD and constantly aware of distance and time. I have to be. 

Polunsky houses death row inmates in Texas. Polunsky was named after Allan B. Polunsky, a former chairman of the Texas Board of Criminal Justice who is now the chairman of the Public Safety Commission, the governing board of the Texas Department of Public Safety.

Polunsky houses Texas’s “supermax” units and is notable for being the location of Texas’s death row for men (executions, though, are conducted at the Huntsville Unit in Huntsville).
Due to the timeline and requirements to visit Polunsky, Elena was unable to visit the Unit this trip. An inmate must also agree to an interview or media access. 

Media access inquiries must go through TDCJ. In order to obtain access, you will need the inmates name and ID number as well as consent from the inmate and TDCJ. 

Since I’m always asked about gaining access to Units, I’m attaching the following information from TDCJ Communications. 

Media Policies and Guidelines for Offender Interviews:

Reporters wishing to interview offenders incarcerated within the Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) should submit their request in writing, by fax or e-mail to Jeremy Desel, Director of Communications, at (936) 437-6055 or jeremy.desel@tdcj.texas.gov.
All requests must be submitted on the news organization’s letterhead, and should include the reporter’s name and contact information, including an e-mail address. The request should also include the offender’s name and other identifying information (date of birth, TDCJ number, etc.) when known.
Interviews with general population offenders may be scheduled any weekday during regular business hours with the permission of the unit warden.
Request for interviews must be submitted at least three working days prior to the date of the reporter’s desired visit. Reporters will have one hour to interview an individual offender. A reasonable amount of time will be allowed for camera crews to set up equipment. This set-up time is not considered part of the hour granted to the reporter.
Interviews with men on Death Row are conducted on Wednesdays from 1:00 p.m to 3:00 p.m. Requests for these interviews must be submitted no later than noon on Monday prior to the desired Wednesday visit.
Reporters will have one hour to interview an individual offender on Men’s Death Row. A reasonable amount of time will be allowed for camera crews to set up equipment. This set-up time is not considered part of the hour granted to the reporter.
Interviews with women on Death Row are conducted on Tuesdays from 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. Requests for these interviews must be submitted no later than noon on the Monday prior to the desired Tuesday visit.
Reporters will have one hour to interview an individual offender on Women’s Death Row. A reasonable amount of time will be allowed for camera crews to set up equipment. This set-up time is not considered part of the hour granted to the reporter.
All interviews will take place in the unit’s regular visitation area. No other photos or video footage may be taken in or outside the unit unless specified by a Communications Officer, or the unit warden.
Crews are limited to no more than three people. Each crewmember must have a valid driver license, passport or other official form of photo identification in order to enter a unit.
Reporters are not allowed to take the following items with them into TDCJ units:

Cellular phones
Tablets

Laptops

Cash

Tobacco products or lighters

Purses or briefcases

Pocketknives, fingernail clippers, or similar items.

The following items are allowed in the reporter’s possession: recording devices, wireless microphones, notepads, writing instruments and camera equipment.
It is recommended that reporters arrive at the unit at least 30 minutes before their scheduled interview time.
Everyone entering the unit will be subjected to a pat-down security search.
Conservative dress is encouraged for all visitors. Clothing that is tight fitting, revealing, or made with see-through fabrics is not allowed. Sleeveless shirts and dresses are allowed, but must cover the shoulders. Dresses or skirts should be no shorter than three (3) inches above the middle of the knee. It is also preferred that reporters and their crew members not wear white.
Reporters are generally allowed to interview individual offenders once every 90 days. Exceptions may be made by the Director of Communications if there is a major status change in the offender’s case.
Attorneys, families, spiritual advisors, and other individuals on an offender’s personal visitation list are not permitted to be present during media interviews, nor are reporters able to accompany any of these individuals on their personal visits.
Media representatives may not be listed on an offender’s visitation list if they wish to be recognized as media by the Communications Department. Any journalist who is placed on an offender’s personal visitation list will not be allowed to visit that offender as a media representative. The organization affiliated with the reporter placed on the offender’s personal visitation list will also not be able to visit the offender.
Failure to adhere to the agency’s media policies and/or guidelines may result in removal from the unit. Such failure may also jeopardize the organization’s ability to conduct future interviews at TDCJ facilities.

Questions about TDCJ’s media policies may be directed to the Communications Department at (936) 437-6052.
At the time Elena initially contacted me, I didn’t know of anyone from the Netherlands and had no one from Europe on my client roster. But, I posted on my FB and Instagram pages in search of ladies for Elena’s project just the same in the event that there were ladies who would reach out to Elena. 

Several months ago, while en route to TDCJ Wynn Unit, a call from a Germany number came through. It was a daughter who wanted assistance getting her mother married to an inmate at Wynn. 

Since I was driving there, I found this to be ironic. Calling about Wynn Unit while headed to Wynn Unit that is. The more I listened though, the flags started flying. The problem? The mother didn’t speak English and the inmate didn’t speak German. 

Heads up for anyone wondering why this would be a problem… marriages of convenience are strictly forbidden in the United States and constitute marriage fraud. 

Marriage fraud is a felony. If you cannot communicate with your partner, I can assure you that neither I or anyone else on my staff will conduct a marriage ceremony. 

I’m marrying a deaf inmate to a deaf client in a few weeks at Estelle Unit but they can communicate and understand each other. They can also understand my marriage ceremony. 

The daughter wanting help marrying her mother to an inmate DID speak English. But, she didn’t want to help her mother because she is already married to an inmate at another Unit and “busy with her own life.” I found this statement odd and alarming. The daughter could have traveled to Walker County or assisted her mother with the process but chose not to. Why? She was too busy? She wanted someone to help her mother get a marriage license I.E. me and also to marry her to an inmate at Wynn Unit but the fact that her mother couldn’t communicate with the inmate was a huge red flag. This problem would be a hurdle. 

I spoke to this young lady of my concerns and drove at the same time explaining why and how the communication aspect would be difficult. After all, I don’t speak German. The daughter speaks English. The daughter didn’t want to get involved. Hmm. I am more than a little familiar with marriage law. I advise people on a regular basis of why marriages of convenience are not in their best interest AND a crime.

The daughter wanted to drop her mother in my lap but this situation needed an immigration attorney first and foremost. I am blunt. This hot potato situation needed a hot minute. How was her mother going to file for a marriage license when they are only available in English and Spanish? I had a wide array of questions pertaining to the problems and the daughter “not wanting to get involved” really bothered me. It’s her mother. Why wouldn’t she want to get involved or help her? After going over all of the reasons this request wasn’t simple, I never heard from the daughter again.

Marriage Fraud is a crime… ICE Marriage Fraud Brochure. Whether the inmate is unaware of the penalties associated with marrying an illegal Alien who is trying to obtain citizenship or not, if you call me with suspicious reasons or intentions, I’m going to advise you of what a marriage of convenience is and suggest you seek an attorney.

The inmate is not my client. The person in the free world is. But if I cannot communicate with you, you are not a client. I will not conduct a marriage ceremony via electronic device. 

Both parties marrying at a prison with me officiating (whether one is behind glass or not) can both hear and understand me AND are standing within 3-5 feet in front of me. 

I do not perform proxy marriages and personally feel such marriage ceremonies are as far removed from “traditional” as you could possibly get. 

Yesterday morning, someone stopped me at the Parker County Jail to advise me of their belief that “people only marry inmates to obtain conjugal visits.” Ignorance speaks without forethought. Texas does not allow conjugal visits. The states with conjugal visits are California, Connecticut, New York and Washington.

I’m well aware there are are other states and even other countries that allow such visits but can assure you that none of my clients are marrying an inmate solely to benefit from a conjugal visit. For those unaware of what a conjugal visit is, here’s the Wikipedia link… Wikipedia Conjugal Visits.

I follow the letter of the law pertaining to marriage ceremonies and am well versed on family law and marriage law. There are those who aren’t but I’m not one of them. People going online to officiate marriages that have no idea of the burden their role carries need to educate themselves. 

Proxy Marriage is no longer an option within TDCJ. Both parties must be present and coherent. There must be a valid marriage license. No someone cannot get a marriage license for you. You must do that yourself. There cannot be two absent parties. An absentee affidavit is only available for one party. The absent party AKA the inmate who is unable to appear in person. 

Other states require the inmate to incur the expense of being transported to the clerks office while Texas eases the financial burden by allowing Absentee Affidavits in place of the person appearing at the clerks office. 

Communication is vital to marriage. If you cannot communicate with your partner and you happen to be here on a Visa, your marriage will be closely scrutinized. Why would you want marry someone you cannot communicate with? 

For the past year, I’ve not found any European women marrying death row inmates other than the one call from the daughter wanting someone to help marry her mother to an inmate at Wynn. I don’t speak German which is obviously a problem as well. TDCJ does have hearing impaired translators.

Marrying a death row inmate or “lifer” is a heavy burden. They will never come home. They will never see parole. There is no happy ending or Vow Renewal long after lock up. Only a very driven person could take on such a complicated relationship. I’ve met several. They accept what they cannot change. Their relationship is based on letters, phone calls and visits. They will never hold hands or touch. They will forever be separated by bullet proof glass. 

Since Cindy and I were on site at Ramsey meeting Shenequil, I sent an email to Elena letting her know our timeline. Shenequil and I waited in the lobby at Ramsey for our escort to the visitation area while Cindy waited in my suv fielding phone calls and emails. 

This wedding was a reschedule and I was excited to finally meet my bride and client in person. We sat and waited on her groom and his escort together. 

As he walked into the room, I decided to use a painted wall for the backdrop and moved tables and chairs to clear an area for the ceremony. 

Shenequil told me that she hoped to have her husband home for Christmas. He’s hopeful too. As we drove out from the Unit, searching for an area for photos our drive brought us to city hall. 

Cindy and I began unloading our inventory for some colorful and fun photos while visiting with my new bride. I love learning more about my amazing clients. 

Shenequil had a long drive back to Henderson and Cindy and I were headed to finally meet Elena. I chose Taste Of Texas which was about 20 minutes from Hobby and 38 minutes from our location in Angleton.

We had never been to this restaurant but liked the name. Festively decorated for the holidays, Cindy, Elena and I all enjoyed a meal at Taste Of Texas and a great visit together. 

Elena told us about the book, Death Row Dollies and her interest in women choosing to marry Death Row inmates. She had travelled to Arizona prior to Texas to meet a model who had married an inmate and was running a successful business from home. We also discussed another lady from the Netherlands who has had a seven year relationship with an inmate at Polunsky Unit. I offered to officiate the wedding. 

Elena told us about her family and asked about our own. We are very close and very open. Elena’s mother suffered with mental illness. Our mother struggled with addiction and bad choices. Elena’s mom jumped off a building our mom sold us for $50 each on our 6th birthday. All of us became the mothers we had never known. 

Hardships can define you or empower you to be stronger, more driven, more determined and more resilient. Hardship teaches compassion and wisdom. 

Elena’s project will put the unique and often misunderstood stigma of prison love stories into perspective. Shining a positive light on those who love an inmate is a challenge mainly because widestream media chooses to muddy the water rather than portray these men and women who love an inmate as the warriors they truly are. They do it all and they do it alone on the outside. The live on one income. The raise their children alone. They run to answer expensive phone calls from inmates. They make their love last through extreme circumstances. Their passion and commitment are remarkable.

We look forward to seeing Elena again in the Spring as she begins filming Unconditional Love.

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Don’t Be Tardy To Your Prison Wedding. TDCJ Ellis To Crain To Hughes To Cleveland Unit…

Next week I’m seeing my Ellis client again after a reschedule due to her being over twenty minutes late to the Unit. I’m going to once again revisit the importance of arriving at least twenty minutes early. Please give yourself a wide window on wedding day. 

Wedding day apparel falls within the visitor dress code guideline. Err on the side of caution. If you are uncertain regarding your attire, text me a photo to review. No one wants to be handed a cafeteria smock!

I arrived at TDCJ Ellis Unit at 8:20AM for a 9:00AM scheduled ceremony. Upon arrival, I sent a text to Melissa to let her know I was in the Prison parking lot. For those who follow me on FB, I also check in as many times I have no cell signal once on Prison property. I will always be driving one of our black SUVs with a banner on the back window to identify my vehicle. 

Cindy will also be driving a black suv with a banner so if either I or Cindy are officiating your wedding, we will be in a black suv. If my son or his wife are conducting your ceremony, they will be driving a black 4×4 truck. 

Surprisingly, I had a good signal and returned emails while waiting on Melissa. At 8:45AM, I sent another text and walked to the guard tower to announce my arrival. 

I then returned to my suv at 8:55AM to call Melissa. She advised me that she was 10-15 minutes from Ellis. This alarmed me. Why? Because Units give a 20 minute Tardy window before cancelling and effectively rescheduling your ceremony. 

Ellis Unit has an inmate count daily that would cause a scheduling issue. At 9:18AM, Melissa arrived. I met her in the lot and returned to the guard tower. At 9:24AM, Chaplain Jasper arrived to escort us into screening. By 9:36AM, Chaplain Jasper left the screening area. 

At 9:40AM, I went to the wardens secretary to inquire about an escort. At 9:43AM, I was advised that the head count would take 1-2 hours. This WAS A PROBLEM. Why? Because I was due at Crain Unit at 1:30PM. Crain is three hours (on a good day with traffic and road construction) from Ellis Unit.

I had advised the wardens secretary of my afternoon commitment and my inability to wait on site 1-2 hours for a same day reschedule. The wardens secretary walked out to advise my client of why a forced reschedule was warranted. 

Had Melissa arrived at 9AM sharp, the inmate could have had the ceremony before being moved for the 10AM head count. 

It is imperative to arrive early on wedding day. I cannot stress this enough. We have waited weeks or months for this day. Please plan accordingly.

Leaving Ellis and my devastated client, I made the three hour drive to Gatesville, Texas to meet Gary at Crain Unit. Gary had booked services last March. Gary and Amee had been trying to marry for months. 

Naturally, Gary was excited and nervous due to the number of setbacks trying to obtain a marriage license. The problem? Coryell County Clerks Office continually changes their requirements. 

Gary made four trips to Gatesville to buy a marriage license. FOUR. Gary finally purchased a marriage license in Harris County. 

Meeting Gary, I told him that “everyone is nervous. Stay calm. I will be by your side every step of the way.” I meant it.Getting Gary and Amee married took months which is unusual but also proves the dedication, perseverance, determination and resilience my clients exhibit in their quest to marry an inmate. 

Love knows no bounds. Gary had emailed me while I was in New York filming with Cindy and Leigh Ann about “getting a date.” I was already booked at Ellis and checked the distance on my iPhone from Huntsville to Gatesville. I knew it would be tight. 

I left home at 5AM to arrive at Ellis early. Huntsville is 3 hours from my location. Why did I leave FOUR hours early? Road construction. I overprepare. Leaving Gatesville, I pull over to reschedule Melissa at Ellis then call her to ensure she will be available. I “go over” meeting me early at the Texas Prison Museum on 10-08-2019. Why? Because Melissa became lost on her previous wedding date and because I am at 3 Huntsville Units on 10-08. I cannot afford for Melissa to be late again due to my schedule AND because a 3rd reschedule will require a new I60. Her marriage license will expire before the paperwork would be approved. To solve this problem and prevent any issues, I’m driving my client from the Prison museum to the Prison. 

Kanani had previously been scheduled to marry at Cleveland Unit. Due to flooding, her Wedding was rescheduled. As usual, I left an hour earlier than necessary. I always do. Thirty minutes early is thirty minutes late for me. I’m from a military family and I was taught at a young age that “being late is stealing and you cannot replace time.” This sage advice has stuck with me my entire life. 

Driving to Cleveland Unit, I answered calls regarding upcoming bookings at Polunsky, Connally, Garza, Michael, Coffield, Ramsey, Jester, Lewis, Allred and Gurney Units. Texas is my busiest booking state.

I do not text or email when I’m on the road. I answer texts when parked waiting on clients. I answer emails in the evening or early mornings prior to heading to locations. Please call during the week. Please text on weekends as I’m on location weekends and driving during the week. 

I’ve had 14 clients rebook for Vow Renewals due to inmate releases this month. I’m as excited as you are to be planning your wedding your way with family and friends, flowers and all of the fun stuff this time around. 

Kanani and her soon to be mother in law were on site early thank God. PLEASE ARRIVE EARLY ON WEDDING DAY. We walked in together. Her mother in law waited in the lobby.

Walking into the visitation area to greet his soon to be bride, my groom nearly cried with relief that wedding day had finally arrived. Why? Because he had started the process at Beto. He had hoped to marry two weeks prior but flooding caused yet another setback.Kanani and her mother in law followed me just outside the Unit for her bridal photos. 

The trees by Cleveland Unit were a beautiful backdrop. I had packed my suv with a wide variety of options for my new bride. Leaving Cleveland, Texas, I took calls from several clients. I look forward to seeing all of you soon at your prison weddings in Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas and Oklahoma.

Cindy and I will be in California and can’t wait to see our Cali Clients in December. 

I’ve been contacted by a reporter who wants to hear your Prison Love Stories as well as Love After Lock Up producers. If you’d like to apply for Love After Lock Up, The blog link for requirements can be found by visiting this link- Casting Now- Love After Lock Up.

If you are interested in sharing your story with this amazing and passionate journalist, contact me.

Regarding Vow Renewal Certificates, my California Client was already married. To celebrate her anniversary, she contacted me regarding a Vow Renewal. Prisons do not offer Vow Renewals. 

If you’d like to purchase a Renewal Certificate as an anniversary gift, email me wendy@texastwinsevents.com 

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TDCJ Jordan Unit Or Bust. Travels Of A Texas Twin. Prison Weddings With Wendy Wortham…

Months ago, Ashley had contacted me to marry her at Roach Unit. In July, we were finally on schedule. My client was uncomfortable driving in downtown Fort Worth. Her first visit to the clerks office, her grandfather drove her and I met her. 

Ashleys grandfather is an amazing man. He’s taken on caring for Ashley and her son as well as her cousin living under his roof while caring for his wife suffering with Alzheimer’s. I worry about the stress he has. Meeting him in person, he’s far more resilient than I had expected. A former Marine and retiree of Lockheed Martin, his wife is a retired schoolteacher. Ashley’s grandfather has a full plate. 

Sadly, for Ashley, the Absentee Affidavit had not been Notarized by the notary at the law library. Getting Ashley married wasn’t going to be easy but, I am not one to give up easily. 

From the clerks office and my first in person meeting with Ashley, I contacted the Unit. I also mailed a new Affidavit to the Unit and assured Ashley that I was going to get her a new Affidavit. Ashley left the courthouse crying and concerned. Ashley and I would stay in contact over the next few months on a wild ride of “following the groom.”

A few weeks later, Ashley called to tell me she had a new Affidavit and needed me to drive her back to the clerks office. I drove to Richland Hills and picked her up stopping for a quick lunch in Watauga. 

Once we were at the clerks office, another fiasco would ensue. I’m glad Ashley wasn’t alone at the clerks office that day “waiting for the next shoe to fall” on her wedding plans.

This time, the ID was invalid. I had Ashley call the law library to request the proper TDCJ form of Inmate ID only to learn that the inmate had been “put on a chain.” Glenn was no longer at Roach Unit and Ashley obviously wasn’t going to be marrying him 48 hours later. 

Devastated yet again and confused as to why getting married was becoming so difficult, Ashley had encountered setback after setback. 

A few weeks ago while at another Unit, Ashley sent me a photo of her marriage license. She had finally obtained it with the help from the law librarian at Jordan Unit. I contacted the Unit and scheduled her wedding for 1PM on 09-17-2019. Ashley asked if she could ride with me and we set up plans to leave my home office at 7AM yesterday. 

At 6AM, Ashley sent me a text “I know I’m early but I didn’t want to get lost. I’m a few blocks from your house.” I sent a text back that read “let’s leave early. Meet me in the driveway.” 

My navigation on google was (as usual) running me in circles. I’d never been to Jordan Unit so I had Ashley load the directions into her phone. Past Bridgeport and Allred Unit and even Roach Unit, I drove on. The drive to Jordan much like my drives to Garza Units, McConnell, Stiles, Darrington and other five hour plus one way jaunts can be exhausting. I spent easily 12-15 hours on the road.

Arriving at 12:30PM at Jordan, I checked in with my husband and grabbed Ashley’s marriage license. She was finally going to get married. The glass was a possibility wwe were both aware of but separation is up to the Warden and neither I or Ashley knew for sure if Glenn would be behind glass. 

I checked in with the wardens secretary and waited on a bench with Ashley. The visitation area was bustling with activity. We would wait an hour and a half for the room to finally be announced “clean” before clearing in and escorting into the area.

Jordan Unit has no machine walk through. It’s the only Texas Unit I’ve been inside that doesn’t. The warden advised us that the wedding would be behind glass which dissapointed my client.

Walking up to the phones, I noticed that Glenn had a black eye. I then noticed his infected finger and assumed it was a spider bite. Ashley noticed that Glenn had lost weight. Glenn cannot call Ashley due to a charge. Glenn suffers from seizures. But the black eye was due to his “roomie” punching him over a tattoo gun being found in their cell. Glenn went in as a G1. While in El Paso, Glenn had apparently taken a pill from another inmate for a headache at Sanchez Unit and caught a charge that moved his status from a G1 to a G4. At Jordan Unit, the tattoo gun netted Glenn the black eye and segregation. Glenn is 23 years old. Glenn is in prison for missing his check in on probation. 

Moving through the ceremony via two phones, Glenn and Ashley like anyone else had hoped for a contact visit. But, Prison Weddings follow protocol. 

Ashley and Glenn share a seven year old son. Ashley lives with her grandparents. Her grandfather had taken her son to school yesterday. We pose for photos. I pay for the photos. I borrow a pen to sign the license. I then give Ashley and Glenn a few moments to visit while waiting on the photos to print.Back in my suv, finding gas station near this Unit is a hurdle. Generally, finding a station near a Unit isn’t.

Jordan Unit is literally in the middle of nowhere. I finally locate a broken down gas station in dire need of fresh paint with farmers in overalls being the only customers. Relieved that I didn’t run out of gas, I also buy Ashley chips and a drink before heading to Fort Worth. 

Just outside of Childress, I see a building for a few bridal photos. I pull over and unload items for Ashley. She is thrilled the wedding is finally over. I am too.Ashley sleeps as I drive on several hours while taking calls for Smith, Wallace-Ware, Darrington, Stiles and Coffield. 

It’s 4:45AM when I began writing this blog. I worry about Glenn in segregation. I worry about Ashley, their son and their future together.

I’m in Huntsville today at numerous Units meeting numerous clients excited about getting married. I leave at 6AM to start my day…

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It takes HEART not STRENGTH to lift a LOVED ONE back up when they are DOWN…

Loving an inmate requires dedication and perseverance. It’s not an easy path for any of my clients. But, love is stronger than than most people realize. 

Yesterday, a stranger called me who had been following my blogs for years. This person had decided to finally “reach out” in order to point blank ask me “how I became so compassionate towards others?” 

It’s confusing to others how I became the person I am today but, I’m open minded and determined, passionate and perseverant because I haven’t had an easy life. If I had, I might have been a different person but, a hard path didn’t define me or my sister. A difficult childhood empowered us both with strength, courage, tenacity and resilience. 

The truth is that throughout my childhood, Cindy and I as well as our stepsister had very little attention and much less compassion from those who were supposed to love and protect us. Our mother was a heroin addict. Our mother also sold all four of her children for $50 each to go buy heroin. 

Cindy and I were 6 years old and at our grandparents house alone with our grandfather while our grandmother and other family members were at another house planning a birthday party for my twin sister and I. Neither of us will ever forget this particular 6th birthday.

Why? Because my grandfather had played the tape recorded conversation with our mother (as he often would over the years) to remind us that no one wanted us before sexually assaulting us. I would stop speaking on my 6th birthday. I would for many years have difficulty speaking. 

People say “children learn what they live.” This is bullshit. Children can and do learn to break the chains. Cindy and I did. We both hate drugs. We both went to great lengths to protect our children and grandchildren from ever being hurt in the same way we had as children ourselves. We were never taught compassion by example. 

Instead, we learned to be compassionate regarding others because we knew lack of compassion by the examples of people who were supposed to love and protect us failing to do so throughout our childhoods. Cindy and I left home at 15. We never looked back. Instead, we looked forward.

Last Friday, my twin sister, Cindy was hospitalized with chest pain. After 16 years of the “carnival of chaos” Cindy’s youngest daughter, Stephaney has pulled us back on over and over again, the end result is that my sister has hypertension. Stephaney is a meth addict. 

Someone told me last year “don’t hate the addict. Hate the drug.” I’m assuming they must have been an addict because I know damn well that anyone who loves an addict would never say anything this stupid to someone who was yet again “Trying To Save Stephaney ONE MORE TIME.” 

The number of times I’ve told my niece “this is the last time” would astound you. The lengths Cindy and I have gone to in order to put her daughter on the right path would amaze you. We absolutely refused to give up. We can no longer go on. Yesterday was Stephaney’s last chance. I fear if she doesn’t choose to change, her choices will destroy our family once and for all. 

My niece and her choices have hurt my own health as well as my sisters. Stephaney’s choices have affected her twin daughters mental health and self esteem. Stephaney is self destructive. Stephaney has consistently backtracked. 

Last weekend after three months of sobriety, Stephaney backtracked again. Sunday, I was in the hospital with chest pain regarding Stephaney’s latest relapse. My sister and I as well as Stephaney’s twin daughters, Maryssa and Makenna were all (yet again) devastated. 

Yesterday, Stephaney was released from her 18th visit to JPS due to drug induced psychosis. My son had driven my niece to JPS while Cindy was in the ER with me. My daughter in law and son also took over my bookings last Sunday. I’m terrified that Stephaney’s choices will eventually kill my sister or myself. 

I drove my niece to rehab yesterday. I cried as she cried. I mourned the years she had lost with our family. I feared and continue to fear the future of my sisters health issues that Stephaney’s choices have burdened her loved ones with. How do you change an addict? How do you save them? 

People have asked “how did your mom stop being an addict?” She didn’t. High as a kite, a Los Angeles transit bus collided with my mother’s car. The “accident” took 60% of my mother’s cognitive ability and one of her eyes. 

In essence, my mother “forgot” that she was a heroin addict. I pray my niece decides to stop being an addict and chooses to be a part of our family instead….

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Comments, Questions & Concerns? Why Prison Weddings Open A Window Of Opinions From Others That Needs To Be Closed…

Late last night, someone who apparently was searching hashtags for prison weddings found me on FB and Instagram. First off, I’d like to express that if “you don’t believe that inmates should have the right to marry,” I am confused as to why you are specifically searching for people marrying an inmate? Are you bored? Nonetheless and anyhow, Donna, this blog is for you. 

Donna, I’m going to address your concerns although I strongly disagree with your opinions regarding inmate marriage because apparently, you felt strongly enough about your opinion to message me. 

First though, I’m going to express how offended I was for my clients regarding your observation of downplaying their dedication by describing their love story as “Jailbirds turned lovebirds.” 

This description is so narrow minded and one sided that I would best describe it as outrageous. It doesn’t even begin to adequately describe the relationships of my clients or their partners. 

Your assumption that most of my clients were pen pals is also far from true. The majority of my clients knew the inmate years prior to incarceration. This is a fact and believe it or not, something my clients choose to share with me. I don’t ask why their loved one is incarcerated either. 

On the flip side of the same coin, I don’t ask my traditional clients from Texas Twins Events or The Pawning Planners or ANY Client booking me through a venue I’m affiliated with if “they or their soon to be spouse has ever committed a crime and if so what it was?” No vendor would ask a question like this and I certainly won’t either. I don’t screen anyone. I’m in the people business. I help people. 

A large percentage of the people my staff and I are helping have no one else to help them. Why? Because they are judged by other vendors and effectively “screened.”

I have several clients that went to school together and even lived in the same town or on the same street. Many were lovebirds as teens and young adults long before lock up. 

I would like to point out statistics first to educate you regarding the number of people incarcerated in the United States who either personally know or have a relative in prison. Cornell University surveyed a representative sample of more than 4000 people. 

The resulting report shows that one in seven adults has had an immediate family member incarcerated for more than one year, and one in 34 has had a loved one incarcerated for 10 years or more.

One in four American adults has had a sibling incarcerated. One in five has had a parent sent to jail or prison. One in eight has had a child incarcerated.

Today, 6.5 million adults have an immediate family member currently in jail or prison.

These are staggering numbers but the above numbers were from 2018. You had stated that “I don’t believe that there are people out there wanting to marry an inmate and if there are, they have reasons other than love for choosing to do so. Prison marriage is a fad. A trend. A plea for attention.” 

This belief and statement is so wildly inaccurate that you should know that as far back as 1996, Prison Weddings were occurring in California. These weddings were not taking place because they were “trendy.” They were taking place because someone was willing to give up their life and commit themselves to someone else who was incarcerated. 

Someone loved someone else SO MUCH that even though they had very little to bring to the marriage, their heart was in the right place. Their belief that love knows no bounds led them to the decision to marry an inmate.

Prison marriage isn’t new or unique and is far from being a trend. Prison marriage REQUIRES COMMITMENT! Prison marriage isn’t for the meek. To be married to an inmate is a difficult path. You raise your children alone. You pay your bills alone. You do everything alone. It’s a very heavy cross to bear to love an inmate and commit your life to loving an inmate by marrying one. People who do not make this decision lightly. They go in with their eyes wide open. How do I know? I have met them. 

Among prison psychologists, it’s widely accepted that marriages between people who had close relationships beforehand are more likely to endure than those between people who met while one was behind bars.

“The marriages that begin in any situation where the woman is sort of aware of the person the inmate is prior to incarceration tend to last,” said Ronald Browne, a former prison psychologist at the U.S. penitentiary in Lompoc and now in private practice in Santa Maria.

The couples I have married “on the inside” have gone through a very lengthy process in order to be legally married. It isn’t something they decided to do on a whim. 

A Prison wedding is one of the very few joyous things that occur “inside” a Prison. While you and others may feel that your opinion has an impact on my clients, their choices or even their families, I can assure you that you are incorrect. 

Getting married is an act of hope. Prison marriages may be the most vivid demonstrations of this because they are undertaken in the most restrictive circumstances and hold for the husband and wife only diminished prospects for togetherness.

Prison marriage may not be for everyone but, love surpasses all things. You may not understand this but, love knows no bounds including the separation and loneliness that anyone who loves an inmate experiences. The dedication of driving every weekend to visit. The phone calls, the letters and the love locked down. 

My clients are the most determined and resilient individuals I’ve ever met or ever will meet planning to marry someone else. Marriage is a merger. It’s a commitment for anyone entering into a marriage.

On the “outside,” my couples and often my brides in particular want the perfect dress, the perfect venue, the perfect cake. 

On the “inside,” my clients cannot have these things. They must carefully choose their clothing. They must remove their shoes and belts. They must follow stringent guidelines. 

In effect, a marriage to an inmate is far more about the other person than the frivolities of couples marrying outside of a prison. 

Donna, since you apparently assume that “all prison weddings END in divorce,” I’m going to educate you with the truth and advise you that your opinion is a myth. None of my clients have filed for divorce and I’ve married many, many people inside prisons. 

On the outside though, three of my couples over the years have divorced. They had everything my Prison Weddings Clients didn’t but they still couldn’t make their marriage work. 

Marriage is give and take. Marriage to an inmate is mostly give for my clients because they are pulling the wagon alone doing time on the outside while the inmate does time on the inside. 

Only a very strong and dedicated individual can overcome all odds and make their marriage last. My clients are very strong individuals. They are passionate and perseverant. 

Long after lock up, these clients call me to schedule a Vow Renewal. That’s right. A celebration with the dress, the cakes, the music and the family who couldn’t attend their inmate wedding. 

For these clients, celebrating freedom of their spouse, the celebration isn’t about impressing others with over the top extravagance. The celebration is of love that endured through a very difficult window. A marriage that made it through the rain and the pain that will finally see a rainbow to begin their life together. No more expensive phone calls, long drives to the Unit on the weekend to stand in line and screen in, no more running to the phone every time it rings to keep from missing a call they’ve waited all day to receive. 

Vow Renewals for my former prison couples are to celebrate my couples freedom, endurance and dedication to one another. They made it through the rain, the loneliness, the pain and the despair. They survived love locked down and their journey together at last is something so exciting that I cannot even begin to put into words the joy of a Vow Renewal after lock up. You wouldn’t understand. 

Donna, what you should understand though is that none of my clients are seeking your acceptance of their choices. None of my clients feel the need or have the desire to explain their decision to you. 

I’m a sucker for a fantastic love story. I’m also a firm believer in second chances and I will go to my grave stating that love is love regardless of who people choose to love or whether or not others accept their choices… 

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Headed To TDCJ Hilltop Unit And Gatesville, Texas A City Of Women’s Prisons…

Gatesville is one of the cities I frequent due to the number of Units located there. I had been contacted a few weeks ago by my client wishing to marry there and although this would be my first visit to Hilltop, I knew exactly where it was from passing it numerous times on my way to Hughes, Crain and my other “regular Unit stops.”

Gatesville is a city in and the county seat of Coryell County, Texas, United States. The population was 15,751 at the 2010 census. The city has five of the eight prisons and state jails for women operated by the Texas Department of Criminal Justice.

Hilltop is the hub of the six prisons in Gatesville. The Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) described it as “a true prison farm” that “fittingly serves as the headquarters for the area’s agricultural operations.” 

The unit has pigs fed on feeder slabs and sixty horses used by field officers from surrounding prison units. The regional operations and maintenance departments are located at Hilltop. The unit hosts the pre-service and in-service area training facilities. Hilltop is the center of vehicle maintenance and repair work, and it serves as the area fuel depot.

The exteriors of the Hilltop buildings have bright white paint; the TDCJ says that the buildings “sparkle like white diamonds when the light is right.” Many building interiors have moldings dating from the 1890s. Some staircases are topped by pressed tin ceilings from era that the former Gatesville State School was built in. 

The Texas Building of Hilltop Unit was formerly Ferguson Hall; its current name stems from the concrete letters, colored in red, white, and blue, spelling “TEXAS.” The Texas Building’s first floor has classrooms and a library. The upstairs has an auditorium and a walled-in projection room. 

A cemetery containing graves of children of the former state school who died there is located across Business Highway 36.

Hilltop houses a program for female young offenders, located in the main Hilltop school. As of 2002 about 15 girls are in the program. 

The Hackberry Unit houses a Parole Modification and a Substance Abuse Felony Punishment Facility.

My groom had met his fiancée while visiting another inmate and former church member housed at Hilltop Unit. My groom was very excited to finally be marrying and I was surprised to learn he was from Azle, Texas. 

My husband has numerous developments in the Azle, Springtown, Lake Worth and Saginaw areas and as teens, Cindy and I briefly attended Azle High School. I never ask why an inmate is incarcerated however, my clients always wish to share the details. Delwyn was no exception. 

A deeply religious man, Delwyn arrived initially across the yard from my SUV at the Hilltop Unit but told me that “the visitation entry was on the other side.” Since I hadn’t been to this Unit before, I moved my SUV to follow and parked across from the Regional Directors Offices. Delwyn and I walked inside as Cindy waited in my SUV. We were of course in the wrong building and told to go back over to the main entrance. 

Delwyn and I both drove back to the main entrance at Hilltop and approached the tower guard. Due to the back and forth from one entrance to the next, Delwyn and I were both sweating profusely as we waited in the Texas sun for the guard to come out and count quarters for Unit photos after verifying our ID’s and then instructing us to go back over to the visitation entrance on the other side of the building. This was really unusual as traditionally, I enter through the main building, screen in with my clients and wait for an escort to the visitation area. 

Back parked at the visitation area, Delwyn and I were screened in. We walked across the street with two guards to wait on the gates to be unlocked but one of the keys wasn’t working. If I was overheated at the main entrance, I was really overheating waiting on another guard to come unlock the gate on the other side. But, waiting is the role of a prison wedding Officiant as well as my clients. We waited together as our escorts unlocked the gates and finally met Stacie standing smiling outside the visitation room. 

Upon entering the room, I went over “the rules.” There are strict rules regarding inappropriate contact during a prison wedding. Both parties are allowed two “pec kisses” and allowed to hold hands and briefly hug. 

Since I’m always asked about this, there are no conjugal visits at TDCJ facilities. Marriage ceremonies are generally “contact visits” unless the inmate is G4 or G5 status or for some other reason behind glass. If the inmate is behind glass, there is no contact.

Delwyn had sent me several “poses” he wanted for his wedding photos. I generally prefer to do photos after the ceremony because clients are relieved to get the wedding behind them and far more relaxed. 

Delwyn had also written his vows and the opening for my ceremony which is unusual but I enjoy creative client input. My couple were somewhat nervous as most couples marrying inside a prison are. 

Delwyn had brought a derby hat with him to the ceremony so I reached over to grab it and put it on him for one of their wedding photos together. I loved his bow tie too.

Hilltop didn’t have the painted walls in the visitation area that most Texas Units do but a beautiful tapestry had been hung on the wall which provided a dash of color. 

There are no special visits after a TDCJ wedding ceremony. We have 20-25 minutes inside the visitation area for your wedding. I time my ceremony to incorporate your vows and our timeline to give you sufficient time to say what you would like. If you have handwritten elements, please bring them with you.

As Delwyn and I were escorted back out of the visitation area, we both said goodbye to Stacie to follow the guard to the clearing area to await our photos to print. My favorite was the photo below because it shows just how much love Delwyn has for Stacie. I had decided to use the Coryell County Courthouse for a few groom photos and followed Delwyn there. Since my Grooms rarely take more than a few photos at their shoot, I had packed a few bouteniers and a sign for Delwyn and planned to incorporate his signed wedding license into the photos as well. 

Delwyn and I were both fairly overheated from standing outside Hilltop for over an hour together. I’m really looking forward to seeing Delwyn and Stacie again for their Vow Renewal and honored to have shared their Life Event at Hilltop Unit. Leaving the courthouse, I headed to the Dairy Queen drive through and was as surprised and delighted to see Delwyn standing at the counter across from me as he was to see Cindy and I. Like me, Delwyn had a long drive back to Azle while we were headed to Fort Worth and was thrilled to finally be married after a lengthy process to be granted permission to marry.

I’m at Connally Unit tomorrow with my beautiful bride, Victoria and at Buster Cole with Kelly on Friday. Can’t wait to meet you both.

My San Saba transfer from Plane Unit client had emailed me about August 20th at San Saba but I’m at Estelle Unit on the 20th about four hours from San Saba and due to the distance between both Units had to call San Saba for a secondary date. The first option was August 13th but, I’m at Telford Unit on the 13th so I will finally meet my groom at San Saba on August 27th at 10AM.

I answer a lot of questions about scheduling. The timeline to plan and execute your Prison wedding in Texas is 4-8 weeks. Clients booking first are my first priority. I cannot and will not “move an existing client and confirmed date at another Unit” to accommodate a new booking. What I can do is choose my next available date. As you know, I do not and will not advertise. My reasons for this are to keep my schedule flexible for my booked clients. 

I have other family members Approved to officiate your Texas Prison Wedding however, most clients only want me to officiate their wedding. Because of this, first booked clients take priority. Clients booking mid month are at the end of the month are accommodated based on my existing schedule.

My Gib Lewis booking for next Thursday was “chained out.” We now follow the groom. There are many chains in Texas at this time so when an inmate is “on a chain,” we wait and refill the I60 once the inmate is situated at the next Unit. 

For my Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas and California clients, we look forward to meeting ya all soon and like you wish that you had two days per month as an option to marry. However, the limited window available for your Prison Weddings are how I can move from one state to the next. If every state had two days per month to marry, it would be impossible for me to be everywhere on the limited number of days available which is why “stacking” works not only for you but also me. Stacked clients are discounted because I’m at one Unit with more than one client. Because of this, I discount all of my clients as a courtesy. 

It’s another busy weekend coming up with destination wedding in Colorado for our traditional clients who have booked a Vow Renewal. My last visit to Colorado was to spread my father in law’s ashes and I’m looking forward to a joyous visit this time around to Colorado.

Please remember to bring your marriage license, ID and quarters if you wish to buy Unit photos with you to your Texas or other state prison wedding. 

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Out And About With Clients & More Questions Regarding Out Of State Marriage Licenses…

This morning while preparing to leave Bell Tower Chapel and head to a rehearsal brunch for my previous Coffield Unit clients wedding tonight, another question came through regarding using an out of state marriage license to marry in a Texas Prison. 

Let’s review this ongoing controversy and understand that while a marriage license from Texas CAN LEGALLY be used in other states that a prison Warden makes the final judgment on whether or not to allow an out of state marriage license at a Texas prison or any other prison for that matter.

“Can I use my Texas marriage license to get married in another state?” 

First and foremost- you should know that a Warden can and may refuse to allow you to marry in a Texas Prison with an out of state marriage license. Subsequently, a Prison in another state may refuse to allow you to marry in their state with a marriage license from another state. What’s “widely accepted” outside of Prisons isn’t always “widely accepted” inside Prisons. The Warden can and does make decisions pertaining to the inmate. The Unit also REQUIRES you have a marriage license on wedding day. 

It’s in your best interest to contact the Unit PRIOR to purchasing an out of state marriage license to inquire as to what the Unit requires by asking if an “out of state marriage license will be accepted by the Unit in place of an in state marriage license.” 

This question regarding out of state licenses continues to pop up but, each state has different rules. Each prison Warden makes the final call on what’s accepted and what isn’t. Please check with the clerks office  and ESPECIALLY the Prison Unit itself prior to purchasing an out of state marriage license for a Prison wedding in another state. 

A marriage license issued in the State of Texas can be used for ceremonies in other States. Texas law doesn’t “specifically dictate or mandate Prison Marriage” however and the Warden has the final say on what will be accepted and more importantly what won’t be accepted in terms of your marriage license on wedding day at his or hers Unit. 

Please contact your out-of-state officiate before applying for a State of Texas marriage license. 

Please also keep in mind your license will only be recorded in the County and State in which you applied for the license.

I’m going to once again strongly encourage you to contact the Unit prior to arriving on wedding day in Texas with a Louisiana marriage license or in Oklahoma with a Arkansas marriage license or in California with a Texas marriage license TO MARRY AT A PRISON. As many of you are already well aware, Prisons follow their own protocol. 

If I arrive at a Unit and the Unit denies you entry to marry based on your “out of state marriage license,” you will forfeit my fee as I’ve just driven or traveled several hours to meet you for your Prison wedding. 

If you have arrived with an out of state license “because you read on the internet” that you could do so without contacting the Unit to verify the facts, you did so at your own risk. I cannot stress this enough. 

Marriage licenses are closely scrutinized on wedding day at all prisons and the use of an out of state marriage license has been denied at Texas prisons before. 

The Warden makes the rules. Not the internet or someone posting that “you can use any other states marriage license for your prison wedding in Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma and Mississippi.” You can only do what the Unit and the Warden authorize you to do. 

Be aware of false or misleading information as a wedding outside of a prison has BY FAR more flexibility. A wedding inside a Prison follows protocol. 

Call the Unit yourself if you have doubts but stop trusting “whatever you found on the internet to be accurate.” Stop sending me screenshots of what you read on someone else’s site too. She’s selling a service. She’s also pitching her product. She’s also not in Texas. I know who she is and I also know that her information is unverified. Are you willing to have your wedding cancelled because she gave you inaccurate information? No one else is either. Call the UNIT! 

Arriving at Fixe today to meet the wedding party for brunch before our rehearsal, I’d taken a few minutes to review the menu and loved the creative ideas for food options. Of course I opted for a spicy Bloody Mary (as usual). This was a really celebratory day. After two years, seeing my beautiful bride again was a joyous honor for me. I love happy endings. 

The brunch menu was biscuits and gravy, shrimp and grits and deviled eggs with sauerkraut and caviar along with a really unique salad featuring blue crab. I’d never tried caviar although my husband loves it and was surprised at the saltiness. 

All in all though, this was a fabulous, fun and memorable brunch. I really enjoyed meeting my brides closest friends, family and children. 

My husband checked in on me as I was preparing to head to the rehearsal. We timed the rehearsal after brunch so the wedding party had plenty of time to get ready for wedding hour on site. 

It’s unusual to have the rehearsal and the wedding on the same day for my clients but due to traveling to and from Fort Worth for the wedding, creativity was in order. My clients are leaving for a cruise from Galveston this evening. 

Cindy and Stephaney were working a Willow Lake Event Center wedding while my son was working a Baptism in Dallas. As usual on weekends, the team was split up. Leigh Ann was working a wedding in San Diego and recovering from her “near kitchen fire” yesterday afternoon at the Inns Of The Marines. Leigh Ann and Alex will be in San Diego for another 49 days before moving to their new home on the base at Point Mugu. Leigh Ann had tried to cook dinner last night for Alex and Maddy with disasterous results in San Diego. 

My niece and grandniece are adjusting to the California move aside from cooking of course and enjoying the beach. My sister, Tammy is meeting Leigh Ann this week and excited about seeing Maddy again. My sister lives in Lompoc and is “still trying to get used to driving in Los Angeles.” 

Although Cindy and I have no fear whatsoever of jumping on the highway, our older sister, Tammy prefers “driving in town.” We are working on getting Tammy comfortable on the 405 and 605. Los Angeles traffic isn’t for the faint hearted or nervous driver. It takes far too long to use the 101 from Santa Barbara all the way up the coast although Tammy loves the 101. 

If you have time to take the 101, it’s worth the drive alongside the ocean but, in the Prison wedding business, making out your location and the timeline is essential to getting to your Unit early which is why I frown on the leisurely 101. Sure, it’s less hectic but it’s also far more time consuming and riddled with red lights. I’ve driven the 101 for thirty years when I’m not in a hurry but prefer the freeway because it’s been years since I’ve had the luxury of taking my time to drive from one location to the next. 

My dog, Foxy Wortham hasn’t adjusted too well after his dental surgery and the bite marks on my fingers from trying to pry his mouth open look like I have poison ivy. 

Looking at my battered manicure while writing this blog, it should be noted that the vet suggested this idea after the ongoing battle to get Foxy to take his meds became just too much. I’ve decided that after Foxy there will be no more pets at WorthamWorld. I travel too much and my husband loves dogs but caring for a dog requires a lot of commitment. Foxy is nearly 13 years old now and set in his ways. Biting me is new but he’s old and cranky. I’ve accepted getting but every morning but it’s a pain I can assure you. 

Tomorrow I’m in Dallas County then headed to Winstar Casino to marry my “second time around senior couple” who met on a gambling trip to the casino. I love learning how my couples met and find their stories fascinating. Cindy and I will be hitting the slots as usual and looking forward to a few hours of fun. 

Tuesday I’m at Hilltop and Crain Units in Gatesville and my husband is joining me. A road trip with my husband isn’t nearly as fun as with my twin sister but, Cindy will be tied up getting the twins ready to go back to school. 

Wednesday I’m back in Parker County and looking forward to buying school supplies for the twins and grabbing a quick lunch with them. 

Thursday I’m at Connally Unit and Friday back at Buster Cole. Next week is jam packed too. I’m looking forward to finally meeting all of you in person to celebrate your wedding day. 

Like everyone else, I’m depressed and shocked at the recent shootings. Cindy and I both attended the garlic festival many times in California. I had told Leigh Ann and Alex not to stop in El Paso when they left for California last week for strong reasons. 

Thirty years ago, Cindy and I had stopped in El Paso on our way to my home in San Clemente and we’re nearly robbed. I am always aware of dangerous areas and the world is becoming a far more dangerous place. 

Tragedy seems to be occurring far more often than when I was younger. Danger lurks at every corner these days and because I’m always asked “why I prefer prison weddings to traditional events,” I will reiterate that I’ve never been hurt at a Prison wedding. I’ve never encountered a drunk on location at a Prison pushing me or being abusive. 

I’ve had some pretty wild and unpredictable occurrences at “traditional events” outside of prisons over the years and I don’t miss the open bars and brawls either. In fact, I will never miss them. My team won’t either. I’m too old to get hurt on location. I’m tired of dealing with Inlaws and Outlaws and parties of 250 and more guests. I’m picky and selective because I can be. I’m dedicated to making your Dream Event a reality and the last thing I need are broken ribs from drunken groomsmen fighting around me on location. Arrests at wedding? Yes. Over and over and over again. I prefer joy. I prefer fun and I prefer my Prison clients! 

Many of our previous clients were alarmed that I had posted pulling back from large events but the pulling back was meant for new clients. Rebookings are the mainstay of our business and Vow Renewals for our previous Prison clients are booked twenty years out. We love seeing all of you again. We are honored to have shared your journey. We are just as excited as you are to marry again long after lock up. The flowers, the friends, the cake, the champagne and all of the things you didn’t have at your Prison wedding are all of the things you will have at your Vow Renewal and we are as thrilled as you are about it. 

It was a long road for you. Many of you have told me “I was doing time too while he or she was inside. I was driving long hours to the Unit. Paying expensive phone calls. Going through the screening process. Waking up alone. Paying the bills alone and paroling out means that I will never have to make that drive along again. I paid my dues.” You’re absolutely right and the sacrifices you’ve made to make your marriage work are amazing. 

You are all warriors. You’ve overcome everything going against you to make your love last and you are the most inspiring and resilient group of amazing people I’ve ever met. I love ya all and I couldn’t be more honored to be sharing your Life Event with you whether it’s in a prison or long after lock up on the other side of the razor wire… 

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County Clerks, Ellis Unit, & Ferguson Unit My Role Requires Determination, Dedication & Hours Of Driving…

For months now, getting Amanda a date to marry at Ellis has been a hurdle. Many of my clients encounter clerks who are opinionated and far less than helpful when they realize my client is marrying an inmate. 

One clerk in Eastland actually had the audacity to ask Amanda “why would you want to marry an inmate?” A clerk in Abilene told Amanda that “marrying an inmate was illegal.” This couldn’t be further from the truth. However, I don’t have time to educate clerks and my clients don’t have patience either. If you work at a clerks office and have an attitude, find a new job. 

These people are supposed to understand their job but don’t. If your job is to issue marriage licenses, you are being paid to do so. There’s a reason I send my clients away from county clerks who are obviously untrained and the reason continues to be upsetting for clients. The reason is that being challenged by a clerk who doesn’t know the law or has an attitude when trying to buy a marriage license is the last thing anyone needs. 

Opinions of clerks issuing licenses to the public should be censured and yet they aren’t. The tragedy of both arrogance and ignorance in county clerks offices continues. No one buying a marriage license should be forced to endure “the opinions of a clerk.” Your role is to serve the public.

Clerks aren’t the only people impeding the prison wedding planning process. Last month, Chaplain Jasper informed Amanda fiancé of a date to marry at Ellis Unit. The problem was the Chaplain didn’t bother to notify me or check my schedule. I was already scheduled at a confirmed date at Coffield and Michael Units on the date given to the inmate. 

Obviously I cannot be in two places two hours from each other at the same time. I juggle new inquiries and bookings with existing clients on a daily basis. 

If I’ve bumped your request for an Officiant  to the following month when you were trying to book with me, it was entirely due to my schedule for existing clients. I do not and will not book more than 15 new clients in Texas per month. Why? Because rotating clients awaiting dates take first priority. 

This new trend of Chaplains “notifying the inmate” rather than my client or myself requires me to call the Unit to reschedule when I’m already booked at another Unit on the date in question which I did but this situation would become a fiasco entirely due to the Chaplain. It would also require me to put on my Boss Boots to get Amanda married. Buckle up for yet another bumpy ride and why hiring an Officiant involves far more than the Officiant “bothering to show up” ya all. 

On June 18, 2019 at 9:07AM after calling Chaplain Jasper to explain that I couldn’t be in Tennessee Colony and Huntsville AT THE SAME TIME ON THE SAME DAY and requested that the Chaplain move my Ellis clients to the afternoon which would have given me time to move from Tennessee Colony to Huntsville within about two hours of moving from Coffield to Michael Unit to Ellis. 

Tennessee Colony is two hours from Ellis Unit. The Chaplain told that “an afternoon scheduling won’t work and you will need to move the date.” Ugh. I verbally changed the date to July 9th at 1PM on the phone with Chaplain Jasper and subsequently (as requested by him) also sent an email confirming July 9, 2019 at 1PM. It’s not unusual for me to confirm a date by email to a Unit. In fact, I prefer to do so. 

For those of you unaware of this, I log all phone calls, text messages and emails. I’m OCD. I don’t forget anybody and certainly don’t make mistakes regarding wedding day. Weddings are Life Events. These emails would prove important. Stay tuned. 

On July 9th at 7:48AM, an email from Chaplain Jasper regarding Amanda’s wedding a few hours later came in. Alarmed, I called the Unit and couldn’t locate Chaplain Jasper. What the? On wedding day? 

I also called Amanda who had left home hours ago to drive to Ellis Unit. I THEN DECIDED to drive to Ellis anyway. Why? Why not? This wedding was a confirmed date. Amanda had been planning this day for nearly a month. 

Amanda had also tried to buy her marriage license to but encountered dipshit clerks who didn’t know how to perform their jobs. Amanda had been through the ringer and I wasn’t about to let an email cancelling a confirmed date at Ellis ON WEDDING DAY have me throwing in the towel with my client on the road. In fact, to overcome the marriage license issue, Amanda was going to Huntsville to buy her license an hour prior to meeting me at Ellis. I had sent her the online link to Twogether In Texas. Luckily, Amanda had taken the course. 

For clients and readers unaware of the many “providers” of this course and how they aren’t correctly performing their role, I’m going to jump right in and elaborate as to why I lobbied the online option. First off, as a provider you are supposed to be teaching the 8 hour course not mailing the materials. Secondly, many of these “providers” are failing to provide the certificate which is why consumers are paying you in the first place. As a provider or instructor, this system wasn’t put in place to pad your pockets. It was put in place for premarital education. Because of the misuse of this program, the online option has been available for two years because folks like me argued the fact that providers were not instructing the course and instead selling materials they were provided for free to others. Take the online course. Skip the third party who isn’t teaching the course. What a racket! My Hodge Unit bride paid yet another “other officiant” and never received her certificate. Just go online. I will send you the link myself.  

Throughout my three hour drive to Huntsville, I checked my email. Nothing from Chaplain Jasper. I also checked on Amanda who had bought her marriage license with no issues in Walker County. 

I arrived thirty minutes early to Ellis Unit and returned calls while waiting on Amanda. I had no idea if my barnstorming theory of dressing up and showing up on wedding day would work but I knew this… Amanda had taken a day off that she wouldn’t be able to do again for some time and we needed to do everything possible to attempt to get married on July 9th. You will never get a yes unless you ask for it and we were about to do just that. 

At 12:30PM, Amanda parked beside me. She was also nervous about whether or not we could go ahead with the wedding. We both walked to the guard up in the birdcage to announce our arrival for a wedding. 

The assistant Warden arrived to tell us “I spoke with Chaplain Jasper yesterday and he said that he didn’t have any weddings on the schedule and because he’s not here, I have no paperwork.” 

Calmly and I cannot stress this enough, I elaborated on those emails. I was asked to go get my phone and hand it over to review said emails. Since I had responded to the 7:48AM email, I was also asked “why did you drive out here anyway?” I answered “Amanda left Eastland early this morning and was already on the road and in my opinion, we had nothing to lose since this was a confirmed date.” He was kind enough to consider why we went ahead and drove on. He was also confused as to why the Chaplain had “forgotten” about our wedding and yet managed to email us that “the wedding would be cancelled and the inmate would be advised of a rescheduling.” 

Amanda and I asked if he could try to locate the I60. We were in fact, asking a favor and since the Chaplain hadn’t bothered to tell anyone other than me in that email about the confirmed date, we were blessed by encountering someone who cared about our journey. 

Thankfully, this Warden located the paperwork and the wedding went on. If I had simply taken Chaplain Jasper’s brush off email, Amanda would have taken the day off and driven five hours to Huntsville for the hell of it. 

By being determined and having proof that there was obviously a wedding scheduled, we were truly blessed to find someone who helped us. The fact that I had documentation of those emails literally saved the day. 

God Bless that Warden. Amanda’s Husband was going through emotions himself since he was told he wasn’t getting married. He also knew that the Warden and the guard who took photos were the reason that he was getting married. There are truly good folks working at Prisons. I’ve met them.I’m in and out of Prisons everyday. I also “hear horror stories” from clients but there are good people at Units. 

There are people who care and there are people who understand. That Warden and that guard were two of those people. Leaving Ellis, I followed Amanda to the clerks office. You know, the clerk who was so nice issuing that license hours earlier. Again, stay tuned. We arrived at the clerks office and Amanda handed her the marriage license she had issued earlier. The clerk suddenly got an attitude and said “you can’t get married today there’s a waiting period.” What the? Was this lady kidding? She had processed the paperwork herself. She had also put the waiver on the back of the license. 

I said “she has a Twogether In Texas certificate waiving the waiting period.” The clerk THEN said “that ONLY discounts the license.” I said “the certificate discounts the license AND waives the waiting period.” This clerk needed a new job. She also needed a new attitude. But, naughty or nice, she wasn’t going to intimidate me. 

I’ve been with Twogether in Texas since 2009 and if you are a county clerk attempting to tell people that a certificate specifically put in place to BOTH discount the license AND waive the waiting period is incorrect, I AM happy to educate you and, I will. It’s your job to understand this program. 

A clerks job is to issue marriage licenses so it would make sense to understand your role as a county official and your responsibility to understand the process. 

After I had challenged this clerk to pull the paperwork for the marriage license that she had filed hours earlier, she FINALLY recorded the license. This clerk had also overcharged for a certified copy but after all the things Amanda went through to get that license, I also paid the fee of $37 for a $27 certified copy. I had my reasons for whipping out that bank card though so read on. 

I had asked this clerk for a price sheet since I knew damn well the fee for a certified marriage license was intentionally being inflated. “We don’t have cost or price sheets.” I was told this because she knew darn well that providing me proof on the spot of the cost discrepancy wouldn’t be in her best interest. I played along. I wanted Amanda to get that certified copy. 

I’m in and out of clerks office everyday and can assure you that EVERY county clerk has a price list. It isn’t one price for so and so for George and yet another price for Bobby. County Clerk costs are the same to everyone. 

I know all too well from years ago when dealing with county clerks refusing to issue same sex marriage licenses that the attitudes of certain clerks have not changed in Texas. 

Someone should be secret shopping county clerks and I’m not kidding. 

Let’s review why Twogether In Texas exists… House Bill 2685 during the 2007 legislative session, increases the fee for a marriage license from $30 to $60.00. It also allows couples who complete an eight-hour premarital education course to waive paying the $60 of their marriage license fee, and they will not have to wait 72 hours to get married. Couples who complete a course will receive a certificate that is good for one year. The information can be found in the Texas Administrative Code 2.204 effective September 1. 2008. 

If you want more information from the TEXAS FAMILY CODE on marriage licenses you may access that web site and click on “The Marriage Relationship Chapter 2”. This may answer any questions in more detail about the requirements for the marriage license.

On Walker County’s OWN WEBSITE this information can be found and yet the clerk tried to tell Amanda “you can’t be married today as I just issued the license.” The same license WITH A WAIVER on the back of it. The same license that requires the Twogether certificate to obtain the discount and the waiver the clerk argued “hadn’t been filled out.” I could not believe that this clerk was pointing out something that she herself had failed to complete BUT she was. 

You know, the same license she had issued a few hours earlier. Come on County Clerks with attitude. Get off your high horse and off that personal phone call and start paying attention to your job and the general public. 

What if I HADN’T joined Amanda to file her marriage license at the clerks office? Thankfully, neither I or Amanda were going to be bullied by this clerk who FIRST refused to file the marriage license then also decided to upcharge the fee for a certified license copy to the price of an Informal Marriage just because she thought she could. 

When people tell me “I can do what you do. Can you teach me how?” They literally have no real idea what it actually takes to do my job and the majority of the time they wouldn’t put forth the effort either. I’m driven, determined, passionate and perseverant. I also encounter obstacles on a regular basis. From a CLM status to a lost I60 to an idiotic clerk to an unorganized Chaplain and more, prison weddings can be as chaotic as large traditional events and they are. 

Back to the Huntsville clerk- I went ahead and charged the transaction for a certified license with my Frost Bank card specifically to document the upcharged fee. You know the inflated cost of an Informal Marriage License versus the actual cost of a Certified Marriage License. 

NOW let’s review the posted fee for a certified copy. Don’t be shocked because I was WILLING to pay this upcharge put upon us SOLELY because I challenged this clerk regarding the waiting period waiver and validity of the Twogether in Texas certificate pertaining to Amanda’s license. 

Ten dollars might sound insignificant until you realize that Amanda and I were effectively challenged on getting that license filed AT ALL for twenty minutes. Paying an upcharge AFTER this confrontation was effectively the icing on the cake at that courthouse. 

When it comes to legal issues, especially pertaining to marriage law, I’m educated and well versed and I’m also not easily intimidated. I was well aware of the ACTUAL FEE for a certified marriage copy too. I bit my tongue though as not to upset Amanda. Frankly, it was already upsetting to have a clerk telling you she wouldn’t file and much record the license “due to the waiting period.” Nothing I do is easy. Sure, others think it looks easy. It isn’t. I’m not successful because I’m lucky. I’m successful because I’m perseverant, educated and determined. There’s a difference. I don’t have an easy button. I have a get it done button. 

An Informal Marriage License CANNOT have an Absent Party. An Informal Marriage License doesn’t look like a traditional marriage license either. These two documents are remarkably different. The circumstances and use for both documents are also different. The cost is different. They are two entirely different things but, this clerk decided to upcharge the fee for a certified copy of a marriage license to an Informal Marriage License because SHE THOUGHT Amanda wouldn’t notice and I wouldn’t either. 

The clerk and her coworker might’ve assumed that they were both “getting even” for being challenged about that waiting period waiver. Perhaps they even snickered regarding their private joke. I’ve spent years in clerks offices. I’ve met nice ones and I’ve also met naughty ones who are opinionated about same sex Marriage AND inmates marrying. 

My Texas Twins Events clients remember all too well Kat and Tiffany McKay the same sex couple who couldn’t get a marriage license from Parker County because the clerk “had religious reasons for not issuing one.” My Team and our friends in the LBGT community picketed the courthouse and I also married Kat and Tiffany who were the basis of a news story titled “the first same sex couple issued a marriage license in Parker County marry.” The story in the Parker County Democrat detailed how difficult it was to obtain that marriage license. The story touched upon “Wendy and her team helping them get married” in the same story. Kat and Tiffany contacted me after hearing about Lisa and Terry Williams wedding. They had no flowers, they had no photographers. They had no Officiant. My ENTIRE TEAM gifted them their wedding. I’m that Wendy. I’m that committed. My entire family made their Dream Event a reality. 

The Parker County Clerk had an attitude too but, I have thousands of friends in the LBGT community and I had also found the time to silently protest with sandwich boards the ability for a same sex couple to purchase a marriage license. 

Jeff Mosier had reported in the Dallas Morning News since I was openly LBGT friendly while other vendors were hiding their affiliation in the closet. The story about my site crashing on the day of the Supreme Court ruling was big news but what Jeff didn’t report was how difficult it actually was for my clients to purchase a marriage license. Many Texas clerks refused to issue marriage licenses.

It was so difficult for our clients to find a LBGT friendly clerk to buy a marriage license from that my entire family literally “split up to accompany couples intimidated about the simple process of purchasing a marriage license” to courthouses throughout Texas for not days but WEEKS. 

Seventy percent of my bookings on the day of the Supreme Court ruling a day of much celebration for same sex couples wishing to marry were effectively moved because my clients couldn’t find clerks to issue their marriage licenses. 

So, if you are wondering “why does Wendy Wortham KNOW so much about county clerks?” Here’s your answer- I’ve been in so many courthouses over the years holding my clients hands that it would make your head swim. I’ve met a mixed bag of nuts at clerks offices. I’ve encountered opinionated clerks, discriminatory clerks, mean clerks, nice clerks, arrogant clerks and clerks who don’t believe in same sex marriage OR inmate marriage either.  

You REALLY should have followed up on that story Jeff. The real story was that the hundreds of couples who had been forced to have unification ceremonies rather than marriages who finally thought the ability to marry would be cut and dry were instead impeded in the ability to legally marry due entirely to clerks refusing to issue them a marriage license. 

I’m not shy or a wallflower. But, my dedicated readers already know this. Kat and Tiffany had a legal right to marry. The clerk wanted to grandstand and set an example. During that window of the Supreme Court ruling, I had clients all over Texas requesting my team accompany them to buy their license due to the intimidation they faced. We split up and covered courthouses far and wide to get our clients the marriage licenses numerous Texas clerks refused to issue. True story. 

The Huntsville clerk had actually CHARGED AMANDA for a Declaration of an Informal Marriage RATHER than a Certified Marriage License. What is the difference you might ask? I’m happy to elaborate. 

An Informal Marriage is one where BOTH parties are present and it’s wholly, entirely and completely different from a certified copy of a marriage license too. Obviously, the groom or both parties WERE NOT PRESENT. 

Let’s review Informal Vs Formal Marriage- Section 2.401 of the Texas Family Code establishes the requirements for an informal marriage, without obtaining a marriage license or having a marriage ceremony. One of the ways an informal marriage is established is by registering a duly executed declaration and oath with the county of their residence. Both parties must be present. Rather than buying a traditional or formal license, the couple swear an oath and file an Informal Marriage License. 

Amanda and I left the clerks office and the two idiots working there who attempted to screw up wedding day for Amanda. They are out there. You might just encounter a few of these types of people yourself at the clerks office BUT KNOW THIS- I know marriage law. I am not intimidated and I don’t care how ugly a county clerk is willing to get. I saw plenty of ugliness during a time when same sex couples who wanted to marry couldn’t EVEN AFTER the Supreme Court gave them the right to do so. County clerks impeded the process. Clerks paid to issue marriage licenses who refused to do so. 

I’ve seen too much sadness because a county clerk thought they were God. If I have an attitude, rest assured that I know there are clerks with attitude. I’ve seen them AND I’ve met them. 

If the Huntsville clerk had refused to record the marriage license, I would’ve been on the phone so fast to complain about it you have no idea. She expected us to leave and she underestimated both Amanda and I because we were not leaving without getting what we came for and that was recording the license AND getting a certified copy to mail to inmate records at Ellis. 

That clerk was WAY out of line. I don’t care where you work or who you are, if you think you are God and can do whatever you want, you also leave a paper trail and if you don’t, I’m happy to create one for you just like I did by buying that certified copy in Huntsville. I reported that clerk. 

For every other person going to Walker County planning to marry an inmate, you’re welcome. Maybe this lady “doesn’t think inmates should marry” or that she simply enjoys upsetting folks on wedding day but either way, I can assure you she was surprised to get a phone call about her confusion regarding Twogether in Texas and the fee discrepancy between an Informal Marriage Declaration and a Certified Marriage License Copy. 

My Ferguson Unit bride, Savannah had sent me a text on July 4th. Her truck had been stolen and she needed a ride from Dallas to Ferguson. I picked her up at 9:45AM on July 10, 2019. Together, we drove to the Unit and enjoyed a day full of fun conversation. 

I had packed several veils, bouquets and tiaras as well as a kimono I had sent photos of to Savanah. She loved the kimono and I gifted it to her as a wedding gift. We stopped a few miles from Ferguson for photos. I wanted to incorporate one of my latest veils into her photos. The red shoes were perfect for my kimono. Finding areas near Units for photos occasionally has me in fairly remote areas.While applying some hand location just outside the Unit, Savannah spilled a bit on her blouse but I’m a mom and I have EVERYTHING in my SUV including wet wipes. We cleaned up and adjusted makeup for a few more photos before drivin into the parking lot. I think of everything so you don’t have to. We were a few minutes early and walking up to the birds nest saw a beautiful bride waiting on her Officiant. 

I’m going to go over this again because this “particular Officiant is ALWAYS LATE!” Lacy from Wife and Inmate Connection and I have met up at Allred, Coffield and now Ferguson. My clients and I waited over thirty minutes at Allred because as usual Lacey was late AGAIN. The guards were less than friendly to Lacey’s client based on her tardiness as well. Sadly, the client who showed up on time and was forced to wait outside was being punished for her Officiants unprofessionalism. Left alone in the sun worried her Officiant wouldn’t show up after everything she had gone through to finally get to her wedding day only to be forced to wait alone infuriated me and my client, Savannah. We were angry for that other bride and the position Lacey had left her in. 

At Ferguson Unit, the guard first addressed the hemline of Lacey’s clients dress BEFORE telling her that her wedding would be cancelled if Lacey didn’t show up. How would you feel if you were that lady? You paid someone for a service. You trusted them. On wedding day you didn’t know if they would show up or not and the guard is singling you out because you are alone. Think about it. 

Being late with a bride waiting in the sun and wondering if you are going to bother to show up is the most unprofessional shit that I’ve ever heard of. The bride was advised by the guard “we have a 30 minute policy. If she doesn’t show up your wedding will be cancelled.” The poor bride nearly started crying AFTER being forced to pull down her hemline or change clothes from the guard. 

What kind of stupid idiot Officiant and I use THAT TERM LOOSELY puts a client who has entrusted her through this kind of concern ON THEIR WEDDING DAY?! 

I CANNOT stress this enough… HIRE someone you can trust. Weddings ARE LIFE EVENTS regardless of where they take place.

Since it was 1PM and the bride was scheduled at 1PM with NO Officiant on site, Savannah and I were escorted in ahead while that poor lady ran to her car to call Lacy. 

Ferguson will not allow you to wait inside. You must enter WITH YOUR OFFICIANT. Sadly, that poor bride was forced to wait on the hot pavement as Savannah and I were escorted into the Unit. 

Savannah and I worried that poor lady who had driven hours and probably spent weeks finding the perfect dress was left standing outside wondering if Lacy would bother to show up? In fact, I told the guard “if her Officiant DOESN’T show up, I will marry her myself.” I meant it. We were scheduled at 1:30PM the other bride was scheduled at 1PM. 

The other brides fiancée watched my marry my clients while his bride waited in the blazing Texas sun on Lacey. 

The guard also used a flash that I wished she hadn’t causing red eyes on all of the photos. The guard also checked her watch mid ceremony. I have 20 minutes for my Ceremonies and don’t like to be rushed. 

My clients have waited months to get married. The guard “looking at her watch” not only bothered me but also my clients so I addressed “the elephant in the room” by advising the guard “I time my Wedding Ceremonies and have specifically  incorporated 8-10 minutes for my clients today in order to read their own vows. I know exactly how much time I have and stay well within the guidelines. I’m not going to rush this ceremony.” I meant it. 

If you are a guard that doesn’t know or care what the person marrying an inmate has gone through to get there, I will enlighten you. They’ve jumped through hoops. They’ve filed paperwork. They’ve patiently waited. A few encountered idiotic county clerks trying to buy their marriage license. The LAST THING I will allow is for my clients to be rushed through their marriage ceremony. I operate on a timeline well within my allotment for a ceremony inside the Unit. 

I am a professional but, if you want to tap your watch or attempt to cue me mid ceremony, I am more than happy to enlighten you on my timeline. My timeline is twenty five minutes not five. 

My client and I have just driven 3 hours to the Unit. My client and I have a 3 hour drive back and we are going to enjoy our 20 minute ceremony and wait 3-5 minutes for our photos to print. Thank you very much for your patience and see you next time. I posed my new couple in various shots to capture a wide variety of photos. Why? Because if I don’t, all of your photos will be the same pose that’s why. In an attempt to fix our eyes, I also edited these Unit photos to black and white. At 1:24PM, Lacy finally showed up just as we were leaving and minutes before the brides wedding was cancelled because Lacy apparently doesn’t care about creating stress on wedding day for a client. 

Good Lord, if you are an Officiant, get your shit together! It’s a LIFE EVENT. If you can’t perform the function you’ve been retained to perform, be honest and let your client know firsthand. Don’t leave them standing around wondering WHERE YOU ARE ON WEDDING DAY. 

A wedding day that someone waited weeks or months to finally have. A day very important to them. A day they drove hours to a Unit for. A day they took off work for. Put yourself in your Clients position. Wake up. This is a very important day to your client. They trusted you to be there and yet again you were late. They carefully dressed and applied their makeup. They excitedly drove to the unit. Then they miserably waited on you with a guard telling them their wedding would be cancelled if you didn’t show up. Good Lord do you have any idea what you are doing to the people who trusted you? Get it together or get out of this business. Lacey, you and your snarl at Units while dragging in late again are as miserable to my clients and I as they are to yours. Get an alarm clock. Buy a watch. Answer your phone. 

By the way, of you are reading this “late again Lacey,” the next time my staff or my clients and I are forced to wait on you in order to enter the Unit for the wedding they’ve waited months to have, I’m going to ask to speak to the Warden and complain about it. Waiting for you to fly your broom into a prison parking lot with your anxious client wondering why you won’t answer their calls or if their wedding will be cancelled along with my clients and my staff or myself being forced to wait on you to bother showing up stomping your way into the Unit while wearing your frown is the LAST THING ANY OF US NEED ON WEDDING DAY. Being forced to wait on you is a miserable experience for everyone concerned including the Unit itself. Quite frankly, why certain Units force everyone to wait on the “other Officiant” to arrive I have no idea but, your tardiness and your attitude are aggravating and intolerable. 

A few months ago, my Allred client had to get back to work that day and sitting in the clearing area watching your frazzled client wonder IF YOU were going to bother showing up was unsettling to a three of us Lacey. 

My client was also late returning to work BECAUSE you were late AS USUAL Lacey. Your consistent tardiness on wedding day is shocking and saddening. If you worked for anyone else, you would have been fired. Your clients have waited weeks and sometimes months to marry. Your Ferguson client yesterday was forced to fan herself with her marriage license in the sun with over a hundred degree temperatures on sweltering pavement in heels. 

What bride looks forward to being forced to wait and wonder if their Officiant will show up standing in the sun wearing a beautiful chiffon dress with her hair and makeup melting? Get it together and take some degree of consideration into your clients journey. Or, better yet, let them hire someone who cares about their journey!

Not only I but also my clients are sick and tired of “waiting on Lacy” to arrive late and unfriendly or unapologetic to her client or anyone else for that matter. At Coffield, she stomped out after the wedding and left her bewildered client waiting on wedding photos after the same client had been detained because she had a ring box that wouldn’t clear the Unit. As usual, I had jumped in to advise her to leave the box at the machine. 

NO ONE should be walking in alone on wedding day. The role of an Officiant is all encompassing. What it ISN’T is “bothering to show up late.” If you are one of those “other Officiants” for God’s sakes buy a watch and make your client and THEIR DAY a PRIORITY!

I’m at several Units over the next 6 months and THRILLED to be seeing my previous clients at their Vow Renewals. I’m scheduled the next five years with amazing clients I’ve married at Units and just as excited as you are that we are planning a celebration of resilience and endurance of love long after lock up…  

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TDCJ Weddings- Questions, Comments, Concerns & County Clerks…

Daily I field calls texts and emails pertaining to inmate marriages. Several of these calls are from different states. Over the weekend, a lady from Georgia contacted me regarding marrying her. 

Georgia is more than a “jog” for me from Texas and due to the distance, I chose to educate her regarding policy and procedure before telling her I didn’t know of anyone conducting prison weddings in Georgia but, if after understanding the process, she needed an Officiant, when we have out of state requests, we can stack an inmate wedding. Let’s review stacking. It’s essential for me due to distances. Many states only allow prison weddings two days a year. In Texas, prison weddings occur two days a month. Because of the scheduling, other states are stacked. 

The last thing I would do is to refer someone to a stranger. A person unaware of how to perform a complicated task such as a prison wedding. If you make a mistake at a prison wedding, you might find yourself there. There are no mistakes at prison weddings and shouldn’t be anywhere else but, everyone assumes they can be an Officiant these days. They can’t. 

Finding a qualified Officiant to conduct your prison ceremony requires far more than the Officiant bothering to show up. 

Today’s blog will revisit the role of an Officiant inside or outside the walls of a penitentiary.

The role of an Officiant is a very serious role. I should know because each and every time someone came to me AFTER HIRING THE WRONG OFFICIANT, I solved their problem of entrusting something as serious as a marriage to someone else unaware of the seriousness. 

There is also some confusion regarding a name change after marriage and a court filing for a name change. These are two completely different things ya all. Marriage requires no court appearance (or filing fee) in order to change your name. 

I will use an example to better describe changing your name NOT pertaining to a marriage or divorce. In July, I’m meeting a client in court to legally change her name. The reason for this is she was a victim of domestic abuse and changing her name is essential to protecting her identity. This is a rare occurrence but, it happens across the U.S. for other reasons too. 

Sometimes adults wish to change their name simply because they don’t like it or for other reasons. Aside from marriage or a divorce, name change petitions are relatively rare. 

The option of “taking on your spouses name” is up to the couple. Meaning, you are not required to change your name due to marriage. The “flip side” to that coin is divorce. After a divorce, you can either keep your previous name or return to your maiden name during the divorce proceeding. 

Again, changing your name is optional and a personal decision left up to the party. If you have children, you are (most likely) going to keep your former married name for convenience but aren’t obligated to do so. Your divorce decree will outline your desire to keep OR change your name. 

The (signed and filed) marriage license gives you an effective “window” to do a name change by simply taking your signed and recorded license to the DMV first then to SS. 

An original (unsigned by an Officiant) marriage license is valid for 90 days. Once signed, the license MUST be filed within 30 days. Failure of a filing in Texas is a crime. 

If you are an Officiant in or outside of a prison in Texas, each state within the U.S. has laws pertaining to officiating a marriage ceremony. 

In Texas, you need to educate yourself to the Family Code, your role and responsibly and the penalties for FAILURE to follow procedure and protocol. From the clerk to the Officiant to the filing, there is far more involved in the process of marriage. After all, divorce is difficult and expensive. 

A divorce is required to dissolve a marriage. The difference is that a divorce often requires attorneys. In most cases, couples rarely have ANY legal advice prior to marrying including the Oath taken to purchase a marriage license. 

Let’s go over the “Oath.” There should be a Miranda for people who have no idea that falsifying a marriage license application is a felony. But, it is. What you are swearing to is that all of the information you have provided is true and correct. If it isn’t, you are falsifying a government document. 

Most of you don’t even recall taking an Oath but, I can assure you that you did. 
“What if my loved one wasn’t present when buying the marriage license?” They didn’t take an Oath. Ahhh, but they did. The Absent Party signed an Oath on the Absentee Affidavit. The person present swore out a verbal Oath. 

Both parties took an Oath. See the attached Absentee Affidavit. The bottom of this form contains an Oath by the Applicant. 

“I’m consistently shocked and subsequently, horrified that people think the role of an Officiant is to show up and sign a license.” It isn’t. It is by far more and if you are unaware of this, do the couple a favor and yourself a favor and don’t volunteer to do something you are incapable of understanding how to do. You, the Officiant, are expected to file the license and fail to do so, you face criminal charges in Texas for failing to do so. Don’t be surprised. The role of an Officiant is a serious one. 

Sec. 2.206. RETURN OF LICENSE; PENALTY. (a) The person who conducts a marriage ceremony shall record on the license the date on which and the county in which the ceremony is performed and the person’s name, subscribe the license, and return the license to the county clerk who issued it not later than the 30th day after the date the ceremony is conducted.
(b) A person who fails to comply with this section commits an offense. An offense under this section is a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of not less than $200 and not more than $500.

Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, Sec. 1, eff. April 17, 1997.
For people unaware of the criminal and civil penalties for “not knowing what you are doing,” I will continue to elaborate.

Sec. 2.207. MARRIAGE CONDUCTED AFTER LICENSE EXPIRED; PENALTY. (a) A person who is to conduct a marriage ceremony shall determine whether the license has expired from the county clerk’s endorsement on the license.
(b) A person who conducts a marriage ceremony after the marriage license has expired commits an offense. An offense under this section is a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of not less than $200 and not more than $500.

Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, Sec. 1, eff. April 17, 1997.
Sec. 2.208. RECORDING AND DELIVERY OF LICENSE. (a) The county clerk shall record a returned marriage license and mail the license to the address indicated on the application.
(b) On the application form the county clerk shall record:

(1) the date of the marriage ceremony;

(2) the county in which the ceremony was conducted; and

(3) the name of the person who conducted the ceremony.

Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, Sec. 1, eff. April 17, 1997.

Let’s review a certified marriage license. It is a legal copy of of the recorded and signed original marriage license. Why do you need one? Generally, for insurance purposes or other legal reasons. These certified copies are relatively inexpensive. You will buy them at the same clerks office that you purchased your marriage license at. 

There also appears to be some confusion regarding Absent Applicants. In general, BOTH parties appear at the clerks office. Because active military members have been using Absentee Applications for years, the new use pertaining to inmate marriages might very well confuse smaller clerks and sub county courthouses. 

Time and time again, one of my clients have been told by a clerk that “Absentee Affidavits are ONLY for service members” “obviously isn’t up to date regarding the use of these Affidavits for inmate marriages.” 

However, rather than attempting to educate Texas county clerks or other state based clerks who are unaware of how to perform their jobs how to, I send my clients to a clerk in a larger city instead. 

Knowing how to solve problems is essential for Prison Wedding Planning. Knowing procedure is critical to an Officiant. 
One of my Crain Unit clients was so confused by the Coryell County Clerks Office that he told me “they keep sending it back.” Alarmed, I asked “sending what back?” 

My client had been mailing in the paperwork rather than appearing in person WITH the paperwork. I was really confused as to why he was mailing the paperwork to purchase the license after I had advised him of the process and the necessity to appear in person. Why was my groom confused? The clerks office. They consistently told him to mail in the paperwork. I can’t stress this enough ya all. Smaller clerk offices are almost always unfamiliar with inmate marriage.

Since it was easier to meet him two hours from my location in order to walk him through buying marriage license myself in Coryell County, I did. Unlike the clerk, I understood the process and held my clients hand through applying for and subsequently buying his marriage license.  

I’ve met several clients over the years at clerks offices to walk them through the process of obtaining their marriage license. 
There CANNOT BE TWO ABSENT APPLICANTS. One person must appear to swear out the Oath and fill out the marriage license application. You must also have a current and valid ID. 

You also cannot purchase an unsigned original marriage license by mail. What you can do is order a filed and recorded marriage license. There is also some confusion regarding this. But, you must fill out a marriage application, show ID and swear an Oath which obviously cannot be done by mail. Hence, you or at least one of you are required to appear in person at the clerks office. 

The original marriage license application and procedure require at least one party present. 

The option to either pick up your (filed and recorded) marriage license at the clerks office or to have it mailed to you is available in certain counties within Texas.  
Tarrant County mails filed licenses back to couples. 

Please double check the address. If you give an incorrect address, a Duplicate License will not look like the original. 
In certain cases, the original sent to the wrong address may eventually show up but, it’s not a given. 

I’ve also had questions regarding Marriage Fraud and Marriage Laws. I’m well versed on both. I’ve also taught Marriage Fraud classes. There isn’t anything I don’t know about my job. I’m well versed and knowledgeable. 

However, for these other folks aka other Officiants  “who decided that they could perform the task of officiating” contacting myself or my staff to “walk them through how to perform a wedding ceremony,” I’ve got a wake up call for you. We are booked two years out. Our clients are our priority. We don’t have the time to teach you how to perform a function that requires far more than a phone call. No one does. 

What couples need to know when hiring an Officiant is that your Officiant is educated pertaining to laws associated with marriage license protocol. 
What does this mean? I will give you a few examples. Over the years, I’ve had hysterical couples call me because “our neighbor performed our marriage and we aren’t actually married.” 
Or, “my uncle went online and didn’t know he had to file the license and we aren’t married.” 
Or, “we went to another country and thought we were married. My husband died and I’m not legally married.” In that situation particularly, the bride lost ALL assets in probate court. Why? She wasn’t married. She also called me because like many others, she had heard I help people. Her story was shocking. It also infuriated me. She was a victim. I was her advocate. I helped locate an attorney and encouraged her to file suit against the Officiant. She subsequently, also won her lawsuit based on emotional and economic damages against the Officiant. 

Let’s keep going here. I could write a book. “The Officiant made a mistake on our marriage license and the clerks office wants them to file an Amended license but they refuse to respond to our phone calls.” 

If you are an Officiant who has no idea how to perform the function of marrying a couple and much less how to carry out the role, STOP. JUST STOP. Don’t call me to solve YOUR problems. You need legal advice. Call an attorney because if you’ve made an error, you are expected to correct it. Not me. I don’t even know you. I’m juggling my own clients with the knowledge and professionalism they deserve. 

Last year, someone called me telling me “I’ve decided to become an Officiant. I need your advice.” Whoa Nelly! YOU have decided to become an Officiant and need MY ADVICE? 

My advice is to educate yourself. After all, you are asking me to create competition that doesn’t exist for myself and my staff at my expense of time that I don’t have to educate someone else. 

Don’t assume that by “going online that conducting a ceremony is easy.” It isn’t. It’s complicated and outlined in Family Law for a reason. The reason is that it’s a legal process. Five minutes online becoming ordained isn’t going to educate you pertaining to a serious role you have chosen to play. You know, your PART in officiating a wedding. 

These people AKA “other Officiants” think that signing a legal document “isn’t a big deal.” However, contacting me to ask “what is an Amended Petition? How do you file a Duplicate Copy of a marriage license? Can you help me?” No. You need to help yourself buddy. You should also stop performing marriage ceremonies. Obviously, you aren’t qualified and much less educated to the process. 

For all the folks thinking they are an educated or even knowledgeable Officiant and assuming that it’s an easy job,” heads up people, if you don’t realize that screwing up a marriage license has legal ramifications, you shouldn’t be doing it. There are also criminal liabilities. That’s right. Marriage Fraud is a felony. 

If you are part of a Marriage Fraud case, no one is going to accept that you didn’t know what you were doing as an adequate defense. 

I’ve seen “other Officiants” sued AND criminally prosecuted over mistakes. It will happen again since people assume that “it’s so easy ANYONE can do it.” 

I’m also well aware of “other Officiants” having their privilege of officiating a wedding rescinded due to more than one error. Held accountable for an error? What do mean Wendy? First off, you have just ruined someone’s wedding by not knowing what you are doing and secondly if you make a mistake, you are civilly and criminally held accountable. 

Ignorance isn’t an adequate defense of the law. 

After all, you WERE the “other Officiant.” I’m the clean up crew to your mistakes. You know the person couples hired to become LEGALLY MARRIED. Over and over again, I’ve been the SECOND OFFICIANT. You know, the person who knew what they were doing! The person the couple came to upon realizing and recognizing that they had initially trusted the WRONG PERSON. 

The number of times I’ve remarried someone who thought they were already married would shock you. 

An Officiant SHOULD BE EDUCATED TO ANY AND ALL PROCEDURES. If you aren’t, it isn’t a job you should be conducting. 
I saw a hilarious comment on TIFA from someone saying “I have a loved one incarcerated. Because of this, I’m familiar with the process of inmate marriages.” 

Really? Visiting an inmate and marrying an Inmate are TWO COMPLETELY different things. Can you assist your client in filing an appeal for revoked visitation? Can you assist your client in remedying a CLM status? Do you know how to walk a client through a prison wedding planning process and answer their concerns and much less address them pertaining to the Administrative Directive with knowledge that they can comprehend? 

This statement regarding visitation and inmate marriage was so outrageous that I found myself wondering why loved ones of inmates didn’t respond to the post by saying “I have an inmate incarcerated and I have no idea of the process of marrying one.”

Visiting an inmate and conducting a legal marriage within a prison is complicated. There are rules and procedures. There are also unexpected hurdles. You need someone educated and well versed on all of the above. Visiting a prison and inmate have nothing to do with marrying an inmate. These are two wholly separate instances. 

What you don’t need is someone “winging it.” There are a lot of them out there. This isn’t a job function you play by ear or accomplish by simply showing up on wedding day. 

“Just because a person goes to the DOCTOR, doesn’t make them a PHYSICIAN.” Experience MATTERS, That’s WHY you HIRE a PROFESSIONAL in the FIRST place. 

I hope this clarifies your questions and for those simply wanting to change their name without marriage marriage being a factor, I’m including this information- When you file your name change petition, you’ll have to pay a filing fee, which varies depending upon what county you are in. Generally the cost to change your namein Texas ranges from $250 to $350. Once you’ve filed your name change petition, a date for the court hearing will be set.