My son and my nieces would tell you “we have two moms” and, they would mean it. Cindy and I have been tag teaming our adult children and grandchildren for thirty four years now. Does the “peanut gallery of people” compromising our family appreciate the luxury of two moms and two MiMi’s? Not always. In fact, last night, my daughter in law had a fit because “you posted that we were expecting before I did on FB? What were you thinking?” Okay, here’s what I was thinking… I was thinking that surely my son and his wife had already shared this news to be honest with you and I was planning a baby shower for them but, in this family, someone is always being accused of overstepping their bounds around here.
This “incident” carried over to dinner with my husband last night. While advising Matthew that Cindy and I had planned to fly to NY for two days of filming, I “squeezed” the FB post into the conversation. My husband who is all too aware that Cindy and I are the “bank” for our adult children and grandchildren quickly took over the conversation by interjecting “who is going to be buying everything? You and Cindy assume that Steve and I have no idea how much money you two spend on your adult children and grandchildren but I’ve got news for you, we have a few clues. Maddy has never worn the same outfit twice. The twins haven’t either. Steve and I sit back and watch you two enable everyone while wondering when you plan to push these birds out of the nest.”
In defense of Cindy or I being “enablers,” it should be noted that we are the mothers we never had. The grandmothers we never knew. Are we overdoing it? Maybe. But we didn’t want our adult children of grandchildren “going without.” Matthew and Steve don’t have any children or grandchildren of their own. What they DO HAVE are two meddling wives and mothers who “stepped it up a notch” being MiMi’s to Maryssa, Makenna and Madyson. Are we “too involved?” Absolutely.
Matthew has had a helluva time with the rain this year slowing down the homebuilding process. He had spent yesterday viewing lots and trying to “come up with Anniversary ideas for me.” I don’t need an anniversary celebration. Hell, for fifteen years neither of us knew the actual date of our wedding until two years ago when I requested a copy of our marriage license. True story. Matthew thought it was September 23rd Wendy thought it was September 15th.
Back to the FB post that my daughter in law, son, nieces and twin grandnieces thought was “out of line.” Leigh Ann claims Cindy and I announced her pregnancy before she did. I don’t remember doing this but, maybe we did. What is everyone waiting on anyhow? Christmas?
My husband thinks I’m a control freak. Cindy’s husband thinks she is a meddler. Are we too involved with our adult children? After all, Cindy and I work seven days a week. How involved can we be when we are out on the road? Humph.
Today is my daughter in law’s birthday. As usual, Cindy and I have planned to surprise her with gifts at work then take our families to dinner Monday because I’m working all weekend and everyday next week. Do I mention the now deleted FB announcement? I’m on the fence here.
Today, I’m meeting the couple who may or may not be getting married. Why? Because the groom had an affair. The bride found out from grabbing his cell phone while he was in the restroom. The bride had planned to read these sext messages at the altar. I suggested not doing this in front of families and friends. I also suggested counseling. Will this wedding happen? I have no idea.
People are unpredictable. Our adult children and even our grandchildren are unpredictable. Clients are unpredictabile. Weddings are a wild ride. Life is a circus.
My son and I argue frequently about Stephanie’s pregnancy. Robbie doesn’t understand the changes his wife is going through. Prior to the FB post, I had told my son “your wife needs attention and support.” Did I plan on redirecting the attention to myself regarding announcing their pregnancy? No but I stand accused. Inlaws and Outlaws. In-laws are the wonderful additions to your life marriage brings. Outlaws are the in-laws perpetually stirring the chili.
I’m not a monster in law, I’m a magician trying to solve everyone else’s problems and patch my family full of fighting in-laws together. It’s a tough job but I’m a boss lady Hellbent on getting the job done in Fort Worth, Texas.
Quite frankly, juggling work and my family isn’t for the meek or the weak. I may be unfiltered but, I’m also a realist, the go to gal and the mom that gets things done.
Leigh Ann and her mother in law SHOULD have a fantastic relationship but they don’t. Why? Because Leigh Ann thinks that Janet is “too involved.” Too involved from Florida? What the?
My niece, Stephaney thinks that her relationship with my son was lost when he married Stephanie.
Getting my family to “get along” is an ongoing escapade. For two years after filming our television pilot, Pawning Planners, Robert and his wife, Stephanie traveled with me to “traditional” events. An event in Dallas changed things. Stephanie had too many photos on her SD card from a weekend of weddings. Robert was trying to delete photos from the previous weekend and inadvertently deleted photos from the event we were on site at. A loud argument in front of 200 guests ensued between them. I sent my son and his wife to their suv “until they could cool off or apologize.”
The following weekend, I took Leigh Ann to handle photography. The “switch” was due to my son and his wife arguing on location.
Leigh Ann is now in California. Cindy handles photography. Robert and Stephanie book their own clients and I’m a monster in law? This is going to be a long weekend…