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“JUST because you READ the BOOK, doesn’t MEAN, you UNDERSTOOD the INSTRUCTIONS, experience MATTERS”

In a world full of fluff, there are several “fake it hoping to make it” folks who think padding their resume or “fluffing their experience” thinking this sham won’t be noticed or revealed. They lack not only experience but more importantly ethics. 

People who lie or fabricate to “fluff up” their background are not only insecure but also unethical. EXPERIENCE MATTERS. 

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I had hoped to find an experienced salesperson only to realize that I knew more about the product I was planning to buy than the salesperson did. Unlike the salesperson, I educated myself. 

I’m the type of person who thrives on transparency. I hate smoke and mirrors and phonies. I’ve met many non transparent people throughout my life and can assure you that transparency wasn’t their strong suit.

Like anyone else, I have noticed over the past year that there are a large number of people who have recently been “saying” or “advertising” that they perform prison weddings who either haven’t actually performed a ceremony or have only performed 1 or 2 if any prison weddings.

Last week while corresponding with someone from TIFA, I was told that so and so had performed weddings at Roach Unit. I knew this to be grossly false and advised her of how I knew. The person she was talking about I married myself. The person she was talking about had only performed four weddings in the past year at Allred. The person she was talking about was deliberately lying about marrying anyone at Roach. Don’t pretend to have done something you haven’t. This is a trust based industry. Don’t “fluff up” experience you don’t have! 

For years now, people have contacted me after learning the person they had hired lied to them and wasn’t certified or approved to walk into the Unit. Before you pay someone, verify their credentials. I can’t stress this enough. 

I’m frequently shocked by the number of people claiming to be experienced in this industry claiming to be experts. Lol you fell into performing one Prison wedding and and NOW you’re an EXPERT? Come on. 

Experts have a history. Experts have experience. Experts are seasoned. Experts are educated. Walking into one Unit doesn’t make you an expert. Snap out of it. I’ve walked into hundreds of Units. Hundreds of times. I’m the only Prison Officiant who has not only the clients but also the stamina to perform up to 8 weddings in one day in three cities at 3 Units.

An even larger number of people who don’t know or understand the prison planning process, the rules or how to assist you if there happens to be an unexpected problem during the planning process show their lack of knowledge when a problem pops up by calling me. Don’t bite off what you can’t chew. If you don’t know what you are doing, do everyone a favor and don’t fake the experience or knowledge you don’t have while dropping a dime on me. I’m busy.

“Your MORALS, are LIKE a GOOD set of TIRES, because EVERYTHING you HAVE, is RIDING on THEM.

If you are “trying to get in the Prison Wedding Business” solely for financial gain, here’s a heads up kids, the people you are attempting to market are single income households. Snap out of it. These families have limited income and resources. 

A few people “trying to break into this business” have even had the audacity to contact me (at THEIR convenience) to ask me to train them to do my job. 

A job that they have no idea how to perform AND think ANYONE can do. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist? Short answer? I don’t and I won’t. I care about my clients and their journey. They aren’t just clients they are my friends.

For all of the folks “saying” they perform Prison Weddings out there here’s a great question for you fakers “WHERE ARE YOUR CLIENTS?” How about “WHERE ARE PHOTOS OF YOU OR YOUR CLIENTS AT A PRISON?” Can you perform the task people are hiring you to perform? I can. 

If you haven’t educated yourself regarding marriage law and Unit Policy or Procedure, you are not prepared to be a Prison Officiant and much less a Prison Wedding Planner. Educate yourself. 

Saying you do Prison Weddings and actually DOING Prison Weddings are two very different things. “DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE?” If you don’t, you won’t get far in this industry. No experience, no clients and hoping business will fall into your lap? Good luck buddy. You are going to need it. 

This isn’t a role you figure out along the way. It’s a role you learn and prepare for. Clients have questions and you had better have the answers. State or Federal? The rules are different. I know the rules. 

Don’t know policy or procedure? You had better learn it because making a mistake in THIS INDUSTRY could put you on the other side of the bars. I’m being serious. Educate yourself. Not just anyone can walk into a prison. If you are walking into a prison, you had better know what’s allowed or authorized and what isn’t. 

I don’t make mistakes. I’m educated and well versed on every aspect of inmate marriage within every state I conduct ceremonies at. I also KEEP MY PROMISES. Honor, integrity, intelligence and passion are my calling cards. 

For years now, I’ve been the second and even third Officiant WHO GOT THE JOB DONE. Stop pretending you know how to do something you don’t. Weddings ARE LIFE EVENTS! 

The other people taking money for a service they either wouldn’t or couldn’t perform have earned their reputations. READ THAT AGAIN. I said EARNED their horrible reputations and I meant it. My stellar reputation is built on my honesty, transparency, dedication and diligence. I have never advertised or needed to. Why? Because my reputation is built on keeping my promises and holding my clients hands throughout a very lengthy and confusing process. This isn’t a job for the person who thinks their role is simply to show up. 

The role of a Prison Wedding Planner and Approved Officiant involves far more than bothering to show up. I’m a friend, a mother, an advisor, a counselor and friendly ear to my clients before, during and after their Prison Wedding. I’m different. I’m driven. I’m passionate and I’m an identical twin. Cindy (like me) is determined to make your Dream Event a Reality. Together we are a Twin Team that care about you and your journey.The number of people who suddenly say they specialize in prison weddings is hilarious. Why? Because even a blind squirrel can find an acorn and because I perform up to 30 prison and jail weddings a month in Texas alone. If these people are performing prison weddings (as they claim they are) where are their clients? 

I am the ONLY Prison Wedding Officiant who maps out up to 5 Units in 3-4 cities in ONE DAY. You won’t find anyone doing this because 1. They don’t have the clients and 2. They don’t have the experience, drive or stamina to handle a day in my life. 

Now, I’m going to move on to people who can’t seem to book any prison weddings finding other ways to get inside your pockets. First, anyone selling a parole packet isn’t a parole attorney. The Texas Criminal Justice Coalition offers a FREE that’s right FREE parole packet. Here’s the link… How To Write Parole Packets.

Secondly, anyone selling Letters Of Support are mass producing these letters. Do you REALLY think the parole board doesn’t recognize a mass produced letter? Here’s another FREE link regarding Letters Of Support… Parole Letter Support Suggestions.

Moving on to folks selling the Twogether In Texas at inflated prices. WITHOUT the CERTIFICATE I can assure you that you won’t receive the benefits. I don’t sell additional services and strongly suggest taking the course online from a vendor that 200 plus of my clients have used with NO ISSUES! The cost of the course is $29. You can stop and start as often as you like. Only one of you needs to complete the course. You receive $60 off the cost of the license and the 3 day waiting period is waived. Here’s the link… Twogether In Texas Online Course.

Be aware of the fact that you are a single income household. Protect yourself from con artists and con games. I was recently told “so and so sells parole packets.” I’m aware of “so and so” and her BBB complaints. You should be too. Do your research. Ask questions. There are also parole attorneys who have a zero success rate. RESEARCH I cannot stress this enough!

Remember that if someone is telling you something and can’t prove they have experience or worse any success, there is a reason for their failure. The reason is them. 

“YOU can’t LEAD the CHUCK WAGON, if you DONT know how to COOK, experience MATTERS.” 

I’m at several Units this week and available by phone, text or email. I will always answer phone calls and emails within 2 hours. If I miss you after 9PM, your calls and emails will be returned the following day. 

“Every job is a self portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.” – Vince Lombardi 

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Patience Is A Virtue When Planning Your Prison Wedding. Timelines, Deadlines, People & Places…

The past week has been one surprise after the other. February 5th I’m at Allred Unit at 12:30 with four brides before literally skidaddling on over to Buster Cole Unit in Bonham at 5:30. Due to this “time crunch” and the possibility of Chaplain Redwine adding on another client at Allred, bridal photos will be taken prior to Unit Weddings at Allred due to my schedule. 

“GOOD things take TIME, and GREAT things take PATIENCE.” 

“Perspiration is the perfume of persistence.” 

Planning a Prison Wedding IS A PROCESS. There is paperwork there can be delays. The timeline isn’t something you or I can control. Contact or No Contact Ceremonies are based on an inmates status. “Contact” refers to the glass separating the inmate from my client and I. 

While Arkansas will allow up to 6 guests and ring exchanges, Texas won’t. 

Arkansas like the majority of my other service states also has a 3 month waiting period and the additional burden of transportation costs to the clerks office. 

Texas clients don’t have this expense due to the use of an Absentee Affidavit removing the requirement for an inmate to be transported to the clerks office. 

Every state is different. Every protocol is different. Knowing the variations is key to getting the job done for me. I am the most in demand prison Officiant in this industry. Why? Because I care and it shows. I have never advertised any of my businesses and I will never need to. My reputation is my calling card. When someone contacts me to perform their ceremony they know that I will be determined to make it as worry free and special as humanly possibly under unique circumstances.

I’m frequently contacted by production companies and reporters. I’m leery of reporters seeking sensationalism and controversy or production companies expecting me to send them my clients. Why? I’m not in the referral business of doing a strangers job for them by “finding and or securing the talent.” If you are casting a prison or inmate based show, your job is to find the talent not mine. 

Last year in March, someone contacted me regarding gaining access to Units as well as finding the talent. This “someone” also sent me an unsigned contract and with my burdened schedule expected me to do his job for him. 

Heads up kids, this isn’t my first rodeo with media or production companies. My focus is on my business not yours. If you are sending me a contract for review, you might bother signing it and understand that I’m not interested in being tied down with rope I’m paying for. What? Don’t try to tie me down with what you want at my expense. I’m busy. I don’t have time for smoke and mirrors or bullshit. 

By the way, regarding access to Units since that “someone” was unaware how to obtain it on their own last March, media must go through TDCJ Communications AND requires consent from the inmate. A reporter traveled with me in August to numerous Units and yes I helped Ella gain access. I know policy AND procedure.

For a few years I have posted flyers for Love After Lock Up on my pages and if my clients are interested, I’ve shared the contact info to producers. 

The producers at Sharp Entertainment unlike that “someone casting  a prison show” last year and expecting me to work for him while assuming I was a hillbilly with nothing better to do than his bidding were by far more professional. The producers at Sharp are straight up about why they are contacting me. What they were asking me to do takes a few seconds to post on social media. Candor and transparency go a long way with me. I don’t have hours to educate someone on policy or procedure. If you are contacting me to do something you are too lazy to do on your own, do more research but don’t piggy back your workload this way Buddy. I operate 4 businesses. I’m on staff at 3 venues and I volunteer as a hospice clergy at Baylor and Harris. I.E. I’m busy. 

My clients are fragile and aware that not everyone can understand or accept their choice to marry an inmate. Unlike my “traditional clients,” these clients are unique, driven, passionate and unspoiled. There aren’t any divas marrying an inmate. 

A few months ago, I met my Goree Unit bride and her sister in Huntsville at the Unit. Surprisingly, the Chaplain met me in the parking area to advise me that the marriage would not be taking place due to the inmate being listed as common law married to someone other than my client. 

The CLM issue continues to pop up. In many cases, a Dissolution Agreement and Verification Letter from the state can and do dissolve this inmate status but Goree wouldn’t accept the Dissolution Letter or Verification Letter. Because of this, I will be marrying my couple outside of Walls Unit. 

The frequent occurrence of an on the fly wedding ceremony at Walls Unit after release might surprise a few people but patience is a virtue. 

My Goree Unit client did have time for bridal photos after leaving Goree devastated about her inability to marry. Cindy and I had a great time with these amazing ladies and can’t wait to see them again in May at Walls Unit.For the folks who assume “people only marry inmates to obtain conjugal visits,” ignorance speaks without forethought. Conjugal visits are only allowed in four states. Read that again. Only four states currently allow conjugal visits, otherwise known as extended family visits, and they don’t exist in the federal prison system. The states are California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington. 

Please stop assuming everyone is marrying an inmate solely to obtain a conjugal visit. Educate yourself and THEN CONTACT ME. 

I am consistently surprised by the number of people posting comments or emailing me with radically stupid or uneducated opinions. If you don’t know what you are talking about, please sit down and shut up. Stop emailing, calling and posting comments advertising your opinions. My clients don’t care what you think and I don’t either. 

Other readers and followers have legitimate questions or concerns such as “Wendy why are you occasionally wearing a visitor badge and other times you aren’t?”  Certain Units issue me as well as my client a visitors pass. In exchange for the passes, our state issued ID’s are on file in the shakedown entry area. 

Our ID’s are returned for the visitor passes when leaving. The level of security often dictates whether or not a visitor pass is warranted. “How did your business shift so fluidly To Inmate Ceremonies verses the traditional client?” Good question and observation. 

Four years ago, my bookings were 85-90% “traditional clients” and scheduled on weekends. Jail and Prison visitation is on the weekend and therefore weddings are scheduled during the week. 

Inmate Weddings PERFECTLY fit my existing schedule years ago. I’m happier at a prison than a venue! Why? Because my clients are amazing that’s why. “How did you get so successful in this niche industry? Can you teach me how to do what you do?” No. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist? Do YOU care about these people and their journey? Are you compassionate? 

If the ONLY reason you want to try breaking into the Prison wedding business is money, this isn’t the business for you. This is a people based industry. By the way, asking someone successful to teach you how to find the success they worked for and earned is the most entitled and narcissistic idea I’ve ever heard of.

“No one has more admiration for a narcissistic person than themselves. Anything not directly related to them isn’t important to them. The only thing good about a narcissistic person is their ability to keep a secret.” Say what? Narcisstic people don’t listen to any conversation unless it’s about them. Hence their ability to keep a secret. 

“Gratitude is the difference between appreciation and a sense of entitlement.”

“Pigs get fed and hogs get slaughtered.” Never heard this farmers term that lays out greed and throat cutting? It’s a true and accurate statement and term my husband’s father told him for years as a child. This quote dates as far back to the 1800’s. Author Unknown. 

“How many of your clients are still married?” From which business? The Pawning Planners, Texas Twins Events, TDCJ Officiant venues I’m on staff at? The total number of divorces from all of my clients in all of these years is 6. 

“I’ve read that you started Texas Twins Events to give others the wedding you didn’t have and to spend more time with your family. Is that true?” Yes it is. Cindy took on raising her twin granddaughters and gave up her day job. Finding a way to spend time together while helping others was the best decision I’ve ever made. 

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Grooms, Good Times & Keeping The Faith. Prison Marriage Isn’t Limited To Women…

I’m always a little surprised by others assumptions. “What do you mean Wendy?” Well, a call this morning from a reporter interested in statistics and unconcerned about my schedule (as usual) wanted to disrupt my morning of calling to confirm dates at Units with what “he needed.” 

Let’s review how contacting me at your convenience affects me. First, unless you are a client, you aren’t my priority. Your luggage is your trip. Get in line. Email or tell me what you need and I will get back to you at MY CONVENIENCE. 

A few months ago something so preposterous occurred that for those of you who might have missed it, I will revisit this shocking and rampant escapade with a “producer” who contacted me via my Instagram page (@wendywortham) via messages. 

Stay tuned for one of the most fabricated and misleading wastes of my time and patience that I have ever encountered with anyone in the entertainment industry and WHY I’m so bitchy about people contacting me to do their job for them….

In March, 2019, Chris contacted me regarding seeking women for a prison based show. This isn’t unusual. In fact, people seeking prison love stories contact me with alarming regularity and always at “their convenience.” 

Since I’m well aware that a production companies job is “to find and secure the talent,” I am wary of anyone contacting me to do their job for them and advised Chris of this. In fact, I flat out told him to “send me a contract.” Chris probably assumed that I was unfamiliar with contracts but I’m not. 

Chris had emailed me an unsigned contract giving me whatever I asked for without terms pertaining to compensation OR HIS SIGNATURE. That’s right ya all. Chris was a player and thought he would play me. Sitting at his desk while having me perform the work of an unpaid talent scout or and this is ironic…a production company assistant in a volunteer capacity. Humph. 

I am a very busy person and intolerant of smoke and mirrors. I don’t like liars or con artists either. 

Over the course of about a week, Chris consistently “skirted” direct questions from me regarding signing that contract. I was juggling 9 clients during that week since it was March AND wedding season with more demanding phone calls, text and emails  from Chris who wanted and expected me to drop what I was doing and accommodate his needs for me to scour my clients and find “attractive women” then provide him with their information. By the way, all of my clients are attractive. 

NOW you are catching on to why I have such “an attitude” about people contacting me to do their job and especially people contacting me who think or believe that sending me a phony contract AKA carrot to chase their stick in order to bamboozle me to do their job for them will never result in what they expected to happen. Go find someone green enough to fall for your song and dance but don’t assume that someone is me. 

After a week of Chris and his crazy demands from Southern California as well as that phony contract, I blew him off and out of my life. What a colossal waste of time that was. 

I posted a blog warning my clients not to waste their time with Chris. Subsequently, Chris also threatened to sue me for defamation which I found hilarious BECAUSE Chris had failed to realize that I could easily document everything due to first the phony and unsigned contract. Second the emails. Third the text messages and fourth the direct messages on Instagram. 

Defamation and libel lawsuits have idiots unaware of what such suits involve running around screaming lawsuit. Here’s a heads up for ya all, truth is an absolute defense in a court of law. Phony contracts are also fraudulent too. If you are going to send me a phony contract, lie to me them scream lawsuit because I published the facts, you will also have me laughing my a$$ off at your ignorance. Chris did. Don’t threaten to sue someone when you have no idea of the legal process involved and especially when you are at fault. A guilty dog barks first. Barks lawsuit that is. I document everything. I’m also not stupid enough to fabricate anything unlike Chris. 

Sue me for stating the facts? Warning my Prison clients within the US that every person “telling them that they are casting a prison based show” might very well be fabricating the facts? 

Don’t be Chris. Truth is an absolute defense in law. Countersuits for malicious prosecution are real and expensive. It’s now been seven months and after a promise to hear from his attorneys, I have yet to receive anything regarding a threat of a lawsuit from either Chris or his attorney although I have carefully prepared and documented exhibits of the evidence in order to prepare for a countersuit in the event Chris follows through with his threat. I don’t bring a knife to a gunfight and my time is at a bill rate. The entire week I spent dealing with Chris COULD have been spent working and earning. My time isn’t free. Also, simply because I live in Texas, it’s best for anyone to realize that I’m not a hillbilly dazzled by promises of fame or fortune. 

Chris assumed that he could intimidate Chris also underestimated me. I’m not young or dumb. Go blow smoke up someone else’s skirt. If you want me to help you, don’t make up a phony contract to “coerce or entice me” either. Don’t call me and expect me too jump unless you are a client and under contract OR you’ve sent me a valid contract and I have agreed to the terms. 

This isn’t my first rodeo kids. Be honest. I’m busy juggling four businesses, a wide and varied client base, working with venues I’m on staff at, volunteering as a hospice clergy and a premarital counselor. I don’t have time for games. No one does. If you want something from me, get in line and when I have time I will answer you. My clients and my family come first. 

What most folks fail to realize about me is that I’m not stupid. In fact, I’m highly intelligent and spent years in courtrooms. I’ve also represented myself in federal court and won. “What? Why?” I was on an excused medical leave of absence due to thyroid cancer and fired while on leave. My  former employer had  also canceled my health insurance. While undergoing medical treatment? Yes. Stay tuned… 

Subsequently, I sued Chair King. Attorneys for Chair King moved the suit to Federal Court and filed a Motion To Dismiss due to the change of venue. I amended my petition to federal standards. I don’t run around screaming “lawsuit” like Chris. 

In fact, if I was forced to sue anyone, I can assure you that there were valid reasons. I also settled with Chair King for $40k a few weeks after successfully amending my petition to federal standards. Hopefully, they don’t fire anyone else on an excused medical leave AND cancel their health insurance. 

Fun (and shocking) fact from the Chair King lawsuit, one of their attorneys (the same attorney who tried to get a dismissal by moving the case) also turned me into the Supreme Court UPL Committee. I’ve encountered stupid people before. The attorney believed that by forcing me to defend myself against that frivolous UPL complaint that I would be far too busy, scared and intimidated regarding that erroneous UPL complaint to find the time or highly articulate skill set to successfully amend my pro se lawsuit against Chair King. 

Yes, dear readers, I’ve met sneaky attorneys too and I know my rights. If someone files a UPL complaint, you are entitled to a copy of said complaint. Demand it. Frankly, I was as shocked as you are BUT due to the requirement of notifying the respondent, I recognized the attorneys name immediately. I also demanded a copy of the UPL complaint from the Supreme Court and immediately recognized the attorneys name who had filed it. For anyone unaware of the gravity pertaining to a UPL complaint, it’s a felony. It is also a felony to accuse someone of a crime that they have not committed. It is also a breach of attorney conduct. I used that Supreme Court copy of the erroneous complaint “10 ways to Sunday.” Hog tying a rattlesnake ain’t easy but I did. 

After successfully defending myself against that unscrupulous UPL complaint filed by Chair Kings Attorney of record, I also filed a copy of the UPL Complaint and the Complaintant right into my Amended federal lawsuit against Chair King. 

Not surprisingly, the judge was just shocked regarding that an unfounded UPL complaint by opposing council as I was. 

Have you ever noticed that the same people who use sneaky and underhanded tactics to get their way are the very same people who think they are smart? There is a helluva difference between someone smart and someone being a smart ass! I recognize the variation quickly. My life is black or white. I have no grey areas.

People like Chris are the type of people I have no interest in wasting my time talking to. In 2012, I sold Defending Debt Lawsuits LLC. I then created Texas Twins Events. I’m neither gullible or ignorant. People might THINK or even ASSUME that I’m stupid and I let them because it always works to my advantage to do so. 

My twin will tell you flat out “Wendy is scary smart” and effectively warn you. Cindy warmed Chris too. Cindy knew that I was documenting everything pertaining to a contract sent to me that no network would agree to. I saw a wolf in the hen house early on. I document everything. People quickly forget their own lies. Chris did. 

By the end of the week last March, he had sent an email “promising $1k to me for each booked client that I referred to him.” At the same time, he was contacting my clients by clicking their Instagram name from my photos on my page while feeding me yet another line of BS. I called his hand and advised him “my clients are loyal. They told me you contacting them behind my back AFTER emailing me that BS $1k email and AFTER sending me your phony contract you probably laughed drawing up F off.” I meant it too.

At 16 years old, I signed my first contract to film 5 commercials with Mel Tillis for Whataburger. I’m well aware of the entertainment industry, familiar with production and know a BS story when I hear one. 

Cindy and I have filmed numerous televisions shows and our own television pilot. We have also been under contract with numerous production companies. I.E. we know the drill and our worth. Our clients don’t. We inform them. We also protect them from people like Chris willing to lie to get what they want from them. 

Don’t believe everything you hear from “someone in the film industry” get a contract. Make sure the person sending it signs it too. 

Now, back to that pesky reporter… the percentage of men marrying women among my clients is 6-10% the percentage of LBGT clients marrying in prisons is 11-18% the remaining percentage of my client base for inmate weddings is self explanatory. 

For reporters or production companies follow my pages, I do not post photos of ALL of my clients. Privately owned Units do not allow wedding photos. TDCJ photos are purchased for $3 each. Bridal or Groom photos are a courtesy for all of our booked clients. Inventory is provided by me at no cost to them. Prints are mailed to clients as a wedding gift. 

I do not ask anyone why their loved one is incarcerated. I do not share client information with anyone unless I’ve discussed a project with my client and they have shown interest. 

Neither I or Cindy are under contract. Finding the right project, production company and network aren’t a priority to myself or my sister. Our focus is and always will be on our clients…

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Rainbows In The Dark & Country Roads Taking Me Home. Palo Pinto To Parker County & More Travels Of The Texas Twins….

Starting my day driving out to Palo Pinto County Jail, a call from my husband had me laughing regarding his statement “every song I sing, I sing for you. Everything I do, I do for you.” The statement itself wasn’t humorous but the memory of my Sanders Estes Client asking me to sing at her wedding a few years ago was. Frankly, I’m not a singer and although I’ve got the passion to belt out a line, I don’t have the voice. My husband doesn’t either but his attempts at singing are hilarious nonetheless. 

My Estes client had wanted music and music isn’t allowed at inmate weddings. To overcome this issue, she had asked me to sing the song for her. Always willing to give any request my best shot, I agreed to do so. Mid song at the Unit though, my bride turned and said “Miss Wendy, I really appreciate you trying to sing the song and all but it’s okay to just say the words instead.” I did lol. 

There are performers out there who really can’t sing but are so outrageous and animated that most people overlook their pitfalls. When it comes to singing, I’m animated but I’m not a singer. Like many of my friends who are drag performers though, I can lip sync and give a helluva performance but without music, my skills are limited to my talent as a singer. On the rare occasions that I have belted out lines, it was because the DJ either didn’t have the entrance music or the CD wouldn’t play. In such cases, I ask the guests to join me in singing whatever the song may be. With my back up, my singing skills or lack of them are barely noticeable. Why? Because there is strength in numbers that’s why. I’m not singing alone because the wedding guests are singing with me. 

One interviewer asked me “how would you describe your experiences as a Prison wedding Officiant?” This was an odd question because the majority of my “experiences” with a client are outside of the prison in the weeks and months of establishing a relationship with my clients. The inmate isn’t the client. The person on the outside is. Prison Weddings are Rainbows In The Dark. Prisons are dark places. Weddings are and always will be a joyous occasion for me regardless of where they take place. Searching my experiences with an army of amazing and determined prison wives and husbands who have chosen to marry an inmate, the best way I can describe my experiences is by first establishing a relationship with my client and then by holding their hand through a confusing and lengthy process before finally meeting on wedding day. My staff and I rarely spend more than an hour “inside” a Unit with clients. We frequently spend several hours driving to and from the Unit to meet our clients however. 

This morning my Estelle Unit client had sent me a text regarding the “Chaplain being evasive about the date.” My job is to be a hand holder. A problem solver. To solve this problem, I called the Unit and confirmed the date and time myself with the Chaplain. It’s always easier and speedier for me to contact the Unit than it is to wait for the Unit to contact me. #ProblemSolved. 

August 22nd is completely booked. Please do not tell any Unit that this date will work for you and I. It won’t. My schedule at Texas Prisons is booked 2-3 weeks out. 

If your Unit is within 2 hours of a confirmed booking at another Unit, I can perform my confirmed booking in the morning or afternoon and accommodate hours in the morning or afternoon. The secondary Unit must be within 2 hours of my currently booked and confirmed Unit. Certain Units and cities offer a degree of flexibility due to the number of Units nearby in Huntsville, Gatesville and Tennessee Colony. 

The busiest and most popular Texas days for a Prison wedding are Tuesday and Thursday. Be aware that Tuesday and Thursday are always booked first and don’t simply assume that I “can squeeze you in.” Double bookings or more than one Unit in any given day are subject to my availability and discretion. 

Bouncing from one Unit to the next takes a large degree of planning. For years now, I’ve performed 2 and on rare occasions even 3 weddings on the same day but…it’s stressful and exhausting. I prefer to “max” myself at 2 weddings per day whenever possible. I can do up to 6 weddings and the same Unit and I have which is far less stressful than moving to another location to perform another ceremony at a secondary Unit. 

This afternoon on a call to Leigh Ann after seeing 2 messages from California regarding prison weddings, yet another argument ensued about how “stressful” walking into a prison is for my niece. 

Cindy and I have been “footing the bills” for our adult children all of their lives and it’s not an easy decision to tell my niece to suck it up but, it is a conversation that I was forced to have with her because I cannot fly back and forth to California to perform prison weddings when my mainstay of bookings is in Texas and surrounding states. I have people contacting me for Prison Weddings in California. I have a niece that bought a new car against the wishes of her mother and I and I have a niece who is a shopaholic that loves living the fine life. On a seamans salary with a young child and eventually being stationed at Point Mugu, Leigh Ann must take on gigs in order to pay her bills. 

For nearly four years, Leigh Ann moved home while Alex was stationed abroad and didn’t pay rent or buy groceries. Her mother and I paid all of her expenses while she shopped, got her nails and hair professionally done and then decided months prior to moving to California to buy a new car? 

How do you teach your adult children about entitlement? How do you teach them to supplement their income by working gigs and figuring it out? The conversation with Leigh Ann was less than friendly because quite frankly, if I have to travel to California to perform these weddings myself, I’m assuredly not going to pay Leigh Ann while I’m performing the work myself. 

Conversations with Leigh Ann regarding money are consistently infuriating for not only I but also her mother. We love Leigh Ann but at some point educating her about caviar wishes on a beer budget are in order here. 

Her husband, Alex is studying to take a test that will increase their income however, the possibility that he won’t pass the test exists. I asked Leigh Ann “what are you going to do if Alex doesn’t pass?” It’s a valid question. Alex is shouldering all of the responsibility. 

I’m highly concerned about teaching Leigh Ann to budget or to work to supplement her income. I cannot book a gig in California unless I’m certain that Leigh Ann is going to show up. Cindy and I discussed this at length. “We could stack them and rent two cars then spread out and get everyone covered” Cindy suggested. 

Cindy is effectively “simplifying” our schedules because we are already booked in California with other events. I can’t be everywhere and Cindy can’t either. 

Will Leigh Ann overcome her fear of entering a prison without having a panic attack? Only time will tell. Leigh Ann can certainly book beach weddings as an Officiant and photography. She’s a very experienced photographer and has a portfolio. 

What will I do if my niece doesn’t want to continue performing prison weddings? Cindy and I will have to travel to other states as we do in Texas to perform them ourselves. 

Today Leigh Ann is upset with me but, when she realizes that her mother and I won’t continue to cover her expenses, reality is going to bite. 

Meanwhile, my son had called yesterday while leaving New Boston and heading to Chocktaw Casino to meet a couple who had met there and wanted to marry in a parking lot. I literally have no down time. Cindy listened as I explained that my son’s wife birthday party must be moved to Monday as there isn’t any way I can squeeze it in on Sunday. 

My son is acting very overprotective about his wife’s pregnancy and he’s also been pretty cranky lately. Last month he turned down a wedding at Tarrant County and told me “I’m not comfortable there. It’s difficult to park and a real hassle.” Hmm, working and travel are a hassle? Picking and choosing Units? I could go on and on here. 

Attempting to educate our adult children about finances is a never ending saga. I don’t have a money tree dropping bills every morning and no one else does either. Cindy and I are both overwhelmed with trying to keep our families happy while our families continue to want more, more, more. 

This afternoon in Parker County, my niece Stephaney told me “I’m bored. I hate staying at home. I want to go have fun.” What the? Go have fun? Fun costs money. 

For several months now, Cindy has been buying Stephaney’s cigarettes and gave her a credit card “for emergencies” when we are on the road. Those “emergencies” have included taking friends to lunch or dinner and buying cocktails. 

In one week alone, Stephaney charged over $300 for “emergencies.” As usual, Cindy told me “we eat at fast food restaurants, I never buy anything for myself. I color my own hair. I wear the same clothes and I cannot for the life of me get any help from anyone in my own house. The twins stay in their rooms unless they want something. Stephaney is bored and spending money like water. I bend over backwards trying to accommodate everyone putting my own needs last and now we are looking at the twins wanting cars and paying for drivers ed while Steph complains about not having a car. These people think we are rich. How do I tell her to stop charging this card up?” 

This was a problem. Cindy never tells me problems until they are so big that they begin to weigh on her. 

My twin is soft. She’s easy. I’m far more challenging when it comes to our adult children. Cindy and I walked into Whataburger to order a chicken salad while looking over the latest $300 plus charges to that “emergency credit card.” 

Sitting down to wait on our salads, I fell Cindy “here we are eating at Whataburger while I look at charges from Chili’s, On The Boarder and other “nicer than we are eating at” restaurants. What the? Your husband is eating at truck stops and we are either packing our lunches or hitting convenient spots to grab a bite on the run while Steph is out parting because she’s bored sitting at home? You cook, you clean, you pick up after the entire household and the last thing you need to be doing is handing out a credit card to someone who doesn’t work and has no plans to start. Steph needs to start pitching in and helping you. She’s never paid rent. She’s made plenty of mistakes. She wants another car because she’s went through 4 in 4 years AND NOW the twins each want their own car? Teach these people to fish. Let them go find a job and save up to buy a car while buying gas and insurance. Teach them to be thankful for what they have and what we go through to make sure they have it. Cut WAY back and the next time someone tells you they are bored, hand em a broom and tell em to start cleaning. We work our butts off. Our husbands work their butts off. We have given these people everything we never had and it’s still not enough. Start saying no before the stress of shouldering all of these monkeys kills you.” 

Over our $6 lunches, I also added “none of them appreciate all of the cars we’ve bought, all of the repairs we’ve paid for or anything we’ve given or provided that no one gave us. Fifteen years old and on our own, we figured it out. We had no one. They have both of us.” 

My son has a new truck and a new custom home. Leigh Ann and Alex are moving to a beautiful two story townhome and spending two months in a Marine Hotel in San Diego while spending their free time shopping and enjoying the beach with Maddy. 

Our kids live well but they live well because Cindy and I cover the overdrawn checking account here or there or we send money via Paypal and all of our children and grandchildren know that we will fix whatever because we are the fixers. 

But, one day my husband and Cindy’s husband will retire. One day this gravy train is going to stop rolling and when it does, I’m very concerned about our adult children and their expectations colliding. 

I’ve been trying to “ween” my family for ten years now. Since I turned 45 years old and realized that giving my son a credit card was a mistake. I had quickly realized that my son and his friends were having a grand old time at my expense. 

I’m “tougher” than Cindy and my sons question after months of living the high life were ended with him questioning me  “why are you taking my credit card?” HIS credit card? What the? 

Parents, do yourselves a favor and DO NOT GIVE your kids a credit card. Make them go to work and get their own credit cards. Make them pay the bill. Teach them to fish. 

Cindy has time to teach Steph to fish by taking that credit card back. Man, if our husbands had any real clue what we spend on our children and grandchildren, they would FLIP OUT. They have no children or grandchildren. Why these two have stuck around with our circus of a family I have no idea. Unconditional love must surpass everything is the only answer I can find to my consistent question of why my husband still comes home to “chaos central” around here. There’s always something going on. ALWAYS. 

Steve wishes he was home every night? Cindy wishes she was on the road 5-6 days a week and AWAY from home. You get the point. 

Cindy and I are literally all over the place the next few weeks and who knows what September holds as Prison Weddings in Texas aren’t scheduled until 7-10 days prior to the wedding. I was recently asked “what’s your schedule in October” by someone wanting to film in October. I can give you my weekend schedule but my weekdays go in 2 week intervals since I’m not notified of scheduling until 2 weeks prior to the event. 

My traditional bookings and Vow Renewals on evenings and weekends are scheduled years in advance but if you want me to tell you what Units I will be at in October, I have no idea until mid September in Texas. 

Other states only allow prison weddings once a year, twice a year, every three months and so on. Texas weddings are either on Tuesday, Weds, Thursday or Friday the 1st and 3rd weeks or the 2nd and fourth weeks. You may go a week doing nothing then the next week working Tuesday through Friday. Scheduling prison weddings is unpredictable and chaotic because the Officiant doesn’t control the scheduling. The Chaplain calls with dates but finding a date that works with my existing schedule is challenging. Often, I must choose the 2nd and rarely 3rd date options. 

I’m hoping that Leigh Ann adjusts in California and becomes bolder about walking into a prison. I’m also hoping my son and his wife learn patience with this pregnancy and Cindy learns to limit her generosity. I’m hoping that the twins starting school next Thursday flows smoothly and I’m hoping that eventually Stephaney decides to go back to work and buys her own car but, expecting Cindy and I to pay for everything for the rest of our lives isn’t going to continue to happen. We are trying to teach our children and grandchildren to be independent and it’s not an easy conversation or conversion… 

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Headed To TDCJ Hilltop Unit And Gatesville, Texas A City Of Women’s Prisons…

Gatesville is one of the cities I frequent due to the number of Units located there. I had been contacted a few weeks ago by my client wishing to marry there and although this would be my first visit to Hilltop, I knew exactly where it was from passing it numerous times on my way to Hughes, Crain and my other “regular Unit stops.”

Gatesville is a city in and the county seat of Coryell County, Texas, United States. The population was 15,751 at the 2010 census. The city has five of the eight prisons and state jails for women operated by the Texas Department of Criminal Justice.

Hilltop is the hub of the six prisons in Gatesville. The Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) described it as “a true prison farm” that “fittingly serves as the headquarters for the area’s agricultural operations.” 

The unit has pigs fed on feeder slabs and sixty horses used by field officers from surrounding prison units. The regional operations and maintenance departments are located at Hilltop. The unit hosts the pre-service and in-service area training facilities. Hilltop is the center of vehicle maintenance and repair work, and it serves as the area fuel depot.

The exteriors of the Hilltop buildings have bright white paint; the TDCJ says that the buildings “sparkle like white diamonds when the light is right.” Many building interiors have moldings dating from the 1890s. Some staircases are topped by pressed tin ceilings from era that the former Gatesville State School was built in. 

The Texas Building of Hilltop Unit was formerly Ferguson Hall; its current name stems from the concrete letters, colored in red, white, and blue, spelling “TEXAS.” The Texas Building’s first floor has classrooms and a library. The upstairs has an auditorium and a walled-in projection room. 

A cemetery containing graves of children of the former state school who died there is located across Business Highway 36.

Hilltop houses a program for female young offenders, located in the main Hilltop school. As of 2002 about 15 girls are in the program. 

The Hackberry Unit houses a Parole Modification and a Substance Abuse Felony Punishment Facility.

My groom had met his fiancée while visiting another inmate and former church member housed at Hilltop Unit. My groom was very excited to finally be marrying and I was surprised to learn he was from Azle, Texas. 

My husband has numerous developments in the Azle, Springtown, Lake Worth and Saginaw areas and as teens, Cindy and I briefly attended Azle High School. I never ask why an inmate is incarcerated however, my clients always wish to share the details. Delwyn was no exception. 

A deeply religious man, Delwyn arrived initially across the yard from my SUV at the Hilltop Unit but told me that “the visitation entry was on the other side.” Since I hadn’t been to this Unit before, I moved my SUV to follow and parked across from the Regional Directors Offices. Delwyn and I walked inside as Cindy waited in my SUV. We were of course in the wrong building and told to go back over to the main entrance. 

Delwyn and I both drove back to the main entrance at Hilltop and approached the tower guard. Due to the back and forth from one entrance to the next, Delwyn and I were both sweating profusely as we waited in the Texas sun for the guard to come out and count quarters for Unit photos after verifying our ID’s and then instructing us to go back over to the visitation entrance on the other side of the building. This was really unusual as traditionally, I enter through the main building, screen in with my clients and wait for an escort to the visitation area. 

Back parked at the visitation area, Delwyn and I were screened in. We walked across the street with two guards to wait on the gates to be unlocked but one of the keys wasn’t working. If I was overheated at the main entrance, I was really overheating waiting on another guard to come unlock the gate on the other side. But, waiting is the role of a prison wedding Officiant as well as my clients. We waited together as our escorts unlocked the gates and finally met Stacie standing smiling outside the visitation room. 

Upon entering the room, I went over “the rules.” There are strict rules regarding inappropriate contact during a prison wedding. Both parties are allowed two “pec kisses” and allowed to hold hands and briefly hug. 

Since I’m always asked about this, there are no conjugal visits at TDCJ facilities. Marriage ceremonies are generally “contact visits” unless the inmate is G4 or G5 status or for some other reason behind glass. If the inmate is behind glass, there is no contact.

Delwyn had sent me several “poses” he wanted for his wedding photos. I generally prefer to do photos after the ceremony because clients are relieved to get the wedding behind them and far more relaxed. 

Delwyn had also written his vows and the opening for my ceremony which is unusual but I enjoy creative client input. My couple were somewhat nervous as most couples marrying inside a prison are. 

Delwyn had brought a derby hat with him to the ceremony so I reached over to grab it and put it on him for one of their wedding photos together. I loved his bow tie too.

Hilltop didn’t have the painted walls in the visitation area that most Texas Units do but a beautiful tapestry had been hung on the wall which provided a dash of color. 

There are no special visits after a TDCJ wedding ceremony. We have 20-25 minutes inside the visitation area for your wedding. I time my ceremony to incorporate your vows and our timeline to give you sufficient time to say what you would like. If you have handwritten elements, please bring them with you.

As Delwyn and I were escorted back out of the visitation area, we both said goodbye to Stacie to follow the guard to the clearing area to await our photos to print. My favorite was the photo below because it shows just how much love Delwyn has for Stacie. I had decided to use the Coryell County Courthouse for a few groom photos and followed Delwyn there. Since my Grooms rarely take more than a few photos at their shoot, I had packed a few bouteniers and a sign for Delwyn and planned to incorporate his signed wedding license into the photos as well. 

Delwyn and I were both fairly overheated from standing outside Hilltop for over an hour together. I’m really looking forward to seeing Delwyn and Stacie again for their Vow Renewal and honored to have shared their Life Event at Hilltop Unit. Leaving the courthouse, I headed to the Dairy Queen drive through and was as surprised and delighted to see Delwyn standing at the counter across from me as he was to see Cindy and I. Like me, Delwyn had a long drive back to Azle while we were headed to Fort Worth and was thrilled to finally be married after a lengthy process to be granted permission to marry.

I’m at Connally Unit tomorrow with my beautiful bride, Victoria and at Buster Cole with Kelly on Friday. Can’t wait to meet you both.

My San Saba transfer from Plane Unit client had emailed me about August 20th at San Saba but I’m at Estelle Unit on the 20th about four hours from San Saba and due to the distance between both Units had to call San Saba for a secondary date. The first option was August 13th but, I’m at Telford Unit on the 13th so I will finally meet my groom at San Saba on August 27th at 10AM.

I answer a lot of questions about scheduling. The timeline to plan and execute your Prison wedding in Texas is 4-8 weeks. Clients booking first are my first priority. I cannot and will not “move an existing client and confirmed date at another Unit” to accommodate a new booking. What I can do is choose my next available date. As you know, I do not and will not advertise. My reasons for this are to keep my schedule flexible for my booked clients. 

I have other family members Approved to officiate your Texas Prison Wedding however, most clients only want me to officiate their wedding. Because of this, first booked clients take priority. Clients booking mid month are at the end of the month are accommodated based on my existing schedule.

My Gib Lewis booking for next Thursday was “chained out.” We now follow the groom. There are many chains in Texas at this time so when an inmate is “on a chain,” we wait and refill the I60 once the inmate is situated at the next Unit. 

For my Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas and California clients, we look forward to meeting ya all soon and like you wish that you had two days per month as an option to marry. However, the limited window available for your Prison Weddings are how I can move from one state to the next. If every state had two days per month to marry, it would be impossible for me to be everywhere on the limited number of days available which is why “stacking” works not only for you but also me. Stacked clients are discounted because I’m at one Unit with more than one client. Because of this, I discount all of my clients as a courtesy. 

It’s another busy weekend coming up with destination wedding in Colorado for our traditional clients who have booked a Vow Renewal. My last visit to Colorado was to spread my father in law’s ashes and I’m looking forward to a joyous visit this time around to Colorado.

Please remember to bring your marriage license, ID and quarters if you wish to buy Unit photos with you to your Texas or other state prison wedding.