Category: Stiles Unit

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What If? Why Not? What For? When Love Isn’t Enough…

Reading text messages from my Michael Unit Bride, Bridget, it became apparent that salvaging a marriage she had wanted so badly wasn’t going to work. Why? Her husband was making financial demands of sending $500 here or $700 there or he would be the victim of gang violence? Guilt is often a form of coercion and manipulation. Was Bridget aware of this? Perhaps not but I was about to enlighten her.

Bridget met her future husband in middle school. They hadn’t seen each other in thirty years. How did they reconnect? Her future husbands mother put Bridget in touch with her son.

At the time Bridget contacted me about marrying at Michael Unit, she was excited and thrilled to have found love. They hadn’t seen one another in person for thirty years. Their only correspondence was by mail or phone. I was a bit concerned about the fact that Bridget hadn’t had a visit and mentioned this to her but she wanted the emotional surprise and delight of seeing each other on wedding day.

I rolled into the parking lot at Michael in one of our Santa Fe suvs that day. I sent a text to Bridget and met her in the parking lot. We walked into the shakedown area.

For the record, I remember each moment I finally meet my clients marrying an inmate in person. Why? Because my traditional clients have always met me in person long before wedding day.

Clients marrying an inmate talk, text and email. We have a virtual relationship long before an in person meeting.

As we waited for our escort at Michael Unit, Bridget gave me the details of how this love story came about. It was romantic and filled with precious memories of their childhood. I loved the dynamics of “love finding a way.”

I never ask why an inmate is incarcerated. Often though my clients share this information on their own. Bridgets soon to be husband had a 55 year sentence. This alarmed me. Why? Because 55 years is a very long time.

While it’s true I have many clients who marry a lifer or death row inmate, I wondered with a sentence that heavy and a virtual courtship if Bridget could make this marriage work? After all, Bridget had children and grandchildren. The expenses of being a prison wife are many. Money on the books of an inmate, expensive phone calls, long drives to the Unit and lonely nights and holidays are hard on the person on the outside.

I recalled another client at Stiles who had been on the outside not once but twice for an inmate who claimed he wanted a fresh start only to wind up back in prison. My bride had called me after he was again back in the system. She needed an ear to listen. She needed a way to vent her frustration at loving someone who chose to go back to his old ways. He was released last month. Will he fly straight? Only time will tell but his beautiful wife won’t be around for a third stint. Everyone has limits.

My Wynn Unit bride contacted me about a divorce two months ago. My Ellis Unit client contacted me about a divorce while Cindy and I were in California.

Now Bridget is contacting me about a divorce. This is alarming. Why? All of these clients are in Texas. Not other service area states but only in Texas? Why the trend?

I sent Bridget information to self file her divorce. She’s in Dallas County. The clerks offices and courts are closed. Her husband continues to accuse her of being unfaithful. This type of tactic is a form of control. Generally it’s used to put the victim on the defensive. Why? To rattle their cage. To force them into being defensive. Manipulative people use emotion to bend or break someone. Bridget’s husband claimed the gang going after him was going after him for drugs. How did he obtain drugs in prison? Why did he consistently accuse her of being unfaithful. Why did he use guilt to attempt to coerce her into sending hundreds of dollars she didn’t have to send? Control.

Let’s go back to a client a few years ago who told me the inmate wanted her to send risqué photos of herself to him. She was uncomfortable about this and said so. The inmate became infuriated about her refusal. He then accused her of being unfaithful. He then demanded she send half of her income to him “to create a nest egg for our future.”

When I heard these red flags flying, I advised her to cut him off entirely. Stop taking his calls. Stop sending money. Stop being manipulated. Why? She has 3 children. She works two jobs. The last thing she needs are upsetting phone calls and accusations along with monetary demands. She cancelled plans to marry this con artist and found love on the outside.

Let’s go back to the two brides and one groom “scenario.” It’s tough to shock me but that catastrophe did. On the one hand I had someone in North Dakota wanting to marry someone in TDCJ. On the other hand I had someone in San Antonio wanting to marry the SAME INMATE.

How did I know it was the same inmate? The Unit, the inmates ID number and the inmates name perfectly matched. It was the same person. This Don Juan had a lot of time on his hands. He also had not one but two women sending him money in exchange for him sending these two women identical love letters. North Dakota sent me videos of the love letters to prove it was the same inmate she also sent copies of the envelopes. San Antonio sent me copies of the letters too. I advised both of these women to dump the flim flam man.

For weeks I continued to lay out all of the reasons this unethical scoundrel wasn’t marriage material. San Antonio demanded he “choose” between the two brides. She also decided to go ahead and marry him. He was paroled two weeks after the marriage.

While Cindy and I were in California he also hit the young lady who had offered her heart and her home to this abusive con man.

There are a number of names for scoundrels. Let’s review them… Charleton, Fraudster, Dastard, Scallywag, Bagabond, Hooligan, Grifter, Swindler, Rat, Villain, & Rogue to name a few. I’m going to add Insincere and Treacherous.

For the “prisoner attempting polygamy” all of the above references fit what he had been doing to not one but TWO WOMEN.

Betrayed by her husband, the bride that decided to marry the emotionally unfaithful con man who had prayed and played two women at the same time (that we knew of since there could have been more) she sent me a message on FB for her help filing a divorce. Cindy and I were in Oceanside. I asked what had happened? She told me he had struck her. That was enough information for me and certainly too much for her. Two weeks out of the joint and physically abusive only added to the emotional abuse this inmate had put her through. She’s divorced now and happy I might add. Well rid of a snake that crawled into her life and begrudgingly slithered out of it.

Bridget like all of my clients is worthy of true love. True love doesn’t have a price tag or demands. True love is freely given and freely received.

“When Kindness Is Consistent It Becomes Constant.” Cindy Daniel

Bridget like all of my clients deserves to find love and have love. Sadly, she married someone unworthy of her. Together we will fix that by obtaining a divorce and freeing the chains that bound her to someone hellbent on taking advantage of her…

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TDCJ Officiant Wendy Wortham- People, Places & Prisons…

It’s nearly 1AM and I’m still working. I’ve never been able to shut my mind off and sleep easily. Running between two hospitals for my new grandson and my grandniece for the past ten days hasn’t helped my ability to rest.

My structured pattern of going to sleep at 10PM and up at 5AM is out of whack.

People ask me why I work so much? After all, I’ve never advertised nor needed to. I could easily have retired years ago and chose not to. But, work is something I have always been good at. Perhaps better at than anything else in my life. I enjoy working now although for most of my life I was forced to work two jobs to pay the bills. I haven’t had to work two jobs for twenty years now. I don’t miss worrying every second about every penny. It’s odd not to worry about money anymore even twenty years later.

My husband is a real estate developer and president at his business. He shuts off his job duties Mon-Fri at exactly 5PM. He also has trouble sleeping worrying about numerous developments and where they are in the building process.

The one problem I don’t have in my life is money. The main problem I do have is time. Work and family as well as being a problem fixer are and can be stressful.

Mapping out my schedule for the next two weeks and answering 58 emails from today as my husband sleeps, answering questions from states two hours behind or an hour ahead of “Texas Time” rolls on into the wee hours.

For thousands of people who follow my blogs, my posts and my pages, my transparency often shocks them. I tell it like it is and all of my social media is public.

There are those who disagree with LBGT Marriage or inmate marriage that take time out of their day to voice their concerns to me while there are others who have heard about me and want me and only me to officiate their ceremony.

My reputation was and is built on honesty, integrity and transparency.

I don’t care what people who aren’t bound to me by blood, business or friendship think about my clients. My clients don’t care either.

Flying back from Galveston this evening, I was reviewing DM’s on my page and answering someone wishing to marry at Green Bay Unit.

Because I’m often contacted about county jails that don’t have a law library, we will review why a mobile notary may be a necessary expense.

If your LO is incarcerated at a county jail and you don’t have a marriage license in Texas, you need a certified birth certificate and an Absentee Affidavit.

The Absentee Affidavit must be notarized. Because there isn’t a law library at a county jail, you will need a mobile notary.

If you know your LO is going to be going away, I strongly suggest purchasing a marriage license prior to him going into the system or waiting until they are transferred into TDCJ.

Why? Because prisons have law libraries and notaries. Tarrant County Jail will not allow a notary without an attorney. Green Bay will.

If your LO is taken to Tarrant County, the odds are they will be moved to Green Bay. Wait until they are moved or buy that license before they go in. It’s going to save you time, trouble and the expense of a mobile notary.

Why won’t I become a mobile notary? I don’t have time. I’m asked this over and over again and the last thing I need is another commitment. I am on staff at several venues and own several businesses. I work 7 days a week as it is and the last thing I need is one more thing on my plate.

You can easily find mobile notaries online. You CANNOT easily find someone who is willing to go into a jail and notarize an absentee affidavit.

Why? Who knows I don’t understand it myself.

There is one mobile notary I often refer for Fort Worth and another for Dallas. Both are rather expensive but experienced with the process.

Hiring someone who doesn’t know what the Hell they are doing CAN and WILL cost you MORE money.

You need someone who is familiar with the county jail. I wouldn’t refer a Dallas notary to go to Fort Worth and I wouldn’t recommend a Fort Worth notary to go to Dallas. Why? Because travel is expensive and because both notaries have their own areas they prefer to work. I’m not in any shape, form or fashion affiliated with either of these two guys and quite frankly think their fees are exorbitant.

BUT, if you aren’t willing to wait for your LO to go into TDCJ or FBOP, your choices are limited. There are only two notaries that I know of who have successfully obtained the Absentee Affidavits in Dallas and Fort Worth.

Let’s say you “found someone cheaper.” The notary you found also screwed up the affidavit and now you have to hire someone else.

For four years now, I’ve sent anyone needing a notary for a county jail to the same two notaries. No one has had to hire someone else to go back in and do it over either. EXPERIENCE MATTERS.

Now, let’s say you don’t have a photo ID for yourself. Do you have a passport? If you don’t, you aren’t going to get into a jail, FBOP, ICE or TDCJ Unit. You will need to obtain a state issued photo ID before you do anything else.

You will also need to be an approved visitor.

You will also need to follow guidelines for the facility we will be walking into.

The continued arguments of “I live in Louisiana so why can’t I buy my marriage license here” scenarios aren’t helping you or me. You are traveling to Texas. TDCJ Units want a Texas Marriage License.

When I travel to my other service area states, I can assure you that other facilities want a marriage license from THEIR state too.

While it’s true that an out of state marriage license is valid in other states, let’s remember that state and federal facilities govern their own protocol pertaining to their Unit.

A Warden makes the decision as to whether to accept an out of state license or not.

I’m a rule follower. I like order. I enjoy routine. I don’t bend rules or break them and expect my clients to abide by the same principles I do when inside any facility whether it’s county, state or federal.

Your behavior is a reflection of me since I’m representing you.

The clothing question continues to pop up. Remember that visitation guidelines apply to wedding day. Please stay within the boundaries you know exist.

Don’t “stretch” the clothing protocol. No client has ever “happily accepted a cafeteria smock handed to them on wedding day.”

I warn you for valid reasons. I warn you to protect you. My role is to make your day as seamless and close to perfect as it can be.

Regarding inquiries for other states, my travel itinerary is currently booked 5 months out and you will be added to the list on my next trip to your state.

I do not travel to other states that don’t border Texas on a monthly basis. I travel for more than 5 clients in one state and effectively “stack clients” in travel states that require flight which is why my waiting list exists.

I cut off new bookings until March 10th to ensure my availability for currently booked clients in Texas last week.

I am not taking on new bookings until March 11th. Why? Because I have 32 clients in Texas awaiting dates at Units. I limit new bookings to ensure my availability.

Oklahoma, Louisiana and Arkansas clients, please allow 10-21 days for your marriage license to be returned to you.

This “hold up” is from the county clerks offices being slow to process your license. I file licenses within 24-48 hours of each and every wedding via priority mail or in person.

The hold up isn’t on my end I can assure you.

Please Please Please VERIFY your address when buying your license. Why? Because IF you are calling me because you haven’t received it I can assure you that the odds of it being lost from the clerk to you ARE RARE. The issue is 99.9% of the time the address you provided when purchasing your license.

I track each and every license. I know exactly when they are recorded.

What I cannot do is track the clerk mailing the license after recording it to you because… 1. They use snail mail and 2. If you’ve provided an inaccurate address, it will be returned to the clerk and 3. You will call me because you didn’t receive it. 4. I will investigate and find out what’s going on and resolve the issue.

I will check my records and determine exactly when the clerk received your license then call the clerk with the exact date they received the license. The clerk will tell me when they mailed it. I will ask if it’s been returned. They will check. If it hasn’t further research is warranted.

If this “window” of a missing license is beyond 12-21 days, we have a problem and “the problem” in all of my years of officiating weddings is almost always due to a bad address on the license.

In over 2k weddings I’ve only ever had the clerk in Tarrant and Dallas counties lose TWO marriage licenses.

In Tarrant County last week I purchased a certified copy and mailed it to my client from January who never received the original.

In Dallas county two months ago, I had my clients meet me and purchase a duplicate I signed on site.

The odds of any clerks in any states losing your license are so rare that the fact that Tarrant and Dallas are the only clerks offices EVER in my history as an officiant that have not received the license back. This is highly unusual, irregular and concerning.

What’s going on in Dallas and Tarrant County with the mail?

Generally, the license will be returned to the clerk. A few weeks ago my Estelle client called me to tell me she hadn’t received her license.

The first question I ask any client prior to taking a license with me to file in person or via priority mail is to verify their address BEFORE I file it.

My Estelle client had confirmed her address was correct. I called McClennan County and not surprisingly they had the license. It had been returned because her apartment number was missing.

I then called her to call them to provide the correct address. Please check your address on the marriage license. Check it twice.

If you haven’t received it in 21 days, call me. I will find out what’s going on and resolve the issue.

Tomorrow I’m at Tarrant and Dallas Counties then Parker and Palo Pinto. If you are using social media to DM me this week and do not hear from me in 2-4 hours, call me as I’m traveling all week.

For states outside of Texas, we have your information on file and will contact you when scheduling to your state becomes available.

Thank you for your patience, your patronage and the opportunity to make your Dream Event a Reality…

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Reschedules, Rain, Backroads & Setbacks? Texas Weather Can Be Unpredictable…

Driving back from Huntsville this week, rain continued to fall. In Fort Worth though it was a bright sunshine filled day. This morning while planning my drive to TDCJ Cleveland Unit, a Reschedule was warranted due to flooding and road closures. 

The amount of time I spend driving to and from Units in Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Missouri often surprises people. I easily drive up to 4K miles a week Tuesday through Friday to Texas Prisons. 

My ongoing arguments with “Navigation Lady” are why when I have my copilot, partner and twin sister riding with me that we use “dueling navigation.” 

A few days ago, as usual, Navigation Lady had me on a dirt road for miles. I have rubber floor mats in all of my SUVs solely because getting stuck in the mud or dirt is a high probability. 

Thankfully, this week, I didn’t need to strip my floors and use the floor mats to gain traction out of another “stuck in the road” incident. Navigation Lady and I continue to go around and around with each other. Ugh. From herds of goats to buzzards and rocks breaking my windshield to deer running out in front of me, I’ve become a road warrior running to Prisons. Cindy has too. 

I’m always asked “are you ever afraid driving alone?” The answer is no. 

The only time in all of these years that I was intimidated about driving to a Unit was during an ice storm. Ironically, I had decided to take a Greyhound bus thinking it would be a safe option. Due to inclement weather, the Greyhound station in Wichita Falls was closed when I finally arrived. My client along with her mother and soon to be mother in law were at the station to pick me up and drive me to Allred Unit. 

Wondering how I would get home, my new friends gave me a ride back to Greyhound in Fort Worth. We had an amazing day together and enjoyed lunch along the way. Yes, my clients are resilient, resourceful and far more than just “clients.” They are mothers and fathers. They are sisters and brothers. On that icy day in February, my bride and both of her moms were also MY HEROES. The mother in law driving wasn’t the least bit intimidated about icy roads either. We laughed and laughed about my first time “hitchin a ride.”

Last year after hitting a deer, I hitched another ride to Michael Unit. Will I do anything to get to a Unit Wedding? Absolutely. But, if road closures prevent you or I from getting to the Unit, it’s best to reschedule. 

Please be aware that many TDCJ Units in the Beaumont, Houston and surrounding areas including Huntsville are experiencing phone problems. 

At this point, there have been no TDCJ evacuations from Units due to flooding. TDCJ regularly posts updates regarding safety and security measures and you can follow them on FB as well as Twitter.

Regarding Hurricanes in Texas… 

In responding to federal emergency response doctrine and, specifically, the National Response Framework (NRF), the State of Texas Emergency Management Plan (State Plan) takes into account the needs of the whole community of citizens likely to be affected by an incident or event that requires a state-level coordinated response.

The State Plan complies with Homeland Security Presidential Directive 5 (HSPD-5) “Management of Domestic Incidents” and Presidential Policy Directive 8 (PPD-8) “National Preparedness,” the “National Preparedness Goal,” and Texas Executive Order RP40, which mandates the adoption of the National Incident Management System (NIMS) as the “declared State standard for incident management.”

The State Plan is composed of a Basic Plan, functional annexes, and hazard annexes. 
The State Plan responds to Texas Government Code, Section 418.042, which directs the Texas Division of Emergency Management (TDEM) to “prepare and keep current a comprehensive state emergency plan.” The plan outlines the “coordination of federal, state, and local emergency management activities.”

Further, this annex sets forth cross-agency coordination responsibilities as agreed to by Emergency Management Council (EMC) agency representatives in response to their mandate, Texas Government Code, Section 418.013, to “assist the division [TDEM] in identifying, mobilizing, and deploying state resources to respond to major emergencies and disasters throughout the state.” 

The State Plan is designed to integrate with other state agency or entity plans and annexes when they are included as subordinate appendices or attachments to the State Plan.

Reschedules due to inclement weather… it’s rare to reschedule a wedding due to weather but it can and does occur. I was due at Cleveland Unit today and due to flooding, we are rescheduling. If we can’t get there, we can’t get you married. 

Reschedules are relatively easy the first time. Two reschedules though can get tricky. Why? Because at two reschedules, the Unit can require us to file a new I60.  

With winter right around the corner and the possibility of icy roads, it’s essential to keep an eye on the weather when planning to travel to the Unit. 

In the event that inclement weather prevents either you or I or us both from making it safely to the Unit, it’s in our best interest to reschedule although I know it’s a setback and you’ve been anxiously looking forward to wedding day. 

I’m mailing out this weeks bridal and groom photos and filing licenses for counties outside of Tarrant, Dallas and Parker via certified priority mail and looking forward to finally getting to Cleveland Unit soon to meet my bride. 

Stay safe and check the weather prior to driving to visits this weekend. Many phone lines have also been affected by the rain. Goree was having phone problems Wednesday as were other Huntsville Units. If you haven’t heard from your loved one, it may be due to the weather affecting the phone lines.

A few Units are short staffed due to the weather affecting employees ability to get to work.

Please call Units and check before driving to the Unit and double check your route for road closures this weekend.

Cindy and I are “all over Texas and Louisiana” in the next two weeks and look forward to meeting all of you very soon. 

Leigh Ann is finally moving into permanent housing from San Diego to Point Mugu, CA next week and looking forward to meeting our California Prison Clients in the coming months.

Cindy and I will be in California several times in the next few months at destination events as well as inmate weddings and as always look forward to returning to our home state. 

Wishing congrats to all of our clients this week and thankful I had time to grab a bite of lunch with my Goree Unit bride, Stephanie this week. If you need a mobile notary, Stephanie is your “go to gal.”I’ve had several inquiries regarding transportation to Units. In the Houston area, AM Transportation can help you. In the Dallas area, my Ellis Unit Client, Naquitua can assist you. 

Regarding Vow Renewals and scheduling of previous clients for rebookings.. please contact me ASAP to confirm availability. We are as excited as you are to celebrate your milestone and can’t wait to see you again!