Category: Property Of Wendy Wortham

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On The Inside Looking Out. Green Bay To Marlin To McClennan County To Mercado To Belltower To Omni…

I spend 3-5 days a week inside state and federal prisons as well as county jails, venues, military bases, backyards and other locations. I am the busiest Inmate Officiant in the United States. I’m also not limited to Texas. I’m licensed and certified to conduct inmate ceremonies in numerous states. 

What I’m not is “available to anyone.” I’m picky. I regularly turn down “traditional requests.” Why? I can and if it isn’t fun for me I’m not interested. I’m on staff at numerous venues and for years now the only traditional clients I’ve had were booked from a venue I am on staff at or repeat bookings. 

Frequently people “who found me on the internet” contact me. These people are neither prospects or interested in retaining services. These people are production companies, reporters or even others “who saw how successful I am and want me to teach them how to do what I’ve done or educate them regarding what I “do or who I do it for.” 

I’m not in the education industry. I’m an entrepreneur and expert in the prison weddings industry. If you’d like me to educate you, hire me as a consultant. If you’d like me to create competition I don’t have move along. 

I’m out of the demanding diva business. Instead, I focus on helping people who are thankful and appreciative. I can assure you none of my traditional clients send Christmas cards or check on my sister. 

My clients marrying an inmate are honest, real, raw, passionate and down to earth. I prefer working with them. I prefer driving down the road listening to music on another adventure. I don’t prefer working with divas. Thanks anyway. 

I don’t work for money anymore I work for fun. However, I’m not a volunteer and my time, experience and knowledge are valuable. I know my worth. 

Standing inside a prison with my clients gazing at razor wire glistening like diamonds in the sun, I’m often on the inside looking out. Literally. 

A few months ago, I married a client on the outside who had been inside for twenty years. Johnny had been to three TDCJ Units. I knew all three. I’ve been to them many times over the years. Johnny is a success story. He is an amazing husband and good friend too. 

Johnny was beginning life after lock up. I met Johnny and Brenda and drove them to the clerks office to buy their license. My team and I loaned the flowers and set up their backyard for the wedding. On February 3rd I had first met David at the Tarrant County Clerks Office. He was nervous about buying the license. Most of my clients are. 

Since I was filing licenses from my weekend of weddings, I told David to meet me at 9:30AM. David like all of my clients was excited and nervous. 

The clerks office can be intimidating but Tarrant County is one of the friendliest clerks offices in Texas. The number of times I’ve met clients at Tarrant, Dallas and Parker County Clerks Office’s surprises people. But I’m by far more than “just an Officiant.” My role is that of an advisor, a hand holder, the mother of the bride and often in such cases as David, a mother figure walking him through a complicated process. 

Today at Marlin Unit, David married his best friend. Their joy was evident. I’m performing their Vow Renewal in just a few months in Fort Worth. I love happy endings. 

I get things done. I have a jam packed schedule and I’ve never advertised. Each and every ceremony is custom created for my clients. Their ceremonies are as special as they are. 

I am detail oriented and OCD. I’m a list maker, task taker, pioneer and trailblazer. David like all of my clients had “heard about me.” My reputation is my calling card. He knew he could entrust me with the complicated process of getting him married and he was right.

This morning as I headed to Green Bay Unit for an 8:30AM wedding, I took a call from someone who had listed my name on paperwork at Allred but HAD NOT HIRED ME. For weeks now, phone calls from this someone who thinks I’m going to alter my schedule to accommodate her needs without following my booking procedures has been stressful. I don’t need stress in my life. I enjoy what I do and I don’t have to work. I certainly don’t work for anyone who hasn’t bothered to hire me. 

I cannot stress this point enough.., if you haven’t hired me I will not be conducting your ceremony. 

Due to the workload of a Unit often spending weeks to process the I60, Allred Unit will now call me to verify client status. I advised the caller today of my tight schedule and why attempting to schedule herself on February 19th at Allred wouldn’t work. I’ve had this discussion before with her regarding February 5th when she failed to hire me and also failed to show up. I don’t have time to play games with anyone. Pay me don’t play me. 

My patience with this young lady as well as the Chaplains patience at Allred Unit have been with paper thin. I CANNOT and WILL NOT commit to anyone who has not committed to me. Arguing with her after learning she had called Allred and attempted to put herself on my schedule February 19th when I obviously don’t have time since I’m at Roach on the same day was an escapade in Futility. My schedule is tight. 

On Wednesday after consistently telling the two people who used my name without hiring me to send money or stop contacting me, I posted the following update to enlighten anyone unaware that Cole to Allred or Allred to Roach or Cole to Hodge or Hodge to Ferguson are an all day affair of driving for me and why I will not commit to anyone who isn’t a booked client to clarify… 

Attention TDCJ Allred Unit Clients, after a lengthy conversation with Chaplain Redwine and due to my schedule which often has me at other Units on the same day (Roach, Cole and Goree specifically), the Unit will NOW CALL ME rather than you to schedule. Why? Because a number of people have been using my name and credentials without hiring me to obtain a date at Allred Unit. 

Each couple has 20 minutes. My schedule is TIGHT. I allow for 20 minutes per couple in each Unit. I must factor time inside the Unit as well as travel in order to address additional clients on the same day. 

I can’t just “add someone” because I’m on site. That’s not fair to my existing clients and certainly won’t work with my schedule. 

On February 19th I have a confirmed client and only one confirmed client at Allred. Why only one? Because this client was initially booked on 02-05 but didn’t have her marriage license so we rescheduled. After rescheduling at Allred, another client was Approved at Roach. Because of this and the distance between Units, I knew that I only had time for one wedding at Allred before heading to Roach.  

Because I am also at Roach Unit on 02-19, I must leave Allred no later than 12:15PM in order to be at Roach by 2:30PM . Roach is 106 miles from Allred. 

Adding another client at Allred would effectively add another 20 minute ceremony at Allred. Because of the timeline I have I’m not adding anyone else on February 19th onto my schedule. I know my limitations and know who I have on my roster at Allred. If you aren’t on my roster though you aren’t a booked client and will need to book services. You will roll to March too. I have zero flexibility for any other weddings on the 19th at Allred. 

Since I have discussed this “time crunch” issue regarding several units on the same date at length with Chaplain Redwine, we are working together in order to make your Dream Event a reality at Allred Unit. 

Timing is critical for me. I’m never late and I never rush my clients. Whether I’m moving from Cole to Allred or Allred to Roach or Hodge to Goree since all of these Units use Wednesday’s, my schedule is carefully planned and mapped out. 

While Ferguson is also a Wednesday Unit, I rarely (if ever) schedule another Unit on a Ferguson Wednesday day. Why? Because Ferguson schedules at 1PM and after. Unless the other Unit is Goree, the possibility of moving from Allred, Cole or Roach to Ferguson on the same day isn’t even a remote possibility. Goree and Ferguson are close enough to be a possibility and schedule on Wednesday’s as well. 

The distance from Cole to Ferguson is approximately 3 hours and 15 minutes. The distance from Allred to Ferguson is approximately 4 hours and 22 minutes. The distance from Roach to Ferguson is approximately 5 hours and 43 minutes. The distance from Cole to Ferguson is approximately 3 hours and 19 minutes. The distance from Ferguson to Goree is approximately 30 minutes which makes a shift from Ferguson to Goree even possible on the same date. 

I know the exact distance between Units because I have to. While it’s possible to move from Tennessee Colony to Huntsville to Livingston, it’s not always possible to move from a Unit outside the distance of 2 hours to another Unit without careful planning. 

Only once have I moved from Huntsville to Gatesville on the same day. Why? Because the distance is nearly 3 hours. I prefer Units be within 2 hours on the same day to give me some degree of flexibility. Moving from Allred to Cole or Cole to Allred or even Cole to Roach is far and beyond two hours which is why I would never book Allred, Cole and Roach on the same date. It’s humanly impossible. 

Subsequently, I would never book Allred and Ferguson or Goree or even Hodge on the same date. The distance from Hodge to Allred is approximately 4 hours and 19 minutes. 

I prefer to book Hodge when I’m scheduled at a Huntsville Unit. Why? Because I can easily move from Rusk to Huntsville. Approximate distance between Rusk and Huntsville? One hour and thirty nine minutes. 

For a few years now in Texas, I’ve had Units and even people I’ve talked to that didn’t book services call me “about a date.” If someone or the Unit is calling me “about a date” and I don’t recognize the name, the person isn’t my client. This is a real problem and it continues to happen. 

To correct this continuing issue of people listing me on I60’s without bothering to book me, Units are working with me to stop working on paperwork for a wedding that isn’t going to happen. 

Last year, Hodge Unit called me “about a date with my client.” I didn’t have anyone on my books for Hodge and advised the Chaplain of this fact. The Chaplain at Hodge Unit gave me the contact information of this person and I called her. She had expected me to officiate her wedding without hiring me and was surprised to hear that “I wasn’t in any way obligated to drive 3 hours one way simply because she found my name on the internet.” After a phone call with her and carefully explaining why “I wouldn’t volunteer to drive 6 hours round trip at my own expense because she found my name on the internet and used it on the I60” I called the Unit and cancelled. 

For anyone unaware of this, an Approved I60 with my name on it for someone who hasn’t hired me is a problem for them because I can cancel the wedding. Using my name and not bothering to book me doesn’t obligate me in any form to show up hours away. Why? Because I have booked clients that followed procedure expecting me on site at their wedding and if I’m not on site there won’t be a wedding. 

If you aren’t my client, don’t expect me to drop everything and volunteer. I drive 1500-3k miles a week. I’m busy. I’m driving to meet clients who actually HIRED ME. 
Further, I cannot and will not “move another client” who has followed my booking procedure and has been waiting for 1-3 months aside just because “someone else” who hasn’t followed booking procedures expects me to do so. 

Don’t ASSUME my schedule or my availability. Don’t assume that you are more important than someone else. Everyone waits. If you are holding a contract and haven’t returned it, I can assure you that calling me about a date isn’t going to go well. I know exactly how many clients are on my books each and every month. Many roll over during the waiting process. Meaning that as well as roll over clients I have new clients each month. 

At any given time I have up to 30 clients waiting on dates. I limit new bookings in order to be available. I never overbook myself. This is to ensure my availability. 
My priority is the booked client. My priority is getting to my next Unit in time. My priority is keeping my promises. I ALWAYS KEEP MY PROMISES. 

What my priority isn’t is accommodating someone or even several someone’s who were aware of my being on site at a Unit and expecting me to simply “add them into my schedule as a courtesy.”This isn’t how my booking procedure or my schedule work. 

Let’s review how and what create a client relationship one more time. 1. I mail you a contract. 2. The contract outlined the terms of the deal and requires a deposit. 3. When a client returns the contract we create a client file and return a receipt and signed contract to the client. If you are returning a contract without a deposit, the contract requires a deposit. Because this has occurred in the past I’m going to go over why we hold a contract and wait on the deposit prior to creating a client file, I cannot commit to someone who isn’t committing to me. 

My contracts are very specific and require a booking deposit. 
Expecting me to officiate your wedding simply because you are aware I will be on site is not only line jumping but also arrogant. 

My booked clients and my schedule are my PRIORITIES. 

If you are NOT ON MY BOOKS YOU ARE NOT ON MY SCHEDULE. 

If you have not returned your contract AND your deposit, you are not a booked client and not my responsibility. I cannot be clearer about this. 

I do not advertise. I do not book more clients than I can address and I regularly bump new inquiries for bookings to the following month in order to ensure availability for my existing clients. 
Many TDCJ Units are now requiring the last 4 digits of my drivers license number to limit people pulling my name and then using my credentials to obtain a date for marriage at a Unit. This has to stop. It creates work for the Unit and surprise phone calls for me. I don’t like surprises and Units don’t either. Without an Approved Officiant on site there won’t be a wedding. 

The paperwork on a Units end to process an I60 is time consuming. Because of this, processing paperwork for a wedding that isn’t obviously going to happen without an Officiant, Texas Units will now requesting information about me that isn’t listed anywhere on the internet or having me contact to confirm. If you are not my client, I will advise the Unit of this and “your date” will be cancelled. 

While driving to meet my client at Ferguson Unit, one of the people who had listed me on the I60 at Allred but not bothered hiring me at Allred called me. Driving along I prepared to go over why and how rescheduling on the 19th weren’t going to work for her. 

She has now had three weeks to actually book services and still hasn’t bothered to do so. 

While she’s holding that contract though my schedule continues to book up with actual clients effectively bumping her opportunity to actually book services AND obtain a date with me. 

Since this bride had been on the schedule 02-05 as Chaplain Redwine has added her knowing I had four other clients on the same day. Chaplain Allred was unaware I was also at Cole on the same day. 

She had bothered to call Allred to cancel 02-05 but didn’t bother contacting me regarding this matter as she assumed my availability and somehow assumed she didn’t need to book services either. 

I confirm bookings at Units. Why? Because my schedule requires planning that’s why. First, this bride doesn’t book or retain services THEN assumes she can reschedule her wedding and my schedule without retaining me? What the? Now you are catching on as to why obtaining your Officiant and services is and should be a priority. Without following procedure, I can assure you that no one else is going to officiate your ceremony either. 

Frankly on 02-05 I had “timed to the second” my actual booked clients at Allred and the drive time necessary to get to the Unit along with icy roads. 

The timing was critical as I had not only clients at Allred but also clients at Cole on 02-05. I could not be LATE to either Unit. I am NEVER late. 

I advised her of all of the reasons that assuming she could just show up and I would have time to address her although she had made no commitment to me wouldn’t work on 02-05 OR on 02-19 AND she still hadn’t booked me EITHER. 

On 03-04 I’m at Cole and Roach. I advised her that she would need to actually booked me for a secondary date in March and that 03-04 wasn’t an option either as I don’t have time for Cole, Allred and Roach on the same day. I’m being serious. Cole to Allred is 3 hours. Allred to Roach is 2 hours. 

Pertaining to my actual clients at Allred, the arrival time at Allred is going to be changed after 02-16-2020 to 10:30 check in for 11AM ceremonies after 02-19-2020.

Outside of the McClennan County Jail waiting on my clients, Allred Non Client called me AGAIN. She had sent another text that read “Chaplain Dooley won’t believe me. You have to call him.” Why would I? She still hadn’t booked me and quite frankly I don’t want to be a nervous wreck adding another client at Allred on a really tight scheduling day.

I don’t have to do anything for someone who hasn’t hired me going behind my back and attempting to piggyback my tight schedule. 

Because I had 41 text messages by the time I walked out of Marlin today, I had my Apple play app read text messages as I drove towards Waco. It’s easier to talk text and drive and safer. 

Persistently pesky non client continues to disrupt my day again today. What she didn’t do was send money. I had ignored her latest text. Why? Because at 10:44AM this morning I had already told her to wire money. I meant it. Chaplain Redwine and Dooley are well aware she hasn’t hired me. How? I told them. 

I would not call the Unit an add her onto my burdensome schedule UNTIL she paid my fee in full. By the time she left the text while I was in Marlin Unit, she had finally realized that she couldn’t simply add herself to my schedule. Yet she refuses to send money? She’s a waste of my time. I know it, The Unit knows it and I’m guessing she knows it too.

She has consistently refused to follow protocol. NOW she was texting me? On a 7 Client day? My contracts require payment in full SEVEN DAYS PRIOR TO THE EVENT DATE.

Either you are serious about marrying an inmate or you aren’t but I can assure you that I’m not going to cut a booked clients event short or risk running late because someone who has consistently failed to follow my protocol assumes they are entitled. They aren’t. 

You are either a booked client or you aren’t and if you aren’t, you are not on my schedule. PERIOD. 

Due to the consistent misuse of my credentials by people pulling my name off the internet, Units are now requiring me to contact and verify client status.

I’m leaving Mercado Event Center to head to Belltower Chapel before heading to Omni Hotel for a midnight wedding. I have another full weekend of events. What I don’t have is time to deal with people who cannot or will not follow my protocol. My time is valuable. I don’t waste time on people who aren’t worthy of my time or my attention…

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Wonderful Surprises And Happily Ever Afters…Life Events & The Endurance Of Love…

A few years ago, I married Trishelle at Michael Unit. A few months ago, Trishelle sent me a text that her husband was finally coming home. Their life after lock up as a family would finally begin. I love happy endings.

Trishelle’s mother and best friends had joined her in the drive to Tennessee Colony and because guests weren’t allowed inside the Unit, they waited with Cindy while Trishelle drove me in her car to Michael Unit. My very first maximum security prison wedding. The razor wire looked like it had been encrusted with diamonds in the sun. The guard towers and the size of the Unit were intimidating. Michael Unit has a reputation of being Texas Tough Prison. 

Looking at it through the passenger window, I was thankful that Trishelle was driving. Why? Because I was nervous. I felt intimidated. I had been at Sanders Estes Unit a minimum security Unit and assumed that other Units would be equal to it. I was wrong. Michael is massive and back then it was also intimidating to me. I mustered up the courage to tell Trishelle “I’m a bit terrified.” Trishelle laughed and said “Miss Wendy, I’m here every weekend and I know the drill. You’re with me and you will be fine.” My anxiety and claustrophobic tendencies were running high but I trusted Trishelle and her experience so… in we went. 

Taking off our shoes, belts and jewelry, we carefully put them into the containers to screen in. After a pat down, we handed our ID’s to the correctional officer at the desk and awaited our escort to the visitation area. Walking through the yard, I couldn’t help but look back at that razor wire. 

Entering the visitation area, our groom was escorted out. Vending machine trash was around the area so I moved my couple away from it to the center of the room. Trishelle was wearing a tee shirt that read Mrs Fontenot. She would change into her wedding dress later at her photo shoot with me. 

She was excited and happy and I was far more comfortable once I knew what to expect. Hearing door after door “clank” behind us, I didn’t know it then but it would take several units for me to stop jumping when I heard the clanking. We bought the photos of my newly married couple taken by a correctional officer at the Unit.The couple couple shared a brief kiss and we were escorted out of the Unit. There are no special visits at weddings. We are escorted in and escorted out within 25 minutes. 

Walking back to the parking area, I was relieved and thankful to have had Trishelle by my side throughout my first visit to a maximum security Unit. 

Driving back to meet Trishelle’s mom and friends as well as Cindy, we headed to do her bridal photos and change into her wedding dress. Cindy and I had packed bouquets and an suv of fun items for photos.Seeing Trishelle and her mom as well as Trishelle’s husband again yesterday was truly a delight and happy ending to an amazing journey. 

Lisa had contacted me to marry her to her ex husband 33 years after divorcing him. Love ALWAYS finds a way. I was honored and thrilled to share this Life Event and see Trishelle again too. I had packed a long veil that Lisa wore and brought several bouquets for her to choose from. My twin sister, Cindy handled the photos and we had a wonderful time celebrating the endurance of love and the joy of a happy family reunited… 

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Love Will Find A Way TDCJ Allred Unit To TDCJ Scott Unit Travels Of A TDCJ Officiant..

A few weeks ago, I met Latonya at the Tarrant County Clerks Office to buy her marriage license. Country clerks are far less familiar with inmate marriage. It is not uncommon for me to redirect a client to another clerks office. This “redirection” isn’t limited to Texas either. Experience matters. I know what to do and how to overcome the unforeseen.

The number one reason for an I60 Request For Marriage to be denied is that the inmate is ALREADY listed as Common Law Married to someone other than my client. To overcome this effective suck punch, I created a Dissolution Agreement that I send out to clients with regularity. 

No one planning to marry an inmate expects to find that the inmate has secrets but, more and more frequently in Texas this continues to be the case. In ALL situations this CLM status wasn’t something any inmate forgot about. Why? Because the inmate filed this paperwork solely to have contact (not conjugal as Texas does not allow these types of visits) visits. No one likes the glass. Not the inmates nor the visitors either. This week alone I’ve mailed 9 Dissolution Agreements out. 

A few weeks ago, I had a voice mail regarding TDCJ Henley Unit. I returned the call en route to conduct a memorial in Dallas. This caller was out of state and had a number of questions. Out of state folks should certainly consider taking a Twogether In Texas Course online. Why? Because Texas has a 3 day waiting period. For many of my Texas clients, a three day waiting period won’t interfere with their employment but most people don’t have three days when traveling from another state to “wait around.” The course is $29 but also discounts the cost of the marriage license by $60 as well as waiving the waiting period. 

The number of calls, emails and texts I review on a daily basis from numerous prospects regarding marrying an inmate in our multi state service area shocks everyone. 

I’ve NEVER advertised AND ALWAYS kept my promises. That’s the secret to Cindy and I creating not one but four unique and successful diverse businesses as a Twin Team.

For clients marrying an inmate, buying the marriage license can be an intimidating and frightening ordeal. I ease the stress by holding their hand through the process. When possible, I even meet my clients on site at the clerks office.A few weeks ago, I not only met but also drove my traditional clients, the Andersons to the clerks office to purchase their marriage license. 

Johnnie had made a successful life after lock up. Sharing his journey from TDCJ Michael to Allred to Ramsey, my client literally turned his life around and married Brenda last weekend at his new home in Fort Worth. Johnnie also owns a cleaning company and if you need the job done right the first time, Johnnie’s Onda Spot is your go to DFW service provider. My job has many roles. Parking and finding the right office can be intimidating to my clients so I ease their burden by either meeting them and walking in to the clerks office or picking them up and driving them myself. 

Allred Unit in Iowa Park is just a few miles outside Wichita Falls. Beyond Allred Unit are my other Units lined right up from Roach to Jordan to Clements. My son laughs because I don’t recall the names of cities I travel to. Instead, I recall the names of the Units.

An overcast sky and rain meant wet bridal shoots for Latonya and Cassandra which bothered me but I can’t control the weather although I wish I could for my clients.My Coffield Unit bride, Cassandra who was scheduled to marry in Tennessee Colony a few weeks ago and was advised by the Unit that her loved one had “caught a chain” and wasn’t at Coffield 48 hours prior to her wedding which is also emotionally upsetting but, Wednesday afternoon I married Latonya and Cassandra both at Allred Unit. Love always finds a way. 

Inmate transfers continue to be a shocking surprise to clients who have been waiting for months to marry but, we will be following your loved one and marry you at the new Unit. Don’t panic. Stay calm. You will get married. 

Catching a chain is a setback but a minor setback that can and will be overcome. I pass chain buses everyday and worry that the Unit I’m headed to has put my clients loved one on a chain bus passing me on the highway as I head to a Unit. It’s happened before and may happen again.

Unit photos continue to be less than we could hope for but Unit photos are hit and miss at all Texas Units. Buster Cole won the “worst Prison wedding pic” among my clients a few months ago. Why? Let’s take a look. My brides beautiful dress wasn’t visible in the Unit photo at all. To overcome this issue, I studied the photo to try and decide what exactly made her photo so dark? Was it the camera? By the way, I’ve had good news from my first Buster Cole client that they are finally going to live happily ever after and plan a Vow Renewal very soon. They have a real love story with a back story too. All of my clients have fascinating back stories.

I decided that the window was what caused the dark shadowing of my couple and at my next visit to Buster Cole, moved my clients away from the window. 

At my next visit to Buster Cole, I had another unexpected hurdle with the Unit advising my client that her clothes were too tight. 

To overcome this problem, I went out to my suv and grabbed an outfit from my dry cleaning. My client wore my clothes to her wedding which is why they appear a little large. This occurs more than anyone realizes. I come prepared.Leaving the Unit, I found an old building for her bridal photos. I’m always looking for unique locations near Units for photos. 

Many of you have been following the saga of two brides and one groom. This is a pickle. But, my North Dakota pen pal has moved on. We talk daily and I’ve successfully walked her through the heartache of being duped. The other bride intent on marrying at Ellis Unit sent me a text last night about cold feet. The problem? This wedding is scheduled for 11-12-2019 and right around the corner. 

Since I was driving back from TDCJ Scott Unit, I had my son (who had accompanied me on an all day adventure) answering incoming texts. I instructed Robbie to type my concerns and questions via text to Valerie. 

For someone so determined to marry just a few weeks ago, things have turned sour and I wanted to know why. I discussed at length that love is trust to Valerie and that the inmate specifically hid his pen pal relationship from her. 

If I see flags that you don’t, it’s because I’m old and wise and also because long after the glitter from your wedding has settled, the pain of a divorce will remain. I warn you for solid reasons. I’m every clients mother, advisor, cheerleader and occasionally a shoulder to cry on or the first person they call with good news. I wear many hats. 

Apparently, the Ellis inmate and his attitude are the reason my client (the winner of the two woman battle for one man controversy) is having second thoughts. 

I’ve said this before but it bears repeating so here it goes… if an inmate is controlling you from behind bars, things will not improve when they are in the free world. Establish clear boundaries now. Know YOUR WORTH. Put your needs first. If you don’t who will?

This Ellis inmate “played” the pen pal in North Dakota by pretending to love her. He also financially benefitted from being dishonest with and to her. My new friend in North Dakota was crushed. She was also bullied online because she truly believed the inmate had planned to marry her. 

How did North Dakota find out about San Antonio and the inmate who lied? An online forum for prison support. A posted photo was quickly addressed as someone planning to marry that was the very same photo my North Dakota friend had. Raul was “making the rounds.” 

This inmate was also “busted” when someone in a prison group recognized his photo and his name and told my North Dakota client he was marrying someone else from San Antonio. Wow. Like a movie script with too many plot lines, the hits from this scenario just keep coming. 

 “Pressure can burst a pipe, or pressure can make a diamond” 

Tony Dorsett

Prison Groups are tight and loyal. It should be noted that no one wants to get played. No one wants to get hurt. Protect your heart and your pocketbook folks because this pen pal situation gave not only me but also Brandi and Valerie a real eye opener regarding inmate pen pals and unsuspecting women who can be taken easily be taken advantage of by inmates playing not one but many people in the free world. 

Trust is essential to love. If you cannot trust someone how can you love them? I spent a week going over this with both Valerie and Brandi. But, Valerie was determined to marry Raul.

Valerie’s texts regarding “buying her own ring and paying for her own wedding” were accurate. All of my clients marrying an inmate foot the bills. Dedication, perseverance, loyalty and more are required to love an inmate. Financially the burden can be a heavy cross to bear but if an inmate is playing you for money and money is a driving force, WALK AWAY. 

One Gatesville inmate played a man for so much money that the story was featured in D Magazine. Also, after exhausting his income, this senior was found dead at his apartment in Gatesville after a visit from the inmates daughter to his home. His daughters suspected foul play and they were right.

“If you have to BUY someone’s AFFECTION, it’s not LOVE. You are making a PURCHASE. Know the difference.” 

This mornings phone call to one client involved me talking her out of a payday loan to marry an inmate. Payday loan interest amounts can easily range from 500-800% in Texas. Going into debt to marry an inmate is not in YOUR BEST INTEREST. I advised her to push the wedding back until after tax season instead. My advice is frank and always blunt. The inmate isn’t my client either. The “person on the outside doing it all alone” is my client. Protecting them is important to me.

After traveling with me to Allred Unit Wednesday, my son was in my driveway at 4:30AM yesterday to head to Angleton, TX. Generally Cindy is my copilot but one of my twin grandnieces had collapsed at school Tuesday due to an asthma attack that required hospitalization. The twins both have asthma. 

Maryssa (below next to Cindy far right) has stopped breathing entirely on 3 occcasions at school and required hospitalization. Due to Maryssa nearly dying at school the first time, Cindy and I fought for students in Texas to have the right to carry emergency inhalers and won. 

On a side note, we also fought for parents to choose whether or not to separate multiples in school and Twin Laws were established. Why did we care? We were separated ourselves and knew how traumatic being forcibly separated by school administrators was to multiples. 

Driving through the rain, my son noticed my phone never stops ringing. My son works three jobs and has for many years. He works as a driver for his father at Mr G’s Carpets as well as handling directional advertising for my husband at Mc Bee Homes and for me at Texas Twins Events and TDCJ Officiants. Robert also performs inmate weddings at county jails. Cindy does as well and also performs prison weddings when not traveling with me to Prisons or meeting clients or flipping items together. Cindy and I are almost always together.

Five hours after leaving Fort Worth yesterday, Robbie and I arrived at TDCJ Wayne Scott Unit. My beautiful bride was wearing a 50’s styled dress that I loved! It’s always exciting to finally meet my clients in person. Marcella’s family was waiting for her at the hotel so we followed her back and began unloading items for her bridal photo shoot. My son had a little trouble with my longest veil and the wind lol. People are always surprised at just how many miles I log in a week. Cindy’s Husband is a truck driver who often compares his miles per week with me lol. Steve wins week after week. Steve has been a truck driver 50 plus years. My husband has been a builder 50 plus years.

Cindy and I are celebrating our 55th birthday this weekend because we are working on our birthday this year (as usual). 

Next Tuesday we are at Huntsville Units. Wednesday, we finally meet a filmmaker I’ve been talking to an emailing the past year regarding a documentary about prison relationships and marriage. Elena will fly into Hobby while I’m inside Ramsey Unit with Shenequil and join us for bridal photos following the wedding. 

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Michael Unit To Holliday Unit To Polunsky Unit. Travels Of A TDCJ Officiant…

Sharing the day with Cindy and I was an investigative journalist, Ella. She was in for a wild ride of running from one prison to the next with the Texas Twins. 

A day in my life is never boring. If you want to ride with me, you buckle up for adventure, laughs and a few surprises. 

Late Sunday, Ella and I coordinated my itinerary and her arrival. Due to Ella’s arrival time Monday at DFW, I had advised her to meet us on site at the Omni since there was no time to go to her hotel after landing at 2:30 and be on site in Dallas at 4PM. She had asked about the distance from DFW to her hotel and then to the Omni. Catching a Lyft from DFW to the Omni, Ella rolled her luggage right into the hotel lobby to meet my team. 

Learning that she had taken a Lyft rather than renting a car, I invited her to ride back with us but wondered where I would find room for her luggage? We worked it out lol. It was a tight fit but Ella was game to squeeze into my suv full of family and inventory like a pro. I liked her right off the bat. 

Ella was tiny and petite. She also probably had no real idea of what to expect. Most people google me and quickly realize I’m blunt and to the point. I don’t have time to be anything else. I get shit done and juggle clients and family with the fluidity of a seasoned tap dancer. I’m also ALWAYS on a tight timeline. My days are scheduled to the millisecond and leisurely lunches don’t fit into my lifestyle. I’m driven and difficult to keep up with. I’m also OCD. A list maker who always has a full plate and I like it that way.  Cindy is my sassy sidekick and partner. We do everything together. 

Ella quickly realized walking into the Omni that “structure with 5 children on site and an interview with me while chasing Leantrinette’s children” was out of the question and jumped right in to help my team. From handing inventory to rustling kids, Ella was quick to adapt to a really chaotic scene at the Omni. 

Normally, based on my schedule, Bridal or Groom Photos (complimentary and at no cost to clients) are scheduled before or after a Prison wedding.  I knew I wouldn’t have time between Holliday and Polunsky to do Leantrinette’s bridal photos so I shifted her to Monday instead. 

I should note that complimentary photography is reserved solely for clients marrying an inmate. Why? Because there is no cake, there is no music and prison photos are almost always disappointing. 

Out of focus, blurry prison photos are the only photos of my couple together so regardless of the quality, I purchase 3 Unit photos for $3 each in quarters for my clients. 

To solve the issues of “not having all of the things my traditional clients enjoy or take for granted,” I created an opportunity for my clients to celebrate their wedding day by bringing the party AKA my extensive inventory with me in my suv. 

Clients love their photo shoots with me and often tell me “my  photo shoot was the best part of my wedding day.” 

Finding unique spots for photos is challenging but I love a challenge! From veils to jewelry to hats, clothing, furs and more, clients excitedly open my trunk to find what’s in store. 

I had assumed that giving Ella a “heads up” about riding with me was in order. Why? I smoke, I cuss and my phone never stops ringing and I listen to 70’s music. Spending 15-17 hours in the car with me requires a heads up on what to expect. My salty language surprises a few people but I can’t change who I am to fit into a mold of what others expect. I’m a workaholic. A problem solver. Bold, transparent and unfiltered. Cindy is as well. Together we make a helluva team but we love 70’s hits and Marlboro Smooth 100’s and we are accustomed to spending all day in an suv together. Ella was ready for a jam packed 48 hours with the Texas Twins. 

Ella squeezes into my suv with my son, my daughter in law, her cousin, my twin and and with Ella’s suitcase, 17 bouquets, 15 tiaras, 12 bouteniers, numerous signs and 10 fascinators. We were loaded into my trusty suv like sardines in a can. 

Cindy and I were familiar with Leantrinette as she had requested that we do birthday photos of her mom for a surprise party in Dallas several months ago at Pappasitos. 

We rarely meet clients in person prior to wedding day but had met Leantrinette and her family. 

Photo shoots with children are tricky. Someone is always looking the other way. Someone is usually cranky or bored. We roll with photo shoots involving children because shooting for perfection is a hit and miss and because I’m always on a timeline. Leaving the Omni, I drove my crew and Ella to dinner. Ella had been introduced to the Texas Twins Events Team under a literal trial by fire of kids running everywhere, chaos and one toddler running into my pregnant daughter in law’s stomach. 

Bombarding the Omni as if we owned the place, Cindy was worried we would be asked to leave with all the craziness going on. 

To give you a clue about how crazy it was to attempt to orchestrate photos, here’s a video link- Texas Twins Events, Kids, Chaos & Clients chasing children on location? Yep. Welcome to my world. 

Occasionally, I do have children who love to have their picture taken as I did at Wallace Unit but it is a rare occurrence. The girls and little boy at Wallace loved playing dress up and enjoyed having their pictures taken. My trunk was a toy chest. Tuesday morning, while preparing to leave, Ella sent a text needing black socks. Due to the hour, there wasn’t anywhere to buy socks so I brought a pair of my own. 

Loaded up and leaving Fort Worth, our nearly twenty hour day would take us to many places.

Arriving in Tennessee Colony, I finally met Tonya. We had become fast friends during her prison planning process due to a number of hurdles. Getting Tonya married took months. There was a hold up at Michael Unit that concerned me due to my timeline. As Cindy and Ella waited in my suv, Tonya and I waited an hour and a half. Increasingly alarmed, I asked why we were still waiting and explained to the guard my need to be hours away at Holliday Unit at 2:30PM. The hold up was another Officiant running late AND under dressed with her client. We were waiting on the warden to bring a cafeteria smock to this “other Officiant.” Ugh. It’s a prison folks dress appropriately ESPECIALLY if you are an Officiant. You are expected to know policy and procedure and above all… the dress code. That dress was so short that the 3 inch above the knee guideline had been stretched to 3 feet! What the? Come on. I was as irritated as my client that this “other Officiant” had held us up by under dressing. 

Because of this unexpected delay, I asked to do my Ceremony first and explained why due to my schedule. Thankfully, the guard knew me and my bride and I walked outside for her ceremony while waiting for the camera. Realizing this could easily take 20-30 minutes that I didn’t have, I handed my quarters to Tonya at 12:17PM to run through the Unit back out to my suv. Thank God we did Tonya’s wedding photos before heading to Michael Unit. Cindy and Ella were panicking in my suv that we would be late for Leantrinette at Holliday Unit. I literally hauled ass on backroads with no time to stop for food or the bathroom.

Arriving with 5 minutes to spare at Holliday, Leantrinette was on site and ready to go. Leantrinette was thrilled to finally marry the father of her children twelve years later. We had a minor set back screening in due to Leantrinette’s top. Thankfully, she had a tank under it that I pulled up in the front and down in the back to cover cleavage and the need for a cafeteria smock. 

Running from Holliday to Polunsky, there was no time for a restaurant but during a gas stop, we used the restroom and grabbed snacks to drive on.

Arriving at Polunsky, Lastacia was right behind us at the guard gate. She loved the corsage and necklace set I had brought with me and wore them into the Unit. Leaving the Unit, we followed our TDCJ media relations escort to our photo area. Thank you Mr Durst! Lastacia loved the bouquet I had created for her photo shoot and Cindy’s coordinating fascinator.

Back on the road by 7PM, our four hour drive home was long but our day was productive giving our clients a wedding day as special as they are… 

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Sunday Morning Surprises, Event Set Ups, & Security Alarms In Saginaw. Sagas & Setbacks…

At 3:47AM this morning, the alarm company called my husband regarding one of the model homes in Saginaw. With model homes in several cities, the alarm company is now a regular caller. There goes another good nights sleep at WorthamWorld. 

My husband assumed that “one of the subcontractors must have been in the model home last night because there wasn’t a forced entry.” On a Saturday night past midnight? In a model home? Why would a subcontractor be at a model home at that hour? Hmm. My detective skills on this mystery would come up off base but, I gave it a shot as my husband explained the alarm company telling him “the garage and front door are open.” Alarmed, he hightailed it on over to Saginaw. 

The same development that all year long has had too much rain continuing to slow down the building process. Every weather report of rain literally “hits Saginaw.” 

Here’s my guess on the latest alarm company call, they were either drinking or using the model home for a tryst? A secret meeting? A date night? 

My husband didn’t like any of my ideas or wild guesses and instead went looking for a more “appropriate answer” to the mystery. 

At 8AM this morning, Matthew drove over to Saginaw to put his own detective skills to work while assuring me that none of the contractors or subcontractors would be snooping around a model home. 

Apparently, the salesperson had not secured the garage which apparently slid open during the evening and effectively also set off the alarm. 

My theories on how the alarm was set off this time were (apparently) far more exotic.  In defense though, these late night alarm company calls have been coming in for years now. 

My husbands job can be an interesting mix now and then. A few weeks ago, another builder came by offering to hire his subcontractors while on the job! I found this to be wildly shocking. Apparently, competing homebuilders will do anything to find good help days. WOW. 

I’m going to address a few questions regarding Vow Renewals in this blog for clients trying to find creative ways to budget. First, there’s no requirement for elaborate centerpieces. In fact, you can get creative by renting large or tall candlabras and simply adding a bit of foliage that will drop down from the top tiers. You can use silk or fresh foliage to create the same effect. No candles allowed? No problem, use electric candles. Simplicity can still be elegant. For clients wishing to borrow centerpieces, I generally keep 19-24 centerpieces in stock. 

Centerpieces I have in stock are multi color and no, I can’t “cover 37-52 tables.” What I can do is suggest mixing your own centerpieces with what I’m loaning to you.

Try “mixing in” money trees or even photos of the couple on the surrounding tables. Going tall on all of the tables can and does pose problems for photographers and videographers.

Meanwhile…when I had booked my Grapevine Botanic Garden Bride a month ago, I had also asked “do you need to borrow floral designs?” 

At the time, she only needed one bouquet for herself and a boutenier for her groom. No bridesmaids. No groomsmen. Last night, seven days before her wedding, this changed. She now has a maid of honor and a bridesmaid as well as a best man and a groomsmen as well as the groom. 

For all of my dedicated readers, if you are planning to borrow my inventory for your upcoming Vow Renewal, it’s critical you ask what I have in inventory PRIOR to assuming that I have everything you need. I work seven days a week and cannot “whip something up on short notice and at my OWN expense.” 

I keep one full set of bouquets and bouteniers in stock each year but I do not keep full sets of all of my bouquets for wedding parties. My bride wanted the pink multi which I had a coordinating bridesmaids bouquet and two coordinating bouteniers of. 

Changing the number of bouquets and bouteniers a week prior to the wedding would normally be impossible without changing to my full set of red, white and black. Why? Because my bride wasn’t booking me as a florist she was booking me as an Officiant. 

I am the only Officiant and planner in this industry who has created an inventory to loan clients. That’s right. I said LOAN. My clients BORROW my inventory at no cost to them as a courtesy. 

However, if you want to choose your colors or expect me to create new designs in your colors or more bouquets or bouteniers because I don’t have the number you need in stock, this isn’t a free request. 

It’s time consuming to create floral designs. It’s also expensive. My Grapevine bride “got lucky.” How so? Because last week my Darrington bride asked if I had two bouquets for her sisters that would be traveling with her to her Prison wedding that would coordinate with my pink multi. 

Since I only had one coordinating bouquet, I checked my floral baskets and found that I didn’t have enough silk flowers to create a 3rd coordinating bouquet and “started fresh” on two more bouquets that would work with the pink multi last Tuesday. 

The 2 finished bouquets will work with the pink multi well. I had a few additional flowers so I made 2 coordinating bouteniers. 

Because I had created two more bouquets, I could accommodate the “add on” bouquets and bouteniers for Grapevine next weekend. If I hadn’t, the only option would be for my bride to either “switch” to the red multi or to provide her own floral designs at her own expense. 

Rolling into another full week of prison weddings, an inquiry from North Carolina came in. Demetria- We don’t currently service North Carolina but this may change over the next year. 

Expanding our services to other states works like this… We stack clients in states outside of Texas and marry numerous couples on the same day in major cities of other states. The reason for this is to reduce travel expenses to one client. 

If we are traveling to Oklahoma, Arkansas or Louisiana (all states within close proximity to Texas), we have a bit more flexibility to keep costs low by driving rather than flying. 

If the Unit is in a state that requires flying, we wait until we have a minimum of 3-5 clients wishing to marry in the state outside of our standard service areas. 

I am hoping this explanation clarifies why our other clients in states beyond driving distance from Texas wait on their ceremonies. They are stacked with other clients in the same cities or close proximity in order to limit travel and expenses.

Many institutions in other states and have different policies and procedures which vary. Certain states including Texas allow the use of an Absentee Affidavit while other states require that the inmate cover expenses of transportation to the clerks office to purchase a marriage license in person. 

Many states only allow inmate marriage once or twice a year while other states require a 3 month premarital course. In Texas, prison weddings are scheduled two days per month at TDCJ Units. 

Due to scheduling and our existing staff, Texas is and always will be our busiest Prison wedding booking state. 

However, due to requests and inquiries from states outside of Texas, our service area has expanded and continued to expand to other states. 

Availability is key to addressing new requests and bookings outside our standard service area. If you are willing to wait until we book more clients in your area as our other states do, we can make accommodations once we have enough clients to make the trip worthwhile. 

I do not currently have a vendor in North Carolina that I’m familiar enough with to refer you to because I’m cautious with referrals. If I don’t know someone’s track history or work ethics, I DO NOT REFER THEM to others. My reasons for this are that there are people out there taking advantage of single income families and I’m well aware of the issues people wishing to marry an inmate face on a single income. 

The last thing anyone planning to marry an inmate needs is to be taken advantage of. Be cautious. Ask questions. Get a contract. I’m well aware of someone else servicing Arkansas that refuses to help you through the paperwork process. 

A Prison wedding planner should be assisting you through this complicated process and if they aren’t and simply planning to show up, you need to factor their contributions accordingly and ask yourself if they are worth your investment? What’s their track record? Will they show up on wedding day? Can you trust them to be on time? 

Anyone planning to marry an inmate is entitled to have their questions addressed and answered. If your Officiant is saying “I don’t know” or “that’s not my job” is that really the person you want to entrust your Life Event with? 

Weddings are Life Events regardless of where they take place. You deserve to have your questions answered and your concerns addressed. 

I’m going to once again revisit and define how borrowing my inventory works. Over the years, I’ve had to explain to clients borrowing my inventory “you cannot throw or keep my floral designs” again and again. Throwing them damages them. Also, the person catching them wants to keep them. 

I don’t have a “Flower Fairy” gifting me with new inventory. I’ve spent thousands of dollars and countless hours creating my inventory. 

Please be considerate of my investment and efforts put in place solely for your benefit. 

If you want custom designs or colors, Cindy and I no longer sell designs or take custom orders. You will need to hire a florist to accommodate requests for items we do not have in stock. If you aren’t a client, I do not and will not consider loaning my property to you. Loaned items are solely for booked clients and at my discretion. 

Loaned inventory is a courtesy to our booked clients. I didn’t go to the trouble or the expense of creating my inventory in order to loan it to strangers booking with another vendor. Instead, I created an inventory for my own clients to borrow. Loaned inventory is what I have in stock. Custom colors or custom designs are custom orders that clients will need to provide at their own expense.

Wendy M Wortham