Category: Experience Matters

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People who love an inmate or an addict are the strongest people I’ve ever met…

Everyday across America people who love an inmate or an addict go to work. They put their normal faces on and hide their pain and sorrow. They have bills to pay and the obligations to address. They are also living in a world they never expected devoid of structure and any degree of predictability.

I noticed the similarities of these two groups of people years ago. One set of people who love an inmate and the other set of people who love an addict.

You see up to 90% of my clients marry an inmate. I’m often the one person that they can confide in. I don’t judge anyone. My twin sister and I have both shared a painful path that may be different from that of people who love an inmate but I can assure you that loving an addict is also a minefield of painful perseverance that most people will never understand.

Both people who love an inmate and people who love an addict rarely have any degree of support from society as a whole. We are a unique group of people that are living proof that love is the strongest emotion regardless how difficult and painful it may be to love an inmate or an addict or a combination of the two scenarios. Why a combination of both an addict and an inmate? Because it’s not uncommon for an inmate to be incarcerated because of their addiction. In fact it’s quite common. Our baby brothers son, Frankie is in Union County Jail for violating probation for drugs then stealing a vehicle and driving through a bar to rob it. Our brother is beside himself with grief as is his wife. They’ve had 8 years with their sons addiction. Cindy and I have had 20 years of her daughters addiction. Addicts destroy your life and your health.

For twenty years my twin sister and I have been through raw & sheer hell. Why? Her youngest daughter, Stephaney is an addict. You will never know the raw sheer trauma of raising a child who becomes an addict UNLESS you’ve lived it. I’m damn serious.

Our entire lives have been affected by the choices of addicts. What do I mean by that? Our mother, Sharon Hill sold (that’s right I said sold this sale was recorded) all 4 of her children for $50 each. Why was this taped? Because our grandfather used that tape to silence us while reminding us “no one wants you not even your own mother. You are bought and paid for. Don’t ever forget it.” Our grandfather (fathers father) was a Pedophile.

At 15 years old, Wendy and Cindy ran away with the clothes on our backs. We had no money. We had no jobs. We had no car. We had no one to run to. I was pregnant. My father upon realizing this attempted to beat me into a miscarriage. Cindy jumped in front of me and suffered a beating herself. We ran. We ate out of dumpsters and hid from other people ashamed & dirty but alive.

Today homeless teens aren’t unusual or even rare but 43 years ago, a pair of twins who had been badly beaten were found by 2 Azle police officers who upon looking at us took us rather than back home to the Women’s Haven in Fort Worth, TX.

From the shelter to a $50 car we lived in for 9 months, we moved into an apt in the worst area of Fort Worth and couldn’t afford electricity for 3.5 years. Cindy was raped in that apartment. This tragedy would become a blessing because my family had taken my daughter, the same child my father had attempted to beat out of me that night in Azle, Anna from me. My father, his mother and father and even my aunt were hellbent to get Anna from me. No one in my family wanted me to keep the child Cindy and I had run away in order to save. They fought me over her and not having the income to fight back, they eventually won and took Anna from me. Leigh Ann filled the void losing Anna had left in my broken heart. I will never forgive them for what they took from me as long as I live and breathe but Cindy’s pregnancy healed my broken heart.

A lot of people won’t understand that Cindy and I raised our children as a team but it’s true. Cindy has 2 daughters, Leigh Ann and Stephaney. I have one son, Robert. We’ve never been lucky but we’ve always been resilient. We were determined to be the parents we had never known and honored our commitment to do so.

No parent expects a child they’ve raised to become an addict. Addiction doesn’t discriminate. Many people label people who love an addict as enablers. It’s easy for them to cast stones because they have no idea of the difficulty (mainly mothers of addicts as I’ve rarely met a father of an addict searching the streets over the past twenty years) as weak when in fact these warriors are strong. Mothers of addicts don’t give up easily. Their health suffers. Their finances are compromised paying for rehab after rehab. They feel isolated. Alone. Their own family members turn against them because they can’t stop trying to save an addict. They seek normality. They cannot buy peace. They become fearful of phone calls. They mourn the death of a child they’ve raised while they are still alive. This grief can best be described as Complicated Grief Syndrome. More often than not Complicated Grief Syndrome becomes Broken Heart Syndrome. Mothers of addicts health suffers greatly. It’s not uncommon for mothers of addicts to suffer heart attacks, strokes and cancer diagnosis.

My twin sister and I were at TDCJ Robertson Unit in Abilene, Texas when we read a group text “Mimis I’ve taken all of my anxiety meds because I don’t want to grow up and be like my mother.” Makenna one of the twins would be the first near death victim of Stephaney. We barely saved her. She was hospitalized for a month then moved by ambulance to Mesa Springs for suicidal ideation. She had never been away from Cindys home. You see Steph became pregnant at 15 and it was with twins. CPS was going to take the twins, Maryssa & Makenna. Cindy and I were 40 years old. Cindy saw Wendy and Cindy in NICU rather than Maryssa and Makenna. Cindy knew that if she didn’t act quickly those twins would suffer the same consequences Wendy and Cindy did BECAUSE our mother was an addict who abused, neglected then finally sold us. I called an attorney. Cindy has had full custody of Maryssa and Makenna since birth.

Millions of grandparents are raising their grandchildren because their children became addicts. Millions. Many without child support. Michael Wayne Scherer Jr upon learning Steph was pregnant, went to Cindy’s house and beat Stephaney trying to force a miscarriage just as my father had 43 years ago. He failed to do so. Michael pled down and copped a plea of Assault On A Family. The family was Steph and the twins. I used that to prevent him ever having visitation with Maryssa and Makenna in the custody hearing in Parker County, Texas. The attorney argued “no judge will grant that.” I argued “Cindy and I paid you to get this done and you are going to admit the plea deal he made into evidence and get it done. I’m not asking you. Instead I’m telling you.” The judge granted no visitation. Neither Michael or Stephaney ever paid child support on the twins. Deadbeat parent’s both of them. The hardship of raising a second generation of children fell on Cindy & Steve Daniel. Cindy had to give up her job to raise the twins. Steve Daniel a truck driver was laid off from Albertsons after 23 years and took a job for KBR as a fuel tank driver in Balad, Iraq. You can Google Steve Daniel Caught In The Crossfire to find out how much Steve gave up to save Cindy and the twins by taking on a very dangerous job in order to save his family. Love is sacrifice.

Addicts are selfish. They are narcissistic. They don’t care who they destroy. They have no remorse. Ask me I know. In 1989, I hired a private investigator to find MY MOTHER. I wanted to confront her. I wanted to know WHY she had sold us. She wanted $1500 to meet me. Cindy and our baby brother, Jerry were furious about this meeting but I was determined to find the truth. I wanted to hear it from Sharon’s mouth.

“EXPERIENCE is EXPENSIVE, because WHEN you LEARN something the HARD way, you NEVER forget the COST.” Cindy Daniel.

I didn’t get the answers I expected or wanted. Sharon took the $1500 and her toxic tongue and left that restaurant in Solvang, CA and was involved in a life changing accident. Her mother, Anna Mae Tinney called my home in San Clemente where my furious sister was waiting on me and told her “your mother isn’t expected to live. Please come to Santa Maria.” I was angrily driving from Solvang to San Clemente. I also never wanted to see Sharon again. Cindy feeling sorry for her mother who we had no idea had legally adopted our half sister, Tamara that no one told us about until 2007, convinced Cindy to convince me to backtrack. I didn’t want to but I did. A trust was established to benefit Sharon’s 4 children. Remember though 1 of those 4 children had been legally adopted. When Anna Mae Tinney and I set up that trust as payback for the children nobody wanted, Anna Mae DELIBERATELY didn’t advise me that Tamara was NOT entitled because Anna Mae had in fact legally adopted and effectively saved Tammy from the fate Wendy, Cindy & Jerry faced as children no one wanted. It wasn’t until 2007 when Sharon’s half sister, Nancy Tabor Tinney called me to tell me “Tammy is double dipping” that I had any idea Anna Mae had legally adopted Tammy at 10 years old. Anna Mae effectively not only saved Tammy at 10 but also later in life as Tammy benefited upon Anna Mae’s death as one of her daughters in an estate split between Sharon, Nancy & Tammy. Sharon’s split went into the Sharon Hill Trust Estate. You see Sharon lost 60% of her cognitive abilities from the accident which left her an incapacitated person in the state of California. Sharon is still alive today. Had she died that night as she was expected to… Wendy, Cindy & Jerry’s lives would have dramatically been improved by benefit of that trust money. But you see we’ve never been lucky.

How would that trust estate have changed OUR lives? Stephaney’s father had sent Cindy, Leigh Ann & Stephaney on a holiday to me in San Clemente and planned to wipe out their house leaving nothing not even a fork, can of green beans or ice tray. Larry took Cindy, Leigh Ann and Stephaneys personal belongings and anything under that roof. He even stripped the car I had left in TX. I moved Cindy in with me. Larry never paid one penny of child support on Stephaney. Why? He filed for divorce in TX lying and said he had custody of Stephaney and the idiot judge didn’t ask for evidence.

Meanwhile I was in a violent marriage. Jerry joined the Navy to escape. So you see that money would HAVE changed OUR lives. But we’ve never been lucky and have had to fight to protect that trust over 30 years never benefitting one nickel from it while everyone not entitled to it has continued to try to steal it all of these years.

Loving an addict is HELL. You can divorce a spouse you cannot divorce a child you raised who BECAME an addict.

For twenty years Wendy and Cindy have searched the streets, visited psych wards, jails & rehabs and begged DA’s for prison. Steph has been arrested over 20 times and even stole a semi and NEVER went to prison. I walk into prisons 5-6 days a week and constantly wonder if prison would have changed our outcome with Steph???

Addicts are the most self destructive people I’ve ever encountered. I now know why no one is looking for homeless people wandering the streets. I’m one of them. Cindy is too. We are sick of trying to Save Stephaney.

I’ve always been honest and candid. Two years ago I noticed that my clients marrying an inmate were by far more compassionate about our struggles with Steph than my traditional clients from Texas Twins Events. Why? Because they love an inmate. They too are judged by people who have no idea how hard it is to love an inmate. Stupid scripted shows like Love After Lockup depict anyone who loves an addict as desperately lonely or mentally unstable. This is INACCURATE and UNTRUE. I know my clients. I know how determined, resilient, loyal, independent and dedicated they are. Scripted reality shows are B.S. The reality is that loving an inmate REQUIRES tenacity, determination and grit. So does loving an addict. The difference between these two groups is that people who love an inmate KNOW when an inmate will be released OR if it’s a lifer they ACCEPT there will NEVER be a release. People who love an addict have NO TIMELINE OF GRIEVING. We mourn indefinitely UNTIL we get that FINAL PHONE CALL.

I’ve had mothers of addicts tell me “I’m relieved it’s finally over.” In fact a mother who had traveled with her daughter to marry an inmate at TDCJ Coffield Unit a few weeks ago told me just that. The circumstances of that day were beyond unique. 1. My client without asking or advising me had mailed her marriage license to the Unit. Effectively it was lost. 2. TDCJ does not allow guests. 3. My clients mother was allowed in due to a recent warden change and short staff at the Unit. 4. Because the license wasn’t with the client she was nearly cancelled and had to file for a duplicate marriage license and finally 5. The mother and daughter were leaving a wedding at a prison to go make funeral arrangements for the son who had after 24 years of addiction finally died. You can’t make this shit up. From a prison wedding to a funeral? YES.

In April 2023 Steph had decided to leave Oxford House (a sober living facility) and because Cindy had helped her increase and effectively repair her credit, move into the first apartment Steph had ever had at 36 years old after 20 years of homelessness. Cindy & I furnished and I decorated that apartment. Steph had obtained a job at a nice steakhouse and a car and finally an apartment. We were relieved and thrilled that finally Steph had overcome addiction. The twins were talking to her again. Leigh Ann was cautious but Cindy & Wendy had thought we won. We were wrong.

Due to unpredictable behavior, Cindy popped Steph with a drug test. It was positive. For nearly 3 weeks we have no idea where she is, who she is with or what she is doing. Here’s what we do know… within 7 days of that drug test Steph was fired, she wrecked her car and she spiraled. She’s facing homelessness again.

This could’ve been the greatest comeback story ever but it isn’t because no matter what you do you cannot save an addict…

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Complicated Grief Syndrome. What is it & how does it affect people who love an addict?

I’ve encountered victims of Complicated Grief Syndrome many times throughout my life but never considered that my twin sister and I were affected by it. Why? Because for our entire lives we have used compartmentalization and disassociation to “put away” things we cannot deal with in order to function and live normally.

Many people are often shocked about my candor and transparency but shouldn’t be. Cindy and I are and always have been raw and authentic. We raised our three adult children as a twin team and Cindy took on the raising of her daughter, Stephaney’s twin daughters at birth. The twins will be 19 in September. Many grandparents are raising their grandchildren because their adult children are addicts. The numbers would stagger you. The sheer numbers of aunts, uncles, grandparents and others raising someone else’s children continues to grow.

I recall a production executive once telling me while Cindy and I were filming our television pilot, Pawning Planners, “Wendy you are far too honest and we think it would be best if others didn’t know you have problems.” I laughed. We all have problems. Some of us far more than others. I don’t hide any details about my life nor does Cindy. All of our social media profiles are PUBLIC.

In May 1971 (bear with me on the relevance here) our mother, Sharon Tinney Hill sold all four of her children for $50 each to L.B. Thomas (our fathers father). This conversation was recorded by L.B. Stay tuned to find out that he recorded this transaction for a reason and intent. What was it? To use against Wendy, Cindy and Tammy to remind us “no one wants you not even your own mother and I’ve bought and paid for you.”

Assuming that this tape had been destroyed years ago, you can imagine our shock at finding it last year in a storage unit that our father had insisted my twin sister, Cindy get for him when his live in girlfriend, Gretta Fern Ozee passed away. Last year while headed to TDCJ Terrell Unit, I got the call from my brothers wife that our father had died. A father that never protected us. A father with a violent temper. A father that was so hellbent on ignoring the fact that his father had sexually abused Wendy and Cindy after Tammy was adopted by our mothers mother that Wendy and Cindy ran with the clothes on our backs at 15 with no one to run to. Homeless and battered, the Azle Police Department uncertain of what to do with 2 battered teenagers took us to Women’s Haven. After leaving Womens Haven we lived in a $50 car until we could move into a ghetto apt that for 3.5 years we couldn’t afford to have the electricity turned on at. Cindy was raped in that dark apartment one night. Reopening the abuse we had endured all of those years at the hands of L.B. With a family that refused to protect us.

Many people say stupid things to you and we’ve heard plenty. “You need to forgive.” No we don’t. Most workaholics and overachievers are from horrific backgrounds. We are no different. Poverty fueled us to work harder, educate ourselves and crawl out of poverty singlehandedly.

We’ve never fully forgotten our childhoods although I wish we could but finding that tape all these years later reopened old wounds. Realizing that we were at our lowest point searching the streets for Cindy’s daughter who at that time had once again relapsed and became homeless again at the same time our dad died and we paid for a funeral we were never going to attend then finding that damn tape was a literal trifecta of trauma for the Texas Twins.

Our intention was to clean it out but finding that tape was so traumatic we would wait another year before finding the courage to go back as the expense dragged on. What changed? How were we able to go back after a year? Last summer my niece showed up on one of my patios ready to get and receive our help detoxing and getting sober. For 18 years we have put her in rehab after rehab. Visited her in psych wards for meth induced psychosis and ran our companies trying to look normal in an abnormal world while at the same time going through a vicious cycle of rehab, sobriety, relapse then homelessness again.

The problem with loving an addict is the addict doesn’t give a shit what they do to the people they are supposed to love. Sharon didn’t give a damn about her four children either but Cindy saved the twins because Cindy and Wendy saw Maryssa and Makenna in Harris Hospital as ourselves. They had to be saved. We had no one to save us. I called an attorney immediately.

Last summer we took Stephaney to Millwood to dry out. From there to Volunteers of America which is located in every major city in the U.S. and is FREE.

Transitioning from VOA, Stephaney moved to Oxford House a sober living environment. She found a job, bought an older car and saved up to move into her very first apartment.

Cindy and I furnished that apartment Stephaney’s first apartment she had ever gotten on her own after nearly 20 years of addiction issues that had greatly affected our families. We were happy and excited about this. Joyous even but our joy would soon turn to sorrow about ten days ago.

I travel daily for my work. During the week to prisons on weekends to county jails and venues. I work 7 days a week. I field hundreds of emails, DM’s, & phone calls each and every day. I am the most sought after prison wedding planner and officiant in the United States. Why? Because no one does what I do for my clients. What do I mean by that? From providing a ring at no expense to gifts on wedding day to creating a 2 warehouse inventory of bouquets and more to ensure that my clients have bridal photos with “all the fixings” to even treating them to a celebratory meal because I’m often the only person celebrating with them and for them, I do weddings differently.

When you travel thousands of miles each and every week to locations you are often not at home. You sleep in hotels. You plan the grocery shopping and housekeeping at odd hours of the night because time is the one thing you never have enough of.

While Cindy helps me as much as she can she has twins still living at home. One of whom refuses to get her license. Cindy after nearly 40 years is still committed to being a driver. We live about 25 minutes from one another. We are closer for all we’ve overcome and ensured.

Last week Wendy and Cindy went back into that storage unit. Last week Wendy told Cindy “Steph is behaving oddly it’s been going on for about ten days I think we need to do another drug test.” I had waited to tell Cindy this because a helluva lot has happened recently. I’m May I flew to California to move her oldest daughter and youngest granddaughter back to Texas. Marital problems had affected Leigh Ann’s life. Orchestrating 4 days off for this with my schedule was tight and stressful. I’ve never used a sick day or rescheduled anything in my life. My work ethics are stellar. I was still exhausted from moving Stephaney out of Oxford House in April then spending every free moment decorating and or buying essentials to feather her nest. But I powered on…

Three years ago while driving Stephaney to another rehab in Oklahoma, Cindy suffered 3 heart attacks in my suv but refused medical treatment until she knew that Steph was locked down in the rehab facility. I was terrified about losing my twin. By the Grace of God, she made it to surgery and survived. Two years later, my husband collapsed and suffered two heart attacks. I was alone with him too. I can’t put into words what being the only person to save two people you love is like or how traumatic it is. You will never understand it unless you’ve experienced it.

Loving an addict is a toxic relationship when the addict is a child you’ve raised. You can divorce a spouse. You can’t divorce a child who became an adult that destroyed any degree of normality you’ve fought your entire life to obtain.

Parents of addicts grieve the deaths of their children long before they die. They grieve the children they’ve lost to addiction. They mentally prepare themselves for “the call.” They know one day the call will in fact come. They spend thousands of dollars on expensive treatments trying to save someone that doesn’t want to be saved. They cry a River of tears but at some point accept the fate of loving an addict.

Loving an addict destroys your health and your finances. They don’t care and never accept responsibility. Our mother didn’t. Our father had a drinking problem. They never had any degree of accountability for their actions or the impact their choices had on Wendy, Cindy, Tammy and Jerry. Tammy was saved by being legally adopted by our mothers mother as she was a step sister. Wendy and Cindy ran away and Jerry joined the Navy at 16.

I often hear “addiction runs in families” it’s a lame excuse. Addiction is a choice. No one forces someone to experiment with drugs. I’m not going to argue my view with anyone. Cindy and I crawled out of hell and never once considered using drugs to cope. Ever. I also hear “a traumatic event or bad childhood created an addict.” Again I call B.S. our children had the structure, stability, support and love we had never known. We were hellbent on being the parents we would’ve wanted and are.

I was at TDCJ Coffield Unit in Tennessee Colony when Cindy called to tell me “the drug test was positive for Morphine & Cocaine.” She was also devastated. I was hours away at a prison. My sister was alone with a daughter who had destroyed this entire family for nearly 20 years. It was a dealbreaker. Cindy demanded Stephaney stop using drugs immediately. Stephaney refused. Now you see where we are yet again depressed, disappointed & lost. Loving an addict is raw hell. I’ve had mothers tell me at funerals I was conducting “I’m glad it’s over I can finally sleep. It was either prison or a plot but regardless I have closure and can move on.” I don’t judge anybody. I know their path and I know their pain.

Mother’s Day as well as Father’s Day are difficult for me. For many years I was both to my son and Cindys daughters as was she. We never had a mother or father to celebrate. We never will.

Matthew and Steve had no children of their own and yet they married Wendy and Cindy with Leigh Ann, Stephaney & Robert then Cindy took on the role and responsibility of raising the twins, Maryssa and Makenna. Effectively our husband married right into a carnival of chaos by choosing to marry us and stayed around. Cindy has been married nearly 30 years. Me about 20. We never had the weddings we give to our clients. That’s why we created Texas Twins Events.

Many people don’t understand my creative business developments and a few even laughed. In 2009, my first business, Texas Twins Treasures raised a few eyebrows. Why? My husband is a real estate developer and builder and in 2007-08 he lost his businesses. To save our home, I sold my own treasures. Couture clothing, jewelry and even home furnishings & furniture.

By 2010 I had to create another company, Defending Debt Lawsuit Consultants LLC. Why? Because I needed to defend my husband against 12 debt lawsuits and did. I’m resilient. I’m also smart.

How did we meet? I was divorcing and couldn’t afford a $1400 car payment so I went to the dealership and got a job selling them and hired my print ad photographer and ran ads in country clubs direct marketing affluent buyers. I sold Matthew not one but 2 Cadillacs.

In my 20’s I realized to get a better job I needed a better wardrobe so I became a clothing model. At 16 I was plucked from behind a Whataburger counter to film 5 commercials with Mel Tillis. My life has been one surprise after the next but after defending Matthew I developed thyroid cancer and a lump in my breast. Fearing the worst, I dissolved my lawsuit company and sold the Lakeside House. From my hospital bed Cindy asked “what if you don’t die? You will be bored. We’ve always worked.” I created Texas Twins Events.

In 2015 after years of bouncing checks and broken promises, Cindy came up with the idea to merge Texas Twins Treasures & Texas Twins Events to create The Pawning Planners. No more hot checks & broken promises.

You see resilience, perseverance and grit were the backbones of the Texas Twins. What we couldn’t fix was Stephaney. We can’t fix her now and with dread wait on the next phone call. Friday I went in with first responders. The apt I had so carefully decorated and was so excited for as was Cindy was trashed. She was high and refused medical treatment. There’s nothing we can do now other than wait with a sense of impending disaster for what comes next with Stephaney

You can’t love an addict into sobriety. I don’t care how resilient and determined you are. You can’t compartmentalize loving an addict because trauma is a daily occurrence. What you can do is realize you did everything humanly possible hoping for a better outcome and have no regrets or second guessing about where you’ve been and what you’ve been through…

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Travels Of A Texas Twin, Weddings With Wendy Wortham…

I’m frequently contacted by media combined with inquiries from prospective clients. At any given time I’m juggling 70-100 clients marrying mostly in correctional facilities (85-90%) or in the free world (venues, parks, etc). As you might assume, media is in my rear view mirror and for obvious reasons not a priority to me.

I work 7 days a week. Weekdays I’m in correctional facilities. Weekends I’m at venues and county facilities. It’s rare for ICE or federal to schedule on a weekend but over the years it’s happened.

My schedule is tight. So tight that I stack clients at the same unit and several units on the same day. On weekends I schedule venues and correctional facilities on the same day. Meaning I’m not on location for more than 1-2 hours before heading to my next location.

A few years ago I was contacted by a journalist who had no idea how to obtain clearance into a correctional facility. This is more common than you might think. Someone sitting in their office unwilling to do the research themselves expecting me to do their job for them. I walked her through obtaining access and entry and was later surprised to learn that she would be riding in my suv with my twin sister and I AND that she was vegan and hadn’t packed any vegan food. I don’t roll with vegan food and had 4 units. This was an 18 hour day. My road trip food is beef jerky, nuts, cheese sticks and fruit. I don’t have time to find a vegan restaurant on a stacked scheduling day.

A few years ago I was also contacted by an “executive director” who sent me a DM through Instagram that he was “casting a prison based show.” I knew he was full of it. I’ve worked in front of a camera since I was 16 with Mel Tillis filming Whataburger commercials. There isn’t anything about production or the entertainment industry that I don’t know. If you aren’t familiar with the term “casting,” I will enlighten you. There has to be a greenlight in place (network money) to fund the show. For years now I’ve seen so many production companies saying they are casting when in fact they are fishing for talent pretending to be casting. Know what questions to ask when you’re dealing with an “entertainment executive.” I do. This knucklehead thought he was playing me for over a week during wedding season when in fact he had sent me an unsigned contract that lit me up so much I decided to play along while busting it at 7 weddings until cutting him loose. He was the most entitled, pompous, arrogant jerk I’ve ever dealt with in 40 plus years of working in front of a camera. No shit!

Media has “suddenly” realized or recognized that millions of people love an inmate. Hey better late than never but I protect my clients from predatory production companies. I educate them about one sided contracts too.

When you juggle as many commitments as I do, you are organized and focused. You don’t waste time on people that don’t matter to you and I don’t. Since The NY Times article, I’ve had people contacting me because “they want to do what I do.” Hilarious. What they really “want” is to be successful “doing what I do.” I’m not a teacher or a mentor. I’m a businesswoman that worked her ass off to find success. I’m transparent, candid, honest, loyal and driven. I didn’t magically “become successful.” No one does. At the inception of Texas Twins Events I knew damn well I would lose money for 3-5 years before turning a profit AND I was right. I was also committed AF. Too many people aren’t but I’m not the average person. I go above and beyond for my clients and I’m thus internationally sought after solely by client referrals. Surprised? Don’t be. I earned my stellar reputation the hard way by rolling up my sleeves and growing organically.

It’s wedding season. I don’t take on planning events for free world clients because I don’t have months to spend on one event. I address several events in the same day 7 days a week. Clients marrying an inmate require me to be a planner because they know what they want but have no idea how to obtain what they want. I walk them through a very confusing paperwork process than can take months and even up to a year.

Before using the contact us link on any of my sites, bother to tell me why you are contacting me, what you need and the location. Inquiries stating “I’m interested” or “can you tell me more about your business” while you are on a very informative website that literally lays out what I do and who I do it for will go unanswered. If you don’t know what I do and who I do it for AFTER being on my websites, I don’t have the time or the patience to educate you.

Wendy M Wortham

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“Stop Setting Yourself On Fire To Keep Others Warm.” Penny Reid

This past week has been emotionally exhausting. Thursday at Harris Hospital, Virginia didn’t even recognize me. I was crushed. Shocked. Heartbroken.

After nearly 37 years since we first met when I was a contract employee at CSC working in Security, Virginia was the mother figure I had never had. Saying goodbye to her will also be the hardest experience of loss I’ve endured in this lifetime.

TDCJ Scheduled and Confirmed dates so far are June 8- Jester 3. June 9- Allred Unit. June 15- Jordan Unit. July 20- Robertson Unit.

Federal Clients- Please be aware that pre Covid guidelines have been lifted. Contact weddings are in place. Wedding rings valued at less than $100 are allowed. Currently, no guests are allowed.

ICE- No guests are allowed. Covid guidelines are still in place.

County- Tarrant County is still not allowing mobile notaries unless accompanied by an attorney. Parker County will not notarized absentee affidavits for inmates in federal custody.

All other counties- there are no further issues I’m aware of. If you encounter issues, contact me.

With Virginia dying and while trying to clean out the condo I bought and furnished, as usual, my niece, Stephaney yet again chose the worst POSSIBLE time SHE COULD to CHOOSE to relapse.

Addicts don’t care. I know you’re reading this Stephaney and probably too high to understand it BUT goodbye. You made your choice.

For the first time in 17 years I thought and believed I had YOU finally stable. The moment I used the money YOU had given me every few days to keep you from blowing it on drugs in order for you to save up to buy a car for 6 months, YOU went straight to your dealer and were off the rails on meth YET again.

Don’t call me Steph. I have nothing and I mean nothing to say to you. I will not help you again other than to buy a bus ticket to CA. Go be homeless in Venice Beach.

I’ve devoted 17 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars for YOUR treatment, bonds and more for you to trying to save you WHILE also financially helping Cindy raise the twins with NO child support whatsoever from you or that idiot, Michael Wayne Scherer Jr and I’m officially DONE. Your MOM is done too. Leave us alone.

Addicts are sociopaths. They are completely devoid of empathy and compassion for family members that their behavior victimizes. If you disagree with this statement, you either don’t have a family member with addiction issues who HAS destroyed any degree of normality in YOUR life OR you are an addict yourself. I hate drugs. I especially cannot tolerate addicts.

For over a year now, my niece, YOU Stephaney have been living at group home. The rent is $650 a month. It’s about 7-9 minutes from my West Fort Worth home. The group home isn’t in the luxurious neighborhood I live in. You “hate living with 8-10 other women. You want your own apartment. You wanted a car. You. You. You.”

They don’t have group home’s in Westover Hills. Group homes aren’t in $600-900k neighborhoods.

You didn’t like the location of the Group Home. Too bad. You had nowhere else to go. I would think after being homeless, in jail or in a psych ward 17 times during a two year window while trying to find you a job that you would appreciate having a place to live that someone else (your mother and I) were paying for. But nope not you. You never appreciate anything. You wouldn’t know TRUE sacrifice if it slapped you in the face. Sociopaths have no idea what sacrifice is.

I paid YOUR rent for months. I looked everywhere to find you a job. I drove you to AND from Jason’s until you started acting crazy and got fired again from using. Yes I called Angela at the Group Home to have you committed and dried out again. Not Cindy. Me. I did this to keep you from getting kicked out and dry you out. You are a stark raving lunatic on meth. Ask anyone. Ask coworkers at Jason’s or the other great job I got FOR you at Lucilles you screwed up. You think no one knows when you are using. EVERYONE KNOWS.

Then I find you a job at Charlestons where you were making more money than you did at Jason’s. Enough to pay a few months of your own rent for the FIRST time in your 34 year life.

Your mother and I were paying our own rent at 16 years old. Not in a beautiful neighborhood either. In a very dangerous area because we couldn’t afford a nice apartment in a nice area. Do you know what? We were thankful to have running water and a roof over our heads back then you EVEN though WE COULD not afford electricity for the THREE YEARS we lived there you ungrateful jackass.

You’re welcome you never appreciate anything. You never have and you never will. You care about getting high more than anything else in your life. You could have been married. You could have had a normal life. You could have SPARED this entire family from your destructive choices and yet over and over you have hurt us. We are sick and tired of your sociopathic tendencies, name calling and never accepting responsibility for your own actions.

I’ve drove you to work or let you use my Uber App when you got that job at Charlestons since you suddenly considered yourself “too good” to ride the bus. I worked so damn hard to get you at that upscale restaurant.

You have been fired from nearly every other restaurant in Fort Worth AND Weatherford for acting crazy on meth. You did that. We didn’t. We have screamed, cried and begged you to stay clean. You have consistently chosen not to do so.

A year and half ago BEFORE your two years back on the streets homeless and whacked out, you DELIBERATELY lied and said you were never using again. Cindy and I had as usual just picked you up from yet another psych ward “stint” because your behavior on meth leads police to believe you are crazy rather than high and experiencing meth induced psychosis.

You lied all the way to that apartment and then snuck off through the apartment complex after YOU lied to Cindy and I telling us YOU needed rent money to and that you were planned and were going to apply at Mexican Inn the following day and THEN you ran off with the rent money we GAVE to you in good faith choosing to be a homeless drug addict.

I cannot believe what you put us through over and over and over. My health has suffered. Cindys health has suffered and not one but both your twin daughters have attempted suicide BECAUSE OF YOU.

Not that you would care but since Cindy gave up on you during that 2 year window of you running off with the so called “rent money” we gave to you, Cindy wasn’t looking for you I was.

Cindy even told our dear friend, Sherri that “she was lucky her meth addicted son died sparing her ALL of the shit that we have been through trying to save you and MEANT IT.”

Sherri was shocked but Sherri hasn’t been through 17 years of this crap. She only had one year of it.

Your mother told me not to look for you but I refused to give up. I spent those 2 years searching for YOU when I wasn’t working in very dangerous areas.

Your mom spent those two years crying and heartbroken not knowing if you were dead or alive WHILE trying to act normal and raise your kids you selfish fuck.

When I did find YOU, you were out of YOUR mind AND living in a cardboard box. The police had called me because I gave up trying to find you myself and finally filed a missing persons report.

Fort Worth PD actually told me “not to try and come get you because you were out of your mind on meth.” YET Fort Worth PD also refused to take you to the JPS psych ward because they knew you were NOT out of your mind AND/OR mentally ill but instead high on meth. They left your ass in that box. I should have listenned to them and soared subjecting myself AND your daughter finding you that day. I wish I had.

You may have forgotten that night while living in a cardboard box that I had your daughter, Maryssa in my suv seeing you like that. Screaming and crawling out of that box COMPLETELY out of your mind. You wouldn’t go to treatment. We BOTH begged you. Even the police wouldn’t transfer you to the psych ward.

Have you ever wondered why Maryssa was with me? She was with me because she TRULY believed that if I found you that if she was with me that SHE could convince you to go into treatment. You screamed at your own daughter that you were Jesus Christ and she was Satan.

Do you THINK any of us have forgotten the things you’ve done and said to hurt us? News flash- we haven’t. We can’t. We never will.

I went back to that GD box every day I wasn’t traveling to meet clients to look for you and drop off food and clothing for a solid month. You never went back after you were found there. A month later, rather than you living in that bud and benefitting from everything I had left there thinking it was for you crying and humiliated, a man crawled out of that box instead.

Go be homeless somewhere, anywhere. I don’t want to find you shadow boxing light poles and acting stupid on Camp Bowie. The twins are terrified that you will show up in Weatherford and embarrass them at Cindy’s. Don’t. Cindy WILL call the police.

I spent 2 years when not working paying homeless people I showed your photo’s to trying to find you. TWO YEARS.

I wish I had left you in Oklahoma and let you do the 10-20. I wish I had. Getting you probation was the stupidest thing I have ever done. Those 3 years were the only time in your adult life you were “normal.” Your children wouldn’t care what a maniac you are on drugs if they had NOT seen you off meth for those 3 years you were on paper and follicles. Go to prison. I wish you had failed those Damn hair follicles to spare all of us getting back on meth LESS than 24 hours after your probation removed hair follicles.

Meanwhile Cindy was struggling with high blood pressure and hypertension because of YOU. Cindy nearly died because I was trying to get you back in treatment when you got off that bus in Oklahoma we put you on to get you to treatment so we could go to work and then you called us to drive 6 hours one way to take you to rehab ourselves. You selfish POS. You NEVER once considered what you have put us through. Not ONE TIME.

We hate your screaming phone calls. We now record them. Why? Because we are going to call the police and stop you from terrorizing us with them and film from our house cameras to prove you are a threat to yourself and others.

My neighbors thought I was crazy or a fanatic for installing those 16 cameras “in this neighborhood.” I knew I would need them with an out of control meth addict coming over here with a hammer. Were you planning to kill your #1 enabler. You know, ME?

The Fort Worth house is a compound of self defense. Don’t bring a hammer to a gun fight MF. You know damn well I know how to protect myself and my home AND I will.

Do you have any idea what seeing your OWN mother whacked out of their minds does to children? Tammy, Cindy and I do. Jerry was too young.

Maryssa will never forget seeing you crawling out of that box like a lunatic clawing at us like a monster.

We have tried to protect the twins from YOU. The very same children Cindy and I did everything humanly possible to give THEM the stable childhood WE didn’t have that you kept screwing up over and over and over with your outrageous and dangerous behavior.

No you don’t care and I doubt you EVER will care either. The only thing you care about is your next fix. You are the most selfish SOB I’ve ever encountered in my entire life OTHER than MY OWN MOTHER.

During that two years of you being homeless and strung out where Cindys heart was literally breaking in Parker County, I found you once again while trying to find you (as usual) in my “off time.” Do you know what it’s like trying to find a maniac on meth to convince them to get help? I DO.

That day I saw you walking down Calmont waiving your hands around and talking to yourself would be the last time I wasted my time looking for you.

While I was wasting my time looking for you, crying my eyes from weariness and frustration along with my determination to fix you, AGAIN I begged you to go into treatment. BEGGED. You screamed at me and called me names and told me you hated me. I hate you. I hate everything you’ve taken from me, my sister and this family. Cindy was right. Sherri was lucky.

If my other readers don’t know OR can’t understand what it’s like trying to save an addict WHILE raising their twin daughters for nearly 17 years, SPARE me your judgment about my language OR my transparency.

For everyone else who has lived through the nightmare of loving and trying to save an addict, I’m sure you can relate.

Someone I loved is NOW dying. The closest thing to a mother figure I have ever known doesn’t even recognize me. At the very same time- someone ELSE that I HAVE tried to save over and over, YOU Stephaney have YET AGAIN betrayed my trust for the last time. I will never “help” you by enabling you AGAIN Stephaney.

Stephaney, I wish you were in prison. I wish I hadn’t saved you from prison in Oklahoma. I wish when I was trying to send you to what I thought was a treatment center in Georgia that when you were arrested on a revoked bond in Oklahoma at the Dallas Greyhound bus station where I was relieved we were going to get you out of Texas that you decided to get into a fist fight at after we left that the Dallas PD had taken you back to Oklahoma.

I wish I hadn’t paid that damn bond because I was so determined to get a year of treatment in another state and a year of your crap away from this family. You destroy everything. EVERYTHING.

I finally got you on that bus out of Texas and a week later YOU were back here terrorizing us AGAIN. ONE WEEK? All that money spent?

The amount of money I’ve “spent” trying to save YOU is staggering at nearly half a million dollars over these last 17 years but the financial pain coupled with the emotional abuse and many other things that YOU have done to this family are equally emotionally debilitating.

I can’t go through this again with YOU and I won’t.

Stephaney you gave your mother high blood pressure and heart attacks. I nearly lost my twin. The only time in 17 years that you have ever been clean was when you were on paper from Oklahoma that REQUIRED hair follicle testing. The minute they removed hair follicles you were right back on meth and right back to abusing, harassing and stalking us AND the twins.

Stephaney-have literally abused this entire family for 17 years. Go away. I don’t care where.

Your daughters have both attempted suicide OVER YOUR CHOICE to start using. Makenna will permanently suffer with heart damage and Serotonin Syndrome BECAUSE YOU CHOSE METH after those damn hair follicles were removed from the conditions of your probation.

That 3 years of sobriety earned the twins trust only for you to destroy it and leave those two innocent children blaming themselves and attempting suicide you piece of shit! I hate you.

How DARE you lead us and your own children to believe YOU would never get back on meth by lying to all of us that you would never use again during that three year window of probation that required hair follicles? Fuck you.

Last Friday after months of saving your money for you from that good paying job at Charleston,s that I found FOR you WHILE juggling my 4 businesses and client’s. You wouldn’t EVEN bother to find a job on your own. I had to do it for you.

THEN after months of paying all of your expenses for you after yet another expensive “stint” in treatment, you got into that $5k car and took off.

You didn’t even bother to let me take you or follow to go find insurance. You were too hellbent on finding meth again you psychotic bitch.

No thank you for the many months and nearly a year of helping to pay your rent, give you rides to work, find you a job not once but three times in 3 years because you started using at the other job and got fired again. No thank you for the cigarettes, meals, treatment facilities or YOUR coffee WHILE driving you to and from work everyday when I wasn’t out of town or the state working my events while you yelled “I’m not riding the bus anymore give me access to Uber.” You are the most entitled and demanding little shit that I’ve ever encountered.

Do you HAVE ANY idea how hard it is to walk into a prison or venue acting normal AND happy for MY clients with your mom and daughters crying because you are yet again terrorizing this family?

Do you know I worry every time I travel that you will show up at our houses or our friends houses OR how embarrassing our neighbors seeing you acting crazy is to US or your children?!!!! How expensive it is to fix kicked in doors? Holes punched in our walls? Covering deductibles because you’ve stolen our cars, credit cards and checks WHILE raising your twin daughters and paying medical expenses over and over again at Mesa Springs for the twins because of your behavior? What about the treatments I’ve paid over and over and over for your sorry ass?

Stephaney, you are the most selfish son of a bitch I’ve ever encountered other than my own mother who was also a piece of shit.

The difference between you and OUR MOTHER is that YOU never had THE opportunity to SELL your children to YOUR dealer for $50 each like OUR MOTHER did to her FOUR CHILDREN. Do you know why YOU NEVER had the opportunity? Because I paid an attorney $20k to get custody of them and protect them from YOU your addiction.

We SAVED the twins from YOU. Stop saying we STOLE the TWINS from you. Idiot. You couldn’t take care of those kids for ten minutes.

Do you have any idea how much raising twins costs? Braces? Staying in expensive mental institutions because they’ve seen you acting crazy and screaming she is Jesus Christ? Again, fuck you.

Our FB friends message Cindy and I constantly when YOU are off her meds and back on meth. “I saw Stephaney shadow boxing a light pole near El Fenix in Camp Bowie.” We BOTH tell them all to “call the police.”

Do you know how much money Cindy and I have spent buying “psyche ward friendly” clothing FOR YOU over and over and over. JPS would release you. You would start using again and get institutionalized again. We would buy more psych ward friendly clothing. Wear what they have we aren’t bringing you ANYTHING ever again in the nut house. We aren’t EVER coming to visit again and we aren’t ever helping you again. Help yourself MF.

I’m surprised as hell that I haven’t had a nervous breakdown or heart attack myself! Stephaney- 17 times at the nut house in a 3 year window AND consistently losing all of the shit we bought for YOU over and over?! You are outrageous. OUTRAGEOUS.

Guess what you selfish narcissist, WHILE we were running and buying psych ward friendly clothing and cigarettes “because you could smoke at Sundance,” we were ALSO running to Mesa Springs where the twins were being treated for suicidal ideation because of YOU. Then we had to drive on to Wellbridge where dad was because he shot up his roof thinking someone was living in the attic.

You have NO IDEA the shit we have been through because of you AND dad. To Hell with both of you. Burn in Hell.

FOUR of our own family members in NUT HOUSES at the same time? TWO of you THAT we didn’t give a shit about were BOTH YOU and our DAD.

Yet Cindy and I were running to AND from our work and nut houses for a month while you and dad were committed at the same time as the twins.

Thanks for destroying nearly 20 years of our lives we can never get back. You life ruining bastard. You have no idea of the glass you have drug US and your children through.

Cindy’s neighbors don’t even talk to her BECAUSE your dumb ass antics that have forced us to call the police over and over and over again have embarrassed the entire family over there.

Walking back and forth across Cindy’s roof screaming you were Jesus as we rolled into the driveway with Makenna hanging her head in shame and running into the house after hours of STAAR testing to keep from seeing you YET AGAIN out of your mind on Meth terrorizing Cindy, the twins, Leigh Ann and baby Maddy? Your sister can never forgive you for the things you have said, done and taken from her. Neither can my son. Don’t call Leigh Ann or Robert. They are done too. Unlike you they have families and a normal life. Leave them alone.

Cindy and I survived the shittiest childhood ever. That’s right I said said survived. As you are well aware, our mother was the most miserable excuse for a human being I’ve ever encountered UNTIL YOU. Don’t give me your guilt trip B.S. ever again about how hard your life was because drug dealers beat you up.

Hey Steph- STOP bring stupid and blaming others BECAUSE you put yourself in those situations not us.

I never thought I could hate anyone as much as I hate our mom. But you changed that. After selling all 4 of her children for $50 each to her Heroin dealer who (not knowing what to do with us), locked us in a closet together for 7-12 days starving and urinating and crying in the dark. There was a latch on the outside of that door making it impossible for us to leave on our own. No one was looking for us. The smells alerted other neighbors to what they believed was a dead body which turned out to be 10 year old Tammy our step sister, 6 year old twins (Cindy and I) and two year old Jerry our baby brother. Cindy had cried so hard and so long out of fear and hunger that she required an emergency hernia surgery. We survived. We never used drugs because we hated drugs. You and your stupid choices have forced us to endure a childhood AND an adulthood of dealing with a piece of shit addict. I can’t wait for our mother to die so I can stop using the energy it takes to hate her for her choices.

You HAVE rarely heard me talk about “the rest of my family” because I don’t have anything good and much less positive to say. Our father didn’t want three children while grandma Tinney adopted and saved Tammy.

Our father wanted to drink and party so he left us with his father who once Tammy was safely out of the picture, began sexually abusing my twin sister and I just as he had Tammy. No one protected us from grandpa. No one. Not dad, not grandma not aunt Shirley. No one would save us. We RAN to save ourselves.

When Cindy and I ran away at 15, baby brother Jerry was left behind. Poor Jerry alone with a wicked stepmother and a violent father. Every time I hear “oh what a lonely boy” I think of our baby brother and I cry.

You wanna know where Cindy and I came from? We ran from the gates of Hell that you and your behavior drug us right back into.

The police found Cindy and I eating out of a trash can behind 7-11 at 15 years old and took us to the shelter. We were thankful to be off the streets but nothing you. You love being homeless you idiot.

I was pregnant after being raped and lost the baby shortly thereafter. We lived at Womens Haven for about a year before a church donated us a car.

We also lived in that car for another year taking births baths at area gas stations until we could save up to rent an apartment. Cindy and I both lied about our ages to get waitress jobs to keep from starving. Cindy was followed home one night while I was working late at Red Lobster. She worked at IHOP. These two men pushed her into the apartment and raped then assaulted her. I came home to find my bloody and battered twin sister on the living room floor beside the $10 sofa we had tied to the top of our donated car to bring home and have somewhere to sit. She never saw their faces. Stephaney you have no fucking idea where we have been, what we have been through OR what we have survived. You selfish idiot.

Your sister, Leigh Ann is the child of that rape. We didn’t even know Cindy was pregnant until a car hit us and she was told she was pregnant in the ER. This shocking development was a deal between us. I had lost a baby she had gained one. We would raise her together and forget how she got here. We would also “midnight move” from our dark apt in the middle of the night to an all bills paid apt about 3 miles away.

Never once did our father, grandmother or aunt offer to help us in any way. We had no one. Only each other. You have always had Cindy and I. You don’t anymore. You are dead to us.

You have stolen everything you could from this family. You had no excuses. You didn’t live our shitty childhood. You weren’t abused. You never went hungry. We raised all of you as a team. Even when you were screwing around and got pregnant, we weren’t upset. We would deal with it. We would financially handle it.

We didn’t ask you for anything other than to be a decent human being and get off drugs. PERIOD. That’s it. Their entire lifetime you have been a fucked up out of control lunatic on drugs. Cindy and I were all you had left. I refused to give up on you but NO MORE. Go away. Far away.

My first husband was violent as was your mothers. We didn’t even know or realize that violence wasn’t normal. We had grown up in very violent and abusive conditions. But once we did it was too late. Cindy was pregnant with YOU.

You (according to your Deadbeat dad, Larry Mahaney) were “supposed to be a boy.”

Your miserable excuse of a father never forgave Cindy for having a girl and within 2 years had another entire family.

Cindy was visiting me in San Clemente with you and Leigh Ann when a message on my home recorder from Larry stated “don’t bother coming home. There’s nothing left here. None of the girls clothes or toys, none of your personal items. Nothing. You should have had a boy.”

Leigh Ann was always a good baby. You never were. You were fussy and by 6 acting in a violent fashion towards your sister and my son. We couldn’t find out why until you were diagnosed as bipolar AND absolutely refused to take your medication.

Your sorry sack of shit father, Larry “skirted” child support by non servicing Cindy of the court date and claiming to have custody of YOU.

Your mother has raised NOT one but TWO generations of children with no child support whatsoever. I AM a workaholic BECAUSE I’m the only one other than her husband who had always taken care of Cindy, you, Leigh Ann and the twins financially and emotionally.

You DON’T KNOW hardship or sacrifice. You never have. Save that “sorry” shit for another sucker. Sorry is a word I would love to never hear again.

By 14 or 15, you were hanging with a rough crowd. By 15.5, she you were pregnant with twins. By 16 you were on meth “to control your weight.”

Had I not hired an attorney, the state would’ve taken the twins.

Cindy and I SAVED the twins at 40 years old. Stop saying we stole them you stupid ass. We saved them. We saved them from being drug into crack houses and sexually abused by your crackhead friends. You would have endangered them the same way our mother did to us.

For years Cindy and I have tried to save YOU and WE give up. You even stole Leigh Ann’s brand new computer, desk and chair that she saved up to buy for herself. You don’t care about anything except getting high.

YOU love meth more than the only two people who didn’t give up, me and your mom. Your “go to” enablers, Wendy and Cindy. Don’t come to us anymore. We are finished trying to save you. Save yourself.

Have a great life getting high or going to prison for your choices. I will NEVER bail you put again. I will never pay to get your towed car out of impound when you are arrested either and you will be you always are.

I can’t do this anymore. I won’t. Cindy had a heart attack when YOU relapsed and started using while we were in NY TWO DAYS to film with CBS.

You are just like our mother. The only difference is that Cindy and I protected the twins. No one protected us. We are the complete opposite of our mother and YOU. We gave you a good childhood. We have tried over and over to help you. The banks are closed.

We are the people we never had but you cannot cherry pick a withered branch from a cherry tree. We are out.

Good luck to you Steph. You will get pulled over. You will lose your car AGAIN just like you did 3 years ago after we spent thousands bonding it out because we aren’t going to bond your car OR you out.

Frankly, I wish you would go to prison. I wish I had let you go in Oklahoma an spared this family and especially your children from the things you’ve said and done.

It’s time for you to experience tough love Steph and this time WE REALLY mean it…

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For Love Or Money? Why Opinions From People Who Can’t Accept Your Love Story Don’t Matter…

A journalist called me Saturday who obviously had some unfounded opinions regarding marrying inmates being “all about the money.” How and why this biased belief exists I have no idea but I know this, the people I marry to inmates are dedicated, determined, resilient and do it all alone on the outside. They are warriors. They prove that love is more than a 4 letter word.

Many of you don’t have the support you deserve from family or friends. Many of you feel isolated regarding your decision to marry an inmate. Many of you feel you don’t have anyone to talk to but you do. You have me. I take calls, texts, emails and DM’s 7 days a week from 8AM-9PM. I’m here to listen and I’m here to offer you advice. I’m old and I’m wise and your concerns are important to me.

I had a bride ask me about a prenuptial agreement. She’s planning to marry at Garza East. I can prepare this document for you and understand the need to have one if the inmate has outstanding debts going into the marriage. You need to protect what’s yours. You also need to know that the ONLY way to “catch” your spouses debt is by marrying. Be cautious. Ask questions. Too many people don’t ask about their partners debt. Sexually transmitted debt occurs when a marriage happens. Marriage merges debt.

While many of you might think you don’t have anything to protect, what you are doing is isolating your future spouses debts from your own as well as your assets.

Years ago, twenty to be exact, I was opening my mail when a tax lien popped up. I had never ever had an issue with the IRS. In fact, I’m afraid of very few things but the IRS is one of the the things I’m so terrified of that I overlay my taxes. My ex husband had presented his taxes to me and instructed me to “sign this. We are married now.” By signing that document, I unwittingly assumed half of a $378k tax debt.

It took me months to successfully file an Innocent Spouse case with the IRS. In fact, to educate myself, I took a job at H & R Block to learn more about tax debts in order to represent myself. My ex had a tax attorney. I had myself. Many of you are unaware that I’ve been through some serious shit in my lifetime and had no one to ask for help. No mother or father. No grandparents, aunts or uncles. Cindy and I have always had to “figure it out.”

We have “figured it out” since leaving home at fifteen years old. Cindy and I lived at homeless shelters until we were 16. There has never been an “easy button” for solving problems in our lives. We’ve always had each other and it was Cindy who suggested filing Innocent Spouse. She had heard of it from someone else. If not for Cindy, I would have had no idea how to get rid of that lien or where to start. My credit would’ve been ruined and any money I earned taken to satisfy the debt. I had no choice other than to fight and so I did. I learned a lot about tax law. I enjoy learning about the law and spent many years in courtrooms.

A lot of people wonder why Cindy and I started Texas Twins Events. We created an opportunity that didn’t exist for anyone to enjoy a dream event. We want others to have the wedding we didn’t. We want you to have the flowers the fun photos and the wonderful memories of your life event.

I often advise you of things you need to know when committing yourself and your life to marriage because I don’t want anyone making the same mistakes Cindy or I have in our previous marriages. EXPERIENCE MATTERS. Protecting all of you is my greatest concern.

Many of you feel guilty if you don’t write enough letters or miss a phone call. You shouldn’t. You are living on the outside. You have a house to keep, kids to raise and bills to pay. Your needs should be your primary focus. You can’t save anyone else until you save yourself first. Putting too many people in your boat will drown you. Set limits. Establish boundaries.

I have 2 dealbreakers in my life and in my marriage. Violence and infidelity. I would’ve simply fought the tax lien and stayed married to my second husband if he hadn’t been being unfaithful during the entire marriage. The tax lien was the cherry on top of the cake. I had limits. We all do.

This journalist attempted to advise me of why she thought my clients chose to marry an inmate. I answered her with one of Cindy’s iconic quotes known as Cindyism Quotes.

“I would appreciate your advice and insight if I could overlook your lack of experience.”

I meant what I said although she was surprised I said it. I’m transparent. I’ve been dirt poor. I’ve ate of trash cans as a homeless teen alongside my twin sister. We lived without electricity in our first apartment because we could afford the rent but couldn’t afford electricity. I know what hard times are. I’ve been there and done that.

If you are a journalist, casting producer or media person, what you don’t know and assume to know when talking to me with an attitude will be quickly addressed and quashed. Your ignorance regarding my clients is a sure fire way to light me up. I’m being serious. I know them you don’t. Save your opinions Skippy.

For years now I’ve had production people contact me. My twin and I filmed a television pilot five years ago, Pawning Planners. We’ve also filmed numerous projects and are familiar with creative editing and frankenbiting. Our clients aren’t. Our clients don’t understand media contracts. We advise them about production companies and media portraying them in a less than positive light. We educate and protect them. For reasons I may never understand, media believe that anyone marrying an inmate is a weirdo. They aren’t. People marrying an inmate are warriors. Read that again.

Marrying an inmate is a sacrifice. My clients spend holidays alone. They carefully budget to afford expensive phone calls. They drive long hours to Units. They often put the inmates needs before their own. They are selfless. They are givers.

Many of the media people contacting me are takers. You want to take their story, their journey and their lives and twist their story into a train wreck. I won’t let you. Prey on someone else. I’m well aware of creative editing and fabricating sentences that weren’t spoken. I’m well aware of how production companies twist the truth and create “faux personalities.”

A few years ago, I was contacted on Instagram in March by someone claiming to be casting a prison show. This person wasn’t casting a show because there wasn’t a greenlight. It was March I was busy as Hell in season with clients from all three of my businesses and this jackass wanted me to do his job for him while claiming he had been cleared for a show with funding. I know what a greenlight is. I know what questions to ask. My clients don’t. This guy wanted “beautiful people.” All of my clients are beautiful. This guy wanted names and phone numbers. I told him “I don’t give out my clients information. What I will do is post a flyer and if they are interested they will contact you.” Old Chris was fishing. His job was to find the talent and with my burdened schedule, this idiot wanted me to do his job for him. How convenient. Chris thought I was a hillbilly without realizing that I was filming commercials for Whataburger at 17 years old and well aware of media and production. I’ve worked in the film industry for years. Cindy and I listened to his crazy demands for a few days while we were busy as heck before calling him out on the contract he sent me. He didn’t sign it. Chris thought he was smart. In reality he was a smart ass.

Your stories have value to media outlets. Your lives warrant protecting. A standard reality contract is entirely and wholly one sided. If someone sends you a contract and they are in a hurry for you to sign it, send it to me. I will review it and revise it to protect you. If someone isn’t paying your travel and hotel accommodations, they can’t afford you. Be aware of contracts that take everything you have and give you nothing in return. They exist. They are also called “standard reality contracts.”

Many years ago, Cindy and I were told to fly to LA for “pitch meetings.” Pitch meetings are where your production company introduces you to the network. They want to meet “the talent” AKA, you. Your the talent. I asked “who is paying for expenses?”

The production company answered “we can’t afford to cover travel but we really need you here.” If a production company can’t pay your travel, they can’t afford you. Remember this. It’s important.

Now, back to protecting yourself and your assets and assuming no liability with debts of your fiancée, if you need help creating a document that accomplishes this, contact me. Your money matters.

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Loyalty, Love, And Laying It All On The Table. Marriage, Mergers & Messes…

It’s not uncommon for me to get a “problem call” on wedding day. In fact, it’s common and a regular occurrence.

For two months now these “problem calls” have been rolling in. They aren’t coming from my clients in numerous states marrying an inmate either.

Instead they are coming from my “traditional clients.” Standard bookings from Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners, or a venue I’m on staff at.

My traditional clients are and can be my “trickier group.” Why? Because during this pandemic the changes they’ve been forced to make in order to get married have left them anxious and occasionally event angry. “They had a plan. They had a guest list.”

They had thought of everything and what they missed I had thought of for them.

Neither my clients, my staff or myself could ever have “planned for Covid-19.”

What was today’s problem? My bride decided that she didn’t want her mother in law to be walked down the aisle by the groom aka her son.

I was advised by the bride to advise the mother of the groom of her “change in plans.”

I had questions as to why what had been rehearsed was now being changed at the 11th hour?

Apparently, last night at the rehearsal dinner held at a restaurant that wouldn’t allow more than 25 guests at a time, an argument broke out about who could go in. This is a rather new problem since restaurants in Fort Worth have reopened. For a month and a half the rehearsal dinner was swapped for a backyard barbecue or Uber eats.

I’m “new” to these pandemic changes myself and didn’t attend the rehearsal dinner although I was invited because I had another commitment and because I haven’t eaten in a restaurant for over two months now. Like many others, I’m cautious about being out in public. I need to stay healthy for my clients. I cannot risk getting this virus by being with large groups of people. Since there was a “sideways shuffle” regarding who could get in the restaurant and who couldn’t, I’m THANKFUL I took a pass.

My bride was adamant regarding “putting her mother in law in her place because it’s my wedding.” I hear this all of the time spoken by people who take possession of the frivolity but take a pass on the expenses.

Sadly, the mother of the groom was the person who hired me AND effectively my actual client.

This type of “who is the boss” is so common with my traditional clients that after ten years of being the “go between” I should be accustomed to “awkward situations” but I’m not.

Sitting in my Sahara at Tom Thumb to get emergency flowers to create Bouteniers for the florist who had already sent me a text that she was “short” on flowers for the wedding party, I took a deep breath and called the mother of the groom to broach this change to the procession. Ugh.

My client answered on the second ring. “I was just about to call you. She’s impossible! The florist is also short on bouteniers for the parents of the couple can you take care of that?”

I was in the process of “taking care of it.” The number of times I’ve had to cover another vendor who didn’t cover their own obligations making their job mine is always a thorn in my side.

If you are a florist get it together and go over your order. Stop expecting everyone else especially me to CYA (cover YOUR ass) on wedding day.

I waited and listened to my client relive the entire rehearsal dinner fiasco. “I’m the mother of the groom. I’m writing the checks and even offered to pay for the rehearsal dinner and I’m not invited? What the hell is wrong with her? She’s writing checks her mouth can’t cover. This wedding is going to be stressful for me you know my mother is in the hospital. Wendy what can we do to soothe these ruffled feathers? I’m not in the habit of handing my credit card to someone and then being told I can’t attend a dinner to celebrate my son.”

Whoo the treacherous landscape of the life event business. Clients, chaos and a literal circus without the midway or the corn dogs.

Someone is always feeling slighted. Someone else is acting arrogant. Still someone else is feeling taken advantage of.

I often hear Cindy humming her big top theme music whether she’s sitting next to me or not.

My twin sisters famous quote “close the tent this circus has too many clowns” rang in my ears with the circus music fading away in the background. No rides. No corn dogs but plenty of suspense.

I checked my Corum watch to view the “countdown.” Two hours and counting. Damnit. The bride would be in hair and makeup. The groom would be killing time taking calls. Giving directions to the venue. Probably having a quick drink with the groomsmen.

I finally respond and explain why I called to my client aka the mother of the groom offended by the consistent arrogant behavior of the bride throughout the planning process.

“The bride wants to change the procession for the wedding. She’s decided that she wants you seated prior to the procession. I’m really sorry as you know to have to relate this rather odd request and don’t know how you wish for me to relay your response or what can be done to meet in the middle. Because you are my actual client though I’m going to suggest speaking to your son who is most likely unaware of this possible change of plans.”

I often calculate or guess who might be the “best candidate” for a buffer to work with in times of conflict.

On the one hand I have a mother slighted. On the other hand I have a bride acting like a Bridezilla. In the middle I have a groom trying to make his mother and his bride happy.

The groom holds a unique position of being able to put out this fire. However, it will be I who “broach this subject” rather than his mother in order to remove the possibility of chili stirring outside of the immediate problem.

I’m certain the groom has heard plenty already from all sides regarding that rehearsal dinner gone wrong.

I’ve encountered Groomzillas before but I’m lucky this morning. This groom is mild mannered and knows exactly what he’s dealing with.

His parents are divorced making his position even more stressful. His mother and father don’t want to be anywhere near each other.

The father of the groom isn’t paying for anything the mother of the groom is. She holds a position of power, custody and control and she knows it. She’s graceful about it but she’s writing the checks and anyone unaware of this fact is quickly enlightened by my client. She’s self assured. No nonsense. She wants everything perfect and she’s happy to pay for it.

She also offers to call her son for me but I quickly brush off the idea. I need her focused on relaxing and getting ready. I also don’t want an argument between the mother and son hours before a wedding. I will handle this myself with kid gloves.

“I will call your son in just a few minutes. I’m at Tom Thumb covering the florist so give me a few minutes. You go focus on getting beautiful and I will see you at the venue.”

I needed those minutes. Going into a wedding day knowing the possibility of a blow up exists isn’t for the faint hearted.

I’m reminded of the father of the bride in California who was offended about the pizza party rehearsal dinner. He wasn’t paying for anything but he sure was complaining about everything. “This is a cheap out on so and so’s part. It’s embarrassing. Pizza and no alcohol either. Do something. Tell them how unhappy I am about this.”

Umm hmm. First I was going to give this father of the bride a few options since he was so embarrassed. Stay tuned ya all because what he was expecting me to do and what I did were wholly and entirely surprising.

“I understand your frustration. As a planner and officiant, I often find myself in the middle of conflict. I’ve got a great idea though and it’s for you to offer to cover the cost of the rehearsal dinner which would also give you the opportunity to change the location. Where would you like to have the dinner? I will advise the wedding party of the location change.”

Tennis. It’s always shocking when you hit that ball right back into someone else’s court.

“I don’t have any plans to cover the cost of the rehearsal dinner. That’s the grooms families responsibility not mine.”

Sure you don’t. What you want is to complain and shame the other family who are on a limited budget and try to force them to pay for something they can’t afford. Sit down and shut up. The rehearsal dinner went on at the pizza parlor and everyone except the father of the bride had a great time. The salad bar was amazing too.

Yet another father of the bride in Dallas managed to get under my skin a few years ago. That event was crazy too. The mother and father were divorced. There was also a stepmother and godmother. Everyone wanted their “own wedding without so and so involved.” Four weddings for one couple? On a timeline and frustrated about this outrageous demand, I came up with the solution to limit this chaotic craziness on location to the father. “You want me to perform the same ceremony four times? Aren’t you and the stepmother married? That would be three ceremonies. First for the mother. Second for you and your wife. Third for the godmother. My fee for three ceremonies is $$$.

Tennis. It’s a game I play nearly everyday although not on a court. My game is with people.

“I wasn’t planning to pay you for three ceremonies. I was planning to pay you for one. I just don’t want to be around my idiotic ex wife or her former best friend aka the godmother.”

The number of times people tell me what they want but aren’t willing to pay for would astound you. It always astounds me.

“I’ve got a solution. If your wife is willing to pay for one ceremony and you are willing to pay for another, I will ask the godmother how important a third ceremony is to her. Your guests weren’t planning to sit through three ceremonies. It’s August and it’s hot. Let’s consider their needs.”

The godmother and mother agreed to “share a ceremony.” The father begrudgingly took the second ceremony after a coin flip to be in the first ceremony.

I called my groom leaving Tom Thumb to “broach the ceremony details.” As usual, whenever I’ve talked to him he was good natured and “aware of the situation.”

“What can we do to make my mom feel special and included?” Well, there are a number of things but what was important to her was to walk with her son. “I know you haven’t considered this before and may be able to communicate it to the bride for me but one day you will have children. One day your mother will be a grandmother. One day this day will be in the past but not forgotten. I’m going to suggest speaking to your bride and advising her of the marriage investment your mother put into this day because her parents couldn’t afford to. Sometimes it’s difficult to see the forest for the trees but everything your bride wanted has been addressed by your mother. She deserves to share this day with you. She earned it.”

I gave him a few minutes to ponder my thoughts on what was just and fair. He was in a precarious position of being the man in the middle. It’s not an easy position. It’s a position my son had years ago and it’s stressful. You can’t make everyone happy all of the time but you can be rational on wedding day. You can be respectful and you can be thankful for those who contributed to the expense of your wedding.

“Ms Wendy you’re right. I know that __ has been a bit tough to deal with throughout this process and I thought that once the wedding was over she would settle down but maybe I should talk to her and tell her it’s important to me.” Good plan.

The wedding went off without a hitch and the bride had an eye opening enlightenment regarding her new mother in law being an ally rather than an enemy vying for the attention of her new beau. One day she will be a mother and her parents who bothered to show up at the wedding but didn’t bother to do anything else will probably show up at the birth of her child but her new mother in law will be involved. Excited. Shopping for her new grandchild and an active part of its life.

Why parents push the person their children are marrying away I have no idea. Marriage is a merger. It merges families. It blends people who may not blend well.

I’m glad we were scheduled so early today as I head to my next “socially distant ceremony.” I’m happy that things worked out and I had time to enjoy my coffee while sitting in the parking lot watching guests take selfies and wait their turn to congratulate my couple.

“When KINDNESS is CONSISTENT it becomes CONSTANT.” Cindy Daniel

Socially distant weddings are so odd to me. I miss being in a room crammed with guests and family. I miss the party environment. The celebration. The precious moments.

What I also miss the most are my prison weddings. I can’t wait for visitation to reopen. There are no arguments over rehearsal dinners or the procession. There are no issues of entitlement. There are amazing people who are thrilled to be getting married and thankful for the opportunity…