Category: Destination Bookings

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Twelve Hours On The Road And The Expenses Of Being A Prison Wedding Officiant. Risk, Reward & Reality…

When people come to me seeking an Officiant many of them say the same thing. What is it? “I just need someone to walk in and officiate my wedding.” The problem? Your prison wedding location is 5 hours or 6 or more from my location ONE WAY. “Just walk in?” You are “simplifying the process of getting there” far too much my friend. 

Travel is expensive. When you drive as much as I do, it doesn’t take your accountant to point out the facts. Driving 2k-3k miles a WEEK is a hefty investment of my time to walk into a prison and officiate your wedding ceremony. Leading up to wedding day, I’ve talked to you numerous times. I’ve answered your emails. I’ve addressed your concerns and I’ve committed myself to simplifying a very confusing process. I’ve overcome any and all issues to assist you in getting your marriage license by sending you to another county clerk or refiling an I60 that had previously been denied. Education and experience are key elements to a Prison wedding Officiant. If you don’t know what you are doing, this isn’t the business for you. 

You aren’t “just hiring someone to officiate your wedding.” You are hiring someone to plan it and someone to drive hours to get to it too. 

You aren’t just hiring an Officiant. You are hiring a driver. A planner. You are hiring someone who will take your calls for weeks or months. Someone knowledgeable about the rules pertaining to inmate marriage is DIFFICULT to find but you found me. I didn’t advertise because I didn’t need to either. My reputation is built on my dedication to making your Prison wedding as close to perfect as it can be.,

“My MORALS, are LIKE a GOOD set of TIRES, everything I HAVE is RIDING on THEM, and you can TRUST me to perform the task I’ve been retained to perform.” 

My brother in law, Steve is a truck driver. For fifty plus years now he’s been paid to drive someone else’s truck. He’s paid by the hour to roll across highways nationwide while dealing with muscle aches from doing so. Steve doesn’t pay for gas, repairs or insurance. He’s paid to drive. A traveling prison Officiant is also paid to drive. In fact, I drive up to 3k miles a week. 

What you REALLY need is to know is that whoever you hire to officiate your inmate wedding will show up. That your officiant will be on time, realiable and have adequate transportation. That your officiant will take your emails and phone calls while answering and addressing your questions and concerns. That your officiant will walk you through an often confusing process. That if you encounter a denial to your inmate marriage that your officiant can educate you as to how to have the inmate refile the I60 or correct the issues of the denial. The last part of your Prison wedding process is knowing that your officiant will show up on time and ready to go to work. 

My role is far more than just showing up to officiate your wedding. I’ve spent weeks and months talking to you, calling the Unit and guiding you through the process before gassing up my vehicle and risking another broken windshield. The cost? $350 plus for the windshield alone. Tires? Michelin Defenders at $995 a set. Mounted and balanced? $1127. Synthetic oil changes? $69 plus $19.99 for the filter. Gasoline? $35-40 a tank. I don’t “cheap out” when it comes to “getting there.”

Hours on the road? Both ways? Easily a minimum of 5-12 hours A DAY. Miles on my vehicle? Tens of thousands. When I worked as a brand marketing consultant, I was paid forty nine cents a mile. See where I’m going with this? 

By the way, I’m on my third SUV in two and a half years for those wondering just how much time I spend driving. In fact, in 25k more miles to Texas Prisons, I’m getting another SUV. I don’t keep SUVs beyond 100k miles to ensure I don’t have mechanical issues or problems. It isn’t inexpensive and much less easy to be me. I read each and every Administrative Directive update specifically to read educated to protocol within ANY state I conduct inmate marriages within. For those who assume my role is easy or fluid, a wake up call is in order here. My role is by far more involved than anyone realizes. 

For anyone thinking “I can do that” you will need the education to overcome unexpected issues during the prison wedding planning process. You need to know the rules and policies. You need to have the clients. You need to have income set aside for unexpected expenses and you need to be able to support yourself getting into this business. It looks easy to others because they have no real idea what my role entails. 

I’m sought after for solid reasons and I earned my reputation. This isn’t a job for the meek, the halfhearted or folks who plan to get rich quick at a single income families expense. 

Being a Prison wedding Officiant is a job for someone dedicated, financially sound and honorable. This is a job for someone who has the answers to questions. This is a job for someone willing to take calls and address concerns at any hour of the day. This job takes planning. Preparation. Patience. Your are the clients best friend. Their advisor. Their go to. Their strongest advocate. You are bold, brave, resilient, educated and responsible OR you won’t last long in this industry. These are facts that anyone following me and assuming that Cindy and I run from one fun filled day into the next need to understand and more importantly comprehend. I know policy and procedure within any state I officiate prison weddings. I have to in order to overcome a hurdle a wrench in the prison wedding process solely in order to overcome such issues. My clients encounter hurdles on a regular basis. From chaining out to catching a charge to being listed as CLM to the law library refusing to notarize an Absentee Affidavit to the county clerk refusing to issue a marriage license to the Warden denying to request to marry, I’ve seen it all and I’ve solved it all. I know how. This isn’t a “flying by the seat of your pants” endeavor. This job isn’t for anyone planning to “wing it.” Your clients count on you to know the answers and address their concerns. You need to be well versed on marriage laws as well as policy and procedure. You need to take calls from clients devastated about a denial and find solutions. You are in it for the long haul. A Prison wedding can take weeks, months and in my Torres Clients case even a year to plan and execute. Patience and perseverance are only a part of what I do and whom I do it for. Dedication is a requirement. 

Are you willing to put your clients needs above your own? Are you righteous? In the heart of a Public Servant there must a regard for others whom you serve as being more important than yourself (cf. Phil. 2:3 ff.). God requires that leaders whom He appoints to govern a country, His ordained Institution of the State (cf. Rom. 13:1) be a blessing to the people it serves — benefactors to the world in which they live. Ecclesiastes 8:9 specifically speaks to the selflessness a leader must possess in his job: A man has exercised authority over another to his own hurt. This is a powerful way of putting it: a leader is to be so selfless that it hurts him or her. 

Being a Prison wedding planner and Officiant REQUIRES putting your own needs last. Your other clients and even your own family can take a back seat when a crying phone call comes in that requires your immediate attention. I’ve answered crying phone calls from clients at all hours of the day or night. My clients know they can count on me to solve problems. My clients call me first because they realize they can trust me and that I will drop everything to find the answers they need. 

Let’s take my Ellis Unit client, Amanda. The Unit wouldn’t notarize an Absentee Affidavit. The Absentee Affidavit is a requirement to purchase a marriage license in Texas. An Unsworn Declaration will not and cannot be accepted in place of the Absentee Affidavit. 

TDCJ Administrative Directive
IV….

Notary Public Services
Documents: Under both federal law (28 U.S.C. § 1746) and state law (Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code § 132.001), offenders incarcerated in Texas may use an unsworn declaration under penalty of perjury in place of a written declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit sworn before a notary public. 

A. Documents for which notarization is requested by an attorney, documents specifically exempted from the laws on unsworn declarations, and documents destined for another state or country requiring notary public service shall continue to require notary public service.

B. Scheduling: Offenders may request notary public service by submitting an I-60 to the unit ATC supervisor. Offenders requesting notary public service shall explain why an unsworn declaration will not be legally sufficient. Requests shall be acted upon, either denied or provided, within 72 hours of the receipt of the request.

In order to obtain the notary seal on an Absentee Affidavit, the inmate must provide reasons why an Unsworn Declaration is insufficient. If you cannot buy a marriage license, you aren’t going to be getting married. After overcoming the Units refusal to notarize the Absentee Affidavit, Amanda encountered not one but two county clerks unwilling to issue her marriage license. I instructed her to go to Walker County where she was finally issued a marriage license. A Prison wedding planner and Officiant needs to know what to do and how to do it. 

See where I’m going with this? Many of the “I can do what she does” folks have no real idea of what I can do. What I’m aware of or the length of time spent reviewing and understanding policy and procedure. 

What you are paying for is hiring someone reliable who you know will be there. Someone who hands over the responsibility of walking their dog to their husband or having their husband eat dinner alone while I’m on the road. 

My home life and my other clients booking traditional events on the weekend are all part of my life. In any given month, I’m literally juggling 10-15 prison Units and clients. Each and every client is important. I treat all of them with the attention they deserve. I never decline calls. If I’m on duty, Cindy answers texts, emails and phone calls for me. 

 “CHARACTER can be DESCRIBED in THREE words, ATTITUDE, HONESTY and ACTIONS” God bless us all.

Cindy Daniel

What you are also paying for is someone who doesn’t drive ten to twelve hours across Texas alone. My twin sister, Cindy accompanies me and has her household run by others while she’s away with me. My husband isn’t comfortable having his wife driving across Texas alone for 8-15 hours in a day. 

My sister is not only my copilot and navigator as she is also my secretary on the road. “We’ve got Goree Unit asking about the law library filing the I60.” My response? “Call her and I will walk her through checking the status with inmate records.” A text comes in. Cindy reads it “Buster Cole needs to reschedule because the Unit is requiring a letter from her P.O. And she can’t get it before the wedding.” My answer? “Call Buster Cole so I can reschedule.” After rescheduling, I call the client to tell her exactly what I need her letter to say on the rescheduled day of her Unit Wedding. My Gib Lewis client calls and I answer on Bluetooth. “We have been denied.” I must find out why in order to better understand what needs to be done. I ask questions. An I60 is a very specific document. It doesn’t simply read Approved or Denied. I call Gib Lewis while driving then call the client then call the Courts in Huntsville. Twenty four hours later, the I60 is Approved and I schedule the wedding. 

Anyone riding in my SUV would be surprised at the number of times my cell rings or a text comes in. It’s shocking. From family to clients to Units to venues to inquiries, my phone literally never stops ringing. A joyous call from my Michael Unit client to schedule her Vow Renewal? You bet. I’m the first person any client calls when the inmate makes parole. Why? Because I have a strong bond with my clients and also because they want a real wedding and want me to officiate. They want their friends and family. They want to wear a wedding dress that doesn’t cover their shoulders. They want more than two peck kisses and hugs at their ceremony. They want it all and for previous clients who married at a Unit, they get it all. These Vow Renewals ARE and ALWAYS WILL BE a true celebration to the testament of love enduring all things while overcoming all things. 

The amount of time I spend driving to a Unit is surprising since my clients and I only have 25 minutes “inside” for the ceremony. Getting approved and getting there are only part of my day with a client. 

Upon leaving the Unit, Cindy and I find great areas for bridal or groom photos and unload my loaded SUV full of bouquets, bouteniers, tiaras, furs and more. We love our photo shoots with clients and our clients love them even more. I’m always asked “why do you provide free photos and why did you go to the expense to create an inventory for your clients to use at photo shoots?” The answer is that Unit photos are disappointing to my clients. They are also $3 each. I buy 3 Unit photos on wedding day and give them to my clients. 

Having anyone be “thrilled” with their Unit photos on wedding day has never occurred yet. A few of my clients have even cried about the often disappointing quality of wedding day photos at Prisons. 

To overcome the problem, I decided to do my own photo shoots for clients and gift them bridal or groom photos as a courtesy. Cindy is often the photographer while I grab a new bouquet or change my clients tiara or go find a fur stole I think would coordinate with the bouquet. We work as a team on location. 

My husband likes to have me home regardless of what hour it might be. I never rent a hotel in Texas although I always do in our other states. Why? To keep my TDCJ Clients costs lower that’s why. Outside of Texas clients incur lodging expenses. 

My brother in law drives 8-10 hours a day. It’s not uncommon for me to drive 8-12 hours a day. Steve is regulated on driving hours. If he goes over his hours, his company pays for a hotel as well as an hourly rate for Steve to sit and wait to drive again. 

What you are paying for is dependability. You might have hired me AFTER hiring someone else that let you down on all counts but… you chose to take that risk. You gambled on someone else giving you the same quality of care that I do. You also lost your money by placing that bet to the “other Officiant.” Get it back. Demand a refund. THEN CONTACT ME. 

For over two years now, brides and grooms planning a prison wedding have come to me AFTER INITIALLY hiring the “WRONG OFFICIANT” in Texas. This “other officiant” who didn’t bother show up also took your money. 

The “other officiant” you have already paid who should have been doing all of the above I’ve described is also guilty of theft of services. These “other Officiants” ALSO owe you a refund. Get it and THEN call me. 

By the time a few of you have come to me, you have almost always “lost money to that other officiant.” Get your money back. I cannot stress this enough. Verify your Officiants credentials and track history while you are at it too. Educate yourselves. Quality, Consistency, Reliability and Loyalty are what make Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners, Texas Twins Treasures and TDCJ Officiant DIFFERENT. WE KEEP OUR PROMISES! 

“Don’t EXPECT a BLUE chip EXPERIENCE, from a BOTTOM of the BARREL business. RELIABILITY, ACCOUNTABILITY and EXPERIENCE matter.” 

When you hire myself OR my staff, you can rest assured that unlike these “other Officiants,” you will never have to worry about us returning your phone calls, addressing your concerns or much less and Heaven Forbid– showing up on wedding day. You can count on us which is far more than I can say for these “other Officiants.” 

Cindy and I are stopped all the time by others reading banners on our SUVs for Texas Twins Events and TDCJ Officiant. When we tell these folks that we perform prison weddings, they are at first shocked then intrigued then interested in how we can teach them to do what we do. True story. 

Cindy and I have been interviewed by production companies, radio stations and news media about how we made this work and how we got into this business. We give people the weddings we didn’t have. The flowers, the photos, the attention to details. 

One interviewer actually asked me “can you elaborate and tell others how they can get into this business?” My answer? “No. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist?” I meant it. 

While others including a few of my own family members laughed years ago about “my plan to create affordable options for event services,” Cindy and I didn’t. 

Perseverance pays off. Merging Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create a barter option? More laughs but, the people NO ONE ELSE wanted to help came to us. 

From rich to poor, we literally covered every base. From LBGT clients to others wanting to marry an inmate, we have never limited creative requests. Quite the contrary. Instead, we’ve rebranded and expanded to address any and all creative requests. We’ve also earned a stellar reputation in an industry of no show Officiants AND Planners who take no pride in their OWN performance. 

Today’s blog will outline why making the mistake of hiring someone else isn’t my luggage and it isn’t my trip. Quality and reliability aren’t inexpensive. You get what you pay for. If you’ve paid the wrong person, get your money back and then contact me or my staff. I cannot stress this point enough. 

The expenses of being a traveling prison officiant are expensive. The vehicle, the repairs, the maintenance, the hours on the road and the role of an inmate Officiant are many. You have questions I have answers. Experience matters. Experience isn’t inexpensive either. 

Reliability and consistency aren’t inexpensive and I can no longer take on everyone else’s previous client at a discount because they hired the wrong person to begin with making your burden and subsequent mistake my expense. 

Before you hire someone to take on the role of your prison wedding Officiant, understand that this is a serious job that requires a hefty investment of my time, product knowledge of marriage laws as well as policy and procedure at Units within each state I officiate as well as my vehicle and my pocketbook. I prepare for these trips by ensuring I have no mechanical issues that would impede my ability to be there on time and ready to work. 

Leaving home in the dark and arriving home in the dark are very long days. Unexpected broken windshields are an expense to anyone driving across back roads to Prisons. Tires, gasoline, and even the possibility of an accident and more are part of the expenses of being a prison Officiant. 

When a traditional client books me to officiate their wedding within the DFW area, I ask “is there a rehearsal?” Why? Because there is an additional fee for a rehearsal. Do you know why? Because I’m driving to the same location twice. A rehearsal is a separate ceremony. 

There’s a reason that I also ask “what is the location?” Because there is an additional fee for travel. Time spent driving is time that could be spent doing something else like spending time with my family. 

My time is valuable. My time on your wedding day is spent making your Dream Event a reality. 

The fee for a JP to officiate your ceremony in Texas is $100. The Judge isn’t leaving his job to travel to you. Instead, you travel to them. 

These days everyone wants or thinks they can be a prison Officiant. The MANY WHO THINK MY ROLE IS SIMPLY TO SHOW UP are mistaken about my job being easy. It isn’t. It’s complicated. It’s knowing where to send you to get that marriage license. It’s knowing marriage law. It’s understanding the Administrative Directive to find solutions to YOUR PROBLEMS. It’s answering crying and hysterical phone calls 24/7 from someone who encountered a problem either with a CLM Status or a Denial on an I60 Request For Inmate Marriage. 

There are many “who think they can do this job” but there is only one of me. While I have others on my staff who are authorized to officiate your prison wedding in many states, it is I who have the answers to unexpected problems. When someone on my Team encounters something unexpected, they call me. I know what to do. I didn’t “suddenly wake up educated to finding solutions” either. I educated myself spending hours pouring over policy and procedures in numerous states as well as Texas. I’ve spent hours and hours and hours reading and retaining knowledge to overcome the unexpected. Corrective Affidavits? Yes. A Warden unaware that a CLM couple are entitled to a legal wedding? Hang on while I fix this and contact the Courts to call the Unit. Visitation revoked, let me tell you how to file an Appeal. Yes, I know what to do. 

These “other Officiants” BELIEVE THEIR ONLY RESPONSIBILITY AND REQUIREMENTS are to show up on wedding day. These “other Officiants” are often guilty of failing to even do that! I’ve had a FEW FOLKS contact me after making the mistake of hiring someone else. If you want someone to get the job done, you hire me or my staff FIRST. We don’t have mistakes or excuses. We know what to do and how to do it. We exceed client expectations and give you a beautiful day with beautiful photos as a courtesy. 

WE DO YOUR EVENT DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE WE CARE WHEN THESE “OTHER OFFICIANTS” DON’T. 

I can’t tell you how many clients have told me “I want to do what you do.” But, these folks have no real idea of what’s involved or the expenses of what I do and more importantly who I do it for. They don’t realize that knowing what to do or how to do it are based on education and experience. They fail to realize that it takes money to make money. Operating a business or even several is a hefty expense. I do not and will not advertise. Why? Because this expense would result in raising my fees and I don’t market new clients. My role is to focus on existing clients first. In fact, I limit new bookings specifically to keep from spreading myself too thin for existing clients. 

It’s impossible to work another job and officiate inmate weddings. Why? Because you must be available that’s why. You must have reliable transportation and you must have knowledge of the Administrative Directive when problems arise. It’s also your job to be the fixer. It’s your job to overcome a snarky county clerk refusing to issue a license to your client. It’s your job to hold someone’s hand unfamiliar it’s the process and the timeline involved. It’s your job to mail that license, maintain your vehicle, juggle your home life and family and make it all work. 

It’s your job to exceed expectations and earn a stellar reputation in an industry that these days has everyone jumping on the bandwagon to become a prison Officiant with little or no clue as to what is actually involved. Unlike these others, I’m well versed. I’m educated. Knowledgeable. Reliable. Consistent. 

I don’t find my clients. They find me. Many find me AFTER they’ve hired and paid someone else. I can no longer make exceptions and or discount YOUR fee because YOU hired the wrong person to officiate your prison wedding. 

My soft heart has cost me money again and again. How so? Because I’ve made exceptions based on your story. I will no longer “make exceptions” because you’ve hired the wrong officiant. You chose to make an expensive mistake. Experience is a great teacher. You’ve learned but your mistake cannot and will not be my burden. 

Frankly, it’s unfair to my other clients as well as myself and staff to do so as well as a financial burden to me because you’ve trusted someone else who let you down. GET YOUR MONEY BACK FROM THE “OTHER OFFICIANTS!”

Get your money back but don’t expect me or my staff to make special exceptions because you’ve trusted the wrong person. We operate a business. This business has Expenses. This business also has a web designer, accountant and other factors as well as time, insurance, vehicle repairs, gasoline, tires and windshields or EVEN the possibility of having an accident while driving to your prison wedding. 

Today’s blog is an update to changes for people coming to me who paid someone else then expected me to discount my fee because they had done so. 

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County Clerks, Ellis Unit, & Ferguson Unit My Role Requires Determination, Dedication & Hours Of Driving…

For months now, getting Amanda a date to marry at Ellis has been a hurdle. Many of my clients encounter clerks who are opinionated and far less than helpful when they realize my client is marrying an inmate. 

One clerk in Eastland actually had the audacity to ask Amanda “why would you want to marry an inmate?” A clerk in Abilene told Amanda that “marrying an inmate was illegal.” This couldn’t be further from the truth. However, I don’t have time to educate clerks and my clients don’t have patience either. If you work at a clerks office and have an attitude, find a new job. 

These people are supposed to understand their job but don’t. If your job is to issue marriage licenses, you are being paid to do so. There’s a reason I send my clients away from county clerks who are obviously untrained and the reason continues to be upsetting for clients. The reason is that being challenged by a clerk who doesn’t know the law or has an attitude when trying to buy a marriage license is the last thing anyone needs. 

Opinions of clerks issuing licenses to the public should be censured and yet they aren’t. The tragedy of both arrogance and ignorance in county clerks offices continues. No one buying a marriage license should be forced to endure “the opinions of a clerk.” Your role is to serve the public.

Clerks aren’t the only people impeding the prison wedding planning process. Last month, Chaplain Jasper informed Amanda fiancé of a date to marry at Ellis Unit. The problem was the Chaplain didn’t bother to notify me or check my schedule. I was already scheduled at a confirmed date at Coffield and Michael Units on the date given to the inmate. 

Obviously I cannot be in two places two hours from each other at the same time. I juggle new inquiries and bookings with existing clients on a daily basis. 

If I’ve bumped your request for an Officiant  to the following month when you were trying to book with me, it was entirely due to my schedule for existing clients. I do not and will not book more than 15 new clients in Texas per month. Why? Because rotating clients awaiting dates take first priority. 

This new trend of Chaplains “notifying the inmate” rather than my client or myself requires me to call the Unit to reschedule when I’m already booked at another Unit on the date in question which I did but this situation would become a fiasco entirely due to the Chaplain. It would also require me to put on my Boss Boots to get Amanda married. Buckle up for yet another bumpy ride and why hiring an Officiant involves far more than the Officiant “bothering to show up” ya all. 

On June 18, 2019 at 9:07AM after calling Chaplain Jasper to explain that I couldn’t be in Tennessee Colony and Huntsville AT THE SAME TIME ON THE SAME DAY and requested that the Chaplain move my Ellis clients to the afternoon which would have given me time to move from Tennessee Colony to Huntsville within about two hours of moving from Coffield to Michael Unit to Ellis. 

Tennessee Colony is two hours from Ellis Unit. The Chaplain told that “an afternoon scheduling won’t work and you will need to move the date.” Ugh. I verbally changed the date to July 9th at 1PM on the phone with Chaplain Jasper and subsequently (as requested by him) also sent an email confirming July 9, 2019 at 1PM. It’s not unusual for me to confirm a date by email to a Unit. In fact, I prefer to do so. 

For those of you unaware of this, I log all phone calls, text messages and emails. I’m OCD. I don’t forget anybody and certainly don’t make mistakes regarding wedding day. Weddings are Life Events. These emails would prove important. Stay tuned. 

On July 9th at 7:48AM, an email from Chaplain Jasper regarding Amanda’s wedding a few hours later came in. Alarmed, I called the Unit and couldn’t locate Chaplain Jasper. What the? On wedding day? 

I also called Amanda who had left home hours ago to drive to Ellis Unit. I THEN DECIDED to drive to Ellis anyway. Why? Why not? This wedding was a confirmed date. Amanda had been planning this day for nearly a month. 

Amanda had also tried to buy her marriage license to but encountered dipshit clerks who didn’t know how to perform their jobs. Amanda had been through the ringer and I wasn’t about to let an email cancelling a confirmed date at Ellis ON WEDDING DAY have me throwing in the towel with my client on the road. In fact, to overcome the marriage license issue, Amanda was going to Huntsville to buy her license an hour prior to meeting me at Ellis. I had sent her the online link to Twogether In Texas. Luckily, Amanda had taken the course. 

For clients and readers unaware of the many “providers” of this course and how they aren’t correctly performing their role, I’m going to jump right in and elaborate as to why I lobbied the online option. First off, as a provider you are supposed to be teaching the 8 hour course not mailing the materials. Secondly, many of these “providers” are failing to provide the certificate which is why consumers are paying you in the first place. As a provider or instructor, this system wasn’t put in place to pad your pockets. It was put in place for premarital education. Because of the misuse of this program, the online option has been available for two years because folks like me argued the fact that providers were not instructing the course and instead selling materials they were provided for free to others. Take the online course. Skip the third party who isn’t teaching the course. What a racket! My Hodge Unit bride paid yet another “other officiant” and never received her certificate. Just go online. I will send you the link myself.  

Throughout my three hour drive to Huntsville, I checked my email. Nothing from Chaplain Jasper. I also checked on Amanda who had bought her marriage license with no issues in Walker County. 

I arrived thirty minutes early to Ellis Unit and returned calls while waiting on Amanda. I had no idea if my barnstorming theory of dressing up and showing up on wedding day would work but I knew this… Amanda had taken a day off that she wouldn’t be able to do again for some time and we needed to do everything possible to attempt to get married on July 9th. You will never get a yes unless you ask for it and we were about to do just that. 

At 12:30PM, Amanda parked beside me. She was also nervous about whether or not we could go ahead with the wedding. We both walked to the guard up in the birdcage to announce our arrival for a wedding. 

The assistant Warden arrived to tell us “I spoke with Chaplain Jasper yesterday and he said that he didn’t have any weddings on the schedule and because he’s not here, I have no paperwork.” 

Calmly and I cannot stress this enough, I elaborated on those emails. I was asked to go get my phone and hand it over to review said emails. Since I had responded to the 7:48AM email, I was also asked “why did you drive out here anyway?” I answered “Amanda left Eastland early this morning and was already on the road and in my opinion, we had nothing to lose since this was a confirmed date.” He was kind enough to consider why we went ahead and drove on. He was also confused as to why the Chaplain had “forgotten” about our wedding and yet managed to email us that “the wedding would be cancelled and the inmate would be advised of a rescheduling.” 

Amanda and I asked if he could try to locate the I60. We were in fact, asking a favor and since the Chaplain hadn’t bothered to tell anyone other than me in that email about the confirmed date, we were blessed by encountering someone who cared about our journey. 

Thankfully, this Warden located the paperwork and the wedding went on. If I had simply taken Chaplain Jasper’s brush off email, Amanda would have taken the day off and driven five hours to Huntsville for the hell of it. 

By being determined and having proof that there was obviously a wedding scheduled, we were truly blessed to find someone who helped us. The fact that I had documentation of those emails literally saved the day. 

God Bless that Warden. Amanda’s Husband was going through emotions himself since he was told he wasn’t getting married. He also knew that the Warden and the guard who took photos were the reason that he was getting married. There are truly good folks working at Prisons. I’ve met them.I’m in and out of Prisons everyday. I also “hear horror stories” from clients but there are good people at Units. 

There are people who care and there are people who understand. That Warden and that guard were two of those people. Leaving Ellis, I followed Amanda to the clerks office. You know, the clerk who was so nice issuing that license hours earlier. Again, stay tuned. We arrived at the clerks office and Amanda handed her the marriage license she had issued earlier. The clerk suddenly got an attitude and said “you can’t get married today there’s a waiting period.” What the? Was this lady kidding? She had processed the paperwork herself. She had also put the waiver on the back of the license. 

I said “she has a Twogether In Texas certificate waiving the waiting period.” The clerk THEN said “that ONLY discounts the license.” I said “the certificate discounts the license AND waives the waiting period.” This clerk needed a new job. She also needed a new attitude. But, naughty or nice, she wasn’t going to intimidate me. 

I’ve been with Twogether in Texas since 2009 and if you are a county clerk attempting to tell people that a certificate specifically put in place to BOTH discount the license AND waive the waiting period is incorrect, I AM happy to educate you and, I will. It’s your job to understand this program. 

A clerks job is to issue marriage licenses so it would make sense to understand your role as a county official and your responsibility to understand the process. 

After I had challenged this clerk to pull the paperwork for the marriage license that she had filed hours earlier, she FINALLY recorded the license. This clerk had also overcharged for a certified copy but after all the things Amanda went through to get that license, I also paid the fee of $37 for a $27 certified copy. I had my reasons for whipping out that bank card though so read on. 

I had asked this clerk for a price sheet since I knew damn well the fee for a certified marriage license was intentionally being inflated. “We don’t have cost or price sheets.” I was told this because she knew darn well that providing me proof on the spot of the cost discrepancy wouldn’t be in her best interest. I played along. I wanted Amanda to get that certified copy. 

I’m in and out of clerks office everyday and can assure you that EVERY county clerk has a price list. It isn’t one price for so and so for George and yet another price for Bobby. County Clerk costs are the same to everyone. 

I know all too well from years ago when dealing with county clerks refusing to issue same sex marriage licenses that the attitudes of certain clerks have not changed in Texas. 

Someone should be secret shopping county clerks and I’m not kidding. 

Let’s review why Twogether In Texas exists… House Bill 2685 during the 2007 legislative session, increases the fee for a marriage license from $30 to $60.00. It also allows couples who complete an eight-hour premarital education course to waive paying the $60 of their marriage license fee, and they will not have to wait 72 hours to get married. Couples who complete a course will receive a certificate that is good for one year. The information can be found in the Texas Administrative Code 2.204 effective September 1. 2008. 

If you want more information from the TEXAS FAMILY CODE on marriage licenses you may access that web site and click on “The Marriage Relationship Chapter 2”. This may answer any questions in more detail about the requirements for the marriage license.

On Walker County’s OWN WEBSITE this information can be found and yet the clerk tried to tell Amanda “you can’t be married today as I just issued the license.” The same license WITH A WAIVER on the back of it. The same license that requires the Twogether certificate to obtain the discount and the waiver the clerk argued “hadn’t been filled out.” I could not believe that this clerk was pointing out something that she herself had failed to complete BUT she was. 

You know, the same license she had issued a few hours earlier. Come on County Clerks with attitude. Get off your high horse and off that personal phone call and start paying attention to your job and the general public. 

What if I HADN’T joined Amanda to file her marriage license at the clerks office? Thankfully, neither I or Amanda were going to be bullied by this clerk who FIRST refused to file the marriage license then also decided to upcharge the fee for a certified license copy to the price of an Informal Marriage just because she thought she could. 

When people tell me “I can do what you do. Can you teach me how?” They literally have no real idea what it actually takes to do my job and the majority of the time they wouldn’t put forth the effort either. I’m driven, determined, passionate and perseverant. I also encounter obstacles on a regular basis. From a CLM status to a lost I60 to an idiotic clerk to an unorganized Chaplain and more, prison weddings can be as chaotic as large traditional events and they are. 

Back to the Huntsville clerk- I went ahead and charged the transaction for a certified license with my Frost Bank card specifically to document the upcharged fee. You know the inflated cost of an Informal Marriage License versus the actual cost of a Certified Marriage License. 

NOW let’s review the posted fee for a certified copy. Don’t be shocked because I was WILLING to pay this upcharge put upon us SOLELY because I challenged this clerk regarding the waiting period waiver and validity of the Twogether in Texas certificate pertaining to Amanda’s license. 

Ten dollars might sound insignificant until you realize that Amanda and I were effectively challenged on getting that license filed AT ALL for twenty minutes. Paying an upcharge AFTER this confrontation was effectively the icing on the cake at that courthouse. 

When it comes to legal issues, especially pertaining to marriage law, I’m educated and well versed and I’m also not easily intimidated. I was well aware of the ACTUAL FEE for a certified marriage copy too. I bit my tongue though as not to upset Amanda. Frankly, it was already upsetting to have a clerk telling you she wouldn’t file and much record the license “due to the waiting period.” Nothing I do is easy. Sure, others think it looks easy. It isn’t. I’m not successful because I’m lucky. I’m successful because I’m perseverant, educated and determined. There’s a difference. I don’t have an easy button. I have a get it done button. 

An Informal Marriage License CANNOT have an Absent Party. An Informal Marriage License doesn’t look like a traditional marriage license either. These two documents are remarkably different. The circumstances and use for both documents are also different. The cost is different. They are two entirely different things but, this clerk decided to upcharge the fee for a certified copy of a marriage license to an Informal Marriage License because SHE THOUGHT Amanda wouldn’t notice and I wouldn’t either. 

The clerk and her coworker might’ve assumed that they were both “getting even” for being challenged about that waiting period waiver. Perhaps they even snickered regarding their private joke. I’ve spent years in clerks offices. I’ve met nice ones and I’ve also met naughty ones who are opinionated about same sex Marriage AND inmates marrying. 

My Texas Twins Events clients remember all too well Kat and Tiffany McKay the same sex couple who couldn’t get a marriage license from Parker County because the clerk “had religious reasons for not issuing one.” My Team and our friends in the LBGT community picketed the courthouse and I also married Kat and Tiffany who were the basis of a news story titled “the first same sex couple issued a marriage license in Parker County marry.” The story in the Parker County Democrat detailed how difficult it was to obtain that marriage license. The story touched upon “Wendy and her team helping them get married” in the same story. Kat and Tiffany contacted me after hearing about Lisa and Terry Williams wedding. They had no flowers, they had no photographers. They had no Officiant. My ENTIRE TEAM gifted them their wedding. I’m that Wendy. I’m that committed. My entire family made their Dream Event a reality. 

The Parker County Clerk had an attitude too but, I have thousands of friends in the LBGT community and I had also found the time to silently protest with sandwich boards the ability for a same sex couple to purchase a marriage license. 

Jeff Mosier had reported in the Dallas Morning News since I was openly LBGT friendly while other vendors were hiding their affiliation in the closet. The story about my site crashing on the day of the Supreme Court ruling was big news but what Jeff didn’t report was how difficult it actually was for my clients to purchase a marriage license. Many Texas clerks refused to issue marriage licenses.

It was so difficult for our clients to find a LBGT friendly clerk to buy a marriage license from that my entire family literally “split up to accompany couples intimidated about the simple process of purchasing a marriage license” to courthouses throughout Texas for not days but WEEKS. 

Seventy percent of my bookings on the day of the Supreme Court ruling a day of much celebration for same sex couples wishing to marry were effectively moved because my clients couldn’t find clerks to issue their marriage licenses. 

So, if you are wondering “why does Wendy Wortham KNOW so much about county clerks?” Here’s your answer- I’ve been in so many courthouses over the years holding my clients hands that it would make your head swim. I’ve met a mixed bag of nuts at clerks offices. I’ve encountered opinionated clerks, discriminatory clerks, mean clerks, nice clerks, arrogant clerks and clerks who don’t believe in same sex marriage OR inmate marriage either.  

You REALLY should have followed up on that story Jeff. The real story was that the hundreds of couples who had been forced to have unification ceremonies rather than marriages who finally thought the ability to marry would be cut and dry were instead impeded in the ability to legally marry due entirely to clerks refusing to issue them a marriage license. 

I’m not shy or a wallflower. But, my dedicated readers already know this. Kat and Tiffany had a legal right to marry. The clerk wanted to grandstand and set an example. During that window of the Supreme Court ruling, I had clients all over Texas requesting my team accompany them to buy their license due to the intimidation they faced. We split up and covered courthouses far and wide to get our clients the marriage licenses numerous Texas clerks refused to issue. True story. 

The Huntsville clerk had actually CHARGED AMANDA for a Declaration of an Informal Marriage RATHER than a Certified Marriage License. What is the difference you might ask? I’m happy to elaborate. 

An Informal Marriage is one where BOTH parties are present and it’s wholly, entirely and completely different from a certified copy of a marriage license too. Obviously, the groom or both parties WERE NOT PRESENT. 

Let’s review Informal Vs Formal Marriage- Section 2.401 of the Texas Family Code establishes the requirements for an informal marriage, without obtaining a marriage license or having a marriage ceremony. One of the ways an informal marriage is established is by registering a duly executed declaration and oath with the county of their residence. Both parties must be present. Rather than buying a traditional or formal license, the couple swear an oath and file an Informal Marriage License. 

Amanda and I left the clerks office and the two idiots working there who attempted to screw up wedding day for Amanda. They are out there. You might just encounter a few of these types of people yourself at the clerks office BUT KNOW THIS- I know marriage law. I am not intimidated and I don’t care how ugly a county clerk is willing to get. I saw plenty of ugliness during a time when same sex couples who wanted to marry couldn’t EVEN AFTER the Supreme Court gave them the right to do so. County clerks impeded the process. Clerks paid to issue marriage licenses who refused to do so. 

I’ve seen too much sadness because a county clerk thought they were God. If I have an attitude, rest assured that I know there are clerks with attitude. I’ve seen them AND I’ve met them. 

If the Huntsville clerk had refused to record the marriage license, I would’ve been on the phone so fast to complain about it you have no idea. She expected us to leave and she underestimated both Amanda and I because we were not leaving without getting what we came for and that was recording the license AND getting a certified copy to mail to inmate records at Ellis. 

That clerk was WAY out of line. I don’t care where you work or who you are, if you think you are God and can do whatever you want, you also leave a paper trail and if you don’t, I’m happy to create one for you just like I did by buying that certified copy in Huntsville. I reported that clerk. 

For every other person going to Walker County planning to marry an inmate, you’re welcome. Maybe this lady “doesn’t think inmates should marry” or that she simply enjoys upsetting folks on wedding day but either way, I can assure you she was surprised to get a phone call about her confusion regarding Twogether in Texas and the fee discrepancy between an Informal Marriage Declaration and a Certified Marriage License Copy. 

My Ferguson Unit bride, Savannah had sent me a text on July 4th. Her truck had been stolen and she needed a ride from Dallas to Ferguson. I picked her up at 9:45AM on July 10, 2019. Together, we drove to the Unit and enjoyed a day full of fun conversation. 

I had packed several veils, bouquets and tiaras as well as a kimono I had sent photos of to Savanah. She loved the kimono and I gifted it to her as a wedding gift. We stopped a few miles from Ferguson for photos. I wanted to incorporate one of my latest veils into her photos. The red shoes were perfect for my kimono. Finding areas near Units for photos occasionally has me in fairly remote areas.While applying some hand location just outside the Unit, Savannah spilled a bit on her blouse but I’m a mom and I have EVERYTHING in my SUV including wet wipes. We cleaned up and adjusted makeup for a few more photos before drivin into the parking lot. I think of everything so you don’t have to. We were a few minutes early and walking up to the birds nest saw a beautiful bride waiting on her Officiant. 

I’m going to go over this again because this “particular Officiant is ALWAYS LATE!” Lacy from Wife and Inmate Connection and I have met up at Allred, Coffield and now Ferguson. My clients and I waited over thirty minutes at Allred because as usual Lacey was late AGAIN. The guards were less than friendly to Lacey’s client based on her tardiness as well. Sadly, the client who showed up on time and was forced to wait outside was being punished for her Officiants unprofessionalism. Left alone in the sun worried her Officiant wouldn’t show up after everything she had gone through to finally get to her wedding day only to be forced to wait alone infuriated me and my client, Savannah. We were angry for that other bride and the position Lacey had left her in. 

At Ferguson Unit, the guard first addressed the hemline of Lacey’s clients dress BEFORE telling her that her wedding would be cancelled if Lacey didn’t show up. How would you feel if you were that lady? You paid someone for a service. You trusted them. On wedding day you didn’t know if they would show up or not and the guard is singling you out because you are alone. Think about it. 

Being late with a bride waiting in the sun and wondering if you are going to bother to show up is the most unprofessional shit that I’ve ever heard of. The bride was advised by the guard “we have a 30 minute policy. If she doesn’t show up your wedding will be cancelled.” The poor bride nearly started crying AFTER being forced to pull down her hemline or change clothes from the guard. 

What kind of stupid idiot Officiant and I use THAT TERM LOOSELY puts a client who has entrusted her through this kind of concern ON THEIR WEDDING DAY?! 

I CANNOT stress this enough… HIRE someone you can trust. Weddings ARE LIFE EVENTS regardless of where they take place.

Since it was 1PM and the bride was scheduled at 1PM with NO Officiant on site, Savannah and I were escorted in ahead while that poor lady ran to her car to call Lacy. 

Ferguson will not allow you to wait inside. You must enter WITH YOUR OFFICIANT. Sadly, that poor bride was forced to wait on the hot pavement as Savannah and I were escorted into the Unit. 

Savannah and I worried that poor lady who had driven hours and probably spent weeks finding the perfect dress was left standing outside wondering if Lacy would bother to show up? In fact, I told the guard “if her Officiant DOESN’T show up, I will marry her myself.” I meant it. We were scheduled at 1:30PM the other bride was scheduled at 1PM. 

The other brides fiancée watched my marry my clients while his bride waited in the blazing Texas sun on Lacey. 

The guard also used a flash that I wished she hadn’t causing red eyes on all of the photos. The guard also checked her watch mid ceremony. I have 20 minutes for my Ceremonies and don’t like to be rushed. 

My clients have waited months to get married. The guard “looking at her watch” not only bothered me but also my clients so I addressed “the elephant in the room” by advising the guard “I time my Wedding Ceremonies and have specifically  incorporated 8-10 minutes for my clients today in order to read their own vows. I know exactly how much time I have and stay well within the guidelines. I’m not going to rush this ceremony.” I meant it. 

If you are a guard that doesn’t know or care what the person marrying an inmate has gone through to get there, I will enlighten you. They’ve jumped through hoops. They’ve filed paperwork. They’ve patiently waited. A few encountered idiotic county clerks trying to buy their marriage license. The LAST THING I will allow is for my clients to be rushed through their marriage ceremony. I operate on a timeline well within my allotment for a ceremony inside the Unit. 

I am a professional but, if you want to tap your watch or attempt to cue me mid ceremony, I am more than happy to enlighten you on my timeline. My timeline is twenty five minutes not five. 

My client and I have just driven 3 hours to the Unit. My client and I have a 3 hour drive back and we are going to enjoy our 20 minute ceremony and wait 3-5 minutes for our photos to print. Thank you very much for your patience and see you next time. I posed my new couple in various shots to capture a wide variety of photos. Why? Because if I don’t, all of your photos will be the same pose that’s why. In an attempt to fix our eyes, I also edited these Unit photos to black and white. At 1:24PM, Lacy finally showed up just as we were leaving and minutes before the brides wedding was cancelled because Lacy apparently doesn’t care about creating stress on wedding day for a client. 

Good Lord, if you are an Officiant, get your shit together! It’s a LIFE EVENT. If you can’t perform the function you’ve been retained to perform, be honest and let your client know firsthand. Don’t leave them standing around wondering WHERE YOU ARE ON WEDDING DAY. 

A wedding day that someone waited weeks or months to finally have. A day very important to them. A day they drove hours to a Unit for. A day they took off work for. Put yourself in your Clients position. Wake up. This is a very important day to your client. They trusted you to be there and yet again you were late. They carefully dressed and applied their makeup. They excitedly drove to the unit. Then they miserably waited on you with a guard telling them their wedding would be cancelled if you didn’t show up. Good Lord do you have any idea what you are doing to the people who trusted you? Get it together or get out of this business. Lacey, you and your snarl at Units while dragging in late again are as miserable to my clients and I as they are to yours. Get an alarm clock. Buy a watch. Answer your phone. 

By the way, of you are reading this “late again Lacey,” the next time my staff or my clients and I are forced to wait on you in order to enter the Unit for the wedding they’ve waited months to have, I’m going to ask to speak to the Warden and complain about it. Waiting for you to fly your broom into a prison parking lot with your anxious client wondering why you won’t answer their calls or if their wedding will be cancelled along with my clients and my staff or myself being forced to wait on you to bother showing up stomping your way into the Unit while wearing your frown is the LAST THING ANY OF US NEED ON WEDDING DAY. Being forced to wait on you is a miserable experience for everyone concerned including the Unit itself. Quite frankly, why certain Units force everyone to wait on the “other Officiant” to arrive I have no idea but, your tardiness and your attitude are aggravating and intolerable. 

A few months ago, my Allred client had to get back to work that day and sitting in the clearing area watching your frazzled client wonder IF YOU were going to bother showing up was unsettling to a three of us Lacey. 

My client was also late returning to work BECAUSE you were late AS USUAL Lacey. Your consistent tardiness on wedding day is shocking and saddening. If you worked for anyone else, you would have been fired. Your clients have waited weeks and sometimes months to marry. Your Ferguson client yesterday was forced to fan herself with her marriage license in the sun with over a hundred degree temperatures on sweltering pavement in heels. 

What bride looks forward to being forced to wait and wonder if their Officiant will show up standing in the sun wearing a beautiful chiffon dress with her hair and makeup melting? Get it together and take some degree of consideration into your clients journey. Or, better yet, let them hire someone who cares about their journey!

Not only I but also my clients are sick and tired of “waiting on Lacy” to arrive late and unfriendly or unapologetic to her client or anyone else for that matter. At Coffield, she stomped out after the wedding and left her bewildered client waiting on wedding photos after the same client had been detained because she had a ring box that wouldn’t clear the Unit. As usual, I had jumped in to advise her to leave the box at the machine. 

NO ONE should be walking in alone on wedding day. The role of an Officiant is all encompassing. What it ISN’T is “bothering to show up late.” If you are one of those “other Officiants” for God’s sakes buy a watch and make your client and THEIR DAY a PRIORITY!

I’m at several Units over the next 6 months and THRILLED to be seeing my previous clients at their Vow Renewals. I’m scheduled the next five years with amazing clients I’ve married at Units and just as excited as you are that we are planning a celebration of resilience and endurance of love long after lock up…  

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Learning Curves- When Love Isn’t Enough & Other Factors In The Prison Wedding Planning Process…

For several weeks now, I’ve been talking to one of my brides about not only her concerns but my own as well regarding marrying an inmate that she’s only “known since December.” The inmate is somewhat manipulative and controlling which highly concerns me. 

Yesterday’s phone call came while I was going down the list of calls to Chaplains and law libraries for several clients waiting on I60’s to be processed. I took a break to listen to Samantha’s concerns and scheduling at Jordan Unit. The inmate had requested a transfer to another Unit which effectively puts a “hold” on wedding scheduling. This “hold” would help give Samantha time to re evaluate marrying. 

Samantha had called me to advise me that the transfer had been denied. After twenty minutes of discussing whether or not Samantha wanted to move forward, it was decided that we would “stall this wedding” until July or August due to a number of things that the inmate was doing to control her life from behind bars. 

Let’s go over a few of these “issues” to better grasp the red flags flying high in what should be a joyous journey for the bride on the outside but, in Samantha’s situation, isn’t. 

A few weeks ago, on another phone call, Samantha told me that the inmate had her sending $200 a month “for their future.” I found this not only odd but also manipulative and voiced my concerns. I also listened carefully about other problems in the relationship. What were they? First, the inmate didn’t want Samantha to wear makeup or “look too attractive.” Samantha is a waitress and her appearance is important. Also, the inmate didn’t want Samantha to take her children swimming because “you will be wearing a bathing suit and I don’t want other men hitting on you.” The monetary demands along with Samanthas “life on the outside” were greatly being affected by the inmate who was also in a hurry to get married. The “hurry” was for the inmate to have more control. 

Slowing this wedding down was in Samantha’s best interest. In fact, canceling it would be in her best interest but, I can only give my clients advice. It’s not my role to tell them who not to marry. I carefully advise clients without overstepping bounds. I also point out things they may not realize while I’m at it. With Samantha, I’ve been worrying about her future for a month now. 

Meanwhile, my Diboll Unit bride has decided not to marry. She sent me a text last night wanting to gift her new with tags size 12 petite dress to another bride in an effort “to be part of the reason they smile on wedding day.” I found this selfless act while struggling with her own heartbreak just another reason of why my prison clients are such giving and compassionate individuals. 

For those unaware of this, the person “on the outside” is doing time too. They are pulling the wagon alone. They are paying all of the bills, raising children and making every sacrifice to make their relationship work. It’s astounding how determined and resilient they are. For Gabriella, her desire to give a dress she loved and planned to marry in herself is a wholly generous and selfless proposition. 

My clients are both passionate and perseverant. I pray that one day Gabriella finds someone worthy of her. When she does, I will marry her. 

After months of overcoming a CLM issue at TDCJ Telford Unit, I’m really looking forward to finally meeting my bride in August. CLM or CLW issues DRAMATICALLY slow the usual timelines of 4-6 weeks turnaround down. In fact, we can wait months to resolve an unexpected issue. Patience is a virtue in the prison wedding planning process. Knowing how to overcome an unexpected issue is key to moving forward. I find solutions. 

I’m headed back to Torres Unit in Hondo, Texas and looking forward to meeting two special brides who also plan to marry on the same day. My McConnell brides are too. 

Cindy and I are really looking forward to seeing Amanda again at Ellis Unit. We had met her a few months ago for family photos in Eastland, Texas and had a great time on location with my grandnieces and her children playing together. 

Many of my brides are sending me photos of what they plan to wear. This is always a great idea and I’m happy to go over your outfit with you. My Crain and Woodman Grooms don’t need to do this as they will be wearing dress shirts and slacks well within TDCJ guidelines. Please do not bring paper money on wedding day to purchase photos. Bring quarters. Unit photos are $3 each. I will buy three and make copies for you. If you wish to buy more, bring your quarters in a ziplock bag and do not bring more than $21 into the Unit. No cell phones. No paper money. No cameras. You MUST BRING your state issued ID or Passport AND your marriage license. If you have handwritten vows, hand them to me PRIOR to entry.  

I’d like to wish all of my July clients from years gone by a Happy Anniversary. I remember all too well how nervous and excited you were on wedding day. We’ve shared precious moments together on location. Meeting your families and sharing your joy is a gift to not only myself but also my staff. 

I am often asked “what I remember the most on location at events?” I remember my clients smiles, their joy and their immense gratitude at finding the love of their life. Soul mates are difficult to find but, my clients did. I remember being hugged walking up to you and how happy you were that the day had finally come. 

Weddings are and will always be my favorite events. Vow Renewals are equally joyous as are baptisms but seeing our families again for a celebration whether it’s the birth of a child or a Vow Renewal or even a birthday party is a family reunion for my Team and I. Clients are the fabric of our lives. Many people are surprised at how often previous clients rebook but they shouldn’t be. Our clients have established a bond with us. In many cases even a death in their family is a rebooking for a celebrant and planner at their loved ones memorial. 

I will always remember how joyous Burt and Deanna were on their wedding day. It had been raining in the park they chose to marry in. The tulips hadn’t bloomed so Burt planted imitation tulips. Burt paid attention to the details. Burt and his friends from Carswell AFB had also draped fabric from the trees. 

Two years after marrying Burt & Deanna, an email from Deanna trying to locate me through Gig Salad came in. “You married us and you may not remember us. We are a military couple from Carswell AFB. We need your help. We want you to baptize our baby.” Because Gig Salad limits correspondence unless the client books you, I was unable to share my phone number or contact information with Deanna. But, I easily located her phone number after walking into my home office and pulling files for the three years of weddings to locate my client records for Deanna. 

I keep detailed records of client correspondence and bookings. I quickly sent a text to tell her I would call her. She excitedly told me “we are pregnant and I wouldn’t want anyone but you to baptize our baby. Please tell me you will be available to Bless our child. We are overjoyed at this miracle.” 

Thinking to myself ” I WILL MAKE time,” I checked my schedule. Cindy and I were traveling back and forth to California as we were filming This Time Next Year but I went ahead and told Deanna that “if I needed to catch a flight from LAX to DFW on short notice I could fly to DFW and back to LAX in order to accommodate Burt and Deanna’s request.” 

I’m constantly checking distances and scheduling. The flights from DFW to LAX are easy and quick. I always leave a car at DFW and have a rental waiting at LAX. Fluidity and planning ahead are key to addressing our numerous clients. There isn’t a day that goes by I’m not checking distance from one prison unit to the next to see if I can move from Unit A to B and even C on the same day. I map out my timelines over and over again. If a Unit is within 2 hours of a booked Unit, it’s usually doable. But if the secondary Unit is 3 or more hours from the booked Unit, we must look at the next available date instead. 

Booked Prison Unit Dates are non moveable. Once I’ve confirmed a date, it’s literally “set in stone” at a prison. 

A few months later while in my home office preparing a ceremony for a house blessing, Deanna called me again. This phone call was far from the joyous earlier call. This call was drought with sad news. Deanna was crying. Baby Delilah phone had Trisomy and Deanna needed me to be able to get to Harris Hospital on short notice as Delilah was only expected to live a few short hours. I was crushed. 

In fact, I was speechless. I’d never heard of Trisomy. I grabbed a Merck Manual to educate myself. I can’t imagine how Deanna must have felt at her OB/GYN appointment during that check up. I couldn’t imagine how carrying a child with the odds of survival being so slim would affect anyone as joyous at conceiving as Deanna was could accept this devastating blow. I mourned for her. I grieved for the child that had blessed their marriage. I prayed. I also prepared. 

For a number of years, I was a volunteer hospice clergy at area hospitals. Sadly, the stress and reality of many patients facing death was simply too much for me mentally. I stopped volunteering after at Baylor and Harris. How doctors handle death daily it I have no idea.

Deanna had added “we will also need you to perform the memorial. Burt and I wouldn’t want anyone other than the person who married us to handle such an emotional and important role.” My heart sank. I knew how difficult it must have been for Deanna to place that call to me. I also knew that as she carried the baby she so desperately wanted that she was hoping for a miracle. I did too. I prayed Delilah would defy the odds. I would continue to pray for months. 

A few months later, the call came. Cindy and I were scheduled at Iheart radio in Dallas. We went to see Burt and Deanna first to check timelines of Delilahs possible birth. There was time to run to Dallas and return to Fort Worth. Cindy and I dashed through our interviews to run back to Burt and Deanna. Delilah was tiny. The smallest baby I’ve ever seen. Cindy and I were surprised by the number of Carswell military members in the room. 

Beyond Deanna’s bed were at least 15-20 AFB coworkers of Burt and Deanna. They were all crying. A room packed with crying soldiers is something you won’t forget. The sadness in the room literally sucked the air from my lungs. I tried to breathe deeply and focus on staying professional and remembering my role walking into that room and past the mourners. Hats in hand, their silent tears said it all. You could hear a pin drop and sniffles over the machines and medical equipment. 

Holding my composure and emotions inside in order to perform the bedside baptism was incredibly difficult. At that moment, I still harbored hope that Delilah would make it. Cindy looked at me from the back of the room with the military personnel to give me the “don’t cry. Your role is to comfort” pep talk as she too wiped away her tears. Cindy knew I was terrified of losing my composure. We had discussed it over and over again. 

Minutes after the above photo was taken, Burt and Deanna told me “we only have a few hours.” I was again literally crushed. I was also enlightened as to why Delilah wasn’t in an incubator. 

By the time I lifted baby Delilah to perform her baptism, my sorrow was so profound that my tears dropped silently on the child this couple had so desperately wanted. I couldn’t hide my sadness. 

A few days later, I performed baby Delilahs memorial wearing the same vestment that I had married Burt and Deanna in. Deanna had asked that I wear the same thing I had met them wearing two years prior at Sampson Park. Delilah wore a gown handcrafted from Deanna’s wedding dress. 

I remember staying up all night working on my ceremony. The details of how I had met the Villareals. The moment of Burt happily walking up to me. The look on his face as Deanna approached us. The man gently playing guitar behind us. The sun breaking through the grey summer day bringing light and promise. I remember every aspect of any ceremony that I’ve ever performed. 

Life Events are Life Moments. Saying goodbye to Delilah was the hardest ceremony that I’ve ever performed in my life as an Officiant, Planner and Celebrant. 

My role is to comfort families as a celebrant but, it was difficult to mask my own emotions. Loss always is. Death is a dark stranger but the death of a child is and always will be the most difficult role that I have ever played. 

Deanna never recovered from the loss of Delilah. I doubt she ever will. She has lost the ability to try to conceive again. Burt and Deanna are praying that they can adopt. I’m praying for them. They are wonderful people who would joyously love to parent a child together. 

The relationship I share with my clients is remarkably intimate. They trust myself and my Team to understand their journey. For some, the journey is far more difficult. Surprises. Setbacks. No one expects them but, whether you are planning an elaborate event or planning a prison wedding, there can be extraordinary circumstances that you didn’t expect. Rain at an outdoor venue. A transfer of the inmate less than 24 hours before their scheduled wedding. These things are beyond our control but, we will work through them together. 

For others like Samantha or Gabriella, they might need a kind word or even advice. I’m there for them. I listen to their concerns. I guide them. They need someone to listen. For my prison wedding clients, it’s not uncommon for them to tell me “you are the only person I can talk to.” In many cases, I am. 

Making arrangements and smoothing the path is my specialty. It’s very important to me that clients aren’t worried about things I can address on their behalf. Experience matters. I’m in the Life Events business. There are no do overs. My events are as humanly close to perfect as possible. Cindy and I give others the weddings we never had ourselves. We care far more than anyone realizes because we know how important the details are to our clients. 

I cried at Delilahs memorial and I cried at her baptism. I cried for the child my clients so desperately wanted but couldn’t keep. I will never forget the moments I’ve shared with any of my couples. 

Perhaps I’m different because I care so much but my clients are all like my own children. I want what’s best for all of them. I want them happy. I celebrate their successes and I mourn their losses. I pray Burt and Deanna find a baby to adopt and shower with love.

A special anniversary wish for my ladies who shared a friendship ceremony a few years ago goes out to three amazing ladies. 

Two of these ladies I married to each other and one of these three friends is still waiting to find the right partner. They are out there Lorraine and I know that one day you too will find a life partner.Bouncing from exclusive venues to Prisons, backyards, parks and other interesting and varied locations throughout wedding season keeps me from ever being bored. Cindy and I love to load up and hit the road on our way to meet amazing clients. 

Our Huntsville client who contacted us through The Pawning Planners several weeks ago loves her photos and is still trying to find Mr Right. We never did find a way to effectively “flip the two headed fox stole” she had bartered in exchange for her photo shoot. If you are interested in a two headed fox stole missing an eyeball, PLEASE give us a shout. We ship AND deliver. This stole needs a new home. 

If you missed the blog on the Huntsville client and the unique circumstances of her request for services, here’s the link– The Pawning Planners- Turning Trash Into Treasure. More Flips, Flops & Fun Adventures.

We have several Vow Renewals coming up over the next two years from previous prison clients who have contacted us to schedule. A special shout out of congratulations to my Darrington, Estes, Coffield, Michael, Bridgeport, Estelle, Hobby and Stiles Unit clients who have excitedly shared their good news with me. We look forward to seeing ya all again soon. 

One of my clients from Michael Unit wanted to plan her Vow Renewal for ten years away. This IS UNUSUAL. Another client I married a few months ago who asked me to wear camouflage attire to her wedding also has scheduled for ten years away. Good Lord, I hope I’m still alive. 

Ten years out is a lifetime away but, God willing, my Team and I will honored to see you all again.

From prisons to venues and everywhere in between, I’ve decided to cut back from large over the top events. 2019 will be our last year of chaotic and unpredictable events with too many Indians and not enough Chiefs on location. 

My reasons for declining future “large budget events” is based entirely on years of one surprise after another and clients opting not to hire enough security with open bars on site. From arrests to injuries on location, I have far more fun as does my Team with smaller parties of 200 or less guests.I’ve been asked about groom tossing. This tradition is fun but can also be dangerous. How so? The groom in California became entangled in the lights. He could also have fallen. Because of the liability associated with groom tossing, we ask about traditional aspects when planning your wedding or Vow Renewal to ensure that there aren’t accidents or injuries on location. We want your event seamless and worry free. 

I’m going to once again “go over” guests jumping in front of my photographers to get their own photos on location. For years now, my photographers have complained about trying to angle around guests who jump up to take their own photos. PLEASE REFRAIN from doing this. You are killing the shot for a photographer who has been hired to capture the shot. It’s often impossible to crop guests out of photos they’ve literally jumped into. 

A few weeks ago, this “guest with a phone or camera” scenario jumping into the shot ruined several photos. We have one shot at a photo on location. It’s a moment that cannot be duplicated. 

Please do not jump in front of photographers. If you’d like to take your own photo, give our photographers time to get the shot and THEN take your own photo. This isn’t a competition. It’s a Life Event. 

If you are in a photo taking a photo, it’s not only difficult and occasionally impossible to crop you but also time consuming adding more stress to my photographers during the editing process. Give the couple the opportunity to have beautiful photos of THEIR EVENT. The continued issues of people jumping into a shot roll on but, courtesy would mandate that if you see a photographer trying to capture a photo that you step out of the shot or… put your phone down and strike a pose instead. 

I’m at Ferguson, Ellis, Michael, Coffield & Green Bay Units in the coming weeks and as excited as you are that your wedding day has finally come to fruition. Please remember to err on the side of caution regarding your attire at your prison wedding.

For my California prison clients, the dress code is far more stringent. Be aware of this. If you need me to send you the dress code, I’m happy to do so. No one wants to wear a cafeteria smock. 

For my Arkansas prison clients, the wait is nearly over and we look forward to meeting you very soon at your wedding.

The continued questions regarding guests at weddings because you’ve seen guests in Louisiana at Prisons question keeps coming up. Louisiana allows guests. Texas in nearly ALL cases does not. The ONLY Unit in Texas that has allowed guests present is Sanders Estes Venus, Texas. Requests for guests must be submitted to the Warden by the inmate. BUT, I’ve never had ANY Unit other than Estes Approve a guest of guests at a prison wedding. We cannot bring rings to your prison wedding. Section K of the Administrative Directive pertaining to Offender Property in Texas specifically forbids ring exchanges. I’m sorry but, we follow ALL rules at prison weddings. 

If you’d like to bring friends or family with you to your prison wedding, you can but THEY MUST WAIT in the parking lot. They are WELCOME to join you at your photo shoot with us and I encourage you to bring friends or family with you to incorporate your friends and family into your photos. The more the merrier.Cindy and I will pack my SUV with enough bouquets, tiaras, furs, fascinators, signs and props to accommodate up to 6 other people at your photo shoot. 

I created an inventory that “rolls with me” to your prison wedding. From pink multi to teal multi to red multi bouquets and bouteniers or even mink coats and clothing in your size, my inventory is always a hit with our clients. We think of everything so you don’t have to. If you can’t wear your wedding dress to your Unit wedding, bring it with you and change clothes for your bridal photos. 

If you’d like to change clothes a few times to have a wider variety of photo options, bring additional clothing changes with you as well. Your photo location can be at a courthouse, city street, field, farm, abandoned building or anywhere near the Unit. It CANNOT be on Unit property though. We MUST leave the Unit to find a location nearby. Try to wear something without patterns on the fabric to your photo shoot in order for us to capture a “clean shot.” 

Solid colors are perfect for your photo shoot. Large, bold or busy patterns can be distracting. We have a wide array of tiaras and furs as well as scarves and shawls to add to your attire on photo shoot location events. 

It’s not unusual for our clients to bring their mother, grandmother, children and grandchildren to their photo shoot and we encourage making your photo shoot a family affair and opportunity to capture family photos together sharing your wedding day. 

From best friends to grandmothers and even pets, your photo shoot should incorporate what’s important to you. If there is someone special in your life sharing your journey from the outside, invite them along. We won’t be in the Unit for more than an hour in most cases. 

 Jozette brought her amazing grandmother to Torres Unit in Hondo, Texas. I packed an assortment of evening jackets as well as furs, bouquets and tiaras to bring fun. 

These two ladies were amazing good sports at an abandoned hotel near the Unit that I saw driving to Torres. My Coffield Unit bride loved the building near Tennessee Colony I saw driving past on my way to meet her. If you have noticed a unique old building, storefront or interesting building, just let me know. We will follow you there. 

I’ve been asked about our fascinators. Cindy and I stopped selling them a few years ago. Why? Because our clients love them. We incorporated them into our photo booth props instead. Cindy makes the fascinators by hand. I create the floral designs.  

We add to our inventory year round to keep it fresh and fun. From tiaras to furs to even wedding dresses, having everything our clients need is essential to exceeding their expectations. 

Buildings with murals also make great backdrops for location photography. My Bridgeport bride loved the unique wall art I found on my last trip to Bridgeport Unit and we found a wide array of great photo ops using the landscape of Bridgeport. Just keep your eyes open driving to visit and look for “out of the ordinary” locations. 

The best location for photos in Abilene is Jacobs Dream at Abilene Christian University. It’s perfect. If you are marrying at Robertson Unit, be sure to go by the university and check it out. Cindy and I along with the Texas Twins Events Team look forward to meeting you, your friends, your family and your inmate at your prison wedding soon. 

In unique situations, I become the mother I have never had to clients that need a friend. Samantha is reconsidering her decision to marry. It’s an important decision. Choose carefully. Life partners are worth waiting for. You can’t find the right one if you are “saddled up” with the wrong one… 

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TDCJ Weddings & Adventures With Wendy Wortham- Green Bay To Hughes To Hutchins Unit…

I have several clients waiting on I60’s and although the waiting is the hardest part, when the Chaplain calls to schedule your wedding, please answer unknown calls as it may very well be the Unit calling. Last week, I declined an unknown call myself. Thankfully, the Beto Chaplain left a message to return his call. 

Wednesday morning as I loaded up my SUV to meet two clients on my way to Hughes Unit, Cindy and I were still laughing about the two headed fur we took in trade from Huntsville and what we were going to do with it. “Maddy thinks it’s a stuffed animal and the twins are horrified.” 

If you missed our Huntsville adventure, here’s the blog link– The Pawning Planners On Location. More Flips, Swaps & Barters.

I haven’t had time to shock my furniture reupholstering connection yet with this “latest flip.” Terry will either tell me to trash it or tailor it to remove both heads and the legs. It will be a “wait and see” situation.

Occasionally our Flips ARE Flops instead but, since we don’t limit creative requests, we certainly do have a few hilarious adventures on site at Appraisal Appointments. 

Cindy was covering Jack County Jail clients as well as Parker County and my son was at Green Bay Unit with clients while my niece, Leigh Ann was finishing editing on photos from Tarrant County Jail bride, Payton. I would be “flying solo down the back roads” with Skynard, Donna Summers, ELO, Elton John and the Bee Gee’s keeping my company today. 

Checking in with Cheyenne, I let her know that I was taking the back roads in order to meet two clients on my way to Hughes Unit who wanted help buying their marriage licenses. I map out my travels to accommodate such requests on a regular basis. 

Country towns have creative signage. One air conditioning sign had me laughing out loud remembering my twin sisters firm belief that “hillbillies are geniuses.” The sign? “Do you have a HOT WIFE? Service your A/C and cool her off.” I bet that guy was even funnier in person. 

Passing by the Dairy Queen sign, I thought about my brother in law, Steve Daniel who has fond memories of riding his bike to DQ and fishing on the river in San Antonio. I loved the “howdy ya all” sign. Welcome to the friendly and fun back roads of Texas! The courthouse I was meeting my first client at looked like a Gothic mansion with the overcast sky behind it. 

Settled in a small town with many of the stores closed down, sadly the expensive building was surrounded by smaller shops that had most likely (years ago) had been thriving with customers. The irony wasn’t lost on me. This courthouse ruled the center of Meridian, Texas. After helping my client get her license, I jumped back in to my SUV to head to Coryell County Courthouse and sent Cindy a text from my navigation. 

My Crain Unit client has been having difficulty buying his license and after numerous phone calls back and forth, I had scheduled him into my day to address his apprehension by accompanying him to buy the license. I actually do this for clients frequently by “working them into my road trips to prisons.” 

My timeline to meet my Crain Unit client was perfect since the courthouse was fairly close to Hughes Unit and mapping out meetings is essential to accommodating my schedule and my clients. 

Driving down 6, I sent Cindy a pic of a “report poaching sign.” I’d never seen one before. 

Cindy called me and asked “was that a poaching sign posted? I haven’t seen one of those in years.” I send road trip text photos all of the time if Cindy isn’t with me laughing about the things we see rolling down the road. 

My sister can name every type of cow and admire a ranch fence like nobody else I know. Why? Because while I was traveling the world modeling, Cindy was building a dairy brick by brick in Gordon, Texas. 

Cindy is far more “country” than I will ever be. We are Compensating Personality Twins as are Cindy’s twin granddaughters. It’s rare. Cindy loves “educating me” about goats, horses and cattle on our back roads journeys across Texas and Louisiana as well as Oklahoma. I think all cows look alike. But, Cindy loves to tell me what makes them different. 

I always gas up because finding gas stations can be tricky on back roads. 

By the time, I rolled into Coryell County, Christina had sent me a text regarding running a little behind which perfectly fit my schedule to meet my Crain Unit client before heading to Hughes. 

Arriving at Hughes, I let Christina know where I would be in the parking lot while fielding texts and phone calls from other prison wedding clients. My phone never stops ringing. I dabbed on light makeup as the guard tower watched me change shoes, fix my hair and finally leave my SUV to walk to the main entrance. Lipstick and tinted glasses when leaving WorthamWorld early along with a ponytail are my usual attire. Flip flops are changed into dress shoes once I arrive at a Unit. I always wear a suit to Prisons. 

Sadly, the status of the inmate hadn’t been changed from G4 to G2 which meant he would be behind glass. This upset my client but, it’s my job to calm my clients and I did. Had we known ahead of time the status change would be delayed, we could have rescheduled the wedding but, these things can and do happen. 

No one likes marrying with glass separating them. Christina didn’t either but, we overcame the disappointment of having her fiancée behind the glass and enjoyed a wonderful visit prior to the ceremony. Since Christina didn’t want photos posted, I posed with her husband and bought photos of all three of us as well as one of her and her husband before leaving the Unit for her to keep. 

Headed to Huntsville again, I thought of all the times I’ve driven to Gatesville the past two years. A city that two years ago, I had never heard of that literally is compromised of mostly inmates and prisons. 

It’s shocking how frequently I drive to Gatesville. Many of the Units house females although Hughes Unit is a male Unit surrounded by female Units. Other than Hughes Unit, the majority of my Gatesville clients are males marrying females.San Saba Unit is also a female Unit I frequently make trips to as is Hobby. 

The Hobby Unit clients booking with us are predominantly females marrying females. Since I’m always asked about this, yes, it’s legal for a male to marry a male or a female to marry a female. This question continues to confuse me. The Units I marry inmates in are located in the United States. 

I have no idea why this question comes up pertaining to inmate marriage since same sex marriage has been legal for years now in the United States. 

Tennessee Colony is also one of those towns and a regular trip for my niece, Leigh Ann or I to meet a client at their Prison Wedding. 

Beto, Michael, Coffield and Gurney are regular trips month after month. Tennessee Colony like Gatesville and Huntsville is a “city of prisons.”

I had a surprising text out of the blue from one of my former production company friends asking “are you and Cindy under contract?” I advised Kristen “no, we are too busy for film projects and we’ve expanded inmate weddings to cover several states. 

My niece, Leigh Ann and my stepsister, Tammy are going to be taking on California Prison Weddings by August 2019 with my son and his wife focusing on Oklahoma, Louisiana and Arkansas. 

Due to my schedule with traditional as well as prison clients and Pawning Planners Clients, Cindy and I will continue to travel while focusing more on Texas and Louisiana when not traveling for destination bookings through Texas Twins Events.” 

The truth is that although I’m consistently contacted regarding show concepts and inquiries, our clients will always be our priority. Cindy and I put everything we have into taking care of our clients. 

If and when we have the time to take on the task of filming, it won’t be during wedding season. The reason for this is our time. 

Prison weddings and traditional bookings during wedding season leave Cindy and I no time for Skype, voice overs, sizzle reels, conference calls and other time consuming tasks that production companies require. Flying off to pitch meetings in season is out the question for the Texas Twins. 

Arriving back at my home office and preparing my suit for Hutchins Unit, I check in with my niece, Leigh Ann who will be handling photography Thursday for Brandy after her inmate wedding at Hutchins while juggling phone calls, emails and text messages. 

In this type of business, responding quickly and promptly is essential. I respond every 2-3 hours to clients and keep them updated. Clients are anxious. The process to marry an inmate can run from 3-6 weeks or in unusual situations like Torres Unit, over a year. Inmates being moved are generally the reason. 

Bouncing from an appointment with my grandniece, Makenna at Cooks Childrens Hospital for her dermatology appointment and meeting Cindy to take Makenna back to school before parking Leigh Ann’s SUV for her to jump into mine and head to Hutchins Unit. We all have suvs to carry numerous props for photo shoots except my son who drives a 4X4 truck. All of our vehicles are black which makes it easier for clients to find us in jail or prison parking lots. 

My twin grandnieces, Maryssa and Makenna like Cindy and I have completely different health issues. Maryssa unlike Makenna had Precocious Puberty. Makenna unlike Maryssa has eczema and psoriasis. Completely different health issues is unusual for identical twins but, Cindy has had none of my health issues and I’ve had none of hers. 

Makenna is trying a new steroid cream for her outbreaks and we’ve added bleach baths to the mix after her dermatologist suggested it to Cindy and I at her latest appointment.My youngest grandniece, Madyson is a ball of fire and not a twin. Maddy is three and a half but her first two years were spent with hearing issues we were unaware of. 

Maddy has been in speech therapy after ear surgery last year and is now making great strides with verbal communication. Maddy also has wildly curly and unnameable hair. 

My niece, Leigh Ann is the only person in our entire family with curly hair that she regularly flat irons. As a child, Leigh Ann was nicknamed, Shirley Temple due to her reddish curly hair. Maddy looks just like Leigh Ann did years ago. 

Leigh Ann started photography shortly after the birth of Maddy and has worked with me for years. You can trust my niece to make your day as special as you are. 

Like my entire family, Leigh Ann treats each and every client like her only client. From officiating traditional events and ceremonies to inmate weddings and photography, Leigh Ann loves working with our diverse client bases. Maddy also often “jumps in” on photo shoots with clients. 

Did I anticipate our services as inmate wedding Officiants to expand and compromise the largest portion of our bookings? No. Who would? But, this diverse client base has become my favorite type of client. Why? Because unlike our other clients, the clients marrying inmates are far more passionate and thankful for our help making their Dream Event a reality that’s why. 

The interest by media and production companies regarding our prison wedding clients continues to surprise me but, none of my clients are familiar with television and I’m very protective of their journey. 

Standard reality contracts would take advantage of our clients who are often unaware of what the “talent” would actually be giving up if they werent educated by us about reality television and more importantly, standard reality contracts with production companies. 

Thankfully though, Cindy and I are “very familiar with standard reality contracts” and more than happy to educate our clients regarding the pros and cons of reality tv. Our clients are our priority. Thirty percent of them don’t want others to know they are marrying an inmate. In fact, we don’t publish photos in order to protect their privacy as a courtesy.

I’m a multitask expert at all times but taking on filming is simply too much “in season” for me. Cindy and I haven’t had a day off in months. 

Driving in to the guard gate at Hutchins Unit, my Hughes Unit bride called me to check on the status of her marriage license being recorded. I had sent it to San Antonio via 2 day priority mail on my way home from Hughes Unit and quickly tracked the envelope sitting in the parking lot and let her know it would arrive Friday at the clerks office today before 3PM. She was relieved that I sent it with tracking but, I send every marriage license with tracking unless I’m filing it in person. I’m OCD. 

Parking my SUV, I sent a text to Brandy from the Hutchins parking lot to meet me at reception, I left Leigh Ann in my SUV. Brandy looked beautiful. 

Going in to reception, we encountered a secretary who “didn’t know anything about a wedding today. I don’t have an I60.”  Brandy was immediately upset. Who wouldn’t be. We had scheduled this wedding three weeks ago. Once again though, it’s my job to comfort my clients and stay in control. I had Brandy sit down and told the secretary to find the Chaplain. 

Apparently, both Chaplains have retired at Hutchins which was a bit of a problem and thankfully, the volunteer Chaplain, Mike knew what was going on and where the original I60 was. The volunteer, Mike sent a guard to the law library to find a copy of the original I60 to give to the wardens office. This took nearly an hour. 

When waiting on a prison wedding, the wait can be up in the air. From our escorts to locating the inmate to moving to the location, I can be in a Unit 1-2 hours. Rarely though, I’ve waited three hours. It happens. 

When my client and I were finally escorted to the visitation area, my client was thrilled to finally see her fiancée! Although getting to him was exasperating, the wait was worth the joy I witnessed between my couple. 

The stress and setbacks leading up to a prison wedding for clients is the hardest part of the process. Once the wedding is performed though, their relief is evident. Finally, they are married. FINALLY. 

As usual though, the Unit photos were blurry and dissapointing. I had purchased 3. We left one with the Groom and I gave 1 to the bride and kept the photo below. Thanks to Texas humidity, my hair is a hot mess. I had cut my own bangs in my SUV again. Ugh. Wish I had time for a process haircut but it won’t be “in season.” 

Walking out of the Unit, Brandy and I both were surprised at her grainy wedding photos BUT that’s why I pack an entire SUV full of bouquets, tiaras, clothing, furs and more. That’s right. Brandy was going to have a great day with Leigh Ann and I less than 3 miles from Hutchins.

I believe everyone should be able to celebrate their wedding day and my photo shoot and rolling photo booth ensure that they do. Cindy and I had found the blue fur at a junk shopping after leaving San Saba Unit. The fur was a perfect match to Brandy’s outfit. 

We think of everything. Photography by http://www.facebook.com/maddieandmephotography. 

The mahogany fur stole Cindy and I found junk shopping after leaving McConnell Unit a few weeks ago. We are always shopping for client photo shoot ideas, props and fun items. 

Leigh Ann can’t wait to finish editing Brandy’s photos and I can wait to see them. When her husband is released, Brandy is also rebooking us to perform their Vow Renewal. We are looking forward to another celebration of joy and freedom long after Lock Up…. 

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Behind The Glass, Absentee Affidavits, Unsworn Declarations & What To Wear To Your Prison Wedding…

No one is “comfortable about marrying with an inmate behind the glass.” Many of my clients never planned to marry in a Prison and much less to be separated by the glass.

On one rare occasion, I had a client nearly vomit due to her surprise and shock to see her future husband on the other side of the glass smiling at her. Walking into a visitation area at a Prison to marry is dramatically different from walking down an aisle. 

The glass was not only unexpected to my client but also me as she was unaware of his status being “upgraded” due to an infraction. Walking in to find her fiancée behind glass literally took her breath away. Thankfully, I was right beside her to steady her the last few feet leading up to the glass. 

Infractions can and do change an inmates status. At any point during the Prison wedding planning process, a change in the inmates status can prevent the inmate from being “on the other side of the glass” aka standing beside my client and I. 

I spent several minutes trying to calm my client who had driven from Houston to Tennessee Colony before proceeding with her wedding ceremony. She was facing a long and lonely drive home and I wanted to comfort her as much as possible. Frankly, I wished she had brought someone with her to have a ride a long. Many of my client choose to bring friends or family with them and although no visitors are allowed inside the Unit, these guests are happy to wait on my client and I. 

During the Prison wedding planning process, I become every Clients mother guiding them and directing them through the process whether they are male or female. 

One of my Gatesville clients still calls me “Mama Wendy” and is planning his vow revewal with my team next year. 

The intimacy of my Prison clients by far exceeds any amount of time spent with traditional clients. Why? Because from what to wear to what they can say or do, these unique clients rely heavily on me to get them through a confusing and time consuming process. 

I would never ask a traditional client to send me a photo of what they plan to wear. For a Prison wedding though, this is a standard question. 

Glass can be upsetting at a ceremony when it isn’t expected. The majority of my clients wait months for their wedding to be scheduled. 

Posing for a photo with glass separating my client and I from the inmate at the Unit, finding creative ways to pose was a bit of a hurdle.

At TDCJ Ferguson Unit, Nikia wasn’t at all uncomfortable with the glass. Instead, I was. Why? It was my very first time to encounter glass separating my client from the inmate. 

The photo below was taken by a guard and Nikia loved the way the glass “merged” their faces. It would be my first encounter with the glass but, it wouldn’t be my last as a Prison Wedding Officiant. 

The status of an inmate cannot be changed. If the inmate is a G4 or G5, a lifer or on death row, he or she will be behind the glass. Neither you or I can change that. We must accept that there will be glass separating you and I from the inmate and effectively move on. 

There are a number of creative ways to address your Unit photos with the inmate behind the glass and I encourage you to do whatever will make you more comfortable when posing for your Unit wedding photo if  (of course) photos of your wedding ceremony are offered at the Unit. 

Some of the most memorable prison photos were taken by Andrew Lichtenstein. These photos show families visiting inmates and give a “different glimpse” of the domestic aspects of Prisons. How so? By giving a glimpse of the children, spouses, grandparents and parents of inmates visiting them. 

Photos taken by Mr. Lichtenstein “on the other side of the glass” also feature children who may or may not understand why their parent is in prison. 

To view the gallery of “life in prison” by Mr. Lichtenstein, click this link– Andrew Lichtenstein Life In Prison.

Before my readers “zip off an email” regarding Danny Lyon’s photos taken in Texas Prisons during the 60’s and featured in Conversations With The Dead, I’m well aware of the book and in fact, I’ve read the book, Conversations With The Dead  published in 1971. It is a very emotional and heartbreaking read for anyone unfamiliar with the life of an inmate. 

Danny Lyon has long been considered one of the most original and influential documentary photographers and has produced numerous highly collectible photobooks, mounted solo exhibitions at the Whitney Museum of American Art, The Art Institute of Chicago, The Corcoran Gallery in Washington DC, and won two Guggenheim Fellowships, a Rockefeller Fellowship, and ten National Endowment for the Arts awards. Lyon divides his time between New York State and New Mexico. 

Other Danny Lyon photography books published by Phaidon include Danny Lyon: Memories of Myself (2009), Deep Sea Diver: An American Photographer’s Journey in Shanxi, China (2011), and The Seventh Dog (2014).

In an effort to educate those who may be unaware of Danny Lyon or the access that he was given by Dr George Beto to photograph Texas inmates, I will add include the link to Magnum Photography featuring photos from Conversations With The Dead and a warning that a few of Danny’s Prison photos are graphic and might be disturbing– Conversations With The Dead. Photography By Danny Lyon 1967-1968. 

Between 1967 and 1968, Danny Lyon spent 14 months photographing inside six Texas prisons. He had already made his name with his sustained reportage from the frontline of the black civil rights struggle in the southern US states, but shooting inside high-security penitentiaries in Texas, where some of the inmates were facing the death sentence, was an altogether more soul-sapping experience. He would later describe it as heartbreaking.

The resulting book, Conversations With the Dead, was published in 1971 and immediately hailed as a classic of insider reportage. 

Times have changed since the 60’s and 70’s as photographers and/or reporters are no longer given the access that Danny was. 

Today, Unit photos are offered for sale at $3 each in quarters and occasionally given to visitors. Wedding photos at Sanders Estes Unit are emailed to myself and my client at no cost. Private Units do not offer photos at all and often Unit photos are grainy and out of focus. Guards are not professional photographers. 

Prison Unit photos are often sent to inmates from loved ones who purchased them during their visit. Other Unit photos are often framed and kept in the homes of loved ones to remember their visit to a Unit while still others are put on refrigerator doors as a constant reminder of someone who may or may not ever be coming home. 
Being married to an inmate who will never be granted parole is a difficult and serious decision. You will always be pulling the wagon alone. I discuss the aspects of marrying a “lifer” on a regular basis with clients. 

How successful are my discussions? Hit and miss. Very few clients have changed their mind about marrying someone serving a life sentence. Why? Because they had given their choice to marry months and occasionally years of thought. Their commitment and sacrifice astounds me. It also astounds most other people. 

Being a Prison Wife or Husband can be a lonely and expensive lifestyle. Your weekends are spent driving to a Unit and going through a search while waiting to see your loved one. Your holidays are spent alone. You jump to answer the next expensive phone call and you dedicate your life to the inmate. My clients give up far more than the inmate. They sacrifice on a regular basis to make their relationship work. 

My clients are usually standing beside me at a Prison wedding unless the inmate is classified at a rank that prevents contact. The client and inmate are allowed to hold hands, hug (no inappropriate contact), and seal their marriage with a kiss (no open mouths). 

My clients are advised to “keep it classy” by me long before their wedding ceremony. After all, we are in a prison and as such, I expect my clients to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner pertaining to the visitation code as well as the Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate wedding ceremonies. I.E. We follow the rules. 

I completed a follow up interview with Kate, a journalist following the story of Luther and Mary a few days ago. If you missed my interview with Mary before her wedding to Luther, here’s the link– Wendy Wortham Interview With Mary Martin Wichita Falls, Texas.

Luther and Mary will never hold hands at a visit, hug or even a few months ago, seal their marriage with a kiss. I admitted that this struck me as somewhat sad to Kate because it did. 

Mary’s photos and interview with me feature a woman thrilled to be marrying an inmate serving a life sentence. Anyone looking at my joyous bride would have no idea that her life would always be spent visiting Luther “on the other side of the glass.” Mary wearing my clothing or tiaras and holding one of my bouquets in photos taken by my niece, Leigh Ann “looks like any other happy bride.” The difference in Mary’s marriage versus my traditional clients isn’t lost on me. There won’t be a honeymoon. There won’t be dinners together at home discussing the workday. Their won’t be the normality or predictability that most married couples share. My clients accept the lopsided aspects of being married to an inmate. 

The glass is heavy and often dirty. Occasionally, there are also cracks where an inmate struck the glass. The cracks bother me. Why? Because someone drove hours to visit the inmate. Because someone went through the screening process and because someone who cared enough to come visit the inmate was on the other side of the glass when the inmate effectively punched it. 

Acting as if the glass doesn’t make me uncomfortable in front of my clients is essential to performing my job functions. I put my anxiety in “the corner pocket.” 

Marrying a couple when one of them is behind the glass will always be more emotionally challenging for me solely because the couple cannot touch one another. The glass will always be between my clients and their spouse and although many of them accept this without mourning the fact, I mourn for their loss of ever touching their spouse. 

I am a seasoned wedding Officiant and planner. I’m also well educated regarding the limitations of legal remedies for couples who aren’t married. 

I’ve seen far too many tragedies in my lifetime with couples who were not allowed to marry prior to the Supreme Court ruling legalizing same sex marriage. 

Whether my clients are “inside a prison or outside of a prison,” the differences between both sets of clients are often staggering to the “outside world.” 

There are many options “in the free world” that will never be offered in a Prison for a wedding ceremony. As a Prison bride or husband, it’s essential to accept the rules pertaining to your upcoming marriage and more importantly, to abide by said rules and regulations regarding inmate marriage ceremonies. 

Accepting that my Prison Couples may never touch is just as sad for me as it is for them. Silently, I grieve their inability to have contact during the wedding ceremony. 

I have also (for many years) Officiated deathbed wedding ceremonies for certain individuals that never expected to die who (upon their deathbed) want to protect their loved ones by ensuring their material possessions go to them rather than the state upon their death. 

These incredible and extraordinary “situations” are equally sad for me but, I am well aware that many LBGT Couples have lost everything to their partners family after death because they had no legal recourse as a spouse. 

Times have changed and Marriage now protects the surviving partner and more importantly, the assets the deceased wished to leave to them. Thank goodness that LBGT couples can now have insurance and the rights so many of my friends have lived a lifetime without. 

I have thousands of friends in the LBGT community and for a number of years, officiated Unification Ceremonies for those who couldn’t legally marry in Texas as well as driving to Oklahoma to marry them in a state where marriage was legal long before Texas and many other states legalized same sex marriage. 

Jeff Mosier of the Dallas Morning News interviewed me upon the ruling regarding same sex marriage.

Previous to same sex marriage becoming legal, I also strongly suggested to my non married couples to obtain 5 legal documents that would protect their rights should one of them become ill or die. 

The reason I continued to advise my LBGT connections to obtain documents was to protect them.  I had written the blog titled “Five Legal Documents Every LBGT Couple Need” prior to Texas recognizing same sex unions because I had witnessed the fleecing of survivors in courthouses who effectively had No Legal Rights pertaining to burial or the assets of the Union. 

I’m often amazed at the failure of non married couples who don’t take the time to sign a Living Will or to get a Body Disposition Affidavit in order or at the very least, to have a Power of Attorney document in place should an accident render your partner incapable of making decisions on their own. 

But, not having any say regarding burial of your loved one can be a shocking surprise. It surprised my father. It also saddened me while we were forced to wait 30 days with Gretta “on ice” at the funeral home solely because her sister “claimed” she planned to make burial arrangements. As the next of kin, without any documentation giving my father the right to supersede Gretta’s sister, my father was forced to wait while Gretta decomposed. A month after her death, I went to the funeral home and chose clothing while carefully applying make up and jewelry to Gretta the day before officiating her funeral. Even the frigid temperatures couldn’t prevent the decomposition. It wasn’t what anyone who cared about her would have wanted. But, her sister only cared about control. Kathy never planned to make burial arrangements and sadly, my father and Gretta had failed to file for an Informal Marriage or have me Officiate a Formal Marriage due to Gretta’s sudden and unexpected death. 

No one is prepared for death. It’s often a dark stranger that sweeps those you love away before you realize how fragile life actually is.  

I’m well aware of laws pertaining to death and the loss of rights to survivors because I’ve seen the greed of the surviving family members personally. Fighting over money and assets without any degree of care regarding the impact to a survivor when  “holding up a burial” is a purely selfish act. 

If I’m advising you to protect yourself legally, I’m doing so only for your benefit because I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what my father did. What you don’t KNOW will hurt you. 

When one of my best friends, Charles, lost his thirty plus year partner, Dewitt, Charles also lost all of Dewitt’s material possessions to Dewitt’s family as well as the right to make burial decisions. Why? Because LBGT marriage wasn’t legal at the time AND because Charles and Dewitt had failed to take legal measures that would have given Charles far more legal remedies. 

Charles died shortly after Dewitt and I am guessing that his death was due in part to his broken heart. 

I was the last person to see Charles prior to his death and knew his will to live had been lost. Less than twenty four hours after my visit at Harris Hospital, Charles died in his sleep. Charles and Dewitt had shared a lifetime together but, Dewitt “came from money” and Dewitt’s family fought Charles to get the money back and won. 

At the end of Charles and Dewitt’s long life together, I couldn’t believe the ending would be as tragic as it was. Both surviving families continued to fight over the assets. Neither family wanted the treasured pets left behind though. I helped find foster homes for the cats Charles and Dewitt had loved so much. 

What is a Body Disposition Affidavit? The right to consumers in Texas to use a Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit or similar written instrument was created by the Texas Legislature several years ago and codified in section 711.002(g) of the Health and Safety Code. The provision was embedded in the law dealing with cemeteries and was overlooked by many.

This authorization form helps consumers secure the right to specify ones body disposition. This law provides that consumers wishes as expressed in such an instrument must be “faithfully” carried out by whoever has the legal authority to control the disposition.

The other primary advantage of the Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit is it’s use by people who want to be cremated. In the absence of a properly executed Affidavit, the funeral director must secure permission of ALL IMMEDIATE family members who have the authority to control disposition. 

For instance, in the case of several adult children scattered across the country, this often time consuming task can delay disposition and drive up the costs of funeral arrangements due to storing of the body until all interested parties can be located.

Using a Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit eliminates confusion and allows the cremation to proceed without unwanted delay. For those interested in body donation for medical research and teaching, the form provides for an alternative in the event the body is not accepted by the medical school because of it’s condition at the time of death.

A separate provision found in Section 711.002(b) allows consumers to designate the person or persons they want to control the disposition. The form Appointment of Agent to Control Disposition of Remains accomplishes this. If no one is appointed to control the disposition, the following persons, in the order listed, have the right to control the disposition:
1. The descendants surviving spouse

2. Any of the descendants surviving children 

3. Either of the descendants surviving parents

4. Any of the descendants surviving adult siblings, or

5. Any adult in the next degree of kinship in the order named by law to inherit the estate of the descendant.

The Appointment of Agent Form is useful in order for a persons wishes to be carried out after death. The Appointment of Agent Form avoids conflict among survivors and the Body Disposition Affidavit assures that the descendants wishes for body disposal will be carried out.

Section 711.002(g) also provides that consumers may make their disposition decision in a will or in a prepaid funeral contract.

A Living Will and subsequently the “ability to make medical decisions on your behalf” is also something I encourage my clients to consider. Whether it’s a Power Of Attorney or not, a Living Will is also essential to protecting your loved one from suffering for months in a medical setting. 

A Power Of Attorney is nice to have on hand but, it won’t give you the same amount of decision making when your loved one is facing death. A Do Not Resuscitate Order will. 

A (DNR) Order Do Not Resuscitate (DNR), also known as no code or allow natural death, is a legal order, written or oral depending on country, indicating that a person does not want to receive cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), advanced cardiac life support (ACLS), or other aggressive interventions if that person’s heart stops. 

An advance directive is a broad category of legal instructions you may set up for your healthcare. A living will is a document that falls into the category of advance directives. 

Therefore, a living will is a type of advance directive. Other types of advance directives include: durable power of attorney (aka health care proxy), do not resuscitate order, and organ donation form.

Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. A durable power of attorney for health care, which is also known as a health-care proxy in some states, allows you to appoint a representative to make medical decisions for you. You decide how much power your representative will or won’t have.

What is an Unsworn Declaration? To better understand, click on this link– Unsworn Declaration VS Absentee Affidavit.

Traditionally, Absentee Affidavits were used solely for military members. The Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate marriage changed this. 

Absentee Affidavits are required to be sent to the inmate who will then visit the law library to notarize the document and mail it back to their loved one. The Absentee Affidavit in combination with a Notarized ID is necessary to purchase the marriage license without the other party present. 

“Why do I need an Absentee Affidavit?” Because the state requires this document. 

“Why do I need a notarized ID?” To purchase the marriage license without the other party present, you will need to legally explain why the other party is absent with an Absentee Affidavit in order to purchase your marriage license. 

BOTH the ID and Absentee Affidavit must be notarized. The person appearing at the clerks office must also have a valid ID and the fee for the marriage license. 

The Unsworn Declaration WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED at the clerks office. You MUST HAVE a notarized Absentee Affidavit. 

If you are a client and encountering this issue at your fiancées Unit, contact me. I will help you obtain a notarized Absentee Affidavit from the Unit. 

There are two types of marriage licenses–Formal marriage license and Declaration and Registration of an Informal Marriage (Common law). The basic requirements are the same for both types of marriage.

Both parties must appear in person.
Both parties must be at least 18 years of age.

Must have a valid, government-issued picture identification. Names will be reflected on the marriage license exactly as they appear on the IDs. 

The County Clerk’s office cannot change the name or spelling of name on ID. Forms of acceptable, valid identification include:

Driver’s license

State ID

Passport

Military ID

Visa

Must know Social Security number.

A blood test is NOT required.

Consistently, I’ve advised my clients of protecting themselves and their assets by marriage. In certain cases, I’ve also suggested Prenuptial Agreements. The “client” is the person who hired me and NOT the inmate. Often, the person who hired either myself or my staff has significantly more assets than an inmate does. If I’m giving you sage advice that on occasion may include advising you not to marry your fiancée, my advice is based solely on my observations and conversations with you. 

Please remember that your needs and best interests are my priority. I’m “everyone’s mother” when planning a wedding whether the wedding will take place inside a Prison or on the outside. I’m honest, wise and well aware of the repercussions of trusting someone you don’t know well enough to dedicate your life and quite possibly your livelihood to. 

If you and your fiancée cannot appear together to purchase your marriage license, the use of an Absentee Affidavit “substitutes” for the person not present. 

The Absentee Affidavit is to be completed if an applicant is unable to appear personally before the County Clerk to apply for a marriage license. The other applicant may apply for a marriage license on behalf of the absent applicant.

“Why can’t I fill out and notarize the Absentee Affidavit for the inmate?” Because YOU ARE NOT ABSENT the inmate is. 

There cannot be any corrections to an Absentee Affidavit. Why? Because a Notary seal make it a legal document and corrections void the legality of the document. 

Marrying an inmate is a confusing and lengthy process. Neither you or I can control the timelines involved. We wait on the ID. We wait on the I60 and we wait for a date.

“Why can’t I wear what I want to my wedding?” Because inmate weddings follow dress code guidelines. “What WILL HAPPEN IF I WEAR SOMETHING OUTSIDE THE VISITATION DRESS CODE? After all, I don’t want to look like a nun.” 

Okay, there are two options to “wearing what you want” neither are going to have the outcome you desire. First- you can be required to wear a cafeteria smock. 

Secondly- if you refuse to wear the cafeteria smock, your wedding will be cancelled due to non compliance. 

Thirdly, your payment will not be refunded because I have done my part by driving to your Prison wedding. 

I strongly discourage all of my clients about “winging it with their clothing.” I have solid reasons for asking you to send me photos and those reasons are to protect you from a “walk of shame in a cafeteria smock” or having your wedding cancelled because you refused to wear the smock. Please be aware of visitation dress code guidelines. 

“Why can’t I bring a guest?” Because rarely and I mean rarely have guests or witnesses ever been allowed inside a prison for a wedding ceremony.

In years of officiating inmate weddings, only three times have guests been authorized to attend a wedding ceremony at a Unit. 

The THREE weddings with guests allowed have all been at Sanders Estes Unit. No other Unit has offered to allow a guest to attend an inmate wedding.I’m well aware of any and all rules pertaining to inmate marriage within any state either I or my staff conduct ceremonies within at Prison Units. There are strict limitations pertaining to what you CAN and CANNOT do at a Prison. 

Although a few of my clients may wish to argue these points on occasion, please remember that my staff or myself are acting in your best interest by telling you what you can do and advising against what you cannot do. 

“Why can’t I bring a ring?” Because Section K of the Administrative Directive specifically prohibits ring exchanges. There is no “rule bending” regarding Offender Property.

“Why can’t I bring a change of clothes for the inmate? I don’t want our wedding photos with him wearing Prison issued clothing.” Because once again, Offender Property guidelines strictly prohibit bringing anything in to give to the inmate.

“What can I bring?” You are REQUIRED to bring the marriage license, your current and valid state issued ID or passport, your car keys and quarters in a clear plastic bag to purchase Unit photos if they are offered.

“What can you bring?” My ID, my car keys and my Bible as well as notes inside my Bible. If you have handwritten vows or anything else written on paper, you MUST give these to me prior to entry. I will put your notes in my Bible and give them to you at the commencement of the ceremony.

Weddings “on the outside” include guests, bouquets, vendors, cake, and all of the other elements that “weddings on the inside don’t.” 

The majority of my Prison wedding clients re book upon release of their loved one for Vow Renewals. 

Everything you couldn’t do “on the inside” including your choice of clothing, a wedding ring, guests and the like are included at your Vow Renewal. Fees are based on distance from Fort Worth, Texas.

I hope this explains and subsequently, answers your questions and I look forward to meeting you at your Prison Wedding soon… 

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If You DON’T Focus On YOUR Journey To SUCCESS You Will End Up WORKING For The Person Who Did…

For a few months now I’ve been pushing off a press release for an award I was presented. Why? I don’t have time to sit down for a one to two hour interview. My work takes precedence over anything else in my life with family running a close second. 

I’m frequently asked how I became so successful by others who readily realize that I have never advertised or needed to. The answer is by exceeding my clients expectations. If everyone else in the sales industry would put forth the effort with each and every client they too would see amazing results but, sadly we live in a world where sales are similar to taking a number. Once the number is taken, it’s thrown in the trash. 

Relationships outlast the initial sale. I don’t treat clients like sales. I treat them as individuals and make their needs my priority. I’m different because I actually care about my clients. 

My Beto client last week touched my heart. Her journey hasn’t been easy. Both of her parents were sentenced to prison when she was only one year old. She had also just given up her apartment and had her car towed a week prior to her scheduled wedding at Beto. Hearing this news days before the wedding and knowing she had a two year old son touched my heart. How could I find her help for a very stressful situation? I quickly went to my contacts at Womens Haven and Union Gospel Mission as well as deeply discounting my fee and even offering to drive her to Beto myself. 

At her photo shoot, I asked her “what her plans were for her and her son?” My bride had family in East Texas but, her son attended school in Forest Hill and my client didn’t want to pull him out of the school she had fought to get him into. Her son’s school took precedence over any decision she would make to find a new home and job to support herself and her young son. 

It’s not well known but, my twin sister and I were residents at Women’s Haven ourselves at fifteen years old. Homeless and alone, Cindy and I both lived at the center until we could get on our feet again. During my divorce, I worked 2-3 jobs to support myself and my son while paying his Ad Lidem attorney and my own attorney. Without my twin sister helping me by taking care of my son, I have no idea how I would’ve afforded childcare back then. 

I’m driven and determined because I’ve always had to be. I’m compassionate because I’ve learned that caring about others journey is rare but, I care far more than anyone realizes. 

Yesterday as I was driving back from Dallas North Tower and the county clerk, my Beto bride called me regarding filing the license. An issue she faced was that she no longer lived at the address she had given when purchasing her marriage license. If I filed the license for her, it would be mailed to the old address. I spent some time going over a few alternatives with my client that included going to the post office to put a hold on her mail at her old address as well as getting a P.O. Box or filing the license in person. 

If I file a wedding license, it’s mailed directly to the address given by the couple. If a client files the license in person, the license is recorded and handed back. I suggested this option to ensure the license wasn’t lost in the mail and put gas money in the envelope containing her wedding photos to be sure she wouldn’t run out of gas getting to Dallas. I hadn’t heard from her prior to running to Dallas myself yesterday morning and assumed she had filed the license herself last Friday. Otherwise, I would have driven her to Dallas myself to spare her the trip and the expense of gasoline. 

This morning as I prepare for a call from Kate, a journalist on my way to Tarrant County Detention Center, I wonder if my bride has been by my office to pick up her wedding photos and gas money? I wonder if she has found a place to stay or a job and I wonder how the burden of expenses involved to be a Prison wife will affect her life? I worry constantly about my clients. I can’t help myself.

There’s a stack of mail in my office awaiting my attention. There’s also a five page questionnaire for Power Woman Of 2019 awaiting my attention. I have 172 emails to answer and I have a text from Cindy. My day is off to a “roaring start.”

Cindy now has both of her adult daughters and all three of her grandchildren living with her. I’ve talked to Adult Protection Services in Valdosta and Texas. The “Stephaney Situation” is finally blowing over although I may need to testify in Valdosta, Georgia regarding how my niece wound up there and how I realized that there was a problem while at Wynn Unit with my client in Huntsville, Texas. It’s a long story.

Cindy is overwhelmed at “trying to make everyone else happy in my home other than myself.” Cindy does it all and without my help, Cindy would be doing it alone. Maryssa and Makenna argue incessantly and Leigh Ann has a chip on her shoulder regarding her sister, Stephaney moving back home. “Five females fighting” is an ongoing rerun at Cindy’s house. Arguing over the bathrooms, arguing over the chores, arguing about each other. I could go on and on here. Cindy lives at Camp Chaos. Don’t let the happy smile you see Cindy wearing fool you. Cindy spent seventeen years caring for our selfish grandmother. My sister finally snapped over our grandmother and kicked her out after nearly eighteen years. I would have never moved her in. I’m far less tolerant of moochers and morons than Cindy. My twin has the soft heart regarding our family that I possess regarding our clients. It’s a fact. 

Cindy has spent her entire adult life caring for her children and grandchildren and Cindy needs a vacation. Cindy loves leaving her fighting family behind to jump in my SUV and head off to meet clients. Who could blame her? At home, chaos and more chores await my overworked twin sister. 

After listening to Cindy nearly crying while I sat in my SUV at the Tarrant County Clerks Office preparing to file licenses before walking across the street to the county jail, I butt in and suggested “laying down the law. It’s your house. Your adult children are guests. I’m highly concerned about Leigh Ann’s husband, Alex coming to stay from July to August and bringing more chaos. You need to establish rules and guidelines. If you don’t, I will.” Cindy knows I will and it will be far less confrontational if she would snap and start putting her own needs first. If she can’t though, I certainly can.  

My Beto bride sends a text asking “are you home?” I’m twenty minutes from home but at least an hour from attending to filing licenses and meeting my Tarrant County client. I suggest meeting me for lunch at the 7th street Starbucks in an hour after she picks up her wedding photos and gas money. I’m highly concerned about her and her child and have a list of suggestions for her to get back on her feet. I have plenty of time to get to Jack County Jail and Parker County Jail to meet my afternon clients before heading to Willow Lake Event Center with Cindy at 4PM. Leigh Ann will pick up Maryssa and Makenna at 3:30PM and after their incessant arguing this morning on the way to school, Cindy could use a break from the twins and Leigh Ann quite frankly. 

Yesterday, Cindy and I were with our clients at Taylor’s rental looking at bar height tables and chairs for a June graduation party when Leigh Ann sent a group text to Cindy and I regarding Stephaney. I was instantly lit because when my family know we are with clients, the last thing I need are to be blasted with family bickering but, Leigh Ann consistently and repeatedly makes her problems a priority to her mother and I. “Maddy had milk on her mouth and I asked where that milk came from? I went into the living room and Stephaney was eating cereal and had been sharing it with Maddy. I’m so furious about this that my hands are shaking!” 

I walked out of Taylor’s to call Leigh Ann. While she attempted to interrupt me, I interrupted her. “Listen, we are on location with clients. We don’t care about your problems and if Maddy wasn’t hungry she wouldn’t be asking Stephaney to feed her. You need to go feed your daughter and stop disrupting us with stupidity while we are working. We don’t care how mad you are. Now we are mad you bothered to dump your problem on us. Grow up.” I then hung up and practiced smiling in the parking lot before walking back to my clients and sister. 

I abhor disruptions to my carefully orchestrated agenda from family members and everyone realizes it. And yet, the consistent disruptions from my family are a regular and consistent occurrence in not only my life but my twin sisters too. Dash it all. 

What Leigh Ann should have been doing was feeding Maddy first and finishing the Sunday rehearsal photos second. But, explaining prioritizing to my niece is an escapade in futility. 

Meanwhile, my Bridgeport bride had sent me a message on FB that would have to wait until choosing tables and linens and my Allred client wanted to know about the Absentee Affidavit while my Torres client was concerned “about the glass” and my Eastham client wanted to know “how much longer the I60 would take?” My phone never stops ringing and bleeping alerts. 

Preparing myself to text back and answer emails from the Taylors parking lot after happily waving goodbye to my June clients, I turn to Cindy and say “about the California back and forth situation, I’ve come to a decision. We aren’t telling any of our adult children when we are leaving or arriving in California. We need a few days of fun without being drug into drama in San Diego with Leigh Ann, the twins and Alex. We won’t check in on FB. We will pretend we are still in Texas. Wink. Wink.” 

Cindy is shocked by my “plan.” I’m not. I need a break from my family and whether Cindy knows it or not, she does too. My sister is thinking. I jump in before she can respond (as usual) “listen, we are exhausted and overwhelmed. We have a podcast with Karen and then the Twyce Twins, a press release for Power Woman Of The Year, a follow up interview with Kate, and we are juggling 29 clients with new clients each and everyday. We need a vacation and I’m booking us into The Beverly Hills Bungalow for three days of spa, shopping and fun before we hit the bricks on that August wedding in two cities. It’s going to be an ass whipping and if we don’t catch our breath, I’m afraid we will be in the hospital from pure exhaustion. We are bouncing from Louisiana to Arkansas to Oklahoma to California seven times between August and October. It’s time to put our needs in the “front pocket” in order to be camera ready and refreshed for our clients. Our families and their chaos are killing us with stress Pal. Unlike our clients, they dont appreciate our sacrifice today, tomorrow or ever. With them it’s me, me, me, I, I, I. We must hopefully before our 55th birthday in November, learn to put our demanding kids and chaos on the back burner.” 

Warily, and probably feeling guilty (as usual) my twin sister agreed. Traveling gives us the opportunity to enjoy each other’s company but, thanks to cell phones, our family is always a text or phone call away from screwing up the day. It’s a fact.

My son and his wife have been traveling together as an Officiant and photography team the past 4 years. When my son and his wife get into an argument, everyone in my family hears about it. My daughter in law “I can’t drive with him in the car. Nothing I do is right and he makes me nervous.” My son “Stephanie doesn’t pay attention. She’s either driving too slow or driving too fast.” Me “you two are married and work together. Try to stop bickering and work together on learning patience.” Cindy “Robert and Stephanie Hafele are arguing again.” Me “I cannot stop what’s coming. Those two think they are communicating when in fact they are arguing.”

When I’m on location with Leigh Ann as I was last weekend at one of my rehearsals, I’m called “The Boss.” I instruct Leigh Ann on locations for photos and how to pose the wedding party. I wonder how Leigh Ann will handle addressing clients in California when I’m not there telling her what to do? It’s a valid point. I recognize that more flights to California to “save the day” await the Texas Twins. Our adult children are needy and often demanding. Heavy sigh. 

For two years now, I’ve been bouncing between states for inmate weddings. It was essential due to my burgeoning client base to add Leigh Ann as a TDCJ Officiant and to bump county Jail Weddings as well as traditional requests for an Officiant/photographer to Robert and Stephanie. 

Cindy and I are both stretched to the limits. My traditional bookings are now three years out. Weekends and evenings that include holidays are taken up by traditional clients. 

Trying to find a day off is impossible during wedding season. As usual, my anniversary will be bumped into my birthday this year when things slow down. My husband accepts my overwhelming schedule. He knew when he married me that I was an overachiever and accepts it. He’s also fifteen years older than me and turns off his phone from 6PM to 8AM Monday through Friday and altogether on weekends. 

Matthew is “off work when he is off the clock.” We have very different views regarding client needs. I never turn my phone off which may be why my husband is “tuned in” on client needs and family chaos. He hears it all. 

My husband doesn’t have any family to burden him with their problems. I cannot imagine what a worry free blessing that would be to not have adult children or grandchildren and their problems dumped in your lap like my husband doesn’t. Seriously. My husband as well as Cindy’s husband don’t have children which is a remarkable comparison to Cindy and I with our “carnival of chaos kids and grandchildren.” Opposites do attract. Our marriages are proof of that.

I’m going to go over the certified marriage license to address questions about the process of changing an inmate status from single to married. While we are inside a unit, often there will be a copy of the marriage license filed with inmate records. This is not a certified copy. 

What constitutes a certified copy being available has a few caviats. First, the license must be signed by the Officiant AND then filed at the clerks office either in person by the client or via certified mail from me to the clerks office BEFORE a certified copy of the license is available for purchase. 

The certified copy bears a seal deeming it as certified to be true and correct. While the original marriage license (after being signed and filed) can be used for the DMV and SS Office, it CANNOT be used for a change of status to inmate records. 

Only a certified copy of the marriage license can accomplish this task. You will purchase and then mail the certified copy to inmate records at the Unit your spouse is incarcerated at. 

You have 30 days from the date I married you at the Unit to provide a certified copy. You will then need to change your name (if you intend to do so) on your state issued ID for visits to the Unit.

The reason that Units NOW REQUIRE a certified license is to prove the marriage license was filed and is legally binding. 

Apparently, several people were “going through the motions to get married” but, by not filing the license, were effectively not legally married. Due to this issue, certified marriage licenses are now a requirement at many if not all Units.

Reading a text from one of my Coffield Unit brides was truly good news today. The inmate has made parole and will finally be coming home. I cannot wait to Officiate their Vow Renewal with family and friends present to celebrate their new journey of freedom and promise together. God Bless my amazing couple and their resilience. What a blessing.

My Beto bride and sit down together to “go over her plans for her son and their new direction to move to East Texas.” Visiting for a little over an hour before running off to Jack County, I also prayed that this trip would bring my client a new job and positive direction although removing her son from school was somewhat troubling to her. At two years old, her son is resilient enough to change schools now as opposed to being older. I will order her certified license as the Officiant and forward it to her to send to the Unit. 

Since there are many questions about certified marriage licenses, I’m adding a photo of the questionare for Dallas County for your review. 

The cost in Dallas is $10. The cost may vary by county. Tarrant county charges $21. Unlike Dallas county, there is no form online in Tarrant county. Here’s the link– Tarrant County Certified Marriage License Request.

Juggling incoming emails and text messages while sitting in the parking lot of Jack County Jail, my husband sends me a text telling me he loves me. It’s the little things but the stinky skunk development problem is finally over and Matthew is relieved! Thank goodness. We’ve had a month of brain storming to solve the skunk issue and, it’s a month too long. 

I miss my happy go lucky husband. Matthew is actually hilarious when he isn’t stressed out. Cindy and I are looking forward to road tripping to Stiles, San Saba, Crain and Huntsville Units before heading back to Louisiana in May. We love getting away for a day or two and hitting the junk shops together. 

My husband prefers long walks with my feisty Beagle, Foxy Wortham along with the Golf Channel or NASCAR and a dry martini. 

Cindy’s husband left for Canada today so she has 5-6 days before Steve Daniel is back home for a 1-3 day “staycation” at Camp Chaos AKA Cindy and Steve’s house. 

With five females fighting over the bathroom, I’m guessing Steve was “ready to roll.” Fighting for a bathroom isn’t fun at Cindy’s house. I drink a lot of water and coffee and it’s not uncommon for me to stop at Petro on my way to her house to effectively “stand in line.” 

Things will get worse when Alex comes to stay for a month before leaving for San Diego with Leigh Ann, Maddy and the twins. A summer in San Diego will do them all good and an empty house will be a Godsend to Cindy as we bounce all over the place to client bookings. 

In fact, I’m looking forward to Cindy staying at my house for our slumber parties and spook movie nights.

My Saturday clients are so much fun that Leigh Ann and I can’t wait to see them again. I love it when clients at outgoing and spirited at photo shoots.We love our LBGT clients and I’m looking forward to seeing the rest of the rehearsal photos for Brokk and Ruben. 

Since I’ve been asked, I do stop and start blogs between bookings. I just leave my WordPress app open and pick up where I’ve left off. All of my blogs are typed with one finger on my iPhone. Often, while waiting on a client at a Unit or venue. I spend a lot of time waiting as I’m always early.

I reviewed another email regarding someone else blogging on one of my sites and will once again go over why I have no interest in “guest writers.” First, my content is entirely my own and based on my experiences with clients and my family since they are both combined. 

Secondly, I have no interest in sharing my platform with others. 

Thirdly, I do not allow back links on any of my sites. Sorry, but, I’m not now nor will I ever be interested in having a guest blogger.

I’m off to the Parker County Courthouse and looking forward to meeting all of my new clients in the coming weeks… 

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People, Prisons & Places- Travels Of A TDCJ Officiant And My Twin Sister…

Leaving Fort Worth Tuesday morning at 3:45AM with my twin sister complaining “we should have left at 3:30,” the Texas Twins hit the highway. 

It would be at least two hours before Cindy’s twin granddaughters, Maryssa and Makenna even began to roll out of bed in Weatherford, Texas at Cindy’s home. Cindy’s daughter, Leigh Ann would call complaining about Maryssa running late somewhere between 6AM and 6:30AM. How do I know? It happens each and every time we have a “red eye run” to a distant Unit. 

Cindy’s husband, Steve is a long haul truck driver who is rarely home more than one day a week. I can give Steve a mile marker and he often knows exactly where we are in Texas. Steve literally has been down pretty much every road in the US and Canada the last fifty years of driving. 

Cindy always spends the night with me when we are headed off to a Texas Prison before daybreak. 

Our destination? McConnell Unit in Beeville, Texas. McConnell is located near Garza East and Garza West as well as being in close proximity to Connally Unit. 

Texas Department Of Criminal Justice operates numerous state owned facilities. There are a few privately owned prisons in Texas as well as Federal and ICE Detention Centers. TDCJ oversees both state and privately owned facilities. Texas ranks first in the nation regarding the number of people incarcerated. It’s a shocking statistic. 

TDCJ McConnell Unit is a little over five hours one way from my location in Westover Hills, Texas. A few months ago, Cindy and I made the journey to McConnell in exactly five hours. My Tuesday bride had opted to stay at a hotel as my previous McConnell Unit bride had. 

It’s rare for Cindy and I to book a hotel for a number of reasons. First, Cindy has the Twins at home. I have a husband and feisty Beagle as well as numerous commitments with venues that I’m on staff at and Client bookings for Texas Twins Events and The Pawning Planners. Destination trips can get tricky so whenever possible, I skip booking a hotel. 

My Tuesday bride and her soon to be sister in law were meeting us at Goodwill in Beeville where I would drop Cindy to search for bargains while I was at McConnell at 9:30AM. McConnell was a 6-8 minute drive from Goodwill. 

I always find a nearby location for Cindy to “junk shop” for an hour or two. Flipped items are listed at our storefront where Texas Twins Treasures items are sold worldwide. The inventory can either be refurbished items originally taken in trade through The Pawning Planners or something Cindy and I have found in another state at a Destination Event or at a resale shop near a Texas Prison. We know what we are looking for. How? Cindy and I have been “flipping items” since we were in our 20’s. 

Cindy and I have thirty years of resale experience that when combined with our extensive product knowledge from dueling careers in sales, makes us both knowledgeable appraisers. It is rare for my twin and I to “take a hit on a flip, swap or trade.” We have had a few “bust barters” but, they were learning curves. Like anyone else, we learn from mistakes. 

I no longer accept non running vehicles that require a hefty investment on our end through The Pawning Planners. Such barters have frequently and nearly always “bitten us in the a$$.” When you lose money on a barter- you remember why and how you “took a hit” and are subsequently, far more cautious. We are. 

Many people are surprised to learn that we not only barter but that “we do Prison Weddings.” Often, our traditional clients will call or email during the week while Cindy or I are driving to or from a Texas Prison. The cell reception on back roads is always the “first clue.” My phone never stops ringing. Brok had called about his upcoming wedding while we were headed to Beeville and wanted to incorporate hand written vows. Asking if “I had time to talk?” I advised him that we had at least two hours to talk since we were driving to a Prison. I’m really looking forward to finally meeting Brok and his fiancée next week. I always take client calls while driving. It’s truly the only time I’m not juggling a client standing in front of me or emailing me. In any given month outside wedding season, I can be juggling 10-20 clients. In season? Upwards of 20-25 booked clients while fielding new client requests on a daily basis. 

Between Texas Twins Events and TDCJ Weddings, I literally HAD TO add more staff to address our burgeoning client bases. Our growth has stunned others. After all, I’ve never advertised. “How does she do it?” Well, when I started Texas Twins Events, I priced our services far below our competition. When a few people still couldn’t afford to book with us, I rebranded and expanded by merging Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create the barter option of The Pawning Planners. When someone came to me because she couldn’t find anyone to marry her at a Texas Prison, I AGAIN expanded Texas Twins Events to include Texas Prison Weddings. Exceeding client expectations has earned us referral businesss each and every year we’ve been in business. Previous clients re book for Vow Renewal Ceremonies upon release of their loved one from a Texas Prison or a Baptism, birthday party, Quincinera or even Memorial for a family member. It’s not uncommon for a previous client or one of their family members to book several times for different events with us. In fact, it’s quite common. Previous clients become threads of our journey and the door never closes.  

I’m not a “country person” although many assume that Cindy and I were born and raised in Texas. Cindy and I were born in California. We’ve left Texas twice to move to California and back again as adults. 

For a number of years, I kept a home in San Clemente and Fort Worth. For another number of years, I kept a home on Beaver Lake in Arkansas and another in Fort Worth. I’m out of the vacation home in another state business. Everyone wants to stay at your “vacation home” at your expense. I now book Cindy and I or my Team at luxury hotels instead and let someone wait on me instead. Don’t be offended. I’m honest. Having a holiday home is the biggest way to have everyone and their dog wanting to “stay at your other home” while you are working your a$$ off to pay for it. The lake house was an ongoing escapade of “friends” not only borrowing the house but also the boats and eating the food without replacing it or putting gas in the boats. I will never own another lake home unless of course it’s my primary residence. I don’t need friends who use me for their benefit. 

I’ve traveled the world extensively and prefer to live near the heart of the city. Cindy and I are Compensating Personality Twins. My twin grandnieces are as well. 

I’m always asked what “Compensating Personality” means. Literally though the definition means two halves make a whole. If you are unfamiliar with Compensating Personality Multiples, I’m adding a link– Twin Studies Compensating Personalities.

Why one twin would be more driven or bossy while the other twin is more complacent or happy to go along with the stronger minded twin continues to be something that confuses scientists. 

Part of the issue is that many assume that identical twins are identical thinkers. This isn’t true in our case, Cindy’s twin granddaughters case or any of the nine other sets of twins in our family. 

Also, for the many who assume that twins aren’t genetic, Twins have been born every other generation on both sides of our family for over 200 years. Identical twins are genetic. Fraternal twins are not. 

Identical twins are almost always  “closer” than fraternal twins although the variation has been studied over and over again. 

Twin studies are “big business.” My twin grandnieces love gift cards and other “perks” for being involved in twin research. 

Cindy and I have very little time to devote to twin studies although on a weekly, monthly and yearly basis, a researcher will contact us begging for Cindy and I to spend hours filling out questionnaires. 

A far better approach would be for researchers to call Cindy and I while we are spending hours driving together to a Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas, California or other state Prison. 

Neither Cindy or I have the time or the inclination to spend hours we don’t have filling out forms regardless of what the “perk” offered might be. Why? Cindy and I work seven days a week. Cindy and I juggle TDCJ Clients, Texas Twins Treasures Clients, Texas Twins Events Clients and Pawning Planners Clients. Time is priceless to Cindy and I. 

Cindy is funny, witty and never without something to say. I am far more reserved, reflective and detail oriented. Together, we are the perfect team. 

My sister and I are happiest when we are together and due to our unique ability to “merge our talents,” capable of overcoming damn near anything on location. Wherever that location might be. Our mini me twins, Maryssa and Makenna closely mirror Cindy and I. Maryssa isn’t driven and far more social than Makenna. Makenna is a stellar student and far less interested in having a social circle. 

Maryssa and Makenna have worked with our clients since they were two years old as flower girls, ring bearers & ushers. At fourteen, they now book with clients as princess characters for fundraisers and birthday parties to “save money for their first car.” 

The “tiny Texas twins” are no longer tiny and are now taller than Cindy and I. Maryssa and Makenna are both comfortable on camera and have been filmed for numerous media projects. 

Maryssa and Makenna are by far “lighter skinned” than Cindy or I. The reason for this is that our grandfather was a full blood Cherokee Indian and also, an identical twin. Our grandmother was Scottish with milky white skin, green eyes and red hair. I’ve been asked “why do most of your businesses have the word twin in them?” The reason is that we are a twin family. 

Cindy and I “came up with” the name Texas Twins Events moments before my surgery at Baylor Hospital. Not expecting to survive, I had told my twin “if this doesn’t kill me, I’m hanging up my courthouse heels and doing something I enjoy.” Cindy had asked me “what would it be?” 

Thinking about a great way to have fun and meet people that my twin could join me doing while also bringing her twin granddaughters with her, I decided to create a People Over Profit based business and, Texas Twins Events was born. 

Cindy had given up “her day job” to take on the responsibility of raising her twin granddaughters fourteen years ago. Isolated and overwhelmed, Cindy needed a way to get out of the house and we created one. 

Within one week of my website going LIVE, Discovery Communications contacted me. The difference between Texas Twins Events and other event vendors was significant. Why? We helped anyone. We didn’t care what made you different or if you had extraordinary circumstances. We became the people we had never met. 

Our versatility was based entirely on our own experience when planning our weddings. 

We didn’t have family or friends to help us years ago and subsequently, became the people we wished we had known but had never met. We are “different” and “being different” is also why we are so successful.  Our success surprises people but, as children, we learned at a young age that caring about someone else’s journey was rare. Why try to be like everyone else? That market was saturated. 

Driving to McConnell, Cindy and I took calls and checked up on the twins. Cindy’s daughter, Leigh Ann was texting photos she had edited from the weekend before at a wedding and complaining that “Maryssa was making everyone late again.” Cindy and I both did an eye roll. 

Midway through our drive to Beeville, I had Cindy screen shot a navigation pic to my beautiful bride to let her know where we were and that we would be arriving between 9:15AM and 9:30AM at Goodwill in Beeville.

Rolling onto the 130 HWY with a posted speed limit of 85MPH, Cindy laughed and said “only in Texas.” I’m not comfortable driving 85MPH although for many years I was a General Motors Certified salesperson familiar with Ride and Drives and various vehicles. 

At one XLR-V Ride and Drive in Texas, my driver amped up the speed to 120MPH. Was I comfortable at that speed? Not really. I prefer to drive 70-75MPH quite frankly because stopping distance and other factors are involved. 

Put me in an evening gown next to an XLR and I’m far more comfortable. I don’t enjoy “going real fast” in anything. I’m a safe driver because I don’t take risks. 

“Every Valero gas station restroom looks the same.” Cindy has become a public restroom connoisseur. It’s rare to “wow us” with an exceptionally clean rest area or public bathroom but, it has happened. The rest area near Huntsville, Texas is sparkling clean but, also has a rooster chasing you around. Once again, only in Texas! Cindy and I always laugh about the Huntsville rest area.

Rolling into Beeville, Leigh Ann calls to see if “we’ve looked at the photos she sent to our phones?” I pull over and take a quick look. It’s 9:03AM and I’m two minutes from Goodwill and our meeting point. 

The bride (a traditional client) wasn’t comfortable about wearing a tiara. I talked her into it. Her mother however, loved the idea! I have amassed an inventory specifically to loan clients for photo shoots. Why? So they don’t have to buy items they will only use once. I know, it’s different but, I’m different. I care remember? 

“Creating an inventory to LOAN CLIENTS AT YOUR OWN EXPENSE? ARE YOU CRAZY?” No, I’m not crazy but I am committed to “changing the wedding and events industry one client or barter at a time from Fort Worth, Texas.” The smile on the bride “wearing her very first tiara” thrilled me.I buy tiaras from many countries in numerous colors. I also either create my own bouquets or buy them. My rolling photo booth can also feature clothing from one of my 6 closets, boas, mink coats, jewelry, and more. 

Unloading one of our suvs while a surprised and delighted client sees everything we’ve brought to make their photo shoot special is a sight to behold. 

My McConnell bride jumped into my SUV and together we drove to the Unit. Every TDCJ Client is nervous at a Prison Wedding. 

Whether I’m in Texas or another state officiating a Prison Wedding, I’ve yet to meet a client who wasn’t a bit apprehensive. Why? Because no one “plans” to marry inside a Prison.

In August, Texas Twins Events Prison Weddings will be expanding into California. My niece, Leigh Ann will handle California Prison Weddings as well as photography and traditional bookings. Cindy and I will continue to address Destination Events and occasionally, if needed, I will continue to handle a few California Prison Wedding bookings myself. Yes, I’ve officiated numerous “high profile” Prison Weddings and many of these particular clients only want me to handle their Prison Wedding Planning Process and subsequent ceremony. 

Before anyone starts panicking that I won’t be performing California Prison Weddings or Destination Bookings with Cindy, calm down kids, I’m still going to book in California but, we need someone living in California and that someone is Leigh Ann. My niece enjoys working with all types of clients and is looking forward to her move.  Leigh Ann will be based out of Oxnard, California. My niece is also a Notary, experienced photographer and TDCJ Officiant and enjoys creating memorable ceremonies and moments with clients. 

I personally trained Leigh Ann and know she will thrill you with her stellar work ethics. When needed, Leigh Ann will fly back and forth to Fort Worth for Client photography bookings in Texas. Leigh Ann is always the “first choice for photography” bookings although my son and his wife also do their own photography and Officiant packages. Cindy and I will continue to do our own photos with TDCJ Clients and are buying new equipment to begin offering professional photography with either Cindy or myself handling your photos at traditional bookings. Leigh Ann is training my twin and I about professional photography before leaving for California. 

My McConnell groom had written his own vows. I love creative input. It makes the Wedding Ceremony far more personal and unique.Visiting with the Chaplain and guards in the visitation area while my clients had a few moments for a visit after the wedding ceremony, I was thrilled to learn that one of the guards was from Fort Worth and familiar with TCGPWA and the parade. 

Every year, Texas Twins Events and my Team look forward to being sponsors of the parade and seeing all of our friends in the LBGT Community. Leaving the Unit, I check in with Cindy and head back to Goodwill. As usual, Cindy has a shopping cart full of treasures. I rarely list new items at Texas Twins Events “in season” because I simply don’t have the time. 

Instead, during the winter months, Cindy and I walk our storage units and pull silk flowers to create new bouquets and pick or choose items to either send out to refurbish or list as is.

Unloading my SUV, my bride and her new sister in law are thrilled with the wide array of options I had left packed in my main SUV from the Saturday wedding. 

Everyone loves my tiaras. I have several more coming that are currently in customs and ladies, ya all are going to love them! Leaving the photo shoot, I check in with my husband regarding the “Stinky Skunk Development.” For weeks now, Matthew has been trying to remove the smell of skunk from his Springtown, Texas development. I’ve bounced ideas while he has sent crews to tear out walls, the bathtub and even hired someone to leave ozone machines. So far, every effort has failed.

Cindy googles for a solution that we haven’t tried yet. I order something on Amazon wondering whether it will work or not? The amount of money spent on trying to solve this “stinky problem” would shock you. 

Although I had suggested not replacing the tub, yesterday my husband had to tub pulled and ordered a new one. The skunk had somehow gotten under the tub and died but not before spraying a wide area in the master bath. 

My husband is depressed trying to find a solution for the “Stinky Springtown Skunk” issue. After all, in fifty years this is a situation that he has never encountered yet. 

Matthew will be relieved when we finally close out the Springtown Development and effectively say goodbye to the skunk problem. It will be a “two-fer.” 

Being a builder and developer isn’t an “easy job” but, my husband has far more patience than I do. Matthew can effectively “draw a development on a cocktail napkin.” He sees possibility in a field. I see a field. 

My husband tries to explain why “keeping those trees and leaving nature is the best way to develop land” while I prefer to stay safely in the SUV while he walks the land. I worry about poison ivy while my husband puts on hiking boots. I’m not really a “nature walking type of person.” 

In fact, I didn’t even own a pair of sneakers until after marrying my husband. We were in Austin, Texas “walking” a possible development. I was wearing Stuart Weitzman high heeled sandals. I will never forget trying to navigate my way while stylishly attired through a forest and my husband probably won’t either. 

My husband had laughingly asked “are you going to walk this property in THOSE SHOES? Listen, I know you’ve been a model and commercial actress most of your life but, in the real estate world we aren’t on camera and you need to buy jeans and sneakers.” 

Offended, I had responded “why would I spend good money on ugly clothing and accessories?!” Years later, I have jeans and sneakers. True story. Could the Amazon order of Natures Miracle solve the stinky problem? I have no idea but, it arrived last night while I was at a rehearsal with clients. 

This morning, my husband couldn’t wait to get to Springtown and “give Natures Miracle” a shot at solving the stinky problem. Warily, I predict that nothing is going to fix skunk house. Ugh.

Heading off to the courthouse this morning before meeting clients at Dallas North Tower, Parker County Jail and Tarrant County Jail, my calendar for months is intimidating to say the least. 

A day off for the Texas Twins isn’t coming any time soon but, Maryssa and Makenna are looking forward to the Easter break from school. 

This weekend will be spent on location with foster children at an Easter Egg Hunt that Cindy and I along with my Texas Twins Events Team are sponsoring. I look forward to meeting our new clients on location soon and wish you a Blessed Weekend full of family, fun and adventure.., 

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Travel? I’ve Had My Share Because I’ve Been Everywhere…

This morning while dashing off to meet my gorgeous brides, my husband told me the “Stinky Skunk Scenario In Springtown” still hadn’t been solved. We’ve tried chlorine. We’ve tried Killz being painted. We’ve tried knocking down walls and replacing them. We’ve removed bathtubs. We’ve done everything at the “Stinky Skunk Development.” Not surprisingly, every idea has failed miserably. My husband’s latest idea is to put 6 ozone machines in the house. To date, the expense involved in trying to remove the smell is so far over 4K. The number continues to grow. Heavy sigh. 

Dealing with the stinky development has really upset my husband to no end. In fifty years of developing and building custom homes, my husband has never dealt with anything like this before. Only time will tell if this latest idea will work. A few months ago, our roof caved in. The insurance sent 6 Hepa machines to get the dust out of our home for the repairs to begin. I had assumed Hepa and Ozone to be the same machine. Apparently, they aren’t. 

Thanking my lucky stars that we no longer live in each development and subsequently move every two years anymore, I was anxious to make “a run for it from WorthamWorld” in order to miss morning traffic on my way to Tennessee Colony, Texas. A literal “City of Prisons.”

I know, ya all think Huntsville is the only city full of Prisons but, it isn’t. Tennessee Colony isn’t the only “other city of Prisons” either. Gatesville, Texas is “home of the female prison” city. I’m there frequently with male clients marrying females and female clients marrying female clients. 

While others were fighting the traffic to get to an office job, I was fighting traffic to get to my first prison. 

“Thank God for Toll Roads. I have no idea what I would do without them. Whether it costs me $100 a month to use the express or a thousand, they are worth every penny due to the amount of travel I do across Texas highways.”

Wendy M Wortham


TDCJ Coffield Unit is remarkably close to TDCJ Michael Unit. Convenient right? I thought so too. Close proximity Units are how and why I can “cover several Units in the same day.” Michael and Coffield are even behind the same guard gate meaning there was no need to drive out and re enter either Unit. I was cleared for both upon entry. 

My first bride, Blanca, had brought her mother and the grooms mother with her. You will hear me complain about photo quality at certain Units and wonder why? To better show you, I’m adding the photo from Coffield Unit with Blanca. 

There’s a reason I do my own photos. The reason is to give my clients an opportunity to celebrate and have clear photos of their wedding day. 

Sadly, I can’t take my own photos at Units and also, the inmate can’t leave so, Unit photos are a must have for clients whenever they are available for purchase at $3 each. I always buy at least 2. 

Blanca and I waited for a little over an hour to finally meet her fiancée who was hilarious. Seriously. He should be a stand up comedian. I’ve never laughed so hard while conducting a wedding before. Due to the wait to perform the wedding at Coffield and another wait for the photos to be printed, I left Blanca at Coffield to drive right over to Michael Unit and meet Bridget. 

Heading out of Coffield, I stopped to update both moms on what Blanca was doing and that I would meet them again after meeting Bridget at Michael Unit.

Arriving at Michael Unit, I checked in with Bridget and ran back to my SUV to grab the handwritten vows the groom had mailed me. Bridget went back to her car for quarters. 

The amount of walking I do at Prisons should have me losing weight I often think. However, a sonic corn dog and Diet Coke or other “road trip” snack items prevent me from getting skinny. Heavy sigh. 

While back at my SUV, I check in with my husband and Cindy who is busy in Weatherford with the twins, Maryssa and Makenna who were both “less than thrilled” about STAAR Testing today and tomorrow. 

The twins hate STAAR Testing but what student doesn’t? Maryssa is not nearly as driven as Makenna when it comes to stellar grades. 

In fact, Maryssa (below left) is social. Makenna (below right) has a meltdown if she doesn’t make A’s 100% of the time.

Little Madyson is loving speech therapy so much that she’s now talking in sentences which is a great leap from where she was only a few months ago. 

All three of my grandnieces are looking forward to getting ready for more adventure together this summer. Maddy loves Hurricane Harbor and the twins love not waking up at 5:30AM.  Stephaney is settling in to her new routine at home again and looking forward to finding work to keep her busy. 

Yesterday, I had a call from the Attorney General about Stephaney and how she wound up in Valdosta. I involved not only the DA but also the Sheriff’s Department and Attorney General to get Stephaney home. I’m also committed to preventing this from happening to anyone else. A poster wasn’t going to bring Stephaney home. Law enforcement did. 

It’s shocking to me that something like this “Valdosta situation” could happen to our family but, based on emails from readers, not uncommon. 

Families lose loved ones to mental illness and addiction everyday. The only difference between our family and the family members contacting me were that eventually families gave up. We didn’t. We threatened to for years.  Nearly seventeen years. It’s a very long time to deal with chaos. During that window, my twin sister developed hypertension and high blood pressure. During that nearly seventeen year window, my sister also had a heart attack. 

In the same nearly seventeen year window, I developed a lump in my breast that had to be removed and thyroid cancer in the same year. Two years later, precancerous lesions in my ovaries required a full hysterectomy. 

If you think dealing with a loved one who “has problems” won’t affect your health, you couldn’t be further from the truth. Ask me, I know. Ask Cindy. Stress can and does kill people. It hasn’t killed us but it’s because we are fighters. We smile to hide our pain. Cindy and I are resilient.Perhaps my twin sister and I were unwilling to give up on Steph? I don’t know but, I do know that trying to “fix Stephaney” has taken nearly 17 years of our life so far and when you invest that much time in something, it’s harder to walk away. Ask me, I know. 

For most of my life, I’ve never turned down an opportunity to travel. As a teen, I traveled Texas for Whataburger Commercials with Mel Tillis. 

Later, I went into print and commercial modeling. I never said no to an opportunity to see a new place. I loved adventure and being paid to travel made my life far more fun. I don’t mind living out of a suitcase and never have. I relish the adventure! 

I was a frequent flyer for the the better part of my life. At 9 years old, my son was also a frequent flyer. We traveled so much that the Admirals Club was as familiar as our own living room. 

I believe part of the reason I found a trip to Georgia appealing was that it would give Stephaney a chance to explore and get out of Texas. I didn’t see danger. I’ve never seen danger and I’ve traveled out of the country to Europe and Mexico with only a few hiccups in Mexico mainly due to driving the pink Jeep identifying myself as a tourist. 

I don’t drive Las Brisas Jeeps anymore and discourage anyone else from doing so either. 

However, having cash on hand to the people pulling us over claiming to be police officers in Acapulco was a great way to get yourself out of a sticky situation. 

While Cindy panicked, a couple fifty dollar bills got us back on the road “high tailing it” right back to our luxury resort and taxi cabs. Leave the driving to someone else abroad. It’s safer. 

Bridget was beautiful, bubbly and hilarious. I had so much fun with her that it was as if we had known each other all of our lives. 

Walking in to the Visitation Area, Bridget told me about how she had know Pip from years and years ago. In fact, they had met in school. Bridget hadn’t seen him in thirty years. 

I’m always fascinated by the back story because every client has one. These TDCJ Clients are warriors. How so? Because for one, I’m not sure if I went to Prison my husband would still be around and two, they make daily sacrifices to make their relationship work. Hence the term “warrior.” 

Today, I told my Coffield groom “you are lucky. She has been driving for hours and your mom as well as her mom came with her today.” He said “lucky? How so?” I said “you are lucky to have someone who loves you enough to sacrifice for expensive phone calls and long drives. You are lucky because you have someone who is resilient and has perseverance. There are people on the outside that cannot find anyone to commit to and they aren’t even in prison. Count your blessings and thank this woman because she went through a lot to stand before you here today.” Not surprisingly, he did. I’m honest. I’m blunt and I tell it like it is. 

Handing Pip his handwritten vows while he looked at his blushing bride, knowing they hadn’t seen each other in thirty years was a fascinating back story for me. I don’t even remember who I went to school with thirty years ago. 

I kept the handwritten vows to send to Bridget with her bridal photos as a wedding gift. I’m corny like that. Here are Bridget and Pip happily married at Michael Unit.Leaving Michael Unit with Bridget behind me, I called Blanca and met her at the Tennessee General Store. I had over 300 emails since last night and ignored them all. When I’m with a client, the best way to reach me is text or phone call. Sorry but, get in line. 

Blanca and her new mother in law and mother drove across the street to the Tennessee Colony Church for photos. Bridget met us there too. 

I had packed my usual array of fun stuff for photos and had a great time with both of my new brides. Bridget waited for me to get several fun shots with Blanca and her family before they headed back home. While going through my items, Makenna (one of the twins) sent a text. “MiMi, I think I really did great on my STAAR Test today.” 

I quickly told Bridget “it’s one of the twins, I need to answer her.” Bridget like all of my clients realize that my family and especially my grandnieces or twin sister are a part of my life and waited for me to not only answer Makenna but also take a call from one of my 7 Beto Brides regarding printing her Twogether In Texas Certificate. 

Thank you Bridget. You are an angel and I really appreciate your patience. Here’s my favorite photos from your photo shoot today. As soon as I can find time, we are going to go have that drink! Bridget had to get back to The Colony to take her daughter to work or I would’ve loved to grab a quick bite before heading back to Fort Worth. I decided to head to The Colony instead and check it out. 

But, time wasn’t on my side with a phone ringing off the hook in my SUV and a husband who still hadn’t solved the skunk infestation at his Springtown development. I’m suggesting baking soda and hydrogen peroxide next. Jeez, I will be relieved when this skunk situation resolves itself.

The Colony is actually near the airport and I’ve been by many times. I recognized The Dallas Market where I had modeled for years for so many different designers that I can’t even recall all of them. 

No, I don’t miss “those days.” Twenty to forty pound bags of shoes while pulling 1-4 racks of clothes in one day? I’m good. In fact, I was thrilled to drive by the Dallas Market to such an extent today that I sped up while doing so. 

No more being a hangar for me ya all! Those days are gone forever with half naked models being mean to each other and designers screaming “on the track and out of the racks.” 

I won’t miss any of the years I spent in dressing rooms and on catwalks. There isn’t any real glamour as you starve yourself to be the perfect sample size and are fighting the headaches your hungry stomach gives you. I did my time and I still own many amazing couture clothes that were never “given to me” as many believe. Nothing is free. I worked in exchange for nice clothing. I also bought and brought my own shoes. There is no free lunch. I used my designer clothing to obtain high end sales positions. You must look the part and I did. 

If you ever try to sell anything without having pride in your appearance, you will fail. I didn’t. I prepared. I created an amazing wardrobe by working very hard to get it for many years. No one buying from me ever knew this. They assumed that I was rich because I looked the part. From crocodile boots to fur coats and $2k silk suits, when you walked in to buy anything, you bought it from me. Not the wrinkled shirt wearing half bored salesman beside me. It’s the truth. I couldn’t afford beautiful clothes so I became a model and worked for beautiful clothes instead. Yep, I’m a pioneer. 

Driving to The Colony in the event Bridget had time to meet me, I pulled over to Texas Roadhouse for an appetizer and glass of wine and sent a text to Bridget. Moments later, I would realize they don’t open until 4PM during the week? On a busy access road? Surely they must be losing business? I will have to catch up with Bridget soon as she is equally busy too and a celebratory drink just wasn’t in the cards for either of us today. 

I’ve had a few questions about “action shots” on location. Leigh Ann loves getting action shots. She’s the only person on my team who is good at it. 

The photo of the groom jumping was also taken by Leigh Ann. I cannot do “action photography” very well I’m afraid. Here’s the pic.

“Why do you wear suits to Prisons and Vestments to other events?” Because vestments are “flowy.” I wear suits because wearing a poncho styled garment into a Unit wouldn’t be practical or within the dress code guidelines.

Thr Administrative Directive pertaining to the visitation dress code is specific about attire and especially oversized attire. Why? An open or flowing garment can hide many things that’s why. 

My Vestments are imported from Europe. Traditional Clients love choosing from a wide array of my many closets full of Vestments and suits. Last week, my TDCJ Holliday Unit bride was “shook down” due to her dress. Like a Vestment, it was flowy. Really oversized. I knew when she approached me that a shake down was coming and fully expected it. 

The Warden advised me of a “shake.” Knowing why a strip search would be warranted, I offered to join my client for a “strip down.” 

I’m adding the photos below to show you why I expected a strip search upon meeting my client in Huntsville. I.E. never question a Warden. I don’t and my clients don’t either. 

If you are asked to strip- do it it’s not a request. Quite the contrary, it’s a demand required to enter the Unit. 

The other “alternative” is to wear a cafeteria smock backwards. Effectively this “walk of shame” is the LAST RESORT for female clients so, I suggest being complacent and going along with the shake instead. 

Clothing is solely at the discretion of the Unit. The AD outlines attire but the Unit has the final call on what’s appropriate and what isn’t. Flowing or oversized clothing is prohibited. Generally, all clients send me photos of what they plan to wear. The TDCJ Holliday client (above) didn’t. 

“What percentage of your clients are LBGT” Well, off the top of my head and while being confused as to why this question is asked so frequently, the answer is 30-40% and that applies across the board. 

What this means is whether a client booked through Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners, TDCJ Officiant or even bought from Texas Twins Treasures, a large percentage of all of my clients are LBGT.

“What percentage of your clients are rednecks or hillbillies?” Well, this question wouldn’t even be being asked if a few people hadn’t seen my shotgun/Camo themed attire. Seriously, it wouldn’t. 

It’s actually not that unusual for clients to ask me to dress a certain way or “in theme.” I can’t count the number of times someone has asked me to dress as Elvis. 

But, the answer is less than 5% of our bookings are Pawning Planners Clients.  “Why are all of your clients so different?” Different to whom? Pawning Planners Clients have little or no money so they barter their event services. Texas Twins Events Clients are booking by paying. 

Venues I’m on staff at keep a percentage of my fee. Often the percentage is more than 50% but, worth it to me because the venue is a non profit and I believe enough in the non profit to forfeit a large percentage of my fee. 

I don’t HAVE to work. I choose to work. I enjoy working. TDCJ Clients are an extension of Texas Twins Events. I rebranded and expanded Texas Twins Events to include TDCJ Weddings. 

The answer to these “percentage questions”  is that we help ALL people from ALL backgrounds. From rich to poor and everywhere in between, no two clients are alike. 

The variety of our client bases raise eyebrows. We don’t care. Our clients don’t care either. Opinions of others will never have an impact on our client bases. 

In fact, I turn down at least 15-25 new requests for services each and every month all year long or move them to another date down the road. You can either choose someone else on my staff or find someone else to help you. There is only one of me. 

It’s not uncommon for clients to be so determined to book with us that THEY CHANGE THEIR EVENT DATE TO ACCOMMODATE MY SCHEDULE. 

I have never advertised and I’ve never needed to. I went into the event business to exceed expectations and based all of our fees on people over profit. I don’t have to work and can therefore “write my own ticket.” 

I don’t take every job because I don’t want to and also because the last thing I would ever do is spread myself too thin for my booked clients who are and always will be my first priority. I’m particular. I only work as a planner by referral. Period. Planning takes months of my time. MONTHS that can be spent addressing numerous other clients. 

Planning is a time consuming task. It’s not and never will be my first choice. I’ve been a planner for years and I’m excellent at it but, I can do 30-70 weddings in the time I spend “planning one.” Shocking right? It’s true. 

Cindy and I work together as twin event planners. Large events need a minimum of both of us. We enjoy working together. In fact, we are happiest when we are together.

Smaller events can get away with one planner but, we often work as a team to ensure that we are over staffed rather than under staffed. “I heard you on the radio and you’re a little salty regarding language now and then.” Hmm, well, I prefer to be real and honest than fake and dishonest. I grew up on Vandenburg AFB. My first word was most likely “salty.” 

Many of family members are active or retired military. I don’t apologize for a little “salty” language now and then. I work hard and I’m driven. I also am a very passionate person. Being “salty” gets my point across. No one expects it but, I’m frank. If I’m speaking salty to you, I’m probably annoyed or irritated to begin with or I’m so comfortable with you, I effectively let it all hang out. In general it’s one of the two aforementioned scenarios that my saltiness will “shine through.” Hopefully, it’s because in comfortable around you. 

If I use expletives now and then, don’t be offended by my doing so. I tell it like it is and occasionally, my family life isn’t always pretty. I’d rather say something than hold it inside. But, that’s just me. 

“Are you a Christian?” Yes. Absolutely. I was raised to praise numerous different religions. I’m a minister and not only believe in God but also in the power of prayer. My husband is also deeply religious. My entire family believe not only in God but more importantly in giving back. 

My faith has been tested throughout my lifetime but, my faith has held true through the good and the bad through the difficult and the easy.

I listen to a lot of old Gospel music as well as country, swamp music, classic rock and even classical music. Often, it’s Johnny Cash who will sing a line that perfectly sums up the way I’ve felt at one time or another in my lifetime. Cindy and I saw Johnny perform at a California prison at a very young age and it’s something that I will always remember vividly. 

When he walked out on that stage and said “hello, I’m Johnny Cash,” it was the simplest and yet the most powerful statement I had heard anyone make. As a child, I knew every lyric to the songs he sang with a touch of bitterness one minute that easily transformed to love, hope and promise in the next song. My go to music is Johnny Cash more often than not when driving to a Texas Prison. 

“If I gave you time to change my mind, I’d try to leave all the past behind. Knowing that you lied straight-faced while I cried. Still I look to find a reason to believe.”

Johnny Cash 

Throughout my lifetime, I’ve lost my faith on more than one occasion. My mother was a heroin addict. My grandfather was a child molester. My first husband beat me and my second husband was unfaithful. 

The best way out of a difficulty is through it.” – Will Rogers – 


At this stage of my life though, I’ve learned that God was never punishing me. Instead, God was preparing me. I would need faith and resilience. I would need strength and wisdom in my life. My hardships would teach me compassion and empathy. 

“Listen to the words written down when the man comes around. Whoever is unjust let him be unjust still. Whoever is righteous let him be righteous still. Whoever is filthy let him be filthy still.”

Johnny Cash

I live and work by a very high set of moral standards. My family does too. There are no grey areas with me. It’s cut and dry. Black or white. My clients are the family I wasn’t born with. They are all like my children. 

Long after a Clients event service, these former clients also become our friends. Their loyalty is also why I’ve never needed to advertise any of my businesses. Don’t be surprised, we earned our stellar reputation the hard way. 

Cindy would say “close the tent- there are far too many clowns in here again.” I don’t. I can’t control the clowns. 

I try to control the chaos but at the end of the day, my life is a unique combination of both my family and my business… 

The clowns of course are my family. Cindy doesn’t point that out because our readers already realize this… 

Posted on

NOBODY Can BREAK Your Spirit UNLESS You HAND Them The REINS…

I’ve been working in film since I was eighteen years old and filmed my first commercial with Mel Tillis in Fort Worth, Texas. Other members of my family AKA Team? Not nearly as long. Certain members of my client bases? Rare if ever. 

I worked as a commercial model for twenty plus years. While some might think this job was exciting, the truth is that I was basically a hangar. I was better at selling high end clothing, jewelry and luxury cars than any of my other coworkers AKA models were. How so? I had the unique ability to have been “born to sell.” 

While other models might have had a better body, I had a by far better personality. Selling is about relationships not seeing someone frowning at buyers and behaving haughty while walking a runway. 

Only twice has my current husband ever seen me “own a room” on the catwalk. The first time he was amazed at how I managed to notice every buyer in the room. I pay attention to details. Walking off the stage, I also walked the buyers tables and gave them an opportunity to touch the fabric or my opinion on why this fur or that evening gown would be a good investment as a timeless treasure to “the right buyer.” I have always learned every aspect of any product that I have ever sold. I still do. It’s essential to be knowledgeable. 

If I believed in a product, I could sell it all day long. If I didn’t believe in the product, I refused to attempt to sell it. I have never been desperate enough to sell a product I wouldn’t buy myself either. I’ve never had to be. Why? Because I’m a helluva salesperson that’s why. 

I don’t see clients as numbers. I see clients as relationships. Friendships with my clients have lasted for years after a sale. My clients are like family to me. 

In today’s world, trying to find anyone in a store that even knows their own inventory is an escapade in futility. A few weeks ago, I went to Academy searching for camo clothing. Three salespeople told me “we don’t have anything because the season is over.” I continued to search and found an entire aisle of camouflage pants, shirts, jackets and accessories. Did I buy? No. But the reason was fit. The pants were cut for a man and I’m an hourglass shape. Why buy something and pay to have it altered? Instead, I went to my tailor and had an outfit made. Manufacturers need to realize that most women are not built straight up and down because we aren’t. 

As a retailer though, it’s essential your staff knows your product. Sadly, this “I don’t know what’s going on” type of scenario has been happening for years within the retail industry due to a consistent high turnover or inadequate pay or even both. 

Go out to a store on your lunch break and try to buy something while asking questions regarding the product and see how it works out for you. No one on the salesfloor has a clue anymore. It’s no wonder why people shop online because at the very least they can find what they are looking for. Think about it. 

In 2004, I was the top Cadillac salesperson over and over for years until I decided to hang up luxury car sales. How did I do this? By educating myself about the product and then bringing clients to me. Not the dealership but specifically my office.

I was willing to think outside the box and did. While other salesmen were reading newspapers or outside smoking or taking personal phone calls, I hired a photographer, bought evening gowns in various colors and ran my own print ads in country clubs. 

Making money takes money. I was investing in myself and knew I could make a profitable return on my investment. 

I was effectively direct marketing consumers who could afford to spend $110k on a Cadillac XLR. That’s right. I studied advertising and marketing and knew that “bringing just anyone” into the dealership wouldn’t sell high end cars. Why? The majority of consumers don’t spend $50k-100k on a vehicle. 

Bringing the “right person” in to the dealership would sell high end cars and, I was right regarding an “idea” that the other salesman found hilarious. I let them laugh. I’m a businesswoman and smarter than the “peanut gallery.” There’s a reason they have the “cheap seats.” 

I am a pioneer. I don’t “fit in any box” and I never will. I laughed all the way to the bank while other salesmen laughed at me. They weren’t laughing long. People often laugh at my ideas or concepts until they realize how thinking outside of the box works. Then, they want my expertise. Then, they want me to train them. But, I don’t work for free. Knowledge is power. Experience is priceless and without risk there are no rewards. 

The number of times someone has contacted me to ask me to “teach them how to do what I did” would astound you. From venue owners to salespeople “who heard about the lady that was a model and created her own print ads” to others who recognized that my success was based entirely on being different. As a child, being different was never “a gift.” As an adult though, my resilience and strength were my formula for success. 

Others have contacted me for years because they “want to learn how to do what I do.” It is surprising. But, the people “asking for an apple and expecting a pie” cannot understand why and how I make anything I involve myself with successful. It’s actually the “key” to my success. 

I am fearless. I’m not afraid. I’ve never been afraid to fail first to succeed second. Ever. I can afford to take risks. When you learn anything the hard way by doing it yourself, you remember every detail. 

Sure, I’ve taken a fall now and then on a bad investment but who hasn’t? I get right back on my horse and ride on. Fear is failure.  

The stock market literally bores me to death. Put me in a casino with lights, music and excitement. I’d rather gamble than watch the stocks. My husband does the long term investments. 

#cindyism “FAILURES are the SEEDS you SOW, before REAPING a HARVEST of SUCCESS” God bless us all.

I have a photographic memory. I’m also dyslexic. I taught myself to read and escaped by reading. I’m different. People who want to do what I do aren’t. They cannot be me because they have never endured the struggles I’ve overcome. 

My sister and I weren’t afraid to leave home at 15 with the clothes on our backs. We weren’t worried about where we would go, where we would sleep or how we would survive. At 15 we were also eating out of trash cans behind convenience stores. Now you can comprehend and fully understand why I’m not afraid to be different. Cindy isn’t either. We had nothing and I mean nothing to go back to. No one to help us. No one who cared about us. Our family? Humph. They didn’t care if we starved. We ran from the Hell we left behind. RAN. Cindy and I don’t owe anyone anything. We are survivors. 

We both jumped into our first marriages and we both regretted our decision. If someone were to try and hit either of us today, I can assure you that it would be a mistake. We left a violent home as teens and assumed every wife was beaten because we didn’t know anything else. Violence was a normal fact of life for us as children. But, we learned as adults that “our normal” was in fact “abnormal.” So, we left again. 

Years ago, other models could not for the life of them understand how I outsold over and over at every single show thought they should sell more solely because “they were thinner.” Being thin doesn’t make you an incredible salesperson whether you are in print or at a style show. It wasn’t unusual in those days for a buyer to purchase whatever I had worn strutting down that catwalk right off my rack. In fact, it was a frequent occurrence. Everyone wanted to be me at a style show. I was the most confident and carefree model I’ve ever met. 

Often I was also wearing heavier makeup to mask a bruised eye or swollen cheek from my jealous husband the day before. No one knew this other than my dresser. I wore Christian Dior butterfly sunglasses daily to hide most of my face walking into make up. 

When I wore something while modeling, I owned it. I made it more than soft, luxurious fur or a piece of expensive fabric or high end jewelry. The moment my dresser said “go,” I was transformed from all of the problems waiting for me at home (I had a violent first marriage) and because of my inate ability to compartmentalize, when I was on a runway or in front of a camera, I was in also in another world. 

Modeling was a world where no one would hit me or call me names. In a world where I was the star of the show while others assumed that they were. I was a chameleon who shed my beaten down victim shell the moment I walked my rack with my dresser. The second I knew each and every change on my rack or racks, I had already decided what liked best about this or least about that. Buyers would ask and I would answer. I knew the fabrics and I knew the products. 

I became an actress rather than a hangar and I walked through those backroom drapes and half dressed models to a room full of buyers as if they had been waiting for me all of their lives. I was “on.” The other models never stood a chance with me. It took time for them to realize this but, they did. 

I’m a paid consultant and whether I advise you for ten minutes or twenty, my bill rate is by the hour. That’s right I get paid to talk and the buyer listens. I’ve marketed and represented Kodak, P&G, and many other other household name based brands that are highly recognized. If you want my advice or insight or direction on how to sell something you call me. But, you also pay me. 

Cindy is a pioneer too. We both had to be our entire lives. Years ago, Cindy was working at Hawk Electronics. She had broken her back in a horrific car accident and couldn’t walk a salesfloor so she took a job scheduling home security alarm appointments. Like me, she was an innovator. Cold calling sucks and to get $25 per sale, Cindy read newspapers and got crime reports to directly find areas of high crime and called them instead of wasting her time and her breath calling the “wrong people.” Cindy had a 99% closing rate but, the “old dogs” aka salesmen she handed the leads to cut her out of the sale and collected $150 for “finding the lead.” Within weeks, Cindy noticed her commissions were going down and went to payroll to question why. When she was told the names of confirmed sales and recognized them as her own leads, she “whipped out her own records.” Because the old dogs “had already been paid on Cindy’s sales,” my sister learned a valuable lesson. 

A few days later, one of the salesmen walked up to her desk and said “have you got got any leads for me?” Smirking Cindy said “no but, I do have a news flash. I’m working with payroll and from now on, I’m giving payroll a list of all of my leads names and phone numbers and addresses as well as the date I contacted them. You won’t be stealing from me anymore.” Two days later, the unethical scoundrel quit. My sister though continued to CYA and got paid to do so.

There aren’t any “friends as coworkers” in the sales industry. Sales are a cut throat business. While other coworkers attempted to copy, replicate or duplicate our ability to outsell them, Cindy and I laughed all the way to the bank. 

Originality and creative thinking as well as our ability to think outside the box are only a few of the reasons we have always been successful in ANY sales based industry. If we failed, we went hungry and we both knew it. 

My experience in film and print modeling propelled me into the strongest selling high end luxury car bracket there was. I also left Cadillac “on top.” 

Looking back, those “old dogs” on the salesfloor needed a wake up call. I literally gave them one by bringing my own people into the dealership rather than waiting for the people to come to the dealership and hoping to “snag” a possible client in a position to buy who was actually only “pulling up to window shop” and effectively wasting my time or my “up.” 

My ads weren’t for the dealership. They were for me and if you saw my ad, you ONLY came to ME. I worked solely by appointment. Yes, I was THAT busy. 

By the way, prior to Cadillac, I had never sold cars in my entire life either. I can look at a business any type of sales driven business and find a niche. 

I’ve been a brand ambassador for so many brands that I’m also an expert consultant for GLG and have been for many years. What people don’t know about me shocks them. But, I’m a survivor. I saw a need for affordable event services and created a People Over Profit based event business. No one else was willing to take such a risk but, I could well afford to and I did. Maybe to a few that was a crazy idea but, while they laughed, my business model became stronger and stronger year after year. I laugh now as I have many times before. I laugh because I’m driven, I’m passionate and I’m determined. I don’t give up. I’m also a twin. Yes, together we actually are unstoppable. 

The continued interest in my client base or even my life garners phone calls, emails and site inquiries week after week after week. The problem? Trying to educate someone who knows very little about me. It’s a really time consuming task. While talking on the phone to them, I almost always have a client attempting to reach me. In other cases, I am on location with a client when one of these inquiries “roll in.” 

I’m the type of person who researches everything. I’m OCD. I’m articulate and I always have a back up plan for disasters in location too. I think in a circle. Literally. 

Today’s blog will go over the most unusual and invasive questions I’ve come across yet. A few of them may surprise you. Others may offend you but, I can assure you that I have no problem being honest, transparent and completely open about my life, my clients and my businesses. I have nothing to hide and neither do they. 

Leaving my office after going through yet another round of inquiries from production companies and Europe based networks, I am going to literally “kick off” today’s blog with enlightening news you can use if you are not BOUND TO ME BY BLOOD OR BUSINESS. 

Listen up and pay attention as I rarely if ever repeat myself. I would repeat myself but I simply don’t have the time during wedding season. I’m far more inclined to be patient when I don’t have a burdened schedule to be honest with you.

Contacting me and assuming that you are going to schedule a Skype interview or conference call at YOUR CONVENIENCE is one of the craziest ideas that I’ve ever heard of yet. You’re busy? You are asking me to drop everything to accommodate your schedule? If I have time for YOU outside my own schedule, such Skype or even phone interviews will be scheduled AT MY CONVENIENCE NOT YOUR OWN. 

Furthermore, asking me to “Face Time” you from the road while traveling or while I’m on location, isn’t going to happen today, tomorrow or forever. The ONLY time I use Face Time is with my grandnieces. 

Frankly, no one (unless you are in your 20’s) looks good on Face Time. I have no desire for anyone to use film from Face Time to either “pitch or promote” me. 

I’m hoping that I’ve clarified the best way to get what YOU want from ME, I will also take a moment to once again ask that anyone attempting to contact me STOP contacting venues I’m on staff at and instead use one of my sites, my email or the same phone number I’ve had for fifteen years to contact me rather than continuing to call me at a business I do not work at on a daily basis. 

I.E. the number you are calling isn’t to CONTACT me instead, the number listed on the internet is to BOOK ME. The venue is busy too. After all, it’s wedding season. 

This “calling me at a venue I’m on staff at” continues to happen and also is continually disruptive to the business you are contacting. Please stop. 

I have five websites with contact us links and my phone number as well as my address are literally “all over the internet.”

Now, let’s get down to today’s parking lot blog and reiterate that all of my blogs are typed with one finger on an iPhone in a parking lot waiting on a client. For those who assume I pay a writer, you couldn’t be further from the truth. I do not hire creative content writers. I create my own content. Also, I have no interest in blogging for someone else because “you need an experienced blogger.” 

Please do not use any of my sites to contact me to either pitch a product or for any reason other than Event Services through Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners or TDCJ Weddings in Texas and outside Texas. 

I don’t need “more clients” or “marketing” or “engaged social media.” I have all of those things and handle my own social media. 

I’m an overachiever and a workaholic that hasn’t needed to work to earn a living in years. I’m also not “relatable” to most people due to the fact that while others were working as little as possible in their twenties, I was working 2-3 jobs. 

Most people don’t put 120-150% into their career. Why? Because they are lazy and entitled. Also, they have a family to fall back ON nearly all of the time too. I didn’t. My sister didn’t. We are DIFFERENT but, the difference between our stellar work ethics and others is based entirely on our unique circumstances and ability to survive and thrive. We thrill our clients. We treat them like the family we weren’t born with. Our clients are and always will be our first priority. Personlized service is difficult to come by these days but, when you book with the Texas Twins, you are the star of our show. 

If you have hired my sister or I in any capacity over the years, you were always surprised at our stellar work ethics. Cindy and I were thrilled to “become the employee you wished you had ten more of.” We were also honored and ecstatic to exceed your expectations because you also paid us to “perform.” This type of dedication is rare. 

However, for my former employers that cut our commissions “because we were making too much money,” we also left you and worked elsewhere. Loyalty is earned. I’m always amazed that expecting someone to sell your products without offering them and incentive or adequate compensation continues to “confuse business owners as to why their numbers are down” but, if you have a helluva salesperson, be smart enough to keep them by compensating them rather than punishing them and effectively “cutting their income.” It’s common sense. 

“Pigs get fed and hogs get slaughtered.” Cutting your sales staffs commissions is the stupidest and greediest thing I’ve ever encountered. It’s happened to me many times though by managers who were upset that I earned “more than them.” 

If I quit to take another job, you forced me to do so by affecting my earning capacity. I don’t look back. I look forward. 

Work is my salvation. I’m happiest when working. My twin sister is too. 

The Texas Twins Events “umbrella” for Prison Weddings and/or other states outside of Texas inmate Officiant services also fall under Texas because I am based in Texas. I’ve been asked “why don’t you have different sites pertaining to different states you operate within?” The last thing I need is to add more sites for each state I operate within. I already write blogs for five sites and juggle numerous clients and have no need to redirect traffic to another site. I also work solely by referral and always have so there is no need for me to create a new site for a different state we service. In fact, destination event services have been booked through Texas Twins Events for YEARS. 

If you are contacting me or having your freight company contact me regarding a purchase or pick up for Texas Twins Treasures, please do not use TDCJ Officiant to do so. This particular site has nothing to do with Texas Twins Treasures. Items sold at Texas Twins Treasures are scheduled for pick up or delivery through my site or via direct email or phone. Thank you for your attention to this matter. 

Let’s get started on why anyone in the entertainment industry assumes that a bride or groom planning to marry an inmate is either a hillbilly or biker and in either description also uneducated. This “preposterous idea” of anyone marrying an inmate leaving the trailer park to do it is not only offensive to my clients but also myself and my staff. 

My clients know the decision they are entering to marry an inmate is serious. They realize that it will be one sided and they are willing to accept those terms. In nearly all cases, many of my clients never actually “planned to marry a Prisoner.” 

Because of the continued ignorance of others, I’ve decided to use my production site, Texas Twins TV to specifically share the stories of clients who have an interest in even considering auditioning for any type of television format pertaining to their lives, their journeys and their decision to marry an inmate. For a link to Amanda and her journey, click here- Wendy Wortham Interviews TDCJ Client, Amanda.

These individuals are educated, wholesome and passionate. They are also brave, strong and resilient. If you are unaware of this and assume that our California Prison Clients are “beach bums” or that our Texas, Louisiana and other adjoining states Prison Client Bases are hillbillies or swamp people, save your ignorance and spare my time. You are incorrect on all “assumptions.” 

I had one production company ask me last month “can they talk though? Do they speak intelligently?” What? Are you kidding me? Turn off that television and recognize that they have obviously spoken to me and therefore can and do hold intelligent and articulate conversations on a daily basis. Can they talk? WOW. 

I could not believe yet another idiotic statement last week that ironically came (as usual) at the worst possible time for me while on location with a bride having a meltdown at a high end venue from yet another production company “we saw you with shotguns and wearing camo in Texas on the internet. What do you mean you aren’t a hillbilly? You looked like one.” 

Let’s add the photos shall we? I’m the most versatile person you are ever going to encounter. I can go from a barn to an exclusive venue within hours and I do. First- the  camo client had hired my staff specifically for a themed wedding. Do your research. Second- Dream Events are just that. The client wanted to incorporate her daughter into the wedding as the groom had been acting as her father since birth. This was a very emotional ceremony for all concerned. 

The bride had asked me to wear camo and like anyone else asking me to do something outside my usual scope of services, was a referral. I had never previously owned anything camo in my entire life. So, no, I’m not a hillbilly. I don’t live on a farm and I don’t ride a horse to work either. 

I thinks it’s interesting that people jump to conclusions without doing more research but, they do. What is this “I’m a hillbilly” or my clients are “hillbillies” synopsis coming from? Could it be based solely on living in Texas? I’m confused. 

Here are other photos of more “traditional clients” solely to enlighten you. Yes, they are “regular” clients not to say that any of my clients are “irregular” I am actually quoting yet another production company. “But, Wendy do you have any regular people? You know that aren’t LBGT or marrying an inmate or so poor that they have to barter? You know like regular people?” Obviously, that production company employee was either 21-27 or had miserable grades in English and Literary Composition. 

Usually, a production company has someone so young asking the questions that I almost feel sorry for them. Almost. Why? Because they live in a bubble and obviously need to get out more that’s why. Maybe if these “youngsters” would put down their computer or phone and meet real people in real life rather than trolling Instagram, they might realize that being different isn’t weird or antisocial? Just a thought. 

Maturity in your 20’s is obviously not easy to obtain when your world is on social media rather than out in the “real world.” 

Anyway, we do destination events on a regular basis. These are scheduled on weekends and evenings of course because during the week I’m at a jail or prison. I don’t find this nearly as “unique” as production companies do. Why? Because I’m meeting clients I’m simply meeting them at a different location. I book high end end events too. Surprised? Don’t be. I’m not cheap either. If you want to book me or get on my books, you get in line. I’ve had clients reschedule THEIR EVENT to ACCOMMODATE MY CALENDAR. It’s a fact. 

If you want honor, integrity, and a team committed to making your Dream Event a reality regardless of your income because we also barter, then you come to us. We don’t advertise. We never have. We have also never needed to. If I’m cocky- bet your butt I earned the privilege. No one GAVE me a successful business plan. In fact, I created it myself. My family joined me. I wasn’t trying to be like everyone else because obviously that market was entirely saturated. 

When I’m asked about my affiliation with the LBGT Community, it isn’t because I’m LBGT. But, one production company assumed my entire family was? “I saw you and your family at a gay parade on the internet. Does homosexuality run in your family?” Hmm. Again, WOW. Common sense is like breath spray. Most folks don’t realize they actually need it. By the way I did answer “no” before waiting with baited breath on the next question while my twin covered her shocked face. PS- it’s LBGT not gay. That word is offensive to the community as a whole. 

Let’s go over this stupid assumption in a question format regarding my sexual orientation one more time. Production Company– “are you a lesbian? I saw you on CW33 at a LBGT event.” And you assumed everyone there was LBGT why? What about mothers, siblings, friends? Do you believe that every LBGT event is solely for LBGT people? Hmm. 

The photo below was taken by Adam Bouska immediately prior to being cut off attempting to visit friends I recognized at the event by a CW33 NewsFix team and subsequently, they barn stormed my family and I with a camera and microphone stuck right into my face while my grandnieces and sister were being pushed out of the way by CW33 NewsFix at the same time. 

If you HAVE NOT seen the CW33 interview, you missed seeing how terrified my grandnieces were. Don’t look at me. Look to the right at them. Maryssa and Makenna were both shell shocked while Cindy angrily looked on. To enlighten you, in adding the link– Wendy Wortham CW33 NewsFix Interview NOH8 Dallas, Texas.  

The safety of having Cindy and I beside the twins is most likely is why the twins both didn’t start crying or screaming when that herd of reporters came running at me and effectively, pushing at the twins and Cindy at the same time. 

Children who are unfamiliar with reporters are always “uncomfortable.” I can say this though, every production company that we have ever and I mean ever signed with was kind and friendly to our children and grandchildren. It’s very important to me and my twin that film crews understand we have family that includes younger children and even pets that are an intricate fiber of our lives and business. God bless the production companies for realizing we are a family and often with our grandchildren since reporters obviously don’t for one second consider that I have children with me when charging into the scene.

Our children and grandchildren are no longer intimidated or uncertain with barn storming reporters, cameras or microphones. Why? Because they have spent a large amount of time with over 9 production companies and also have been on location for numerous other film projects. The twins are seasoned and no longer concerned about cameras or microphones although someone charging at them might rattle them, it will not intimidate them anymore. 

The difference between the CW33 NewsFix Interview for my grand twins then and today is experience. The twins and my entire family are now (years later) not only familiar with cameras in our faces and microphones in our bras but also more than “used to the process” of filming. It’s just another day for us. 

Reporters this is for you- children are not accustomed to barn storming. If you would like to interview me or my sister, for God’s sake do not corner us when we have our granddaughters with us on location. 

My youngest grandniece, Madyson is 3 and like the twins years ago, completely and wholly unfamiliar with reporters, microphones or the type of barn storming the twins encountered on the CW33 interview. Did they think I planned to run to the nearest exit for a quick getaway? Who knows. I don’t run with children in tow. No one does. 

A few years later at the same NOH8 Campaign, the twins were not nearly as nervous when KTVT approached us at the event. Why? Because by then they had filmed a television pilot and numerous other film productions. I.E. the twins were now “familiar” with cameras in their faces. See photo below…

I’m not a lesbian but I have thousands of friends who are. The “other woman” was my twin sister. Ironic that everyone assuming that we were partners failed to realize we were twins isn’t it? 

For years now, I have sponsored the Tarrant County Gay Pride Week Association Parade. You should know that the parade for YEARS was held in the red light districts of LBGT clubs. To make the parade a “family friendly” event where children felt welcome, a group was established, Fairness Fort Worth to fight politicians and get families the opportunity to bring their children. My accountant, Tom Anable started Fairness Fort Worth. Sadly, Tom took his own life after the Raid At The Rainbow Lounge. I miss him. I will always miss him.

“I’ve never met anyone like you and find your use of foul language to be something I didn’t expect.” F Off. I don’t need your approval. My clients don’t need your approval and I don’t give a shit about what might offend you. After all, you contacted me remember? I grew up with a heroin addict for a mother and bumped around with my siblings for years. If you want “fluffy,” find it somewhere else. I’m not fluffy because I’m real.  

“What does “bound to you by blood or business” mean?” It means that unless you are part of the primary concerns in my life, you are a fly in my soup. Don’t attempt to “guide” me during an interview into making me something I’m not. You can’t pay me enough to be fake or phony or worse, your version of what you expected. 

“How do you manage to keep one client base of yours from being offended by the other?” Offended? Hmm. By what I wonder? That I’m in a Prison one day and in location with affluent people the next? They aren’t going to be at the same event together are they? Well then, why would it matter? 

Unlike “other people” who aren’t my clients, the majority of my clients do not and have not ever compared or judged each other or their differences. Except once in all of these years. That’s right. Once. 

In one (that’s right ONE) instance, I had a TDCJ Client effectively fire me due to my affiliation with the LBGT Community. Because of this and the apparent confusion since I’m a well published and public supporter of LBGT families, I refunded the former client and updated each and every Wendy Wortham site to address ANYONE trolling that I not only perform LBGT ceremonies but ALSO PRISON WEDDINGS. If my occupation or client bases offend anyone, it’s NOT MY LUGGAGE NOT MY TRIP. Get over yourself. 

I hope this blog not only educates but more importantly enlightens everyone who spends 2-5 minutes googling me without spending the time to do more research.

As for this weeks brides and grooms, congrats kids! We made it. It wasn’t easy but it’s now time to celebrate. I look forward to seeing you at Units and sharing your joy. 

To all of my Texas Twins Events & Pawning Planners Clients following TDCJ Weddings, I will see ya all in the coming weeks at backyards, venues, and PS, my team and I are excited to once again be back on the tarmac at Carswell AFB on a C-130 officiating another unique and creative wedding ceremony. If you missed the video of our C-130 Wedding on our last visit to Carswell AFB, click here- Wendy Wortham Carswell AFB On Location With Texas Twins Events.

God Bless America and although my staff and our amazing clients may not be what you either assumed or expected, I can assure you that we are all GOING TO SHINE ON regardless of what you think or assume… 

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Traveling In Four Different Directions- Texas Twins Events Team On The Road Again….

It’s unusual for me to call Kevin at Agency to drive me to Shreveport but, it’s been an emotional and exhausting week. Normally, the “draw” of slot machines and bloody Mary’s would keep me in the casino “falling in love with a machine (as usual) and trying to hit a lick.” I can’t help myself. I love the lights, the music, the aptmosphere of a casino. I always have. 

This trip is different though for a number of reasons and my orchestrated agenda has been changed to accommodate my niece, Stephaney who for two years has consistently been an unexpected carnival of chaos to my twin sister AND her twin daughters.

For nineteen months now, my niece Stephaney has been not only back on meth but also involuntarily committed 16 times. I’ve aged more than anyone realizes as has my twin sister throughout this window while continuing to address our clients and putting on our happy faces for Stephaney’s twin daughters. It has been horrible. It has been painful and convincing Stephaney to get help on her own only occurred this past week. Finally, I thought it was over. Finally I had hoped that the normality of our lives would return but, an incident at the Greyhound Terminal while Stephaney waited to board the bus to Georgia would be yet another setback for the Texas Twins. 

Last Tuesday, my niece was beaten at Dallas Greyhound Bus Terminal and subsequently arrested due to a felony warrant in Cotton County, Oklahoma due to a probation revocation. 

Why? Five years ago, my niece was on yet another meth fueled disappearance from Fort Worth with a bum she met along the way and also a passenger in a stolen semi truck. As usual, at the time five years ago, I was also working a large event with two hundred plus guests at 3 different locations with 3 sets of vendors at each location DURING WEDDING SEASON. 

I also needed and more importantly, the client had also BOOKED a bilingual translator, my niece. I don’t speak Spanish. Stephaney does. 

Nothing infuriates or upsets my schedule during the year than a “problem” DURING WEDDING SEASON. 

But, try telling my niece Stephaney that you are working with people who hired you over a year ago. I do not have emergencies in my life other than my niece, Stephaney. 

I’m normally booked out with “traditional clients” one year and frequently up to two years out. I also regularly turn down new bookings or requests for services if the person contacting me “only wants me.” I have a Team. The reason I have a Team is solely because I cannot be everywhere all of the time. 

If I’m not available, I bump you to another member of my staff. Cindy and I work together as a Team. We are inseparable unless of course, Stephaney screws up my schedule as usual. For years this has been a frequent, infuriating and regular occurrence. Read on. 

In order to get Stephaney “off the streets” five years ago after Cindy kicked Stephaney out of the house yet again for getting back on meth, Cindy and I rented her an apartment in an effort to stop looking for her and attempt to get her stable. This expensive endeavor didn’t work. In fact, Stephaney moved in a bum unbeknownst to Cindy or I. While we paid the bills and dropped off groceries every week begging Stephaney to go to work, this bum was hiding out in the apartment we were paying for while eating the food we were buying. 

Because we couldn’t find Stephaney over and over again although we paid for and provided cell phone after cell phone to her, it was decided that we would rent Stephaney and apartment and furnish it in the hopes that my niece would seek and obtain a job. She never did. 

The apartment for Stephaney was about ten miles from my home AKA WorthamWorld. The apartment was about 20 minutes from Cindy in Weatherford. 

On the weekend long event in question, I had also just seen my niece, Stephaney the night before, a Friday right my weekend long booking the day prior. I also had bought clothes (again as usual since she consistently loses or gives away everything her mother or I have continued to buy) for Stephaney to wear over the weekend on location with me at the event and taken her back to the apartment before driving with Cindy & Anne to the rehearsal for my big event that “kicked off” at Rahr Brewery. 

My usual discussion fell on deaf ears. I had firmly instructed my niece to “stay home. Don’t go anywhere. I will pick you up at precisely 9AM Saturday. We must be parked and on location at the Water Gardens by 10AM.” 

The following morning, I drove to Stephaney’s apartment and found she was not at home. I called the cell phone her mother has always paid for since we always lose Stephaney when she’s on meth and it “rolled to voice mail.” 

Alarmed, I went to FB AND LinkedIn to locate a bilingual translator in less than an hour to meet me at the Fort Worth Water Garden. 

Pissed off that as usual, Stephaney had once again disrupted my carefully orchestrated life. Deeply saddened, I also was forced to call my twin sister. Another crushing blow to my twin. We’ve had so many because of Stephaney. I wish it was different but, it hasn’t been in years and years. 

Cindy and I adopted Stephaney’s twin daughters at birth. Why? Because Stephaney is a meth addict. Our mother was a heroin addict and we were both determined to prevent Stephaney’s twin daughters from the violent and abusive childhood that we endured as children of a heroin addict. Thank God we did. 

I literally “paid through the nose” for a “last minute translator” at that event. I worked all weekend and, I didn’t bother trying to find Stephaney because I was working and also because I was madder than Hell about my niece once again screwing up my life, my sisters life and affecting my business. 

What if I didn’t have hundreds of other vendor friends to call during a crisis? What if I hadn’t found a back up translator ON THE DAY OF AN EVENT?! Now you are catching on. No one else on my entire team speaks Spanish. 

On Monday after that weekend long event, I (as usual) filed a missing persons report on my niece. By Wednesday when meeting a client with unusual circumstances, a call from Oklahoma was directed to voice mail by me. 

Laurie was explaining that she had bone cancer and had contacted me solely because she didn’t want to die without seeing her son married first. Laurie was a two time cancer survivor. Laurie wanted a big party. 

The party? Her son’s wedding. Laurie not only had a great party but is also and miraculously still alive. Laurie is (and always will be) a lifelong friend because we helped her when no one else would. Laurie had been working at Walmart. 

My client meeting with her was at the Subway inside Walmart. Not all of my Texas Twins Events bookings are with “rich folks.” 

Although many assume this to be the case, you are mistaken. Laurie wasn’t wealthy but, she didn’t need to be. I don’t “have” to work. I enjoy working. There is a tremendous difference. 

In my opinion, whoever was calling from Oklahoma during a client meeting could go F Off. 

Leaving Laurie, I checked my voice mail. My niece had been arrested and was awaiting a bond hearing in Cotton County Jail for a felony charge. Be me. If I sound angry, rest assured that I’m entitled. 

On the following day, Thursday, I was with Cindy crying all the way while driving to Cotton County, Oklahoma. My niece, Leigh Ann was caring for my twin grandnieces, Maryssa and Makenna in Weatherford, Texas. 

Driving six hours to get to the hearing with my devastated sister beside me, I was also confused. Stephaney didn’t know how to drive a semi. Although Cindy’s husband has been a truck driver for 45 plus years, Stephandy had no idea how to operate that type of a vehicle. My brother in law can drive anything with wheels. My husband will tell you that getting his pilots license was the hardest thing he has ever done and he did it for fun. 

To me-Stephaney attempting to drive a semi or a plane wouldn’t ever be even a remote consideration. What was my niece doing in a stolen semi in Oklahoma? Stealing a semi is similar a stealing a plane. Criminally speaking that is. 

Arriving at Cotton County, I had to help my sister out of my SUV. I was still confused but knew that hiring an attorney would be in Cotton County. There’s a reason. Hiring an attorney outside a country town is a mistake. Why? They have no relationship with the locals. If you unaware of this “hurdle,” the reason that I’m aware is because of my niece, Stephaney who has consistently for nearly 17 years been arrested over and over and over again. 

By the time I located the DA and fully understood the ramifications of the charges, the bond amount would cause me to grab a chair to keep from fainting. The DA looked right at me and said “the bond for your niece is $200k and the bond for her accomplice is $200k as well. She’s also advised me that you are rich and can therefore, bond both parties.” 

I looked right at the DA and said “I’m not doing shit. We are raising her twin daughters and she can rot here with whoever that dumb ass accomplice is.” I meant it. Stunned, shocked and devastated, I have no idea how I made it out of the building without falling down the stairs back to the courtroom for Cindy. 

Walking into the courtroom dazed and confused, I went to get my sister from the chair she was holding with both hands while Stephaney laughed to her accomplice in an orange jumpsuit and chains saying “I told you they would come” and left the building. 

My confused sister wouldn’t ask why until I hit the highway to begin my six hour drive to Fort Worth. When I did tell Cindy what was going on, she fully understood. We also realized that getting Stephaney that apartment had been a mistake and now we would be forced to get rid of all of the furnishings and pay off the last six months of rent too. 

More responsibility and expense because of Stephaney. Wasn’t taking on the responsibility of raising her twin daughters ENOUGH? No. Stephandy will tell you we stole her children. The truth is that we effectively, saved them. 

It would take months for me to decide to “Save Stephaney” as she sat in Cotton County Jail. Months. I finally did and after considering that we had my niece back for the 3 1/2 years probation that “she was on paper,” it was worth it to me. The twins finally established a relationship with Stephaney. 

For the first time in years, Cindy and I were no longer afraid to answer our phones for yet another collect call or go looking for Stephaney yet again but, we could have never guessed in a million years that when the mandatory drug testing terms of Stephaney’s probation stopped that we would lose Stephaney to meth again but, we did. I cannot even put into words how devastating this choice was to our entire family. Even today, Cindy and I are absolutely furious about Stephaney “back tracking.” 

Throwing a rock in the pond causes ripples. Stephaney was the rock. As her devastated twin daughters watched her pack while Cindy supervised Stephaney’s eviction from her home, the somber silence was similar to death. How so? My sister and Stephaney’s daughters were grieving her loss although she wasn’t yet dead. Wearily, all of us recognized that one day drugs would kill my niece. Why she chose to give up free room and board with the opportunity to be a part of her children’s lives after years of choosing the wrong path before winding up in Oklahoma I have no idea. Stephaney loved meth more than her family. My mother loved heroin more than her family. I hate addiction. HATE IT. 

You will often hear me say “people step I shit and expect me to clean their shoes.” Don’t be offended it’s the damn truth. 

Last Tuesday while my son and I were headed to Tennessee Colony, Cindy was headed to pick up Stephaney from “yet another Psych Ward stint.” 

Wednesday morning after staying up all night to keep an eye on her daughter, Cindy took Stephaney to Greyhound Fort Worth to put her on a bus to Voldasta, Georgia. This was our last hope to “fix Stephaney.” We cannot leave Stephaney alone at any time because we fear she will run off and find meth and drag us through more sheer, raw Hell again. 

Cindy literally watched Stephaney get on that bus because we cannot trust her. Not after the past 19 months of Wild and erratic behavior. Hours later, Stephaney was physically attacked at the Greyhound Station in Dallas during a 3 hour layover from Fort Worth.  The Cotton County probation? Revoked. I couldn’t believe any of this happened but, it did. Cotton County had issued a warrant and not “just any warrant” either. A felony warrant was issued. 

After I paid off the felony bond and had Cotton County rescind the warrant at midnight Wednesday evening with Cindy by my side, we picked up Stephaney from the North Tower. 

I then drove Stephaney to Harris Hospital. She had numerous bruises to her head and her knees were battered and bruised from being pushed forward while struggling with two suitcases. 

Yesterday morning, Stephaney was released from Harris Hospital. Tomorrow morning, Stephaney is flying to Valdosta. Cindy and I haven’t slept in days now. 

Last night, my twin sister who hasn’t been home since Monday, checked into another hotel to stay up 24/7 and keep an eye on Stephaney in order to prevent her from disappearing before we can get her on that plane. 

I’m exhausted. Cindy is exhausted. Cindy is fragile. I’m the strong one and even I can’t imagine how I will get through today and tomorrow. 

This is why I chose to hire a car to get to Louisiana. Emotionally and physically I needed to hire a driver. I’m a realist. Rescheduling a booked event isn’t even a consideration for me. It never has been. 

I can’t sleep. I can’t even gamble. I have more ahead of me with no reason to believe it will “flow smoothly” with Stephaney than anyone realizes. I must protect my sister, Cindy but, I’m on location and working. 

I have a Baptism, Vow Renewal and Wedding today in that order. Tonight a car will take me back to Fort Worth to help Cindy by relieving her overnight and watching or keeping an eye on Stephaney myself. 

Tomorrow, we will be at DFW to watch Stephaney enter the airport. Then we are driving straight to Eastland, Texas to interview one of my TDCJ Brides, Amanda to show the world that their perception of “people who marry inmates” is as far from the reality as you can imagine. Amanda is a girl next door. 

Leaving Amanda’s, we are headed to Stephenville for a wedding then on to Willow Lake Event Center off Mineral Wells HWY. This week we are back on the road to 5 Texas Prisons and then next weekend, on location again with “traditional clients.” There is no rest for the weary.

Tomorrow, God willing, the last nearly two years of Stephaney and her choices will finally and hopefully end with a new beginning. A fresh start. A chance at being part of our family again. I pray. I cry. I wail about the years we’ve lost and I hold hope that my niece will realize the mistakes she has made one day and begin to repair her relationship with the twins, her mother and I. I’ve tried everything else over the years and now need Stephaney to try on her own and PUT in the work. But, will she?