Why An Unsworn Declaration In Texas Is Insufficient And Cannot Be Used In Place Of An Absentee Affidavit…

Every few months I run into someone telling me “the law library said they won’t notarize an absentee affidavit and that he or she should use an Unsworn Declaration.” Well folks, an Unsworn Declaration will not be accepted by the county clerk to purchase a marriage license. 

Explaining the necessity of a notary to law libraries continues to be tricky but stay calm. Why? If an Unsworn Declaration is insufficient, a notary request will be granted. However, remember that explaining why the Unsworn Declaration is insufficient is necessary in order to get that I60 Request For Notary Approved. 

Most often, the clerk is new or unaware of the necessary documents needed in order to obtain the marriage license. 

Many of our clients in other states wish they could use an absentee affidavit. Why? Because the expense of transporting an inmate to the clerks office is a tremendous financial burden. 

Only Texas allows the use of an Absentee Affidavit to obtain a marriage license. The absentee affidavit “explains the absence of the other party.” Traditionally, both parties are required to be present to purchase a marriage license. The Absentee Affidavit removes this requirement. 

Let’s review what inmates are and aren’t allowed in terms of law library and notary access… 

NUMBER: DATE: PAGE: SUPERSEDES:

BP-03.81 (rev. 4)

August 21, 2019

1 of 17

BP-03.81 (rev. 3) December 15, 2017

RULES GOVERNING OFFENDER ACCESS TO THE COURTS, COUNSEL, AND PUBLIC OFFICIALS

IV. Notary Public Services (page 8)

A. Documents: Under both federal law (28 U.S.C. § 1746) and state law (Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code § 132.001), offenders incarcerated in Texas may use an unsworn declaration under penalty of perjury in place of a written declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit sworn before a notary public. Documents will continue to require notary public service if they are destined for another state or country requiring notary public service, notarization is requested by an attorney, or they are specifically exempted from the laws on unsworn declarations.

B. Scheduling: Offenders may request notary public service by submitting an I-60 to the unit ATC supervisor. Offenders requesting notary public service shall explain why an unsworn declaration will not be legally sufficient. Requests shall be acted upon, either denied or provided, within three business days of the receipt of the request.

The absentee affidavit specifically states that Unsworn Declarations will not be accepted… 

INSTRUCTIONS FOR COMPLETING AN ABSENTEE AFFIDAVIT PLEASE READ CAREFULLY

The Absentee Affidavit is to be completed if an applicant is unable to appear personally before the County Clerk to apply for a marriage license. The other applicant may apply for a marriage license on behalf of the absent applicant.

The affidavit will be denied if both parties desiring to marry are not in full compliance with the information that follows. The absent party must complete every blank and sign the affidavit. 

In addition, the absent party’s signature must be acknowledged and notarized. 

Photocopies or faxed copies will not be accepted. Unsworn declarations are not accepted. Read that again. UNSWORN DECLARATIONS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. 

1. Print or type all information that is requested on the application. No white-out or obvious alterations will be accepted.

2. The names of both parties must be printed or typed EXACTLY as they appear on the identification that will be used to obtain the marriage license.

3. With the exception of the other applicant, a person may only act as a proxy if they are an adult, 18 or older, and the absent applicant is unable to attend the marriage ceremony and is a member of the armed forces of the United States stationed in another country in support of combat or another military operation.

4. There is a 72-hour waiting period immediately following the issuance of the marriage license unless waived by a court order or proof of active military status.

5. The marriage ceremony must be conducted within 90 days from the date the marriage license is issued or it will expire.

6. An acceptable form of valid, government issued picture identification must be presented by the present party with one of the following for the absent applicant:

-Certified copy of birth certificate. -Valid driver’s license.

-Military id.

-Valid passport.

-Naturalization papers

PHOTOCOPIES OF ID ARE NOT ACCEPTED. NO ALTERED DOCUMENTS AS PROOF OF ID WILL BE ACCEPTED.

7. The absentee affidavit expires 30 days from date of signing.

Because I’ve been traveling the past few weeks for Destination Events in California, our office was closed during the holidays and I’ve been trying to catch up on emails, DM’s and mail as well as questions regarding law libraries and the Unsworn Declarations. Generally, I answer emails sent between 6AM and 9PM every few hours. If you are emailing or direct messaging me after 9PM, I will answer you between 6 and 7AM the following day. Running from airport to airport and event to event, it should be noted that if you don’t hear back from me within an hour, I’m on location with another client. 

Please be patient as I have clients for not only inmate Officiant services in several states but also clients from Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners and venues that I’m on staff at. 

Returning your calls, emails, texts and DM’s as soon as possible is important to me but, I work seven days a week and travel nearly everyday. If it’s been a few hours and you haven’t heard from me though I’m either on the road, on location with another client or on a plane traveling to another client. You can rest assured that I will get back to you as soon as possible. Many of you have asked about transportation to your event. A&M Transportation offers transportation and I know her well. She is based in Houston though. If you are based in Dallas and seeking transportation, I have several current and former clients that drive for Lyft or Uber. 

Occasionally I use a driver myself but my driver, Kevin has been with me for twenty years now but he isn’t inexpensive. His rates run from $90- $120 an hour with a two hour minimum so I would strongly suggest finding another option aside from my driver such as A&M, Lyft, Uber, or Greyhound. 

My booking fee does not include your transportation to the Unit. Sorry. I’m based in Fort Worth and cannot commit to picking up and dropping off clients because they have no transportation. 

Meaning.. I cannot drive to your location then to the Unit then back to my own location for free. No one can. My fee is based on distance from my location to the Unit. Please be aware of transportation to the Unit being at your own expense.

I’ve been asked about stacking Units. This frequent occurrence generally happens in other states due to travel expenses. By stacking several clients, my travel expenses are equally distributed to make services affordable in other states. It would be incredibly expensive for me to fly to Ohio for one Unit wedding and due to my schedule and existing clients also unworkable.

Occasionally in Texas, I can move from Unit to Unit on the same day based on the distance between Units. If I can’t and I’m already booked at a Unit on the date given, a reschedule is warranted. I can’t be in two places at the same time. I limit bookings in order to keep a flexible schedule. If you haven’t retained services and used my name to obtain a date and are calling me after the fact, I will contact the Unit and reschedule. I do not bump existing clients for anyone not following my booking procedures. Period.

Bridal or Groom Photography is offered as a courtesy to prison or jail clients only. Texas Twins Events and Pawning Planners Clients pay for photography. Why? Because inmate wedding photos are taken by me after or before the ceremony with my rolling photo booths and are mini shoots taking 15-30 minutes. Traditional bookings and photography require 1-3 hours on location and an hourly fee. 

Many Texas Units offer photos at $3 each. I will buy three Unit photos. If you wish to purchase more, bring $3 for each additional photo.

Jail weddings also require an absentee affidavit. Jails do not have law libraries. Mobile notaries are at the clients expense. Obtaining your marriage license is entirely at your own expense. 

If you wish to take the Twogether In Texas Course, the fee is $29 for an online class and I can send you the link. This course waives the 3 day waiting period and discounts the marriage license by $60 but you must present the certificate when buying the license. 

Out And About With Clients & More Questions Regarding Out Of State Marriage Licenses…

This morning while preparing to leave Bell Tower Chapel and head to a rehearsal brunch for my previous Coffield Unit clients wedding tonight, another question came through regarding using an out of state marriage license to marry in a Texas Prison. 

Let’s review this ongoing controversy and understand that while a marriage license from Texas CAN LEGALLY be used in other states that a prison Warden makes the final judgment on whether or not to allow an out of state marriage license at a Texas prison or any other prison for that matter.

“Can I use my Texas marriage license to get married in another state?” 

First and foremost- you should know that a Warden can and may refuse to allow you to marry in a Texas Prison with an out of state marriage license. Subsequently, a Prison in another state may refuse to allow you to marry in their state with a marriage license from another state. What’s “widely accepted” outside of Prisons isn’t always “widely accepted” inside Prisons. The Warden can and does make decisions pertaining to the inmate. The Unit also REQUIRES you have a marriage license on wedding day. 

It’s in your best interest to contact the Unit PRIOR to purchasing an out of state marriage license to inquire as to what the Unit requires by asking if an “out of state marriage license will be accepted by the Unit in place of an in state marriage license.” 

This question regarding out of state licenses continues to pop up but, each state has different rules. Each prison Warden makes the final call on what’s accepted and what isn’t. Please check with the clerks office  and ESPECIALLY the Prison Unit itself prior to purchasing an out of state marriage license for a Prison wedding in another state. 

A marriage license issued in the State of Texas can be used for ceremonies in other States. Texas law doesn’t “specifically dictate or mandate Prison Marriage” however and the Warden has the final say on what will be accepted and more importantly what won’t be accepted in terms of your marriage license on wedding day at his or hers Unit. 

Please contact your out-of-state officiate before applying for a State of Texas marriage license. 

Please also keep in mind your license will only be recorded in the County and State in which you applied for the license.

I’m going to once again strongly encourage you to contact the Unit prior to arriving on wedding day in Texas with a Louisiana marriage license or in Oklahoma with a Arkansas marriage license or in California with a Texas marriage license TO MARRY AT A PRISON. As many of you are already well aware, Prisons follow their own protocol. 

If I arrive at a Unit and the Unit denies you entry to marry based on your “out of state marriage license,” you will forfeit my fee as I’ve just driven or traveled several hours to meet you for your Prison wedding. 

If you have arrived with an out of state license “because you read on the internet” that you could do so without contacting the Unit to verify the facts, you did so at your own risk. I cannot stress this enough. 

Marriage licenses are closely scrutinized on wedding day at all prisons and the use of an out of state marriage license has been denied at Texas prisons before. 

The Warden makes the rules. Not the internet or someone posting that “you can use any other states marriage license for your prison wedding in Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma and Mississippi.” You can only do what the Unit and the Warden authorize you to do. 

Be aware of false or misleading information as a wedding outside of a prison has BY FAR more flexibility. A wedding inside a Prison follows protocol. 

Call the Unit yourself if you have doubts but stop trusting “whatever you found on the internet to be accurate.” Stop sending me screenshots of what you read on someone else’s site too. She’s selling a service. She’s also pitching her product. She’s also not in Texas. I know who she is and I also know that her information is unverified. Are you willing to have your wedding cancelled because she gave you inaccurate information? No one else is either. Call the UNIT! 

Arriving at Fixe today to meet the wedding party for brunch before our rehearsal, I’d taken a few minutes to review the menu and loved the creative ideas for food options. Of course I opted for a spicy Bloody Mary (as usual). This was a really celebratory day. After two years, seeing my beautiful bride again was a joyous honor for me. I love happy endings. 

The brunch menu was biscuits and gravy, shrimp and grits and deviled eggs with sauerkraut and caviar along with a really unique salad featuring blue crab. I’d never tried caviar although my husband loves it and was surprised at the saltiness. 

All in all though, this was a fabulous, fun and memorable brunch. I really enjoyed meeting my brides closest friends, family and children. 

My husband checked in on me as I was preparing to head to the rehearsal. We timed the rehearsal after brunch so the wedding party had plenty of time to get ready for wedding hour on site. 

It’s unusual to have the rehearsal and the wedding on the same day for my clients but due to traveling to and from Fort Worth for the wedding, creativity was in order. My clients are leaving for a cruise from Galveston this evening. 

Cindy and Stephaney were working a Willow Lake Event Center wedding while my son was working a Baptism in Dallas. As usual on weekends, the team was split up. Leigh Ann was working a wedding in San Diego and recovering from her “near kitchen fire” yesterday afternoon at the Inns Of The Marines. Leigh Ann and Alex will be in San Diego for another 49 days before moving to their new home on the base at Point Mugu. Leigh Ann had tried to cook dinner last night for Alex and Maddy with disasterous results in San Diego. 

My niece and grandniece are adjusting to the California move aside from cooking of course and enjoying the beach. My sister, Tammy is meeting Leigh Ann this week and excited about seeing Maddy again. My sister lives in Lompoc and is “still trying to get used to driving in Los Angeles.” 

Although Cindy and I have no fear whatsoever of jumping on the highway, our older sister, Tammy prefers “driving in town.” We are working on getting Tammy comfortable on the 405 and 605. Los Angeles traffic isn’t for the faint hearted or nervous driver. It takes far too long to use the 101 from Santa Barbara all the way up the coast although Tammy loves the 101. 

If you have time to take the 101, it’s worth the drive alongside the ocean but, in the Prison wedding business, making out your location and the timeline is essential to getting to your Unit early which is why I frown on the leisurely 101. Sure, it’s less hectic but it’s also far more time consuming and riddled with red lights. I’ve driven the 101 for thirty years when I’m not in a hurry but prefer the freeway because it’s been years since I’ve had the luxury of taking my time to drive from one location to the next. 

My dog, Foxy Wortham hasn’t adjusted too well after his dental surgery and the bite marks on my fingers from trying to pry his mouth open look like I have poison ivy. 

Looking at my battered manicure while writing this blog, it should be noted that the vet suggested this idea after the ongoing battle to get Foxy to take his meds became just too much. I’ve decided that after Foxy there will be no more pets at WorthamWorld. I travel too much and my husband loves dogs but caring for a dog requires a lot of commitment. Foxy is nearly 13 years old now and set in his ways. Biting me is new but he’s old and cranky. I’ve accepted getting but every morning but it’s a pain I can assure you. 

Tomorrow I’m in Dallas County then headed to Winstar Casino to marry my “second time around senior couple” who met on a gambling trip to the casino. I love learning how my couples met and find their stories fascinating. Cindy and I will be hitting the slots as usual and looking forward to a few hours of fun. 

Tuesday I’m at Hilltop and Crain Units in Gatesville and my husband is joining me. A road trip with my husband isn’t nearly as fun as with my twin sister but, Cindy will be tied up getting the twins ready to go back to school. 

Wednesday I’m back in Parker County and looking forward to buying school supplies for the twins and grabbing a quick lunch with them. 

Thursday I’m at Connally Unit and Friday back at Buster Cole. Next week is jam packed too. I’m looking forward to finally meeting all of you in person to celebrate your wedding day. 

Like everyone else, I’m depressed and shocked at the recent shootings. Cindy and I both attended the garlic festival many times in California. I had told Leigh Ann and Alex not to stop in El Paso when they left for California last week for strong reasons. 

Thirty years ago, Cindy and I had stopped in El Paso on our way to my home in San Clemente and we’re nearly robbed. I am always aware of dangerous areas and the world is becoming a far more dangerous place. 

Tragedy seems to be occurring far more often than when I was younger. Danger lurks at every corner these days and because I’m always asked “why I prefer prison weddings to traditional events,” I will reiterate that I’ve never been hurt at a Prison wedding. I’ve never encountered a drunk on location at a Prison pushing me or being abusive. 

I’ve had some pretty wild and unpredictable occurrences at “traditional events” outside of prisons over the years and I don’t miss the open bars and brawls either. In fact, I will never miss them. My team won’t either. I’m too old to get hurt on location. I’m tired of dealing with Inlaws and Outlaws and parties of 250 and more guests. I’m picky and selective because I can be. I’m dedicated to making your Dream Event a reality and the last thing I need are broken ribs from drunken groomsmen fighting around me on location. Arrests at wedding? Yes. Over and over and over again. I prefer joy. I prefer fun and I prefer my Prison clients! 

Many of our previous clients were alarmed that I had posted pulling back from large events but the pulling back was meant for new clients. Rebookings are the mainstay of our business and Vow Renewals for our previous Prison clients are booked twenty years out. We love seeing all of you again. We are honored to have shared your journey. We are just as excited as you are to marry again long after lock up. The flowers, the friends, the cake, the champagne and all of the things you didn’t have at your Prison wedding are all of the things you will have at your Vow Renewal and we are as thrilled as you are about it. 

It was a long road for you. Many of you have told me “I was doing time too while he or she was inside. I was driving long hours to the Unit. Paying expensive phone calls. Going through the screening process. Waking up alone. Paying the bills alone and paroling out means that I will never have to make that drive along again. I paid my dues.” You’re absolutely right and the sacrifices you’ve made to make your marriage work are amazing. 

You are all warriors. You’ve overcome everything going against you to make your love last and you are the most inspiring and resilient group of amazing people I’ve ever met. I love ya all and I couldn’t be more honored to be sharing your Life Event with you whether it’s in a prison or long after lock up on the other side of the razor wire… 

“UNLESS you have MADE the JOURNEY, never ATTEMPT to OFFER others, DIRECTIONS for their TRIP”

While going over event details with a client from my home office last night, my husband overheard me suggest hiring an outside bartender and security for an upcoming prom themed birthday party for 110-120 guests in November. My husband was getting a martini at the bar in my office. Occasionally when dealing with other vendors, I need a drink myself which is why I chose one of our three dens with an adjoining bar as my home office. True story. 

Many vendors will chase a dollar to make a dime. They lose businesses everyday over their inability to retain and keep clients. But, I don’t have the time to buy a venue and am therefore cautious with clients needing one. I ask the questions because I need the answers. My role as a planner is to make Events as affordable as possible. Budgeting is key. There are no friends in the events industry that can gain my client based on our relationship of friendship. Here’s how they can though- by offering the best value for my client. Sounds simple but, believe me it isn’t. Brand loyalty is built. 

Years ago, my husband bought not one but two Cadillac’s from me before getting the courage to ask me out to dinner. I also had advised him of ways to cut the costs of buying a luxury vehicle. I’m honest. My clients wouldn’t buy from anyone else at Cadillac, GMC or Hummer. Why? I earned their trust and whenever possible I also found and made the best car deal for them. 

My husband and I met while I was going through a divorce. It was a war. My ex had taken the car I believed he had bought in my name back and effectively left me without a vehicle. I had a son to get to school. I had to get to work. I also had to pay my lecherous attorneys. The solution? Visiting the dealership that serviced my vehicle. You know the one that I thought I owned and didn’t. I pitched myself as a salesperson. I also obtained a position within an industry that I had never worked in before. I had sold furs, jewelry, filmed commercials with Mel Tillis and worked as a high end print and commercial model for over twenty years at the time I married. 

But, I needed a car. Luxury car dealerships provided demos. I needed one. I also needed insurance and an income. Cadillac gave me all three. Building a client base required thinking outside the box. The old dogs on the sales floor had established clients. I needed my own. To overcome this obstacle, I hired my former photographer and ran my own print ads. Not just anywhere though. I ran these ads in area country clubs. Targeting consumers who could afford luxury cars. 

The same people at country clubs just like my rich and soon to be ex husband who played golf at, had drinks in the Men’s Only club at and dined at while I was effectively chasing a dime to make a dollar. 

The first ad at Ridglea Country Club shocked him. “Working as a car salesmen? What are my friends going to think? Come home and stop this. We can work it out. I will give you your Deville back. I don’t like everyone at the club seeing my wife in an evening dress pitching cars!” Hmm, I didn’t care. After all, my ex took the car he claimed to have bought me in my name back leaving me afoot with a son. He did this to force me into crawling back. Instead, I crawled away. 

That first ad sold 11 Cadillac’s, 2 Hummers and 3 GMC SUVs. I was smiling all the way to the bank. My ads brought clients in. My honesty sold them. My reputation earned me award after award. I was sought after. When people walked into the dealership holding a flyer from Ridglea, Colonial, Shady Oaks or Rivercrest Country Club they weren’t looking for my competitors on the sales floor, they were looking for me. If they didn’t have an appointment, they waited on me to be available too. 

I had also done something in the car industry no one had ever done before and I could support myself in style because of it. I didn’t need my Deville back. I needed an income, a vehicle, insurance and independence. Cadillac and my ability to think outside the box gave me all of the things I needed. My history surprises people. I’ve never been lucky. I’ve always been resilient. Did I expect to find a husband at Cadillac? No. I wasn’t looking. It was the first time in my entire life that I wasn’t worried about my future. I didn’t date. I wore my wedding ring to work and even had a photo of my ex in my office. I was all business all the time. 

My current husband had bought an SRX from me a year before walking into the dealership to tell me he hated it. I had another client in my office and asked him to wait in the lobby. I was concerned about him being upside down in the SRX and trying to find a way to save him money while closing a sale on an XLR. My solution? A demo. They are thousands less than new cars and carry a warranty. 

I brought him in and explained why I thought it was in his best interest to flip out of the SRX and into the Cadillac Escalade demo that I had been driving. “I’m not concerned about the cost. The SRX reminds me of my ex wife. Your husband must adore you and be so proud of you. I saw your billboard on the highway. You’re smart, successful, honest and upfront. He is a lucky man.” 

Snap. My faux personal life of being happily married was crushed and exposed. I started crying in my office on the salesfloor in front of all the salesmen. Damnit. My acting skills and my life were off fleek. Caught with my guard down. I had successfully created a faux personal life away from work that was so believable that I nearly believed it myself after years of faking it through my divorce. I’m a helluva actress but, Matthew broke my charade. 

I looked up and explained. “I’m not married. I’m divorced. I pretend to be married because I’m here to sell cars not find a date. It’s easier to pretend to be married.” This was how I met my husband. Shocking but true. I retired from Cadillac a year later. I didn’t need Cadillac anymore and started my own business instead. 

My new husband wanted me off the sales floor 50-60 hours a week and enjoying life with him, my son, my twin sister and new twin grandnieces. 

A few folks in the DFW area may remember my twin ad for Escalade “Got a big family? Get an Escalade.” Yes, even my family members were in my print ads. THAT ad sold the heck out of Escalades for me. Two sets of twins is a big family. My son and his equipment for sports was also used in another ad showing how much room for friends, kids and equipment the SRX had while being a crossover vehicle. 

My entire family became “models” during my years at Cadillac but, the twin ads and ads featuring me were my best car selling advertising. 

No one had ever been as creative at marketing as I was. But, poverty can define you or empower you. It empowered me. I was a survivor. I walked away from two marriages in twenty years with no money. I walked away with no vehicle both times. I would never do it again. All of my vehicles are paid for in cash and in my name. Although I can trust my current husband, I’ve learned to be independent and will never be dependent on anyone again as long as I live. My husband knows where I’ve been and understands that I refuse to be controlled. In fact, my agreement to marry years ago included a few rules. What were they? 1. I would own my own vehicle outright. 2. I would keep my own checking account and credit cards. 3. I would leave if infidelity ever occurred. 4. I would leave if violence ever entered our marriage. I wasn’t going back to where I had been and was very clear about the terms of committing myself to another husband. 

I don’t think like other people because I’ve also been a buyer. What would sell me? What would create brand loyalty? I’ve been a brand spokesperson for twenty years. I’ve pitched furs, jewelry, couture clothing and even Whatsburger. Building value in the product is essential to building a brand though and it’s difficult to create a great salesperson. Exceptional salespeople are born to sell. Although I’ve been in sales my entire life, I’ve never oversold a client. I’ve always tried to save money or offer discounts whenever possible because I’ve been on the other side as a buyer myself. What makes your product valuable? What makes buyers inclined to buy from you? Honor, integrity and treating my clients like family is why and how I outsold my coworkers in ANY industry I have ever worked in. They treated clients like numbers. I treated clients like family. I’m different. I care. If you’ve ever bought from me, you realize this. Previous clients buy and book with me over and over again. They also refer their friends and family to me. I’ve never advertised after leaving Cadillac and starting my own business. I’ve never had to. 

Kelley (a venue owner) had sent me a DM regarding renting her venue. The catch? Kelley REQUIRED using her own bartender and security. This would significantly “up the cost” to my client. Why? Because I have friends that work as bar tenders as well as retired military and police officers that work as security. Negotiating the additional cost to use Kelley’s security and bartender might or might not be a deal breaker but, due to the distance from the city to her venue, she would certainly need to be open to negotiating her “in season” fee. 

A lot of people fail to realize that there is an “off season” in the Events business but there is. Half of the year leaves venues like an abandoned motel, deserted and lonely. An experienced planner uses this knowledge to her clients benefit and, I often do. August is often too hot for anyone to book a venue with an outdoor area. October and November can be “iffy” too vecause Texas weather is unpredictable. 

Kelley was attempting to pad the bill by adding requirements to rent the venue. I knew it and she knew it too. Chasing a dime to make a dollar. This up charging was why I continued to get other bids from other venues. Kelley’s venue is remote. At least thirty minutes from Fort Worth and an hour from Dallas. 

If you have a venue in the country, lower your prices. Convenience is worth the upcharge to my clients and their guests. Seriously. I know a Burleson venue owner as well as an Azle venue owner that constantly call me to send them business. If your venue business is in the boonies though, attempting to charge the same rental rates as city venues is why you aren’t booking events. 

The client I’m planning the October/November event for has a son in the military. He’s coming home from Germany in late October to early November. She wants to celebrate his birthday and since he missed the prom years ago, incorporate the theme. She also wants a bar with beer and wine. She knows a friend with a barbecue restaurant that can handle catering. We need a building. Decorations. Bartender and security. Photography. DJ. We also have a budget and I always stay within my clients budgets. I will locate a building for her and it will be a building that is within her budget. 

Today after Estes Unit, I’m going to 3 venues. I’m also using this “venue hopping” to price out an anniversary party for August 31st for 70 guests with no bar and a budget remarkably close to the prom themed event. Meaning, the Vow Renewal with far fewer guests and no alcohol will be far easier to come in under budget on. An open bar can easily add $2k and up to the overall budget. Catering can run $12-25 per person and the Vow Renewal client is by far well within the budget he’s given. It’s going to be a stretch with the Prom Themed Birthday Party with an Open Bar and up to 120 guests. A tight stretch. A make every penny count stretch. If the client can secure catering outside of the budget she’s given me, it will be far easier to pull this off but, if she can’t, Wendy and Cindy will be shopping venues first and shopping everything else second since the largest expense is the venue rental. 

Both clients need a venue first. The venue being the most expensive investment. One of these days when I have time, Cindy and I will buy our own venue to alleviate the need to find one for clients but it won’t be this year. We are overwhelmed. 

A few years ago, Kelley called me to send her clients. I thought this was funny. Why? Because Kelley has never referred our services that’s why. It’s always ironic to me that folks who never throw you a bone want you to throw them a steak. 

Luckily though, I don’t need referrals from venue owners. I’m on staff at Belltower Chapel and have been for years. I limit my affiliation with other venues. Why? Because Belltower supports ACH and foster children. I donate 70% of my fee to ACH. 

Other venues outside of Belltower are all about the money. That’s okay. It’s business. 

But- my clients ARE MY BUSINESS and therefore, building value for their buck is why I don’t pitch them a venue just because I know the owner. Instead, I shop them. 

My clients warrant value. I don’t have any “friends” owning a venue who can supersede my clients. I don’t want any friends expecting me to pad their pockets at my clients expense either. 

Last year, another venue owner called me. “We are going to go out of business. We doubled our prices and can’t get any bookings.” I sat my coffee down to rerun what I just heard. 

If common sense was spare change, a few folks couldn’t afford a coffee. “Perhaps you should lower your prices. If a product doesn’t sell, you discount it.” The venue owner wasn’t interested in solving her own problems. “Amazingly, you have never advertised and have grown year after year. Send me your clients. We will even take on LBGT couples. We need what you have.” What the? “Take on LBGT clients?” I was offended. 

My affiliation within the LBGT community was EARNED. Also, I don’t pass around my clients like peanuts at a bar. Humph. How to be politically correct in an obviously incorrect conversation? I went to my office bar and poured myself a chocolate martini. 

This was going to be a LENGTHY CONVERSATION. “Our clients are loyal to us because we are loyal to them. Inflating your costs is why you are losing clients. This should be common sense. You cannot squeeze everything WITHIN THEIR BUDGETS OUT of them. Venue rentals are a buyers market. As a seller, you need to be affordable and when building your brand, you need to be open to other events and clients outside of solely weddings. Weddings have a season. Off season though, you can promote corporate events, family reunions, birthday parties, Christmas parties and other bookings to sustain you through the off season.” 

Of course, this “intelligent and knowledgeable advice” fell on deaf ears. As a businessperson, if you are a business owner, wake up. I can’t wake you up. I can however shop your venue in my clients best interests and budget. “Don’t ask me for an apple and expect me to bake you a pie.” 

Other vendors ARE NOT MY CLIENTS OR MY PROBLEM. MY CLIENTS ARE MY PRIORITY. If you haven’t figured this out yet, I can’t help you. Loyalty is always directed at my clients not people AKA vendors who are crazily expecting me to BUILD THEIR BUSINESS. 

This morning while organizing my floral arrangements for Michael and Coffield Units Tuesday, I took a call for Salano State Prison in California. 

Our existing bookings in California are stacked meaning finding time to travel to a Unit 6 hours from LA, San Diego, Santa Barbara or even Lompoc (all cities Cindy and I will be at during our trip to meet clients, film commitments and family) is tricky. I ran the distance several times from several cities. 

This Unit is at least five hours from any city that Cindy and I will be at in August. Normally, this could be factored in to an off day during our travels but we have two destination event bookings as well as a family reunion and meeting our sister at Magic Mountain on one day as well as filming a sizzle reel on another in LA. I.E. this is another jam packed trip for the Texas Twins. If I can get to the Unit and find time though, I will. 

Leigh Ann is taking over California Prison Weddings however, she will be based in San Diego August and September while her husband, Alex is in training at the Naval Base before moving to base housing at Point Mugu. 

California like Texas is a big state. Because of this, my stepsister, Tammy is also going to be handling Prison Weddings. 

Due to Cindy and my schedule while in California on this trip, trying to judge distance from cities on our itinerary to the location of the prison may or may not work out for me to personally officiate your Prison Wedding. However, if I can’t, Leigh Ann or Tammy can. I’m moving my bookings to predominantly Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana and Missouri as the majority of my bookings are in Texas. 

Because of the burgeoning schedules of Cindy and I, my son and his wife are also coming on board to address Oklahoma and Arkansas bookings as well as county jail requests in Texas. 

I’m going to go over stacking because it’s essential if you are stacked at a Unit that you are on time. Tuesday, I have two clients at Michael and two at Coffield. These two Units are within 7-9 minutes of one another. Because of this, I frequently move from Michael to Coffield or Coffield to Michael. 

However, if you are running late on wedding day, other clients at the same Unit or the Unit I’m moving to are going to be inconvenienced due to your tardiness. Please be considerate of other clients and arrive at least 15 minutes prior to your scheduled wedding time.

UPDATE ON MICHAEL UNIT CLOTHING- Dresses are now allowed but you cannot wear solid white. Why? Inmates wear white. Please incorporate color or patterns to white. Please keep hemlines not shorter than 2 inches above the knee. Please wear a cami of your dress reveals any cleavage. Please wear a slip if your clothing is sheer.

I’m off to shop venues, meet clients and looking forward to meeting all of our new clients soon at your Prison Weddings and especially excited to see our former clients at your Vow Renewal Ceremonies with Cindy and our Team in the coming months.

As always, we appreciate your trust and your loyalty. We are thankful for the opportunity to meet amazing people from all walks of life and to have the ability to finally spend time together that my career in sales as well as Cindy’s career took from us both for over twenty years. Texas Twins Events gave us the opportunity to give the gift of Dream Events one family at a time while subsequently giving us time to spend with each other. 

For all of the clients that the twins or Maddy jumping into your photos laughed with us, God Bless You. Our grandkids always thought a camera was meant for them. Maddy still does. 

When I look back over the hundreds of families and good times we’ve shared with ya all over the years on location for your bridal photos with my grandnieces hugging your leg or holding your bouquet, I’m reminded what amazing people you are. The love and kindness you’ve brought to Cindy and I as well as our children and grandchildren is a gift. Creating Texas Twins Events was a partnership. Cindy and I knew affordable options didn’t exist. Cindy was also taking on the responsibility of raising her twin grand daughters. Cindy had given up her income as a salesperson to raise her grandchildren. My twin sister is selfless. She is hilarious and she’s never met a stranger. She is also my best friend. Texas Twins Events gave us the opportunity to load up our kids and grandkids and go off to meet wonderful people who wanted a Dream Event. Amazing people who welcomed not only my Team but our entire family. People who became far more than clients. People who became the fabric of our lives. We love ya all… 

TDCJ Weddings- Work, Travel, Clients, Kids & Chaos…

Yesterday while in Palo Pinto County, a comment was posted on one of my Instagram posts. What was it about? The post and photo were updates regarding our upcoming wedding ceremonies at the LA County Jail and California Prisons this August.

Who was this hater? Someone with 2 followers (go figure) and a private account (as usual) who was attempting to redirect traffic to themselves. My first thought? “Get off my timeline!” 

This private account also featured a stock photo (how original) while spewing their arrogance while assuming that his or her (who knows since they didn’t even use their own photo in their previous file) opinions regarding inmate marriage mattered to me OR my clients. They didn’t. 

My clients, my family and I are ALL very happy. Look at the photos kids. My clients AND my family are having non stop fun. We love what we do and who we do it for. We are also having a great time enjoying our new friends while celebrating love, resilience and joy on wedding day. 

Haters are going to hate. In fact, narrow minded idiots unhappy with their own lives will almost always find a way to voice their opinions on others. 

Truthfully though, others don’t care about your opinions. “Prisoners shouldn’t be allowed to marry” among other things in the comment by the person who not only wouldn’t use their real name or photo included the suggestion that “I should get my $hit together and get a life?” Let’s examine this stupid statement and go over the cowardly idiot who posted it ONLY to remove it AFTER reading this blog. 

That’s right, I saw you closed your account after deleting your comment you screwball. First off, inmates like anyone else have the right to marry. Get over yourself. Secondly, I have a very busy life that revolves around my clients and my family as well as my volunteer efforts. You see, unlike you “troller behind a stock photo with a private account,” I give back to my community. 

I also strongly and wholly support the belief that Love Is Love. Get off your computer or phone and stop hiding behind that mask you wear and you might not be so hateful. Get some sun. Get out more often. Get a life. Don’t tell people WITH a life to get one. Get your OWN. Stop spying on everyone else’s attempting to put your negativity on them. You ARE not that important I can assure you. 

At the time this notification came through, I was planning to leave my client in Palo Pinto County and go to lunch with Cindy, Makenna, Stephaney and my son in Weatherford. 

Reading the comment, I had stopped to consider whether or not to be infuriated by a stranger who knew their idiot comment WOULD upset me and finally decided that they weren’t worth it.

Sitting in the county jail parking lot, I also reconsider deleting the comment or responding? This “scenario” has happened a handful of times on Instagram the past few years to my account on instagram. Twitter too although most bullies use email or the phone to give me their opinions. 

The illogical nature of numskulls “reaching out to a stranger” while even thinking or believing that anyone else and especially me cares about “their opinion” continues to confuse me. 

Some folks will do anything to get the attention they can’t based on their own lives. The internet is full of them. Stalkers, trollers, mean spirited and ugly hearted people who would never consider walking up to me to say the things they feel safe saying on the internet. 

News flash for the haters, no one cares what you think. Your opinion to myself or my clients means nothing to us. You are a fly in the soup. A rude diner. You are living a miserable life and want to bring everyone else down with you BUT you can’t. Do you know why? Because you aren’t THAT important. You WISH you were but you aren’t. Bullies never are important. Grow up. I’m sure you’ve heard this before but take heed, trying to run a stranger down might upset your other unknowing victims who don’t check notifications but… I’m not your victim or anyone else’s phony account loudmouth. 

Why would ANYONE out there who isn’t a client or even a family member THINK that THEIR opinion or THEIR beliefs matter to me I have no idea but, these haters have far too much time on their hands. Go volunteer. Adopt a pet. Find something more constructive to occupy your time Pal. Also, unless you are bound to me by blood or business, bug off. 

How do these haters even find my accounts? They search hashtags pertaining to inmate marriage. I.E. they are looking for something to complain about and more importantly someone to target. 

Trolls. People so miserable in their own lives that they want to find someone happy and attempt to ruin their day too. Big surprise trollers, you didn’t ruin mine. I met wonderful clients all week long and even had a great day with family and clients yesterday instead. 

Your opinion is the wind to me. Whispers of animosity spoken by those who have no voice in my life, my businesses or my direction. 

Let’s review something I hear regularly by others who (ironically) “had Religious issues” with my client bases years ago, you know who you are. You troll ALL of my social media. You subscribe to all of my blogs and you can’t believe I’m successful. “NOW you reach out to me to teach you how to do what I do?” You have got to be kidding me. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist and why would people intent on seeing me fail who instead watched me succeed have the audacity to even ask? Trollers. God love em because no one else does. 

Since our inmate wedding business now spans several states. I’m going to address Arkansas and Oklahoma bookings first. There is a process and the process is lengthy. While Texas clients generally wait 1-2 months for wedding day, Arkansas and Oklahoma as well as New Hampshire and a handful of other states wait 6 months to a year to marry. Shocking isn’t it? But, each state is different and each state follows its own set of rules. The process to marry an inmate is lengthy and complicated. Hire someone who knows how to walk you through it. I cannot stress this enough. 

Over the past year I’ve had three clients call me regarding their visitation being revoked. This too is a process to overcome. There are guidelines and procedures censured in place that MUST be followed. You cannot marry an inmate if you cannot visit them. Contact me, we will work through it and get your appeal filed. Everything regarding marrying an inmate is a process. It’s not a process we can control. It is a process we will follow.

Since Cindy and I are traveling to California several times the next few months as well as California, Louisiana, Arkansas and Oklahoma, it should be noted that traveling with teenage twins isn’t for the faint hearted. Do you leave them home with other adults and wait on phone calls regarding chaos at home or take them with you and listen to them tell you they are  bored? 

I’m on the fence about California as it’s a working trip. Other states are generally day trips. Having Maryssa and Makenna out of school for the summer and trying to be entertaining while working requires the skills of a magician. 

Children are cute and hilarious until they become teens. If you are unaware of this, as a parent, you will find out soon enough. “I don’t want to eat there. I don’t like this hotel. I don’t want to sit by her. She’s using the charger and I need it.” 

I could go on and on here but, for our parents spending the summer with their teen children, I realize that I don’t need to. You get it. 

Cindy and I have raised two generations of children. The twins are 14 going on 40 and the youngest, Madyson keeps us laughing with her personality and energy. Maddy’s mom has no idea of how hard her move will be when she leaves her village of babysitters behind to move to California. Maddy has had Cindy and Wendy as well as Maryssa and Makenna to help take care of her. Maddy has had a village. I worry about it.

I’m on site at several venues this weekend and looking forward to meeting new clients at your prison or county jail wedding soon.

For all of our clients working through the summer and trying to be entertaining to their teen children, hang in there, we’ve got a few months of summer left. Ya all can do this…