“JUST because you READ the BOOK, doesn’t MEAN, you UNDERSTOOD the INSTRUCTIONS, experience MATTERS”

In a world full of fluff, there are several “fake it hoping to make it” folks who think padding their resume or “fluffing their experience” thinking this sham won’t be noticed or revealed. They lack not only experience but more importantly ethics. 

People who lie or fabricate to “fluff up” their background are not only insecure but also unethical. EXPERIENCE MATTERS. 

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I had hoped to find an experienced salesperson only to realize that I knew more about the product I was planning to buy than the salesperson did. Unlike the salesperson, I educated myself. 

I’m the type of person who thrives on transparency. I hate smoke and mirrors and phonies. I’ve met many non transparent people throughout my life and can assure you that transparency wasn’t their strong suit.

Like anyone else, I have noticed over the past year that there are a large number of people who have recently been “saying” or “advertising” that they perform prison weddings who either haven’t actually performed a ceremony or have only performed 1 or 2 if any prison weddings.

Last week while corresponding with someone from TIFA, I was told that so and so had performed weddings at Roach Unit. I knew this to be grossly false and advised her of how I knew. The person she was talking about I married myself. The person she was talking about had only performed four weddings in the past year at Allred. The person she was talking about was deliberately lying about marrying anyone at Roach. Don’t pretend to have done something you haven’t. This is a trust based industry. Don’t “fluff up” experience you don’t have! 

For years now, people have contacted me after learning the person they had hired lied to them and wasn’t certified or approved to walk into the Unit. Before you pay someone, verify their credentials. I can’t stress this enough. 

I’m frequently shocked by the number of people claiming to be experienced in this industry claiming to be experts. Lol you fell into performing one Prison wedding and and NOW you’re an EXPERT? Come on. 

Experts have a history. Experts have experience. Experts are seasoned. Experts are educated. Walking into one Unit doesn’t make you an expert. Snap out of it. I’ve walked into hundreds of Units. Hundreds of times. I’m the only Prison Officiant who has not only the clients but also the stamina to perform up to 8 weddings in one day in three cities at 3 Units.

An even larger number of people who don’t know or understand the prison planning process, the rules or how to assist you if there happens to be an unexpected problem during the planning process show their lack of knowledge when a problem pops up by calling me. Don’t bite off what you can’t chew. If you don’t know what you are doing, do everyone a favor and don’t fake the experience or knowledge you don’t have while dropping a dime on me. I’m busy.

“Your MORALS, are LIKE a GOOD set of TIRES, because EVERYTHING you HAVE, is RIDING on THEM.

If you are “trying to get in the Prison Wedding Business” solely for financial gain, here’s a heads up kids, the people you are attempting to market are single income households. Snap out of it. These families have limited income and resources. 

A few people “trying to break into this business” have even had the audacity to contact me (at THEIR convenience) to ask me to train them to do my job. 

A job that they have no idea how to perform AND think ANYONE can do. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist? Short answer? I don’t and I won’t. I care about my clients and their journey. They aren’t just clients they are my friends.

For all of the folks “saying” they perform Prison Weddings out there here’s a great question for you fakers “WHERE ARE YOUR CLIENTS?” How about “WHERE ARE PHOTOS OF YOU OR YOUR CLIENTS AT A PRISON?” Can you perform the task people are hiring you to perform? I can. 

If you haven’t educated yourself regarding marriage law and Unit Policy or Procedure, you are not prepared to be a Prison Officiant and much less a Prison Wedding Planner. Educate yourself. 

Saying you do Prison Weddings and actually DOING Prison Weddings are two very different things. “DO YOU HAVE ANY EXPERIENCE?” If you don’t, you won’t get far in this industry. No experience, no clients and hoping business will fall into your lap? Good luck buddy. You are going to need it. 

This isn’t a role you figure out along the way. It’s a role you learn and prepare for. Clients have questions and you had better have the answers. State or Federal? The rules are different. I know the rules. 

Don’t know policy or procedure? You had better learn it because making a mistake in THIS INDUSTRY could put you on the other side of the bars. I’m being serious. Educate yourself. Not just anyone can walk into a prison. If you are walking into a prison, you had better know what’s allowed or authorized and what isn’t. 

I don’t make mistakes. I’m educated and well versed on every aspect of inmate marriage within every state I conduct ceremonies at. I also KEEP MY PROMISES. Honor, integrity, intelligence and passion are my calling cards. 

For years now, I’ve been the second and even third Officiant WHO GOT THE JOB DONE. Stop pretending you know how to do something you don’t. Weddings ARE LIFE EVENTS! 

The other people taking money for a service they either wouldn’t or couldn’t perform have earned their reputations. READ THAT AGAIN. I said EARNED their horrible reputations and I meant it. My stellar reputation is built on my honesty, transparency, dedication and diligence. I have never advertised or needed to. Why? Because my reputation is built on keeping my promises and holding my clients hands throughout a very lengthy and confusing process. This isn’t a job for the person who thinks their role is simply to show up. 

The role of a Prison Wedding Planner and Approved Officiant involves far more than bothering to show up. I’m a friend, a mother, an advisor, a counselor and friendly ear to my clients before, during and after their Prison Wedding. I’m different. I’m driven. I’m passionate and I’m an identical twin. Cindy (like me) is determined to make your Dream Event a Reality. Together we are a Twin Team that care about you and your journey.The number of people who suddenly say they specialize in prison weddings is hilarious. Why? Because even a blind squirrel can find an acorn and because I perform up to 30 prison and jail weddings a month in Texas alone. If these people are performing prison weddings (as they claim they are) where are their clients? 

I am the ONLY Prison Wedding Officiant who maps out up to 5 Units in 3-4 cities in ONE DAY. You won’t find anyone doing this because 1. They don’t have the clients and 2. They don’t have the experience, drive or stamina to handle a day in my life. 

Now, I’m going to move on to people who can’t seem to book any prison weddings finding other ways to get inside your pockets. First, anyone selling a parole packet isn’t a parole attorney. The Texas Criminal Justice Coalition offers a FREE that’s right FREE parole packet. Here’s the link… How To Write Parole Packets.

Secondly, anyone selling Letters Of Support are mass producing these letters. Do you REALLY think the parole board doesn’t recognize a mass produced letter? Here’s another FREE link regarding Letters Of Support… Parole Letter Support Suggestions.

Moving on to folks selling the Twogether In Texas at inflated prices. WITHOUT the CERTIFICATE I can assure you that you won’t receive the benefits. I don’t sell additional services and strongly suggest taking the course online from a vendor that 200 plus of my clients have used with NO ISSUES! The cost of the course is $29. You can stop and start as often as you like. Only one of you needs to complete the course. You receive $60 off the cost of the license and the 3 day waiting period is waived. Here’s the link… Twogether In Texas Online Course.

Be aware of the fact that you are a single income household. Protect yourself from con artists and con games. I was recently told “so and so sells parole packets.” I’m aware of “so and so” and her BBB complaints. You should be too. Do your research. Ask questions. There are also parole attorneys who have a zero success rate. RESEARCH I cannot stress this enough!

Remember that if someone is telling you something and can’t prove they have experience or worse any success, there is a reason for their failure. The reason is them. 

“YOU can’t LEAD the CHUCK WAGON, if you DONT know how to COOK, experience MATTERS.” 

I’m at several Units this week and available by phone, text or email. I will always answer phone calls and emails within 2 hours. If I miss you after 9PM, your calls and emails will be returned the following day. 

“Every job is a self portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.” – Vince Lombardi 

Patience Is A Virtue When Planning Your Prison Wedding. Timelines, Deadlines, People & Places…

The past week has been one surprise after the other. February 5th I’m at Allred Unit at 12:30 with four brides before literally skidaddling on over to Buster Cole Unit in Bonham at 5:30. Due to this “time crunch” and the possibility of Chaplain Redwine adding on another client at Allred, bridal photos will be taken prior to Unit Weddings at Allred due to my schedule. 

“GOOD things take TIME, and GREAT things take PATIENCE.” 

“Perspiration is the perfume of persistence.” 

Planning a Prison Wedding IS A PROCESS. There is paperwork there can be delays. The timeline isn’t something you or I can control. Contact or No Contact Ceremonies are based on an inmates status. “Contact” refers to the glass separating the inmate from my client and I. 

While Arkansas will allow up to 6 guests and ring exchanges, Texas won’t. 

Arkansas like the majority of my other service states also has a 3 month waiting period and the additional burden of transportation costs to the clerks office. 

Texas clients don’t have this expense due to the use of an Absentee Affidavit removing the requirement for an inmate to be transported to the clerks office. 

Every state is different. Every protocol is different. Knowing the variations is key to getting the job done for me. I am the most in demand prison Officiant in this industry. Why? Because I care and it shows. I have never advertised any of my businesses and I will never need to. My reputation is my calling card. When someone contacts me to perform their ceremony they know that I will be determined to make it as worry free and special as humanly possibly under unique circumstances.

I’m frequently contacted by production companies and reporters. I’m leery of reporters seeking sensationalism and controversy or production companies expecting me to send them my clients. Why? I’m not in the referral business of doing a strangers job for them by “finding and or securing the talent.” If you are casting a prison or inmate based show, your job is to find the talent not mine. 

Last year in March, someone contacted me regarding gaining access to Units as well as finding the talent. This “someone” also sent me an unsigned contract and with my burdened schedule expected me to do his job for him. 

Heads up kids, this isn’t my first rodeo with media or production companies. My focus is on my business not yours. If you are sending me a contract for review, you might bother signing it and understand that I’m not interested in being tied down with rope I’m paying for. What? Don’t try to tie me down with what you want at my expense. I’m busy. I don’t have time for smoke and mirrors or bullshit. 

By the way, regarding access to Units since that “someone” was unaware how to obtain it on their own last March, media must go through TDCJ Communications AND requires consent from the inmate. A reporter traveled with me in August to numerous Units and yes I helped Ella gain access. I know policy AND procedure.

For a few years I have posted flyers for Love After Lock Up on my pages and if my clients are interested, I’ve shared the contact info to producers. 

The producers at Sharp Entertainment unlike that “someone casting  a prison show” last year and expecting me to work for him while assuming I was a hillbilly with nothing better to do than his bidding were by far more professional. The producers at Sharp are straight up about why they are contacting me. What they were asking me to do takes a few seconds to post on social media. Candor and transparency go a long way with me. I don’t have hours to educate someone on policy or procedure. If you are contacting me to do something you are too lazy to do on your own, do more research but don’t piggy back your workload this way Buddy. I operate 4 businesses. I’m on staff at 3 venues and I volunteer as a hospice clergy at Baylor and Harris. I.E. I’m busy. 

My clients are fragile and aware that not everyone can understand or accept their choice to marry an inmate. Unlike my “traditional clients,” these clients are unique, driven, passionate and unspoiled. There aren’t any divas marrying an inmate. 

A few months ago, I met my Goree Unit bride and her sister in Huntsville at the Unit. Surprisingly, the Chaplain met me in the parking area to advise me that the marriage would not be taking place due to the inmate being listed as common law married to someone other than my client. 

The CLM issue continues to pop up. In many cases, a Dissolution Agreement and Verification Letter from the state can and do dissolve this inmate status but Goree wouldn’t accept the Dissolution Letter or Verification Letter. Because of this, I will be marrying my couple outside of Walls Unit. 

The frequent occurrence of an on the fly wedding ceremony at Walls Unit after release might surprise a few people but patience is a virtue. 

My Goree Unit client did have time for bridal photos after leaving Goree devastated about her inability to marry. Cindy and I had a great time with these amazing ladies and can’t wait to see them again in May at Walls Unit.For the folks who assume “people only marry inmates to obtain conjugal visits,” ignorance speaks without forethought. Conjugal visits are only allowed in four states. Read that again. Only four states currently allow conjugal visits, otherwise known as extended family visits, and they don’t exist in the federal prison system. The states are California, Connecticut, New York, and Washington. 

Please stop assuming everyone is marrying an inmate solely to obtain a conjugal visit. Educate yourself and THEN CONTACT ME. 

I am consistently surprised by the number of people posting comments or emailing me with radically stupid or uneducated opinions. If you don’t know what you are talking about, please sit down and shut up. Stop emailing, calling and posting comments advertising your opinions. My clients don’t care what you think and I don’t either. 

Other readers and followers have legitimate questions or concerns such as “Wendy why are you occasionally wearing a visitor badge and other times you aren’t?”  Certain Units issue me as well as my client a visitors pass. In exchange for the passes, our state issued ID’s are on file in the shakedown entry area. 

Our ID’s are returned for the visitor passes when leaving. The level of security often dictates whether or not a visitor pass is warranted. “How did your business shift so fluidly To Inmate Ceremonies verses the traditional client?” Good question and observation. 

Four years ago, my bookings were 85-90% “traditional clients” and scheduled on weekends. Jail and Prison visitation is on the weekend and therefore weddings are scheduled during the week. 

Inmate Weddings PERFECTLY fit my existing schedule years ago. I’m happier at a prison than a venue! Why? Because my clients are amazing that’s why. “How did you get so successful in this niche industry? Can you teach me how to do what you do?” No. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist? Do YOU care about these people and their journey? Are you compassionate? 

If the ONLY reason you want to try breaking into the Prison wedding business is money, this isn’t the business for you. This is a people based industry. By the way, asking someone successful to teach you how to find the success they worked for and earned is the most entitled and narcissistic idea I’ve ever heard of.

“No one has more admiration for a narcissistic person than themselves. Anything not directly related to them isn’t important to them. The only thing good about a narcissistic person is their ability to keep a secret.” Say what? Narcisstic people don’t listen to any conversation unless it’s about them. Hence their ability to keep a secret. 

“Gratitude is the difference between appreciation and a sense of entitlement.”

“Pigs get fed and hogs get slaughtered.” Never heard this farmers term that lays out greed and throat cutting? It’s a true and accurate statement and term my husband’s father told him for years as a child. This quote dates as far back to the 1800’s. Author Unknown. 

“How many of your clients are still married?” From which business? The Pawning Planners, Texas Twins Events, TDCJ Officiant venues I’m on staff at? The total number of divorces from all of my clients in all of these years is 6. 

“I’ve read that you started Texas Twins Events to give others the wedding you didn’t have and to spend more time with your family. Is that true?” Yes it is. Cindy took on raising her twin granddaughters and gave up her day job. Finding a way to spend time together while helping others was the best decision I’ve ever made. 

“Strength doesn’t come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t.” Rikki Rogers

Last night a rather surprising text regarding wearing a costume to a TDCJ Wedding came through. While I would love for everyone to wear whatever they want, it’s something that neither you or I can “choose.” 

Let’s review attire on wedding day once more time ya all. Shoulders must be covered. Dress lengths must be within 3″ from the middle of your knee. While costumes are not directly addressed on TDCJ’s site, I have never encountered a situation where wearing a costume would be deemed “appropriate.” 

Why? Because we are at a prison and we don’t make the rules. Under TDCJ’s visitation dress code guidelines, there is a note that the Unit Captain has the final say. Why is this important? Because even if you are or feel you are within the dress code, the Captain can and will hand you a cafeteria smock if he feels you are dressed out of code. 

Each state has a visitation dress code. Certain states such as Texas allow sandals and flip flops while other states don’t. 

What to remember on wedding day at your Unit Wedding is that the majority of all of our service area states follow visitation guidelines pertaining to your attire on wedding day. what this means is that certain Units have “Allowed” wedding dresses as long as they are within the code. 

Certain Units will not allow wedding dresses. The Unit decides not us. 
On more than one occasion in Texas, my brides have been so closely scrutinized regarding dress lengths and cleavage that it’s best to bring an additional change of clothing “just in case.” Why? Because if someone at the Unit finds fault with what you are wearing, the Unit can insist on a cafeteria smock to enter the Unit. 

Clothing for my male clients has never been an issue. Perhaps because dress lengths vary and low cut shirts and blouses can be deemed “too revealing,” the reasons I address your clothing being an important aspect of our visit to the Unit is to protect you from being handed a cafeteria smock on wedding day. 

No one wants to walk into a Unit wearing a full length long sleeved button front cafeteria smock. 

If you have doubts or wish to have a second opinion about your wedding day wear, please feel free to text me photos.

TDCJ Visitation Dress Code Guidelines… 
Visitors are encouraged to dress conservatively.
Sandals, flip-flops, and open-toe shoes may be worn.
Clothing that is tight fitting, revealing, or made with see-through fabrics shall not be allowed.
Sleeveless shirts and dresses are allowed, but must cover the shoulders.
Shorts and skirts no shorter than three inches above the middle of the knee while standing, capri pants, or long pants are allowed.
Length is not restricted for pre-adolescent boys and girls, generally ages 10 and younger.

Clothing with pictures or language that may be considered profane or offensive by current public standards shall not be allowed.

Note: The duty warden shall make the final decision on whether clothing is appropriate. READ THIS LAST SENTENCE AGAIN. 

Even if you are within visitation dress code, IF A DUTY WARDEN deems your attire “inappropriate,” they can and will hand you a cafeteria smock. If you refuse to wear this item, your wedding will be canceled. 

My first encounter with the “dreaded cafeteria smock” being handed to a client was at TDCJ Torres Unit. My client initially refused to wear the smock. After a visit from the Warden in the shakedown area and a lengthy discussion from me after driving 5.5 hours to the Unit though, my client in fact did wear the garment. Otherwise, her wedding would have been canceled. Remember the Warden signs off on the I60 Request For Inmate Marriage. The Warden can and does CONTROL who CAN marry at their Unit. I strongly discourage arguing with staff at ANY Unit state or federal that I conduct ceremonies at. Your behavior is outlined in my contract. 

My second encounter was at TDCJ Allred Unit. My client had sent a text of the dress she planned to wear to me BUT it was of a model and not her. My client was taller than the model and due to this issue her dress length and the “cut” of the dress wasn’t within 3″ of the middle of her knee. There’s a reason I ask for photos of you in the dress rather than a photo you found online. Allred Unit IS THE REASON. The photo of the model had the dress length hitting BELOW the knee rather than above it. Although her shoulders were covered and no cleavage was visible, the cut on the front portion left a 4-6″ visibility of her knee. Because I had nothing for her to change into, being handed a cafeteria smock literally upset her to such an extent that I had to assist her walking to the visitation area. 

Clothing near misses? I’ve had a few. At TDCJ Holliday Unit, I pulled my brides tank under her tee shirt up in the front and down in the back to prevent her from needing a smock. 

At TDCJ Polunsky Unit, my brides dress was within code in the front and out of code on the back. Why? Hips shortened the length in the back. Even after pulling the slip in the back down for the Duty Guard, the dress was still not within the 3″ guideline. Luckily, my bride had a long sweater that she retrieved to wear into the Unit. Otherwise, she would have been wearing the cafeteria smock. 

While “pushing the limits” regarding the dress code has consistently backfired for a few people that were unaware of a Duty Captain having the final call on clothing, you should know that they have the power, custody and control to decide whether what you are wearing is “acceptable” or not. 

Let’s review how and why I encourage you to send me photos of you wearing the outfit and not a photo of the outfit you found online. A model could be shorter than you. A model could be less buxom than you. A model can have a lack of hips that make the dress appear longer in the back. I need to see a photo of you wearing the outfit to check the length, the cleavage and the back of the dress as well as the fit to ensure it isn’t too tight or revealing. 

At Buster Cole Unit, my bride was told her pants were too tight and revealing. Luckily, I had been to the cleaners and had clothes that would work in my suv. Otherwise my bride would have worn a cafeteria smock. 

If your pants are too tight or too revealing, even pants can be outside the code. 

I’m going to once again revisit that regarding your relationship with an inmate that YOU ARE IN CHARGE not the inmate. Continued correspondence from clients who feel the “inmate is controlling them from the inside” are alarming. Know your worth. Know your value. You are doing it all on the outside and you are doing it alone. 

Leaving Belltower Chapel yesterday, a text from an unfamiliar number regarding “needing a divorce ASAP” came through. Because of this and because my client and not the inmate are my priority, I sent a link for a Pro Se (self filed) Divorce in Texas. 

Based on your income, you may qualify for an “Indigent Filing.” What is this and how does it work? Certain instances and situations qualify for a waiver on filing fees. Remember that if you are self filing your own divorce that you are expected to follow the Texas Family Code. If you need the link from the Texas Bar Association, here it is Pro Se Divorce Handbook Texas Bar Association.

Choosing whether to represent yourself or hire an attorney is a personal decision. Understand though that you will need to follow the Texas Code by filing in the county you reside in. 

I’m at county jails and clerks offices today and available by phone, text, email and DM on FB and Instagram social sites. I do not respond to DM’s on Twitter due to spam and my burdened schedule. 

Life Is A Highway. TDCJ Powledge To Terrell To Connally Unit. Travels Of A Texas Twin..

My week started off with a bang at Tarrant County Clerks Office when I realized that their office was closed. I’m so accustomed to filing weekend licenses on Monday that the clerk being closed didn’t even occur to me. 

Due to Martin Luther King Day, the bank and my safety deposit box containing titles of vehicles I had planned to drop off and transfer at the dealership were unavailable too. 

The bank was closed. The post office was closed. I’m always forgetting holidays because I work seven days a week. My phone never stops ringing. I don’t have holidays. I worked retail for many years and I’m accustomed to only 3 non work related holidays. What are they? Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years Day. 

My “regular Monday routine” was going to take a serious hit. For an OCD person like me, reworking my planned agenda for Monday and rolling everything I had planned to do to Monday to Tuesday was in order. Tuesday would be jam packed. 

Tuesday morning at 6:30AM, I headed to Tennessee Colony. I’m in Tennessee Colony or Palestine at least once a month. There are two Units in Tennessee Colony, Michael and Coffield. A few miles from them are Beto, Gurney and Powledge Units. 

My beautiful bride had traveled from Ohio to marry at Powledge Unit. After weeks of emailing, texting and calling, I was excited to meet her and thrilled that the grooms sisters had traveled with her to the Unit. The sisters waited while we went into the Unit. 

Leaving, I headed to a church a few miles from the Unit. The grooms sisters were also taking photos with me of my newly married bride. They were so much fun! I love it when clients have “travel buddies.” Running back to Fort Worth, I headed to Frost Bank. For the first time in 20 years, there wasn’t anyone available and a line for safety deposit boxes. No worries. I took a seat and returned emails and messages to clients and prospects. I reminded the bank teller “it’s heavy” since two of our boxes are at the top of the vault. 

My husband believes in gold and silver so anyone expecting a “light box” get a real run for the money handing us safety deposit boxes. Also, years ago, my husband “heard” it was a good idea to keep cash in the vault and liquidated several thousand dollars to keep in three different banks. Yep. Matthew is far too anxious to use only one bank and we have four banks. Can’t remember which vault the suv titles are in? Four trips to four banks. Argh. Matthew had split up the titles too. One was on Camp Bowie West the other was on Hulen. 

I still had to get to the post office and county clerks office. Matthew was going to have to handle taking the titles to the dealership. 

Wednesday, I was up at 4AM to leave by 5AM for TDCJ Terrell Unit. Matthew woke up with me although I wish he had slept in. He’s still grieving Foxy. Our happy home is now a shell of its former chaotic routines with Foxy either waking us up, demanding to go outside or wanting food. 

Monday while wondering what I could get done on a holiday, I had a call from VCA to pick up Foxy’s ashes. Walking back in there again was stressful. I didn’t call Matthew about the ashes being ready for pick up.He couldn’t handle it. Foxy was like his son. It was tough for me to handle it to be honest with you. Twenty six hundred feet of no Foxy at WorthamWorld and no “Foxy’s routines” have left our home an empty shell. We still think we hear him. We still think we see him. Fourteen years of Foxy. The adjustment is odd. Difficult. Different.

Driving into the entrance for Ramsey, Terrell and Stringfellow Units, I see the sign Cindy had pointed out on our last trip in black and yellow “Hitchhikers may be escaping inmates.” 

Years ago, a sign similar to this one was the first sign I had seen like this regarding “escaping inmates” near Huntsville. I immediately looked around driving down the freeway wondering how they would manage to escape? It’s so rare for an inmate to escape that hitchhiking would certainly draw attention I would think. 

Twenty plus wenty years ago, I would have never imagined that while others were driving to the office, I WOULD BE DRIVING TO A PRISON. But over the course of the last few years, my bookings have shifted to prison weddings during the week with traditional events on the weekend.

Twenty plus years ago, a sign regarding possible hitchhikers being escaping inmates was “unsettling and alarming.” It isn’t anymore. Why? Twenty plus years ago, I had never been inside a prison and I had never met an inmate. I have now met hundreds of inmates on wedding day. They are courteous and respectful to me. They are people not numbers. They are someone’s son or daughter. They deserve love although many people might disagree.

I am by far safer at a prison than a venue with drunk guests. I have never been in a brawl at a prison. I have been in several at an exclusive venue. Open Bars are bad ideas. I prefer prisons. I prefer the people. Affluent people are unrealistic. People who love an inmate are realistic. They are down to earth and they are determined to make their love story last long after lockup. 

“Do what you love, and put your whole heart into it, and then just have fun.” – Tim Cook

Mary Martin has never touched Lester. She called me to tell me his status had finally changed and for the first time they will have a contact visit. This is a milestone. My clients always share their victories. 

I drive to Prisons 3-4 days a week and have for several years now and I’ve never seen a hitchhiker. I also Officiate far more weddings in prisons than anywhere else these days. I love my job. I love my clients and I love driving down the highway listening to rock and roll music headed to my next adventure.

Last year, Sandy Malone of Wedding Island apparently “noticed” I officiated Prison Weddings and posted that she was against inmate marriages and that “all inmate marriage ends in divorce” on LinkedIn. This lit me up. Why? Because Sandy is assuming all inmate marriages end in divorce when in actuality they don’t. I perform Vow Renewals for nearly all of my former clients previously married in jail or prison after release. I baptize their children. I Officiate funeral ceremonies. I help plan their birthday parties. I’m not a “once and done Officiant.” My clients become a fabric of my life. 

Does Sandy know anyone married to an inmate? NO. Does Sandy even know an inmate? NO. Does Sandy think her bias and opinions matter to me since her post was obviously directed at me? Probably. Do I care? Absolutely not. 

Was Sandy seeking an audience of uninformed supporters? Most likely. Sit down and shut up Sandy. How many of your couples are STILL MARRIED? I bet you don’t know. I stay in touch with my clients. I celebrate their victories and I mourn their defeats. I care about them and their journey.

The American criminal justice system holds almost 2.3 million people in 1,719 state prisons, 109 federal prisons, 1,772 juvenile correctional facilities, 3,163 local jails, and 80 Indian Country jails as well as in military prisons, immigration detention facilities, civil commitment centers, state psychiatric hospitals, and prisons in the U.S. territories. These people have loved ones on the outside. They have families. They have siblings. For many, they also have someone who loves them enough to marry them under fairly extreme conditions. 

Marrying in a prison has rules. Regulations. Protocol that must be followed. Only an Approved Officiant can walk into a state or federal Unit. I’m one of those people. My twin sister is as well. Not just in Texas either. We service numerous states.

While there will always be opinions regarding marrying an inmate, my clients don’t base their decisions on the opinions of others. Sandy’s or anyone else’s for that matter. 

Ignorance speaks without Forethought. Peoples opinions are their luggage and their trip. I know my clients and their story. I stay in touch with them. They are my friends. An extension of my family. 

They love an inmate. They also work, they raise their children and like me they don’t care about “uninformed opinions.” They are resilient, compassionate, educated and determined to make their love story last. 

My bride pulled up beside me at Terrell Unit. I handed her my umbrella. We walked in together. She was nervous and excited. My clients wait months to marry through an lengthy paperwork process. No one runs off and marries at a prison. State or Federal. The policy and procedure put in place are followed fully. Marrying an Inmate isn’t a “spontaneous decision.”

We wait for the groom to be located for over an hour. I learn my client met her fiancé at Daniel Unit. I learn she’s so nervous that she’s nauseous. The wait furthers her anxiety. The Chaplain keeps us entertained but my bride is wondering aloud “where is he?” When he finally walks in, her anxiety melts like the butter. She’s relieved. Her moment has finally arrived. I find a painted wall. The cage in visitations bothers her. I will move them to ensure the cage isn’t visible intentionally.Leaving the Unit, the rain continues to pour as my client follows me until I find a location for her bridal photos. I unload a few options for her to choose from.

I always let my clients choose their favorite bouquets and other items. I also always bring a wide variety of inventory.

Driving 5.5 hours back to Fort Worth, I’ve got another 5AM departure for TDCJ Connally Unit. 

The rain stopped just outside of Waco today. My drive to Garza East or West, McConnall or Connally almost always involve a broken windshield. Today, I got lucky. I also encountered a missing road. No broken windshields. No road? No problem.All of our vehicles are 4wheel or all wheel drive. My role requires getting anywhere and I do.

Amber parked beside me and we walked in. 

Walking into visitation, I see a painted wall and ask “if we can go outside?”Amber is thrilled to finally be married. I sign the license and we wait on photos before walking out. I follow her to a park and unpack my veil and let her choose a tiara and bouquet. I love the location she chose.I ask if Amber is hungry as I know I’m facing a nearly 6 hour drive home and want to buy her lunch. Amber tells me that we can run by her job at Pizza Hut and have the salad although I know I’m going to have at least one piece of pizza. 

Together Amber and I drove to her restaurant, Pizza Hut for lunch. I learned a lot at my first job at fifteen years old as did Cindy. Cindy and I had taken a job at Pizza Hut together. We were hired as waitresses and were never trained. Instead, we were stuck in the kitchen washing dishes. We learned that managers lie. We also learned to say no. Amber loves her job and her coworkers. They made her a beautiful dessert pizza with cherries and whipped cream in the shape of a heart. Amber also insisted on buying my lunch although I determined to try and buy hers. 

We have a wonderful visit talking about our families and our lives. Ambers coworkers swing by our table and visit. I’m in a loving and supportive restaurant of happy employees and frankly I’m not a hurry to leave either. I’m having a great time and I’m thankful for the opportunity to meet amazing people like Amber and all of my clients.

Amber and I had laugh as I tell her about Cindy and I walking out of Pizza Hut in our bras. Why? Because we were hired as waitresses not dishwashers and after a month at our first job making waitress wages of $2.17 to wash dishes one Friday night with Cocaine playing on the jukebox, these Texas Twins told our manager “pay us minimum wage or put us on the floor.” The manager told me to go wash dishes. We told him we quit. He wanted his shirts. We took them off and threw them at him. 

I’ve had miserable managers. Fifteen years old and our first job was working for an idiot who thought we would work for waitress wages forever so he “could have twin dishwashers for the price of one” was idiotic on his part. Telling the cook who in turn told us since we were unaware that dishwashers were paid double waitress wages in Texas was eye opening. We were unaware of this. Even today all of these years later, waitress wages in Texas are $4 and change. 

That manager expected us to stay because we were wearing company shirts was also an underestimation of our ability to remove them. 

Pizza Hut wouldn’t be the first time in my life a manager took advantage of me but, I don’t work for anyone anymore. I work for myself. I don’t HAVE TO WORK. I work because I enjoy my job and love my clients. 

Arriving at Pizza Hut today, there were cheers for my beautiful bride. There was joy. There was laughter and there was Pizza. There was friendship and there was fun. 

The best decision I’ve ever made was walking out of Pizza Hut. A month later, a scout for Mel Tillis chose me from behind the cash register of Whataburger for five commercials filmed in Texas. I was sixteen years old. The rest is history.. 

Some people stay far away from the door

If there’s a chance of it opening up

They hear a voice in the hall outside

And hope that it just passes by.

Billy Joel

The Goodbye Makes The Journey Harder Still. Road Trips, Rest Areas, Rental Cars And Working It Out…

With my schedule having an suv down is and can be frustrating. I drive 1-3k miles a week to not only Texas Prisons but also Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Missouri for county jail as well as prison weddings during the week and on weekends to destination bookings through Texas Twins Events. 

I drive a lot because flying is expensive and a burden to clients which is why I stack surrounding state bookings that require air travel. 

Every two years, I flip out of at least 2 SUVs into new SUVs. Why? I cannot afford to have problems getting to Units that’s why. I don’t take chances and hope for the best. Instead, I plan for the worst and have never not been on location due to mechanical issues of our vehicles. I’m ocd. Oil and maintenance are regularly addressed. 

The best tires are an investment. I don’t skimp when it comes to driving 12-16 hours a day in a vehicle. You can count on me or my staff to be on site ALWAYS. Getting there is one of the most important elements of our role for your prison or jail wedding. Rest assured, we WILL ALWAYS be on site and early. 

A few months ago, I put $1200 into tires on the Santa Fe and less than a month later, heard a tapping noise. Damnit. Engine problems are why my husband spent his Saturday flipping the Santa Fe for a 2020 Jeep Sahara. Black on black. I always drive black vehicles. The Nissan is being flipped for a Grand Cherokee. 

My husband hates buying new vehicles but not nearly as much as I do. I don’t have the time or the patience to deal with the finance department or the sales manager. We don’t finance vehicles. We write a check. 

Get the exact vehicle I want and give my husband the keys. It’s easier all the way around. No one has time for tire kicking in my family. 

Yesterday, the exact vehicle I wanted took my husband to four dealerships. Cindy and were in Austin. Today we are in San Antonio. I am picky about features. I’m in our vehicles all day everyday. Because of this finding the exact vehicle with under 10k miles wasn’t easy. I need four wheel drive. 

The Santa Fe was the first and last Vehicle I will own that didn’t have AWD. The Enclave lasted three months with me. Why? It couldn’t U turn. Thanks to Navigation Lady, U turns occur frequently and if an suv can’t turn on a dime, I’m out on it. 

Getting to my safety deposit box Monday is also out. Why? Martin Luther King Day. I’m at Powledge Tuesday. Terrell Wednesday. Connally Thursday. Parker and Palo Pinto Friday. 

My husband will have to run to the bank and drive the titles to the dealership to transfer ownership for me. As usual, my schedule prevents me from doing this myself. Goodbye Santa Fe. You lasted EXACTLY 2 years. 

My husband and I discussed giving the Santa Fe to Cindy and giving Cindy’s Outlander to the twins. Makenna starts driving school in February while Maryssa hasn’t even started the written portion. Since the Santa Fe had a tapping noise, we are going to move Cindy into the Nissan Rogue and move the Outlander to the twins. 

My husband gave Cindy’s husband the Toyota Tundra for Christmas when he flipped out of it and into an suv. Steve loves the Tundra. My husband and I usually flip our other vehicles to family but that tapping was going to be a problem maintenance wise and why I traded it in. I can’t have anyone on my team driving a vehicle with mechanical problems. The risk isn’t worth it. 

I don’t like trucks because they don’t suit my needs. I move people and inventory. My son loves his 4X4 truck. It’s also black. 

With my daughter in law’s Jeep and our other suv in the shop, it was back to Enterprise. I considered buying the Sahara from Enterprise but the only one they had was in Pennsylvania that fit my criteria. 

The fee to move it to Texas? $1200. Why spent $1200 when I could find find the same vehicle in Texas? Hence my husband’s Saturday of setbacks. As usual, Matthew commented “it would have been easier to buy the Jeep from Pennsylvania. Next go round, I will. I need a martini. Lol. 

Matthew hates buying vehicles but Wendy hates it more. Lol. Matthew is also still grieving the loss of Foxy though and keeping him busy while Cindy and I were out of town gave him something to do. 

Like me, Matthew drives a lot. He has several developments going on that require him to drive and check progress at. From meeting the builders to discussing issues to shopping for lots, Matthew is out of the office frequently. Today though he’s in the office transferring money for the checks he wrote at the dealership yesterday and viewing lots in Azle. 

The vehicles you will be looking for myself, Cindy, my son, my daughter in law or my niece to be driving will be black. Text us when you are on site at the Unit. 

Regarding Valentines Day requests, we are booked solid and cannot add on any new bookings on this date. I have a Vow Renewal with my Luther Unit bride in San Antonio February 15th so that date is occupied as well. 

FMC, FCI and FBOP clients and inquiries…my credentials are on file and it’s best to have the facility contact me for scheduling. Please do not assume you know my schedule and agree to a date without contacting me to confirm.

Leigh Ann and Maddy will be in Florida for a week in February so if you aren’t a confirmed California booking, be aware of her travel in February and limited availability. 

Cindy will be in Florida in March and unavailable in Texas. 

My son and his wife are taking off and not taking on new bookings through April due to the expected arrival of baby Hafele March 3rd. 

I currently have 32 clients on my roster in Texas awaiting dates. Because of my heavy schedule, we will once again revisit why I limit new bookings. The Prison Wedding Planning Process takes approximately 4-8 weeks from the inception to wedding day. Because I have existing clients who roll over into the following month, I limit new bookings. 

If you have talked to me, emailed me or messaged me on social media, you HAVE NOT booked my services. I require a contract and retainer. 

The consistent use of my name and my credentials to obtain date without FIRST obtaining and securing services and effectively line jumping booked clients will not secure my services. 

Be aware that I can and will contact the Unit and cancel an Approved Ceremony for anyone who HAS FAILED TO FOLLOW BOOKING PROCEDURES. 

Pertaining to a TDC I60 Request For Inmate Marriage, you are required to book services FIRST be aware of this. I can’t be everywhere and limit new bookings to ensure my availability for booked clients.

By the way, if you are sending me a connection request on LinkedIn or friend request on FB, please don’t pitch me marketing or advertising. I do not advertise and have no need to market new clients. 

Attention ALL clients and inquiries… if you call and hang up without leaving a detailed message, I WILL NOT return your call. I’m busy and don’t have the time or desire to call back everyone contacting me who fails to provide a message. Leave your name, the Unit, your question and the best number to reach you. I will return your call within 2 hours. 

Emails after 9PM are returned the following day.

Arrive a minimum of 15 minutes early on wedding day. 

Call, email or text if you have additional questions or concerns… 

In A Society That Has You Counting Money, Carbs And Steps, Be A Rebel And Count Your Blessings…

We are all fighting our own battles. Many of us want to be thinner. The majority of us want to be wealthier. For my inmate wedding clients though their wish is to be together. Separated by glass, isolated with loneliness, exhausted from long drives to the Unit and expensive phone calls it should be noted that loving an inmate requires tenacity, dedication, resilience, strength and stamina. Big journeys begin with small steps. The Prison wedding planning process is a series of steps. 

I have several clients on my books who will not have the luxury of a contact wedding. It’s something neither they or I can control. Why? An inmates status warrants contact or non contact ceremonies. The glass is a permanent fixture for “lifers.” It’s also present for a G4 or G5 inmate in Texas. The glass can be broken on the base or edges from the fist of an inmate who became angry. Such cracks or marks bother me. I always wonder why or how someone became angry at a person that drove miles to a visit? Usually, I’m bothered to such an extent that I ask the officer to move the inmate to another cube. If the glass is dirty, I also request a move. It’s a wedding and I want everything as close to perfect as I can get it ESPECIALLY if the ceremony is non contact.

The phone won’t work or the inmate cannot hear me? A request to move. Correctional Officers are always helpful and pleasant to me because I’m respectful to them. No one likes the glass. We accept the things we cannot change.

Contact weddings are structured. Two closed mouth kisses. Hand holding. A brief embrace.

The variations of contact or non contact are the ability to touch. Non contact ceremonies are bittersweet. There is no kiss to seal the deal regardless of what state or Unit I happen to be at.

I was driving from Huntsville to Livingston Tuesday when someone from a production company called me. This isn’t unusual. Not knowing anything about my beliefs and compassion regarding my clients? Also not unusual. 

People “find me on the internet.” Whether they are reporters or production companies though the one thing they have in common is lack of research. You don’t know anything about me or my journey and yet you want to pitch me on a show concept or idea or interview me at YOUR convenience? How convenient. 

Last year, I was sent a message on Instagram during the height of wedding season by someone claiming to be casting a prison based show. This person was fairly demanding and assumed that doing his job for him at his convenience was “my luggage and my trip.” It wasn’t. 

I demanded a contract. The contract gave me everything I asked for. What? Stay tuned because this guy was a Charleton, a chameleon, a con artist and an opportunist. Chris and his phony contract were a first for me. I’ve been in the entertainment industry since I was a teen. It’s tough to shock me. Chris did. He also didn’t sign this “contract.” 

Why was he playing me? Because trying to find people in a relationship with an inmate is difficult. They are a very private group. They don’t trust strangers and over the past few years, I’ve been contacted by Love After Lock Up to find people interested. 

Unlike Chris though, Love After Lock Up producers were not demanding of my time or leading me on with a carrot. I had asked my clients if they were interested and shared the producers information to them rather than vice versa. A few of my clients have even applied to Love After Lock Up. 

Chris wanted my clients and was attempting to use me as his gateway to get to them. He was willing to fabricate a phony contract to do so. My dislike of liars is well known. 

Chris thought he had found a hillbilly in Texas to do his job for him. At his convenience and at his demands. A contract giving me the moon and the stars he didn’t bother to sign? Check and double check. During my busiest window of the year, Chris wanted me to find him the talent he couldn’t find on his own. Humph. I’m not a paid talent scout. I’m also not a casting producer. What I am is a very busy person who works seven days and week and doesn’t have time for smoke and mirrors or bullshit. Chris was full of all of the above and consistently demanding. 

I wasted a week of my life last March answering his phone calls, texts, and emails. During the same window, I was scheduled to marry Mary Martin to Lester Butcher, orchestrate a camouflage themed wedding and 9 other events. 

The worst time for a casting producer or journalist to “hit me up” is “in season.” Chris and his unsigned contract became an email suggesting that if he cast any or one of my clients for his “show,” he would pay me $1k. Sure he wouldn’t. This email offer was sent to replace the previously emailed unsigned contract. More smoke and mirrors. I blew him off after a week of being told my clients weren’t pretty enough or interesting enough. 

Chris was picky. So picky in fact that his prison based show never came to fruition. Go figure. His promises of fame and fortune to my clients behind my back through Instagram messages are why I no longer tag anyone. 

The last thing my clients need are a carrot on a stick or false hope. I protect my clients from “industry people” attempting to use them, their story or their journey for their own tag lines or log lines. These people are already fragile. These people are like my children and need to be protected from anyone “leading them on with promises of fame and fortune.”

Casting producers are always looking for “the talent.” It’s their job not mine. My job is to protect my clients. 

At about the same time last year that I was contacted by Chris, Elena Lindemans contacted me. Unlike Chris, Elena was straightforward and honest. I met Elena in Houston a few months ago with Cindy. Her project is far more interesting to me. Why? Because she’s passionate about sharing love stories of pen pals and women married or planning to marry an inmate. 

A few months ago, Jannette with the BBC contacted me. Cindy and I Skyped with her regarding a show concept. We discussed frankenbiting and creative editing. We discussed why protecting our clients and their journey is important to us. I also discussed the fact that a large percentage of our clients are LBGT and asked about whether documenting my diverse client base would involve clients from not only inmate bookings but also bartering bookings and traditional bookings? Why? Because stateside production companies think our diversity is “controversial.” To whom?

Cindy and I liked Jannette off the bat as we did Elena. Honesty and candor go a long way with me. 

Everyone is looking for a story. A pitch. A concept. Aside from Elena and Janet as well as investigative journalist, Ella who spent the day traveling to Units with Cindy and I a few months ago, finding anyone willing to accurately describe ourselves, our clients and our determination to make Dream Events a reality for anyone isn’t easy or cut and dry.

For our clients being contacted by a “producer” or “director,” we encourage you to ask questions before sending photos or sharing your story. Protect your heart and know that there are people who will pitch you who are credible but there are others who may tell you what you want to hear while leading you along with a carrot. Know the difference. Don’t believe everything you hear ladies and gentlemen because Chris was the first person I’ve ever encountered who was willing to send me an unsigned contract and believed I was dumb enough not to question it. Chris underestimated me. 

I’m more than a little familiar with both contracts and liars who will use anyone to get what they want. Ask who has the green light? Which network? If someone tells you they are casting a show, don’t take their word for it. 

Protect yourself from wolves in sheep’s clothing because I can assure you that not everyone contacting you or even me are “casting a show.” Many of them are pitching a concept that may never get picked up and are wasting your time. Chris wasted mine…

Rolling Down The Road. Estelle To Holiday To Polunsky. Love Is Like Oxygen…

Leaving my office at 7:30AM yesterday to head to TDCJ Estelle Unit, my dog Foxy Wortham was still not feeling well and like my husband, our growing concern over whether or not Foxy will ever recover after his last round of vaccinations has caused emotional anxiety. Foxy’s quality of life has continued to decline and we are now topping $5k on vet bills to keep him alive. At what point do we make the difficult decision as to whether or not to put Foxy down I have no idea as he’s been a part of our lives for fourteen years now and my husband becomes emotional even discussing the matter with the vet. 

My heart was heavy leaving a crying husband behind in Fort Worth. Matthew has taken on the role of President at McBee Homes AND more importantly, additional responsibilities at work. Having Foxy become ill during this window certainly is bad timing of sorts because as anyone realizes job changes are stressful. I’m returning Foxy to VCA Thursday after a morning wedding at Lindsey State Jail. Each visit to VCA “starts at $1200 for blood work and additional tests.” My husband, Matthew is unconcerned about the cost. He is concerned about how “with our schedules we can continue to hand feed Foxy and administer medication?” He has a point. Hiring a pet nanny Foxy is unfamiliar with has been an escapade in futility.

Arriving at Estelle Unit, I call Iris. Her daughter answers. Iris is already inside the Unit in the main building. Estelle has two buildings. High security and the main building. I’ve officiated weddings in both. 

Iris had sent me a message about bringing her two year old daughter late Tuesday evening. Panicking since I was driving to three Units alone and had no one to sit with her daughter who wouldn’t be allowed inside, I sent a text to my 2PM Holliday Unit bride to ask if she could sit with the child. This might surprise a few of you but I knew my bride was in Huntsville spending the night and about twenty minutes from Estelle at her hotel. 

My clients are amazing, loving and an army of warriors who know how difficult finding childcare on wedding day can be. I wasn’t at all surprised that my Holliday Unit bride immediately volunteered. 

A few minutes later though, Iris sent a text that her adult daughter would be joining her and could watch the two year old while we were inside the Unit.

Walking into Estelle, I hoped the rain would stop. Rain is the one thing that causes problems for my mini photo shoots. On more than one occasion, I’ve used hotel lobbies “on the fly.” 

Iris looked beautiful in a blue dress and sexy multicolor shoes with a spike heel. I haven’t worn high heels in years but always admire a beautiful shoe. 

As we waited for her fiancée to be escorted to the visitation area, Iris placed her house shoes under the bench and I walked into the wardens office to pay for three unit photos. Bringing an additional pair of shoes into the Unit for the long walk back to the parking lot was a smart idea. I always pack several pairs of shoes and sport coats when I have a multi Unit day myself. Why? Because each wedding is special and by changing my clothes and shoes I’m walking in fresh too. 

A few months ago while traveling from Tennessee Colony Units to Holliday Unit to Polunsky, an investigative journalist was traveling with Cindy and I. Ella “noticed” my habit of changing jackets, jewelry and shoes and asked me about it. I explained that getting wrinkled and “travel worn” from one Unit to the next was and is why I feel more comfortable “freshening up” to meet my next client.

The groom was excited and nervous and walked towards Iris and I. The moments I spend sharing my clients precious ceremonies are heartfelt and memorable.Leaving Estelle, I have Iris follow me to the Texas Prison Museum to meet Jarzmeine for bridal photos. I’m driving one of our Jeeps and have loaded a wide array of inventory.Because I’m leaving Holliday Unit to head to Livingston and meet my 5:30PM Polunsky bride, taking bridal photos of my Estelle and Holliday Unit brides at the museum works better with my tight schedule. Leaving the museum, Jarzmeine and I have time to grab lunch at Chili’s and buy a to go strawberry cheesecake for Jarzmeine to enjoy on her drive back to Louisiana. 

The Unit is running a few minutes behind which “cuts into my timeline” to accompany Jarzmeine to the Walker County Clerks Office to file her license.After going over the certified license and how to send it to inmate records, I hug my beautiful new bride in the parking lot of TDCJ Holliday Unit and pray she travels in Grace.

Driving on to Livingston, I take a call from a production company. Let’s review how researching me prior to contacting me is going to save us both a lot of time. First, I started Texas Twins Events to make Life Events affordable. Any event. Any client. When it became apparent that a small group of clients couldn’t afford to book in a traditional manner, I merged Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create a barter option, The Pawning Planners. I do not judge anyone. I do not ask why anyone is incarcerated. I welcome diversity and have neither the time or patience to educate someone who hasn’t researched me, my life, my clients or my business. I have 5 websites and encourage anyone contacting me to review them prior to “pitching me.” Here’s the list Texas Twins Events. The Pawning Planners. Texas Twins Treasures. Texas Twins TV. TDCJ Officiant.

Arriving in Livingston, I text my bride to meet me at an abandoned gas station. There’s a lake near Polunsky that works great for bridal photos.We headed to the Unit following the photo shoot. My bride and I walked into the shakedown area together and waited on our visitor badges.

The groom had memorized his heartfelt vows as had my bride who had written hers just in case she became too nervous to remember them.

As I pulled out of Polunsky Unit for a long drive home, my full day of 3 Units and 3 amazing brides was spent sharing their joy of finally marrying.

Arriving home at nearly 11PM, my husband has waited up on me with Foxy. Our dog was declining and I knew it. Matthew knew it too. Sadly a miracle for Foxy wasn’t going to happen. He had been refusing food and water. Foxy knew he was dying although we refused to accept this reality. I wish the vet had prepared us for this but instead we were given false hope. I have no idea why. More meds. More treatments. We danced to the routine of hand feedings and hope. Records of the next medication. Carrying Foxy outside to relieve himself. We expected a miraculous recovery. We expected too much.

I had scheduled an appointment to follow up last weeks with VCA for Thursday after I returned from a morning wedding at Lindsey State Jail. Because my Allred Unit Client was in the hospital with bronchial phnuemonia, a reschedule at Allred freed me up to take Foxy in today rather than Thursday. Since December 23rd, Foxy had been steadily declining. Foxy had bladder cancer. I heard something while in my office signing contracts yesterday and found Foxy unable to stand. I picked him up and headed to VCA early. Foxy died in my arms resting his head on my husband’s lap. 

Cold Feet, Warm Hearts And Fresh Starts. The Prison Wedding Planning Process Begins Again…

Last August, just a few days before Eric was confirmed at TDCJ Crain Unit to marry, he called me to advise me that his bride had changed her mind about marrying. 

This was surprising but not as uncommon as you might think. Why? 1% of inmates change their mind about marrying after being given a date to marry. Not the person on the outside but instead the person on the inside? Yes. A number of factors may be the reason for this change of heart but generally months or even years later, the inmate changes their mind to follow through with the wedding which is exactly what happened with Eric. He called to advise me that they were ready and the planning process started over again. 

Eric is a really nice guy and I know he will make a great prison husband. We’ve had long talks about the struggles husbands and wives face from the outside. 

Marrying an inmate is a commitment not to be taken lightly. The expenses and loneliness of being married to an inmate require stamina and finances. From expensive phone calls to long drives to the Unit to putting money on the books, my clients on the outside do it all and they do it alone. Single income households struggle to make it all work but they do. 

Strangers and even other clients ask me frequently “why would these other clients choose to marry an inmate?” This question is better directed at my clients than at me. They know what they are in for and they accept the terms. 

For years now, I’ve had strangers email or even mail me when they aren’t commenting on my posts that “they don’t believe inmates should have the right to marry or they don’t believe in LBGT marriage.” These narrow minded folks assume their opinions matter to either me, my staff or my clients. They don’t. 

Our clients make the decision to marry. Our clients hire my staff to handle the planning and the ceremony. By the way, I have never had a problem on site at an LBGT event OR inmate wedding. No rude guests? No drunks? No idiotic demands? It’s a fact that the majority of our favorite events and the clients weren’t “traditional bookings.” Instead, the best times we’ve had on location are with LBGT clients, inmate clients and bartering clients. This unique and diverse group of clients are not only thankful for our help but also courteous to my staff, our children and grandchildren. Keep your opinions. Opinions aren’t our luggage and they aren’t our trip.

When Cindy and I decided to start an Events business, our goal was to make Life Events affordable to ANYONE. Rebranding and expanding to offer bartering shocked folks but reaching ANY economic level required tenacity, creativity, dedication and drive. 

The Pawning Planners opened a window that effectively “created an opportunity for low income families who couldn’t afford to pay for services to trade for services instead.” 

Love knows no bounds and whether my client is marrying an inmate or marrying outside of the confinement’s of a prison or jail, the variations of their commitment are often surprising to outsiders. 

“PEOPLE that FEAR the STORM, have NEVER lived THROUGH a DROUGHT.” God Bless Us All. 

While one bride wants a room full of flowers with the perfect music and the perfect venue, another bride is sending me photos of what she plans to wear and asking me if it’s within the visitation dress code. There are no divas marrying an inmate. There is no one who has “been dreaming all their lives of marrying inside a prison or jail.” 

My heart is with clients marrying an inmate rather than with the demanding divas who want perfection. I become their mother, their friend, their confidant. The Prison Wedding Planning Process is lengthy, confusing and extensive. It’s not uncommon for me to talk to clients throughout the planning process as well as after the wedding. Our relationship lasts long after their event. The majority of my inmate bookings rebook Vow Renewal services upon release to celebrate their love story with friends and family. They now have the cake, the guests, the music, the dress and the joy of life after lock up.  

I’ve been in this industry many years and I’ve also met all and worked with all types of people from diverse backgrounds. The drama and chaos of “traditional weddings and brides demanding it all or being unreasonable” isn’t exactly a “good time on location for me or my staff.” 

I’ve worked large events as a Planner and Officiant for up to 300 guests. I’ve been on site when brawls have broken out and arrests were made. The number of times I’ve also been interrupted by dip shit “guests” attempting to object during my ceremony is staggering. Who invited THAT guest? 

You could easily say that I’ve seen it all at this point of my career in the events industry because quite frankly, I can’t think of anything I haven’t seen. From the commando guest in a short skirt that had one too many and her high kicks on the dance floor creating a “memorable moment” to the groom stuck in the patio lights during the traditional “toss” to the witness literally running from a bride after effectively voiding the license by scribbling out and changing her address not knowing the consequences of her error would infuriate the bride who was unaware that I could fix the issue by filing an Amended License until she allowed me to explain, the chaos and crazy moments could easily fill a book. 

Cindy and I are “the fixers.” Experience and knowledge are important. A videographer suggested putting an emoji over “the flasher on the dance floor.” I insisted on him editing the video. 

I’m picky about who I choose to work with now. I’ve had people change their date to accommodate my schedule too. If you want it all and don’t want to pay for it though, you are wasting my time as well as your own. Move along. I’m busy. 

By the way, if you are at a wedding to object, you shouldn’t be there and if you are trying to interrupt my ceremony, I’m going to make an example of you in front of other guests and then escort you out myself. Sit down and shut up. If you can’t, stay home. 

I no longer work “over the top events” for “people who found me on the internet” regardless of what the prospective client is willing to pay. Why? I don’t have to. I prefer the intimacy of inmate weddings and the joy of Vow Renewals with previous clients instead. There are no drunks. There are no divas. There is no drama. 

From The Tardy Party Bride Who Lied in order to obtain a police discount to The Bouncing Checks Broken Tooth Bride to The Banjo Playing Ex Boyfriend Who Got The Boot, not only I but also my team have had some surprising things happen on location. All of these “surprises” were with traditional bookings. 

The Tardy Party Bride was over an hour late to her own wedding and could not provide credentials for her discount either. 

The Broken Tooth Bouncing Checks Bride wrote not one but two hot checks. While attempting discuss this matter on location, I was asked to glue her tooth. My finger became glued to the Broken Tooth. No good deed goes unpunished. My medical expenses for the damage of my finger proved that. The bride never did make good on her Bouncing Checks or her Broken Promises.

A Fort Worth Stockyards wedding without adequate security found me knocked over a table. Wrong place wrong time or wrong clients unwilling to take my advice? Open Bars are bad ideas. Nearly every time an event has had an open bar there have been problems on site.

Since returning from California, my dog Foxy has been in and out of the vet. One of our SUVs has been in and out of the shop. The beat goes on. Business and family are an everyday mix for me.I juggle clients from venues, Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners and Prisons as well as Jails in numerous states. I regularly turn down inquiries for large events or someone wanting an Elvis Impersonator. I’m not an impersonator. 

“REALITY checks, aren’t GIVEN, with INSUFFICIENT funds.” If you want an Officiant, Planner and Impersonator, I can find one for you but get ready to pay for it. 

Impersonators are expensive. I’m not opposed to dressing up or wearing themed clothing within reason but if you want me to swivel my hips wearing Elvis attire, sorry buddy you’ve got the wrong person. 

Last year I bought camo clothing after being asked by my client for a Pawning Planners Event. This was a first since I’ve never owned anything camouflage in my life but, my bride REALLY wanted me in camo to officiate so… I worked it out and found an outfit.

Working as a planner for ONE CLIENT and spending months addressing their every whim when I can easily plan and officiate up to 20 weddings a month instead? I will take the 20 happy clients over the one problem client any day of the year. No amount of money is worth dealing with a Diva to me. 

I don’t enjoy spending months listening to spoiled brides who “want it all”  who don’t realize that they “do not have the budget for all of it.” Princesses or Bridezillas don’t understand that everyone has limits even me. Let these folks tie someone else down while expecting them to pay for the rope because I’m too busy for Demanding Diva’s. 

Years ago I took on problem clients but those days are gone forever. No more  miserably counting the days to their event down for me. No thanks, I have happy clients and a good time now. No divas. No demanding mothers. No midnight phone calls about what they want that they haven’t paid for. Goodbye and good luck to them. They are far too much work. 

I’ve met plenty of Diva’s and I’ve learned they take up far too much of my time AND my patience. Time is money. Experience matters. You learn where your time is better spent. I did. It’s well spent with people who matter. Ask anyone in sales how much time and money problem clients cost them if you don’t believe me. I can assure you they will be quick to enlighten you. 

At an event a few years ago where the client had hired an Officiant, you can imagine my shock when her mother called to tell me “you have a team. We want two photographers, help with caterers and a set up and tear down team. I’m going to need you on site for eight hours.” 

Stunned, I skipped a beat before replying “an Officiant is on site for an hour. You have not paid for two photographers or a set up and tear down team or assistance with catering. Lady, I’m going to give you a wake up call and a bill for WHAT YOU WANT in order to WAKE YOU UP.” That lady was an arrogant idiot. If she planned on having volunteers for her daughters wedding at MY expense, she apparently couldn’t read or understand my contract or both. I don’t work without a contract.

 I’m really good at saying no listening to surprisingly stupid suggestions, demands or desires from “entitled idiots” who think they make the rules. I’ve had plenty of experience. You want 10 people on site for 8 hours when you’ve paid for 1 person on location for 1 hour? Come on! Pull out your checkbook or put on an apron and serve the food yourself or find your own “volunteers.” 

The Tardy Party Bride and her posse literally pushed me to the limit. Yes, even I have limits. Thirty phone calls, text messages and emails were sent to me after that fiasco of a wedding and after being lied to. In part due to her harassment, I sued The Tardy Party Bride. We were on Hot Bench in 2015. I had filed the suit in Tarrant County. After being contacted by the show, we both agreed to fly to California. The episode? “Don’t Call Me Bridezilla.” Don’t act like one and I won’t. I won the case. I always “overprepare.”

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” Abraham Lincoln

If lying in order to gain a financial advantage for yourself seems “okay to you” here’s a heads up, it isn’t. Also, late fees are listed in my contracts. Why? Because I’m busy that’s why. Your tardiness affects my timeline.

Being a diva on wedding day and forcing your guests and your vendors to wait over an hour is selfish. 

If you aren’t active or retired military, fire, police, first responder or a teacher, don’t lie to me to benefit yourself by receiving a 20% discount you aren’t entitled to. That’s called Theft Of Services. The Tardy Party Bride was a Bridezilla. She not only lied to get that discount but also refused to come out of the dressing room for nearly an hour and a half on wedding day. Her tardiness affected my ability to be on time and on site with three other clients the same day. Her anger regarding my request to view her credentials? Priceless. She didn’t care that her tardiness had a domino effect to my schedule or my other clients. Selfish people never do. 

Weddings are Life Events. Regardless of where the wedding takes place. I spend a large amount of my time traveling from Fort Worth, Texas to locations hours away. Traveling is a very important aspect of my role.  Monday, I’m back at Green Bay Unit and Parker County Jail. Tuesday, I head out early to Huntsville to begin my day at Estelle Unit at 11:15. From there? Bridal photos and lunch before heading to Holliday Unit at 2PM. Bridal photos with my client will follow before driving to Polunsky and meeting my last client in Livingston, Texas at 5:30PM. It will be another 13-15 hour day of driving for me. Two cities. Three Units. Three clients. One day. Next week I have 7 clients in 4 days alone. Huntsville and Livingston Tuesday. Iowa Park Wednesday. Jacksboro Thursday. Lamesa Friday. Traditional bookings take place on weekends.

I’m always asked about why I offer bridal photography or why I invested in creating an extensive inventory to loan our booked clients for their events and photo shoots, the photos of my happy clients speak for themselves. 

Bouquets, furs, tiaras, fascinators and more? You bet! We bring a trunk load of our Texas Twins Treasures inventory to all of our events. Not just 1 or 2 bouquets but up to 10? Absolutely. Our clients often bring friends or family to their photo shoot and we make sure there are enough bouquets, bouteniers, tiaras, fascinators, furs and fun stuff for large groups. 

My staff and I are dedicated to making Dream Events a reality to such an extent that I add to our inventory year round and have even loaned clothing to clients who asked. I want your day as special as you are. Finding time to squeeze in mini photo shoots with clients on a multiple booking date is tricky but worth it. Clients often tell me that their photo shoot was the best part of their day.

Wednesday I’m in Iowa Park at TDCJ Allred Unit.

Thursday I’m in Jacksboro, Texas at Lindsey State Jail.

Friday I meet two clients at TDCJ Smith Unit. Raymon and Jeremy have waited months to marry. Raymond and Jeremy are also the first male LBGT couple I will marry in a Texas Prison. I’ve married several female couples in Texas Prisons but male couples are rare for reasons I don’t understand. Outside of prisons, a large portion of my clients are LBGT. For the first few years of Texas Twins Events, nearly all of our clients were LBGT. My affiliation and support of the community is well known. My clients are also my friends.

I look forward to finally meeting Eric in person at TDCJ Crain Unit. Like Eric, I believe a happy ending of a new beginning awaits him. Prison Weddings are Rainbows In The Dark…

Why An Unsworn Declaration In Texas Is Insufficient And Cannot Be Used In Place Of An Absentee Affidavit…

Every few months I run into someone telling me “the law library said they won’t notarize an absentee affidavit and that he or she should use an Unsworn Declaration.” Well folks, an Unsworn Declaration will not be accepted by the county clerk to purchase a marriage license. 

Explaining the necessity of a notary to law libraries continues to be tricky but stay calm. Why? If an Unsworn Declaration is insufficient, a notary request will be granted. However, remember that explaining why the Unsworn Declaration is insufficient is necessary in order to get that I60 Request For Notary Approved. 

Most often, the clerk is new or unaware of the necessary documents needed in order to obtain the marriage license. 

Many of our clients in other states wish they could use an absentee affidavit. Why? Because the expense of transporting an inmate to the clerks office is a tremendous financial burden. 

Only Texas allows the use of an Absentee Affidavit to obtain a marriage license. The absentee affidavit “explains the absence of the other party.” Traditionally, both parties are required to be present to purchase a marriage license. The Absentee Affidavit removes this requirement. 

Let’s review what inmates are and aren’t allowed in terms of law library and notary access… 

NUMBER: DATE: PAGE: SUPERSEDES:

BP-03.81 (rev. 4)

August 21, 2019

1 of 17

BP-03.81 (rev. 3) December 15, 2017

RULES GOVERNING OFFENDER ACCESS TO THE COURTS, COUNSEL, AND PUBLIC OFFICIALS

IV. Notary Public Services (page 8)

A. Documents: Under both federal law (28 U.S.C. § 1746) and state law (Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code § 132.001), offenders incarcerated in Texas may use an unsworn declaration under penalty of perjury in place of a written declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit sworn before a notary public. Documents will continue to require notary public service if they are destined for another state or country requiring notary public service, notarization is requested by an attorney, or they are specifically exempted from the laws on unsworn declarations.

B. Scheduling: Offenders may request notary public service by submitting an I-60 to the unit ATC supervisor. Offenders requesting notary public service shall explain why an unsworn declaration will not be legally sufficient. Requests shall be acted upon, either denied or provided, within three business days of the receipt of the request.

The absentee affidavit specifically states that Unsworn Declarations will not be accepted… 

INSTRUCTIONS FOR COMPLETING AN ABSENTEE AFFIDAVIT PLEASE READ CAREFULLY

The Absentee Affidavit is to be completed if an applicant is unable to appear personally before the County Clerk to apply for a marriage license. The other applicant may apply for a marriage license on behalf of the absent applicant.

The affidavit will be denied if both parties desiring to marry are not in full compliance with the information that follows. The absent party must complete every blank and sign the affidavit. 

In addition, the absent party’s signature must be acknowledged and notarized. 

Photocopies or faxed copies will not be accepted. Unsworn declarations are not accepted. Read that again. UNSWORN DECLARATIONS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. 

1. Print or type all information that is requested on the application. No white-out or obvious alterations will be accepted.

2. The names of both parties must be printed or typed EXACTLY as they appear on the identification that will be used to obtain the marriage license.

3. With the exception of the other applicant, a person may only act as a proxy if they are an adult, 18 or older, and the absent applicant is unable to attend the marriage ceremony and is a member of the armed forces of the United States stationed in another country in support of combat or another military operation.

4. There is a 72-hour waiting period immediately following the issuance of the marriage license unless waived by a court order or proof of active military status.

5. The marriage ceremony must be conducted within 90 days from the date the marriage license is issued or it will expire.

6. An acceptable form of valid, government issued picture identification must be presented by the present party with one of the following for the absent applicant:

-Certified copy of birth certificate. -Valid driver’s license.

-Military id.

-Valid passport.

-Naturalization papers

PHOTOCOPIES OF ID ARE NOT ACCEPTED. NO ALTERED DOCUMENTS AS PROOF OF ID WILL BE ACCEPTED.

7. The absentee affidavit expires 30 days from date of signing.

Because I’ve been traveling the past few weeks for Destination Events in California, our office was closed during the holidays and I’ve been trying to catch up on emails, DM’s and mail as well as questions regarding law libraries and the Unsworn Declarations. Generally, I answer emails sent between 6AM and 9PM every few hours. If you are emailing or direct messaging me after 9PM, I will answer you between 6 and 7AM the following day. Running from airport to airport and event to event, it should be noted that if you don’t hear back from me within an hour, I’m on location with another client. 

Please be patient as I have clients for not only inmate Officiant services in several states but also clients from Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners and venues that I’m on staff at. 

Returning your calls, emails, texts and DM’s as soon as possible is important to me but, I work seven days a week and travel nearly everyday. If it’s been a few hours and you haven’t heard from me though I’m either on the road, on location with another client or on a plane traveling to another client. You can rest assured that I will get back to you as soon as possible. Many of you have asked about transportation to your event. A&M Transportation offers transportation and I know her well. She is based in Houston though. If you are based in Dallas and seeking transportation, I have several current and former clients that drive for Lyft or Uber. 

Occasionally I use a driver myself but my driver, Kevin has been with me for twenty years now but he isn’t inexpensive. His rates run from $90- $120 an hour with a two hour minimum so I would strongly suggest finding another option aside from my driver such as A&M, Lyft, Uber, or Greyhound. 

My booking fee does not include your transportation to the Unit. Sorry. I’m based in Fort Worth and cannot commit to picking up and dropping off clients because they have no transportation. 

Meaning.. I cannot drive to your location then to the Unit then back to my own location for free. No one can. My fee is based on distance from my location to the Unit. Please be aware of transportation to the Unit being at your own expense.

I’ve been asked about stacking Units. This frequent occurrence generally happens in other states due to travel expenses. By stacking several clients, my travel expenses are equally distributed to make services affordable in other states. It would be incredibly expensive for me to fly to Ohio for one Unit wedding and due to my schedule and existing clients also unworkable.

Occasionally in Texas, I can move from Unit to Unit on the same day based on the distance between Units. If I can’t and I’m already booked at a Unit on the date given, a reschedule is warranted. I can’t be in two places at the same time. I limit bookings in order to keep a flexible schedule. If you haven’t retained services and used my name to obtain a date and are calling me after the fact, I will contact the Unit and reschedule. I do not bump existing clients for anyone not following my booking procedures. Period.

Bridal or Groom Photography is offered as a courtesy to prison or jail clients only. Texas Twins Events and Pawning Planners Clients pay for photography. Why? Because inmate wedding photos are taken by me after or before the ceremony with my rolling photo booths and are mini shoots taking 15-30 minutes. Traditional bookings and photography require 1-3 hours on location and an hourly fee. 

Many Texas Units offer photos at $3 each. I will buy three Unit photos. If you wish to purchase more, bring $3 for each additional photo.

Jail weddings also require an absentee affidavit. Jails do not have law libraries. Mobile notaries are at the clients expense. Obtaining your marriage license is entirely at your own expense. 

If you wish to take the Twogether In Texas Course, the fee is $29 for an online class and I can send you the link. This course waives the 3 day waiting period and discounts the marriage license by $60 but you must present the certificate when buying the license. 

“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” –Dolly Parton

A group wedding is a group of different couples marrying at the same time in the same place. 

For me, as an Officiant, traveling back and forth to various states would be unduly cumbersome to my schedule and also financially not feasible to my clients. Because of this and the fact that many states only allow inmate weddings 1 or 2 days a year, performing a large number of weddings on the same day dependent on the number of couples involved also doesn’t always work. 

When does a group wedding work and why am I familiar with group weddings? Years ago, I began performing group weddings due to the many people wanting to marry after the Supreme Court ruling. The start of group weddings for me began then. 

I was the first openly LBGT friendly events vendor in Texas. While other vendors were hiding in the closet fearing retaliation, I was one of the many front runners championing same sex marriage. Frankly, many of my friends had waited a lifetime to marry and died never having the chance. 

I have worked in the entertainment industry for a number of years and subsequently had many friends who were LBGT. 

A lifetime of discrimination was endured  by many LBGT couples. They had no rights to insurance or even burial decisions of their partners. They had no tax breaks. 

Many years before the Supreme Court ruling, my friends Charles and Dewitt who died of cancer without the benefit of insurance from his partner of forty years, Charles was working long after emphysema prevented Dewitt from working. 

The loss of Dewitt’s income combined with his medical expenses and the inability of Charles to add Dewitt to his insurance crushed Charles who would never see the day of LBGT weddings becoming legal during his lifetime. I’ve seen the tragedy of couples who were committed to each other but could never be legally committed for years before the ruling. In fact, I published numerous blogs warning LBGT couples to obtain legal documents for their own protection which included a Body Disposition Affidavit. Without it, loved ones and partners were effectively skipped over by the next of kin to make burial decisions. Probate Courts didn’t recognize non legal unions. Survivors were stripped of community property as well. 

Charles and Dewitt are only one example of a couple who never had a chance to benefit from the health insurance or tax breaks of other “traditional” couples. Their lifestyles were often frowned on. Charles and Dewitt were twenty years older than me and longtime friends. 

For my friend, Charles, I also was occasionally the “beard” at formal social events acting as his “date.” Why could Charles and Dewitt not be seen as a couple? Because back in those days, their partnership would have never been accepted. In fact, cat calling and other types of discrimination or whispers were “normal” to Charles and Dewitt. They felt forced into accepting being treated differently.

As a child, it wasn’t uncommon for someone to refuse to wait on my family. Why? My grandmother was light skinned while my grandfather was dark skinned. In the 60’s, such unions were publicly frowned upon. Many of my family members are “mixed.” 

Dewitt’s family never accepted Charles. Charles was never able to help Dewitt who had no health insurance. After Dewitt’s death, Charles faded away. His own health deteriorated. Rarely I was still able to get him out of the house to go dinner with me at my country club but, his heart was broken. Less than a month after Dewitt’s death, his family went to the home of Charles and Dewitt and ransacked their combined possessions. Charles did nothing because he was powerless to stop Dewitt’s family. 

Charles was unable to make burial decisions because Dewitt and Charles both were unaware of the necessity of a Body Disposition Affidavit and Power Of Attorney. Because they weren’t married, Charles had no legal rights to make burial decisions or keep community property belonging to Dewitt. 

If I sound biased, it’s because I’ve seen far too much in my lifetime. I’ve heard whispers about my friends. These whispers were almost always from self professed Christians frowning on purple unions or alternative lifestyles. A few of these naysayers were my own family members. They didn’t “approve of my friends or clients.” I didn’t approve of their opinions. This rift between certain family members didn’t affect my belief that everyone deserves to find love and have love. 

I’ve also had death threats sent to my office over the years from people who had read about me in the Dallas Morning News and had strong opinions about my rainbow clients. I had choices. I chose to be open to anyone when I began Texas Twins Events. 

These haters underestimated my passion and determination. I could have been bullied into changing my businesses if I was a weaker person but I’m not. I don’t see differences in my clients. I see people. People from every background. People from every lifestyle. I welcomed diversity. 

People who know me are well aware of the fact that my life has never been easy. I left home with my twin sister at 15. We’ve been homeless. We’ve been poor. We’ve struggled and we’ve learned compassion and empathy firsthand. How? Our childhood lacked both. 

My mother was a heroin addict and my father didn’t want to be burdened by four children. We didn’t ask to be born. We were somehow “always in the way.”

Bounced from relative to relative. Abused at a young age, my sister and I chose being homeless at 15. We have never regretted our decision. 

For the first few years of LBGT marriage being legal, I performed group weddings on the courthouse steps in numerous cities. Why? I couldn’t be everywhere at once. 

For the first few years officiating jail weddings, I would literally bounce from one cubicle to the next at county jails. 

For the first few years of prison weddings, the hate mail and death threats I had endured after the Supreme Court ruling returned. I wasn’t intimidated. Instead, was infuriated. 

Who the heck were these people who believed their opinions or beliefs affected my clients? Stay tuned and buckle up for one TDCJ client who was SO OFFENDED that I perform LBGT marriages that she effectively fired me last year and is the reason that EVERY WENDY WORTHAM website blatantly displays BOTH LBGT and Prison Wedding Services. 

If you are on any of my sites and don’t realize this you are either blind or illiterate. 

One TDCJ Prison client took up a lot of my valuable time. I had talked to, emailed and texted her for months before she “realized I was LBGT friendly.” I reworked all of my sites through my developer specifically to prevent anyone else wasting my time again.  You didn’t know I perform inmate weddings or LBGT inmate weddings or biracial weddings and you have a problem with my other clients? Get lost. 

My time is valuable and spent on people worthy of it. I operate four businesses and I’m on staff at several venues. I’m also a consultant for GLG and a volunteer hospice clergy. I work seven days a week and have a very tight schedule. 

I regularly turn down large events due to drama and chaos. I don’t work because I have to. I work because I want to. I service several states including Texas as my home base. 

I don’t advertise and I’ve never needed to. If I’ve spent months walking you through the very complicated process of marrying an inmate, I’ve dropped whatever else I was doing at the time you called, emailed or texted me. Your questions or concerns were important enough to me to do so. 

If another client from a venue I’m on staff at or who is booking through Texas Twins Events or The Pawning Planners “has an issue” with my Prison or jail or LBGT client bases, I FIRE THEM and have for years now. 

Had I known that one TDCJ client “had an issue with my other clients,” I would have cut her loose early and spared myself her opinions and the justification of her opinions upon “realizing” that I married same sex couples. 

Experience is a great teacher. I’ve learned to direct my time and talent to only those who are worthy of my attention. I’m selective about who I work with. I prefer one on one weddings but I’ve performed many group weddings in numerous states when my schedule and the clients income prevented me from flying here or there for one wedding and one set of clients. 

I have flown to another state with my staff many times for one client but the client could and did pay for travel expenses. It’s rare I book large events out of state these days due to the time involved. When I do, the client was a referral. I always try to stack other clients in the same states to defer travel expenses. But, this requires other clients waiting or willing to change their date. 

Recently, a number of my prison clients were shocked to hear that I’ve had YEARS of experience with “jerky clerks.” I was on the news over an over again in Texas during a “wild window county clerks refusing to issue licenses to same sex couples.” I orchestrated picket lines and personally walked my intimidated clients into the clerks offices throughout Texas. I was angry that so many couples who had waited so long to marry couldn’t get a license to marry because clerks paid to issue licenses refused to do so “for religious reasons.” What the? I refused to accept this as a wall. If you are paid to perform a function and refuse to perform that function, quit or for goodness sakes do your job and leave your religious reasons BS at home. You work for consumers. Your job is to issue marriage licenses. It’s none of your business if the couple are LBGT or someone is planning to marry an inmate. Zip up your opinion. Review the documents and issue the license buddy.

For years prior to the ruling, my team and I traveled to states where same sex marriage was legal to accommodate our clients. I’m not shy. I don’t have a problem voicing my belief that love is love either. If people have a problem with my clients, their opinion is of no concern to my staff, myself or our clients. 

Charles and Dewitt were forced to hide their love story. My clients are my friends. Prison or Jail clients are thrilled to marry too. They don’t care about opinions. They have a love story. A journey. A story to tell.