Tag: TDCJ Officiant

Posted on

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” Stephen Covey

I’m always concerned when on of my clients sends me a text or DM that reads “there’s something I need to talk to you about. Are you busy?”

I always drop everything to immediately respond to messages like this because I can feel their sense of urgency.

I’m everyone’s mom. I’m always available to my clients seven days a week from 8AM-9PM.

Other vendors who follow me are often surprised that my role by far surpasses planning and officiating a ceremony.

My role expands and extends to that of a friend, counselor, problem solver and patient listener.

Karen had been concerned about what to do after realizing her fiancée was involved with K2. This problem isn’t isolated to Karen. This problem is spreading through prisons. I listened to her concerns and waited for her to express her wide range of emotions and disappointment before responding.

First, I needed to help her understand her own needs. Second, I needed her to establish boundaries. Third, I needed her to reinforce these boundaries. It’s not easy dealing with an addict. Fourth, addicts are expert manipulators and Karen would need to stop sending money. It wouldn’t be easy for her to do this. Why? Because she’s been sending money for a long time. She’s been doing what she can to support an inmate that she plans to marry.

Setting boundaries is often difficult to do. Dealbreakers always are. You need to know what’s “too much” for you. You need to find that line and establish it. I knew the inmate would be angry regarding Karen taking a stand. But my client is my focus not the inmate. I always put my clients needs and issues as my primary concerns. They need reinforcement. They need a sounding board. An unbiased listener. They need me.

The words to an Elvis Presley song immediately came to mind regarding inmates not getting what they wanted and getting upset about it.

“You know I’ll be your slave if you ask me to.
But if you don’t behave
I’ll walk right out on you. If you want my love then take my advice and treat me nice.”

We had a lengthy conversation. The following day after much grief, Karen sent me a message that she felt better about her decision although it was a difficult choice. Saying no always is. The person you are saying no to will react in a number of different ways. First, they will often use guilt. Second, they will often use anger. Hold your ground.

I’ve also had numerous clients in a number of states contacting me regarding debt collector calls. When the economy tanks, the collectors come out. Zombie debt and third party lawsuits are real. Respond to collection letters. Call me if you need help writing a verification or validation letter. Respond to a lawsuit by filing an answer. Your answer should be General Denial. Most of these lawsuits are third party debt buyers. They buy the debt then pursue the debt. The debt is often time barred from a lawsuit. To alter this, the collector establishes a new account on your credit report. This effectively re ages a previously time barred debt. I need all of you ESPECIALLY if you have ever had a defaulted debt to be diligent. Check your credit reports. Fight erroneous entries. Freeze your credit. If you don’t know how to respond to a debt lawsuit, contact me but don’t hide from a debt collector. They will find you. Erroneous debt and unscrupulous debt collectors have been around for many years. They use threats and coercion to attempt to bully you into making a payment or an agreement. These will reopen and re age the original debt. Don’t fold. Contact me.

Yet another client contacted me regarding a death row inmate and wanted to know “what’s going to happen?” First, I know you haven’t done this before. Stay calm. Nothing scary is going to happen. I will be by your side at all times inside the Unit. I will walk you through exactly what’s going to happen as well as exactly what you can or cannot do. I will prepare you. We are in this together and you will never be separated from me inside a Unit unless you need to use the restroom.

We have twenty minutes. I encourage you to write your own vows to extend our timeline. Why? My ceremony takes 11-13 minutes. Once finished we are hustled out. I encourage you to write poetry, scripture, vows and even song lyrics to “buy” an additional few minutes inside. Why? We’ve spent months getting to wedding day and I want you to savor every second.

Song lyrics can often be changed or altered easily. Badfingers Day After Day works well. “I remember finding out about you. Every day, my mind is all around you. Looking out from my lonely room, day after day. Bring it home, baby, make it soon
I give my love to you.”

Or, Al Green’s Let’s Stay Together works well too. “Let me say that since, baby, since we’ve been together. Loving you forever is what I need. Let me, be the one you come running to. I’ll never be untrue.”

There are so many song lyrics that perfectly fit an expression of love that can be easily incorporated into a wedding ceremony that the list is endless.

Tuesday morning I had a call regarding “music at the wedding ceremony.” We cannot have music at any wedding ceremony within a detention facility. Whether it’s state, federal, ICE or county. This request comes up rather frequently. Once client at Estes was so determined to have music that she asked me to sing. I’m not a hip hop singer but I did my best. My best brought riotous laughter from the inmate and the correctional officers but if it’s important to you I will try to accommodate your request. Remember though that I’m not Beyoncé.

Bridget sent me a message regarding finding an RV park near Palestine. I immediately thought of my other client, Larissa who manages an RV park and sent her a message to link Bridget and Larissa. Larissa also told me her grandmother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, her father had suffered a heart attack and her beloved aunt whom I had met on wedding day in Beaumont was struggling with blood sugar issues during this pandemic. I was deeply saddened and concerned. Everyone is struggling through this unprecedented and troubling virus. It’s changed the way we live. It’s robbed us of structure, predictability and peace.

Many of my clients are so anxious about this “new normal” that I’ve been asked about coping strategies. Because many of my blog followers might have missed my post on FB, I’m copying and pasting tips for dealing with stress and anxiety during this pandemic below.

From helplessness to hopelessness we are going through something entirely new and foreign to us. This adjustment is a learning curve. Everything changed for us in a short window. Things we took for granted were taken away. Finding peace in a time of crisis can be challenging.

Some individuals are being heavily impacted by physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, trouble sleeping, and changes in appetite. Stress affects everyone differently.

Others may find cognitive symptoms to be a greater stressor resulting in difficulties recalling memories, problems with concentration, inability to control negative thoughts, ruminating on the same thoughts, and having trouble seeing any positives.

These anxiety symptoms are the body and mind’s natural response to rapid adaptations in your familial, work, financial, and emotional environments. It is likely that they may get better with time as you adjust to your “new normal,” but you can immediately use the strategies below to help manage anxiety and other difficult feelings.

1. Separate out worries into productive and unproductive actions.

Worries can be turned into productive preparations and cautionary behaviors like taking vitamins, stocking up on essentials and food, refilling medications, and so on. It is equally important to prepare mentally. You can stock up on your favorite reading materials and calming scents like lavender; make time to socialize through phone, video calls, online gaming; and in your downtime engage in a hobby or interest you enjoy.

When you find yourself worrying about something you have no control over and can’t convert into a positive preparation, it is helpful to “shelve” that thought, or let it go completely.

2. Make a visual list of coping skills and keep it readily accessible.

In times like these, you might find your typical ways of coping don’t cut it, and you need even more tools and strategies to turn to. You may also find your mind is overwhelmed with information and new adjustments, so you forget the things that used to come more naturally to you.

First, make a list of the things you do already and have done to manage stress and remain calm. Here are some ideas to get you started: therapy, talking to a friend, exercise, prayer, reading, meditation, yoga, creative activities, positive self-talk, cooking, gardening, journaling, deep breathing, listening to music, household projects, spring cleaning, meditation, puzzles/games, playing with your pets and kids, and doing something nice for someone else.

3. Challenge negative thoughts.

Chronic stress is often the result of negative thought patterns. Individuals who focus on and replay negative thoughts find the experience to be unpleasant, counterproductive, and in some cases resulting in depression. Challenging irrational, negative thoughts can allow you to change them by learning how to examine the validity of the negative thoughts and learn how to interpret situations using a different perspective.

4. Limit your exposure to anxiety-producing news and information.

It is important to stay up to date with new information but it is just as important to make a deliberate choice to read or watch the news. Refreshing your social media feeds throughout the day, or keeping the news on in the background, is overwhelming your senses and your ability to pay attention to other needs for yourself and your family.

Trust that you can get what you need in a few structured and limited times when you check your news sources. It is especially important to limit/monitor the way your children are receiving news about the virus. Stick to reliable sources and perhaps block people temporarily on social media if their reactions are increasing your negativity or anxiety.

5. Practice a daily mindful activity.

The bulk of the fear attached to anxiety comes from the anticipation of a future threat. Many people will catastrophize what is coming and have trouble separating assumptions from facts. Practicing a daily mindful activity places a focus on the now and not the future. This is done by separating feelings from judgments and focusing on things that are true and are occurring now, not what might happen.

Pick one thing you do daily and let your senses attend to that one thing — like brushing your teeth or making your morning coffee. When your mind wanders off, bring it back gently to your activity. A daily meditation practice can also help you be more mindful. Tara Brach and Christopher Germer have wonderful free meditations available online.

There are also many apps to help you start or build upon an existing practice (Headspace, Insight Timer, Buddhify, Calm). Additionally, you can hear my guided meditations for free on Spotify and Google Play (Unwind: Guided Relaxation, by Amy Vigliotti).

6. Talk about it, write about it, let it out.

There is a common misconception that talking about anxiety makes it worse because it encourages people to think about what makes them anxious. The reality, however, is that people who experience anxiety experience it whether they talk about it or not. Research has found that expressing anxious thoughts can help individuals feel as if they are getting those negative thoughts “out of their system” and/or diminish the intensity of their feelings. You can express your thoughts to trusted friends/family, keep a journal, or write them on notes to then be discarded later.

7. Pay attention to positive events.

Picture yourself walking outside on a day where there is a mix of clouds and blue sky. In times of unusual stress, we all have a habit of focusing on the negative—the “clouds”—and missing the blue sky. If we ignore the blue sky, we make things even harder on ourselves.

You want to balance your consumption of “negative” news by reading and attending to positive events. There are always positive things to focus on even in times of great duress. We see fitness instructors giving online free workouts; neighbors lending a hand to elderly individuals; health care workers prioritizing the care of others in a selfless manner. And there are little things we can be grateful for as well: a hot shower, our morning coffee, a smile or text from a friend. If you want to take it a step further, you can be a positive change in your community. Doing something nice for someone else makes us feel good too.

We are all going through something we have never been through before. This pandemic and the uncertainty caused by it are stressful. Whether you are an essential worker or a parent now homeschooling and working, your life has changed to a “new normal.” This new normal is temporary but it is an adjustment. Take time to focus on yourself during this crisis.

Adjusting to and accepting change is different and often difficult for everyone. What works for one person might not work for another. Find a strategy that suits your individual needs. From a long walk to listening to music to visiting a friend to writing a letter to your loved one to buying a candle, what helps you relax is what will work best for you.

Because I haven’t been taking deposits for the past two months and effectively not formally booking new clients, I’ve made adjustments to assist new inquiries who may have had their marriage license expire trying to marry. Deduct $40 from the cost of your second marriage license to help you with expenses. I’m not taking deposits because I believe my clients need to keep their money during these uncertain times. You are single income households. Many of you are single parents. I want you to take care of yourselves as we wait out the reinstatement of visitation.

Booked clients are being mailed checks for 1/2 of the replacement cost of their marriage licenses for two months now. I want everyone to wait to buy that second license until we are sure that we can use it. Be patient as this too shall pass. I will get you married.

As always I’m going to remind everyone not to panic. If you need a friendly ear I’m always available and want you to know that you are not alone. We are all in this together…

Posted on

“Is The Nightmare Really Black Or Are The Windows Painted?” Elton John

For two months now I’ve waited and hoped for good news while praying that this virus would leave as quickly as it came. I’m not alone. The news is so depressing these days.

From anxiety to depression Covid-19 has set the world on edge. For inmates the fear of dying is valid. For loved ones of inmates worry and concern go hand in hand.

There isn’t any good news these days. Gloom and Doom fill the internet, news and media.

Finding hope amidst hopelessness is no easy task. In fact it’s similar to searching for a needle in a haystack.

My hometown of Lompoc, California is saturated with Covid cases. The COVID-19 time bomb ticking inside the Lompoc prison complex since late March detonated in dramatic fashion this week as the federal facility confirmed 912 open cases among inmates and 25 cases among staff. The outbreak remains the largest in any federal prison in the United States.

The rest of Santa Barbara County has reported 475 total positive cases.

My sister, Tammy called me alarmed, worried and concerned about filing for unemployment. It’s something neither I or my sisters have ever done before.

Tammy has worked at an upscale restaurant in Buelton since she was 19 years old. Everyone in our family learned the value of working at a very young age. We didn’t have anyone to “fall back on.” Instead we had each other and strong work ethics.

There are three things that I remember most about Lompoc every time I roll into town, the prison, the base and the flowers. Lompoc is known as the valley of the flowers. Tammy never left Lompoc.

Many of our relatives stayed in Lompoc but Cindy and I had no real choice about leaving. Our mothers mother adopted Tammy.

Our father loaded up Cindy, Jerry and I and left our hometown and everything familiar to us behind.

I thrive on structure and predictability. My reasons are based entirely on my childhood. Nothing was predictable. Bounced from relative to relative my siblings and I were often unaware of where we would be from one day to the next.

Cindy has stayed in the same house for nearly twenty five years so her daughters and granddaughters could attend the same schools. Structure is important to her too.

My son attended private school so moving wouldn’t change his structure. I drove him thirty minutes to an hour away until he was able and old enough to drive himself.

I wanted my son to go to school with the same friends. Predictability and structure during his school years were very important to me. Being the mother I didn’t have was never easy or inexpensive but worth my effort and attention.

I wanted predictability for my child I had never had for myself. Cindy and I both shared the same importance of stability for our children that we had never had as children ourselves.

Cindy and I broke the chains of our broken childhood. We changed the outcome for our own children and grandchildren. We gave them the childhood we would have wanted for ourselves. It was entirely a joint decision.

Cindy and I have both raised our children and grandchildren together.

Mothers Day is always a hardship for me. It’s a day of gloom and doom even in the best of times. I can never understand why our mother made the decisions she did.

Further I cannot under any circumstances send a sappy card about what a wonderful mother she was. None of my mothers children can. We struggle through every Mother’s Day fighting to remain positive. Pretending we have a normal family. Knowing we don’t. We never have. We never will.

Our mother broke our family. She exposed all three of her daughters to predators. Addicts and “friends” of hers who took advantage of her children often right in front of her. We had no one to protect us. We had no one who cared enough to step up or step in.

My depression each and every Mother’s Day occasionally takes me several days to put away.

Posts from happy families celebrating their mother. Internet “tips” for making this Mother’s Day perfect for your mother. The best way to treat your mother to a wonderful holiday based entirely on the sacrifices she made for her children. Ugh.

Cindy and I switched up this Mother’s Day ooh la la stuff when our children were old enough to realize we prefer to treat it like any other day and treat our kids to lunch and a movie or a trip to the casino. Our older kids are in their 30’s.

Cindy’s twin grand daughters often buy gifts for her and I while shopping with my husband or their Papa. They don’t understand why Mother’s Day is a dark day for us.

The twins don’t know why their MiMi’s dread the yearly phone call to our mother to wish her a happy Mother’s Day while secretly wondering why we continue to keep up this “faux celebration” of a day that reminds us over and over again that we never had a real mother. We never will.

Monday while scrolling FB and waiting on the police to report my fathers truck stolen, I saw a post from Naquitia about Mother’s Day that grabbed my attention. She was hurt that her children hadn’t bothered to do anything for Mother’s Day. I was relieved my son hadn’t. Why rub it in? The day of the year that kicks off my yearly reminder of having absent parents is Mother’s Day.

Don’t even get me started on Father’s Day. Ugh from the frying pan straight over to the fire. Tit for tat. “You wouldn’t be where you are without me.” Really? I’m where I am because I learned that in order to keep from starving I would need to work my ass off. I don’t “owe” anybody. I’m well off and live comfortably. I don’t have to work. No one gave me financial security. I earned it.

By the time I slap myself together enough to put Mother’s Day behind me it’s Father’s Day. You get the point.

Anyway, I’ve been driving by my dads house for two years. What am I looking for? Broken windows. Signs of an intruder. The usual. I had driven past when I noticed his truck was missing. Ugh. Now I had to have a conversation with my dad BEFORE Father’s Day to “update him that the truck was missing.”

My father and I have a very strained relationship. My father never forgave me for hiring an investigator to locate my mother in my 20’s.

In fact most of my fathers side of the family and even my brother were angered about it.

I wanted answers. I really wanted an apology. I got neither. The same day my mother met me in exchange for $1500 she was in a debilitating car accident that she would never recover from.

I was so shocked by my meeting with her that I lost the opportunity to tell her what a shit she was. Why couldn’t she lie and say she was sorry or that she wondered what had happened to us? Why couldn’t I express my anger? I was dumb struck at her cold responses while she counted my money.

I would never have the opportunity to “say what I really think” to my mother. She has no memory of what she put her four children through. I believe she knows more than she lets on but challenging this fact would upset my sisters and our already fragile faux normal family. I zip it instead.

My sisters and I pretend normality around our mother. It’s strained, awkward and always emotionally debilitating.

My friend and prison bride, Naquitia had written on her FB wall “my kids don’t even know what day this is.”

I was immediately struck by her post for a few reasons. First, her kids should know what day it is the older ones at least and second I was busy trying to forget Mother’s Day.

I commented on the post and advised her that Cindy and I try to forget Mother’s Day every year.

Her response touched me though. “If I had a husband at home, he would be taking these kids to buy me gifts and teaching them to celebrate me.”

It’s something I had never really put much thought into but she was right. My prison clients in numerous states are often alone on Mother’s Day. Those who aren’t are often forgotten by their children.

Another prison bride sent me a message on FB that read “my son isn’t talking to me it’s been six months. What can I do? My heart is broken.” Karen like many mothers would like to mend this rift but her son doesn’t approve of her plans to marry an inmate. I suggested sending her son a card or letter expressing her love for him while acknowledging that she must make her own decisions when it comes to choosing a life partner.

I have no idea how this will turn out for Karen but I firmly believe in the power of communicating your feelings unless of course you are me and my sisters. We communicate our feelings to each other and skip our parents.

When Cindy’s husband was home and Leigh Ann and Stephaney we’re younger, Steve took them shopping for Cindy to celebrate Mother’s Day.

When my son was still living at home, Matthew not only took him to shop for a Mother’s Day gift but even got a card from my dog, Foxy lord rest his soul. I’ve missed Foxy so much during this pandemic. He would have loved having me home.

I decided to send Naquitia some fabric. She’s an excellent seamstress and I knew she would enjoy some of our LV fabric to make masks. She did. She also sent me a photo wearing the mask she had used my material to create.

Naquitia is a good friend. All of my clients are. They are amazing, resilient and sadly, alone. Separated from their loved ones by prison walls. Sending the fabric to Naquitia, I decided to send a few of our custom masks to a few of my prison clients who had messaged me regarding being miserable on Mother’s Day themselves. Better late than never. If their kids wouldn’t celebrate them I would.

The inability to visit their loved ones along with the worry that their loved ones will become sick with Covid spreading through the prison system keeps fear and hopelessness at an all time high.

My clients have resilience, strength, patience and perseverance. They have also taught me to focus on other mothers on Mother’s Day rather than my own. It’s taken me 55 years to get past hating Mother’s Day but my clients have.

The police finally arrived at my dads house to take the stolen truck report and logged off FB to begin going over the details.

Google images showed that the truck had been parked exactly where I had last seen it and tread marks appear to have been from a trailer hauling it off.

The truck had sat there for five years. Flat tires and all. Who would steal it?

Someone was unaware that I regularly drive by and would notice it was missing.

Three months ago my sister and I hired a tow truck to move my dads other car a Mitsubishi Galant to her home until we could find an international carrier to move it to our brothers home in Monroe, North Carolina. It’s expensive to move vehicles ya all.

The policeman needed my dads date of birth. Ugh. I have no idea of my dads date of birth. I called my sister in law, Michelle who knew it.

I have no idea what my mothers birthday is either. I know my parents were both 21 when Cindy and I were born. We’ve never celebrated our parents birthdays. They’ve never celebrated ours.

I’ve never had a birthday gift from anyone in my family in my entire life. Cindy hasn’t either. For many years after locating my mother that fateful day in California and wishing I hadn’t, the benefit of meeting my mothers mother who never forgot my birthday or Christmas and even my sons birthday was the sheer delight of finding a greeting card in my mailbox.

When the cards stopped coming I knew that grandma Tinney had passed on. No birthday card in November no Christmas card in December. I called Lompoc and confirmed that grandma Tinney was gone.

The only person in my entire life who bothered to send a birthday and Christmas card every year to not only me but also my sister Cindy and her daughters. You remember things that you never had. You are thankful for them too.

Father’s Day is right around the corner. There are 3 days I intentionally overlook every year. My birthday, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day. I’ve decided to start focusing on others instead. It’s a good place to start.

My clients are the family I never had but was gifted with instead. They bring me joy. They call to check on me during this pandemic. They are amazing.

While I continue to hope and pray this virus finally leaves the prison system and the former structure of my life can be restored, I’m hopeful that Father’s Day this year will be different for me. My son is a new father. I’m a new grandmother. I have many things in my life to be thankful for. I will focus on moving beyond my anxiety of going down the card aisle with others buying sappy cards for their parents and buy a sappy card for my son and his wife or my clients.

I will work on accepting that not having parents in my life made me a better person. A kinder person. A compassionate person. The things in my life I didn’t have never defined me. I became the person I wanted to meet. The mother I never had. The father my son needed. I was capable of far more.

You don’t need parents in your life to be a good parent. You need patience, love and understanding…

Posted on

More Clerks And Chaos. Why Buying Your Marriage License Isn’t Easy…

This morning I began trying to contact clerks for clients who have their paperwork but can’t find a clerk to buy a license from.

Harris County is still closed to the public. Travis County is too. Bexar County is taking appointments. Tarrant County is booked through May 15th. Dallas County is closed.

Bexar County is booking appointments. For a month now finding a clerks office for my clients has required diligent research.

One of my clients told me that McClennan County is open to the public. Galveston is open to the public.

Your paperwork has a shelf life. We only have 30 days once the Absentee Affidavit is notarized at the law library. Often it takes up to ten days to get the paperwork from the Unit. The clock starts ticking the moment the Absentee Affidavit is signed.

May 1st could possibly be the date that clerks offices reopen but we can’t be sure. Harris, Travis, Dallas and Tarrant County continue to have rising numbers of Covid-19.

If your paperwork expires while trying to find a clerk, you will send another Absentee Affidavit to the clerks office. The Certified Offender Form doesn’t carry the same shelf life as the Absentee Affidavit. It’s valid for one year verses the 30 day timeline of the Affidavit.

I’ve had several clients send me photos of Affidavits sent from the Unit that were not notarized. In order to be legal, an Absentee Affidavit requires a notary stamp and signature. If you have received an Affidavit that hasn’t been notarized, we will need to send the Affidavit back to the Unit.

Stay calm. This Covid-19 situation is temporary. It will pass. Keep the inmates in your prayers as this virus spreads through Units. Sadly, this is by far worse than the Swine Flu which also spread through prisons a few years ago.

A journalist contacted me Saturday asking “how Covid-19 has affected my clients?” How hasn’t it affected us all? I have 51 clients in Texas alone waiting to marry an inmate. Fifty one people who are left holding the bag and waiting. Worrying about their loved ones.

I’m hoping that May reopens the visitation to most Units but we have a large portion of TDCJ Units that are currently on medical lockdown. These Units are on 14 day lockdowns from the date an inmate tests positive. As long as this virus is running through Units, we are unable to begin scheduling.

I’ve had a few former clients that have contacted me regarding parole packets and letters of support. I’m happy to send you the links.

A few clients have encountered visitation suspensions. Remember that’s it essential to prepare your appeal in a timely fashion. If you need assistance preparing your appeal, contact me.

Walker County is preparing Marriage Licenses by mail.

Sadly, I’ve had four clients contact me regarding a divorce. These are trying times for relationships. Before you make a permanent decision regarding a temporary situation, step back and understand that this too shall pass.

Emotions are running wild right now for everyone. As I write this blog, I’m answering texts from a former client who was rope a doped into a Catfish Adoption ring. Sending money to someone she hadn’t met? Yes. Deanna is desperate for a baby. Desperate enough to do anything.

I’m also on the phone with my sister in law, Michelle who had to call the police this weekend because they had both their adult kids and their spouses and all of their grandkids and our father living under one roof in Monroe, North Carolina. Michelle has been having problems with her daughters husband. A shiftless jerk who won’t work. My brother is supporting everyone under his roof. Michelle is doing all of the cooking and cleaning. Jerry and Michelle’s daughters husband is and has been disrespectful and combative to Michelle. Friday night, Hope’s husnand threatened to kill Michelle. This is shocking. Michelle has no choice. The ongoing arguments between her son in law and his stupidity have robbed Jerry and Michelle’s home of any peace. My brother works 6 days a week. Michelle is and has been caring for my dad, her grandkids, her adult children and why her daughter doesn’t see what a Deadbeat she’s married to. Michelle’s daughter manipulates her by using her three children. “If you make him leave, I’m leaving with him and I’m taking the kids with us.”

Michelle had to make a decision. You cannot live in your own home in fear. You cannot be afraid your son in law is going to kill you, your daughter or one of your grandchildren. Cindy and I have advised Michelle to hold her ground. You cannot allow someone violent to live in your home.

Michelle is now being manipulated by her daughter. How? Hope is using her three children. Michelle has been forced into either allowing someone violent in her home or worrying about her daughter and grandchildren. Hope’s husband is a violent, lazy and shiftless bum. Why she had three kids with this loser none of us can understand.

Michelle has been cooking and cleaning singlehandedly for 10 people. My brother, Jerry is supporting an entire household singlehandedly. With shingles no less. Jerry’s stress levels are through the roof. Cindy and I continue to send Jerry and Michelle whatever we can to help our baby brother and his wife. But we can’t control from Texas what’s going on in North Carolina. Michelle has been reaching a boiling point for weeks now.

Jerry was unaware of just how bad it is at his home between Michelle and their son and law. Why? Michelle doesn’t tell Jerry.

Will Hope leave an abuser with a violent temper? We don’t know.

Will Deanna ever find a baby to fill the void losing Delilah left in her life? We don’t know.

But we know this, these are trying times for everyone. Jerry and Michelle’s adult children and their spouses are now out of work. Michelle worries about her grandchildren eating. Her daughter should have left the children with Jerry and Michelle but didn’t. Instead she left with her husband who had just threatened to kill her mom.

Will my sister in law be able to see her grandchildren after all this? I don’t know. I hope so. I pray her daughter sees the light and realizes what’s best for herself and her children…

Posted on

Prisons, People, Phobias & Fears. Why I’m Not Afraid To Be A Prison Wedding Planner & Officiant…

I answer a lot of questions. Questions from people who disagree with inmate marriage. Questions from people wanting to marry an inmate. Questions from media about whether the Coronavirus will affect me in the future.

For the record, when I walk into the Unit with my client or alone to meet my client or clients in the shakedown area, fear isn’t part of my day.

As a prison wedding officiant, my role is and always will be to remain calm and ensure that my clients wedding day is as pleasant and memorable as possible.

I was at Beto Unit on March 10. A month ago, it was business at usual at Beto. I visited with Chaplain Strange. We waited for my clients fiancée to arrive in the visitation area with an escort.

I’m never in general population with inmates at any Unit in any State, Federal or ICE Detention Facility.

The number of people my client and I are with at a wedding can range from 2 correctional officers to 1 and the Unit Chaplain or several correctional officers based on the day or whether the visitation area is being used for training.

It’s not uncommon for the visitation area to be “in use” on wedding day at many Units. When this occurs, my client an I are often redirected to either another room or we wait for the visitation area to clear.

Generally other than my client and their fiancée, one officer and the chaplain, we are alone.

Prison weddings are remarkably intimate. There are very few people present. Often I have more than one client at the same Unit on the same day. Certain Units will allow all of my clients and I to enter together while other Units only allow me to enter with 1 client at a time while the others wait for me to finish my ceremony then return to the shakedown area with my next client.

I’m often asked “how can you do so many Units in the same day?” This works in Texas and other states based on timing and distance from one Unit to the next. It’s not always possible to pull off a multi Unit day but it happens with frequency the past three years for me. Why? I’m the most sought after prison officiant in the United States. Why? Because I make every clients wedding as special as they are. It’s important to me. From creating a massive inventory of bouquets, tiaras, stylish hats and more to crafting an individual and unique ceremony script for each client, weddings are Life Events to me and a one time shot to get everything as close to perfect as I can under extraordinary circumstances.

“Your twin sister and your niece are also prison officiants. Your son and daughter in law officiate are county jails and BOP facilities. Do you see moving your son and daughter in law into state ceremonies?” For now, my son and his wife are on a paternity leave and generally I’m able to cover all of my clients by stacking Units.

“The visitation ban has affected your booking schedule. Will you be overwhelmed when visitation is reinstated with reschedules?” To a certain extent the answer is yes. My March clients were canceled and will be scheduled first. Bookings in Texas State Facilities are often scheduled on either a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. Mondays and Fridays are rare. They can happen but not on a regular basis.

“How do you map out your day on the road?” I usually start in Tennessee Colony on a Tuesday or Thursday as most Units in Palestine (Beto, Powledge, Gurney) schedule on both days as do Michael and Coffield. Generally I’m in the Tennessee Colony/Palestine area very early in the morning. I then move to Huntsville Units. Frequently, I can also move to Polunsky by evening as they schedule after 5:30PM.

“How many miles do you drive a week as a traveling prison officiant?” In Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana, I drive and can easily drive up to 3k miles a week. I fly to other states in order to save time.

“Are you concerned about traveling with Covid-19 being widespread at this time?” To a certain extent a bit but I’m a germaphobic and have always sanitized my area on the plane when I fly as does Cindy.

“Will you be nervous when the visitation ban is lifted and you return to visiting 1-4 prisons on the same day again?” I will follow my same protocol of washing and sanitizing my hands prior to walking into a Unit as well and be aware of everything I touch. I go through 2 gates to enter most Units and these are the same gates that staff and visitors use so I’m well aware of the number of hands touching the gates. I will no longer shake hands in greeting my clients fiancees or the staff at Units to limit what I touch and with whom.

“You don’t bring your own pen into Units? How do you sign marriage licenses?” A pen can be used as a weapon and I’ve always borrowed a pen from the chaplain or an officer in the visitation area. Like the gates though, I will be washing and sanitizing my hands after using a pen on site.

“I’ve read that a small number of clients from your other businesses and venues you are on staff at are alarmed regarding your other clients. How do you address someone who realizes that you officiate LBGT unions or prison weddings?” Well, it’s complicated and rare for another client to express concerns regarding my other clients but it has occurred and may occur again in the future. I cut them loose. I move on. I must focus on my congregation. That congregation being the majority rather than the minority of my client’s. I’ve learned over my lifetime that negativity regarding my diverse client bases is viewed as “the choir.” I turn my back on the choir an focus on the congregation. If someone is concerned about my other clients and people that they will never meet or much less share their event date with then that’s “THEIR luggage and THEIR trip” not mine. I cut them loose and wish them luck. I’m not going to change who I am or who I help based on opinions of others.

“THERE Is No ENTRANCE For KNOWLEDGE In A CLOSED Mind.” Cindy Daniel

“Did you see yourself walking into prisons to conduct wedding ceremonies when you decided to start an event business?” No but I was open to anything as was my twin sister. We wanted to make life event’s affordable to anyone anywhere and we have.

Texas Twins Events was the first people over profit based event endeavor for my twin sister and I. Two years in we recognized and realized that a handful of clients couldn’t afford even low cost options. To solve this problem, we merged Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create a barter option, The Pawning Planners. We were never trying to “be like everyone else.” That market was saturated.

What we wanted to do and have accomplished was to be the people we would like to meet…

Posted on

TDCJ Coronavirus Updates As Units Lockdown…

An inmate at Telford Unit has died. Sadly with cases on the rise at several Units in Texas, there has also been a death of a TDCJ employee as well.

I’ve been to Telford Unit a number of times. Four TDCJ employees are positive for Covid-19. Currently there are 36 TDCJ Employees, Staff or Contractors and 28 inmates positive for Covid-19 within Texas Department of Criminal Justice.

Six prisoners at Beto Unit in Palestine have tested positive. I was just at Beto on March 10th.

How and why this virus has infiltrated Prisons continues to be a question that cannot be answered without looking at Correctional Officers who come and go to work at Units across Texas.

For two months now, I’ve watched the numbers of inmates affected by this virus. Alarmed, I knew that an airborne virus inside a heavily populated Prison or Correctional Facility could and would quite possibly “spread like wildfire.”

Federal Facilities have gone to a 14 day lockdown while state operated detention centers play it by ear medically locking down Units with the highest numbers.

Across the world, inmates are just as affected as nursing homes. Overcrowded and often understaffed, an airborne virus is easily transmitted.

Whether you feel comfortable wearing a mask in public or not, the possibility of being required to wear one is becoming reality. In Laredo, Texas, failure to wear a mask in public will result in a $1k fine.

Governor Abbott has closed state lines. You can no longer just leave Louisiana for Texas or Texas for Louisiana. Tightening the border? Yes. Mandatory quarantine if you are traveling to or from Texas or Louisiana? Yes.

As I wait for this visitation ban to lift, daily I have new inquiries for inmate weddings. Daily, I’m advising these new bookings “to hang onto their deposit” as I’m not taking deposits at this time. Why? Because I have clients from March that were cancelled at Units who had hoped to marry in April.

The possibility of my March and April clients being moved to May exists. Because existing clients will be scheduled first, new bookings are being moved to May, June and July.

Cindy and I won’t be flying to California or NY this year until August due to the current pandemic.

The best advice I can give anyone during a time like this is to stay calm. Try to remain positive.

I continue to take calls, texts and emails from past and current clients who need a friend or just someone to listen. We are all in this together and I hope to see all of you very soon at your prison weddings.

Posted on

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” – Robert H Schuller

As suspended visitation continues across the board for not only TDCJ but also FBOP, ICE and County Detention Centers, my clients are concerned about their loved ones, rescheduled ceremony dates and marriage licenses that may expire waiting on reschedules. Stay calm. This is temporary and put in place to prevent an outbreak.

For those of you who are booked clients, I’m offering to pay 1/2 the cost to replace your marriage license should it expire waiting on a reschedule. We will work through this together. You will get married eventually this virus and the ripple effects of state, federal and counties is put in place to prevent the spread of the virus.

I’ve had a few interviews with reporters the past two weeks regarding my thoughts about Rikers. Someone somewhere brought the virus into Rikers. It could have been Weinstein. It could have been someone else. We may never know. But we know this, Rikers has some of the most widespread virus numbers there are at a correctional facility. Louisiana, Washington, California and other states are behind but FBOP, TDCJ and other are keeping their numbers low and they are doing so by being cautious.

New York is leading the numbers and sadly there are a number of county detention centers releasing inmates “to prevent the spread of the virus.”

In Texas, an Executive Order halted the release of inmates. Dallas County is still releasing inmates. Dallas County has 17 cases of this virus.

While fear and anxiety regarding the future affect all of us in one way or another, my clients from Texas Twins Events and Belltower Chapel have also been forced to make changes to planned events too.

At the kickoff of wedding season and my busiest booking year yet, the virus has caused so much change to occur so fast that I’ve spent hours day and night talking to and counseling clients through extraordinary unique circumstances.

From canceled funerals to canceled weddings and baptisms as well as inmate wedding ceremonies being canceled, these changes and disappointments have affected all of my booked clients for March and April.

Moving canceled March bookings to April and possibly May at this point is a literal juggling act. I’m no longer traveling to California in May as previously planned due to the number of reschedules I have in Texas as this time. Currently, I plan to return to California in July but this is unconfirmed until my clients in California are taken care of. I appreciate your patience California Clients as we work through reschedules no one could have anticipated or predicted.

Regarding Texas TDCJ, FBOP, ICE and County Jail Clients in Texas, FBOP made an announcement yesterday that will give them 14 days to re evaluate.

During this window, they will monitor and isolate inmates to control the spread of this virus. There are very few FBOP cases in the United States.

(Inmate) 3/31/2020 – MDC Brooklyn; FCC Oakdale (7); USP Atlanta (2); MCC New York (3); FMC Butner (2); FCI Otisville; FCI Danbury; FCC Lompoc (3); FCI Elkton (2); USP Canaan, PA; RRC Phoenix, AZ; RRC Brooklyn, NY (4); RRC Janesville, WI. 

(Staff) 3/31/2020 –Grand Prairie, TX; Leavenworth, KS (no inmate contact); Yazoo, MS (2); Atlanta, GA (3); Danbury, CT; Butner, NC (2); Ray Brook, NY (2); New York, NY (5); Chicago, IL (2); Brooklyn, NY (4); Oakdale, LA (3); Lompoc, CA; Otisville, NY; Talladega, AL; Tucson, AZ.

In a statement to the AP, Bureau of Prisons Director Michael Carvajal said the agency has “thus far been fortunate in that our rate of COVID-19 infection is remarkably low.” 

The lockup in Oakdale accounts for five inmate cases. Only one other facility has as many cases, the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, New York.

Prison advocates have been warning for weeks about the likelihood that COVID-19 will spread rapidly inside U.S. detention facilities.

The top doctor at Rikers Island said the coronavirus-hit New York jail is a “public health disaster unfolding before our eyes” as he warned of the rapidly rising number of infections in the city’s jails.

In just 12 days, Ross MacDonald, the jail’s chief physician, said confirmed cases at Rikers had soared from one to nearly 200.

He added: “This is not a generational public health crisis, rather it is a crisis of a magnitude no generation living today has ever seen.”

He warned that it is “unlikely” they will be able to stop the growth, predicting that 20% of those infected will need hospital treatment and 5% ventilators.

He also called for the release of “as many vulnerable people as possible”.

Immigrations and Customs Enforcement detainees must be immediately released from county jails where cases of novel coronavirus have been confirmed, a federal judge in New York ordered Thursday night.

The 10 detainees asked for their release “because of the public health crisis posed by COVID-19,” their petition said.

The men and women had been detained by federal immigration authorities and had removal proceedings pending in immigration court. They were being held at three jails in New Jersey where either detainees or staff had tested positive for coronavirus.

“Each Petitioner suffers from chronic medical conditions, and faces an imminent risk of death or serious injury in immigration detention if exposed to COVID-19,” the decision said.

Concerned that thousands of migrant children in federal detention facilities could be in danger of contracting the coronavirus, a federal judge in Los Angeles late on Saturday ordered the government to “make continuous efforts” to release them from custody.

The order from Judge Dolly M. Gee of the United States District Court came after plaintiffs in a long-running case over the detention of migrant children cited reports that four children being held at a federally licensed shelter in New York had tested positive for the virus.

“The threat of irreparable injury to their health and safety is palpable,” the plaintiffs’ lawyers said in their petition, which called for migrant children across the country to be released to outside sponsors within seven days, unless they represent a flight risk.

There are currently about 3,600 children in shelters around the United States operated under license by the federal Office of Refugee Resettlement, and about 3,300 more at three detention facilities for migrant children held in custody with their parents, operated by the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency.

For the tens of thousands of kids locked up in juvenile detention centers and other correctional facilities across America, experts have issued a gloomy warning: The coronavirus is coming.

Already this week, Louisiana confirmed that a staff member and three children in state custody had contracted the virus, including one living in a group home in Baton Rouge. Delaware, Minnesota, New York, Texas and Connecticut are among the other states that have reported positive tests among youth or staff.

Worried about the virus spreading in crowded facilities, where kids have little access to masks and even hand sanitizer, more than 30 correctional administrators and rights advocates called Tuesday for the release of vulnerable youth and for the stoppage of all new admissions. They also want a clear safety plan for those who remain inside, including access to adequate protective measures and better contact with loved ones.

“Even though these kids are hidden from view, they are still part of our community and their health affects the health of all of us, as we affect them,” said Renee Slajda, of the nonprofit Louisiana Center for Children’s Rights. “Imagine what would happen if one school were allowed to stay open, even when students began testing positive for the virus. Hundreds of people would be exposed — the children, staff, and communities they go home to every night.”

Texas Gov. Greg Abbott has moved to restrict the release of people in jail during the coronavirus pandemic — but Harris County’s misdemeanor judges aren’t abiding by his executive order. Instead, they’re following a federal court’s orders for their bail decisions.

And those tied to the court have again raised skepticism that Abbott’s order is even constitutional.

Instead of following Abbott’s recent executive order, a lawyer for the 16 criminal court judges that preside over low-level offenses in Texas’ largest county said in a Tuesday letter obtained by The Texas Tribune that the judges will continue to comply with practices solidified in a federal court agreement. That will allow for the automatic release of most misdemeanor defendants without collecting bail payment.

Before a lawsuit that spurred that agreement, the release of jail inmates accused of misdemeanors relied heavily on cash bail. Those practices were found unconstitutional in federal courts for discriminating against poor defendants, prompting a consent decree last year.

Now, many Harris County defendants are required to be released on no-cost, personal bonds, which can include conditions like drug tests and regular check-ins.

The number of detainees testing positive for coronavirus at the Cook County Jail in Chicago skyrocketed over the weekend, leaving Sheriff Tom Dart grabbling with a dilemma that runs against the very grain of a veteran lawman and former prosecutor: whether to free alleged criminals instead of keeping them locked up.

As of Tuesday afternoon, one of America’s largest single-site jails had 141 inmates who have tested positive for COVID-19, up from just 38 on Friday, Dart told ABC News. Of all the inmates tested so far only 11 were negative, he said.

“This is beyond complicated,” Dart said. “There was zero playbook for this stuff.”

The news of the death comes as coronavirus infections continue to climb in Orange County. 

The total number of cases in Orange County reached 502 on Tuesday. Seven people — three men and four women — have died of the virus. Four of those individuals were at least age 65, and one was between ages 45 and 64. One person who died was between 25 and 34 years old and another was between 35 and 44 years old, according to data from the Orange County Health Care Agency. 

As of Monday, nine people who had symptoms consistent with COVID-19 were being isolated in the jail. Five inmates have tested positive, and roughly 150 are being quarantined under observation, Sheriff Don Barnes said.

An inmate and four people who work in the Los Angeles County jails have tested positive for the coronavirus infection, heightening fears that the disease could spread quickly in the overcrowded jail system.

The inmate, who was at Twin Towers Correctional Facility, displayed symptoms Thursday and was moved to the jail’s Correctional Treatment Center for isolation, Correctional Health Director Jackie Clark said. His test came back positive over the weekend, and he is now at L.A. County-USC Medical Center. 

The inmate had been held in a one-man cell in a “high observation housing” area reserved for mentally ill inmates. About 16 others in that housing area were being quarantined, with staff monitoring them regularly with temperature checks, Clark said. She added that classes and therapy sessions for that group were halted about three weeks ago to minimize the risk of exposure. 

“We don’t have a huge concern for the 16 that’s in quarantine,” she said. Clark said it’s likely the inmate was exposed in the jail, where he’s been housed since about December. Officials are working to track his movements and determine exactly where he was exposed and by whom. 

 California plans to expedite the release of up to 3,500 inmates in the coming weeks to combat the spread of the coronavirus through its prison system.

The state Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation announced the move Tuesday in a court filing asking federal judges not to intervene and order further inmate releases from California’s overcrowded prisons.

“We do not take these new measures lightly. Our first commitment at CDCR is ensuring safety — of our staff, of the incarcerated population, of others inside our institutions, and of the community at large,” Ralph Diaz, secretary for the corrections department, said in a statement. “However, in the face of a global pandemic, we must consider the risk of COVID-19 infection as a grave threat to safety, too.”

The California prison system is operating at more than 134% of its capacity, holding nearly 30,000 people more than it was designed for.

Amid fears that the coronavirus will carve a deadly path through prisons and jails, counties and states are releasing thousands of inmates — New Jersey alone began freeing hundreds of people this week — and the federal prison system is coming under intense pressure to take similar measures.

In Tulsa, Oklahoma, people who usually spend their days fighting with each other—public defenders and prosecutors—joined forces to get 75 people released from jail in a single day. And outside Oakland, California, jailers are turning to empty hotel rooms to make sure the people they let out have a place to go.

Dallas County District Attorney John Creuzot told The Marshall Project he was frustrated about the slow pace of releases from the county’s jail, among the largest in the country. The jail population is now almost 1,000 over its typical average of 5,000.

All jury trials have been canceled, so Creuzot worried those numbers would swell. His office has been working with defense attorneys and judges to release eligible people on personal recognizance bonds, he said.

While other states hurriedly work to release inmates, this virus and the affects of jobs, inmates, correctional staff and my clients continues to change on a daily basis.

FBOP issued a statement to self isolate inmates for 14 days to prevent the spread of this virus within the Bureau Of Prisons.

Posted on

Homeschooling, Homebound, & The Tiger King? A Literal Trifecta Of A Quarantine Craziness…

This morning my concerned son, also a new father, worriedly me if “anything like this has happened before?” He was referring to the world today.

Not in my lifetime has nearly everyone other than essential employees being told to stay home has ever occurred.

My twin sister is currently trying to wake the twins up for homeschooling and Netflix used a worldwide quarantine to create a Tiger King frenzy of viewers.

I don’t watch television as a whole as I’m usually working seven days a week.

But, my niece and my twin sister both told me “you have got to see this show!”

It’s rare for anyone in my family to advise me to tune in. I’m not accustomed to laying around watching television but this “Tiger King train wreck” was too hard to to pass up.

First, I did some research about Joe though. If this guy was really as flamboyant portrayed, I knew that someone somewhere had come across him in the entertainment industry.

If you had told me “that someone” would be our former production company, GCF (Good Clean Fun), I wouldn’t have believed it. But, Jason has an eye for big characters.

Sadly, most of Hollywood would find Joe Exotic “too controversial.” How would you pitch this guy to a network? Honey Boo Boo and Mama June pale in comparison to the wild ride of Joe Exotic.

The crazy outfits, the wild attitude, hating his competition, having two husbands, an employee that gets an arm bit off AND returns to work? Wow.

Between answering emails of alarmed clients concerned about their licenses expiring waiting on the shut down of prisons to lift, I found time to view the sizzle reel filmed by Good Clean Fun.

The fact that Cindy and I knew everyone at GCF since they had filmed our sizzle reel and subsequent television pilot made this Tiger King sizzle reel filmed by them far more intriguing to me. After all, we spent a year with the team at GCF. Filming the sizzle, Skype calls, filming the pilot, voice over calls and more.

We knew our production company people at GCF and we liked them. While we didn’t love the pilot, we rolled with the punches.

Jason was before his time finding a character that even the best writers could never create. Truth is stranger than fiction.

No frankenbiting here. It wasn’t needed with a guy so far out there that he wanted to be president.

The story and the characters are so shocking that I called Cindy and said “Hey, GCF found this guy and filmed a sizzle. I wonder how that pitch meeting must’ve gone?”

Was it “hey we found this wild guy living at a zoo who is so outlandish and passionate that there has to be a series here. He would make Billy The Exterminator look mild by comparison.”

The Networks..”Umm well this guy and his life are too controversial for television. What would the sponsors think?”

Netflix… “Everyone is stuck at home under quarantine. Now would be the time to air that Tiger King series.”

A lot of folks don’t know what a sizzle reel is so I will explain. The variations of filming for Cindy and I verses Joe Exotic are remarkably different.

How so? We filmed at GCF while Joe filmed from his zoo. Why? He wouldn’t leave.

We were in California filming for Hot Bench. Kristen and Kjerstin had found us on LinkedIn about a month before we were scheduled to film “Don’t Call Me Bridezilla” on Hot Bench.

The timing of flying to LA to film Hot Bench made going to GCF to film the sizzle convenient as I had asked the travel coordinator for Hot Bench to extend our travel plans. I do this all the time when filming. The network wants to fly you in and out. You explain you will pay your own hotel beyond the network and extend your travel plans. The coordinator changes your flight for you.

Kristen had sent an email which was how we wound up under contract for Pawning Planners.

Here is how it went “My name is Kristen and I’m with a production company in Los Angeles. Would you be interested in a show about your business?”

Between GCF and Taillight, Discovery had called me first from Beverly Hills. I was at the doctor when the call came in to schedule a Skype call. I had never used Skype and had no idea what they expected. I was advised to “show my big personality.” Whatever the Hell that meant. Because I had just moved and didn’t have wifi set up. The connection issues and my frustration made that Skype call with Carmen at Discovery a bust.

But, other production companies would come and go. I’m now an expert at Skype. I don’t need anyone telling me to show them “my big personality” either. I’m myself and not acting. I don’t need to act.

Taillight came after Discovery. Good Clean Fun came after Tailight. There have been so many others after GCF that it’s easy to lose track.

I’ve learned to have the production companies pay travel though. You learn along the way. If you don’t learn, travel can become really expensive!

The Hot Bench episode came in the midst of production companies and networks calling me. It’s a long story about that Bridezilla ya all. She lied to get a police discount and was 2 hours late to her own wedding. That wedding was a train wreck. A Tardy Party Bride Who Lied. By the way, I won the case on Hot Bench.

Since we would be in California filming Hot Bench, I told Kristen we would be in LA and she invited us to go to GCF.

It was there at GCF that our interview for the sizzle was filmed. It would be edited and added to before we were sent a link to the sizzle. Here it is… The Pawning Planners.

Watching this for the first time from the Office Max parking lot in Weatherford, Cindy and I didn’t know what a sizzle was. The text from Kristen said “here’s the sizzle.”

We clicked the link and watched from our phones the interview in LA that had been edited. We watched in stunned silence. We watched it again. And again. And again. We were shocked.

Would we talk about anything? Yes. Did we want personal conversations on film passed around to networks? No. But we weren’t in control of the edits.

How long were we on film in the GCF offices? I have no idea about an hour I guess. We talked about our lives, our families and our clients. We had merged Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create a barter option, The Pawning Planners.

Were there things on the sizzle we wish there weren’t? Absolutely. But a sizzle is meant to grab the networks attention. The talent has no say in the editing of the sizzle or the pilot. I will get to the pilot in a minute.

Let’s look at the sizzle created by GCF for Joe Exotic. Did he want roadkill in his sizzle? Probably not. But the sizzle is at the production companies discretion. The sizzle for Joe was recently uploaded. Who uploaded it to his YouTube channel? Who knows but he had the film and he had the film because GCF sent it to him.

How do I know? Because I have the sizzle and pilot film for Pawning Planners. It was sent to me too. I have and have had both the sizzle reel film and the pilot episode film discs for five years now.

Before we jump in and watch this tantalizing sizzle, I cannot in a million years imagine Joe flying to LA and walking in to GCF to film a sizzle. It would be similar to Billy The Exterminator strolling down Hollywood Blvd. These types of characters don’t blend in anywhere.

Joe must’ve told GCF to come to him. Here we go kids and buckle up for one of the craziest sizzle reels I’ve seen… Joe Exotic Sizzle Reel.

The filming of Joe’s sizzle reel obviously took far longer to film. Why? Our sizzle had footage edited into it from stock video and ironically footage from Taillight TV for their project with us, Texas Twins TV, that had been uploaded to Vimeo from one of the two people hired to film Cindy and I in Fort Worth, Sean Percer.

Chris Watson and Sean Percer filmed Cindy and I at home, at the TCGPWA parade and at the Rainbow Lounge for a sizzle with Taillight.

Kristen had asked “if I had any film to send to GCF?” I asked Sean and Chris and Sean had a Vimeo video link that I sent to Kristen.

The video from Rainbow Lounge was used in the sizzle, Pawning Planners.

The footage from Rainbow Lounge was commissioned by Taillight which I found odd since it wasn’t my film to begin with.

But I didn’t question my production company. Maybe they had asked Sean or Tailight to use the film? Who knows?

The footage of Joe is obviously shot on site. There was no stock footage rolled into his sizzle.

I remember Jason having Kristen call me to advise me “we were needed in LA to attend pitch meetings.”

For folks who don’t know what a pitch meeting is, I will elaborate. The sizzle reel is used to pitch the networks.

If the networks have interest, they schedule a pitch meeting. I asked “who is paying for travel?” I was told “you are.” Well then.

I made travel and hotel accommodations to fly to LA and attend pitch meetings with Cindy.

Cindy and I flew to LA (at our own expense) to attend two pitch meetings with our production company.

The first was at Lifetime. The second was at TLC. Lifetime gave a green light and plans to film the pilot in Texas were made a few months later.

Why no one gave Joe a green light is odd. This guy was so wacky that the only person I could even compare him to was Billy The Exterminator or Dog The Bounty Hunter.

But who sponsor such a show of controversy? Caged animals are controversial.

Carol and a disappearing husband? There’s mystery, animosity, intrigue and a wide array of characters going on in this series that you can’t stop watching.

While Netflix took a gamble on rolling with the punches, they took a risk that paid off.

As for GCF, Jason saw something there but the timing just wasn’t right in my opinion. He had an eye for talent. He had a vision for drawing you into the characters. He was ahead of his time with Joe Exotic.

How this Joe guy went unnoticed for as long as he did is anyone’s guess. He was “out there.”

Rumors are circulating that Joe is at FMC in Fort Worth, Texas. I have been to FMC a number of times to officiate Inmate ceremonies.

I perform state, federal and ICE as well as county jail weddings. My twin sister does too as does my niece.

A number of people may view my clients as controversial. Others don’t. I have a mixed bag of clients from Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners and TDCJ Officiant.

Like Joe having fans and critics, I also think have people who might disagree with inmate marriage or LBGT marriage but I accept being controversial because my goal and my role is unbiased.

I don’t ask why my clients are marrying an inmate or why someone is incarcerated. Why? It’s none of my business. My business is to plan and execute religious ceremonies and services. My twin sister and I have found a way to help anyone regardless of their income.

Did this make us different? Maybe. Did our passion to give others the Dream Event we didn’t have require thinking outside the box? Absolutely. All of these years later, we are stronger than ever. Busier than ever and aware of how television works.

If you don’t fit a certain mold and let’s face it Joe didn’t, your story may never be told. Netflix took a gamble but it’s a gamble that paid off for them.

As I review a number of emails from clients who are on hold awaiting confirmed and cancelled dates at TDCJ Units, the Executive Order issued yesterday is pertaining to county and municipal jails regarding release.

For those of you who haven’t seen this Tiger King series, if you are stuck at home like many of us are, it’s worth tuning into…

Posted on

Homebound And Feeling Down? You Aren’t Alone…

My entire adult life has been built around structure. I’ve always had a schedule. I don’t anymore.

My “new normal” consists of going outside to take out the trash these days and making a run for it if one of my neighbors happens to be doing the same thing at the same time or meeting clients and staying in my suv. It’s odd to not walk into a venue or a unit. It’s odd to change so much so quickly.

Social distancing has affected anyone who takes this virus seriously. For others who don’t, they eventually do when their job shuts down or their city is locked down by a safety in place order.

Due to the number of requests for drive by ceremonies, I’ve updated my site pages… Texas Twins Events I cannot and will not “just sign a license.” I will conduct a ceremony regardless of how brief PRIOR to signing your license.

Changes to how, where and when people are now getting married by car are shocking but occurring with regularity during this virus window.

Suddenly being stuck at home and unprepared for the possibility has caught a number of folks with their pants down. People who didn’t know how to cook are learning. People with limited food at home are “winging it” with wild recipes of items they have on hand.

I miss seeing my grandson the past 2 weeks. I miss my clients, my structure, my predictability and my family. I miss the way things “used to be.” But, this is temporary. Self quarantine protects all of us. It’s inconvenient but it’s essential.

My twin sister summed up this unexpected virus to me while I was sadly calling 9 clients last week to advise them that their event had been cancelled.

These clients had been scheduled at 4 TDCJ Units, 2 FBOP facilities 1 ICE Detention Center and 1 county jail and were excitedly looking forward to a wedding they had waited months to have.

Cindy summed up the situation better than I could have (as usual).

“YOU will no longer FEAR the STORM, once you’ve SURVIVED the DROUGHT”

Cindy literally has a flair for iconic and memorable quotes that I’ve never had.

Yesterday, I reviewed a DM from a Linda who wanted to know if I “had heard about Harvey Weinstein?” I follow prison news and legal news closely and ironically had told my husband weeks ago “they are taking him to Bellevue.” Matthew wanted to know the outcome of a very public and sensational trial. I had tuned in at odd times to follow this trial.

While awaiting sentencing, Weinstein was kept at Rikers.

Rikers Island is among the world’s largest jails – it is perched on a 413 acre island between Queens and the Bronx and holds about 7,000 inmates, down from more than 20,000 at its peak in the 1990s.

The majority (85%) of detainees at Rikers Island are pretrial defendants, either held on bail or remanded in custody. The rest of the population have been convicted and are serving short sentences.

As early as February, Bellevue had reported cases of Coronavirus. But the main story that most of us will remember is the death of Kobe not the outbreak of a virus sweeping through New York.

Obviously, Weinstein wasn’t sick during the trial or showing signs of illness.

How do I know? From catching glimpses of the trial. No one was coughing or showing signs of difficulty breathing. That trial was charged with emotion but without visible signs of illness.

Meanwhile at Bellevue, more cases surfaced not only there but at other hospitals as well.

Because Weinstein had suffered a mild heart attack, he was sent to Bellevue for an angioplasty procedure.

There weren’t any reports of Coronavirus at Rikers until after Weinstein having that angioplasty. Think about it.

My observation of the widespread and unheard of transmissions of the Coronavirus at Rikers took me a moment to try and understand why or how the virus had come to get into Rikers.

Was it a guard? A weekend visitor? Or was it Weinstein returning to custody from Bellevue? Could his nurse or treatment team at Bellevue have inadvertently transferred the virus to Weinstein it was it a hard surface that Weinstein came in contact with? Hospitals are riddled with germs as are prisons.

Many posts regarding Weinstein becoming infected with the Coronavirus run from “he deserved it” to “that’s great.” Focus on where he’s been and who has been around him ya all.

What these folks are missing here is the number of people who have been within 6 feet of Weinstein.

Regardless of your feelings about HIM what about THEM?

Attorneys, correctional officers, hospital staff, I could go on and on here. Reporters within close proximity are and have been equally “exposed.”

Someone else had commented on yet another post regarding Rikers being overrun by the virus. Another “who cares?” Well, for people this narrow minded and unconcerned about inmates, it should be noted that the inmates family care.

The correctional officers and their families care too.

Do these people posting hateful comments realize the number of people who work within the criminal justice system prior to making idiotic public remarks? No. Because they don’t love an inmate or an officer. They don’t care about inmates. But there are millions of people who do care about inmates.

There are families who care about a loved one working at a facility overrun with a deadly virus too.

Prisons have millions of visitors on weekends throughout the U.S. But if we look at where this virus is running rampantly through the criminal justice system, it isn’t affecting any state as much as New York. Why? Rikers and Bellevue? The airport? A city that’s a literal hub for international travel? Public transportation? Cabs? Ubers? Drivers from the network? Hotels? Airplanes?

Could it be because Weinstein literally “brought the Coronavirus into Rikers from Bellevue? It is a possibility. Or was an officer already infected and transporting Weinstein from court to Rikers or from Bellevue to Rikers? Was he already infected during the trial? He didn’t appear to be but if the incubation period is two weeks the possibility of him being ill at some point are possible.

Rikers is now releasing inmates at an alarming pace. Were these other inmates exposed? We may never know but the possibility exists.

Other correctional facilities are following Rikers lead. They too want to thin the numbers of inmates. This has never occurred within the criminal justice system before. TDCJ will not follow the lead of others and neither is CDCR although many are pressuring early releases. CDCR may very well start releasing older inmates or inmates with health issues due to the number of people pressuring them to do so but pressure won’t affect TDCJ. This is Texas and Texas is being proactive rather than reactive.

Ironically, the Fort Worth PD announced publicly that they won’t arrest Class C suspects. They don’t want to bring anything into the jails. But does this announcement encourage criminal behavior? Maybe. In Texas, most citizens are armed and in a position to protect their home and property. Texans are preparers by nature. Most know how to hunt and fish. Parents and grandparents teach kids gun safety at a young age. I was one of those kids. My uncle handed me a rifle at about ten years old. I don’t like guns and never have but I know how to use one and my husband has taken me to driving ranges for years to keep me aware of the possibility of one day needing to use a gun to protect myself. I hope that day never comes.

How did the virus get to Bellevue? A woman returning from abroad flew into Newark and then went to Bellevue. Did Bellevue already have the virus? Maybe. Was it a possibility? Absolutely.

  • No one took this Coronavirus seriously until they were forced to do so. Including me. I viewed this virus as I did the flu which affects and kills people every year.
  • I’m OCD and to people around me known as a germ freak. Those months spent volunteering at the nursing home taught me to be aware of germs and the transmission of germs. I’ve never forgotten what I learned about sterilization at that nursing home.
  • Why? At 15 years old I was volunteering at a nursing home for a health class to attempt to go into the nursing profession.
  • At a very young age, I learned about germs. Nurses and personnel warned me about infection and transmission.
  • Although I chose another path in my career, I’ve never forgotten how fragile seniors are and how easily germs can spread through a nursing home. Prisons are equally vulnerable as are hospitals.
  • I began officiating inmate weddings in California years ago prior to other states including Texas, I followed the same stringent guidelines about sanitizing my hands prior to entering and after leaving a Unit.
  • I also had advised my PCP that I would be going into prisons and needed booster immunizations in order to protect my clients, the facility staff, myself and the inmates.
  • When my twin sister, Cindy and niece, Leigh Ann began officiating inmate ceremonies, they followed the same regimen of doing whatever they could to stay healthy and immunized. Why? Because the importance of being vigilant is to protect not only ourselves but also those around us.
  • I had an inquisitive phone call about a post on my FB page, Prison Weddings With Wendy Wortham after posting my observations regarding Rikers. It was a reporter. She had read my post regarding Rikers and Bellevue.
  • Why no one else saw or noticed the same things I did I have no idea. I love a mystery. I love trying to figure out what happened or will happen. With the Coronavirus, no one could have anticipated what has happened. No one.
  • While the media reported that Weinstein “tested positive,” what they didn’t do was attempt to find out how.
  • My self imposed isolation began last Monday. I’ve continued to stay in touch with clients, Units and my family. I’ve officiated two drive through funerals. Shocking yes but I’ve also had a flood of people contacting me because their “other officiant” effectively bailed on them.
  • Fear flops two ways. While vendors are upset about cancellations, customers are now getting cancelled by their vendor? This trend during wedding season has never occurred before.
  • BUT I can’t save everyone. I have to put my booked clients first which is why I’m not taking on new or short notice bookings. Why? Because I currently have a month of rescheduled events already. These clients are my priority.
  • “You must turn your back on the choir to focus on the congregation.”
  • My twin sister famously told me this at a wedding years ago. The couple were the congregation. Their families were the choir. Cindy and her iconic quotes are honest, raw and real.
  • Anyone contacting me with a full plate of clients awaiting reschedules is effectively the choir. I have an existing congregation.
  • The reporter contacting me wanted a Zoom conference. I prefer Skype and use it frequently for production companies and media interviews. Nonetheless and anyhow, I downloaded Zoom and attempted to “fix myself up.” What do I mean by that folks? Well my quarantine clothing consists of daytime pajamas and nighttime pajamas which obviously aren’t appropriate for a video conference call.
  • My husband asked “why are you putting on makeup? You aren’t going anywhere are you?”
  • The safety of officiating ceremonies from my car and limiting my interaction with mourners, clients and guests is and will be odd. Mobile weddings and funerals are unheard of but fast becoming a reality. Social distancing is a learning curve.
  • I miss the intimacy of hugging clients to celebrate their wedding or posing for wedding photos. I miss the intimacy of shaking hands and sharing my sorrow at a memorial. I can currently no longer perform baptisms. Social distancing and stringent guidelines to protect the transmission of this virus have literally changed the way I live.
  • All of my clients are upset about changes. From visitation revocation to rescheduled events, no one is happy about the current changes set forth to prevent the transmission of this virus. We are all “adapting.” We have no choice.
  • Rikers and Wende now have the Coronavirus.
  • Cindy and I had flown into Newark last August to film with Mel Robbins. Cindy and Wendy both sanitized our entire areas on the plane with antibacterial wipes while fellow passengers stared at us. Cindy and Wendy fly a lot and learned years ago that every time we got off a plane we got sick. We changed that by being OCD. We no longer get sick flying and the reason we dont is over precaution.
  • Leigh Ann had flown into JFK. Our travel coordinator couldn’t put us at the same airport which wasn’t an issue as the driver for Leigh Ann took her to the same hotel our driver did.
  • Our first night in New York would be the first time my twin had chest pains. It would be our first inkling of a problem too. Irony has many faces.
  • On one hand, we had a set of Texas Twins who have never not honored a commit in their lives. On the other hand, my sister had a health issue that had surfaced. Cindy wouldn’t go to the hospital in New York because “we must be on the set. I will go to a doctor back home.”
  • Leaving New York at Newark Airport, I as usual had antibacterial wipes. In fact, every time we got into a car with our driver, I wiped down the areas. My sister was having chest pains. I went and bought a bottle of aspirin and bottle of water. I was terrified Cindy would have a heart attack returning to DFW. But, she didn’t and she didn’t because I bought those aspirin.
  • Back in DFW, my twin was diagnosed with angina. I was determined to find out why.
  • Admitted and discharged from Harris with this cryptic diagnosis. I demanded a prescription for nitroglycerin. Why? Because I had researched angina.
  • In a matter of days the nitroglycerin would save my sister from a major heart attack. In a matter of months, my sister would undergo an angioplasty just like Weinstein. But the nitroglycerin and aspirin while waiting on a referral for a cardiologist are why my sister survived.
  • We were waiting on that referral while Cindy was a passenger in my suv running from Unit to Unit across Texas and driving her daughter, Stephaney to treatment in Oklahoma.
  • The stress of “another inpatient stint” for Stephaney didn’t help Cindys stress level or angina discomfort.
  • I took Cindy to Harris in Willow Park and my twin was finally transferred to the Heart Ward for an angioplasty. The referral from our PCP came while she was at Harris still recovering.
  • You can imagine after going through all of this to get my sister proper treatment why I wondered how Weinstein “got right in” and “got that angioplasty.”
  • For people on the outside, getting a cardiologist and getting an angioplasty are far more difficult. Why do you think there are so many heart attacks in America?
  • A number of people are saying “Weinstein got what he deserved.” But, what about the personnel at the Unit? What about other inmates? What about the visitors to Rikers? What about the families of personnel and visitors? This isn’t so much about Weinstein as it is throwing a rock in the pond. The rock leaves ripples.
  • As Units across the country consider releasing inmates, Rikers is releasing more than anyone else.
  • Are these inmates infected? Who knows but they are out and they are out after being exposed. Think about it.
  • Wende now has two cases with one of them being Weinstein. Will there be others at Wende? Are there already?
  • Weinstein will be housed in Wende for his entire classification process, a Department of Corrections spokesperson said.

    • “There is no standard time frame for this process, as it varies based on the individual’s programmatic, medical and other needs,” the rep said.

  • How many correctional officers have been within 6 feet of Weinstein? How many people have been near him? It’s a question that may never be answered but needs to be considered….
    • Posted on

    Small Acts Of Kindness In Situations We Couldn’t Expect Can Make A Difference..

    This morning I read a text that Harris County had closed their clerks offices. Travis, Tarrant, Dallas and other counties may follow this trend. Please remain calm. This situation is temporary.

    Although your Absentee Affidavit has a shelf life of 30 days once notarized (in states where Absentee Affidavits are available), Law Libraries at Units are aware that the possibility of needing to notarize a second affidavit exist. If your Absentee Affidavit expires because you couldn’t purchase a license due to a clerks office closing, please remain calm. We will work through obtaining a new affidavit.

    All marriage licenses have been filed in person or via priority (tracked) mail. You are married.

    I’m going to take a moment to once again go over why reviewing your address when purchasing a marriage license is important… when I file your license, it’s mailed to you at the address you provided. If you are moving or planning to move, please use the new address. If you haven’t received your license within 7-10 days of me filing it, call me. I will contact the clerks office and find out if it’s been returned due to a bad address. Stay calm.

    Over the past 7 days since the visitation revocation occurred, I have had time on my hands I’ve never had in the past thirty years.

    An unexpected holiday for a workaholic gave me a window to help others. Believe it or not you can help others too. Whether it’s being a kind ear to someone struggling with job loss or helping someone by offering odd jobs such as babysitting or lawn mowing to someone who lost their job.

    For me, having time on my hands has put me at nearly 30 stores the past week locating items that others couldn’t find. From shipping hand sanitizers and toilet paper to a nursing home in Hondo to making large pots of soup to my elderly neighbors to mailing dry and canned beans to a mother with four children in a nearby town, I’ve been busy and keeping busy trying to find places where food is available and checking in on FB to let others know where to go to find food.

    At Roy Pope, a small neighborhood grocery store one block from my home, I witnessed someone buying all of the meat available. Over 3k worth of steaks, chicken, tenderloins and hamburger that people in my neighborhood rely on this store having.

    For 80 years, Roy Pope has serviced our community. They may be forced to shut down now as they have run out of items to sell.

    I’ve never encountered anything like this in my lifetime. I pray I never encounter anything like it again. Everyone is panicking.

    People are losing their jobs. No one can find toilet paper, beans, rice or other staples. Truck stops are closing cafes.

    My brother in law, Steve is a truck driver. He’s been on the road a week and just returned home. Pennsylvania is closing rest areas. Restaurants are closing dining areas.

    My husband couldn’t find lunch yesterday as the drive through lanes are now the only option. The wait in drive through lines is 30-45 minutes. His lunch is one hour.

    This morning, I made his lunch. The decision of whether to close his office has bounced back and forth. There are only 3 employees in the office at this time, my husband, the bookkeeper and warranty person.

    Contractors and subcontractors as well as builders are being asked to communicate via email. McBee Homes is sanitized constantly by my husband who is a germ freak and always has been.

    My husband decided to cancel his usual Friday morning builder meeting breakfast.

    We all fear change but daily changes are occurring. This morning I nearly had a meltdown listening to the news. Worrying about my family, my clients, my community.

    I spent two hours helping a FB friend find her lost dog in my neighborhood today. Time I normally wouldn’t have had.

    My twin sister baked cake brownies because she didn’t have 2 boxes of cake or brownies. She did have 1 box of cake and another of brownie mix. Getting creative with what you have on hand can have hilarious and occasionally delicious results.

    The twins are now at home like millions of other children with parents who have no idea how to homeschool their children.

    My niece, Leigh Ann who is and always has been germaphobic called last night while I was on the phone with Cindy advised us that “she wanted to come home.”

    Cindy was silent and shocked. I answered for my twin telling Leigh Ann “no, you cannot come home and abandon your husband at Point Hueneme. Your home is there on base. Your home is with your husband. This is a time to hunker down. This is the time to circle your wagons and keep your family together and supported. You cannot jump in the car with a four year old child and leave the base and safety for the uncertainty of “coming home.” You are home. Straighten up and stop panicking. There are food shortages here. We cannot add more people in our boat.” My niece hung up.

    I mailed my son who lives 20 minutes away 2 packages of wipes and 2 boxes of Kleenex yesterday. I cannot find toilet paper.

    Thankfully, my daughter in law is breastfeeding my grandson as hoarders have wiped out all of baby formula from all store shelves to resell these necessary items at an exorbitant cost.

    Mothers are banding together and sharing what formula they have on hand with other mothers who cannot find or buy formula in stores.

    My son and daughter in law are using cloth diapers because finding diapers has become very difficult.

    Everyone is adjusting to a world of change. They have no choice.

    My niece, Stephaney who is in treatment in Grove, Oklahoma and has no idea what’s going on outside of her clinic. She is sheltered from the hysteria we are seeing in Fort Worth, Dallas and Houston areas.

    I’ve seen hoarding and I’ve seen unexpected acts of compassion. I’ve heard truck drivers concerned about where they will sleep or eat.

    I’ve read about people having problems finding medication as a run on pharmacies spreads throughout the United States.

    My husband went to one of our banks to draw out cash to keep on hand and was told there was a limit. This scared HIM. At nearly 70 years old, my husband has never been told by a bank that they couldn’t afford to dispense over 2k.

    I’ve heard about angry people trying to buy ammunition or guns who couldn’t find any.

    The fact that people are running out to buy guns and ammunition in a time of fear and panic GREATLY concern me.

    People arming themselves at this time of crisis are preparing to defend themselves. But, from what? Their neighbors? Rioting? Their own fear?

    I called my brother a Navy veteran yesterday to ask if Martial Law is coming to the United States after seeing Governor Abbott had enacted the National Guard.

    Like everyone else in Texas, seeing the Fort Worth PD has decided not to arrest Class C offenders, I was alarmed.

    In times of crisis, if you can’t call the police, who CAN you call?!

    Los Angeles County Jail is releasing inmates. Other states are following suit.

    My husband went to a Dr Appt yesterday at Harris Hospital and was screened prior to entering. Everyone is being screened at hospitals and Dr’s offices.

    My twin sister called in an order for a pizza and was told “don’t come in. Pay in the parking lot.” This was surprising.

    People at Grocery stores are literally violating social distancing in “panic buying hoarding mode” worldwide.

    My niece, Leigh Ann is trying to “come home” because the news media is scaring her about California running out of milk and toilet paper. All states are running out of staples not just California.

    The base at Point Hueneme has been out of toilet paper for two weeks.

    There isn’t a valid reason for Leigh Ann to “come home.” This isn’t a time to get in your car with a toddler and cross country to “come home.”

    Explaining the danger of leaving the base to Leigh Ann and reinforcing why “arguing with her husband who is now at home because the Navy has sent everyone back to base housing until further notice” hasn’t made my niece any less fearful. But, the reality of adjusting to having your spouse at home full time when you aren’t accustomed to it is an adjustment. It’s change and change makes people uncomfortable.

    My brother advised me that “the guard is being activated to prevent rioting. There are no indications of Martial Law.”

    My brother though has never seen anything like this. He is concerned too. Monroe, North Carolina had an E Coli outbreak last week and no bottled water anywhere.

    I told Leigh Ann that “Alex is a military member. He’s facing stress himself. The last thing he needs is his wife trying to make a run for it with his daughter. Be compassionate. Put your family first. Calm down!”

    Shelter in place means where you are not where you aren’t.

    I’m staying in close contact and updating everyone awaiting rescheduled dates of the changes taking place. Currently in Texas, I already have several reschedules at prisons in April.

    If you have not purchased your marriage license, it’s best to do so now if you can.

    IF YOUR MARRIAGE LICENSE EXPIRES while awaiting a reschedule, contact me. I will help cover the expense of getting you a new one.

    If you can’t get to the clerks office, don’t panic. We can redo your paperwork at the Unit after paperwork begins moving again.

    Texas marriage licenses are valid 90 days of issuance. If you cannot purchase your license, don’t worry. Things WILL return to normal.

    You CAN send a second affidavit to the Unit and the Law Library will notarize it. Previously notaries weren’t exactly excited to sign a second affidavit but they are aware of the timeline and will work with us to get the documents you need.

    For anyone unaware, FBOP, ICE, County and State Facilities within the United States are still currently not accepting visitors, attorneys or Approved Officiants. This current lock down is temporary. Remain calm.

    As for anyone else who is at home with children and/or unemployed at this time, please do not worry about making payments on your event with Texas Twins Events or TDCJ Officiant. Also, if your license expires waiting on a reschedule, we will get you another license. Stay calm.

    Take care of your family. Check on your neighbors. Stay in place.

    If you can’t find traditional household items where you usually shop, go to places you normally wouldn’t. Try the Dollar Tree, Dollar General, Big Lots, Family Dollar, Braums and other stores you previously wouldn’t have considered.

    Lowe’s and Home Depot have had water but it’s hit and miss. Trucks are coming. There will be toilet paper and I anticipate that once this crisis is over, it’s something that none of us will ever forget and something that we will always remember.

    Stay calm and stay in place if you are at home…

    Posted on

    Back At TDCJ Beto Unit & Big Surprises At TDCJ Units Revoking Visitation & Rescheduling Of Confirmed Dates…

    Monday while traveling from the Tarrant County Clerks Office to Parker and Palo Pinto Jails, my husband send me a text that read “buy toilet paper we are out.”

    This wasn’t an unusual request from my husband as I had left with a list of weekly items that I normally buy and stock once a week.

    I do not buy toilet paper every week because there are only two of us at our home and we don’t need or warrant more than 4-6 rolls at a time. But, this simple request would become extraordinarily difficult to find for me.

    Welcome to the toilet paper controversy with hilarious memes and people laughing at others buying toilet paper this past Monday.

    By Friday, the people laughing weren’t laughing.

    By Friday people in small town Weatherford were getting into fist fights over Charmin.

    By Friday I had seen the world change before my eyes. Hoarding and flipping hand sanitizer for $100 on eBay? I’ve seen it.

    Toilet paper for $20 a roll on FB Marketplace? I’ve seen it. People buying all of the cold medicine, alcohol, hand sanitizer and wipes as well as canned food items, sugar, meat and food while wiping out supplies for anyone else? I’ve seen it.

    I’ve seen some of the wildest scenarios in four days that I could ever imagine. I wish I hadn’t but I have.

    On Friday, Cindy and I took a break between clients to go to Walmart. Shelves were empty. Baskets over turned by angry customers left lying on their sides. Ransacked shelves empty greeted shoppers who didn’t expect this type of “mission” to buy toilet paper or anything else for that matter.

    Cindy and I left Walmart and headed to Dollar Tree. No toilet paper. No hand sanitizer. No bottled water.

    We then drove to Dollar General and found alcohol for the injections my husband gives me at home because going to the doctor once a week with my schedule isn’t convenient. The alcohol was 50% rather than 70% but it was better than nothing. We also found 2 packs of 4 roll toilet paper. There were only 2 packs of 4 roll TP in the store.

    We then left Dollar General and went to Albertsons. Still no hand sanitizer. There was coffee and cream and bread as well as eggs. The panic that would arrive a few days later hadn’t “hit yet.”

    I bought cantaloupe, watermelon, broccoli and my usual staple items including coffee and cream as well as salmon and chicken breasts and a few cans of soup.

    Had I known that there would be food shortages for my Sunday or Monday shopping depending on my schedule, I might have bought a few cans of soup more, some rice and even some beans or ramen noodles but, hindsight is 20/20.

    Monday prior to the hysteria and hoarding going on around me, I arrived home and prepared my suv for the drive to Beto Unit in Tennessee Colony on Tuesday to meet my bride. I had loaded furs, bouquets, hats and fun items from my Texas Twins Inventory and planned a leisurely drive to Beto Unit.

    Tuesday, I stopped in Corsicana to visit the Walmart and buy my new grandson the diapers and wipes since I couldn’t find at Cindy’s Walmart Monday.

    I would have a few problems finding either the diapers or the water wipes my daughter in law prefers in Corsicana.

    There weren’t people agitated racing down the aisles. There was bottled water. There wasn’t hand sanitizer or toilet paper, baby wipes or paper towels.

    I needed a few rolls of paper towels but decided I could wing it if I had to by using my tea towels at home.

    By Tuesday I still wasn’t alarmed. A few things were difficult to come by depending on where you went while others weren’t. No mass hysteria just YET.

    I left Corsicana Walmart and headed to Tennessee Colony/Palestine Texas to meet my client at Beto.

    While driving there, a herd of wild hogs came running across the 2 lane road with cars traveling 70-80 miles an hour. I saw the “hub bub” about half a mile ahead and slowed down thinking it was deer or elk.

    On closer inspection, it was something I had never encountered on the 300,000 miles I have driven getting to Units in Texas.

    Wild hogs? They were huge and could easily flip a car as their girth is low to the ground. I tip toed my way around the herd and traveled on wondering where they had come from and if a driver not paying attention wouldnt slow down until it was too late?

    Arriving at Beto, I find my bride in the parking lot. We walk in together. She’s thrilled. Her smile shows her joy. We clear in and wait on the chaplain.

    We walk to the traditional photo wall at Beto and it’s coveted with Coronavirus signs.

    Frankly, I don’t want to use the wall and have my clients photo peppered with Coronavirus signs on wedding day. I request using the tropical wall in the vending machine area instead and we are granted the privilege to do so.

    Leaving the Unit, my bride follows me to an old church just outside Palestine. I begin unloading and finding my favorite areas based on lighting and background. We are laughing and having a great time together. I hand her a bottle of water from my trunk and we spend a few minutes trying different areas and have fun celebrating her marriage.

    I love my job. We hug and say goodbye as I head to Dallas North Tower to meet my next client.

    Cutting through Tennessee Colony, I’m leery about another encounter with those wild hogs I saw a few hours earlier. My fear is confirmed when I see a hog on the side of the road outside of Cayuga, Texas. Someone wasn’t paying attention.

    Backroads in Texas give you a wide variety of surprises such as deer, elk, possums and armadillos which can jump straight off the ground four feet right into your grill. Wild hog herds though were a new one for me.

    Cautiously driving towards Corsicana aware that something else could jump out on the road, I’m unaware of the widespread panic spreading across America.

    I take calls from clients and Units. I check in with my husband and let my son and daughter in law know I will drop off diapers and other supplies I’ve found to them in the morning. I’m not worried about baby wipes because I assume I can find them. I will later realize I can’t.

    By the time I leave North Tower in Dallas, a phone call from my niece at Point Hueneme, California regarding “people fighting over toilet paper and water.” This IS DISTURBING. Toilet paper?

    Leigh Ann is frightened. People at the military base are no longer touching and running her ID. Instead, they are now simply looking at it.

    People are acting differently. Leigh Ann plans to go to Ventura and try to find bottled water. I advise her to wait until her husband comes back from work since her 4 year old, Madyson is a handful.

    Checking the clock on my Sahara, I don’t have time to file licenses in Tarrant County and decide to do so Wednesday morning on my way to drop off cold supplies to my son who has sinusitis and diapers for my grandson.

    I decide to stop in Lake Worth to buy groceries, juice and soup. There are no paper towels, water or toilet paper at Walmart. I buy meat, pasta, bread, lunch meat and cheese as well as juice. The supplies are low but I assume the trucks are coming or running behind.

    There aren’t entire empty shelves other than cleaning products, hand sanitizers and toilet paper or water. There is still fruit and vegetables. There is still soup, rice, beans and other staples.

    Wednesday morning with my Jeep loaded for my sons house, I head to the clerks office. There are signs regarding the Coronavirus everywhere. The governor of California has revoked visitors to prisons. This is alarming.

    I have 5 Units next week. Will TDCJ follow suit? I’m thinking no but my husband is thinking a strong maybe on my phone call to him leaving the clerk. “They are cancelling major events. NASCAR, golf, basketball. This is spiraling out of control. Update your clients and stay on top of changes. They will need to know what’s going on. Stay calm. This will pass but it may take a week or two.”

    I’m worried but helpless to change what’s coming. Leigh Ann is increasingly concerned watching the news by Wednesday. Costco and Sam’s are running out of everything.

    There is no hand sanitizer available anywhere. My son needs it as he is sick with a new baby. Cindy and I decide to make our own hand sanitizer.

    My son is getting better but still answers the door in a mask. I begin unloading an full of items for my son and his wife and begin cooking lunch for them while checking on the baby.

    Ollie is three weeks old and doing well but he’s fragile. He wears an Owlett sock to monitor his breathing, blood sugar and heart rate.

    Leaving my son fully stocked other than baby wipes, I drop in on my husband down the street from my sons development. McBee Homes is just a few miles away. I invite my husband to lunch.

    We choose Boo Ray about 1/2 a mile from McBee. It’s dead. There are very few people eating out. I notice it. My husband does too.

    My husband decides to ask about my schedule next week and any possible changes. It’s a full plate. I’m at Green Bay Unit Monday. Wallace and Middleton Units Tuesday. Allred and Roach Units Thursday. Estes Unit Friday then back to Green Bay and Parker County. I will be driving about 2300 miles.

    My husband again advises me “TDCJ may follow California. Caddo Parrish is also suspending visits.” Matthew like me is following prison news.

    I consider cancelled visitation at prisons before answering my husband. “Weekend visits are thousands of people at prisons. My client and I are two people. I’ve decided to add to my booster shots a phnuemonia shot just in case and after Cindy’s heart surgery, believe it wouldn’t be a bad idea for her either.”

    I’m still not even entertaining the possibility that TDCJ will cancel my confirmed dates. I cannot imagine having to tell my clients who have waited months that another delay looms in the future. I worry. I fret.

    I also head to Dr Stern for an adjustment. The stress of Leigh Ann in California and people hoarding along with the possibility that my clients could be rescheduled has me with a stiff neck.

    Dr Stern has been my trusted chiropractic go to for twenty years. He knows when I’m stressed I hold stress in my shoulders. My left shoulder is out. He pops it back in and goes over the importance of finding time to relax. I have none. Time is something I never have.

    Thursday morning, Cindy arrives at WorthamWorld. We have a list of things to buy for an upcoming wedding at Botanic Garden and head to Hobby Lobby. We both discuss the news media and coverage of this mysterious virus. We worry about Leigh Ann and Maddy in California. But, we don’t think mass hysteria is going to come to Weatherford or Fort Worth. We are both wrong.

    I talk my twin into getting a phnuemonia shot with me at Walgreens. We both walk into prisons on a regular basis. Keeping our vaccines up to date is important not only for our own health but also to keep from getting ill and possibly getting our family or clients sick too.

    I buy colloidal silver. I buy zinc. I listen to Cindy complain about her arm pain. I have it too but it will get worse later. So painful was my left arm and shoulder by 1AM that I woke my husband crying out in pain. I go get Aleve.

    My arm feels like it weighs 100lbs. I worry I’m having a bad reaction.

    At 3AM, I call Cindy. Her arm is killing her too. We are both highly concerned this pain will be permanent.

    I consider buying a sling the pain is so intense. After reviewing answers from others who have had the same shot, I decide to use my arm rather than prop it.

    Friday morning, I drive to Weatherford. Cindy sits for me to meet her after Parker County Clerks Office. We can’t find feminine items for Cindy’s twin granddaughters and decide to set out on a mission. The twins are picky. They are also brand loyal.

    Walmart is a mad house. Empty shelves and angry shoppers abound. We leave and go to Big Lots. We then leave and go to Albertsons. We then leave and go to Brookshires then H E B. We come up empty. There are no hygiene products to be found the Twins brand or otherwise.

    There’s a fist fight at Brookshires. In small town America? Willow Park of all places? Two grown men fighting over toilet paper.

    Someone is honking and yelling at someone else to pull out of a parking lot space. Angry honking which is rare in Texas is everywhere. People are agitated. Angry. Scared.

    Governor Abbott announced a state of emergency. He also suggested removing visits from nursing homes, prisons and large gatherings of people.

    Fifteen minutes later, TDCJ suspends all visitation. But, does this affect my clients and I as we go into Units during the week. I begin calling Units for next week. The revoked visitation affects my clients. Their dates are cancelled.

    Arriving home, I’m still fielding panicked clients in Texas and other states. I have no idea how long this will last.

    An email from Chaplain Rentz of Bridgeport Unit that reads “I’ve just got off a conference call with all Chaplains in TDCJ and they have Cancelled all Volunteer entry into Units throughout the state until further notice.”

    I’m still trying to determine if my clients are affected when I find that they are. Everyone will need to reschedule. People who have waited months for a very important date. People who will be saddened and disappointed. My people. My clients.

    Leigh Ann sends me photos and videos of mass hysteria in California. I advise her that Texans are equally terrified, angry and behaving in a manner I’ve never seen before.

    I’m 55 years old. I’ve seen a lot of things. I’ve lived through the gas crisis in the 60’s and 70’s. I’ve never seen people fighting over food. I’ve never seen people fighting over water or toilet paper.

    I’ve never seen anything like this mass hysteria occur in my lifetime. I hope I never see it again..watching people fight over gas as a child was something neither Cindy or I can or will ever forget.

    We are all in this together. Please don’t hoard essential items that others need. Please don’t leave home if you are ill and please wash your hands…