Behind The Glass, Absentee Affidavits, Unsworn Declarations & What To Wear To Your Prison Wedding…

No one is “comfortable about marrying with an inmate behind the glass.” Many of my clients never planned to marry in a Prison and much less to be separated by the glass.

On one rare occasion, I had a client nearly vomit due to her surprise and shock to see her future husband on the other side of the glass smiling at her. Walking into a visitation area at a Prison to marry is dramatically different from walking down an aisle. 

The glass was not only unexpected to my client but also me as she was unaware of his status being “upgraded” due to an infraction. Walking in to find her fiancée behind glass literally took her breath away. Thankfully, I was right beside her to steady her the last few feet leading up to the glass. 

Infractions can and do change an inmates status. At any point during the Prison wedding planning process, a change in the inmates status can prevent the inmate from being “on the other side of the glass” aka standing beside my client and I. 

I spent several minutes trying to calm my client who had driven from Houston to Tennessee Colony before proceeding with her wedding ceremony. She was facing a long and lonely drive home and I wanted to comfort her as much as possible. Frankly, I wished she had brought someone with her to have a ride a long. Many of my client choose to bring friends or family with them and although no visitors are allowed inside the Unit, these guests are happy to wait on my client and I. 

During the Prison wedding planning process, I become every Clients mother guiding them and directing them through the process whether they are male or female. 

One of my Gatesville clients still calls me “Mama Wendy” and is planning his vow revewal with my team next year. 

The intimacy of my Prison clients by far exceeds any amount of time spent with traditional clients. Why? Because from what to wear to what they can say or do, these unique clients rely heavily on me to get them through a confusing and time consuming process. 

I would never ask a traditional client to send me a photo of what they plan to wear. For a Prison wedding though, this is a standard question. 

Glass can be upsetting at a ceremony when it isn’t expected. The majority of my clients wait months for their wedding to be scheduled. 

Posing for a photo with glass separating my client and I from the inmate at the Unit, finding creative ways to pose was a bit of a hurdle.

At TDCJ Ferguson Unit, Nikia wasn’t at all uncomfortable with the glass. Instead, I was. Why? It was my very first time to encounter glass separating my client from the inmate. 

The photo below was taken by a guard and Nikia loved the way the glass “merged” their faces. It would be my first encounter with the glass but, it wouldn’t be my last as a Prison Wedding Officiant. 

The status of an inmate cannot be changed. If the inmate is a G4 or G5, a lifer or on death row, he or she will be behind the glass. Neither you or I can change that. We must accept that there will be glass separating you and I from the inmate and effectively move on. 

There are a number of creative ways to address your Unit photos with the inmate behind the glass and I encourage you to do whatever will make you more comfortable when posing for your Unit wedding photo if  (of course) photos of your wedding ceremony are offered at the Unit. 

Some of the most memorable prison photos were taken by Andrew Lichtenstein. These photos show families visiting inmates and give a “different glimpse” of the domestic aspects of Prisons. How so? By giving a glimpse of the children, spouses, grandparents and parents of inmates visiting them. 

Photos taken by Mr. Lichtenstein “on the other side of the glass” also feature children who may or may not understand why their parent is in prison. 

To view the gallery of “life in prison” by Mr. Lichtenstein, click this link– Andrew Lichtenstein Life In Prison.

Before my readers “zip off an email” regarding Danny Lyon’s photos taken in Texas Prisons during the 60’s and featured in Conversations With The Dead, I’m well aware of the book and in fact, I’ve read the book, Conversations With The Dead  published in 1971. It is a very emotional and heartbreaking read for anyone unfamiliar with the life of an inmate. 

Danny Lyon has long been considered one of the most original and influential documentary photographers and has produced numerous highly collectible photobooks, mounted solo exhibitions at the Whitney Museum of American Art, The Art Institute of Chicago, The Corcoran Gallery in Washington DC, and won two Guggenheim Fellowships, a Rockefeller Fellowship, and ten National Endowment for the Arts awards. Lyon divides his time between New York State and New Mexico. 

Other Danny Lyon photography books published by Phaidon include Danny Lyon: Memories of Myself (2009), Deep Sea Diver: An American Photographer’s Journey in Shanxi, China (2011), and The Seventh Dog (2014).

In an effort to educate those who may be unaware of Danny Lyon or the access that he was given by Dr George Beto to photograph Texas inmates, I will add include the link to Magnum Photography featuring photos from Conversations With The Dead and a warning that a few of Danny’s Prison photos are graphic and might be disturbing– Conversations With The Dead. Photography By Danny Lyon 1967-1968. 

Between 1967 and 1968, Danny Lyon spent 14 months photographing inside six Texas prisons. He had already made his name with his sustained reportage from the frontline of the black civil rights struggle in the southern US states, but shooting inside high-security penitentiaries in Texas, where some of the inmates were facing the death sentence, was an altogether more soul-sapping experience. He would later describe it as heartbreaking.

The resulting book, Conversations With the Dead, was published in 1971 and immediately hailed as a classic of insider reportage. 

Times have changed since the 60’s and 70’s as photographers and/or reporters are no longer given the access that Danny was. 

Today, Unit photos are offered for sale at $3 each in quarters and occasionally given to visitors. Wedding photos at Sanders Estes Unit are emailed to myself and my client at no cost. Private Units do not offer photos at all and often Unit photos are grainy and out of focus. Guards are not professional photographers. 

Prison Unit photos are often sent to inmates from loved ones who purchased them during their visit. Other Unit photos are often framed and kept in the homes of loved ones to remember their visit to a Unit while still others are put on refrigerator doors as a constant reminder of someone who may or may not ever be coming home. 
Being married to an inmate who will never be granted parole is a difficult and serious decision. You will always be pulling the wagon alone. I discuss the aspects of marrying a “lifer” on a regular basis with clients. 

How successful are my discussions? Hit and miss. Very few clients have changed their mind about marrying someone serving a life sentence. Why? Because they had given their choice to marry months and occasionally years of thought. Their commitment and sacrifice astounds me. It also astounds most other people. 

Being a Prison Wife or Husband can be a lonely and expensive lifestyle. Your weekends are spent driving to a Unit and going through a search while waiting to see your loved one. Your holidays are spent alone. You jump to answer the next expensive phone call and you dedicate your life to the inmate. My clients give up far more than the inmate. They sacrifice on a regular basis to make their relationship work. 

My clients are usually standing beside me at a Prison wedding unless the inmate is classified at a rank that prevents contact. The client and inmate are allowed to hold hands, hug (no inappropriate contact), and seal their marriage with a kiss (no open mouths). 

My clients are advised to “keep it classy” by me long before their wedding ceremony. After all, we are in a prison and as such, I expect my clients to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner pertaining to the visitation code as well as the Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate wedding ceremonies. I.E. We follow the rules. 

I completed a follow up interview with Kate, a journalist following the story of Luther and Mary a few days ago. If you missed my interview with Mary before her wedding to Luther, here’s the link– Wendy Wortham Interview With Mary Martin Wichita Falls, Texas.

Luther and Mary will never hold hands at a visit, hug or even a few months ago, seal their marriage with a kiss. I admitted that this struck me as somewhat sad to Kate because it did. 

Mary’s photos and interview with me feature a woman thrilled to be marrying an inmate serving a life sentence. Anyone looking at my joyous bride would have no idea that her life would always be spent visiting Luther “on the other side of the glass.” Mary wearing my clothing or tiaras and holding one of my bouquets in photos taken by my niece, Leigh Ann “looks like any other happy bride.” The difference in Mary’s marriage versus my traditional clients isn’t lost on me. There won’t be a honeymoon. There won’t be dinners together at home discussing the workday. Their won’t be the normality or predictability that most married couples share. My clients accept the lopsided aspects of being married to an inmate. 

The glass is heavy and often dirty. Occasionally, there are also cracks where an inmate struck the glass. The cracks bother me. Why? Because someone drove hours to visit the inmate. Because someone went through the screening process and because someone who cared enough to come visit the inmate was on the other side of the glass when the inmate effectively punched it. 

Acting as if the glass doesn’t make me uncomfortable in front of my clients is essential to performing my job functions. I put my anxiety in “the corner pocket.” 

Marrying a couple when one of them is behind the glass will always be more emotionally challenging for me solely because the couple cannot touch one another. The glass will always be between my clients and their spouse and although many of them accept this without mourning the fact, I mourn for their loss of ever touching their spouse. 

I am a seasoned wedding Officiant and planner. I’m also well educated regarding the limitations of legal remedies for couples who aren’t married. 

I’ve seen far too many tragedies in my lifetime with couples who were not allowed to marry prior to the Supreme Court ruling legalizing same sex marriage. 

Whether my clients are “inside a prison or outside of a prison,” the differences between both sets of clients are often staggering to the “outside world.” 

There are many options “in the free world” that will never be offered in a Prison for a wedding ceremony. As a Prison bride or husband, it’s essential to accept the rules pertaining to your upcoming marriage and more importantly, to abide by said rules and regulations regarding inmate marriage ceremonies. 

Accepting that my Prison Couples may never touch is just as sad for me as it is for them. Silently, I grieve their inability to have contact during the wedding ceremony. 

I have also (for many years) Officiated deathbed wedding ceremonies for certain individuals that never expected to die who (upon their deathbed) want to protect their loved ones by ensuring their material possessions go to them rather than the state upon their death. 

These incredible and extraordinary “situations” are equally sad for me but, I am well aware that many LBGT Couples have lost everything to their partners family after death because they had no legal recourse as a spouse. 

Times have changed and Marriage now protects the surviving partner and more importantly, the assets the deceased wished to leave to them. Thank goodness that LBGT couples can now have insurance and the rights so many of my friends have lived a lifetime without. 

I have thousands of friends in the LBGT community and for a number of years, officiated Unification Ceremonies for those who couldn’t legally marry in Texas as well as driving to Oklahoma to marry them in a state where marriage was legal long before Texas and many other states legalized same sex marriage. 

Jeff Mosier of the Dallas Morning News interviewed me upon the ruling regarding same sex marriage.

Previous to same sex marriage becoming legal, I also strongly suggested to my non married couples to obtain 5 legal documents that would protect their rights should one of them become ill or die. 

The reason I continued to advise my LBGT connections to obtain documents was to protect them.  I had written the blog titled “Five Legal Documents Every LBGT Couple Need” prior to Texas recognizing same sex unions because I had witnessed the fleecing of survivors in courthouses who effectively had No Legal Rights pertaining to burial or the assets of the Union. 

I’m often amazed at the failure of non married couples who don’t take the time to sign a Living Will or to get a Body Disposition Affidavit in order or at the very least, to have a Power of Attorney document in place should an accident render your partner incapable of making decisions on their own. 

But, not having any say regarding burial of your loved one can be a shocking surprise. It surprised my father. It also saddened me while we were forced to wait 30 days with Gretta “on ice” at the funeral home solely because her sister “claimed” she planned to make burial arrangements. As the next of kin, without any documentation giving my father the right to supersede Gretta’s sister, my father was forced to wait while Gretta decomposed. A month after her death, I went to the funeral home and chose clothing while carefully applying make up and jewelry to Gretta the day before officiating her funeral. Even the frigid temperatures couldn’t prevent the decomposition. It wasn’t what anyone who cared about her would have wanted. But, her sister only cared about control. Kathy never planned to make burial arrangements and sadly, my father and Gretta had failed to file for an Informal Marriage or have me Officiate a Formal Marriage due to Gretta’s sudden and unexpected death. 

No one is prepared for death. It’s often a dark stranger that sweeps those you love away before you realize how fragile life actually is.  

I’m well aware of laws pertaining to death and the loss of rights to survivors because I’ve seen the greed of the surviving family members personally. Fighting over money and assets without any degree of care regarding the impact to a survivor when  “holding up a burial” is a purely selfish act. 

If I’m advising you to protect yourself legally, I’m doing so only for your benefit because I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what my father did. What you don’t KNOW will hurt you. 

When one of my best friends, Charles, lost his thirty plus year partner, Dewitt, Charles also lost all of Dewitt’s material possessions to Dewitt’s family as well as the right to make burial decisions. Why? Because LBGT marriage wasn’t legal at the time AND because Charles and Dewitt had failed to take legal measures that would have given Charles far more legal remedies. 

Charles died shortly after Dewitt and I am guessing that his death was due in part to his broken heart. 

I was the last person to see Charles prior to his death and knew his will to live had been lost. Less than twenty four hours after my visit at Harris Hospital, Charles died in his sleep. Charles and Dewitt had shared a lifetime together but, Dewitt “came from money” and Dewitt’s family fought Charles to get the money back and won. 

At the end of Charles and Dewitt’s long life together, I couldn’t believe the ending would be as tragic as it was. Both surviving families continued to fight over the assets. Neither family wanted the treasured pets left behind though. I helped find foster homes for the cats Charles and Dewitt had loved so much. 

What is a Body Disposition Affidavit? The right to consumers in Texas to use a Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit or similar written instrument was created by the Texas Legislature several years ago and codified in section 711.002(g) of the Health and Safety Code. The provision was embedded in the law dealing with cemeteries and was overlooked by many.

This authorization form helps consumers secure the right to specify ones body disposition. This law provides that consumers wishes as expressed in such an instrument must be “faithfully” carried out by whoever has the legal authority to control the disposition.

The other primary advantage of the Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit is it’s use by people who want to be cremated. In the absence of a properly executed Affidavit, the funeral director must secure permission of ALL IMMEDIATE family members who have the authority to control disposition. 

For instance, in the case of several adult children scattered across the country, this often time consuming task can delay disposition and drive up the costs of funeral arrangements due to storing of the body until all interested parties can be located.

Using a Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit eliminates confusion and allows the cremation to proceed without unwanted delay. For those interested in body donation for medical research and teaching, the form provides for an alternative in the event the body is not accepted by the medical school because of it’s condition at the time of death.

A separate provision found in Section 711.002(b) allows consumers to designate the person or persons they want to control the disposition. The form Appointment of Agent to Control Disposition of Remains accomplishes this. If no one is appointed to control the disposition, the following persons, in the order listed, have the right to control the disposition:
1. The descendants surviving spouse

2. Any of the descendants surviving children 

3. Either of the descendants surviving parents

4. Any of the descendants surviving adult siblings, or

5. Any adult in the next degree of kinship in the order named by law to inherit the estate of the descendant.

The Appointment of Agent Form is useful in order for a persons wishes to be carried out after death. The Appointment of Agent Form avoids conflict among survivors and the Body Disposition Affidavit assures that the descendants wishes for body disposal will be carried out.

Section 711.002(g) also provides that consumers may make their disposition decision in a will or in a prepaid funeral contract.

A Living Will and subsequently the “ability to make medical decisions on your behalf” is also something I encourage my clients to consider. Whether it’s a Power Of Attorney or not, a Living Will is also essential to protecting your loved one from suffering for months in a medical setting. 

A Power Of Attorney is nice to have on hand but, it won’t give you the same amount of decision making when your loved one is facing death. A Do Not Resuscitate Order will. 

A (DNR) Order Do Not Resuscitate (DNR), also known as no code or allow natural death, is a legal order, written or oral depending on country, indicating that a person does not want to receive cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), advanced cardiac life support (ACLS), or other aggressive interventions if that person’s heart stops. 

An advance directive is a broad category of legal instructions you may set up for your healthcare. A living will is a document that falls into the category of advance directives. 

Therefore, a living will is a type of advance directive. Other types of advance directives include: durable power of attorney (aka health care proxy), do not resuscitate order, and organ donation form.

Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. A durable power of attorney for health care, which is also known as a health-care proxy in some states, allows you to appoint a representative to make medical decisions for you. You decide how much power your representative will or won’t have.

What is an Unsworn Declaration? To better understand, click on this link– Unsworn Declaration VS Absentee Affidavit.

Traditionally, Absentee Affidavits were used solely for military members. The Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate marriage changed this. 

Absentee Affidavits are required to be sent to the inmate who will then visit the law library to notarize the document and mail it back to their loved one. The Absentee Affidavit in combination with a Notarized ID is necessary to purchase the marriage license without the other party present. 

“Why do I need an Absentee Affidavit?” Because the state requires this document. 

“Why do I need a notarized ID?” To purchase the marriage license without the other party present, you will need to legally explain why the other party is absent with an Absentee Affidavit in order to purchase your marriage license. 

BOTH the ID and Absentee Affidavit must be notarized. The person appearing at the clerks office must also have a valid ID and the fee for the marriage license. 

The Unsworn Declaration WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED at the clerks office. You MUST HAVE a notarized Absentee Affidavit. 

If you are a client and encountering this issue at your fiancées Unit, contact me. I will help you obtain a notarized Absentee Affidavit from the Unit. 

There are two types of marriage licenses–Formal marriage license and Declaration and Registration of an Informal Marriage (Common law). The basic requirements are the same for both types of marriage.

Both parties must appear in person.
Both parties must be at least 18 years of age.

Must have a valid, government-issued picture identification. Names will be reflected on the marriage license exactly as they appear on the IDs. 

The County Clerk’s office cannot change the name or spelling of name on ID. Forms of acceptable, valid identification include:

Driver’s license

State ID

Passport

Military ID

Visa

Must know Social Security number.

A blood test is NOT required.

Consistently, I’ve advised my clients of protecting themselves and their assets by marriage. In certain cases, I’ve also suggested Prenuptial Agreements. The “client” is the person who hired me and NOT the inmate. Often, the person who hired either myself or my staff has significantly more assets than an inmate does. If I’m giving you sage advice that on occasion may include advising you not to marry your fiancée, my advice is based solely on my observations and conversations with you. 

Please remember that your needs and best interests are my priority. I’m “everyone’s mother” when planning a wedding whether the wedding will take place inside a Prison or on the outside. I’m honest, wise and well aware of the repercussions of trusting someone you don’t know well enough to dedicate your life and quite possibly your livelihood to. 

If you and your fiancée cannot appear together to purchase your marriage license, the use of an Absentee Affidavit “substitutes” for the person not present. 

The Absentee Affidavit is to be completed if an applicant is unable to appear personally before the County Clerk to apply for a marriage license. The other applicant may apply for a marriage license on behalf of the absent applicant.

“Why can’t I fill out and notarize the Absentee Affidavit for the inmate?” Because YOU ARE NOT ABSENT the inmate is. 

There cannot be any corrections to an Absentee Affidavit. Why? Because a Notary seal make it a legal document and corrections void the legality of the document. 

Marrying an inmate is a confusing and lengthy process. Neither you or I can control the timelines involved. We wait on the ID. We wait on the I60 and we wait for a date.

“Why can’t I wear what I want to my wedding?” Because inmate weddings follow dress code guidelines. “What WILL HAPPEN IF I WEAR SOMETHING OUTSIDE THE VISITATION DRESS CODE? After all, I don’t want to look like a nun.” 

Okay, there are two options to “wearing what you want” neither are going to have the outcome you desire. First- you can be required to wear a cafeteria smock. 

Secondly- if you refuse to wear the cafeteria smock, your wedding will be cancelled due to non compliance. 

Thirdly, your payment will not be refunded because I have done my part by driving to your Prison wedding. 

I strongly discourage all of my clients about “winging it with their clothing.” I have solid reasons for asking you to send me photos and those reasons are to protect you from a “walk of shame in a cafeteria smock” or having your wedding cancelled because you refused to wear the smock. Please be aware of visitation dress code guidelines. 

“Why can’t I bring a guest?” Because rarely and I mean rarely have guests or witnesses ever been allowed inside a prison for a wedding ceremony.

In years of officiating inmate weddings, only three times have guests been authorized to attend a wedding ceremony at a Unit. 

The THREE weddings with guests allowed have all been at Sanders Estes Unit. No other Unit has offered to allow a guest to attend an inmate wedding.I’m well aware of any and all rules pertaining to inmate marriage within any state either I or my staff conduct ceremonies within at Prison Units. There are strict limitations pertaining to what you CAN and CANNOT do at a Prison. 

Although a few of my clients may wish to argue these points on occasion, please remember that my staff or myself are acting in your best interest by telling you what you can do and advising against what you cannot do. 

“Why can’t I bring a ring?” Because Section K of the Administrative Directive specifically prohibits ring exchanges. There is no “rule bending” regarding Offender Property.

“Why can’t I bring a change of clothes for the inmate? I don’t want our wedding photos with him wearing Prison issued clothing.” Because once again, Offender Property guidelines strictly prohibit bringing anything in to give to the inmate.

“What can I bring?” You are REQUIRED to bring the marriage license, your current and valid state issued ID or passport, your car keys and quarters in a clear plastic bag to purchase Unit photos if they are offered.

“What can you bring?” My ID, my car keys and my Bible as well as notes inside my Bible. If you have handwritten vows or anything else written on paper, you MUST give these to me prior to entry. I will put your notes in my Bible and give them to you at the commencement of the ceremony.

Weddings “on the outside” include guests, bouquets, vendors, cake, and all of the other elements that “weddings on the inside don’t.” 

The majority of my Prison wedding clients re book upon release of their loved one for Vow Renewals. 

Everything you couldn’t do “on the inside” including your choice of clothing, a wedding ring, guests and the like are included at your Vow Renewal. Fees are based on distance from Fort Worth, Texas.

I hope this explains and subsequently, answers your questions and I look forward to meeting you at your Prison Wedding soon… 

Taken. You Hear The Stories But, You Never Expect To Be Involved In One Of  “Those Stories”..

Last Saturday, my twin sister and I said goodbye to my niece Stephaney as her journey to Valdosta, Georgia began. Stephaney was excited and looking forward to spending a few months on a beautiful ranch with horses, rolling meadows and atv’s. 

Cindy and I felt surely the change of scenery in Georgia would be good for my niece. Our entire family were “on board” with this decision for Stephaney to give Georgia a try but, within days we would greatly regret sending Stephaney to Georgia.

My niece is 31 years old. She is beautiful and she is Bipolar One. Stephaney also struggles with meth addiction and self medication. For 16 years, my twin sister and I have tried to “save Stephaney.” 

It would be while trying to save Stephaney (yet again) that would put my family far too close to losing Stephaney to “the wrong person.” A person who wanted her solely to benefit financially from having her. 

I’m including a photo of my niece because being pretty was an asset to Jane Doe. The person who tricked my family into sending Stephaney to Valdosta, Georgia.

After putting Stephaney on the second bus bus to Valdosta last Saturday, (I will explain the first bus fiasco momentarily), Cindy and I walked back to my SUV after saying goodbye to Stephaney while double checking she had plenty of money and two suitcases with everything she might need at the Dallas Greyhound Terminal.

I remember watching my niece get settled into the bus and praying for a safe journey. Cindy and I walked back to one of our black suvs and finally felt that “worrying about Stephaney” was something that we could stop doing on an hourly, daily, and weekly occurrence for the first time in 19 months  as we waved goodbye to her on the bus. Or so we thought. 

Cindy and I left Dallas to drive straight to Eastland, Texas to meet our Saturday client and begin a jam packed weekend of 6 events for my main company, Texas Twins Events. There wasn’t time to grab a bite as we began a long day after several days of staying at a hotel with Stephaney waiting on the second bus that would eventually take her right into the greedy arms of Jane Doe. The person we believed had a beautiful sprawling ranch and who also helped people with mental illness and addiction problems. The person who had convinced our family of what an “angel” she was. Umm hmm. Jane Doe was nothing if not elaborate regarding convincing our family to send Stephaney to Georgia. 

“Traditional bookings” occupy my nights and evenings year round but, during wedding season, the combination of Monday through Friday inmate wedding services at Prisons and Jail combined with my “traditional” weekend and evening bookings gives me no spare time at all. 

Cindy and I could finally put all of our tears, anger and frustration regarding “fixing Stephaney” far behind us as we headed to Eastland or so we thought. 

The Texas Twins were about to embark on a journey so surprising and shocking while we continued to juggle our TDCJ Clients, Texas Twins Events Clients and our lives that the details of losing Stephaney will enlighten and astound you. We would effectively be “balancing a juggling act of looking normal for clients” while dealing with trying to save Stephaney by Monday when her bus finally arrived in Valdosta.

I “fell” for the “trap that I was led straight into.” Jane Doe should have used her talents for the entertainment industry because she would have made one helluva actress. Her fluid flare for dishonesty would be unmatched by anyone that I have ever encountered. 

Cindy and I were “easy targets” for Jane Doe though due mainly to our transparent nature. We have always been honest about our lives and our journey. It isn’t an easy path but life doesn’t have an “easy button.” Dealing with Stephaney had literally worn my twin sister and I both to the bone. 

Looking normal for clients and our existing family would be the hardest thing we’ve managed to do in years but, we did. My husband had other issues at a development while Cindy’s husband was dealing with issues at Cindy’s home. 

Cindy and I have never hid the fact that Stephaney and her choices have created a carnival of chaos for us both. 

At 15, Cindy and I were homeless and eating out of trash cans. It’s important you know this. We had nothing at one time in our lives and worked to becoming something. 

Because of our history, Cindy and I also knew that desperate people either take the right path in life or they don’t. Jane Doe had NOTHING. We wouldn’t know this though until it was too late. Jane Doe also chose the wrong path in life. Jane Doe was an opportunist. A parasite. A person who looks for “opportunities” regardless of who is hurt. 

Jane Doe is the most devious person that I have ever encountered or may ever encounter in this lifetime. She wanted Stephaney and like idiots, we had delivered her. 

For people who have nothing, everything is worth something. A half eaten sandwich in a trash can years ago was worth something to two homeless and starving teens. We felt lucky and blessed to find that half eaten sandwich without mayonnaise. Why? We had learned not to eat anything from a trash can with mayonnaise because we would get sick. 

Without understanding our own background and struggles, you will never know why Jane Doe wanted Stephaney so badly. Luckily, one day, the police found Cindy and I digging through the trash and saved us by taking us to Women’s Haven. We were truly blessed on that day and finally off the street. 

Jane Doe would create and fabricate a false life and false reasons to get Stephaney to Valdosta. Jane Doe had nothing but, Jane Doe took the wrong path. Jane Doe chose two fighters. We would fight back after learning the actual details too. 

Most everyone is aware that Cindy and I have had more than our share of heartache with Stephaney. While other thirty one year olds are taking their parents to dinner, my thirty one year old niece was dragging my twin sister and I through one emotionally traumatizing escapade right into the next. From jail to Psych Wards and everywhere in between, any degree of predictable behavior effectively flew out the window when Stephaney relapsed. 

A few months ago, Jane Doe “reached out” to help Cindy and I with Stephaney by offering a change of scenery. This invitation was what I had thought at the time, a literal Godsend. But, Jane Doe had other reasons for wanting to “help us with Stephaney.” At the time Jane Doe contacted me, Stephaney was back in a mental institution again. We’ve had nearly two years of the Merry Go Round that Stephaney’s addiction and mental illness have brought into our lives now. Jane Doe was about to use her knowledge to an advantage regarding my niece. 

The phone calls and messages between Jane Doe and I went on right until yesterday. It would be the last time I would ever correspond with her again. It would also be the last time I would trust someone without checking their “story” and “background” out myself too. 

Jane Doe was the “Devil In Disguise.” She’s where she won’t be able to hurt anyone anymore and she belongs there. Jane Doe should have tried to earn an honest living. 

Had I gone to Valdosta, Georgia myself and seen in where I was really sending my niece, I can promise you that Stephaney would never have left Texas. 

But, Jane Doe was smart enough to know that Cindy and I work seven days a week and that Cindy is the custodial parent of Stephaney’s twin daughters, Maryssa and Makenna who are both currently enrolled in public school. I couldn’t fly to Georgia due to my schedule. Cindy couldn’t fly to Georgia due to her responsibilities. 

Cindy, Stephaney and I were “the perfect marks.” Jane Doe chose my family because we were also effectively “easy targets.” 

“I’m a fantastic actress. My sister is too. The majority of our clients have no idea that we can effectively forget the chaos in our lives in order to focus on the client standing in front of us. My role demands that I turn my back on the choir to focus on the congregation.”

Wendy M Wortham

The “choir” is and always will be my family. Throughout my life, I’ve shifted focus when working directly to my clients. The “peanut gallery” of my life regarding my family is behind me rather than in front of me intentionally. What you are about to read will surprise you just as much as it hurts me. Shifting the focus from my family to my work put me at a disadvantage. 

Trusting the “wrong person” also put my niece, Stephaney in a very dangerous position. Jane Doe knew my habits, my schedule and my thought process. Jane Doe had followed my posts and blogs for years. Jane Doe had researched me. 

Jane Doe had also claimed that she wanted to “help Stephaney” by inviting her to Georgia and she expertly “soothed every fear or concern” we had with the talented cunning of an incredibly smooth con artist. How so? Jane Doe was fully aware that Cindy and I were at our wits end after 19 months of trying to get Stephaney on track. We had effectively tried everything humanly possible and we had failed over and over again. 

The fear of losing my niece yet again and one day having to bury her if Cindy and I couldn’t “fix Stephaney” were the sole reason that I even entertained a “change of scenery.” 

Maybe Jane Doe had been hoodwinking her way through most of her life by taking advantage of others? I don’t know but, I know this, Jane Doe had plenty of time to execute a plan to get my niece several states away. I should add that isolation was part of “the plan.” 

Jane Doe was in deep country miles away from the nearest store. At the time she initially contacted me, the distance from “town” wasn’t an issue as Jane also claimed to have transportation to “take Stephaney to MHMR on Tuesday after she got settled in.” Jane Doe had also convinced JPS that getting Stephaney a counselor immediately wouldn’t be an “issue.” 

Jane Doe knew Stephaney wasn’t on Social Security Disability due to mental illness. How? She asked me. I told her we would send money every Friday and that Stephaney would find a job within days. Stephaney enjoys working. She always has. 

There’s a reason Stephaney isn’t on SS Disability. Stephaney wants to work. It was an odd question but, Jane Doe had her reasons and they were entirely based on the amount of money Stephaney could generate right into her hands. The fact that Cindy and I would also be sending money to Jane Doe while she sneakily attempted to  sign Stephaney up for food stamps and SS wouldn’t “surface” for 24 hours after Stephaney arrived in Valdosta. 

We had no idea how or why Jane Doe would become so upset at setbacks getting Stephaney to Georgia. Who would? What was the hurry? But, Jane Doe had nothing. No food, no water, no electricity, no job, no car, nothing. Jane Doe was great at fabricating the life she would never have. Jane Doe was also planning to use my niece to obtain the financial freedom she was unwilling to earn the hard way. 

After 16 years of dealing with the unpredictable and often chaotic behavior of my niece, Cindy also took the time to take photos of Stephaney’s medication and the location for MHMR in Valdosta. 

Our entire family had believed my niece was going to a “luxurious ranch.” Jane Doe is a convincing liar and manipulator. 

We document everything. Cindy and I always have with Stephaney. She loses her medicine, her cell phone, her clothes, her ID and everything else all of the time. 

Cindy and I have spent thousands over and over again replacing all of the items Stephaney loses for years. Stephaney’s medication is incredibly expensive. She has no health insurance. 

Jane Doe made several promissory statements to JPS regarding Stephaney’s release that would later literally “uphold everything” I would be forced to explain to both the DA and AG. I never say anything I cannot prove. 

Cindy and I effectively had a paper trail. Jane Doe never anticipated that Cindy and I both would document everything about this “wonderful and relaxing excursion to Georgia” but, we did. 

Alleging someone is being held against their will is a serious crime. Before you even consider making such a statement to law enforcement, be certain of the facts. I was. 

Cindy also included in those faxes to the DA and AG numerous screenshot messages and unkept promises from Jane Doe. 

Cindy and I could easily prove my niece was released from JPS Trinity Pavillion to the care of Jane Doe and when Jane Doe would have Stephaney with her rather than us. Within days of leaving Texas on a Greyhound bus, my niece would effectively be fighting for her life in Georgia. 

Within days, I would be fighting to get my niece out of the filth Jane Doe lived in. But, I would get my niece back and while doing so, I would also hold Jane Doe accountable. 

While I was saving Stephaney, I would also save Jane Doe’s children from her too. 

Those children had been through numerous CPS investigations. I would open another investigation myself within 48 hours of my niece arriving in Valdosta. Hearing and understanding why I contacted CPS will shock you. 

Jane Doe was abusive to not only her own children but also the most negligent parent I’ve encountered aside from my own mother who also starved and later sold her four children for $50 each to go buy heroin. I’m not “unfamiliar” with negligent parents. In fact, I’m more than “familiar” with them. 

Stephaney’s counselors have always regularly “checked in” with Cindy or I as to where Stephaney was and whether she was taking her medication. Like her mother and I, the counselor also believed “a change of scenery would be beneficial to Stephaney’s recovery.” We were all terribly wrong. Not one of us but all of us including Stephaney. 

Jane Doe had convinced JPS that “Stephaney would be in good hands.” Jane Doe NEVER took Stephaney to MHMR on Tuesday. Why? Because my niece wasn’t ever going to be allowed to leave once she had arrived. Jane Doe wanted Stephaney for financial gain alone. 

Jane Doe was so convincing about her beautiful home and idea about a change of scenery that even the psychologists treating my niece didn’t question her. Stephaney’s medications are nearly $1k. 

On March 26 @ 10AM, Cindy picked up Stephaney while I was headed to TDCJ Michael Unit with my son. Cindy would buy Stephaney whatever she needed for her trip to Valdosta the following morning. Together, Cindy and I would take Stephaney to Greyhound in Fort Worth. Stephaney was excited about her trip. She loves nature and horses and was looking forward to “getting back to nature.” 

There would be setbacks getting Stephaney to Georgia as Jane Doe rubbed her hands together waiting on Stephaney to leave Texas. 

Stephaney was nervous about leaving her family behind. We all were. We hoped for a positive 2-3 month visit but, after four days with Jane Doe, my niece would never be the same again. 

It would take great lengths to save my niece but, I did. Cindy and I went to any and all means necessary to get Stephaney back. We were lucky Stephaney wasn’t moved. Had she been, we may never have seen her again after sending her to Jane Doe. 

Stephaney was called “my human” by Jane Doe. I wouldn’t know this until after she had arrived in Valdosta. The first time I heard this term, I was furious. But, Jane Doe had Stephaney. Cindy took the above photos to specifically remind Stephaney daily to take her medication and when to take it. Cindy has also paid over and over to purchase cell phones for Stephaney. 

My twin sister and I have spent so much money on treatment for Stephaney the last 16 years that we could both buy two houses. We don’t give up easily. We never have. 

Cindy had bought yet another cell phone for Stephaney on March 26th while I was in Tennessee Colony at Michael Unit the day before our first fiasco of trying to get Stephaney on the original bus to Valdosta. Read on. 

On Monday April 1st (ironically April Fool’s Day) at approximately 10:37AM after months of being “groomed” by Jane Doe into sending Stephaney to Valdosta, a call from “Jane Doe” came in. “Stephaney has arrived. I’m so excited. She’s really going to love it here.” 

Because Jane Doe had called me while Stephaney was midway through her trip about conveniently “having a car accident,” I asked “who was driving?” This is important as Jane Doe wasn’t even at Greyhound in Valdosta. Her cousin was. My niece was getting off a bus to meet someone she had never even spoken to. Someone my niece was completely unfamiliar with. A cousin that knew my niece had “just left a mental facility.” A cousin that also knew “the crazy girl has a rich family in Texas.” 

Jane Doe had told her entire family about Stephaney. Jane Doe’s cousin told my niece who thought she was going to a luxurious ranch that Jane Doe was also a prostitute. This would be Stephaney’s first glimpse into the reality she was heading into. 

Why didn’t Stephaney return to Greyhound and call us? Because her mother and I had told Stephaney to “work it out in Georgia. Prove yourself. Show your family that you are ready to get your life on track.” 

I can only imagine what Stephaney was thinking as the cousin drove her further and further into the woods. It’s horrifying to comprehend. Headed to a prostitute? A pretty girl who thought she was going to a wonderful ranch? 

For hours I wondered why my niece wasn’t calling but had another call coming in each time I planned to call and check on her. 

Within minutes of Stephaney’s arrival at Jane Doe’s “residence,” the words “make this work” from my sister and I would ring in Stephaneys ears over and over again. She knew she was far from help or even a neighbor. Jane Doe had taken Stephaney’s money, toiletries and more importantly, her state issued ID and SS Card as well as her cell phone. Stephaney was stuck. 

My niece would later admit that she was also panicking. After Jane Doe had removed any and all of Stephaney’s personal belongings that Cindy and I had carefully packed into two suitcases, Jane then bartered them to her accomplices AKA her relatives. Jane Doe was like a buzzard. She took her time attacking her prey. 

Walking into a filthy home with no food or running water, Stephaney would later describe slipping in dog feces on the floor. The filth covered one end of the trailer to the other. This wasn’t a luxury ranch. There never was a “luxury ranch” for patients with mental illness to “get back to nature.” Jane Doe was no longer the happy and festive person we had come to know either. She was mean to her children and my niece. The older children said menacing things to my niece. Where had they heard such threats? Their mother, Jane Doe who also didn’t send those children to school. 

Jane Doe told my niece “you are mine now. I own you.” Jane Doe had children living in the filth without food, water or electricity. The filthiest environment my niece had ever encountered in her life. One of Jane Doe’s older children threatened to cut off Stephaney’s toes if she tried to leave. 

Going through my workday on April 1st, I continued answering incoming calls while headed to Jacksboro, Texas to begin my day of county jail Weddings. I was hoping Stephaney was getting settled into her room facing a beautiful lake. With a stunning veranda surrounded by pine trees. Jane Doe really went all out with her description. As far from reality as you can imagine in fact. I waited for a call from my niece. 

It would be Cindy that Jane Doe would have Stephaney call rather than me Monday evening some 10 hours after arriving in Valdosta and I’m certain trying to understand how she was going to leave or escape what a situation that must have been more than a little traumatic for Stephaney while Jane Doe ordered her to “call and get Wendy or Cindy or both of them to send me more money. Tell them I need $450 to turn on the electricity.” 

Hours after arriving at a Hell Hole, my niece was now being “put up” to calling her mother to send several hundred dollars? Yes. What would happen if we refused? Now you are catching on. Jane Doe HAD Stephaney. Her mother and I were no longer in control. 

Not having to worry about Stephaney and knowing she would be in good hands at a “beautiful ranch” was (I thought) a luxury for our entire family. In my mind I thought “Stephaney isn’t calling because she’s having so much fun.” Omg. I cannot believe how far off I was on the truth. That phone call was our first wake up call. No electricity? But, things would get worse. 

With Stephaney’s bags ransacked, her money taken, her life at the hands of Satan, my fragile niece assumed that she would never escape. Who could blame her? 

Jane Doe wanted Stephaney because she knew once she had Stephaney that Cindy and I would do whatever we were told. Jane Doe would underestimate Cindy and I though. People often do. We came from nothing ourselves and are far more resilient and determined than most folks. 

Jane Doe had assumed that Cindy and I were stupid but, Jane Doe and her dirty plan were about to backfire between Monday and Friday. Sure we would send money but only to keep Jane Doe from hurting Stephaney until we could get her out of there. I would stop at nothing to remove Stephaney from the situation she was in solely because we trusted Jane Doe. 

I had envisioned my niece horseback riding and unpacking, my niece was actually trying to find a way out. I never have a day off. Cindy doesn’t either. We have “full plates” 24/7. When we aren’t dealing with clients, we are dealing with our own families. It’s a lot to handle. Assuming Stephaney was happily adjusting in Georgia  came to an abrupt halt that Monday hours after her arrival with a phone call for $450.

Cindy and I were about to be in for one of the most incredible encounters with someone willing to do anything to get what she wanted that we would never forget trusting the wrong person again. Experience is one helluva teacher. 

My niece doesn’t “act insane” on a daily basis and would later tell me that “everyone called me crazy and accused me of talking to myself.” Jane Doe was a bully. I wouldn’t know this from her previous phone calls, texts or emails though. 

Cindy and I would realize the depths of Jane Doe’s deception when Stephaney continued to find her hidden cell phone and attempt to call. Jane Doe would be screaming at my niece before grabbing the phone and hanging up. 

I don’t believe Jane Doe ever even had a car to be honest with you. The entire car accident claim after we had said goodbye to Stephaney in Dallas was fabricated. My niece said a broken down car was on the property but it hadn’t run in years. 

I don’t believe that taking Stephaney’s clothing, hygiene products, perfume and other was as “confusing” as Stephaney thought it was either. “Everything is worth something to people who have nothing.” Cindy says this all the time because it’s true. Jane Doe had nothing. She would take whatever she could from Stephaney because it was worth something to someone. No water? No problem. Jane Doe would trade Stephaney’s possessions for something else. Stephaney wouldn’t tell us about the water until Wednesday while Cindy and I were in Huntsville. 

Originally, Cindy and I had planned to fly Stephaney to Valdosta but, Stephaney has only been on a plane twice in her life and although we had a setback trying to get her on a bus Wednesday March 27th that resulted in my niece being taken to Dallas County Jail due to a felony warrant regarding a probation revocation in Cotton County, Texas. This was the “original setback.” Stephaney had boarded the first bus in Fort Worth to Dallas. During the layover in Dallas, an argument escalated resulting in blunt force trauma to my nieces head. The injuries went unchecked until after bonding her out of Dallas County Jail and taking her to Harris Hospital while waiting on the next bus. This time Cindy and I drove Stephaney to Dallas and waited with her in the event of yet another brawl at the Dallas Terminal. 

By the time Stephaney finally boarded the second bus in Dallas, Texas on March 30th at 8:30AM in Dallas bound for Valdosta, I was relieved to finally stop worrying about my niece. RELIEVED. Maybe we could finally get Stephaney back on track. 

Maybe this time we had a shot at being a normal family? Fresh air and sunshine. Working on the ranch and attending counseling sessions were the “plan” for Stephaney her mother and I had envisioned. 

Surviving would be the plan Stephaney was living out in Georgia. Tuesday, Stephaney did make one attempt at escaping. Tuesday, Stephaney also became lost and cut by briar bushes in the deep country. Things would unravel within hours and the following days. Realizing that she couldn’t escape or run away, Stephaney would use brief phone calls to tell her mother or I what was going on with Jane Doe in Valdosta, Georgia. 

It would take time for my niece to honestly “enlighten” Cindy and I to the extreme poverty Jane Doe lived in but, eventually Stephaney would tell us. Had she told us sooner, we would have found a way to get her out before Friday. 

By Monday evening at 6:27PM, Jane Doe had Stephaney call Cindy. “They don’t have any electricity out here. I need you to wire $450.” This was the first red flag. Cindy could hear Jane “coaching” Stephaney in the background. Angrily coaching I might add. 

While I was sleepless in Fort Worth and Cindy sleepless in Weatherford again regarding Stephaney, the curtains to this charade with Jane Doe that we had fallen into were beginning to be pulled aside to let the real show commence. Less than 24 hours after arriving, Jane Doe had Stephaney calling us for money? 

Cindy called me. I advised her that I was confused as to how anyone on a 40 acre ranch could be without electricity. Who on earth doesn’t pay their electric bill? 

Jane Doe said she knew me from years ago. I had apparently met Jane Doe years ago on location at an event for TCGPWA. I couldn’t remember her. I meet hundreds of people at events. 

Jane Doe knew a LOT about me. I knew nearly nothing about her. “Oh you remember me don’t you? I’m contacting you because I really would like an opportunity to help your niece, Stephaney. I’m in Georgia and it’s just beautiful here. A change of scenery will do her good. Ya all have tried to help Stephaney. I’ve seen your posts but, maybe it’s time to try somewhere else.”  

Jane Doe was an acquaintance. If she was anything more than an acquaintance, I would have remembered her. She wasn’t a friend or even close friend. 

These “Jane Doe” messages and phone calls would go on for weeks in fact, nearly two months. “Friendly and loving while saying all the RIGHT THINGS,” Jane Doe even called Stephaney while a patient at Trinity Springs Pavillion. 

Jane Doe spoke to Cindy and I for hours for nearly two months. Jane Doe had invested her time wisely by playing all of us for what SHE wanted. 

Jane Doe had finally convinced me, my twin sister, Stephaney and even one of Stephaney’s twin daughters, Makenna, of what a wonderful person she was who “only wanted to help our family with Stephaney” by the time Stephaney agreed to go to Georgia. 

My family was being “groomed.” We wouldn’t even know what grooming was until losing Stephaney to Jane Doe. I had never heard of “grooming” before explaining to the DA what was going on and why I needed my niece to be “extracted.” 

By then, it was far too late to change the dynamics of a trap we had stepped right into. 

Cindy had doubts. “Why would she want to move Stephaney to live with her for the summer” I had waived my sisters concerns aside. “She’s a nice person who wants to help people. Why question the kindness of someone reaching out because they care about our family and want to help?” 

I saw this “invitation” for Stephaney to explore Georgia during my busiest time of the year as a gift. I was also naive and so happy to have a few drama free months with a burdened schedule that I never really questioned the reasons Jane Doe was so anxious to get Stephaney to Georgia. 

Hell, I was more than happy to send money to Georgia if it would keep us from looking for Stephaney again and again. Cindy was too. But, we were never willing to put Stephaney in harms way.  

The original setback was when Stephaney had originally left the Fort Worth terminal headed to Dallas to layover to Georgia. Unbeknownst to me, a warrant in Cotton County regarding a probation revocation had been issued on Stephaney. 

A “scuttle” at the Dallas Greyhound Terminal was why my niece was arrested rather than taken to a hospital after being beaten by another passenger. This would be a setback of several days for Jane Doe to get her Golden Goose. Jane Doe was VERY upset about Stephaney being arrested and detained at the Dallas County Jail North Tower. I had thought Jane Doe was so upset regarding the arrest because she was actually concerned about Stephaney. It never occurred to me that Jane Doe was waiting with baited breath on her “golden goose.” 

The “setback” of Stephaney’s arrest in Dallas would have sent Stephaney straight to prison in Oklahoma. Acting quickly, Cindy and I immediately found an attorney to address Oklahoma and pay off the bonds and fines. Stephaney was excited leaving Fort Worth to Georgia and terrified at Dallas County Jail when she had called her mother and I after being arrested. We were both angry. Another setback? Another surprise? Again? But, we took care of Cotton County. We also picked up Stephaney and rented a hotel. We were exhausted. I bought another bus ticket online. The next bus didn’t leave for a few days. Jane Doe continued calling and asking “when Stephaney was leaving for Georgia?” 

Jane Doe assumed she had lost the golden egg when Stephaney was arrested. But, the “shipment” AKA my niece was delayed only for a matter of days. 

Meanwhile, Cindy and Stephaney were enjoying life. We had a few unexpected days with Stephaney to go to the movies, shopping, and even drive to Hobby Unit with one of my clients on a road trip. 

Stephaney was having a great time with her family. Stephaney’s daughter, Makenna also joined her Mom and told her “I’m proud of you. Get your life together and we can be a family again Mom.” 

Makenna was inadvertently reinforcing telling her mom to “work it out in Georgia.” We all did. We all made a mistake. We all assumed that Stephaney was going to a beautiful place with the possibility of getting her head on straight. A chance to finally get my niece back was worth whatever the cost to me. But, nothing was worth my niece being abused, starved or forced to live in filth. 

Looking back, all of the signs were there. The flags. I couldn’t see them. I was far too busy and quite frankly, exhausted. Cindy and I have spent nearly 17 years trying to find any degree of normality with Stephaney.

After a week of working while trying to get Stephaney to Valdosta after her Dallas arrest at Greyhound, Cindy and I had taken turns keeping an eye on Stephaney waiting for her to board the second bus to Georgia. 

Stephaney regularly goes off her meds and gets lost. We regularly have spent days or weeks trying to find her again. Now you know how mentally exhausting having a relative with mental illness actually is. Unless you have a loved one with mental illness and addiction issues, you will never begin to comprehend the emotional and financial devastation loving them brings to your life. I do. Cindy does. Stephaney’s children do to. 

Now you understand why I didn’t question a break from Stephaney with “clean air, rolling meadows and a safe and loving environment.” I saw a window of a few “drama free months” and I wanted to open that window. Did I see danger? Absolutely not. 

After 16 years of Stephaney, Cindy and I were thrilled to have found a solution. Stephaney enjoys working. Jane Doe told her she had talked to a Mexican restaurant that would hire her. 

Jane Doe had each and every base covered. Jane Doe had an answer for every question. A solution to every concern. 

I believe Jane Doe has done this type of scenario before. No one would be as smooth and cunning without experience. 

I had tried to call my niece by Monday at about 4PM since I hadn’t heard from her since she had arrived. Jane Doe answered Stephaney’s cell phone and said “I’m cleaning out the master bedroom for her. I want her to have the best room in the house. She’s fine. She’s enjoying the beautiful backdrop and wildlife of Georgia. I will tell her you called.” Like an idiot, I believed Jane Doe. 

By 6:34PM, Jane Doe was coaching Stephaney into demanding several hundreds dollars on the day Stephaney arrived from my twin sister?! Stephaney sounded nervous my sister had said. Something was wrong. I was getting nervous and suspicious. 

But, Cindy and I had told Stephaney “have a good time and don’t get into any trouble out there. Please make this holiday work.” It was an actual problem. We wish we had never said this. 

We’ve had so many setbacks with Stephaney that what we meant to say was “not to go off her meds or get involuntarily committed again.”

It would take another 24-36 hours for my niece to tell us what she had been duped into. 

Cindy and I decided to wire money Tuesday from Huntsville. We were both concerned. This is highly irregular as we had told Jane Doe we would send money on Fridays. Also, we had sent Stephaney with money to Valdosta. Where was THAT money?” How was it that Jane Doe claimed to have a home in Fort Worth and a ranch Georgia and yet had no electricity??

9:31AM Tuesday morning, Cindy and I headed to Huntsville, Texas. My husband was having his own issues. My husband is a developer and custom home builder. 

For fifty years now, my husband has pretty much “seen it all” in the homebuilding business but, he had never encountered a skunk problem. I’m going to refer to this incident as the “Stinky Springtown Skunk Debacle.” 

Apparently, the skunk had died while the house was being built. Using infrared cameras while tearing into Sheetrock, the skunk was found and removed. The new custom home was repaired and an ozone machine was left in it to remove the smell last week. But, the issue wasn’t solved. Stay tuned. 

My husband was agitated about an issue he had never encountered and would be forced to educate himself about. 

Meanwhile, I was going through something that I had never encountered with a very different set of circumstances regarding my niece and my complete and total ignorance of a situation I have never thought would happen in my lifetime to either me or anyone in my family.

The home buyer had contacted my husband saying “the smell is stronger than ever. Could there be ANOTHER skunk?” Tuesday morning, my anxious husband assembled a crew to return to Springtown and again tear the house apart searching. There was another skunk. Removing the bathtub, the other skunk was found dead beneath it. I was in Huntsville when he called me. My suggestion was to add more concrete under the tub and effectively “seal the smell.” 

My husband went back to the drawing board and considered this idea. Infuriated about a stinky situation in Springtown, my husband was getting as little sleep as Cindy and I while trying to get Stephaney to Valdosta. 

Leaving TDCJ Holliday Unit, my grandniece, Makenna called. I should add that my niece, Leigh Ann and my grandniece are both hypochondriacs. Makenna said “my blood pressure is high. Can I go to the hospital when you get to town? I think I’m having a heart attack.” 

Instructing Makenna to go take her blood pressure and drink more water, Cindy and I agreed to take her to Harris Hospital. It should be noted that we regularly take Makenna to the hospital because she consistently googles new diseases and then believes she has “all of the symptoms.” 

For years now, Cindy and I have taken Makenna to a doctor of hospital to continually “alleviate her concerns.” We also have Makenna in biweekly counseling. Yes, we are overwhelmed but, our family crisis situations have never interfered with our work flow. 

Cindy and I are like two clowns juggling too many balls. Thank God we have each other!

Tuesday evening. My husband is diligently attempting to find a solution for Springtown. I’m answering emails and taking client calls. I will be up most of the night doing research myself on the stinky situation to find a solution while wondering what the hell is going on in Valdosta? Cindy and I call each other. 

Cindy and I are back in Huntsville early Wednesday morning to go to 3 Units for weddings with clients. Makenna is now relieved to know that rather than having a heart attack, she is actually dehydrated. Cindy’s husband, Steve is now home from his OTR job with Ryder. Steve is rarely home. 

Wednesday morning 5:31AM, Cindy and I leave my home AKA WorthamWorld. I spot a raccoon clinging to the chimney outside my leaded glass kitchen window at the three home estate next door that’s now been abandoned for seven years. I advise my husband about this “zoo situation” next door. 

My dog, Foxy Wortham is walked three times a day by my husband or I including his last walk at night. A family of raccoons in that estate next door highly concern me. 

I’m now on full alert for a possible “raccoon attack” in the city. I hate country living and if my lazy ass neighbor would sell that estate, I wouldn’t be living next door to a zoo. I call all of the time go get the city to mow the yard next door. I pay to repair the fence and for all of these years, I eventually pay yard men to mow the lawn next door. Three homes on one estate left abandoned? What’s wrong with that guy? He could sell the lots and tear down the three houses on that estate and sell the lots for over $600k. It doesn’t make sense to me. I simply can’t stand watching that estate fall apart but, I’m helpless to change it. My OCD tendencies prevent me from ignoring the lawn summer after summer. Ugh. My idiot neighbor must have more money than sense. The taxes alone are well over $30k a year. Every year, I check to see if he has paid the taxes or not. Quite frankly, my husband and I would buy that lot solely to develop it if my lazy neighbor would only fall behind on the taxes. But, he doesn’t. Instead, he allows the property to literally fall apart while paying the taxes. My husband and I are both baffled about this.

5:49AM, stopping at Shell to fill up, I’m outside my SUV when Makenna (one of the Twins) calls Cindy complaining that “Maryssa won’t wake up. She is going to make us late for school again!” 

Cindy advises Makenna “tell Maryssa if she doesn’t get out of bed and get ready for school that she won’t be getting her nails and hair done this weekend.” 

Maryssa unlike Makenna is entirely focused on elaborate nails and the latest clothing and hair. Maryssa is a fashion Queen and Social butterfly. 

Makenna is a stellar student who views being late for ANYTHING as the worst possible situation she can fathom. 

7:29AM, Steve (Cindy’s husband), sends this text “I’ve put my clothes in the washer and I’m in the driveway waiting to take the twins to school. While sitting in the driveway, I saw a giant raccoon climb from the fireplace to the hole in the roof Jessie fixed last week. You are gonna need to call Jessie.”

While Cindy reads this text as we are passing through Corsicana, I go on my usual rant about Jessie. “For twenty years now that guy has done the sloppiest work ever at your house. He’s always in jail for public intoxication and he’s a lazy and shiftless bum. Why can’t we find a reliable handyman that takes pride in his work to go to your house? If you hadn’t paid Jessie, there wouldn’t be a hole for the raccoon to crawl into!” This is an accurate statement. Jessie had just went to Cindy and Steve’s a week earlier to fix a squirrel hole. Now a raccoon was climbing into a squirrel hole? 

Cindy: “Our house has been a money pit for over twenty years. I know you don’t like him. Hell I’m not crazy about him myself but, eventually he shows up and does his usual shitty job. I will call him. Maybe he isn’t in jail again.” Grrr. I can’t even describe just how much Jessie irritates me. He doesn’t take ANY degree of pride in his work. Jessie is shiftless and shady. He takes money then disappears again only to return later and up his bid to get more money. Jessie is a con artist. My niece, Leigh Ann slams the door when he comes over which I find hilarious. Cindy somehow someway tolerates Jessie and his slovenly work habits. I have no idea why.

8:59AM, Steve calls and advised us to wait on calling Jessie because we now need to wait on trapping the raccoon before sealing the hole in the attic the squirrels created. Cindy tells her husband to “buy canned dog food.” 

Steve is upset that with perfect wind conditions that he COULD HAVE shot the raccoon if he wasn’t in his truck waiting to take the twins to school. Steve Daniel regularly shoots squirrels and throws them over the fence. 

Steve and Cindy live in the country. It’s a regular occurrence to see a flock of buzzards flying around their home when Steve is back home for a day or two from Ryder. Even in the country, the buzzards within city limits are highly irregular. Cindy wishes her husband would throw the squirrels in the trash. This ongoing debate between them has gone on for years. You know like Jessie and his horrible handyman jobs. 

9AM Huntsville, Texas. Cindy and I roll into Motel 6 to meet my Wynn Unit Client. I’m still complaining about Jessie. Cindy is still complaining about Steve throwing squirrels over the fence. We both realize the dead squirrels may very well have attracted the raccoons at about the same time. Matching stink eyes about Jessie, the raccoons, Jane Doe, arguing twin teenagers and the stinky skunk situation stop the moment my beautiful bride walks out of her room. 

The moment she walks onto the balcony, we are dazzled by her beauty. It isn’t just the dress either. Anyone else seeing her at that hotel was as jawstruck as we were. She was truly a vision of beauty, grace and style. Cindy and I forget about the raccoon, the skunk, Jessie, Jane Doe and everything else when we are with a client. Instead, I tell Cindy “we will be back in about an hour.” 

9:07AM, I jump into my clients car as Cindy takes my SUV to go “junk shopping.” Cindy and I still have a storage unit of items to list for Texas Twins Treasures but lack the time to list the items. We are “inventory rich.” Cindy and I simply don’t have the time to flip anything “in season.” With raccoons, squirrels, shady handymen and everything else going on including a full schedule, it may be winter before we go through inventory and list items in the storeroom. 

9:41AM Wynn Unit, my gorgeous bride and groom are married. We wait for their wedding photos to print while counting quarters to purchase them. 

My cell phone is in my clients car. Cell phones are prohibited at Prisons. I had “checked in” on FB at Wynn Unit to let Cindy know where I was and Jane Doe (who was following me on FB) knew I would be unavailable. 

Jane Doe “used this window to call Cindy and demand that she wire more money.” This time for food. 10:04AM, Cindy is now at Walmart in Huntsville “wiring money to Jane Doe.” While I was at Wynn Unit, Jane Doe called Cindy stating urgently “we have no food here. I need you to send us money.” Jane Doe has Cindy stay on the phone with her causing further stress. 

Cindy has NEVER wired money. Cindy also couldn’t call me about this “urgent money need” as I was at Wynn Unit. I would have insisted on sending money ONLY to my niece and Jane Doe most likely knew it. 

With Jane Doe on speakerphone, Cindy attempts to use Walmart to Walmart to send the money. Cindy also suggests sending it to her daughter, Stephaney as we know she has a valid ID because we took her to get it before sending her to Valdosta. 

Jane Doe gets agitated and says “send it to me and use a code word.” Walmart requires ID. Jane Doe then says “send it to my cousin #### ######.” A few minutes later, Jane Doe says “send it to my aunt ##### ########.” Jane Doe doesn’t have an ID. Hmm. 

Cindy was losing her mind trying to comprehend why she cannot simply send money to her daughter? Cindy is beyond stressed. Cindy is confused and concerned. Other employees and shoppers continue to ask my twin sister “are you okay? Don’t send money to anyone you don’t know.” Even strangers recognized there was a problem. 

The urgency Jane Doe is suddenly exhibiting regarding “needing more money for food immediately” on Tuesday after just having had Stephaney call Cindy for money to turn on the electricity Monday evening would be how Wendy and Cindy finally recognized there was a problem in Valdosta, Georgia. Had we known ANY of this, we would have never sent Stephaney to Georgia.

Leaving Wynn Unit, I call Cindy to meet my bride and I. Cindy doesn’t tell me about Walmart or Jane Doe. She waits. Upsetting a client on wedding day takes precedence. 

11:05AM, Cindy meets my bride and I for photos following the wedding ceremony at Wynn Unit. I’m still unaware of the Walmart money. I’m with a client and when I am, solely focused on the client. Cindy knows this. We begin unloading my SUV full of props together. I’m on a timeline. I’m meeting my next client immediately after at  Byrd Unit.

I arrange the bride, her mother, her stepdaughter and her best friend in numerous photos while Cindy hands me various items including tiaras, bouquets and other items I’ve brought with me in order to make their photo shoot beautiful and memorable. I’m also “on the clock” to get to my next Unit.11:28AM, Cindy and I roll out of Motel 6 to head to my next Unit. I’m dropping Cindy at Salvation Army as planned to dig through trash searching for something “flip worthy” for Texas Twins Treasures when Cindy finally tells me about Walmart Money Transfers to ANYONE OTHER THAN HER DAUGHTER who has a valid ID and that Jane Doe has no food. I hit the brakes. Wtf? 

Me: “she doesn’t have electricity or food? What the hell is going on in Georgia?” Cindy: “Jane Doe says she has Stephaney’s purse, her ID and SS card. Jane Doe is signing Stephaney up for food stamps and SS Disability. Stephaney found her cell phone and told me they don’t have water either and haven’t in a very long time based on the filth in the bathtub and sinks. They use the bathroom in the woods. Omg what have we done?” OMG WHAT HAD WE DONE?! We had sent a mentally ill person, a fragile doll to hillbillies who were going to do God knows what to her while bilking Cindy and I for thousands of dollars. I needed a plan.  

I google the address of Jane Doe from the Walmart to Walmart receipt. I search property records. Jane Doe was living in an abandoned house. SOB. Jane Doe was worse than anyone I have ever encountered in my entire life. This is saying a lot. My grandfather molested my sisters and I. My mother left us locked in closets and cars and regularly “forgot about us.” My first husband beat me half to death. My second husband had mistresses. I’ve been lied to. I’ve been deceived. I’ve trusted the wrong people to do the right thing. 

I had never been in a situation with a loved ones safety in jeaopardy from my own hand. I had trusted Jane Doe. 

I think what can I do as I drive on to the next unit? I wonder how I can get my niece out of a bad situation that I’ve inadvertently put her into? I kick myself for falling right into a trap. But, while at Byrd Unit, I also devise a plan.

Picking Cindy up after my second Unit, I tell her “Jane Doe has us under her thumb. She has Stephaney and knows she is in control. There are children in that house with no running water, electricity or food. It’s child endangerment to have children in that type of circumstance. Stephaney was just discharged last Tuesday from a Psych Ward with PTSD and Bipolar One. Jane Doe knows Stephaney has been involuntarily committed 16 times in less than 2 years. Jane Doe assumes you are well off and somehow knows I’m affluent. Jane Doe wanted Stephaney to benefit financially. We have to get Stephaney out of there. We must also save those children while we are at it.”

12:32AM, I call CPS Valdosta, Georgia and request a visit to Jane Doe’s address. It’s an address that I wouldn’t have had if not for Cindy wiring money at Walmart. 

2:02PM, Stephaney finds her cell phone and calls us. “Listen, I’m hiding in the woods here. She lied to you. This is a hell hole. The kids are starving. I believe I’m going to die here. They won’t let me leave. I’m watched all of the time. Jane Doe said that if I try to leave, I will get lost in the forest and never find my way back.” Me: “listen. We are going to get you out. CPS is coming for a welfare check. When they arrive be where you can see a car enter while hiding in the woods. Go with them. Get out of there. We will get you home.” The line went dead.

8:41PM, Stephaney has seconds to tell Cindy from her cell phone “CPS came and I’m still here. Please tell the twins I love them. I will never get out of here. They won’t let me look for work. Jane Doe lied about everything. They want you both to send money and sign me up for food stamps and SS Disability. I’ve given up. I’m miles from town. No one has a car here. These people are so poor that I’ve never witnessed poverty this bad in my life.” Jane Doe screamed for Stephaney to get in the house. Jane was angry about CPS coming to the trailer and wouldn’t allow them inside. For reasons unclear to me, CPS does not pursue the issue. The line went dead. Jane Doe had taken Stephaney’s cell phone again.

I decided to call Jane Doe and “dummy up.” When she answered she was agitated “I know who called me in. They don’t even know my real name. We have a lot going on here.” She hung up. Her real name? There was a name other than what she had given me? Cindy and I (as usual) call each other. This IS A PROBLEM because Jane Doe might hurt my niece if she knows we are in Texas “stirring the chili.” I need a better plan. 

Wednesday evening 11:12PM, I email the Haven in Valdosta, Georgia. I also “explain the situation.” I email ANYONE I think can help us. My niece is mentally ill and being held against her will. She cannot leave and we cannot go get her. 

Thursday morning 6:21AM, the Haven administrator emails me to call her. I do. She tells me “she must call us herself. We can only act if we hear from her. We cannot act on her behalf without her consent.” 

6:24AM, I call Cindy while making my husband breakfast. I haven’t told my husband that I’ve made a tragic mistake sending Stephaney to Georgia. I can’t. He has a development with a skunk problem. Instead, I research “human trafficking for financial gain.” I need to know who to contact to get my niece out of that situation.

7:02AM, I email the DA in Valdosta. I also call Cindy to fax all of the records pertaining to Stephaney to the DA. Jane Doe spoke to JPS and made arrangements with MHMR in Valdosta for Stephaney. Jane Doe has no idea that we can prove all of this either. Cindy and I document everything. We are willing to contact every government agency necessary to get those kids and Stephaney out. 

In 2012, I sold Debt Survival Solutions LLC. I’m nothing if not dilligent and articulate. Did I ever in a million years imagine I would find myself in a situation where I was completely at the mercy of someone else? NEVER. Yet, I was and when I can’t solve a problem in a straight line, I resort to a circle. I would cover every base. I would bring my niece home. 

Failure is never an option. I could never forgive myself if something happened to Stephaney “on my watch.” For years, Stephaney has consistently put herself in harms way. For years, her mother and I have tried to save her. This time was DIFFERENT though. I needed a successful extraction. I couldn’t do it myself. I would need help. I had to find the right help. I would do just that. 

8:22AM, I leave to head to Green Bay Unit and meet my client. Cindy is already faxing the DA from Office Depot in Weatherford, Texas. 

My niece isn’t answering her cell phone. Jane Doe probably has it and I know it. I wonder if my niece is still alive? 

9:03AM, Jane Doe now wants me to send more money. “Stephaney eats more than anyone I’ve ever met. I can’t keep enough food in this house. Send whatever you can and do it now!” 

9:12AM I’m sitting in my SUV thinking. I have no days off to go to Georgia myself and save my niece. I consider paying my son to do it for me. I call him. He can’t. He’s moving into his new home. 

10:34AM, I pull into Tarrant County Clerks Office. I’m filing marriage licenses before I walk across the street to meet my next client. While waiting with my number in hand at the clerks office to file a stack of marriage licenses, I have another idea.

10.48AM, I email the Attorney General of Georgia. I call Cindy to fax the same documents to the AG she earlier faxed to the DA. I still can’t get ahold of Stephaney and I’m now fearful she’s chained to a bed being beaten or raped. I’m panicking. I’ve inadvertently put my niece in a horrific situation solely because I trusted the wrong person. 

11:09AM, leaving the clerks office, I send a FB message to Jane Doe. “If anything happens to Stephaney, I promise I will use any and all means necessary to hold you accountable to the fullest extent of the law. You lied to me. You lied to her. You lied to her mother. You even lied to her daughter. You know damn well I would never have sent her out there under these conditions. Where is my niece?! You had better pray she’s safe.”

Jane Doe waits to respond. She’s wondering how I know what’s going on. She has no idea that Stephaney keeps finding the cell phone her mother bought less than a week ago to contact us. Jane Doe keeps someone watching Stephaney at all times. 

12:11PM, Jane Doe calls me. “Look, she’s safe I’ve got my aunt and my mom watching her. She isn’t allowed to leave. It’s unsafe. It’s to protect her. She isn’t hurt. I’m in Macon, Georgia and I’m going to send my cousin to bring her here.” I say “no. You leave her where she is and you had best not hurt her in any way, shape or fashion.” 

I need Stephaney at that house. I’m on a timeline. If Jane Doe moves her, I may never see my niece again. There are law enforcement officers preparing to go to Jane Doe’s address. I cannot have my niece moved. I’m firm about this. I even agree to send more money but not if Stephaney is moved. I’m buying time. 

1:27PM Weatherford, Texas. Cindy is in my SUV, I call the DA. The DA is contacting the PD to “send someone out there.” 

Cindy and I have no idea if Jane Doe has moved Stephaney or not at this point. We have both googled “Macon, Georgia human trafficking” and are shocked as to what we learn. We are also terrified. 

2:14PM, Valdosta PD call my cell phone. The Sheriffs Department has Stephaney. 

2:37PM, Cindy and I buy a bus pass for Stephaney with while walking into Walmart to wire her money. 

Stephaney is safe. She’s out. She wasn’t a statistic. The Sheriffs department transports Stephaney to the Valdosta Bus Station. We wire money to Walmart for Stephaney. We are relieved and thankful Stephaney is okay and coming home. 

But, Cindy and I will never be as trusting as we once were…by the way, Jane Doe is exactly where she needs to be. 

Jane Doe won’t be doing anything like this to anyone else. Jane Doe underestimated her “marks.” Jane Doe deserves everything she has coming to her…

“COURAGE is being SCARED to DEATH but, SADDLING up ANYWAY.”

John Wayne 

TDCJ Bridgeport Unit To Allred & Good Times With Great People…

Getting my beautiful bride approved for her wedding at Bridgeport Unit took some time. Often, clients have no idea how long the Prison Planning Process actually takes. 

From the ID to getting up to 6 signatures on the I60 Request For Marriage Form, marrying an inmate isn’t a quick or easy process. 

The “process” can take 3-6 weeks and, if there’s a Lock Down, longer as weddings are not permitted during a Lock Down.

At a few times during the Prison Wedding Planning Process, my Bridgeport bride nearly gave up altogether due to her frustration regarding the process. 

But, I walked and talked her through the process and we “hung in there together” awaiting good news. 

Last week, the Chaplain finally gave us a selection of dates. It was a celebration for not only my bride but also, the Grooms family.

The bride and groom grew up together. They lived only 3 blocks from each other most of their lives.

The couple went to middle school and high school together and were friends long before “Lock Up.” 

Occasionally, I refer to my clients unique situations as “love locked down” because it is. Waiting is the hardest part. 

Bridgeport is a privately owned TDCJ Facility. Because of this, wedding photos are not offered. Privately owned units “dance to the beat of their own drum.” Although they fall under TDCJ, the rules can be different from one Unit to the next. 

Guests are very rare at Prison Weddings and sadly, the Grooms parents and sisters weren’t allowed to witness the ceremony but, happily waited on the bride and I while inside.

Since the parents missed the ceremony, I am mailing them a copy of my wedding script as a courtesy and memento along with photos taken after the ceremony. 

How rare is it for visitors to be allowed to witness a Prison Wedding? The ONLY unit in my years of officiating Prison Weddings that has ever allowed “guests” has been Sanders Estes Unit. Guests are normally prohibited at every Unit I Officiate at including privately owned facilities. 

However, Estes has made exceptions for parents on 3 occasions the past 2 1/2 years which obviously thrilled the parents. 

For all of my other families, I’m sorry but the “odds of visitors” being allowed at a wedding are so slim that it’s best to accept you won’t have guests other than me beside you on the “inside.” 

Walking back out to the parking area, there were three vehicles of excited family members awaiting my beautiful bride and I which is unusual but was a delightful and joyous experience for not only her but also, me. 

Families who “wait together” on the release of a loved one are both are strong and resilient. Due to freezing Texas temperatures, I quickly decided to “caravan the families” on our way back out of the unit to a nearby hotel and unload my “traveling photo prop” loaded SUV. 

Normally, I use hotel lobbies if it’s raining or freezing because 1. Hotel lobbies are public places and great for photos and, 2. Hotel employees are accommodating and friendly. The receptionist at Econolodge was so friendly and helpful yesterday that she opened the conference room for our group. 

Today, I’m mailing her a gift card and thank you note for being so helpful and kind.My bride hadn’t packed a coat and I happened to have one on hand to “gift her” on wedding day while also loaning her my hat and gloves. 

I had loaned the same coat to my Ferguson Unit bride. It was cold and rainy the last time I headed back to Ferguson Unit and my bride was happy to try on several coats including a mink I had packed for fun photos. I bring an eclectic array of photo prop items as a courtesy. But, winter is nearly over and my Bridgeport bride needed the coat far more than my inventory did. It was also a “perfect fit.” I’ve listed the mink coat I had purchased for winter weddings this year at Texas Twins Treasures. 

I’d also purchased a Mr & Mrs throw pillow that I presented as a wedding gift. I’ve used it a lot this season and, it needed a new home.

Since I’m always asked why most of my bridal or groom photos shoots are outdoors, if the weather is permitting, the lighting helps with clearer photos. Most outdoor photos are taken near the unit.

The wide variety of my custom created bouquets gives us several different photo options. I generally bring 5-8 various bouquets in different colors to accommodate additional guests or family members as well as boutonnières. 

My Hutchins State Jail bride (below left) loved that I had so many different bouquets and props. Although she had told me that she wasn’t comfortable taking photos, she quickly shook that off and had a blast with my niece, Leigh Ann and I. 

I loved spending my day with my amazing group of family members at Bridgeport. 

In fact, I’m putting this wedding right up there with my top 3 favorite prison weddings. That’s saying a lot for a person who performs Prison Weddings every week Monday through Friday. 

My weekends and evenings are spent accommodating “traditional clients.” Yes, I work 7 days a week. Not seasonally either. Prison Weddings don’t have a season. 

I’ve met hundreds of families at Prison Weddings and all of them are thankful, courteous and kind to not only me but also, my staff. Leaving the hotel, our caravan headed to lunch at Jorge’s in Bridgeport. We saw two painted walls that made perfect backdrops and decided to snap a few fun photos to finish our day of celebration together before lunch.After lunch, our group walked over to another festive mural a few block over to throw flower petals at the bride for our last photo of the day together. 

I had seen the colorful mural while driving with our caravan to Jorges restaurant and loved it. We backtracked to snap a few fun photos. While we were at lunch, I reviewed several emails but, the one from Mary caught my attention. 

I review emails and take calls all day from Units regarding scheduling as well as new client inquiries and traditional event service requests. My phone is my greatest “work tool.” 

Mary has been waiting to marry Lester at Allred Unit. Mary also did a news television show about their “unique union.”

What made it “unique?” Mary was one of the jurors that sentenced Lester to life in prison. I was concerned about the publicity and backlash with good reason. Why? Because I knew not everyone would accept or warm up to this “love story” and also because Prisons don’t enjoy film crews on the premises either or publicity either. 

I had also declined to be interviewed as I knew that it wouldn’t be a “good idea” based on the circumstances. 

I’m the “minister” but, after the Dallas Morning News interview, I’m far more selective about who I talk to or my clients. 

For those who don’t know what happened after Jeff Mosier interviewed me for being an “Openly LBGT Friendly” event business in Texas, death threats and hate mail were the “bonus” of the interview for not only me but also, my staff. 

I’m cautious regarding reporters and “their angles” for damn good reasons. They sensationalize the story. Jeff Mosier didn’t and look what happened to my team and I. Years of death threats. Did it stop me or my staff or change my beliefs? Absolutely not. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. Opinions don’t dictate my decisions either. 

A few months ago, my Hughes Unit bride told me while waiting on our armed escorts “you should know he’s a reality star. He was on Episode 4 of I’m A Killer.” Surprised, I knew once again that reporters would call me and, I was right. I declined all interviews knowing that the general public would get “opinionated.” A few concerned connections emailed me because they recognized him in photos. They were concerned about my safety. 

I’m at no time without armed guards present. I’m safer in a prison than anywhere else. The fact that “Happy Holidays” was behind me in that photo made it seem as if we were anywhere other than a Prison. But, we were in the Visitation Area of Hughes Unit. A guard took the unit photos. For the haters and trolls out there wondering about it, the answer is yes, I also Officiate LBGT Prison Weddings. 

My clients are a melting pot. If you don’t like it, it’s “not my luggage- not my trip.” 

Mary told me that after the segment was aired, Lester was getting death threats. I was saddened to hear this but, hopeful that once Lester and Mary were married, things would settle down. 

If you missed the interview with Mary and Lester, here’s the link– Juror Plans To Marry Inmate She Sentenced To Life In Prison. The title alone would give others the impression that Mary alone rendered the verdict. She didn’t. There were 12 jurors not 1. 

Yesterday, Mary emailed me that the Warden wanted to talk to her prior to scheduling the wedding at Allred. 

This is somewhat unusual but, the Warden effectively runs the Unit and is therefore in charge of either Approving or Denying an application to marry at the Unit. 

I’m back at Allred March 6th and look forward to finally meeting Monica in person. Usually, my ceremonies are stacked at Units. This saves me driving back and forth twice a month but, if Mary gets scheduled on March 20th, I’m happy to make the drive to Wichita Falls twice in the same month. 

Mary missed a February 20th and March 6th scheduled wedding at Allred because Lesters I60 Request For Marriage Form hadn’t made it through the “6 signature trail” to the Warden’s desk at the time Monica got her Approval for March 6th. 

My Michael Unit bride had also emailed me crushed about being Denied on her I60. I was deeply saddened about this but the groom had failed to list her on his visitation list. 

Because of this, getting on the visitation list will take a few weeks which is a setback but, thankfully a minor one. 

In order to marry an inmate, you MUST be listed on their visitors list. There are no exceptions to this rule outlined in the Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate marriage ceremonies. 

I’m hoping to get scheduled for Wynn Unit, Crain Unit, Coffield Unit, Luther Unit and Beto Unit this month for my “clients waiting on dates.” But, I’m already scheduled at Stiles, 3 Huntsville Units, Jester, Hobby and Buster Cole as well as several county jails this month. 

Perseverance and patience is required for my clients awaiting dates AKA those “on the outside” as scheduling takes time. 

Traditionally, timelines are 3-6 weeks start to finish on scheduling your Texas Prison Wedding. Remember though that a Lock Down will affect timelines.

I look forward to meeting all of my clients soon and wish many years of love, joy and happiness to my newest newlyweds ?

Strong Prison Wives, Husband’s & Families Who Continue To Keep The Faith…

Nearly everyday I hear from someone interested in a Prison or Jail Wedding. The number of inquiries would surprise you but, there are many people in love with an inmate and although the majority of my Client base for Texas Prison Weddings is compromised of females, there are also males marrying female inmates. 

Yesterday, Our House Media sent an email asking about families living together awaiting the release of an inmate. 

After reading the flyer, I agreed to share it on my FB Page– Texas Prison Weddings With Wendy Wortham. I also asked OHM “if LBGT Couples were invited to apply since a large portion of my TDCJ clients happen to be LBGT.” OHM answered that “all families are invited to apply.” 

I’m familiar with OHM because they worked on a sizzle reel three years ago about my family owned and operated event businesses, Texas Twins Events and The Pawning Planners as well as documenting how our Texas Twins Treasures storefront effectively “flips” trades bartered through The Pawning Planners. 

The barter option continues to surprise people but finding ways for ANYONE to afford services was the reason that I decided to create The Pawning Planners by merging Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures together. 

Families who couldn’t “write a check,” scheduled an Appraisal Appointment and invited my twin sister and I into their homes to “find something of value instead.” Cindy and I love digging through trash to find treasure. Especially when our hunt is to help a family. 

Three years ago, prison Weddings weren’t “part of our event service options.” Regardless though, OHM did a great job trying to tie together a package aka my family into a 3 minute video also known as a “sizzle reel.” 

I became a TDCJ Officiant shortly after Our House Media created a sizzle reel outlining how four generations of my family work together to make Dream Events a reality. 

My twin sister is my partner and my son and his wife work together as an Officiant/Photography team while my niece, Leigh Ann works as an Officiant or Photographer at event bookings. 

My twin grandnieces worked as flower girls and ring bearers for years for “tips or flips” but now work as princess characters at birthday parties. 

Evolving, expanding and rebranding was essential to our growth and also how a creative request three years ago for “an Officiant at Sanders Estes Unit” would bring a new change and direction to our already wide array of options at Texas Twins Events and The Pawning Planners.

Misty was having difficulty finding anyone willing to Officiate her wedding. The problem? First, it was at a Prison and secondly, it was an interracial marriage. It’s sad to me that anyone would “judge” or “screen” but the truth is that there are a number of Officiants and even photographers who regularly turn away prospects solely because “they are different.” 

My family and I have always welcomed anyone and while Misty’s situation was unique, I was willing to undergo the process to become a TDCJ Approved Officiant.

Did I know that my business was about to boom with Prison Weddings? No. Who would? I had no idea that there were so many consumers seeking inmate weddings. But, my weekdays are now spent at Texas Prisons and County Jails. 

Before inmate weddings, my weekdays were spent evaluating trades or delivering Texas Twins Treasures sold items when not meeting new clients. 

Three years ago, all of our bookings were either on weekends or in the evening. Today, my entire team work seven days a week due to the new bookings at Texas Prisons and County Jails. 

My son, daughter in law and niece traditionally handle county jail weddings while I address all Texas Prison bookings. Cindy and I travel across Texas on a daily basis to Texas Prisons as a Twin Team. 

While I’m inside a prison, Cindy shops for bargains at area thrift and junk stores for new Texas Twins Treasures items. 

After the ceremony is over at the prison, my Client and I meet back up with my sister for impromptu photo shoots that all of our TDCJ Clients enjoy. Photo shoots are fun and bring the celebration to wedding day. 

Cindy and I pack a number of bouquets and props as well as clothing changes to keep our shoots fun and full of variety. Over the years, my twin sister, Cindy and I have filmed several sizzle reels with production companies. But, finding a production company that can “successfully” tie my unique blend of businesses into a box hasn’t been easy. 

Obviously my “wide array of services” doesn’t fit in a box. I’ve been told that “prison weddings” are controversial but, real life isn’t controversial and love isn’t either. 

My TDCJ clients are all educated and fully accept the challenges that loving an inmate brings to their lives. It’s not an easy path. Loving an inmate is expensive for the person or family “on the outside.” The phone calls and long drives to visit are tough on families.

Last week, I was once again at Sanders Estes Unit. This time for a wedding ceremony on Valentines Day which was unusual since wedding ceremonies normally take place on Friday’s twice a month. 

The wardens secretary told me she had asked if the wedding could take place on Valentines Day because “it would be more romantic.” My Sanders Estes Client had arrived with the Grooms parents and was thrilled about the Warden allowing the mother and father to join us in the visitation area for the ceremony. The Warden at Estes literally made this families day after a long drive from Austin, Texas to Estes in Venus. 

There ARE FAMILIES awaiting the release of inmates. There ARE FAMILIES who live together while waiting for the release of an inmate. OHM has a great idea to document the visits, the phone calls and even, the lengthy process of waiting. The waiting is the hardest part. 

Prison Marriage or even Prison Love might be “controversial” to people who cannot understand the concept but, controversial or not, Prison Visitation Areas are becoming wedding chapels two days a month in Texas and other states. 

Inmate marriages are on the rise and as families and loved ones await the next visit, the next phone call and finally on the day of release, there are also happy endings…