Category: TDCJ Weddings With Wendy Wortham

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The Goodbye Makes The Journey Harder Still. Road Trips, Rest Areas, Rental Cars And Working It Out…

With my schedule having an suv down is and can be frustrating. I drive 1-3k miles a week to not only Texas Prisons but also Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Missouri for county jail as well as prison weddings during the week and on weekends to destination bookings through Texas Twins Events. 

I drive a lot because flying is expensive and a burden to clients which is why I stack surrounding state bookings that require air travel. 

Every two years, I flip out of at least 2 SUVs into new SUVs. Why? I cannot afford to have problems getting to Units that’s why. I don’t take chances and hope for the best. Instead, I plan for the worst and have never not been on location due to mechanical issues of our vehicles. I’m ocd. Oil and maintenance are regularly addressed. 

The best tires are an investment. I don’t skimp when it comes to driving 12-16 hours a day in a vehicle. You can count on me or my staff to be on site ALWAYS. Getting there is one of the most important elements of our role for your prison or jail wedding. Rest assured, we WILL ALWAYS be on site and early. 

A few months ago, I put $1200 into tires on the Santa Fe and less than a month later, heard a tapping noise. Damnit. Engine problems are why my husband spent his Saturday flipping the Santa Fe for a 2020 Jeep Sahara. Black on black. I always drive black vehicles. The Nissan is being flipped for a Grand Cherokee. 

My husband hates buying new vehicles but not nearly as much as I do. I don’t have the time or the patience to deal with the finance department or the sales manager. We don’t finance vehicles. We write a check. 

Get the exact vehicle I want and give my husband the keys. It’s easier all the way around. No one has time for tire kicking in my family. 

Yesterday, the exact vehicle I wanted took my husband to four dealerships. Cindy and were in Austin. Today we are in San Antonio. I am picky about features. I’m in our vehicles all day everyday. Because of this finding the exact vehicle with under 10k miles wasn’t easy. I need four wheel drive. 

The Santa Fe was the first and last Vehicle I will own that didn’t have AWD. The Enclave lasted three months with me. Why? It couldn’t U turn. Thanks to Navigation Lady, U turns occur frequently and if an suv can’t turn on a dime, I’m out on it. 

Getting to my safety deposit box Monday is also out. Why? Martin Luther King Day. I’m at Powledge Tuesday. Terrell Wednesday. Connally Thursday. Parker and Palo Pinto Friday. 

My husband will have to run to the bank and drive the titles to the dealership to transfer ownership for me. As usual, my schedule prevents me from doing this myself. Goodbye Santa Fe. You lasted EXACTLY 2 years. 

My husband and I discussed giving the Santa Fe to Cindy and giving Cindy’s Outlander to the twins. Makenna starts driving school in February while Maryssa hasn’t even started the written portion. Since the Santa Fe had a tapping noise, we are going to move Cindy into the Nissan Rogue and move the Outlander to the twins. 

My husband gave Cindy’s husband the Toyota Tundra for Christmas when he flipped out of it and into an suv. Steve loves the Tundra. My husband and I usually flip our other vehicles to family but that tapping was going to be a problem maintenance wise and why I traded it in. I can’t have anyone on my team driving a vehicle with mechanical problems. The risk isn’t worth it. 

I don’t like trucks because they don’t suit my needs. I move people and inventory. My son loves his 4X4 truck. It’s also black. 

With my daughter in law’s Jeep and our other suv in the shop, it was back to Enterprise. I considered buying the Sahara from Enterprise but the only one they had was in Pennsylvania that fit my criteria. 

The fee to move it to Texas? $1200. Why spent $1200 when I could find find the same vehicle in Texas? Hence my husband’s Saturday of setbacks. As usual, Matthew commented “it would have been easier to buy the Jeep from Pennsylvania. Next go round, I will. I need a martini. Lol. 

Matthew hates buying vehicles but Wendy hates it more. Lol. Matthew is also still grieving the loss of Foxy though and keeping him busy while Cindy and I were out of town gave him something to do. 

Like me, Matthew drives a lot. He has several developments going on that require him to drive and check progress at. From meeting the builders to discussing issues to shopping for lots, Matthew is out of the office frequently. Today though he’s in the office transferring money for the checks he wrote at the dealership yesterday and viewing lots in Azle. 

The vehicles you will be looking for myself, Cindy, my son, my daughter in law or my niece to be driving will be black. Text us when you are on site at the Unit. 

Regarding Valentines Day requests, we are booked solid and cannot add on any new bookings on this date. I have a Vow Renewal with my Luther Unit bride in San Antonio February 15th so that date is occupied as well. 

FMC, FCI and FBOP clients and inquiries…my credentials are on file and it’s best to have the facility contact me for scheduling. Please do not assume you know my schedule and agree to a date without contacting me to confirm.

Leigh Ann and Maddy will be in Florida for a week in February so if you aren’t a confirmed California booking, be aware of her travel in February and limited availability. 

Cindy will be in Florida in March and unavailable in Texas. 

My son and his wife are taking off and not taking on new bookings through April due to the expected arrival of baby Hafele March 3rd. 

I currently have 32 clients on my roster in Texas awaiting dates. Because of my heavy schedule, we will once again revisit why I limit new bookings. The Prison Wedding Planning Process takes approximately 4-8 weeks from the inception to wedding day. Because I have existing clients who roll over into the following month, I limit new bookings. 

If you have talked to me, emailed me or messaged me on social media, you HAVE NOT booked my services. I require a contract and retainer. 

The consistent use of my name and my credentials to obtain date without FIRST obtaining and securing services and effectively line jumping booked clients will not secure my services. 

Be aware that I can and will contact the Unit and cancel an Approved Ceremony for anyone who HAS FAILED TO FOLLOW BOOKING PROCEDURES. 

Pertaining to a TDC I60 Request For Inmate Marriage, you are required to book services FIRST be aware of this. I can’t be everywhere and limit new bookings to ensure my availability for booked clients.

By the way, if you are sending me a connection request on LinkedIn or friend request on FB, please don’t pitch me marketing or advertising. I do not advertise and have no need to market new clients. 

Attention ALL clients and inquiries… if you call and hang up without leaving a detailed message, I WILL NOT return your call. I’m busy and don’t have the time or desire to call back everyone contacting me who fails to provide a message. Leave your name, the Unit, your question and the best number to reach you. I will return your call within 2 hours. 

Emails after 9PM are returned the following day.

Arrive a minimum of 15 minutes early on wedding day. 

Call, email or text if you have additional questions or concerns… 

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Rolling Down The Road. Estelle To Holiday To Polunsky. Love Is Like Oxygen…

Leaving my office at 7:30AM yesterday to head to TDCJ Estelle Unit, my dog Foxy Wortham was still not feeling well and like my husband, our growing concern over whether or not Foxy will ever recover after his last round of vaccinations has caused emotional anxiety. Foxy’s quality of life has continued to decline and we are now topping $5k on vet bills to keep him alive. At what point do we make the difficult decision as to whether or not to put Foxy down I have no idea as he’s been a part of our lives for fourteen years now and my husband becomes emotional even discussing the matter with the vet. 

My heart was heavy leaving a crying husband behind in Fort Worth. Matthew has taken on the role of President at McBee Homes AND more importantly, additional responsibilities at work. Having Foxy become ill during this window certainly is bad timing of sorts because as anyone realizes job changes are stressful. I’m returning Foxy to VCA Thursday after a morning wedding at Lindsey State Jail. Each visit to VCA “starts at $1200 for blood work and additional tests.” My husband, Matthew is unconcerned about the cost. He is concerned about how “with our schedules we can continue to hand feed Foxy and administer medication?” He has a point. Hiring a pet nanny Foxy is unfamiliar with has been an escapade in futility.

Arriving at Estelle Unit, I call Iris. Her daughter answers. Iris is already inside the Unit in the main building. Estelle has two buildings. High security and the main building. I’ve officiated weddings in both. 

Iris had sent me a message about bringing her two year old daughter late Tuesday evening. Panicking since I was driving to three Units alone and had no one to sit with her daughter who wouldn’t be allowed inside, I sent a text to my 2PM Holliday Unit bride to ask if she could sit with the child. This might surprise a few of you but I knew my bride was in Huntsville spending the night and about twenty minutes from Estelle at her hotel. 

My clients are amazing, loving and an army of warriors who know how difficult finding childcare on wedding day can be. I wasn’t at all surprised that my Holliday Unit bride immediately volunteered. 

A few minutes later though, Iris sent a text that her adult daughter would be joining her and could watch the two year old while we were inside the Unit.

Walking into Estelle, I hoped the rain would stop. Rain is the one thing that causes problems for my mini photo shoots. On more than one occasion, I’ve used hotel lobbies “on the fly.” 

Iris looked beautiful in a blue dress and sexy multicolor shoes with a spike heel. I haven’t worn high heels in years but always admire a beautiful shoe. 

As we waited for her fiancée to be escorted to the visitation area, Iris placed her house shoes under the bench and I walked into the wardens office to pay for three unit photos. Bringing an additional pair of shoes into the Unit for the long walk back to the parking lot was a smart idea. I always pack several pairs of shoes and sport coats when I have a multi Unit day myself. Why? Because each wedding is special and by changing my clothes and shoes I’m walking in fresh too. 

A few months ago while traveling from Tennessee Colony Units to Holliday Unit to Polunsky, an investigative journalist was traveling with Cindy and I. Ella “noticed” my habit of changing jackets, jewelry and shoes and asked me about it. I explained that getting wrinkled and “travel worn” from one Unit to the next was and is why I feel more comfortable “freshening up” to meet my next client.

The groom was excited and nervous and walked towards Iris and I. The moments I spend sharing my clients precious ceremonies are heartfelt and memorable.Leaving Estelle, I have Iris follow me to the Texas Prison Museum to meet Jarzmeine for bridal photos. I’m driving one of our Jeeps and have loaded a wide array of inventory.Because I’m leaving Holliday Unit to head to Livingston and meet my 5:30PM Polunsky bride, taking bridal photos of my Estelle and Holliday Unit brides at the museum works better with my tight schedule. Leaving the museum, Jarzmeine and I have time to grab lunch at Chili’s and buy a to go strawberry cheesecake for Jarzmeine to enjoy on her drive back to Louisiana. 

The Unit is running a few minutes behind which “cuts into my timeline” to accompany Jarzmeine to the Walker County Clerks Office to file her license.After going over the certified license and how to send it to inmate records, I hug my beautiful new bride in the parking lot of TDCJ Holliday Unit and pray she travels in Grace.

Driving on to Livingston, I take a call from a production company. Let’s review how researching me prior to contacting me is going to save us both a lot of time. First, I started Texas Twins Events to make Life Events affordable. Any event. Any client. When it became apparent that a small group of clients couldn’t afford to book in a traditional manner, I merged Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create a barter option, The Pawning Planners. I do not judge anyone. I do not ask why anyone is incarcerated. I welcome diversity and have neither the time or patience to educate someone who hasn’t researched me, my life, my clients or my business. I have 5 websites and encourage anyone contacting me to review them prior to “pitching me.” Here’s the list Texas Twins Events. The Pawning Planners. Texas Twins Treasures. Texas Twins TV. TDCJ Officiant.

Arriving in Livingston, I text my bride to meet me at an abandoned gas station. There’s a lake near Polunsky that works great for bridal photos.We headed to the Unit following the photo shoot. My bride and I walked into the shakedown area together and waited on our visitor badges.

The groom had memorized his heartfelt vows as had my bride who had written hers just in case she became too nervous to remember them.

As I pulled out of Polunsky Unit for a long drive home, my full day of 3 Units and 3 amazing brides was spent sharing their joy of finally marrying.

Arriving home at nearly 11PM, my husband has waited up on me with Foxy. Our dog was declining and I knew it. Matthew knew it too. Sadly a miracle for Foxy wasn’t going to happen. He had been refusing food and water. Foxy knew he was dying although we refused to accept this reality. I wish the vet had prepared us for this but instead we were given false hope. I have no idea why. More meds. More treatments. We danced to the routine of hand feedings and hope. Records of the next medication. Carrying Foxy outside to relieve himself. We expected a miraculous recovery. We expected too much.

I had scheduled an appointment to follow up last weeks with VCA for Thursday after I returned from a morning wedding at Lindsey State Jail. Because my Allred Unit Client was in the hospital with bronchial phnuemonia, a reschedule at Allred freed me up to take Foxy in today rather than Thursday. Since December 23rd, Foxy had been steadily declining. Foxy had bladder cancer. I heard something while in my office signing contracts yesterday and found Foxy unable to stand. I picked him up and headed to VCA early. Foxy died in my arms resting his head on my husband’s lap. 

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Cold Feet, Warm Hearts And Fresh Starts. The Prison Wedding Planning Process Begins Again…

Last August, just a few days before Eric was confirmed at TDCJ Crain Unit to marry, he called me to advise me that his bride had changed her mind about marrying. 

This was surprising but not as uncommon as you might think. Why? 1% of inmates change their mind about marrying after being given a date to marry. Not the person on the outside but instead the person on the inside? Yes. A number of factors may be the reason for this change of heart but generally months or even years later, the inmate changes their mind to follow through with the wedding which is exactly what happened with Eric. He called to advise me that they were ready and the planning process started over again. 

Eric is a really nice guy and I know he will make a great prison husband. We’ve had long talks about the struggles husbands and wives face from the outside. 

Marrying an inmate is a commitment not to be taken lightly. The expenses and loneliness of being married to an inmate require stamina and finances. From expensive phone calls to long drives to the Unit to putting money on the books, my clients on the outside do it all and they do it alone. Single income households struggle to make it all work but they do. 

Strangers and even other clients ask me frequently “why would these other clients choose to marry an inmate?” This question is better directed at my clients than at me. They know what they are in for and they accept the terms. 

For years now, I’ve had strangers email or even mail me when they aren’t commenting on my posts that “they don’t believe inmates should have the right to marry or they don’t believe in LBGT marriage.” These narrow minded folks assume their opinions matter to either me, my staff or my clients. They don’t. 

Our clients make the decision to marry. Our clients hire my staff to handle the planning and the ceremony. By the way, I have never had a problem on site at an LBGT event OR inmate wedding. No rude guests? No drunks? No idiotic demands? It’s a fact that the majority of our favorite events and the clients weren’t “traditional bookings.” Instead, the best times we’ve had on location are with LBGT clients, inmate clients and bartering clients. This unique and diverse group of clients are not only thankful for our help but also courteous to my staff, our children and grandchildren. Keep your opinions. Opinions aren’t our luggage and they aren’t our trip.

When Cindy and I decided to start an Events business, our goal was to make Life Events affordable to ANYONE. Rebranding and expanding to offer bartering shocked folks but reaching ANY economic level required tenacity, creativity, dedication and drive. 

The Pawning Planners opened a window that effectively “created an opportunity for low income families who couldn’t afford to pay for services to trade for services instead.” 

Love knows no bounds and whether my client is marrying an inmate or marrying outside of the confinement’s of a prison or jail, the variations of their commitment are often surprising to outsiders. 

“PEOPLE that FEAR the STORM, have NEVER lived THROUGH a DROUGHT.” God Bless Us All. 

While one bride wants a room full of flowers with the perfect music and the perfect venue, another bride is sending me photos of what she plans to wear and asking me if it’s within the visitation dress code. There are no divas marrying an inmate. There is no one who has “been dreaming all their lives of marrying inside a prison or jail.” 

My heart is with clients marrying an inmate rather than with the demanding divas who want perfection. I become their mother, their friend, their confidant. The Prison Wedding Planning Process is lengthy, confusing and extensive. It’s not uncommon for me to talk to clients throughout the planning process as well as after the wedding. Our relationship lasts long after their event. The majority of my inmate bookings rebook Vow Renewal services upon release to celebrate their love story with friends and family. They now have the cake, the guests, the music, the dress and the joy of life after lock up.  

I’ve been in this industry many years and I’ve also met all and worked with all types of people from diverse backgrounds. The drama and chaos of “traditional weddings and brides demanding it all or being unreasonable” isn’t exactly a “good time on location for me or my staff.” 

I’ve worked large events as a Planner and Officiant for up to 300 guests. I’ve been on site when brawls have broken out and arrests were made. The number of times I’ve also been interrupted by dip shit “guests” attempting to object during my ceremony is staggering. Who invited THAT guest? 

You could easily say that I’ve seen it all at this point of my career in the events industry because quite frankly, I can’t think of anything I haven’t seen. From the commando guest in a short skirt that had one too many and her high kicks on the dance floor creating a “memorable moment” to the groom stuck in the patio lights during the traditional “toss” to the witness literally running from a bride after effectively voiding the license by scribbling out and changing her address not knowing the consequences of her error would infuriate the bride who was unaware that I could fix the issue by filing an Amended License until she allowed me to explain, the chaos and crazy moments could easily fill a book. 

Cindy and I are “the fixers.” Experience and knowledge are important. A videographer suggested putting an emoji over “the flasher on the dance floor.” I insisted on him editing the video. 

I’m picky about who I choose to work with now. I’ve had people change their date to accommodate my schedule too. If you want it all and don’t want to pay for it though, you are wasting my time as well as your own. Move along. I’m busy. 

By the way, if you are at a wedding to object, you shouldn’t be there and if you are trying to interrupt my ceremony, I’m going to make an example of you in front of other guests and then escort you out myself. Sit down and shut up. If you can’t, stay home. 

I no longer work “over the top events” for “people who found me on the internet” regardless of what the prospective client is willing to pay. Why? I don’t have to. I prefer the intimacy of inmate weddings and the joy of Vow Renewals with previous clients instead. There are no drunks. There are no divas. There is no drama. 

From The Tardy Party Bride Who Lied in order to obtain a police discount to The Bouncing Checks Broken Tooth Bride to The Banjo Playing Ex Boyfriend Who Got The Boot, not only I but also my team have had some surprising things happen on location. All of these “surprises” were with traditional bookings. 

The Tardy Party Bride was over an hour late to her own wedding and could not provide credentials for her discount either. 

The Broken Tooth Bouncing Checks Bride wrote not one but two hot checks. While attempting discuss this matter on location, I was asked to glue her tooth. My finger became glued to the Broken Tooth. No good deed goes unpunished. My medical expenses for the damage of my finger proved that. The bride never did make good on her Bouncing Checks or her Broken Promises.

A Fort Worth Stockyards wedding without adequate security found me knocked over a table. Wrong place wrong time or wrong clients unwilling to take my advice? Open Bars are bad ideas. Nearly every time an event has had an open bar there have been problems on site.

Since returning from California, my dog Foxy has been in and out of the vet. One of our SUVs has been in and out of the shop. The beat goes on. Business and family are an everyday mix for me.I juggle clients from venues, Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners and Prisons as well as Jails in numerous states. I regularly turn down inquiries for large events or someone wanting an Elvis Impersonator. I’m not an impersonator. 

“REALITY checks, aren’t GIVEN, with INSUFFICIENT funds.” If you want an Officiant, Planner and Impersonator, I can find one for you but get ready to pay for it. 

Impersonators are expensive. I’m not opposed to dressing up or wearing themed clothing within reason but if you want me to swivel my hips wearing Elvis attire, sorry buddy you’ve got the wrong person. 

Last year I bought camo clothing after being asked by my client for a Pawning Planners Event. This was a first since I’ve never owned anything camouflage in my life but, my bride REALLY wanted me in camo to officiate so… I worked it out and found an outfit.

Working as a planner for ONE CLIENT and spending months addressing their every whim when I can easily plan and officiate up to 20 weddings a month instead? I will take the 20 happy clients over the one problem client any day of the year. No amount of money is worth dealing with a Diva to me. 

I don’t enjoy spending months listening to spoiled brides who “want it all”  who don’t realize that they “do not have the budget for all of it.” Princesses or Bridezillas don’t understand that everyone has limits even me. Let these folks tie someone else down while expecting them to pay for the rope because I’m too busy for Demanding Diva’s. 

Years ago I took on problem clients but those days are gone forever. No more  miserably counting the days to their event down for me. No thanks, I have happy clients and a good time now. No divas. No demanding mothers. No midnight phone calls about what they want that they haven’t paid for. Goodbye and good luck to them. They are far too much work. 

I’ve met plenty of Diva’s and I’ve learned they take up far too much of my time AND my patience. Time is money. Experience matters. You learn where your time is better spent. I did. It’s well spent with people who matter. Ask anyone in sales how much time and money problem clients cost them if you don’t believe me. I can assure you they will be quick to enlighten you. 

At an event a few years ago where the client had hired an Officiant, you can imagine my shock when her mother called to tell me “you have a team. We want two photographers, help with caterers and a set up and tear down team. I’m going to need you on site for eight hours.” 

Stunned, I skipped a beat before replying “an Officiant is on site for an hour. You have not paid for two photographers or a set up and tear down team or assistance with catering. Lady, I’m going to give you a wake up call and a bill for WHAT YOU WANT in order to WAKE YOU UP.” That lady was an arrogant idiot. If she planned on having volunteers for her daughters wedding at MY expense, she apparently couldn’t read or understand my contract or both. I don’t work without a contract.

 I’m really good at saying no listening to surprisingly stupid suggestions, demands or desires from “entitled idiots” who think they make the rules. I’ve had plenty of experience. You want 10 people on site for 8 hours when you’ve paid for 1 person on location for 1 hour? Come on! Pull out your checkbook or put on an apron and serve the food yourself or find your own “volunteers.” 

The Tardy Party Bride and her posse literally pushed me to the limit. Yes, even I have limits. Thirty phone calls, text messages and emails were sent to me after that fiasco of a wedding and after being lied to. In part due to her harassment, I sued The Tardy Party Bride. We were on Hot Bench in 2015. I had filed the suit in Tarrant County. After being contacted by the show, we both agreed to fly to California. The episode? “Don’t Call Me Bridezilla.” Don’t act like one and I won’t. I won the case. I always “overprepare.”

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” Abraham Lincoln

If lying in order to gain a financial advantage for yourself seems “okay to you” here’s a heads up, it isn’t. Also, late fees are listed in my contracts. Why? Because I’m busy that’s why. Your tardiness affects my timeline.

Being a diva on wedding day and forcing your guests and your vendors to wait over an hour is selfish. 

If you aren’t active or retired military, fire, police, first responder or a teacher, don’t lie to me to benefit yourself by receiving a 20% discount you aren’t entitled to. That’s called Theft Of Services. The Tardy Party Bride was a Bridezilla. She not only lied to get that discount but also refused to come out of the dressing room for nearly an hour and a half on wedding day. Her tardiness affected my ability to be on time and on site with three other clients the same day. Her anger regarding my request to view her credentials? Priceless. She didn’t care that her tardiness had a domino effect to my schedule or my other clients. Selfish people never do. 

Weddings are Life Events. Regardless of where the wedding takes place. I spend a large amount of my time traveling from Fort Worth, Texas to locations hours away. Traveling is a very important aspect of my role.  Monday, I’m back at Green Bay Unit and Parker County Jail. Tuesday, I head out early to Huntsville to begin my day at Estelle Unit at 11:15. From there? Bridal photos and lunch before heading to Holliday Unit at 2PM. Bridal photos with my client will follow before driving to Polunsky and meeting my last client in Livingston, Texas at 5:30PM. It will be another 13-15 hour day of driving for me. Two cities. Three Units. Three clients. One day. Next week I have 7 clients in 4 days alone. Huntsville and Livingston Tuesday. Iowa Park Wednesday. Jacksboro Thursday. Lamesa Friday. Traditional bookings take place on weekends.

I’m always asked about why I offer bridal photography or why I invested in creating an extensive inventory to loan our booked clients for their events and photo shoots, the photos of my happy clients speak for themselves. 

Bouquets, furs, tiaras, fascinators and more? You bet! We bring a trunk load of our Texas Twins Treasures inventory to all of our events. Not just 1 or 2 bouquets but up to 10? Absolutely. Our clients often bring friends or family to their photo shoot and we make sure there are enough bouquets, bouteniers, tiaras, fascinators, furs and fun stuff for large groups. 

My staff and I are dedicated to making Dream Events a reality to such an extent that I add to our inventory year round and have even loaned clothing to clients who asked. I want your day as special as you are. Finding time to squeeze in mini photo shoots with clients on a multiple booking date is tricky but worth it. Clients often tell me that their photo shoot was the best part of their day.

Wednesday I’m in Iowa Park at TDCJ Allred Unit.

Thursday I’m in Jacksboro, Texas at Lindsey State Jail.

Friday I meet two clients at TDCJ Smith Unit. Raymon and Jeremy have waited months to marry. Raymond and Jeremy are also the first male LBGT couple I will marry in a Texas Prison. I’ve married several female couples in Texas Prisons but male couples are rare for reasons I don’t understand. Outside of prisons, a large portion of my clients are LBGT. For the first few years of Texas Twins Events, nearly all of our clients were LBGT. My affiliation and support of the community is well known. My clients are also my friends.

I look forward to finally meeting Eric in person at TDCJ Crain Unit. Like Eric, I believe a happy ending of a new beginning awaits him. Prison Weddings are Rainbows In The Dark…

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“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” –Dolly Parton

A group wedding is a group of different couples marrying at the same time in the same place. 

For me, as an Officiant, traveling back and forth to various states would be unduly cumbersome to my schedule and also financially not feasible to my clients. Because of this and the fact that many states only allow inmate weddings 1 or 2 days a year, performing a large number of weddings on the same day dependent on the number of couples involved also doesn’t always work. 

When does a group wedding work and why am I familiar with group weddings? Years ago, I began performing group weddings due to the many people wanting to marry after the Supreme Court ruling. The start of group weddings for me began then. 

I was the first openly LBGT friendly events vendor in Texas. While other vendors were hiding in the closet fearing retaliation, I was one of the many front runners championing same sex marriage. Frankly, many of my friends had waited a lifetime to marry and died never having the chance. 

I have worked in the entertainment industry for a number of years and subsequently had many friends who were LBGT. 

A lifetime of discrimination was endured  by many LBGT couples. They had no rights to insurance or even burial decisions of their partners. They had no tax breaks. 

Many years before the Supreme Court ruling, my friends Charles and Dewitt who died of cancer without the benefit of insurance from his partner of forty years, Charles was working long after emphysema prevented Dewitt from working. 

The loss of Dewitt’s income combined with his medical expenses and the inability of Charles to add Dewitt to his insurance crushed Charles who would never see the day of LBGT weddings becoming legal during his lifetime. I’ve seen the tragedy of couples who were committed to each other but could never be legally committed for years before the ruling. In fact, I published numerous blogs warning LBGT couples to obtain legal documents for their own protection which included a Body Disposition Affidavit. Without it, loved ones and partners were effectively skipped over by the next of kin to make burial decisions. Probate Courts didn’t recognize non legal unions. Survivors were stripped of community property as well. 

Charles and Dewitt are only one example of a couple who never had a chance to benefit from the health insurance or tax breaks of other “traditional” couples. Their lifestyles were often frowned on. Charles and Dewitt were twenty years older than me and longtime friends. 

For my friend, Charles, I also was occasionally the “beard” at formal social events acting as his “date.” Why could Charles and Dewitt not be seen as a couple? Because back in those days, their partnership would have never been accepted. In fact, cat calling and other types of discrimination or whispers were “normal” to Charles and Dewitt. They felt forced into accepting being treated differently.

As a child, it wasn’t uncommon for someone to refuse to wait on my family. Why? My grandmother was light skinned while my grandfather was dark skinned. In the 60’s, such unions were publicly frowned upon. Many of my family members are “mixed.” 

Dewitt’s family never accepted Charles. Charles was never able to help Dewitt who had no health insurance. After Dewitt’s death, Charles faded away. His own health deteriorated. Rarely I was still able to get him out of the house to go dinner with me at my country club but, his heart was broken. Less than a month after Dewitt’s death, his family went to the home of Charles and Dewitt and ransacked their combined possessions. Charles did nothing because he was powerless to stop Dewitt’s family. 

Charles was unable to make burial decisions because Dewitt and Charles both were unaware of the necessity of a Body Disposition Affidavit and Power Of Attorney. Because they weren’t married, Charles had no legal rights to make burial decisions or keep community property belonging to Dewitt. 

If I sound biased, it’s because I’ve seen far too much in my lifetime. I’ve heard whispers about my friends. These whispers were almost always from self professed Christians frowning on purple unions or alternative lifestyles. A few of these naysayers were my own family members. They didn’t “approve of my friends or clients.” I didn’t approve of their opinions. This rift between certain family members didn’t affect my belief that everyone deserves to find love and have love. 

I’ve also had death threats sent to my office over the years from people who had read about me in the Dallas Morning News and had strong opinions about my rainbow clients. I had choices. I chose to be open to anyone when I began Texas Twins Events. 

These haters underestimated my passion and determination. I could have been bullied into changing my businesses if I was a weaker person but I’m not. I don’t see differences in my clients. I see people. People from every background. People from every lifestyle. I welcomed diversity. 

People who know me are well aware of the fact that my life has never been easy. I left home with my twin sister at 15. We’ve been homeless. We’ve been poor. We’ve struggled and we’ve learned compassion and empathy firsthand. How? Our childhood lacked both. 

My mother was a heroin addict and my father didn’t want to be burdened by four children. We didn’t ask to be born. We were somehow “always in the way.”

Bounced from relative to relative. Abused at a young age, my sister and I chose being homeless at 15. We have never regretted our decision. 

For the first few years of LBGT marriage being legal, I performed group weddings on the courthouse steps in numerous cities. Why? I couldn’t be everywhere at once. 

For the first few years officiating jail weddings, I would literally bounce from one cubicle to the next at county jails. 

For the first few years of prison weddings, the hate mail and death threats I had endured after the Supreme Court ruling returned. I wasn’t intimidated. Instead, was infuriated. 

Who the heck were these people who believed their opinions or beliefs affected my clients? Stay tuned and buckle up for one TDCJ client who was SO OFFENDED that I perform LBGT marriages that she effectively fired me last year and is the reason that EVERY WENDY WORTHAM website blatantly displays BOTH LBGT and Prison Wedding Services. 

If you are on any of my sites and don’t realize this you are either blind or illiterate. 

One TDCJ Prison client took up a lot of my valuable time. I had talked to, emailed and texted her for months before she “realized I was LBGT friendly.” I reworked all of my sites through my developer specifically to prevent anyone else wasting my time again.  You didn’t know I perform inmate weddings or LBGT inmate weddings or biracial weddings and you have a problem with my other clients? Get lost. 

My time is valuable and spent on people worthy of it. I operate four businesses and I’m on staff at several venues. I’m also a consultant for GLG and a volunteer hospice clergy. I work seven days a week and have a very tight schedule. 

I regularly turn down large events due to drama and chaos. I don’t work because I have to. I work because I want to. I service several states including Texas as my home base. 

I don’t advertise and I’ve never needed to. If I’ve spent months walking you through the very complicated process of marrying an inmate, I’ve dropped whatever else I was doing at the time you called, emailed or texted me. Your questions or concerns were important enough to me to do so. 

If another client from a venue I’m on staff at or who is booking through Texas Twins Events or The Pawning Planners “has an issue” with my Prison or jail or LBGT client bases, I FIRE THEM and have for years now. 

Had I known that one TDCJ client “had an issue with my other clients,” I would have cut her loose early and spared myself her opinions and the justification of her opinions upon “realizing” that I married same sex couples. 

Experience is a great teacher. I’ve learned to direct my time and talent to only those who are worthy of my attention. I’m selective about who I work with. I prefer one on one weddings but I’ve performed many group weddings in numerous states when my schedule and the clients income prevented me from flying here or there for one wedding and one set of clients. 

I have flown to another state with my staff many times for one client but the client could and did pay for travel expenses. It’s rare I book large events out of state these days due to the time involved. When I do, the client was a referral. I always try to stack other clients in the same states to defer travel expenses. But, this requires other clients waiting or willing to change their date. 

Recently, a number of my prison clients were shocked to hear that I’ve had YEARS of experience with “jerky clerks.” I was on the news over an over again in Texas during a “wild window county clerks refusing to issue licenses to same sex couples.” I orchestrated picket lines and personally walked my intimidated clients into the clerks offices throughout Texas. I was angry that so many couples who had waited so long to marry couldn’t get a license to marry because clerks paid to issue licenses refused to do so “for religious reasons.” What the? I refused to accept this as a wall. If you are paid to perform a function and refuse to perform that function, quit or for goodness sakes do your job and leave your religious reasons BS at home. You work for consumers. Your job is to issue marriage licenses. It’s none of your business if the couple are LBGT or someone is planning to marry an inmate. Zip up your opinion. Review the documents and issue the license buddy.

For years prior to the ruling, my team and I traveled to states where same sex marriage was legal to accommodate our clients. I’m not shy. I don’t have a problem voicing my belief that love is love either. If people have a problem with my clients, their opinion is of no concern to my staff, myself or our clients. 

Charles and Dewitt were forced to hide their love story. My clients are my friends. Prison or Jail clients are thrilled to marry too. They don’t care about opinions. They have a love story. A journey. A story to tell. 

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Rolling Down The Highway. Timelines, Deadlines & Too Many Commitments…

Yesterday got off with a bang when my son went to pick up my husband’s recliner from Choates Upholstery while I waited on a FB connection to pick up the other recliner Cindy and I had bought to effectively sneak my husbands recliner out of the house. 

For my dedicated readers well aware of my husband’s eyesore chair, you know that for two years now I’ve tried everything to replace this worn out old thing. 

I’ve tried shopping for a new one. I’ve tried begging him to part with it for 7-10 days and I finally tried buying another one just to get it moved and refurbished. Ugh. 

Wanting the newly refurbished recliner “perfect,” I had bought upscale fabric at $39 a yard and even the foam. I wanted it firm so I could at least have a few years of my husband not grabbing throw pillows from around the house to “pad it.” I wanted the leg areas built up where my husband had duct tapped his own foam (bought at Hobby Lobby) and I was willing to pay whatever it took to get this job done right. I was sick and tired of his embarrassing old chair and determined to do something about it.

Many of you are aware that Cindy and I also own The Pawning Planners and occasionally barter and flip items taken in trade at Texas Twins Treasures. My furniture redesigns sell worldwide. 

In a home where I cherish my many treasures, that recliner had to go or it had to get refurbished. I don’t love refurbishing furniture. Doing so is an expensive endeavor. On the fabric alone for that haggard old recliner, I spent $379. The cost to Mr Choates to upholster it? $395. 

My son moved the temporary recliner that Cindy and I had bought last week downstairs and I sent a message to Barbara to pick it up. After posting a photo on FB that I would be putting a barely used recliner outside for pick up, a flood of messages had come in but Barbara had contacted me first and effectively had “first dibs.”

While waiting on my son to return with my husbands “new to him” recliner, I called Allred Unit to reschedule a booking on 12-18 because I was already scheduled at Buster Cole at the same time. 

The distance between Allred and Cole is 2 hours and forty five minutes. Since the chaplain at Buster Cole is on paternity leave, a visiting chaplain had scheduled me at 2PM rather than my usual early morning 9AM which gives me time to travel to Tennessee Colony or other Units including Allred in the afternoon. 

I’d had a call about “a date” at Allred Unit from someone that I had spoke to months ago. The problem? She didn’t book services and wasn’t on my roster. I cannot and will not bump a booked client so I had to notify Allred of a reschedule then give the new date to the person I had spoke to about six months ago in order to accommodate my Buster Cole client who had booked in September. 

Let’s go over “line jumping.” If I’ve talked to you, emailed you or texted you, you ARE NOT A CLIENT. Unless you’ve followed my booking procedure and signed a contract as well as paid your deposit, you are also NOT ON MY BOOKS. I do not advertise. I limit bookings to ensure availability. 

Calling me about a date at any Unit with my existing schedule when you haven’t paid your deposit or signed a contract is a continuing problem. You will be rescheduled and rolled into my roster when you meet the terms of my booking procedure and not “bumped to the front of the line” because you’ve either assumed my availability or thought you didn’t need to follow my protocol. 

Allred Unit is located near Wichita Falls in Iowa Park. The unit only schedules weddings on Wednesday’s. Every other Wednesday at 1PM. Due to their location and the fact that they only schedule at a set time with no flexibility, it’s darn near impossible to stack another Unit unless the other Unit will schedule at 9AM and they are within 3 hours of Allred. 

Unlike my other Units where I can move from Tennessee Colony to Huntsville or Huntsville to Polunsky or Lewis Units on the same day, Allred is almost always a one Unit day. Roach is within 2.5 hours of Allred but that’s a really tight window. I prefer to do Allred and call it a day. 1PM effectively kills the timeline to do anything anywhere else unless the other Unit will schedule in the morning and is within 3 hours max of Allred. 

My son returned with the recliner. It looked great until I sat in it. The seat pad was too soft and there was little if any padding on the leg areas. Damn it. $800 later, this recliner still won’t make my husband happy. I send my son to buy two more yards of fabric. I measure the seat and leg areas and go to the upholstery guy down the street and order a new seat pad and leg cushions with straps. Cost? $212 for labor $96 for fabric. Husbands reaction? Priceless. After twenty years with Mr Choates, it’s time for a change. I was very specific about what I wanted and he didn’t listen. Ugh. 

Refurbishing furniture is EXPENSIVE. Cindy won’t flip furniture due to the expense. She only barters quick flips.

Last year, my daughter in law told me her grandmother had an old sofa and since “I love to redo furniture” she volunteered my talents. I volunteered the cost. “Stephanie, tell your grandmother that she will need 8-10 yards of fabric and 5-700 dollars for labor.” I don’t love redoing furniture. I flip furniture for a profit. 

Leaving the other upholsterer, I take my son to lunch before heading to the Tarrant County Clerks Office to file Sonja’s license and request a certified copy I drop in the mail to her. I then head to Dallas County Clerks Office to meet Tasha and Keandra to sign a duplicate license. I married them September 14, 2019 and filed the license via certified priority mail and it was recorded then mailed from the clerk to my clients but never arrived. We’ve been trying to coordinate to meet at the clerks office for months now.

Leaving Dallas, I head to change clothes and wrap gifts for the McBee Christmas party at Joe T Garcia’s. My husbands coworkers are hilarious and swapped or stole gifts from each other after dinner. I always enjoy hanging out with this group.I’m up early today with indigestion because Mexican food doesn’t agree with me. I’m headed Ferguson Unit. It’s another busy weekend for this Texas Twin ya all… 

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Tire Trouble, Wet Weather & Winter Weddings At Michael & Beto Units…

Leaving my office this morning at 6:15AM, I was giving myself a wide berth on time since I wasn’t on site at Michael Unit until 10AM with two beautiful brides this morning but a winter frost hit Texas last night dropping temperatures forty degrees. With wet roads and unexpected traffic situations, I prefer to err on the side of caution. Fifteen minutes early is fifteen minutes late. I prefer to be 30 minutes early always. 

Sitting on HWY 20 for 47 minutes to drive less than 12 miles to the 287 exit towards Corsicana, I knew leaving early was a smart decision. 

Rolling through Corsicana, my brother in law, Steve called while I was talking to Cindy from a gas station near the Shell station I had just filled up at. 

The “odds” of my brother in law and I being so close to each other are rare. After all, a few days ago, Steve was in Canada then California then New York then North Dakota. Steve is a truck driver. 

Passing Russell Stover with no time to stop for a candy apple, a text from my 1:30PM Beto Unit bride came through. She was confirming my arrival at Beto. I texted back “I’m at Michael with Audra and Sonja at 10AM and will meet you at Beto at 1PM.” 

I had packed two umbrellas for my brides this morning but needed three lol. “A wet day for a wedding is good luck” I told myself as I walked through puddles to the Unit. Sonja was already waiting for me. Audra was in the parking lot but I couldn’t locate her to hand her my umbrella. Michael is a massive Unit. I’m at Tennessee Colony Units at least once a month. 

My brides and I sat and waited on our escort, Miss Smith together. At 10:32AM, Miss Smith met us and advised us “the Unit camera isn’t working so we won’t have photos today. I’m so sorry.” We were sorry too. No wedding pictures. Miss Smith is an excellent photographer who always takes amazing photos. 

Walking to the Unit, I advised both my brides to use the umbrellas. After all, it was their wedding day and I wanted them beautiful and as dry as possible for their ceremonies. I don’t mind walking in the rain. 

Sadly, Sonja’s Fiancee was G4 which meant a no contact wedding. Audra was married first. We chose the area of the visitation area with a Christmas display for our backdrop which would have been beautiful for wedding photos. 

Following Audra’s wedding ceremony, I signed her license and prepared for Sonja’s ceremony. We both walked to the no contact area and picked up phones. 

I tried not to look at the broken and cracked base of the window separating us. Cracked glass at no contact unit weddings always saddens me. Someone drove for hours to visit an inmate who slammed his fists on the glass. I can’t understand this. The person who had sacrificed their time to visit was met by anger. It’s a tragedy. 

The fact that my couples can’t hold hands or hug is always difficult for me. I wish they could touch. I wish everyone had the benefit of a contact wedding but it’s something I can’t control. I looked past the cracked glass at my bride and groom a love story that would one day have a happy ending long after lock up. 

Sonja began to read her heartfelt vows which would be hard to follow as her voice cracked with emotion. She had so many memories and many things to say. Her fiancé did an amazing job writing his vows too. 

Emotion on both sides of the glass from my couple made me wish they could hold hands or seal the deal with a kiss.

Leaving Michael Unit, our three suv caravan drove to the Tennessee Colony Church for bridal photos. 

I unloaded furs, bouquets and my props. The canopy over the door protected my brides from the pouring rain. They might not have wedding photos but they would have bridal photos.  Loading up and saying goodbye to both of my new brides, I head to Palestine to Beto Unit. 

I’m somewhat hungry and get something to go from the BBQ restaurant near Beto, Gurney and Powledge. 

Returning to my suv, I see a text from my 1:30 bride Taylor. A blow out in Ennis. I check the distance to the unit from Ennis and try calling Beto for Chaplain Strange. The line is busy. Taylor has called Triple AAA. 

I decide to skip lunch and drive to Beto to locate Chaplain Strange and advise him of the situation. My phone never works at Beto, Gurney or Powledge. I have AT&T. No service (as usual). 

I walk up to the guard tower but no one comes out. This is odd. I walk to the gate and hold my State issued ID at the camera and the gate clicks open. 

I walk to the shakedown and remove my shoes, belt and watch. It’s 1PM. I ask the shakedown officer to call Chaplain Strange. I have no idea how late Taylor will be but, I plan to visit with Chaplain Strange until Taylor can make it to the unit. I always enjoy our visits and appreciate him waiting on my bride running late due to an unforeseen problem. 

Inside the Unit as I wait on the Chaplain, I notice the festive tree and Christmas lights in the window as I wait near the vending machines. Beyond the twinkling lights razor wire glistens from the falling rain. It’s a melancholy moment. The festivity Of Christmas marked by the razor wire of the prison. 

I watch officers roll in the shakedown with mail and boxes. Inmates will be spending Christmas at Units as others send cards, gifts and photos to their loved ones locked away. 

It’s not uncommon for units to be decorated for the holidays. Most units are. I recall the wedding at Hughes Unit with a backdrop that read “Merry Christmas!” I listen to the trainees excitedly preparing to start their shifts. The shakedown officer asks another officer how his daughter is doing. All prisons are busy places of employees coming or going. 

Chaplain Strange and I visit for 2 hours before he leaves to call Taylor. The officer who takes photos has left. The transport officer has left. He leaves a message regarding a reschedule on Taylor’s cell phone as I wonder if she has AT&T too?

It’s less than a minute later when I spot Taylor at the guard gate. She’s a vision in pink and white carrying the Manila folder from the clerks office. 

The duty guard is trying to locate the Chaplain while Taylor waits at the gate with 15-20 TDCJ trainees go in and out around her. The Chaplain’s left my side while trying to find a transport officer for the inmate. There will be no wedding photos but there will be a wedding. Chaplain Strange saves the day by finding a volunteer to walk the inmate to visitation. A delay results due to finding the right key. Taylor and I continue to wait. She’s relieved her wedding hasn’t been canceled. I am too. 

Leaving the unit, Taylor follows me back to the BBQ joint I was planning to order lunch from at 12:15 when I read her text about the blow out. I unload items for bridal photos. 

She’s beautiful and happy leaving while  “riding on a donut.” She will drive on to Palestine for a new tire. Palestine is closer than Corsicana. I worry about her getting there in backroads. Driving through Waxahachie, Brandi from North Dakota FaceTimed me. I had talked to Brandi last night regarding her court date next week. I had advised her to sell her truck to cover the cost of her tickets and damage to the apartment building she had driven into a few weeks ago.  Brandi always listens to my advice but rarely takes it. 

Brandi was also upset that Raul was seeing Parole “the day after her court date.” I advised Brandi to focus on solving her problems and let Raul go. He’s married to Valerie now. We shall see how focusing on Brandi works as I worry about her and her well being. 

My daughter in law calls outside of Fort Worth regarding her upcoming baby shower. 

Raymon calls about Smith Unit calling Jeremy to the law library for the absentee affidavit. I’m at Smith Unit on January 17th with another client. I’d love to stack Jeremy and Raymon but without a marriage license I can’t.  

My niece Leigh Ann calls about our trip to CA in a few weeks and is excited about the box Cindy and I sent to Maddy. She texts photos of Alex and Maddy. Cindy had found a little red velvet coat and dress for Maddy. We still shop for her and send care packages every week. My husband calls and asks if he should keep dinner warm. I send him a photo of the clouds as I drive down the freeway and call him to say I will be home late and eat cereal. I’ve been on the road 12 hours and have at least 2 more hours before I’m home. My days are long but I wouldn’t trade my life or the joy I share with clients for anything in the  world.

As I roll into Belltower Chapel and call Taylor to check on her before I meet my next clients. She has a new tire and is headed safely home. I’m relieved. I worry about my clients.

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Love Is An Action Not An Idea. TDCJ Goree Unit to Gib Lewis To Jordan Unit. Travels Of A Prison Wedding Officiant…

Monday was a mess due entirely to dealing with my niece, Stephaney. Worrying about my niece is a full time job and the primary cause of all the stress in my life. 

For my twin sister, the stress of her daughter and her consistent shenanigans has caused not only stress but also high blood pressure and hypertension. 

I wouldn’t realize until Friday that the stress my niece brings to our lives would affect my sister to such an extent that she is currently awaiting heart surgery at Harris Methodist Hospital. 

We had a very full week and Monday as well as Tuesday had Cindy and I slammed busy dealing with her daughter Stephaney AGAIN. Stephaney would ruin both days for our schedules (as usual) and by Wednesday I was driving to several cities with Cindy complaining of chest pain yet refusing to go to the ER. Watching my sister pop nitro pills like candy my fear mounted day after day this week. The nitro wasn’t helping. 

Friday morning at 10:30AM, we had a Skype conference with the BBC and ITV. I suggested a reschedule. Cindy wouldn’t even consider a reschedule. “We have never rescheduled in our lives and this won’t take 20-40 minutes.” The call took over 2 hours. With incredible chest pain, my twin sister laughed her way through those 2 hours with the determination of a skilled actor. No one knew she was in extreme pain. Cindy and I have work ethics that surprise everyone. 

In Los Angeles, I walked into a pitch meeting with my production company with a broken foot. I had tripped getting to my rental and knew it was broke when I heard the snap. Cindy looked and me and said “we have an hour to be on here and then we will run to the hospital. Suck it up and smile buddy.” I did. No one knew my swelling foot was bothering me. A pitch meeting lasting two hours as opposed to the twenty minutes our production company expected left me limping out of Lifetime. The ER cut my shoe off hours later. Cindy and I both have a high pain tolerance so when my sister complains about pain know she is in pain.

Friday after the Skype call, we went immediately to the hospital. An hour later, Cindy was admitted to the hospital. Cindy’s EKG was normal but her enzymes high. More tests were ordered. Her heart surgery is scheduled Monday morning. 

Life with an addict in it causes more stress than people realize. You never stop wondering if the next phone call is more bad news when you have a loved one with a drug problem. Late night phone calls scare Cindy and I both.

Tuesday, Stephaney had walked away from the very same bus that Cindy and I had put her on from Dallas to Muskogee at 6:30AM. A bus that should have gotten a break from Stephaney that didn’t. 

Within 2.5 hours though, Stephaney would yet again upset our schedules and our lives with her consistent ability to focus all of our attention on her needs. Her emergencies and how nothing is ever her fault. Sigh. 

By Tuesday afternoon, after yet another “Stephaney situation” phone call of her claiming the bus had left her at a McDonalds in Oklahoma, Cindy and I were forced to drive several hours to Oklahoma then go find Stephaney and drive her to the to Oklahoma treatment center ourselves. Naturally, the treatment facility for severL hours from where Stephaney has left the bus and decided to relax while we drive to find her before she wandered off yet again.

My life has never been easy. Cindy’s hasn’t either. The number of times I’ve prayed, screamed and begged my niece to straighten up would astound you. 

Consistently trying to force Stephaney to choose her family rather than drugs is a twisted merry go round of torture for the few people who still care about my niece. Who are those few people? My sister and I. Everyone else has given up. 

By midnight Tuesday after hours of driving through Oklahoma, Cindy and I finally rolled into my driveway thankful that we didn’t have to worry about yet another phone call from Stephaney for at least  a few hours and get some sleep.

Stephaney is going to find her usual complaints of course as she always does. If we can keep her in this program, it’s worth the money to get 6 months of peace in Texas with Stephaney in Oklahoma. 

I still kick myself everyday for keeping my niece out of prison five years ago in Oklahoma. Maybe if I had let do hard time I could have spared Cindy and I as well as her twin daughters the past three years? Maybe if I hadn’t believed her when she said she would never do drugs again in Oklahoma and convinced me into getting her a plea deal and paying court ordered rehab she might have a life and a future right now after doing a few years in prison?  I can assure you that I won’t try to save Stephaney from prison by throwing thousands of dollars to defend her again. 

Having Stephaney where we know she can’t find drugs is and has been the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to accomplish. I understand now why people give up on addicts. It’s taken me years but I understand why people just give up. They just can’t take it anymore. Who can blame them? Addicts pull you in every direction mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. How did our mothers mother manage our heroin addicted mother? I will never know. I do know that grandma Tinney survived our mothers addiction forty years. I do know that my grandmother died far too young. Stress kills you.

Wednesday morning after getting approximately 2 hours of sleep, Cindy and I headed to Huntsville. We were exhausted from dealing with Cindy’s daughter, Stephaney Monday and Tuesday. 

Stephaney and her antics consistently rob of us of any degree of joy. Work is our salvation. Our escape. Our reward. We shake off our stress of Stephaney and focus on our clients instead. 

The pain and loss of having an addict in your family will never be understood by others unless of course they’ve been pulled through the dust storm of their loved ones choices themselves. 

The worry, frustration and anger don’t go away. Years later, Stephaney and her choices have also affected her twin daughters, Maryssa and Makenna (like Cindy and I) will never understand why drugs were more important to their mom than they themselves were. 

Cindy and I will never understand or accept our mother’s choices either. We can’t. I hate addiction and what family members addiction issues has brought to our lives. I hate that my twin sisters health has been affected by trying over and over to rehabilitate Stephaney. I hate that my own efforts have failed too. Addicts shouldn’t be allowed to have children.

Getting Stephaney into treatment in Oklahoma after she walked out of treatment in Fort Worth was as stressful as you might imagine. In Dallas, a man was lying in the street near the bus station. I didn’t know if he was dead or alive. It was 3AM in the morning. I told Cindy “call 911.” Stephaney said “who cares about him? I only care about my family.” 

As usual, I lost my composure at this ridiculously stupid statement. “Your mom is having chest pains. Your children won’t talk to you. Your sister wants nothing to do with you. Our husbands are sick of watching us try to save you. A man is lying in the street and you don’t care? Jesus, Stephaney, I wish you could find compassion, understanding or comprehension regarding why we are in Dallas at 3AM in the morning hellbent on getting you to Oklahoma. I have at least 10-12 hours of driving twice this week. For God’s sakes get on this bus and get your shit together. We NEED a break from you. You are killing our family. Do not get off that bus until Muskogee. I do not want another phone call from you until you are back in treatment. The counselors will meet you at the station.” 

Stephaney (as usual) would find a way to screw up our Tuesday. Wednesday we were on a twofer unit day from Goree to Lewis and Thursday I had two brides at Jordan Unit in Pampas, Texas. It would be another week of driving 1500-2000 miles for me this week. 

Arriving at TDCJ Goree Unit, the chaplain met me in the parking lot. There was a CLM issue and my clients wedding would need to be rescheduled. Not surprisingly, she would be devastated. The chaplain and I walked to her car together leaving my sister in my suv. Genekia had her sister with her in her suv. I spoke with her and tried to assure her that we would work through this issue together with the inmate and the law library. 

The warden and chaplain returned to Genekia’s car and the warden granted her a contact visit. This is rare and remarkable. For Genekia it was also a gift of generosity. 

You will hear me say this often because it’s true “prison weddings are rainbows in the dark.” More importantly, without the assistance of TDCJ personnel there would be far more hurdles to overcome as Goree had moved Genekia to 10AM and Gib Lewis had moved my other client to 2PM in order to accommodate my drive time between Units.

After a 15 minute contact visit, the chaplain escorted Genekia and I back to the gate. Because she had her sister with her and was dressed for wedding day, I suggested leaving the Unit and taking a few photos nearby before heading on to Lewis Unit.While on the side of the road unloading my inventory, a car stopped with a couple who offered to allow us to use their home for photos. This WAS unusual. I followed them in my suv with Cindy while Genekia and her sister followed us. My timeline was tight but within range to get to Lewis Unit. 

The location was actually perfect. My bride and her sister loved the trees and pond and we captured a few fun pics before I thanked our new friend and drove on to Lewis Unit.Arriving at Gib Lewis Unit at 1:30PM, I sent a text to my 2PM client to let her know we were on site.

Gib Lewis Unit is located in a beautiful wooded area. My excited bride and I entered together.The couple had both written their own heartfelt and memorable vows. Leaving the Unit, I found an area for a few bridal photos.Headed back to Fort Worth, Cindy and I are equally tired now. Cindy’s in pain that she thinks is angina. I’m very concerned. My son is staying at Cindy’s house caring for Maryssa and Makenna. We are hours from home.

Thursday morning at 6AM, my son and I leave for a five hour and fifteen minute drive to Pampas to meet my 1 o’clock bride at her hotel and drive her to Jordan Unit.

It’s 39 degrees outside so we take photos in the hotel then check in with my 2PM bride as we head to the Unit.

All three of us walk in together. The Unit has stacked my clients closely together on the same day which is truly a gift due to my travel time to Jordan Unit. The warden was so nice and accommodating that he even moved my 2PM bride to 1:30 so we weren’t left waiting. 

I want to give a shout out to the wardens at Goree and Jordan as well as the Chaplain at Goree for their assistance this week. I cannot say enough good things about TDCJ staff and their amazing efforts to make prison weddings a reality for our clients. 

Leaving Jordan Unit, my son drove my bride and I while my other bride followed to a nearby restaurant where we celebrated over lunch with both of my clients before headed back to Fort Worth. 

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No One Likes Surprises. But, The CLM Issue Is And Continues To Be A Sticky Surprise…

I’m a good listener. In fact I do a lot of listening from one day to the next. My role is to listen first and give advice after understanding the issue. Yesterday I was calling Wayne Scott Unit for a scheduled time on 11-07 when a call from my Goree Unit Client came in. Buckle up buddies because it’s going to yet another bumpy ride… 

My Goree client was buying a wedding ring and I advised her of the Administrative Directive that specifically forbids ring exchanges with inmates as a “heads up.” Luckily, she was buying the ring for herself. I had been playing phone tag with a Goree Unit trying to get her on the schedule. The Chaplain didn’t have the paperwork and my client couldn’t find her ring in the right size so she was asking me about the two week turnaround to get it sent out and returned and wondering if we would be scheduled prior to the ring being ready.

I advised her that I can “bump a date” from a Unit and if we came up on the schedule earlier than the ring coming in, I would move the date to coincide with her having the ring. 

About an hour later while on hold with Ramsey Unit confirming 11-13-2019 for another client on my birthday, my Goree Unit client called me back. The inmate was listed as being Common Law Married to someone other than my client. This consistent problem is an effective “sucker punch.” Why inmates don’t disclose signing a CLM Affidavit or going into the system and proclaiming to be CLM I have no idea BUT this issue continues to pop up over and over and over again. So much so that I’ve created a Dissolution Agreement to overcome CLM issues. 

For the record… inmates ALMOST ALWAYS say that they forgot about a CLM status. They didn’t. In fact, the reason they signed or claimed to be CLM was solely to obtain a contact visit. 

TDCJ doesn’t conveniently change an inmates status to clear the way for their inmate marriage either. 

In fact, TDCJ suggests a divorce but how do you file a divorce for a marriage that didn’t follow state guidelines to make the marriage legal when the CLM Affidavit was never filed at the clerks office and was instead within TDCJ? Short answer? You don’t. You cannot file a divorce for a marriage that didn’t happen. 

Let’s review the Texas Informal Marriage filing requirements… both parties must be present. Both parties must fill out the application. Both parties must pay the fee for an Informal Marriage License. Both parties must swear out an oath. There are no shortcuts to an Informal Marriage filing. There are no Absentee Affidavits. There are no absent parties. TDCJ does not file this document with the clerks office on behalf of the inmate and they can’t. Why? Because ONLY BOTH PARTIES CAN FILE AN INFORMAL MARRIAGE LICENSE in person. 

Over the years, this CLM issue has come up so many times that I now expect it. Creating a notary required form to dissolve this union traditionally works but certain Units also require a marriage verification letter or divorce verification letter. What is it and how can you find it? Here’s the link- Texas Vital Records Marriage Or Divorce Verification Letter.

Why would you need both? Because TDCJ Units especially Private Units make their own rules. 

Now, overcoming a CLM issue is time consuming, frustrating and emotional for ANYONE that didn’t expect such a surprise. Stay calm. This hurdle can be overcome and it has for my clients. In fact, my Coffield Unit client who was scheduled to marry last Tuesday but couldn’t because the inmate caught a chain is one of many who has overcome a CLM issue with my help. EXPERIENCE MATTERS. 

My Wallace Unit client overcame a CLM issue (with the help of the Courts) because the inmate was 17 when he claimed CLM status and effectively underage. TDCJ changed the status back to Single but only after the Courts interacted on my clients behalf. I.E. the inmates status wasn’t changed without interaction and assistance. 

Next week at Allred Unit I’m marrying 3 clients one of which was a transfer from Coffield who overcame the “sticky CLM issue.” 

Stay calm and we will work through the process…

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Michael Unit To Holliday Unit To Polunsky Unit. Travels Of A TDCJ Officiant…

Sharing the day with Cindy and I was an investigative journalist, Ella. She was in for a wild ride of running from one prison to the next with the Texas Twins. 

A day in my life is never boring. If you want to ride with me, you buckle up for adventure, laughs and a few surprises. 

Late Sunday, Ella and I coordinated my itinerary and her arrival. Due to Ella’s arrival time Monday at DFW, I had advised her to meet us on site at the Omni since there was no time to go to her hotel after landing at 2:30 and be on site in Dallas at 4PM. She had asked about the distance from DFW to her hotel and then to the Omni. Catching a Lyft from DFW to the Omni, Ella rolled her luggage right into the hotel lobby to meet my team. 

Learning that she had taken a Lyft rather than renting a car, I invited her to ride back with us but wondered where I would find room for her luggage? We worked it out lol. It was a tight fit but Ella was game to squeeze into my suv full of family and inventory like a pro. I liked her right off the bat. 

Ella was tiny and petite. She also probably had no real idea of what to expect. Most people google me and quickly realize I’m blunt and to the point. I don’t have time to be anything else. I get shit done and juggle clients and family with the fluidity of a seasoned tap dancer. I’m also ALWAYS on a tight timeline. My days are scheduled to the millisecond and leisurely lunches don’t fit into my lifestyle. I’m driven and difficult to keep up with. I’m also OCD. A list maker who always has a full plate and I like it that way.  Cindy is my sassy sidekick and partner. We do everything together. 

Ella quickly realized walking into the Omni that “structure with 5 children on site and an interview with me while chasing Leantrinette’s children” was out of the question and jumped right in to help my team. From handing inventory to rustling kids, Ella was quick to adapt to a really chaotic scene at the Omni. 

Normally, based on my schedule, Bridal or Groom Photos (complimentary and at no cost to clients) are scheduled before or after a Prison wedding.  I knew I wouldn’t have time between Holliday and Polunsky to do Leantrinette’s bridal photos so I shifted her to Monday instead. 

I should note that complimentary photography is reserved solely for clients marrying an inmate. Why? Because there is no cake, there is no music and prison photos are almost always disappointing. 

Out of focus, blurry prison photos are the only photos of my couple together so regardless of the quality, I purchase 3 Unit photos for $3 each in quarters for my clients. 

To solve the issues of “not having all of the things my traditional clients enjoy or take for granted,” I created an opportunity for my clients to celebrate their wedding day by bringing the party AKA my extensive inventory with me in my suv. 

Clients love their photo shoots with me and often tell me “my  photo shoot was the best part of my wedding day.” 

Finding unique spots for photos is challenging but I love a challenge! From veils to jewelry to hats, clothing, furs and more, clients excitedly open my trunk to find what’s in store. 

I had assumed that giving Ella a “heads up” about riding with me was in order. Why? I smoke, I cuss and my phone never stops ringing and I listen to 70’s music. Spending 15-17 hours in the car with me requires a heads up on what to expect. My salty language surprises a few people but I can’t change who I am to fit into a mold of what others expect. I’m a workaholic. A problem solver. Bold, transparent and unfiltered. Cindy is as well. Together we make a helluva team but we love 70’s hits and Marlboro Smooth 100’s and we are accustomed to spending all day in an suv together. Ella was ready for a jam packed 48 hours with the Texas Twins. 

Ella squeezes into my suv with my son, my daughter in law, her cousin, my twin and and with Ella’s suitcase, 17 bouquets, 15 tiaras, 12 bouteniers, numerous signs and 10 fascinators. We were loaded into my trusty suv like sardines in a can. 

Cindy and I were familiar with Leantrinette as she had requested that we do birthday photos of her mom for a surprise party in Dallas several months ago at Pappasitos. 

We rarely meet clients in person prior to wedding day but had met Leantrinette and her family. 

Photo shoots with children are tricky. Someone is always looking the other way. Someone is usually cranky or bored. We roll with photo shoots involving children because shooting for perfection is a hit and miss and because I’m always on a timeline. Leaving the Omni, I drove my crew and Ella to dinner. Ella had been introduced to the Texas Twins Events Team under a literal trial by fire of kids running everywhere, chaos and one toddler running into my pregnant daughter in law’s stomach. 

Bombarding the Omni as if we owned the place, Cindy was worried we would be asked to leave with all the craziness going on. 

To give you a clue about how crazy it was to attempt to orchestrate photos, here’s a video link- Texas Twins Events, Kids, Chaos & Clients chasing children on location? Yep. Welcome to my world. 

Occasionally, I do have children who love to have their picture taken as I did at Wallace Unit but it is a rare occurrence. The girls and little boy at Wallace loved playing dress up and enjoyed having their pictures taken. My trunk was a toy chest. Tuesday morning, while preparing to leave, Ella sent a text needing black socks. Due to the hour, there wasn’t anywhere to buy socks so I brought a pair of my own. 

Loaded up and leaving Fort Worth, our nearly twenty hour day would take us to many places.

Arriving in Tennessee Colony, I finally met Tonya. We had become fast friends during her prison planning process due to a number of hurdles. Getting Tonya married took months. There was a hold up at Michael Unit that concerned me due to my timeline. As Cindy and Ella waited in my suv, Tonya and I waited an hour and a half. Increasingly alarmed, I asked why we were still waiting and explained to the guard my need to be hours away at Holliday Unit at 2:30PM. The hold up was another Officiant running late AND under dressed with her client. We were waiting on the warden to bring a cafeteria smock to this “other Officiant.” Ugh. It’s a prison folks dress appropriately ESPECIALLY if you are an Officiant. You are expected to know policy and procedure and above all… the dress code. That dress was so short that the 3 inch above the knee guideline had been stretched to 3 feet! What the? Come on. I was as irritated as my client that this “other Officiant” had held us up by under dressing. 

Because of this unexpected delay, I asked to do my Ceremony first and explained why due to my schedule. Thankfully, the guard knew me and my bride and I walked outside for her ceremony while waiting for the camera. Realizing this could easily take 20-30 minutes that I didn’t have, I handed my quarters to Tonya at 12:17PM to run through the Unit back out to my suv. Thank God we did Tonya’s wedding photos before heading to Michael Unit. Cindy and Ella were panicking in my suv that we would be late for Leantrinette at Holliday Unit. I literally hauled ass on backroads with no time to stop for food or the bathroom.

Arriving with 5 minutes to spare at Holliday, Leantrinette was on site and ready to go. Leantrinette was thrilled to finally marry the father of her children twelve years later. We had a minor set back screening in due to Leantrinette’s top. Thankfully, she had a tank under it that I pulled up in the front and down in the back to cover cleavage and the need for a cafeteria smock. 

Running from Holliday to Polunsky, there was no time for a restaurant but during a gas stop, we used the restroom and grabbed snacks to drive on.

Arriving at Polunsky, Lastacia was right behind us at the guard gate. She loved the corsage and necklace set I had brought with me and wore them into the Unit. Leaving the Unit, we followed our TDCJ media relations escort to our photo area. Thank you Mr Durst! Lastacia loved the bouquet I had created for her photo shoot and Cindy’s coordinating fascinator.

Back on the road by 7PM, our four hour drive home was long but our day was productive giving our clients a wedding day as special as they are… 

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Reschedules, Rain, Backroads & Setbacks? Texas Weather Can Be Unpredictable…

Driving back from Huntsville this week, rain continued to fall. In Fort Worth though it was a bright sunshine filled day. This morning while planning my drive to TDCJ Cleveland Unit, a Reschedule was warranted due to flooding and road closures. 

The amount of time I spend driving to and from Units in Texas, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Missouri often surprises people. I easily drive up to 4K miles a week Tuesday through Friday to Texas Prisons. 

My ongoing arguments with “Navigation Lady” are why when I have my copilot, partner and twin sister riding with me that we use “dueling navigation.” 

A few days ago, as usual, Navigation Lady had me on a dirt road for miles. I have rubber floor mats in all of my SUVs solely because getting stuck in the mud or dirt is a high probability. 

Thankfully, this week, I didn’t need to strip my floors and use the floor mats to gain traction out of another “stuck in the road” incident. Navigation Lady and I continue to go around and around with each other. Ugh. From herds of goats to buzzards and rocks breaking my windshield to deer running out in front of me, I’ve become a road warrior running to Prisons. Cindy has too. 

I’m always asked “are you ever afraid driving alone?” The answer is no. 

The only time in all of these years that I was intimidated about driving to a Unit was during an ice storm. Ironically, I had decided to take a Greyhound bus thinking it would be a safe option. Due to inclement weather, the Greyhound station in Wichita Falls was closed when I finally arrived. My client along with her mother and soon to be mother in law were at the station to pick me up and drive me to Allred Unit. 

Wondering how I would get home, my new friends gave me a ride back to Greyhound in Fort Worth. We had an amazing day together and enjoyed lunch along the way. Yes, my clients are resilient, resourceful and far more than just “clients.” They are mothers and fathers. They are sisters and brothers. On that icy day in February, my bride and both of her moms were also MY HEROES. The mother in law driving wasn’t the least bit intimidated about icy roads either. We laughed and laughed about my first time “hitchin a ride.”

Last year after hitting a deer, I hitched another ride to Michael Unit. Will I do anything to get to a Unit Wedding? Absolutely. But, if road closures prevent you or I from getting to the Unit, it’s best to reschedule. 

Please be aware that many TDCJ Units in the Beaumont, Houston and surrounding areas including Huntsville are experiencing phone problems. 

At this point, there have been no TDCJ evacuations from Units due to flooding. TDCJ regularly posts updates regarding safety and security measures and you can follow them on FB as well as Twitter.

Regarding Hurricanes in Texas… 

In responding to federal emergency response doctrine and, specifically, the National Response Framework (NRF), the State of Texas Emergency Management Plan (State Plan) takes into account the needs of the whole community of citizens likely to be affected by an incident or event that requires a state-level coordinated response.

The State Plan complies with Homeland Security Presidential Directive 5 (HSPD-5) “Management of Domestic Incidents” and Presidential Policy Directive 8 (PPD-8) “National Preparedness,” the “National Preparedness Goal,” and Texas Executive Order RP40, which mandates the adoption of the National Incident Management System (NIMS) as the “declared State standard for incident management.”

The State Plan is composed of a Basic Plan, functional annexes, and hazard annexes. 
The State Plan responds to Texas Government Code, Section 418.042, which directs the Texas Division of Emergency Management (TDEM) to “prepare and keep current a comprehensive state emergency plan.” The plan outlines the “coordination of federal, state, and local emergency management activities.”

Further, this annex sets forth cross-agency coordination responsibilities as agreed to by Emergency Management Council (EMC) agency representatives in response to their mandate, Texas Government Code, Section 418.013, to “assist the division [TDEM] in identifying, mobilizing, and deploying state resources to respond to major emergencies and disasters throughout the state.” 

The State Plan is designed to integrate with other state agency or entity plans and annexes when they are included as subordinate appendices or attachments to the State Plan.

Reschedules due to inclement weather… it’s rare to reschedule a wedding due to weather but it can and does occur. I was due at Cleveland Unit today and due to flooding, we are rescheduling. If we can’t get there, we can’t get you married. 

Reschedules are relatively easy the first time. Two reschedules though can get tricky. Why? Because at two reschedules, the Unit can require us to file a new I60.  

With winter right around the corner and the possibility of icy roads, it’s essential to keep an eye on the weather when planning to travel to the Unit. 

In the event that inclement weather prevents either you or I or us both from making it safely to the Unit, it’s in our best interest to reschedule although I know it’s a setback and you’ve been anxiously looking forward to wedding day. 

I’m mailing out this weeks bridal and groom photos and filing licenses for counties outside of Tarrant, Dallas and Parker via certified priority mail and looking forward to finally getting to Cleveland Unit soon to meet my bride. 

Stay safe and check the weather prior to driving to visits this weekend. Many phone lines have also been affected by the rain. Goree was having phone problems Wednesday as were other Huntsville Units. If you haven’t heard from your loved one, it may be due to the weather affecting the phone lines.

A few Units are short staffed due to the weather affecting employees ability to get to work.

Please call Units and check before driving to the Unit and double check your route for road closures this weekend.

Cindy and I are “all over Texas and Louisiana” in the next two weeks and look forward to meeting all of you very soon. 

Leigh Ann is finally moving into permanent housing from San Diego to Point Mugu, CA next week and looking forward to meeting our California Prison Clients in the coming months.

Cindy and I will be in California several times in the next few months at destination events as well as inmate weddings and as always look forward to returning to our home state. 

Wishing congrats to all of our clients this week and thankful I had time to grab a bite of lunch with my Goree Unit bride, Stephanie this week. If you need a mobile notary, Stephanie is your “go to gal.”I’ve had several inquiries regarding transportation to Units. In the Houston area, AM Transportation can help you. In the Dallas area, my Ellis Unit Client, Naquitua can assist you. 

Regarding Vow Renewals and scheduling of previous clients for rebookings.. please contact me ASAP to confirm availability. We are as excited as you are to celebrate your milestone and can’t wait to see you again!