The Unsworn Declaration. What Is It And Why You Cannot Obtain A Marriage License In Texas With It Instead Of An Absentee Affidavit…

My Ellis Unit client had contacted me last week regarding the law library informing her fiancée that “we are no longer notarizing Absentee Affidavits.” 

I quickly reviewed TDCJ Access to the Courts, Councils and Public Officials as I was all too well aware that an Unsworn Declaration would not substitute for an Absentee Affidavit. Thankfully, the problem of the Unsworn Declaration was effectively solved with a phone call to Ellis by me and my beautiful Ellis Unit bride now has both the Absentee Affidavit and ID ready to buy her marriage license. 

This “shift” of not notarizing inmate documents is a problem for not only the inmate but also his fiancée. Why? Because the county clerk will not accept an Unsworn Declaration in exchange for an Absentee Affidavit. 

Communication is “key” between TDCJ personnel and myself. Thankfully, I have built a stellar reputation of good relationships with TDCJ staff members when encountering a “hurdle.” Today’s blog will address the “unforeseen issues” of clients wishing to marry an inmate and the hurdle of purchasing a marriage license in Texas using an Unsworn Declaration. 

CIVIL PRACTICE AND REMEDIES CODE TITLE 6. MISCELLANEOUS PROVISIONS CHAPTER 132. 

Sec. 132.001. UNSWORN DECLARATION. (a) Except as provided by Subsection (b), an unsworn declaration may be used in lieu of a written sworn declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit required by statute or required by a rule, order, or requirement adopted as provided by law.

(b) This section does not apply to a lien required to be filed with a county clerk, an instrument concerning real or personal property required to be filed with a county clerk, or an oath of office or an oath required to be taken before a specified official other than a notary public.

(c) An unsworn declaration made under this section must be:

(1) in writing; and

(2) subscribed by the person making the declaration as true under penalty of perjury.

(d) Except as provided by Subsections (e) and (f), an unsworn declaration made under this section must include a jurat in substantially the following form:

“My name is __________ _________ ____________, my

(First) (Middle) (Last)

date of birth is _________________, and my address is

_____________, ____________, _________, ____________,

(Street) (City) (State) (Zip Code)

and __________________. I declare under penalty of

(Country)

perjury that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed in _______ County, State of ________, on the ________ day of ________, ________.

(Month) (Year)

____________________

Declarant”

(e) An unsworn declaration made under this section by an inmate must include a jurat in substantially the following form:

“My name is __________ _________ ____________, my

(First) (Middle) (Last)

date of birth is _____________________, and my inmate

identifying number, if any, is __________________. I

am presently incarcerated in ________________________

(Corrections unit name) 

in _____________, _________, _______, ____________. I

(City) (County) (State) (Zip Code)

declare under penalty of perjury that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed on the _____ day of ________, _______.

(Month) (Year)

____________________

Declarant”

For the many people wishing to marry an inmate who assume the above Unsworn Declaration “is the same or similar or can substitute for an Absentee Declaration,” the Absentee Affidavit specifically states that the clerk “will not accept an Unsworn Declaration” ON THE TOP PARAGRAPH of the document. 

Let’s use Tarrant County for an example and note that although inmate marriage has been legal since July 28, 2015, that Absentee Affidavits at county clerks offices in Texas have yet to update the AA to reflect the use of this form pertaining to inmates. “Unsworn Declarations are not accepted.” 

The reason I’m pointing the significant variations of an Absentee Affidavit versus an Unsworn Declaration are specifically to advise you that trying to substitute one for the other will not allow you to purchase a marriage license in Texas.

Yesterday, my client from Hobbs, New Mexico planning to marry at Bridgeport Unit sent me a message upon leaving Anderson County, Texas that read “they won’t issue the marriage license because he isn’t here.” Checking the distance from Hobbs to the nearest major city in Texas, I found Lubbock to be an hour and forty five minutes from my clients location and contacted the clerks office myself while in my SUV at Green Bay Unit. 

Let’s “go over” what NOT to say if you encounter a clerk who is unfamiliar with inmate marriage. Do not say that the inmate is military. If the inmate isn’t military, the inmate still qualifies as being absent. However, many clerks (especially in smaller towns and sub courthouses) are completely unfamiliar with inmate marriage and the use of an Absentee Affidavit. This is why you need someone experienced and educated in your corner as your TDCJ Approved Officiant. 

I called Lubbock and my client is purchasing her marriage license as I write this blog from Parker County. As a person planning to marry an inmate, you may face challenges from clerks who either “don’t approve of inmate marriage” or worse, “have no idea that the same form they are familiar with can be used to purchase a license for an inmate marriage.” Rather than becoming upset or argumentative, it’s best to contact me.

A few months ago, my Michael Unit bride encountered issues in Denton County. Why? Because her Absentee Affidavit “was from another county and we can’t use their form in our office.” My Michael Unit client had called me upset about Denton County and to solve the issue of a clerk unfamiliar with inmate marriage or the use of an Absentee Affidavit, I instructed my client “to go to Tarrant County.” Since I was meeting a client at the Tarrant County Jail, offered to meet her there to purchase her marriage license. I married her at Michael Unit several weeks ago. 

Being in another state and marrying an inmate in Texas can be trying. My Florida client was married by me to an inmate at TDCJ Holliday Unit but, the process wasn’t easy. If you live in another state, I strongly suggest taking the Twogether In Texas Course online. Why? Because if you are flying to Texas, the three day waiting period can and will pose a problem to your travel arrangements if you are on a tight window. Not all of my clients can afford to take an entire week from work to marry in Texas. 

I’m including the link to Twogether since I’m well aware many third party providers are selling it at an inflated cost– Twogether In Texas Online Course. This course waives the three day waiting period and discounts your marriage license fee by $60. 

Why was House Bill 2865 passed? House Bill 2685 increased the marriage license fee to $60. However, the fee was be waived for couples who complete an eight-hour premarital class, and those couples can forgo the 72-hour waiting period to get married. 

AUSTIN – The Texas Health and Human Services Commission (HHSC) is spreading the word about a new state law, which took effect Sept. 1, 2008 that encourages couples to take premarital courses in Texas. This course began due to an increase in the cost of marriage licenses due to House Bill 2685. 

The state’s initiative, called “Twogether in Texas,” promotes marriage education classes that provide eight hours of training on communication skills, conflict resolution and other elements of a healthy marriage. Any couple who complete the class will receive a certificate that they can take to their county clerk when they apply for their marriage license. The certificate is good for one year and serves as proof that the couple is eligible for the discounted marriage license fee. The online class allows you to stop and start. The ONLY requirement is that you complete the course. You will then print your certificate. You will need to take the certificate with you along with the notarized Absentee Affidavit and TDCJ ID as well as your own ID to buy the marriage license. 

For clients encountering a “CLM status to anyone other than them” trying to get Approved to marry an inmate, the consistent issues of “this piece of paper” continue to be a horrifying surprise. Let’s first go over why any inmate who was granted contact visits by notarizing an Informal Marriage Affidavit obviously knew that it “wasn’t just a piece of paper.” TDCJ recognizes an Informal Marriage Affidavit as binding. If you are attempting to marry an inmate who is listed as being “informally married to someone other than you,” I strongly encourage you to have a serious discussion with the inmate regarding his or hers honesty relating to the issue preventing you from marrying them for a number of reasons but mainly because dishonesty isn’t the way to begin your marriage and secondly, because you have a very time consuming legal battle ahead of you. It’s also something you were wholly and completely unaware of. 

Outside of TDCJ, such Informal Marriage Affidavits must be filed in person by both parties at the clerks office. Use of an Absentee Affidavit is not allowed pertaining to an Informal Marriage Affidavit. 

The wide misuse of an Informal Marriage Affidavit in Prisons is astounding to me. For anyone signing this document unaware that doing so in the presence of a notary is a deliberate misuse since you obviously aren’t living with an inmate inside a prison, beware of the ramifications of signing such an instrument. Inside TDCJ, you CANNOT marry anyone other than the person on the Affidavit without providing TDCJ with a divorce decree. 

I am attaching a photo of the Declaration And Registration Of Informal Marriage for your review as well as the warning regarding falsifying documents. 

WARNING: IT IS A FELONY TO FALSIFY INFORMATION ON THIS DOCUMENT. 

If you are attempting to marry an inmate who has this document on file with TDCJ or any other prison, it’s a problem. It’s not a problem that can’t be overcome but, it’s still a problem. If you are a client, contact me to go over what will be required to move forward with your Prison Wedding Planning Process. If you aren’t my client, good luck. 

Outside of prison, an Informal Marriage Declaration once filed, legally binds both parties. A divorce is required to dissolve the union. 

If you are from another country planning to marry an inmate in Texas, neither I nor anyone on my staff will conduct your wedding ceremony. Immigration Fraud is a crime. We will not make exceptions to anyone for any reason.  

The end answer regarding Unsworn Declarations is that while they may be effective outside obtaining a marriage license, they are still ineffective in obtaining one. Only the use of a notarized ID and Absentee Affidavit will substitute for the inmates presence at the clerks office. 

Behind The Glass, Absentee Affidavits, Unsworn Declarations & What To Wear To Your Prison Wedding…

No one is “comfortable about marrying with an inmate behind the glass.” Many of my clients never planned to marry in a Prison and much less to be separated by the glass.

On one rare occasion, I had a client nearly vomit due to her surprise and shock to see her future husband on the other side of the glass smiling at her. Walking into a visitation area at a Prison to marry is dramatically different from walking down an aisle. 

The glass was not only unexpected to my client but also me as she was unaware of his status being “upgraded” due to an infraction. Walking in to find her fiancée behind glass literally took her breath away. Thankfully, I was right beside her to steady her the last few feet leading up to the glass. 

Infractions can and do change an inmates status. At any point during the Prison wedding planning process, a change in the inmates status can prevent the inmate from being “on the other side of the glass” aka standing beside my client and I. 

I spent several minutes trying to calm my client who had driven from Houston to Tennessee Colony before proceeding with her wedding ceremony. She was facing a long and lonely drive home and I wanted to comfort her as much as possible. Frankly, I wished she had brought someone with her to have a ride a long. Many of my client choose to bring friends or family with them and although no visitors are allowed inside the Unit, these guests are happy to wait on my client and I. 

During the Prison wedding planning process, I become every Clients mother guiding them and directing them through the process whether they are male or female. 

One of my Gatesville clients still calls me “Mama Wendy” and is planning his vow revewal with my team next year. 

The intimacy of my Prison clients by far exceeds any amount of time spent with traditional clients. Why? Because from what to wear to what they can say or do, these unique clients rely heavily on me to get them through a confusing and time consuming process. 

I would never ask a traditional client to send me a photo of what they plan to wear. For a Prison wedding though, this is a standard question. 

Glass can be upsetting at a ceremony when it isn’t expected. The majority of my clients wait months for their wedding to be scheduled. 

Posing for a photo with glass separating my client and I from the inmate at the Unit, finding creative ways to pose was a bit of a hurdle.

At TDCJ Ferguson Unit, Nikia wasn’t at all uncomfortable with the glass. Instead, I was. Why? It was my very first time to encounter glass separating my client from the inmate. 

The photo below was taken by a guard and Nikia loved the way the glass “merged” their faces. It would be my first encounter with the glass but, it wouldn’t be my last as a Prison Wedding Officiant. 

The status of an inmate cannot be changed. If the inmate is a G4 or G5, a lifer or on death row, he or she will be behind the glass. Neither you or I can change that. We must accept that there will be glass separating you and I from the inmate and effectively move on. 

There are a number of creative ways to address your Unit photos with the inmate behind the glass and I encourage you to do whatever will make you more comfortable when posing for your Unit wedding photo if  (of course) photos of your wedding ceremony are offered at the Unit. 

Some of the most memorable prison photos were taken by Andrew Lichtenstein. These photos show families visiting inmates and give a “different glimpse” of the domestic aspects of Prisons. How so? By giving a glimpse of the children, spouses, grandparents and parents of inmates visiting them. 

Photos taken by Mr. Lichtenstein “on the other side of the glass” also feature children who may or may not understand why their parent is in prison. 

To view the gallery of “life in prison” by Mr. Lichtenstein, click this link– Andrew Lichtenstein Life In Prison.

Before my readers “zip off an email” regarding Danny Lyon’s photos taken in Texas Prisons during the 60’s and featured in Conversations With The Dead, I’m well aware of the book and in fact, I’ve read the book, Conversations With The Dead  published in 1971. It is a very emotional and heartbreaking read for anyone unfamiliar with the life of an inmate. 

Danny Lyon has long been considered one of the most original and influential documentary photographers and has produced numerous highly collectible photobooks, mounted solo exhibitions at the Whitney Museum of American Art, The Art Institute of Chicago, The Corcoran Gallery in Washington DC, and won two Guggenheim Fellowships, a Rockefeller Fellowship, and ten National Endowment for the Arts awards. Lyon divides his time between New York State and New Mexico. 

Other Danny Lyon photography books published by Phaidon include Danny Lyon: Memories of Myself (2009), Deep Sea Diver: An American Photographer’s Journey in Shanxi, China (2011), and The Seventh Dog (2014).

In an effort to educate those who may be unaware of Danny Lyon or the access that he was given by Dr George Beto to photograph Texas inmates, I will add include the link to Magnum Photography featuring photos from Conversations With The Dead and a warning that a few of Danny’s Prison photos are graphic and might be disturbing– Conversations With The Dead. Photography By Danny Lyon 1967-1968. 

Between 1967 and 1968, Danny Lyon spent 14 months photographing inside six Texas prisons. He had already made his name with his sustained reportage from the frontline of the black civil rights struggle in the southern US states, but shooting inside high-security penitentiaries in Texas, where some of the inmates were facing the death sentence, was an altogether more soul-sapping experience. He would later describe it as heartbreaking.

The resulting book, Conversations With the Dead, was published in 1971 and immediately hailed as a classic of insider reportage. 

Times have changed since the 60’s and 70’s as photographers and/or reporters are no longer given the access that Danny was. 

Today, Unit photos are offered for sale at $3 each in quarters and occasionally given to visitors. Wedding photos at Sanders Estes Unit are emailed to myself and my client at no cost. Private Units do not offer photos at all and often Unit photos are grainy and out of focus. Guards are not professional photographers. 

Prison Unit photos are often sent to inmates from loved ones who purchased them during their visit. Other Unit photos are often framed and kept in the homes of loved ones to remember their visit to a Unit while still others are put on refrigerator doors as a constant reminder of someone who may or may not ever be coming home. 
Being married to an inmate who will never be granted parole is a difficult and serious decision. You will always be pulling the wagon alone. I discuss the aspects of marrying a “lifer” on a regular basis with clients. 

How successful are my discussions? Hit and miss. Very few clients have changed their mind about marrying someone serving a life sentence. Why? Because they had given their choice to marry months and occasionally years of thought. Their commitment and sacrifice astounds me. It also astounds most other people. 

Being a Prison Wife or Husband can be a lonely and expensive lifestyle. Your weekends are spent driving to a Unit and going through a search while waiting to see your loved one. Your holidays are spent alone. You jump to answer the next expensive phone call and you dedicate your life to the inmate. My clients give up far more than the inmate. They sacrifice on a regular basis to make their relationship work. 

My clients are usually standing beside me at a Prison wedding unless the inmate is classified at a rank that prevents contact. The client and inmate are allowed to hold hands, hug (no inappropriate contact), and seal their marriage with a kiss (no open mouths). 

My clients are advised to “keep it classy” by me long before their wedding ceremony. After all, we are in a prison and as such, I expect my clients to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner pertaining to the visitation code as well as the Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate wedding ceremonies. I.E. We follow the rules. 

I completed a follow up interview with Kate, a journalist following the story of Luther and Mary a few days ago. If you missed my interview with Mary before her wedding to Luther, here’s the link– Wendy Wortham Interview With Mary Martin Wichita Falls, Texas.

Luther and Mary will never hold hands at a visit, hug or even a few months ago, seal their marriage with a kiss. I admitted that this struck me as somewhat sad to Kate because it did. 

Mary’s photos and interview with me feature a woman thrilled to be marrying an inmate serving a life sentence. Anyone looking at my joyous bride would have no idea that her life would always be spent visiting Luther “on the other side of the glass.” Mary wearing my clothing or tiaras and holding one of my bouquets in photos taken by my niece, Leigh Ann “looks like any other happy bride.” The difference in Mary’s marriage versus my traditional clients isn’t lost on me. There won’t be a honeymoon. There won’t be dinners together at home discussing the workday. Their won’t be the normality or predictability that most married couples share. My clients accept the lopsided aspects of being married to an inmate. 

The glass is heavy and often dirty. Occasionally, there are also cracks where an inmate struck the glass. The cracks bother me. Why? Because someone drove hours to visit the inmate. Because someone went through the screening process and because someone who cared enough to come visit the inmate was on the other side of the glass when the inmate effectively punched it. 

Acting as if the glass doesn’t make me uncomfortable in front of my clients is essential to performing my job functions. I put my anxiety in “the corner pocket.” 

Marrying a couple when one of them is behind the glass will always be more emotionally challenging for me solely because the couple cannot touch one another. The glass will always be between my clients and their spouse and although many of them accept this without mourning the fact, I mourn for their loss of ever touching their spouse. 

I am a seasoned wedding Officiant and planner. I’m also well educated regarding the limitations of legal remedies for couples who aren’t married. 

I’ve seen far too many tragedies in my lifetime with couples who were not allowed to marry prior to the Supreme Court ruling legalizing same sex marriage. 

Whether my clients are “inside a prison or outside of a prison,” the differences between both sets of clients are often staggering to the “outside world.” 

There are many options “in the free world” that will never be offered in a Prison for a wedding ceremony. As a Prison bride or husband, it’s essential to accept the rules pertaining to your upcoming marriage and more importantly, to abide by said rules and regulations regarding inmate marriage ceremonies. 

Accepting that my Prison Couples may never touch is just as sad for me as it is for them. Silently, I grieve their inability to have contact during the wedding ceremony. 

I have also (for many years) Officiated deathbed wedding ceremonies for certain individuals that never expected to die who (upon their deathbed) want to protect their loved ones by ensuring their material possessions go to them rather than the state upon their death. 

These incredible and extraordinary “situations” are equally sad for me but, I am well aware that many LBGT Couples have lost everything to their partners family after death because they had no legal recourse as a spouse. 

Times have changed and Marriage now protects the surviving partner and more importantly, the assets the deceased wished to leave to them. Thank goodness that LBGT couples can now have insurance and the rights so many of my friends have lived a lifetime without. 

I have thousands of friends in the LBGT community and for a number of years, officiated Unification Ceremonies for those who couldn’t legally marry in Texas as well as driving to Oklahoma to marry them in a state where marriage was legal long before Texas and many other states legalized same sex marriage. 

Jeff Mosier of the Dallas Morning News interviewed me upon the ruling regarding same sex marriage.

Previous to same sex marriage becoming legal, I also strongly suggested to my non married couples to obtain 5 legal documents that would protect their rights should one of them become ill or die. 

The reason I continued to advise my LBGT connections to obtain documents was to protect them.  I had written the blog titled “Five Legal Documents Every LBGT Couple Need” prior to Texas recognizing same sex unions because I had witnessed the fleecing of survivors in courthouses who effectively had No Legal Rights pertaining to burial or the assets of the Union. 

I’m often amazed at the failure of non married couples who don’t take the time to sign a Living Will or to get a Body Disposition Affidavit in order or at the very least, to have a Power of Attorney document in place should an accident render your partner incapable of making decisions on their own. 

But, not having any say regarding burial of your loved one can be a shocking surprise. It surprised my father. It also saddened me while we were forced to wait 30 days with Gretta “on ice” at the funeral home solely because her sister “claimed” she planned to make burial arrangements. As the next of kin, without any documentation giving my father the right to supersede Gretta’s sister, my father was forced to wait while Gretta decomposed. A month after her death, I went to the funeral home and chose clothing while carefully applying make up and jewelry to Gretta the day before officiating her funeral. Even the frigid temperatures couldn’t prevent the decomposition. It wasn’t what anyone who cared about her would have wanted. But, her sister only cared about control. Kathy never planned to make burial arrangements and sadly, my father and Gretta had failed to file for an Informal Marriage or have me Officiate a Formal Marriage due to Gretta’s sudden and unexpected death. 

No one is prepared for death. It’s often a dark stranger that sweeps those you love away before you realize how fragile life actually is.  

I’m well aware of laws pertaining to death and the loss of rights to survivors because I’ve seen the greed of the surviving family members personally. Fighting over money and assets without any degree of care regarding the impact to a survivor when  “holding up a burial” is a purely selfish act. 

If I’m advising you to protect yourself legally, I’m doing so only for your benefit because I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what my father did. What you don’t KNOW will hurt you. 

When one of my best friends, Charles, lost his thirty plus year partner, Dewitt, Charles also lost all of Dewitt’s material possessions to Dewitt’s family as well as the right to make burial decisions. Why? Because LBGT marriage wasn’t legal at the time AND because Charles and Dewitt had failed to take legal measures that would have given Charles far more legal remedies. 

Charles died shortly after Dewitt and I am guessing that his death was due in part to his broken heart. 

I was the last person to see Charles prior to his death and knew his will to live had been lost. Less than twenty four hours after my visit at Harris Hospital, Charles died in his sleep. Charles and Dewitt had shared a lifetime together but, Dewitt “came from money” and Dewitt’s family fought Charles to get the money back and won. 

At the end of Charles and Dewitt’s long life together, I couldn’t believe the ending would be as tragic as it was. Both surviving families continued to fight over the assets. Neither family wanted the treasured pets left behind though. I helped find foster homes for the cats Charles and Dewitt had loved so much. 

What is a Body Disposition Affidavit? The right to consumers in Texas to use a Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit or similar written instrument was created by the Texas Legislature several years ago and codified in section 711.002(g) of the Health and Safety Code. The provision was embedded in the law dealing with cemeteries and was overlooked by many.

This authorization form helps consumers secure the right to specify ones body disposition. This law provides that consumers wishes as expressed in such an instrument must be “faithfully” carried out by whoever has the legal authority to control the disposition.

The other primary advantage of the Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit is it’s use by people who want to be cremated. In the absence of a properly executed Affidavit, the funeral director must secure permission of ALL IMMEDIATE family members who have the authority to control disposition. 

For instance, in the case of several adult children scattered across the country, this often time consuming task can delay disposition and drive up the costs of funeral arrangements due to storing of the body until all interested parties can be located.

Using a Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit eliminates confusion and allows the cremation to proceed without unwanted delay. For those interested in body donation for medical research and teaching, the form provides for an alternative in the event the body is not accepted by the medical school because of it’s condition at the time of death.

A separate provision found in Section 711.002(b) allows consumers to designate the person or persons they want to control the disposition. The form Appointment of Agent to Control Disposition of Remains accomplishes this. If no one is appointed to control the disposition, the following persons, in the order listed, have the right to control the disposition:
1. The descendants surviving spouse

2. Any of the descendants surviving children 

3. Either of the descendants surviving parents

4. Any of the descendants surviving adult siblings, or

5. Any adult in the next degree of kinship in the order named by law to inherit the estate of the descendant.

The Appointment of Agent Form is useful in order for a persons wishes to be carried out after death. The Appointment of Agent Form avoids conflict among survivors and the Body Disposition Affidavit assures that the descendants wishes for body disposal will be carried out.

Section 711.002(g) also provides that consumers may make their disposition decision in a will or in a prepaid funeral contract.

A Living Will and subsequently the “ability to make medical decisions on your behalf” is also something I encourage my clients to consider. Whether it’s a Power Of Attorney or not, a Living Will is also essential to protecting your loved one from suffering for months in a medical setting. 

A Power Of Attorney is nice to have on hand but, it won’t give you the same amount of decision making when your loved one is facing death. A Do Not Resuscitate Order will. 

A (DNR) Order Do Not Resuscitate (DNR), also known as no code or allow natural death, is a legal order, written or oral depending on country, indicating that a person does not want to receive cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), advanced cardiac life support (ACLS), or other aggressive interventions if that person’s heart stops. 

An advance directive is a broad category of legal instructions you may set up for your healthcare. A living will is a document that falls into the category of advance directives. 

Therefore, a living will is a type of advance directive. Other types of advance directives include: durable power of attorney (aka health care proxy), do not resuscitate order, and organ donation form.

Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. A durable power of attorney for health care, which is also known as a health-care proxy in some states, allows you to appoint a representative to make medical decisions for you. You decide how much power your representative will or won’t have.

What is an Unsworn Declaration? To better understand, click on this link– Unsworn Declaration VS Absentee Affidavit.

Traditionally, Absentee Affidavits were used solely for military members. The Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate marriage changed this. 

Absentee Affidavits are required to be sent to the inmate who will then visit the law library to notarize the document and mail it back to their loved one. The Absentee Affidavit in combination with a Notarized ID is necessary to purchase the marriage license without the other party present. 

“Why do I need an Absentee Affidavit?” Because the state requires this document. 

“Why do I need a notarized ID?” To purchase the marriage license without the other party present, you will need to legally explain why the other party is absent with an Absentee Affidavit in order to purchase your marriage license. 

BOTH the ID and Absentee Affidavit must be notarized. The person appearing at the clerks office must also have a valid ID and the fee for the marriage license. 

The Unsworn Declaration WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED at the clerks office. You MUST HAVE a notarized Absentee Affidavit. 

If you are a client and encountering this issue at your fiancées Unit, contact me. I will help you obtain a notarized Absentee Affidavit from the Unit. 

There are two types of marriage licenses–Formal marriage license and Declaration and Registration of an Informal Marriage (Common law). The basic requirements are the same for both types of marriage.

Both parties must appear in person.
Both parties must be at least 18 years of age.

Must have a valid, government-issued picture identification. Names will be reflected on the marriage license exactly as they appear on the IDs. 

The County Clerk’s office cannot change the name or spelling of name on ID. Forms of acceptable, valid identification include:

Driver’s license

State ID

Passport

Military ID

Visa

Must know Social Security number.

A blood test is NOT required.

Consistently, I’ve advised my clients of protecting themselves and their assets by marriage. In certain cases, I’ve also suggested Prenuptial Agreements. The “client” is the person who hired me and NOT the inmate. Often, the person who hired either myself or my staff has significantly more assets than an inmate does. If I’m giving you sage advice that on occasion may include advising you not to marry your fiancée, my advice is based solely on my observations and conversations with you. 

Please remember that your needs and best interests are my priority. I’m “everyone’s mother” when planning a wedding whether the wedding will take place inside a Prison or on the outside. I’m honest, wise and well aware of the repercussions of trusting someone you don’t know well enough to dedicate your life and quite possibly your livelihood to. 

If you and your fiancée cannot appear together to purchase your marriage license, the use of an Absentee Affidavit “substitutes” for the person not present. 

The Absentee Affidavit is to be completed if an applicant is unable to appear personally before the County Clerk to apply for a marriage license. The other applicant may apply for a marriage license on behalf of the absent applicant.

“Why can’t I fill out and notarize the Absentee Affidavit for the inmate?” Because YOU ARE NOT ABSENT the inmate is. 

There cannot be any corrections to an Absentee Affidavit. Why? Because a Notary seal make it a legal document and corrections void the legality of the document. 

Marrying an inmate is a confusing and lengthy process. Neither you or I can control the timelines involved. We wait on the ID. We wait on the I60 and we wait for a date.

“Why can’t I wear what I want to my wedding?” Because inmate weddings follow dress code guidelines. “What WILL HAPPEN IF I WEAR SOMETHING OUTSIDE THE VISITATION DRESS CODE? After all, I don’t want to look like a nun.” 

Okay, there are two options to “wearing what you want” neither are going to have the outcome you desire. First- you can be required to wear a cafeteria smock. 

Secondly- if you refuse to wear the cafeteria smock, your wedding will be cancelled due to non compliance. 

Thirdly, your payment will not be refunded because I have done my part by driving to your Prison wedding. 

I strongly discourage all of my clients about “winging it with their clothing.” I have solid reasons for asking you to send me photos and those reasons are to protect you from a “walk of shame in a cafeteria smock” or having your wedding cancelled because you refused to wear the smock. Please be aware of visitation dress code guidelines. 

“Why can’t I bring a guest?” Because rarely and I mean rarely have guests or witnesses ever been allowed inside a prison for a wedding ceremony.

In years of officiating inmate weddings, only three times have guests been authorized to attend a wedding ceremony at a Unit. 

The THREE weddings with guests allowed have all been at Sanders Estes Unit. No other Unit has offered to allow a guest to attend an inmate wedding.I’m well aware of any and all rules pertaining to inmate marriage within any state either I or my staff conduct ceremonies within at Prison Units. There are strict limitations pertaining to what you CAN and CANNOT do at a Prison. 

Although a few of my clients may wish to argue these points on occasion, please remember that my staff or myself are acting in your best interest by telling you what you can do and advising against what you cannot do. 

“Why can’t I bring a ring?” Because Section K of the Administrative Directive specifically prohibits ring exchanges. There is no “rule bending” regarding Offender Property.

“Why can’t I bring a change of clothes for the inmate? I don’t want our wedding photos with him wearing Prison issued clothing.” Because once again, Offender Property guidelines strictly prohibit bringing anything in to give to the inmate.

“What can I bring?” You are REQUIRED to bring the marriage license, your current and valid state issued ID or passport, your car keys and quarters in a clear plastic bag to purchase Unit photos if they are offered.

“What can you bring?” My ID, my car keys and my Bible as well as notes inside my Bible. If you have handwritten vows or anything else written on paper, you MUST give these to me prior to entry. I will put your notes in my Bible and give them to you at the commencement of the ceremony.

Weddings “on the outside” include guests, bouquets, vendors, cake, and all of the other elements that “weddings on the inside don’t.” 

The majority of my Prison wedding clients re book upon release of their loved one for Vow Renewals. 

Everything you couldn’t do “on the inside” including your choice of clothing, a wedding ring, guests and the like are included at your Vow Renewal. Fees are based on distance from Fort Worth, Texas.

I hope this explains and subsequently, answers your questions and I look forward to meeting you at your Prison Wedding soon… 

“Everybody Clings To Their Own Fear. Everybody Hides Their Scars” Moving On Down The Highway…

Wednesday afternoon while headed to Willow Lake Event Center, my TDCJ Beto Client called me while exiting Santa Fe towards the venue and my “traditional clients.” Sitting at the red light watching semi’s pulling out of Petro, I hit “accept” and wondered where my brother in law, Steve was driving since I hadn’t heard from him since Monday and if my niece, Stephaney would get the waitress job she had applied for at Petro? My mind never stops.

Apparently, the Warden at Beto had called my bride which is somewhat unusual. I shifted my attention to her to find out more. “He will be behind glass. The glass upsets me. I was hoping to hold his hand or hug him but, we will be separated. I’m terribly upset about this.” Dang. I was rattled myself. “The glass.” No one loves the glass. 

Since I was thirty five minutes early for my appointment at Willow Lake and only twelve minutes away, I pulled into Petro to attempt to calm down my client. 

I should note that the majority of my “upset client calls” will always be my Prison Wedding Clients. Why? Because they are not in control of a lengthy process that often confuses them and occasionally even scares or angers them. I’m the hand holder. I’m generally the go between and I’m usually the one talking to the Warden. 

The glass is something no one is ever comfortable with. Behind the glass, the inmate is also handcuffed. At Ferguson Unit, the inmate was also locked into the cage behind the glass. 

Ferguson was also the first time I would encounter an inmate behind the glass and effectively, shocking to me. I didn’t expect the glass although my client was prepared for it. Occasionally while inside the visitation area for a wedding ceremony, I will notice the glass cracked or writing on the wood. I asked one guard “how did the glass get broken?” 

The answer surprised me. “Well, Miss Wendy, the inmates get angry at visitors and hit the glass.” Hit the glass? To the person that drove all the way to the Unit? Waited in a long line. Went through the screening process? I was shocked. The wiring under (also sometimes above) the glass was how my client and I communicated with the inmate. It’s essential that the inmate can understand the commitment aspect of the wedding ceremony. 

I was more than a little nervous about the inmate hearing and subsequently, understanding me but, he could easily hear and understand the ceremony. 

The wedding photo above thrilled my client because the glass “merged them together.” Walking back to the parking lot, I hid my silent tears from my client and “braced myself” for smiles a few miles from the Unit for her wedding photos. I didn’t want her to know how rattled I was about the glass and the wedding photos. I hid my sorrow intentionally. She couldn’t touch him. It pained me. 

As a mother, the aspect of marrying an inmate is a lonely life of isolation for many of my clients marrying an inmate that is often serving 20, 30, 50 years or even life. My clients may never see their spouse on the outside. It’s not an easy path. They may never touch them. 

I worry about my TDCJ Clients and on occasion, have even talked a few out of marrying the inmate. It’s a rare occurrence but, it has happened. The “Coffield Unit Con Man” who attempted to control my client and her money needed the boot and got it. 

On my fourth phone call from my emotional Coffield client, I had suggested that she consider what the inmate was bringing to her life. If the only “gift” was strife and argument, it was a gift that she needed to give back. 

It took a month but, the Prison Wedding Planning Process isn’t “quick or easy.” If one of my TDCJ clients wants “out,” they have time to effectively “hit the highway.”

Mary was determined to marry Lester. Her path wasn’t easy. It would take months. Mary would never touch Lester. The glass would always be separating them from one another even on their wedding day. 

The glass didn’t make Mary uncomfortable as it hadn’t made Nikia uncomfortable. Mary and Nikia were prepared for the separation. I was the only one uncomfortable with the glass and the inability of my clients to touch their new spouses. It always saddens me. 

It’s difficult for me to accept that for a number of my clients, they will never touch their spouse. The glass will be a part of every visit they make to the Unit. It will be a permanent “barrier.” 

The glass is something neither I or anyone else can  change but, it always saddens me nonetheless. It’s something I must accept ascmy clients have. It’s also something “I’m working on.” G4 and G5 inmates are always behind the glass. Lifers are too. I’m never really prepared mentally to Officiate a ceremony that won’t be “sealed with a kiss.” My heart hurts. I have had hundreds and even over a thousand “other couples” to compare my wedding ceremonies to. 

From my couples “on the outside” to couples “on the inside,” the differences between both sets of my clients is significant. 

While one set of my clients worries about the perfect dress, the perfect cake, the perfect venue, the guest list, the DJ, the photographer and more, the other set of clients drives several hours to get to the Unit, worry that their clothing will be within the visitation guideline, and try to remember to bring quarters to buy low quality wedding photos for $3 each if they are even offered at the Unit. Private Units do not offer photos. 

I had finally calmed my Beto client down “about the glass” before pulling out of Petro. It wasn’t an “easy conversation” it never is when a client is upset. 

Mentally, I prepared myself for the first “behind the glass” ceremony at Beto. I wondered if they would have the phones Allred did that no one could hear using? I hoped my bride wouldn’t cry seeing the inmate behind the glass. 

I recalled my Coffield client vomiting in a trash can beside me when we walked in to find her beau behind the glass. The shock rattled her to such an extent that it took several moments to calm her before proceeding with the ceremony. She also “nearly ran” from the Unit following the ceremony. I was forced to chase her down because I feared that if she left the Unit upset, she might have a car accident. Luckily, I had plenty of time to talk her through the shock of the glass and explain to her that it was something neither of us could control. 

Normally, I leave one Unit to head to another. On the Coffield Unit day of “the glass,” I wasn’t due at another Unit for several hours and had plenty of time to spend with my client. She was so upset that she skipped doing bridal photos and I bought her lunch instead at the infamous General Store in Tennessee Colony. 

Thursday morning at 6AM, I checked in with my Beto bride. I was juggling several other “traditional clients” on my books for rehearsals Wednesday evening, Thursday evening and Friday evening for wedding ceremonies at venues on Saturday and Sunday. I was also apprehensive about how my bride would react to “the glass.” 

In fact, I was so worried about my bride that I offered to drive her myself to the Unit. This is rare but, it’s happened. My Estes bride didn’t drive and took a bus from Houston to Fort Worth. I picked her up and took her to breakfast before driving her to Sanders Estes for her ceremony and upon leaving the Unit, had a great time with her at the Botanic Gardens getting some fun bridal photos for her. 

I’m different. You will hear me say this over and over because it’s true. I care about my clients and their journey. It’s not an easy journey for TDCJ clients.

At 9:30AM Thursday, I had already been to the post office to mail photos and contracts to clients, filled up my SUV, hit the bank for quarters, met with my Saturday client to go over vendor details and driven through a Starbucks for egg white bites and a non fat latte. My Beto bride was to meet me at 9:30 and leave her car at my home. 

The drive to Beto could run two hours and fifteen minutes to two hours and thirty minutes based on traffic and road construction. 

Sitting in my SUV and responding to emails regarding Roach, Darrington, Hutchins, Bradshaw and Garza East Units while sipping my latte, I checked the time, 10:01AM. Alarmed, I sent a text to my bride to ask where she was? 

A few minutes later, she responded “my son was late to school and I need to leave him with my inlaws. They live in DeSoto.” I quickly checked the distance from DeSoto to Beto and DeSoto to my location to Beto. 

There was no way my client could get from DeSoto to me and me to drive to Beto and arrive by 1PM. Because of this, I suggested meeting me at Beto. I would arrive first and if my client was runnng late, explain her tardiness to the wardens secretary. I also immediately left my driveway headed for Beto.

With my preselected stack of cd’s beside me, it would be a day of music from artists with the first name of John. I noticed this before jumping on 20 to head to 287. Usually, I just grab a stack from my case and apparently, my husband had organized cd’s in the order of the first name. I thought I was OCD lol. 

From Johnny Cash to John Cougar Mellencamp to John Denver and John Fogerty, I opted for Fogerty and thought about the hearing and lawsuit he had won regarding being himself. For those unaware of the irony or the story, here’s the link– John Fogerty Plagiarism Suit 1988. Plagiarizing himself? How could he be anyone else. The case went before the Supreme Court. 

With “Here We Go Rocking All Over The World” blaring on my radio, I jumped onto the highway. I would be “on the dash” because I had planned to leave at 9:30AM with my client. I operate on strict timelines that allow a “cushion.” I’m not a last minute anything type of person. 

The drive through Waxahachie is often time consuming due to traffic but, I was making good time and checked in with my client on her GPS estimated arrival time. 

Taking several phone calls during my trip, Cindy and Stephaney were at her second interview at Petro. Steve was in New York. 

My son was in Arkansas and my husband was back at the “Stinky Skunk Development In Springtown.” Leigh Ann was editing photos for three clients. The skunk development has been an ongoing escapade. Everyone in my husband’s office questions “why Matthew is handling it himself?” John, the builder had never encountered a problem of this magnitude. In fact, no one had. My husband has tried everything to get the smell out of the house and if he can’t, will be the person forced to deal with the homeowner returning from Japan May 4th. The same day I’m out of town with clients and my team. Ugh.

Driving through Eureka, Texas and thinking to myself “there should be an exclamation point after the name,” I check back in with my client. She’s due to arrive at Beto at 12:47PM. I’m rolling in (according to navigation lady) at 12:32PM. 

I changed my cd to Elton John and paid attention to the words as I sang along to “let us strive to make a way to make all hatred cease. There’s a man over there. What’s his color? I don’t care. He’s my brother. Let us, let us live in peace” as I rolled on over a long bridge with a peaceful lake that no one is ever using on my trips to Tennessee Colony. Why doesn’t anyone use that lake? I wonder this on every trip across the bridge. 

Twenty minutes out from the Unit, I call Cindy before popping in John Cougar and laughing about his “hey, hit the highway!” Its funny to me because I’m always hitting the highway and “finding a lover that won’t drive you crazy” while stating that you want them to “hit the highway” is somewhat offensive and blunt to say the least. It’s also funny. John Cougar is a real character. 

The joys of road construction in Tennessee Colony continue. Now the “follow me” truck has moved from Coffield/Michael to Beto/Gurney. Jeez. I call my bride. She’s about ten minutes behind me. I remind her not to speed and get pulled over. 

As I stand in the parking area looking for my client, I decide to go to the entrance and alert the tower of my arrival. She arrives a few minutes later looking beautiful in slacks with blonde hair. I wonder if she had colored it since I had last seen her? I love the cut. As usual, I consider growing my hair out and trying to go with a new style but, who are we kidding here? I constantly try to cut my own hair and lack the patience to grow my hair out. 

Walking into the Unit, we screen in and wait. As usual, my bra sets off the metal detector and we take a seat. I’d skip the underwire but, I’m far too busty. One day, maybe when I have time, I will get a reduction.

My friendly guard comes to escort us and asks “how is your twin doing?” Cindy’s basement has flooded yet again from heavy rain and I’m headed to Parker County today after filing licenses in Tarrant County to help her mop up. The Daniel Diva house consistently floods in the basement. We’ve had twenty years of flooding at Cindy’s. It’s an ongoing escapade.

Walking in, I look for the phone or a hole under the glass. There isn’t one. The steel mesh above the glass is how the inmate will hear us. It’s difficult to get a clear photo with the glass and the area we are in is somewhat cramped. My client is doing well under the circumstances. She’s not crying or upset.

Leaving the Unit, I suggest stopping at the General Store for her to use the restroom and offer to buy her a cola. I was surprised to hear that she doesn’t consume caffeine and bought her a cranberry juice instead. 

We head to my favorite new abandoned building outside Tennessee Colony on the way back to Corsicana. I love the peeling paint and forgotten “look” of this building right off the remote back roads.My bride is joyous the wedding is over and she can now have some fun. Most of my clients have the most fun with me on location photography shoots. As I go through my rolling photo booth switching out props and changing areas, my Saturday client, Brok sends a text to confirm Saturday at 3PM. I answer “my team and I will be there with bells on.” 

Brok responds “we are so excited!” My team and I are too. I’ve been looking forward to this wedding and celebration for a month now. They are incorporating hand fasting into their ceremony and I love creative input. Brok and Ruben are so much fun. My bride loved the props I had packed and I asked “how much gas do you have? Do you have to stop for gas on your way back to DeSoto?” She did so I handed her an extra roll of quarters from my SUV and gave her a hug as I headed on to Hodge Unit to meet my next client. 

I want only good things for all of my clients. My TDCJ clients often face a difficult journey because they are effectively “pulling the wagon alone.” For many of them, the inmate faces many years but, for my Beto bride, the inmate is due for release in three. I’m happy to hear this because at the very least, she will have an opportunity to experience married life “on the outside.” 

A very large percentage of my clients will never have the opportunity. My heart is heavy for the journey they will face without ever having an opportunity to hold their partners hand. Their passion and resilience is unmatched by most couples. The sheer dedication of my clients is amazing. They don’t give up. For them, live isn’t only a four letter word. It’s their life. Love believes all things and bears all things for my TDCJ Clients. 

My husband sends a text from his office that cracks me up near Corsicana. The staff had sprinkled powder and purchased a stuffed skunk to surprise him. It’s hard to laugh about the skunk that’s caused so many problems but, my husband did.Hopefully, in the coming week, the smell is resolved before the homeowner returns. My husband saw an Elk near the new home and was amazed at the wildlife out in Springtown. I remind him of my encounter with a black bear on the patio of the lake house in Arkansas. I’m not a “country person.” If I never encounter another bear, I’m “good with it.”

Rolling back onto the highway outside Corsicana, I pop in Melissa Etheridge and “Everybody Has A Hunger No Matter Who They Are.” Melissa is right. I’m hungry for dinner back home and looking forward to sharing supper with Matthew before running off to Marty Leonard Chapel to meet clients. 

I hope my clients and connections enjoy a beautiful weekend of sunshine and enjoy a few good times, great music and Spring weather… 

It Takes Grace To Remain Kind In Cruel Situations…

While headed to San Antonio for an event this weekend, I was surprised to see a post about my bride, Mary Martin who was a juror that decided to marry Lester who was sentenced to life in prison. 

Of course, I had concerns about Mary and Lester agreeing to an interview about their plans to marry because I warily realized that not everyone could or would understand their fairly unique love story and, I was right. 

Public comments broke my heart as I hoped that Mary paid no attention to them. Mary is a sweetheart and although her love story isn’t for everyone, it’s her love story and by being interviewed, it’s now a story that everyone is talking about. 

If you are one of the people who happened to miss the story, here it is– Wedding Planned Between Felon Serving A Life Sentence And A Juror. The “tag line” alone is an “eye catcher.”

Marrying someone serving a life sentence with no chance for parole is a tough choice. It’s a choice that leaves the “person on the outside” making a lot of sacrifices. What are they? Long drives to the Unit, expensive phone calls and putting money on an inmates books for commissary. Loving an inmate is expensive. 

As a TDCJ Approved Officiant, I’ve seen my fair share of surprising unions. From former guards marrying inmates to attorneys marrying their previous client, it’s tough to surprise me anymore. Love knows no bounds. 

Dropping my niece, twin sister and all three of my grandnieces at Fiesta Texas, I headed over to the River Walk to meet my clients for the rehearsal dinner with “Mary on my mind.” I had emailed her back and forth yesterday about dates for her upcoming wedding and her paperwork that hadn’t made it to the Chaplain’s office just yet. I60’s Request For Marriage Forms require up to 6 signatures at Prison Units. It’s a time consuming process for my clients. 

I decided to order myself a drink while waiting on my clients and worrying about Mary and hoping the negative comments aren’t getting to her. 

I love the river walk in San Antonio. From the mariachi bands to the riverboats, it’s another world from Fort Worth.

Since I’m asked “what percentage of our client bases are traditional?” The answer has changed over the years. In the beginning, a large percentage of our clients were LBGT. After merging Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create the barter option with The Pawning Planners, the number of Pawning Planners bookings in comparison to Texas Twins Events or Texas Prison Weddings is remarkably small. But, addressing every economic class has been essential to our growth and success. I’ve never been afraid to take a chance on an idea and neither has my twin sister, Cindy. Did we expect that Prison or Jail Weddings would take over my calendar Monday through Friday year round? No. Who would? But, my bookings went from evening and weekends or seasonal to year round because I was willing to rebrand and expand not only once for The Pawning Planners but twice to expand Texas Twins Events to include Texas Prison Weddings. 

Everyone asks about LBGT Prison Weddings. The answer is yes, I also Officiate LBGT Prison Weddings. My businesses are diverse to say the least and we continue to have a strong presence in the LBGT Community. Did I expect a “boom” to our business from being open minded? No. But, my goal has always been to treat every client like family. To celebrate their differences and successes and treat them as the individuals they are. 

I’ve had several new bookings already this month and I’m at Bell Tower Chapel as well as Willow Lake Event Center and the wonderful Mercado Event Center. The one thing I enjoy perhaps the most is my versatile Client base and I’m never worried about getting bored. 

Variety is the spice of my life and with four generations of my family working with me to make “Dream Events a reality one family (or barter) at a time from Fort Worth, Texas,” I can assure you that resilience and perseverance along with an open mind and heart are how my team and I have weathered every storm and are still going stronger than ever rolling into our 9th year of more adventures, more families and more fun. 

I’m at Allred Unit this Wednesday with several clients and hopefully, Mary’s paperwork will be moved through the channels in order for her wedding to be approved by February 20th this month. 

At this point, getting Mary and Lester married as soon as possible might just put an end to the widespread comments regarding their unique relationship. 

The continued emails regarding my Hughes Unit Groom and his Bride continue. Yes, I know that he was on I’m A Killer Episode 4 and no I don’t google anyone who happens to be an inmate either. My TDCJ Clients aren’t obligated to disclose the reasons their loved one is incarcerated AND I don’t ask either. 

For those of you who realized that “you had seen him before” that felt compelled to email me and ask for his name, the reason I didn’t use names on the post was specifically because the Bride told me about the “I’m A Killer” while we were waiting on the groom. 

I was unaware of the show prior to booking the event but, even if I had known, it wouldn’t have altered my decision to marry the couple. Television rarely holds my interest. I prefer to read when relaxing and enjoy learning new things and spending time with my family. 

While in San Antonio for this wedding, I am enjoying spending time with my family. The luxury of creating my businesses was to not only help others needing event services but also to spend the time I had missed all of these years working for someone else with my family which is why I created Texas Twins Events in the first place. 

The twins and Maddy had a great time at Fiesta Texas and I’m looking forward to seeing them later for a late dinner. 

My niece, Leigh Ann is handling photography at the wedding tomorrow and my twin sister, Cindy will be taking care of her three granddaughters while Leigh Ann and I spend a few hours on location with our happy couple. 

Leigh Ann loves her new SUV and it is really coming in handy for our road trips too. We now have four suvs and two trucks. My team have learned that cars just don’t cut it in the event business. A few months ago, one reader asked why “most of my brides don’t wear a wedding dress?” The reason for this is that Prison Visitation Dress codes often limit what my clients can wear and at certain Units, even a dress isn’t allowed. 

Other Units are more flexible. I always wear a suit and often sandals or easy to remove footwear as I’m screened along with my Client which requires removing my shoes upon entering a Prison. If a bride wants to do a photo shoot in a wedding dress though, she changes clothes AFTER leaving the Unit. 

Trishelle wore jeans and a tee shirt to her Michael Unit Wedding but, changed clothes for her photo shoot. Most of my brides bring a change of clothes and if they bring friends or family, they wait for us while we are “inside a Unit” and then join my Client and I later for photos.

“The waiting areas”  for friends and family members tend to be cafes, thrift shops and occasionally gas stations as Prisons are often in fairly remote areas. 

I don’t ask questions about inmates. Whether it’s a male or female, I don’t judge anyone or their circumstances. 

For those who like me had never heard of “I’m A Killer,” here’s the link to episode 4– I’m A Killer Episode 4 Miguel Martinez. 

Let me add that Mr Martinez was a perfect gentleman to me who even let me borrow his readers since I’m only allowed to bring one pair of glasses into a Unit and I don’t wear bifocals. 

In fact, many inmates share items including readers. My groom told me that there are very few luxuries like reading glasses and was happy to look ke hid in order to read the fine print in my new wedding book that was difficult to see. 

The older I get, the bigger font I need and due to my fear of eye surgery, things aren’t going to get better unless of course I can drum up the courage for corrective surgery to my 50 plus year old eyes. 

Every inmate I’ve ever met when walking into a Texas Prison has been cordial and kind to me. Miguel was also friendly to me and thrilled to be marrying his beautiful bride for the holidays. 

Miguel had a welcoming smile and jovial laugh that immediately put me at ease. Although a number of my readers are concerned about my safety, you shouldn’t be. I’m not in a room alone with an inmate at any time. 

Marrying an inmate can be far more nerve wracking for my clients than it is for me because no one expects to be marrying in a Prison. It’s different than what anyone might have expected. There aren’t any flowers. There are rarely any wedding dresses. There aren’t wedding cakes, music, toasts, drunk guests or chaos either. 

I like the structure and predictability of Prison Weddings. Why? I’ve had 8 years of unpredictable clients and guests that’s why. 

Although I may never be planning a Vow Renewal for Mary or Lester, I will do my best to make their ceremony as special as they are. 

Hopefully, Mary and Lester will live happily ever after regardless of the circumstances that drew them together in the first place. 

I’m at Allred and Parker County Jail this week and Coffield and Estes Units next week and looking forward to meeting my amazing clients and their future spouses… 

Walking Away From The Walls Unit. Prisoner Releases Are A Celebration…

Last Thursday, my previous client, Priscilla stood outside a Huntsville Prison awaiting the release of her husband. A little over two years ago, I had married Joe and Priscilla at Sanders Estes Unit in Venus, Texas.

Six months ago, Priscilla contacted me regarding planning a Vow Renewal October 2019. 

Texas has the largest prison system in America, with more than 150,000 prisoners behind bars. The headquarters of the state’s Department of Criminal Justice is in Huntsville, a small, conservative town that’s home to nine state prisons. 

In the center of Huntsville is the Walls Unit. The oldest prison in Texas, it has gained notoriety in recent years as the location of Texas’ famously-frequent executions. 

But another, less-known function of the Walls Unit is mustering out the Texas system’s prisoners: every day, more than 150 men are processed, paroled and released. Priscilla’s husband was one of those released inmates.

I had three brides that day at Estes Unit and bridal photos following the ceremonies. It was a long day. Priscilla brought her mother with her as a guest which is unusual at a Prison Wedding. 

Guests are almost never allowed. In fact, I’ve only had two occasions where a guest was present at a Prison Wedding and both times were at Estes Unit.Looking back at the day I had officiated the marriage ceremony for Priscilla and Joe, I remember that it was a full day of weddings at Sanders Estes and I was struggling with the pain of a kidney stone that I thought was my appendix. There aren’t any sick days for me officiating Prison Weddings. I had travelled to Estes Unit knowing that I would go to the ER upon my return to Fort Worth. 

What I thought was appendicitis would turn out to be a kidney infection with two stones causing me more pain than I have ever experienced in my life. 

But, I was still managing to hold it together throughout a day of weddings and photo shoots with all of my Estes brides. I have a high tolerance of pain. 

In fact, I even joined Priscilla and her mom for lunch after their photo shoot but, hours later, I was at Harris Hospital. My twin sister, Cindy met me at the ER and took photos for her usual “FB updates.” I had changed clothes after leaving Venus, Texas and for a few moments was without stabbing, jarring pain. 

The pain would come back though. My weekend was spent in and out of the ER. If you’ve never had a kidney stone, be thankful. Two days later, due to my rigid schedule, I flew to California to film This Time Next Year with my twin sister, Cindy. 

We brought my niece and grandniece with us and although I was still in a bit of pain, Cindy and I managed to get through filming and enjoy our trip. 

Priscilla, like many of my other clients became a FB friend and was shocked that a few hours after her wedding I had been in the ER. I’ve followed all of her visits to Joe and we kept up with one another. My TDCJ Clients become friends for life. I share their journey. Being sick or in pain didn’t disrupt my schedule. In fact, nothing does. No matter what is going on in my personal life, I show up ready to go to work. 

Priscilla and Joe had taken marriage classes while he was an inmate. These classes prepare couples for their lives together. Priscilla really enjoyed the classes and the opportunity to share learning with Joe.The Walls Unit isn’t normally a location for celebration but, for families awaiting the release of their loved ones, the environment becomes celebratory with many loved ones taking videos and selfies. 

Releases mark the end of prison visits and expensive phone calls for loved ones. Releases also mark the beginning of life beyond Prison walls.I’m happy that Priscilla found her happily ever after and looking forward to seeing her again in October…. 

Fort Worth To TDCJ Allred Unit To Winstar Casino To Bell Tower Chapel- Two Weddings & A Rehearsal…

Planning my schedule takes a certain amount of flexibility. Why? Because traffic, Client calls and other things factor heavily into my ability to bounce from one location to the next. 

Due to my existing schedule, a wedding ceremony on Christmas Eve wasn’t possible since I’m already booked for a Vow Renewal and Baptism in two different cities Christmas Eve. 

To solve the scheduling problem on Christmas Eve, I checked the distance Allred Unit from Fort Worth then from the Unit to Winstar Casino and, as long as I left Wichita Falls by 2:30-3PM, knew I could arrive at Winstar by 4:30-5PM. 

I was due at a wedding rehearsal at 8PM in Fort Worth so, I double checked the distance from Winstar to Bell Tower. The drive time and traffic play a huge part in my planning process. 

When you spend as much time traveling as I do with Cindy, it’s best to overestimate the commute when a Client is waiting on you. I’m always early because I don’t want to be late. 

My days and hours are far from 9-5 although TDCJ Weddings occur Monday through Friday from 9-5. Why? Travel time is a large consideration. Texas is a large state. 

Secondly, the amount of time spent inside a Unit can be “up in the air.” There isn’t a definite timeline of the Unit locating an inmate or the ceremony starting on time. 

A number of things can cause a delay once arriving at the Unit. Please be patient. 

I normally estimate up to 2 hours once inside a TDCJ Unit although I was once waiting with my Client at Stiles Unit nearly 3 hours for her ceremony. 

Since Stiles Unit was 5+ hours from Fort Worth, the additional time inside the Unit along with my travel home a FULL DAY. 

If your Unit is 3.5 hours one way, I do not schedule other Events on the same day unless of course, they are at the same Unit. 

It’s not unusual for me to Officiate 3 and even up to 8 weddings at a Texas Prison on the same day. The reason for this is travel time and the Unit working with me to “stack my Clients” at the same location.

My schedule is normally stacked whenever possible to accommodate my Clients. Since I’m also on staff at other venues including Bell Tower Chapel, flexibility is a requirement in order to address new Clients as well as existing bookings. 

It’s well known that I have a full staff and only I am TDCJ Approved to Officiate Texas Prison Weddings. My other Officiants and photographers on staff address traditional bookings as well as County Jail Wedding requests. 

The continued issues regarding clothing or attire have become so distressing to my Clients that I’m going to once again go over why it’s best to overdress rather than underdress to your Unit Wedding. 

During the Prison Wedding Planning Process, I often ask what you plan to wear in order to alleviate any issues. 

Let’s go over what you CAN or CANNOT wear to your Texas Prison Wedding as the SAME dress code applies to Prison Weddings as Visitation Guidelines: 

Offender Visitation Dress Code

Visitors are encouraged to dress conservatively.
Sandals, flip-flops, and open-toe shoes may be worn.

Clothing that is tight fitting, revealing, or made with see-through fabrics shall not be allowed.

Sleeveless shirts and dresses are allowed, but must cover the shoulders.

Shorts and skirts no shorter than three inches above the middle of the knee while standing, capri pants, or long pants are allowed.

Length is not restricted for pre-adolescent boys and girls, generally ages 10 and younger.

Clothing with pictures or language that may be considered profane or offensive by current public standards shall not be allowed.

Note: The duty warden shall make the final decision on whether clothing is appropriate.

It’s essential to understand the guidelines of marrying at a Texas Prison because unlike a “wedding on the outside,” the Client isn’t in control. The Prison Unit is. 

Today, I’d like to go over why my Client and I were left waiting for hours at Stiles Unit and why if you are asked to wear a cafeteria smock, it’s upsetting and occasionally embarrassing due to your clothing or attire being deemed “inappropriate.” 

I’ve had several questions regarding the similarities between the Stiles and Estes dresses. “Why did Stiles have to wear a smock and why were her photos taken without it?” Or, “I saw one of your other brides wearing a dress that wasn’t in the code. How did she wear that when I couldn’t to the Unit?” Or, “Your Prison Wedding at Michael had friends in her photos. Why can’t I bring friends to my wedding?” 

First off- bridal or groom photography can and does include guests. Prison Weddings DO NOT allow guests. Guests can wait while we are inside the Unit and join you in bridal photos. You can also wear whatever you want or change clothes for your photo shoot with me. 

Unless a photo is of my Client and I INSIDE A UNIT, clothing, guests, flowers and other items are taken outside the Unit. I offer complimentary photograohy as a courtesy to Clients and their friends or family. I also bring a wide array of photo booth items as well as bouquets, boutenierres and other items to pull photo shoots together. 

If Clients wish to bring friends or family or additional items or even a change of clothes to photo shoots, I also encourage them to do so. 

The Stiles dress was covered walking to the visitation area with a cafeteria smock. Only once inside was my Bride allowed to remove the smock. 

In her wedding photos, you can see she had been crying. Nothing is more upsetting to my Clients than being handed a cafeteria smock to wear walking into the Unit. 

It’s deeply disturbing and upsetting for my clients who wanted to look beautiful and certainly didn’t anticipate being to be required to wear a cafeteria smock to overdress rather than underdress.

Because of this occurring more than once, we will once again revisit Prison Wedding attire. I will always be wearing a suit. I wear flats or sandals based on the season or weather. I wear easy to remove shoes intentionally as our feet and hands will be screened. 

I can assist you in taking off your shoes prior to screening in. I cannot assist you in putting your shoes back on once we are screened. There may or may not be an area for you to sit and put your shoes back on. Please be aware of this. Putting shoes back on while standing on one foot is tricky. You may be forced to lean against a wall if there isn’t a bench or chair. 

The Estes bride borrowed one of my jackets and was able to marry in her dress covered by my jacket. First, we will look at her Unit photo in my suit jacket.Now, let’s look at her bridal photos taken by me at Botanic Garden. My Bride had arrived in Fort Worth at the Greyhound bus station. I had picked her up and drove her to my home to change clothes. 

Upon seeing her dress, I suggested bringing one of my jackets as I wearily realized the Unit (most likely) wouldn’t allow her dress. Below is a photo of the dress that is low cut and also above the knee. 

This dress on its own would never have been deemed appropriate. Rather than upset my Client, I loaned her clothes to “cover up.” My Stiles Unit bride arrived in a white form fitting dress. Although it was full length, the bodice was low cut and the dress was deemed “too sheer.” 

I had asked if she could remove the smock for her wedding photos and the Warden allowed this only once inside a private area. Look at her eyes. 

Walking all the way into the Unit wearing a cafeteria smock, my heart broke at what was supposed to be a joyous day for her turning into a “walk of shame” in that smock. Leaving the Unit, I had found a park for her bridal photos. The smock left behind at Stiles and the stress behind her, my Bride was relieved and once again, happy. 

Bridal photos give my Clients an opportunity to have fun and leave the stress and occasionally, the embarrassment of wearing a smock behind them. You can wear whatever you want to your bridal or groom photo shoot. 

You CANNOT wear whatever you want to your Prison Wedding. I don’t make the rules. TDCJ does and, it’s at THEIR discretion if your attire is appropriate. Please be aware of this. It’s essential to your wedding being pleasant and worry free. My Stiles bride was also busty and the clingy fabric of her form fitting dress which was also sheer was the main issue with the Warden. Although she was wearing a slip from the waist down, had she been wearing a cami or tank under the dress to cover cleavage, it still might have been too revealing based on the tight fit. 

In this type of situation, wearing a jacket, shawl, or even a sweater over the top part of the dress might have alleviated the need to wear a smock walking into the Unit. Michael Unit does not allow dresses. My Michael Unit Brides wear jeans. Trishelle wore jeans to her wedding and then changed afterwards before joining her friends in her photo shoot. I’m adding the Unit photo below. Leaving the Unit, Trishelle and I drove to Tennessee Colony store for her to change clothes and meet up with her mother, sister and best friends.If the offender is behind glass, you cannot touch or hold hands. At Ferguson Unit, my Bride wore a dress but, the dress covered her shoulders. We had NO issues regarding cleavage because while standing, no cleavage was visible. 

Your skirt or dress length should be at your knees or within one inch. It’s “tricky.” Once the wedding ceremony was finished, my beautiful bride and I found an area near the Unit for her bridal photos. Photos cannot be taken on TDCJ Property. 

At Luther Unit, my bride wore a dress that covered her shoulders and hit at the knee. There weren’t any issues because she strictly adhered to the TDCJ visitation dress code. I’m usually wearing ankle length or floor length slacks. I’m always wearing a jacket and occasionally, a scarf. I’m busty and if any cleavage is showing, I cover it up with a scarf as I did at Hodge Unit. Last February, my beautiful bride had an amazing wedding dress but, had to wear a coat over it. After leaving Allred Unit, we found an area for fun photos in her wedding dress.Although she had a jacket that matched the wedding dress, the dress was sleeveless. Texas Department Of Criminal Justice dress code REQUIRES the shoulders be covered during visitation. Prison Wedding ceremonies follow stringent guidelines. No spaghetti straps or strapless dresses are allowed. Please be aware of this.

Yesterday, at TDCJ Allred Unit, my Bride had previously sent me a photo of the dress she planned to wear. I’m attaching it for your review. The model has cleavage showing but, the dress could be pinned. 

The length of the dress appeared within the guidelines but, the slit in the front came up a little higher on my Client.

Brandy looked beautiful coming downstairs and I quickly eyed her dress. There wasn’t any cleavage showing and the back of the dress hit below her knees. Because of this, I believed we were fine. But, the Unit has the final call on attire. Not I or my Client. 

Brandy and her best friend had as much fun at their hotel photo shoot as I did. We were planning a great day filled with fun and promise but, once at the Unit, things would change.I had dropped Brandy’s friend to shop while we headed on to Allred Unit. Because the wedding was scheduled for 1PM, we arrived at 12:30PM and checked in with Chaplain Lawler. 

Brandy and her beau had both written their vows. My couple had put a lot of thought into their ceremony but, within minutes, a day that Brandy had looked forward to would be altered.

The assistant Warden strongly advised us both that Brandy’s dress was “unacceptable.” Because of this, I ran to my SUV to grab a scarf and pins to cover the bottom portion of her dress. 

Moments later, the assistant Warden told Brandy that she couldn’t marry in the dress at all. The only option was to wear the smock. Nothing causes me more stress than to see a Client crying because they must wear a smock to their ceremony. 

Because of this, I’m ONCE AGAIN warning my Clients that the possibility of having to wear a smock exists and if the dress length is deemed too short, warning you of the stress of wearing a smock to your ceremony will bring.

It’s better to err on the side of caution regarding clothing or, to bring a change of clothes to your Unit Wedding. Brandy had a change of clothes but, they were in her car back at the hotel. I wish we had brought them with us in my SUV but, hindsight is 20/20. 

I want your wedding to be seamless and worry free. I want your experience to be pleasant and I care about you and your feelings. 

Having a Client walking in with me upset about what they are wearing is so sad to me that I’m writing this blog in the hopes of preventing a similar circumstance happening to someone else…

Texas Prison Weddings And Love After Lock Up- TDCJ Allred To TDCJ Hughes Unit…

Following The Groom or Bride- 

No one was more surprised than I was to hear an inmate was being transferred on his wedding day at TDCJ Allred Unit yesterday. 

Unit transfers happen. Don’t get discouraged. It’s a process but, timelines are changed. 

If you have been assigned a date, the date will also be changed. Stay calm, you are going to get married. Transfers like Lock Downs are simply a bump in the road. 

My bride had sent me an email and a text to alert me to the wedding being cancelled due to the transfer at 10PM. Please let me know ASAP if there are any changes to your assigned date and time. 

Due to the transfer, we will now wait for more information and a reschedule at the new Unit. I have 9 brides waiting on dates at Allred currently. Your wedding may be stacked at Allred and other Units as Chaplains and Wardens stack my weddings as a courtesy. I perform up to 10 weddings at the same Unit on the same day.

Transfer After Scheduled Unit Wedding Information- 

First, once the inmate is moved, advise me of the Unit. Secondly, the inmate must go to the Law Library and check to see if the I60 paperwork was transferred. If it wasn’t, have the inmate file a new I60 at the new Unit. This is a 7-21 day process. Be calm. Don’t continue calling the Unit. 

Travel Fees- 

Changes to the location of a Unit after the initial agreement are involved. Based on distance, the new Unit may be closer to Fort Worth or further away. If the Unit is further away, a calculation of mileage will be added to the initial agreement and Unit. 

Emergency Officiant Fees- 

If you have hired another TDCJ Officiant and they don’t honor your end of the agreement, this is a problem between you and the original Officiant. I.E. you will need to get your money back and THEN contact me. Short notice or emergency Officiant Fees are significantly higher because the Client wasn’t factored into my scheduling. 

Contacting me with less than one weeks notice regarding a Prison or Jail Wedding doesn’t always “work” with schedule. If however, I’m available, it’s because I’ve scheduled the date in question off since I work seven days a week. Dropping everything to run to a Unit literally is a “juggling act” for me. 

You have paid someone else and they still have your money- 

Although this is deeply concerning and sad to me, I cannot work without compensation. I need you to get your money back. Paying someone else doesn’t cover my gas or expenses. 

The continuing saga of con artists taking money for a service they fail to provide is actually a criminal act. It’s fraud.

As a consumer, you have rights and, I must insist you use them to obtain a refund. It’s not up to me to get your money back- it’s up to you. 

Because this an ongoing issue with frantic people contacting me about the “other Officiant” flaking out, I’m going to tell you how to get your money back although this isn’t legal advice. 

If you’ve paid someone for a service they fail to provide, you can either escalate a claim on Paypal, send a demand letter for a refund via certified mail or file a small claims suit. 

Personally, I would do all three but, I don’t allow others to take advantage of me and suggest you fight back as well. 

It’s come to my attention that many of the clients who had to hire me AFTER hiring someone else were being taken advantage of by a person who is IN NO WAY AFFILIATED WITH ME and also failed to honor their obligations and Officiate the Prison Wedding. 

Someone calling me crying because they had paid someone else and had no idea how to get their money back in order to hire me has happened 22 times in the past year. Buyers Beware. There’s a con game going on out there and I’m going to tell you how these despicable liars play it.

It starts by “hooking” that’s right I said hooking the prospect or “mark” with a very low bid. The quote is so unbelievable that the prospect quickly goes for it and it’s always via Paypal. 

The con artist knows if they send something with tracking to the prospect, Paypal won’t issue a refund. BE AWARE OF HOW THIS WORKS. 

Let’s go over this Snake Oil Scheme: The other person tells you to take a Two Together In Texas class. They send you the booklets but don’t give you the certificate. The certificate is essential. You also paid an inflated cost for a course that costs $29 per Couple online. 

They NOW have a tracking number. Do not fall for this bait and switch game because the person low balling you with a price never planned on following through. It’s a game. A sick game by sick people taking advantage of others and fleecing them. 

File a lawsuit. Escalate a claim but, don’t fall into the “I sent her or he this or that and have tracking information” to Paypal game. I know two Officiants who have been doing this for over a year. Go on Prison forums and you will too. Other people talk about how “so and so” took my money but wouldn’t do my wedding so, I found Wendy.  I have never rescheduled anything. I will never let you down. My Clients love me because I exceed their expectations. 

What you paid the scammer aka “other Officiant” for was to marry you in a Texas Prison which obviously they didn’t do or you wouldn’t be contacting me. Fight back and get your money. 

NEVER take a Two Together Class with someone selling it. Go straight to Two Together and buy the course for $29. It is the best advice I can give you. 

Take the Two Together In Texas certificate with you to buy the Marriage License. You will also need your ID, the notarized ID and Absentee Affidavit of the inmate. 

The TTIT certificate will waive the 3 day waiting period and discount the cost of the Marriage License by $60. 

It’s very sad to me that the people who have been doing this are still doing it. I strongly encourage you to file a complaint with the Courts in Huntsville. Also, keep all texts and emails from anyone who has taken money from you and failed to provide a service. It’s proof of what you paid for and more importantly, what you didn’t get.

Inmate is CLM & It Isn’t To You- 

This CLM (Common Law Marriage) will prevent you from marrying an inmate if the person listed as being Informally Married to the inmate isn’t you. You cannot marry a Texas inmate who is already listed as married. What to do? Have the inmate get a divorce or file a Corrected Affidavit. ANY DOCUMENT REQUIRING a notary seal is a legal document. For everyone telling me “I just signed that so we can have contact visits” be AWARE that TDCJ views those documents as Common Law Marriages. 

Outside the Prison, these documents aren’t filed with the clerk and are therefore, not legally binding. Inside the Prison, they will prevent permission to marry from ever being granted to anyone other than the party named on the Affidavit I.E. the “other woman” or “other man.” 

If you didn’t realize that the document you were signing wasn’t legal, you can file a Correctional Affidavit voiding or amending the initial document. Often, this is far easier than a divorce for an inmate. 

Let’s go over what an Informal Marriage Affidavit actually is— Parties wishing to be recognized as married but, not wishing to have a formal marriage ceremony, file it at the Clerks Office. 

To dissolve an Informal OR Formal Marriage FILED at the clerks office, a DIVORCE is MANDATORY. 

In a Prison, a CLM status lists the inmate as “married.” Be aware of this. It’s a REAL problem if you are attempting to marry an inmate. 

Ask questions and get answers early in your Prison Wedding Planning Process. 

This issue has come up so many times that I must address it. You will not get permission to marry under these circumstances. Only the inmate can file a Correctional Affidavit. The law library is the best place to research this matter.

Refunds, Cancellations, Tardiness– 

I do not offer refunds. My reason for this is that when you booked with me, I kept slots open in my schedule to accommodate your needs.  It can take 2-3 weeks and more for your wedding to be scheduled. Because of this and the fact that Prison Weddings take place on weekdays, I limit new Clients to 12 per month. 

If you are booking mid month, you are moved to the following month. I don’t overbook. This is intentional on my part which is why short notice or emergency bookings are not always possible. Booked Clients are my highest priority. 

If I’ve talked to you or emailed you- you ARE NOT A CLIENT. Until a deposit is paid and a contract is signed and countersigned, I do not allow anyone to “use my name and credentials” to obtain a date for a TDCJ Wedding. I hate surprises and Wardens now verify you are a Client prior to issuing and approving a wedding date. 

Pulling my name off the internet of even speaking to me and using my name without my consent is a bad idea. I’m not going to drive 2-10 hours to a wedding that wasn’t on my books and therefore, not my responsibility.

If you are late or inappropriately dressed for your Texas Prison Wedding, the Warden can cancel it. If I’ve traveled to the Unit and your wedding is cancelled, you will forfeit your payment due to non compliance and my contact. 

If you are drunk or under the influence of anything, you have voided the terms of our agreement and your wedding will be cancelled. We are going into a Prison. Your conduct reflects on me. As my Client, I expect you to be courteous and appropriate. I cannot stress this enough. No matter what happens, I need you to realize that if we are waiting 1-3 hours, we will wait patiently. We will not complain or cause a scene. We will sit quietly and at some point, begin your ceremony. I need you to be professional and courteous. It will make the process far more pleasant. 

What you can bring to your Prison Wedding- 

You MUST have your Marriage License. You MUST have your ID. You can bring your car keys and hand written vows as well as quarters for Unit Photos ($3 each). You cannot bring anything other than these items with you to a Unit. No paper money, no cell phones, no cameras, no rings, nothing other than the above items is authorized for a Prison Wedding. 

Visit times after the ceremony- 

Every Unit is different, some Units allow visits for up to 15-20 minutes following the ceremony while others do not. Please do not argue this point with guards. They have been given an assignment and they have been given a timeline. At all costs, we remain pleasant and courteous. 

You are wearing revealing clothing- 

If your clothing is deemed “risqué” you will either be given something to wear and over up or your wedding will be cancelled by the Warden. This issue continues to come up. If you are wearing white, wear something under it. Do not wear jeans with holes, tank tops, mini skirts or other clothing that is in violation of the dress code. I know it’s your wedding day but, we aren’t making the rules. 

Complimentary photos after the wedding- 

I offer complimentary photos for Clients as a courtesy. I bring bouquets, bubbles, props, traveling photo booth items and more to bring fun to your bridal or groom photography as a courtesy. I want you to have fun and celebrate your marriage. 

Many of my clients find their twenty minute photo shoot to be the best part of their day. If you have photos or other items you’d like to bring, I encourage you to. Guests aren’t allowed at Unit Weddings but, they can wait and join you in your photo shoot. 

Other questions, comments or concerns- 

I know you are nervous. I know you didn’t plan to marry in a Prison. You will at no point be alone. I will be with you. I am comfortable in a Prison and not nervous. If you have questions about anything not discussed in this blog, contact me. 

If you have paid someone and and feel there is an issue please, please, get a refund. No one can change an I60 Officiant on an existing form. A new I60 and Officiant must be filed. I cannot stress this enough, hire someone you trust. Hire someone who makes you an your Dream Event a priority.

I look forward to meeting you soon at your Texas Prison Wedding…

Tire Trouble, Tiaras, Torres Unit & Trying To Stay Fit

This morning, my twin sister called me about gaining weight over the holidays. Sadly, she wasn’t alone. We have both put on a few pounds after working so hard to lose weight in our fifties a little over a year ago.

From Halloween to Christmas, watching our weight is an ongoing challenge.

Twinning through the Holidays includes work, working out, and laughing at my sisters saucy observations. “You can’t cherry pick a withered branch from a barren tree.” You can’t expect results without effort.

While Cindy’s daughter, Leigh Ann continues to lose weight after her Gastric Bypass, Cindy and I have fought and fought midlife weight gain since turning 50 four years ago. Leigh Ann’s weight is falling off.

I had planned to go to the gym yesterday but, instead got caught up with a previous client who wanted a Winter Wonderland Photo Shoot in December.

Somewhat confused, I reiterated that Leigh Ann is running a Christmas Mini Shoot special but, was unaware of an option regarding Winter Wonderland.

Sending Leigh Ann a text, I decided to research Winter Wonderland shoots that mostly featured snow.

Since snow is rare in Texas and certainly not “scheduled,” I replied to the text trying to get more information instead.

The client specifically “didn’t want” Christmas themed photos. Okay. It was in my court to find out what exactly she did want and decipher whether or not it was something we offered.

Several texts later, it became apparent that snow wasn’t necessary but fun winter photos were.

Communication is key with every client. If I don’t understand what they want, it’s far harder for me to decide whether a booking will work or not.

I went through winter photos the past eight years to find suitable similar pictures to text the client. From a mother/daughter photo shoot for Mothers Day with coordinating tiaras that we re shot at the wedding with the daughter a few years older to the little boy holding one of my lanterns from our Texas Twins Treasures Inventory, I came up with a few cute photo ideas and locations thinking the situation had been solved with my creative input. But, I jumped the gun.

The client wanted to know if we could photoshop a winter background onto the photos? Well, it’s something we don’t offer. We edit photos and since this client had actually won a contest with my niece that was specifically for family photos emailed to the client and free, these add on options were somewhat surprising to Leigh Ann.

No good deed goes unpunished. My saucy sister “came up with” one of her Cindyism Quotes based on a similar situation years ago. “Don’t ask me for an apple and expect me to bake you a pie.”

Limiting or reigning in what is wanted or expected regarding a free service is not only necessary but, also essential. Try calling someone else for a service or item you didn’t pay for and see how far you get.

What was the situation? I had a bride who needed a wedding dress. Since I often buy them to have on hand to loan Pawning Planners Clients, I took the wedding dress to her.

A few days later, she called me to pick it up and have it altered. I advised her that I don’t sew or alter clothing that I’m loaning to someone. Sure, I was stunned. 

But, I’m not spending money to alter an item that I PAID FOR and LOANED YOU or GIFTED YOU as a courtesy.

Last year, yet another incident had me rattled with a client who wanted to borrow my flowers BUT, wanted them in her colors.  

After explaining to “the Diva” that loaned floral inventory “is what it is,” she began texting me photos of what she wanted. 

I began texting her what it would cost and that I would require a deposit. This ended the “looking a gift horse in the mouth situation.”

I created an inventory to loan to clients at MY OWN EXPENSE. If you don’t want to borrow my inventory, GO BUY YOUR OWN. 

“if COMMON sense was COUNTED in COINS, some PEOPLE got SHORTCHANGED, without a PENNY in their POCKETS” God bless us all.

A few years ago, another bride had found that I sell christening gowns at Texas Twins Treasures and wanted to add a Baptism for her child at her wedding.

Looking back, I should’ve SOLD her the christening gown but, my generosity AGAIN bit me in the butt when I paid priority shipping and mailed her the gown at no cost.

A few days later, rather than thanking me, the bride wanted me to PAY to have a “free to her” christening gown altered. I cannot make this shit up! Seriously. I have met far too many Demanding Divas that didn’t wanted everything BUT didn’t want to pay for it. 

Enlightening and educating these Princesses became such a hassle that I now simply “cut em loose early” and let someone else deal with their drama. You can’t pay me enough to deal with an unreasonable person or client.

There have been so many times that I’ve had to let someone know that I’m not a Fairy Godmother or seamstress that it would stun you. The bride was advised to find someone who sews or pay for alterations.

If I’m GIVING you something- the last thing you should be doing is asking for more, more, more. After all, no one GAVE it to me. I bartered it or bought it. 

Throughout my life on more than one occasion, being the person I’ve never met often has others believing that I’m either stupid or a pushover. I’m neither.

I decided to “meet in the middle” regarding the December photo shoot and visit my storage room for winter props. Sending a few more photos and ideas, I also went on eBay to buy tiaras and Winter Wonderland themed items assuming that we could incorporate them into our holiday photo shoot bookings through January.

I knew my TDCJ Prison Brides would love tiaras at their photo shoots and saw the investment paying off in the long run. 

After all, every year, I add new bouquets, props and other items to my existing inventory to replace and refresh items we use in our traveling photo booth so, I felt that “bending rather than breaking” to accommodate the complimentary photo shoot would work.

I’m not a photographer but, I’ve been a commercial actress and print model as well as actress for over thirty years and know quite a bit about poses and backgrounds.

What I didn’t know about photoshop, my niece, Leigh Ann did. Apparently, it’s not only time consuming but also, rather expensive.

Let’s look at what traditional price points are for photography first and then go into why editing and/or prints incur addition fees:

How Much Do Photographers Charge?

Hobbyist: Free or (under $100).

Amateur: $25 – $75 per hour.

Student: $50-100 per hour / $25-100 per image.

Semi-Pro: $50–$150 per hour / $25-125 per image.

Professional: $75-$250 per hour / $75-$250 per image.

Top Professional: $200-$500+ per hour / $250-$1,500 per image.

Leigh Ann is a professional photographer and seasoned. The package she offered in her giveaway was for 5-7 photos emailed to the client and didn’t involve prints. It also didn’t involve photoshop or various other background options. Leigh Ann needs to be more specific on her target ads and giveaways.

Since I was already “caught in the middle,” by responding to the client, I had also suggested using the Stockyard area for photos approximately 45 minutes from Leigh Ann who had planned to use Holland Lake Park three minutes from her home.

My niece often creates Mini Session Specials. I had a talk with her about specifics after a recent booking a few months ago.

What? Why? Well, the client booked Leigh Ann at $75 for one hour. The client showed up twenty minutes late. This particular client was also pretty demanding.

The client didn’t pay $25 for a photo disc but, as a courtesy, Leigh Ann provided one anyway. The client then wanted Leigh Ann to email ALL photos to her after editing. The client was either too lazy or too cheap to go print photos from the disc.

The client was a DIVA. Showing up late to her photo shoot? Check. Asking for more than she paid for? Check. Not bothering to promote Leigh Ann for going above and beyond? Check.

I’m not going to name any names here but…if you are late, there’s a late fee in all of my contracts. The reason for this is that after years of waiting on clients and running to my next event, I decided that a contract and deposit were essential to getting paid.

For years, getting paid because I gave clients the option to “settle their balance” on the day of the event made my job far more difficult. I have changed things up. 

I now REQUIRE payment in FULL one week prior to the event date. Trying to get paid on the day of an event is a thing of the past for me.

If you are bartering through The Pawning Planners, the trade and contract take place 30 days prior to the event.

I suggested Leigh Ann prepare a contract that specifically details what clients can expect and what she expects of them. Contracts eliminate misconceptions.

I’m now preparing a contract for her to use for photography bookings from this point forward as well as giving her tips on travel fees and deposits.

March- June and September- January are our busiest months. Why? Texas weather. 

December is a very busy month for my entire staff and the client who had won the giveaway waited months after Mothers Day to book her “free session.”

I also advised Leigh Ann to put a time limit on giveaways from now on to prevent unexpected bookings during a busy window. 

I.E. If you have won a giveaway with Leigh Ann, you have two weeks to book or forfeit the session. Period. A second place winner will be drawn to replace the first place winner. 

Let’s get back to that “apple” and the tardy party client. She posted photos on FB but, failed to promote Leigh Ann after being late to her photo shoot and forcing Leigh Ann to email edited photos which took over an hour. No good deed goes unpunished. Leigh Ann was lit about this.

I advised Leigh Ann to start adding a logo to her photos if the client was demanding emailed photos in order to promote herself.

In order to limit the work and time involved that a few clients or divas don’t realize photography entails, Leigh Ann now puts a price on it.

My new additions to Texas Twins Treasures for impromptu photo shoots with clients from Texas Prison Weddings With Wendy Wortham are sure to provide some fun and memorable photos. I love the tiara idea for props!I created Texas Twins Events years ago to help people who couldn’t afford traditional vendors. My twin was my first team member. 

Did I expect four generations of my family to join us? No. But, we’ve expanded and rebranded over and over again. Why? We go above and beyond. Our clients are like family to us.

Cindy’s Quote for going above and beyond? “People are like yeast in bread- they rise to every opportunity!”

We became the people we had never met. By doing things for our clients that no other vendor would do, clients loved our hilarious personalities and props. Cindy has never met a stranger.

I’m also adding new bling bouquets, furs, and holiday decor. We are currently sold out of the emerald and ruby bling bouquets and won’t be restocking bling bouquets for sale at Texas Twins Treasures until February.

If you are interested in custom bling bouquets, please allow 6-8 weeks off season and 8-10 weeks in season for delivery. A deposit is required on any custom order.

Our traditional in stock items are either solid or multi color silk roses with brooch details.

From the grey multi to the pink multi or the sold red, purple, or other colors, it should be noted that full brooch bouquets are heavy. Be aware of this.

A full brooch bouquet can weigh 2-4 lbs while a rosette brooch bouquet weighs 1-2 lbs. 

My rear tire was flat for some reason and I never made it to the gym yesterday but, I did text my son who I haven’t heard from since the Thanksgiving ruckus over my niece, Stephaney joining us. I juggle work and family on an everyday basis.

I also scheduled the winter wonderland photo shoot for December and realized that giving Leigh Ann advice regarding clients needs, wants and the reality or cost of what they are wanting is a necessary conversation.

To resolve the photoshopping issue, I suggested the client using our photos and having them photoshopped elsewhere. This way everyone is happy and there isn’t any confusion in a few weeks regarding add-ons.

If one of my clients changes the contract- I now write a new one. My reasons for this are that add-on items aren’t free.

I offer a wide variety of complimentary items that no one else does and because of this, limit add on items for purchase but not for free.

A few years ago, I was hired to Officiate a wedding. This takes 1-2 hours on location and if there’s a rehearsal, 3. Months into the planning process, the bride added 2 photographers. I gave her the cost and added that printed photos incurred an additional fee. I never asked for a deposit because it was agreed we would be paid on the day of the event.

One week prior to the event, the mother of the bride wanted my Team on location for set up making the total amount of time at this event 8 hours. This was one of the biggest business mistakes I’ve ever made. First, I didn’t require a contract and deposit. Second, adding on additional staff and additional time on site dramatically increased the cost. My staff and I were never paid. I sued the client and won. Theft Of Services whether the original contract was in writing or oral, if you can prove you privided services and didn’t get paid, sue them. I do. 

But, I can also write up a lawsuit on a paper napkin. I’m more than a little “familiar” with court. In fact, I have handled myself Pro Se in Federal Court (suing an employer who fired me while on medical leave and then moved my original lawsuit to Federal Court). Assuming that I would never be able to amend my original petition was a mistake on their part and yes, I won for unlawful termination while under a medical absence. I don’t suffer fools lightly. This Kitty has Claws. I’m nice but I’m far from a pushover. If you steal from me, you will wish you hadn’t. 

There is a good reason I require a contract. Over and over again, I’ve trusted people to do the right thing and from bounced checks to no payment at all or broken promises, I’ve learned that as a business, you cannot pay your bills on broken promises.

Teaching my son, daughter in law, nieces and grandnieces this ahead of time will spare them the experiences that I’ve encountered.

I cannot stress the importance of a contract enough to anyone booking a vendor or the vendor themselves. If you can’t write your own contract, hire an attorney but, get a contract.

Getting my tires checked this morning while waiting at Discount Tires, it should be noted that all of my blogs are written from my iPhone in venue or prison parking lots or even when waiting on clients. Blogging is squeezed into my schedule and a diary of sorts for me.

While I’m dreading trying to get my entire family together for Christmas and hoping that this year they will attempt to get along with each other, my shopping list is being worked into my schedule as most things are.

Getting back to the gym will also be carefully scheduled in today as I leave my SUV and hop into Cindy’s SUV for a lift to Tarrant County Jail to meet my three clients this afternoon.

Jail Weddings are traditionally handled by my son or my niece as my father is currently in Waco and unavailable. 

However, my son is working for his father today and Leigh Ann is editing photos. Jail Weddings are remarkably different from Prison Weddings for a number of reasons. 

First, you are not required to be Approved by Texas Department Of Criminal Justice. 

Secondly, there are no photos available for purchase. Third, many inmates are waiting to be transported to a Texas Prison and want their status to be married going in.

State Jails ARE PRISONS. Because of this, only a TDCJ Approved Officiant (me) can Officiate the ceremony inside a Texas Prison.

My schedule at Texas Prisons is booked through January. Normally, I book only a month out at a time. However, numerous Lock Downs have moved my October and November TDCJ Clients to December and January.

Texas Prison Weddings take place Monday through Friday from 8AM-5PM. The reason for this is that most Unit Weddings take place in the visitation area which is in use on weekends.

If you are a “traditional booking,” your event is either on the weekend or evening which is how I successfully expanded my bookings to include TDCJ Weddings. The “fit” with my schedule was perfect.

Death Row Weddings do not take place in the visitation area. Please be aware of this. There is no contact at a Death Row Wedding.

Traditionally, Prison Weddings allow holding hands, appropriate kissing and hugs. Death Row Wedding Ceremonies do not allow contact.

Cindy and I look forward to meeting our prospective Pawning Planners Clients this week and appraising your items. We are also traveling to several units and mailing out Texas Twins Treasures sales items.

Pawning Planners Apparel featuring Cindy Daniel’s Cindyism Quotes are on a 7-10 day ship time. If you need another language, 14-21 days. We are thrilled with sales from Pawning Planners Apparel and appreciate your patronage. 

To choose your favorite Redneck Reality Quote, google #Cindyism or Pawning Planners Apparel. We are now out of stock on TDCJ Watch Caps and will restock in January. The caps are still available as are hoodies, light jackets and long sleeve tees.

I order these from a third party and don’t produce TDCJ items for sale in our inventory. Because of this, sizes and inventory vary.  If you have a particular size needed, please contact us and we will try to work with our suppliers to restock in plus sizes. We do not sell patches. Texas Prison Museum has a variety of patches available for purchase.
I never actually thought that TDCJ items would be best sellers. In fact, I was wearing a hat that had been given to me in Tennessee Colony when someone asked if they could buy it. Our TDCJ Inventory varies so please check back frequently for new items.

Cindy and I are looking forward to getting back on track and fit in our fifties although the gym isn’t exactly our favorite location.

Nipping this holiday weight gain in the bud early will keep us from going back to Boot Camp. Cindy and I aren’t afraid of hard work and elbow grease. We just don’t love the gym. It’s in and out for us and we clock it.

Cindy and I are also going to the photo shoot with Leigh Ann and packing our suvs with winter props to hopefully give the client what she wants while keeping the photo shoot fun.

I started the prop trend years ago because 1. I’m an experienced floral designer and 2. Pawning Planners Clients cannot afford to provide their own floral designs.

Did I expect that my inventory would grow over the years to include furniture, signs, seasonal items and more? No. But, our clients love photo booth items and we love to add new items.

Cindy and I never planned on selling brooch bouquets either but, one of our bouquets was such a hit that the orders started rolling in.

My twin and I look forward to seeing all of our new and previous clients on location in the coming months and hopefully my tire issue is minor but, it’s better to find out while in Fort Worth than in the boondocks headed to a Texas Prison…