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The Sticky CLM Issue That Can & Will Stop Your Prison Wedding Planning Process…

Last night while texting back to a client I was asked “can a Warden deny the I60?” The answer is yes. But, there must be a valid reason for a Denial. Wardens don’t simply “just say no.”

Let’s go over the primary reason for a Denial. The old CLM issue that most inmates claim “they forgot about.” TDCJ didn’t forget. In fact, whether the inmate went into the system claiming a CLM Status off the bat or years later, filed a CLM Affidavit in order to obtain contact visits, inmate records forwarded this information to the Courts in Huntsville. 

Meaning… based on the CLM Affidavit, the inmate was granted contact visits. Let me clarify for my spies and trolls that a contact visit IS NOT a conjugal visit. A contact visit means there is no glass separating the inmate from the other person. Texas does not allow conjugal visits. 

Last nights client had a fairly unique situation that I’ve yet to encounter and because it’s difficult to surprise me, we will dive in to why TDCJ doesn’t throw away a CLM status EVEN when the inmate is no longer incarcerated. She had filed a CLM Affidavit with another inmate years ago. Because the other inmate had been released, she also assumed that her current fiancées I60 would be Approved if he wasn’t listed as CLM to someone other than her. Yes, this is a Two Fer. The inmate she’s trying to marry is also listed as CLM to someone other than her. Stay tuned. 

In order to abolish the CLM status, a Dissolution Agreement must be notarized and forwarded to inmate records from the law library by the currently incarcerated inmate. On the outside, a Dissolution Agreement must be notarized and sent to Huntsville to quash the record listing the other party as being CLM or Common Law Married to an inmate although the inmate is no longer in the system. 

Before everyone else reading this who happens to have encountered the same problem starts contacting me to send them my Dissolution Agreement, I’m not in the business of solving strangers problems. I provide Dissolution Agreements to MY CLIENTS as a courtesy. 

Certain Units May also require a Texas Marriage or Divorce Verification Sheet. How do you get one? Here’s the link– Texas Vital Statistics Marriage And Divorce Verification.

Rather than argue with strangers regarding the legality of a CLM Affidavit “outside of the system,” I will use this opportunity to educate and enlighten a few people that assume or believe that Common Law Marriage in Texas is “easy to prove.” It isn’t. The Informal Marriage Affidavit exists BECAUSE it isn’t easy to prove Common Law Marriage. 

For all of the numskulls out there contacting me to tell me “you have to get a divorce if you are CLM,” I’ve got a news flash for you, if a legal marriage cannot be proven, a divorce cannot be filed. The REQUIREMENT of an Informal Marriage in Texas is that BOTH Parties are PRESENT to file an Informal Marriage Affidavit. If one person is in prison, obviously they aren’t filing a CLM Affidavit in person.

DECLARATION AND REGISTRATION OF AN INFORMAL MARRIAGE (COMMON LAW)

An informal marriage license can be obtained and recorded by a couple who agree to be married, and after the agreement, they lived together in this state as a couple and represented to others that they were married.

Both parties must be present. An absentee affidavit cannot be used for an informal marriage license.

A person under 18 years of age may not obtain an informal marriage license.

A person may not obtain an informal marriage license if presently married to someone else.

The fee is $36 cash, Visa, Mastercard, American Express or Discover. 

Now… for everyone wondering how in the heck Informal Marriage Affidavits wound up in Texas Prisons, the widespread misuse of these Affidavits were meant to validate or at the very least verify that the inmate had a relationship other than friendship with the other party. No one likes the glass. No one likes the phones that rarely work and inmates wanted contact visits. In fact, most inmates described this document as a “piece of paper” to the person they wanted to sign it. 

Most of my clients have no idea that the inmate ever filed a CLM with someone other than themselves UNTIL they try going through the Prison Wedding Planning Process. Why? Because the I60 is DENIED based on the inmates status OR the client had signed a CLM Affidavit with another inmate in order to obtain contact visits and didn’t tell the inmate they are attempting to marry because they never assumed that it would come up. 

The CLM Sucker Punch… CLM Affidavits don’t go away on their own. If you have EVER filed a CLM Affidavit, TDCJ has kept it on file. Rather than screaming and crying, calm down. Call me. We will work through undoing the CLM Status. 

For everyone else contacting me to tell me “we are legally married. It’s easy to prove Common Law Marriage in Texas,” I hope you never need to test your theory in probate court. My father lived with Gretta for six years. My father and Gretta filed joint tax returns, shared checking accounts and lived as husband and wife but THEY NEVER FILED AN INFORMAL MARRIAGE AFFIDAVIT TOGETHER. Because they hadn’t, even with a will, my father never won or much less proved Common Law Marriage. 

These Affidavits when filed together by both parties in the clerks office ARE LEGALLY BINDING AND REQUIRE A DIVORCE BOTH IN AND OUTSIDE OF TEXAS. 

The primary difference between Informal and Formal Marriage in Texas is that a Formal Marriage REQUIRES AN OFFICIANT AND CEREMONY. An Informal Marriage Affidavit “skips” the ceremony AND Officiant requirements.

Regarding Married versus Common Law Married Status within TDCJ. These are two different things. Outside of TDCJ, there are two types of marriage licenses. One is an Informal Marriage Affidavit. This must be be filed at the clerks office by both parties to be a legally binding marriage. The main variation of the Informal Marriage License versus the Formal Marriage License is that the cost is less, there is no Officiant and there is no ceremony. 
A Formal Marriage requires a Formal Marriage License, Officiant and both parties present as well as a wedding ceremony taking place. 
The widespread misuse of the Informal Marriage Affidavit fo obtain contact visits within TDCJ is due in part to the ease of which inmates can file this document. 
Many of my clients have no idea a CLM status even exists UNTIL they attempt to marry an inmate and are denied due to a pre existing CLM status with someone other than themselves. Undoing a CLM status is and can be a hurdle. 
Although outside of TDCJ, the Informal Marriage Affidavit is invalid because it wasn’t filed at the clerks office by both parties, TDCJ will make removing the other party a real hassle by insisting on a divorce for a marriage that wasn’t legal. 
If the Informal Marriage wasn’t filed and recorded AT A COUNTY CLERKS OFFICE you cannot file a divorce regarding the union. A legal marriage must exist to file a legal divorce. 
Inmates gain the CLM classification two ways. Either they went into the system proclaiming to be Common Law Married and DID NOT sign a CLM Affidavit or after being in the system, they had their girlfriend sign one proclaiming to consider themselves Common Law Married. This changes the inmates status from Single to CLM. But only within TDCJ. 
Outside of TDCJ, the other party can easily legally marry someone else “on the outside” while the inmate cannot marry anyone else “on the outside” due to the status. Why? Because the Informal Marriage Affidavit WAS NOT FILED IN PERSON BY BOTH PARTIES at the clerks office. This allows the person on the outside to marry anyone not within TDCJ. After release, an inmate can also marry anyone they choose to. However, while incarcerated, that TDCJ CLM status is going to prevent anyone on the outside from marrying an inmate on the inside from anyone other than the party listed as being his or hers Common Law Partner within TDCJ. 
I’ve had many strangers attempt to argue the point as to a CLM affidavit filed within TDCJ “being a legally binding marriage.” Listen, I’ve spent years in courtrooms. YEARS. Prior to Texas Twins Events, Texas Twins Treasures, The Pawning Planners and TDCJ Officiant, I owned Defending Debt Lawsuits and sold it to start Texas Twins Events. Don’t attempt to argue law with me. Educate yourself. Buy a family law book for this state. Understand and comprehend marriage law. Study TDCJ policy and procedure. Comprehend the Administrative Directive but don’t attempt to convince me that you know more about marriage law than I do. You don’t. 
You cannot BE living as husband and wife when one of you is incarcerated. Think about it. Living together is a requirement of proclaiming to be CLM. Many of these CLM Affidavits filed by inmates are filed AFTER being incarcerated. How on earth are they living with another party while they are living at a prison? Short answer? They aren’t. They wanted contact visits and realized that by filing a CLM Affidavit with TDCJ they could obtain contact visits. 
Proving a Common Law Marriage is far more difficult than uninformed people believe the process to be OUTSIDE of TDCJ. Why do you think the Informal Marriage Affidavit process and option exist in the first place? You know, if it was “so easy to prove to be Common Law Married.” It isn’t. 
How do you know if your inmate is listed as CLM to someone other than you? You could ask. Or, you could plan your prison wedding and stumble upon this information yourself. It’s devastating I can assure you to be thrown a curve ball that you didn’t see coming. 
The easiest way to undo a CLM status between the inmate and someone else is to have both of them sign and notarize a Dissolution Agreement. What if you don’t know who the other person is? How to contact them? You can try to dissolve the status by having the inmate file a Dissolution Agreement but some Units refuse to notarize this document and suggest the inmate file an Unsworn Declaration instead. Others demand a divorce for a marriage that never occurred. It is a problem. It’s a problem that you will need to overcome prior to being granted permission to marry an inmate. 
What if you the person on the outside signed a CLM Affidavit with another inmate in the TDCJ system and now are trying to marry another inmate? Same scenario. Even if the initial inmate you signed the affidavit with is NO LONGER INCARCERATED, TDCJ records will reflect that you are CLM and therefore not entitled to marry another inmate. 
This widespread misuse of CLM Affidavits is an ongoing problem in Texas. However, outside of TDCJ, these “marriages” are not legally binding and do not prevent anyone being listed as CLM to an inmate from marrying someone not within TDCJ. 
Unraveling this ball of yarn requires patience and dedication. On the side of the inmate, it also requires honesty. Let’s review why they had someone sign that CLM Affidavit to begin with. Contact visits. “It’s just a piece of paper.” It isn’t. TDCJ allowed contact visits based on the Affidavit. 
Now, let’s address this “elephant in the room” with a few Units who denied an I60 Request For Inmate Marriage to couples who were listed as CLM to the same person they were trying to legally marry… back before the Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate marriage was changed to allow inmate marriages, the pre existing status of being CLM blocked a legal marriage. The new Administrative Directive allowed a legal marriage to occur within TDCJ with the SAME parties listed as CLM. My clients contacted me and explained the problem. I involved the Courts and overcame the problem. The Courts like me know the policy and procedure. They are your friends whether you realize it or not when planning your Prison Wedding. 
Knowledge and experience are how and why I overcome hurdles. I have successfully married clients who were previously CLM to each other then later denied the ability to legally marry. That’s right. Over and over again too. A Denial isn’t final but it is the beginning of a process to obtain permission to marry. I have also successfully married couples who unwittingly encountered the “sticky CLM issue” of the inmate being listed as Common Law Married to someone other than them. It took months but… we unraveled the status and finally got them married. 
A CLM status to anyone other than you is frustrating, infuriating and surprising. No one expects it. For inmates who claim that they “can’t remember” either filing this status when going in or signing an affidavit after being incarcerated, I can assure you that they do remember because they gained contact visits by doing so. Honesty is the best policy here. After all, marriage is a merger and marriage must be based on trust. Inmates DO REMEMBER having the ability to hand a contact visit. Ask any inmate how difficult obtaining contact visits is and you will quickly understand why this widespread abuse of CLM Affidavits actually exists to begin with. 
I have “other Officiants” contact me frequently because they have no idea how to solve their clients unexpected problems. It’s not my job to educate them however and I’m rather busy addressing clients from five businesses and venues I’m on staff with. Learning policy and procedure within every state I conduct marriages didn’t happen overnight. Knowing marriage law and understanding prison policy is the one thing that every prison wedding Officiant should know but they don’t. This isn’t a job that only requires you to show up. This is a job that requires you to be educated and informed. This is a job that warrants your time and attention to walk your client through a very confusing and frustrating process. This is a job that requires dedication and experience. I don’t have the time to train others on how to perform their job functions. If you have hired someone who shrugs their shoulders when you encounter a problem, you hired the wrong person. 
For those of you wondering if either you or the inmate are listed as CLM to anyone other than each other, you can contact inmate records and ask or contact the Courts in Huntsville. 
For those of you who believe “proving Common Law Marriage is easy” I hope you never have to stand before a probate judge and attempt to find out how difficult what you believed to be easy is. It isn’t. Informal Marriage Affidavits exist to prove a legal marriage occurred. They also require both parties present at the clerks office. Skipping any part of this requirement does not create a legally binding marriage I can assure you. Filing a CLM Affidavit with TDCJ creates a status but that status is limited to TDCJ and not recognized as legally binding outside of TDCJ. 
For those of you still believing that by signing a CLM Affidavit within TDCJ “created a legally binding marriage,” I’m including the Texas Marriage Verification link for you to check your “legally binding Common Law Marriage Status” yourself because I have neither the time or the patience to argue with someone who isn’t my client and who believes they know or much less understand family law or marriage law contacting me with uninformed information. 
If you believe you are legally married, don’t contact me, verify it yourself. I’m busy addressing my clients and their needs and have no time to debate with uninformed strangers… 

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Headed To Hobby With A Reschedule At Michael, Maddy Moving To California And More…

On my way to LeBlanc Unit Monday, a notification about a message came through. I quickly had Cindy read it to me. My Hobby Unit client was messaging me about being on site Thursday. Panicked because I go from one day to the next on a strict schedule, I had Cindy check my Thursday last week. Thankfully, I was at Green Bay Unit in the morning leaving plenty of time to “high tail it” from Fort Worth to Marlin, Texas. 

After posting photos on my page, I had several people contact me to ask “are they BOTH women?” The answer is yes. They are both women and this is my second biracial same sex wedding at Hobby. The guards remembered me from my previous wedding ceremony. Why? Because I’m friendly and courteous to TDCJ Staff at all times that’s why. 

My previous clients photo at Hobby Unit brought on harsh criticism and comments that I consistently deleted. Why did I delete these racist and homophobic comments? In order to protect my client. The internet has literally become a legion of bullies who will comment on damn near anything with negativity. Here’s the photo.For those unaware of this, I pose my clients for Unit photos. Why? Because they are already nervous and need direction and insight. At their wedding, I was laughing and obviously not posed or prepared for the group photo which is why my neck is at an odd angle. My clients were relieved to finally be legally married. All of my Prison clients are. The process is difficult and lengthy to marry an inmate. I don’t “normally” have an angled pose from the side but my client, Brianna, loved this photo even though I appear to be “awkwardly posed.” Stacie had encountered traffic driving to Hobby from Beaumont, Texas. Ironically, Cindy and I were just in Beaumont three days prior to being at Hobby. Because Stacie was running late, I went on in at Hobby to check in with the Unit and advise them that my client was due any minute. 

By the time Stacie walked into the clearing Unit, she was very nervous and fearful of vomiting. Throughout my years as an Officiant, I have been vomited on and if someone tells me they “feel like throwing up,” I move. Thankfully though, Stacie didn’t throw up and the ceremony went well. Stacie has known her partner for 13 years. 

While many assume that anyone marrying an inmate was a pen pal, I’ve yet to marry anyone who had never met the inmate in person although I did marry someone at Michael Unit who hadn’t seen her fiancée in thirty years until walking into Michael on wedding day. After leaving the Unit, Cindy and I decided to use the railroad tracks and backdrop of nature for Stacies bridal photo shoot with us. 

While waiting on the photos to print or even prior to entering the visitation area, all of my clients share their story of how they met their partner. Many of these journeys are fascinating to me. Why? Because choosing to marry an inmate is a huge commitment. The relationship of marrying an inmate can often be viewed as one sided on numerous points and dedication is a factor of making the union work. 

Loving an inmate is lonely and expensive. Loving an inmate is a difficult journey. Loving an inmate requires commitment.Stacie was a lot of fun and willing to try on anything I handed her as well as a hot pink cowboy hat. I love it when clients have a good time. The reason we almost always do photos after the ceremony is because clients are finally relieved the wedding is past them. They are also far more relaxed. 

Stacie will be hiring Cindy and I again for their unique Vow Renewal. What makes it unique? The couple will renew their vows on Halloween with a theme revolving around black. The last themed wedding Cindy and I did was Beauty and the Beast. We loved it. I can’t wait to see Stacie again and celebrate parole of her wife at the Walls Unit.

Headed back to Fort Worth for my rehearsal at Mercado Event Center, one of my Michael Unit brides called me because the notary at Michael refused to notarize a Corrective Affidavit. This was a long shot but I asked “can you contact the other woman and get her to sign the dissolution agreement?” Luckily, she could. Problem solved. When inmates sign these Informal Marriage Affidavits, they have no real idea that this document doesn’t magically disappear but, it doesn’t. TDCJ keeps the CLM Affidavit on file and your inmate status isn’t single instead it’s Common Law Married.

Most Units WILL notarize a Corrective Affidavit for an inmate. In fact, I’m marrying my Telford Unit client in August after undoing yet another “CLM status of the inmate to someone other than her situation” held us up for over two months in the planning process. 

My Roach Unit bride has had weeks of hurdles. WEEKS. I met her at the Tarrant County Clerks Office two weeks ago where she was denied issuance of a marriage license. This denial was due entirely to the law librarian not notarizing the Absentee Affidavit. 

I called the librarian at Roach Unit while sitting beside my crying client and explained the “missing notary stamp situation” and more importantly, the timeline of my clients scheduled and confirmed July 17th wedding at Roach Unit. 

Due to the problems of not having the notary stamp and waiting to get a notarized Affidavit for my client to purchase a marriage license, I was forced to move the confirmed date from July to August. 

After waiting months to get approved and get that date at Roach Unit, Ashley was devastated. I mailed a new Absentee Affidavit obtained from the Tarrant County Clerk with the old Absentee Affidavit because an Absentee Affidavit is ONLY VALID 30 days in Texas. From the post office, I again called the law librarian to advise her of what I was sending and why if she Notarized the original that due to the delay of Unit mail, by the time Ashley received it back that it would be effectively void and useless. 

It’s now been nearly two weeks since I sent the documents on Friday that arrived the following Monday. What’s the hold up? Buckle up because this one is a real struggle for me to understand and much less comprehend. First, the law librarian denied not notarizing the affidavit. I was holding it on my hand at the clerks office and obviously aware that she was incorrect. I don’t argue with anyone. Instead, I lay out the facts. I don’t have time to argue. I need solutions to problems not arguments. This Roach Unit issue was about to become even more frustrating as the days and weeks wore on. 

By last Thursday on my way to Hobby, Ashley called me because she still hadn’t received the Affidavit back. Without it, she couldn’t purchase a marriage license. I had already instructed Ashley to take the Texas Premarital Class, Twogether In Texas in order to waive the three day waiting period. When I see trouble ahead, I plan ahead. When someone at the Unit blatantly refuses to perform the task they have been given, I give them every opportunity to do so. I wait. I take several calls from my hysterical client while I wait. By Thursday though with a confirmed date at Roach on August 7th, I advised Ashley to contact the Courts in Huntsville, Texas. Contacting Access To Courts is the last option when waiting for someone to do the right thing is ineffective. I never suggest this first. I only suggest it last in Texas. My reason for having Ashley contact the Courts was because the law librarian had refused to return calls to Ashley or even me regarding notarizing the Absentee Affidavit. What happened? Why was she first denying sending the document without notarizing it and then refusing to notarize the new Affidavit? I have no idea. BUT, inmates have access to legal services per the Administrative Directive. 

The law librarian at Roach Unit was telling Ashley on the rare occasions that Ashley called and actually reached her in the law library that “Shane did not have access because he was in seg.” 

Let’s take a minute to review that statement. The inmate didn’t have access to a notary because he was segregated? “The Access to Courts Department is a statewide program that provides services to, and for, all TDCJ offenders. All offenders are afforded some type of access to a meaningful law library that, at a minimum, contains self-help publications, pertinent case law, codes, rules, and fill-in-the-blank legal forms. Depending on the classification of the offender, he or she will either be given direct or indirect access to the law library. Offenders with direct law library access are afforded an opportunity to receive a minimum of 10 hours of access per week. Offenders with indirect law library access are delivered three items of legal research materials per day, on three alternating days per week to their housing location.” 

There’s a valid reason I instructed Ashley to contact Access To Courts. The reason was that the law librarian was specifically denying or refusing to provide notary services. Inmates and even loved ones may very well be unaware of policy and procedure but, I’m not. Surprised? Don’t be. My role is by far more involved than anyone realizes. 

The law librarian was at fault for sending a document she knew very well required a notary seal. Furthermore, the consistent excuses and run around while refusing to notarize the new Affidavit was illogical to me. It’s a simple procedure. Why was this happening? I couldn’t understand why this continued to drag on. The ONLY option left with a ticking clock on a scheduled date to marry at the unit that requires a marriage license was to have Ashley contact the Courts. Since the law librarian was contacted by the Courts, the notarized Affidavit is in the mail. You see, the Courts know policy and procedure. But, for those unaware of notary services to inmates, I will elaborate… 

IV. Notary Public Services

A. Documents: Under both federal law (28 U.S.C. § 1746) and state law (Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code § 132.001), offenders incarcerated in Texas may use an unsworn declaration under penalty of perjury in place of a written declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit sworn before a notary public. 

Documents for which notarization is requested by an attorney, documents specifically exempted from the laws on unsworn declarations, and documents destined for another state or country requiring notary public service shall continue to require notary public service.

B. Scheduling: Offenders may request notary public service by submitting an I-60 to the unit ATC supervisor. Offenders requesting notary public service shall explain why an unsworn declaration will not be legally sufficient. Requests shall be acted upon, either denied or provided, within 72 hours of the receipt of the request.

Let’s review the Unsworn Declaration and why it cannot be used in place of an Absentee Affidavit in Texas. An Absentee Affidavit REQUIRES a notary seal. See where I’m going with this? 

What is an Unsworn Declaration? 

CIVIL PRACTICE AND REMEDIES CODE

TITLE 6. MISCELLANEOUS PROVISIONS
CHAPTER 132. UNSWORN DECLARATIONS
Sec. 132.001. UNSWORN DECLARATION. (a) Except as provided by Subsection (b), an unsworn declaration may be used in lieu of a written sworn declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit required by statute or required by a rule, order, or requirement adopted as provided by law.
(b) This section does not apply to a lien required to be filed with a county clerk, an instrument concerning real or personal property required to be filed with a county clerk, or an oath of office or an oath required to be taken before a specified official other than a notary public.

(c) An unsworn declaration made under this section must be:

(1) in writing; and

(2) subscribed by the person making the declaration as true under penalty of perjury.

(d) Except as provided by Subsections (e) and (f), an unsworn declaration made under this section must include a jurat in substantially the following form:

“My name is __________ _________ ____________, my

(First) (Middle) (Last)

date of birth is _________________, and my address is

_____________, ____________, _________, ____________,

(Street) (City) (State) (Zip Code)

and __________________. I declare under penalty of

(Country)

perjury that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed in _______ County, State of ________, on the ________ day of ________, ________.

(Month) (Year)

____________________

Declarant”

(e) An unsworn declaration made under this section by an inmate must include a jurat in substantially the following form:

“My name is __________ _________ ____________, my

(First) (Middle) (Last)

date of birth is _____________________, and my inmate

identifying number, if any, is __________________. I

am presently incarcerated in ________________________

(Corrections unit name) 

in _____________, _________, _______, ____________. I

(City) (County) (State) (Zip Code)

declare under penalty of perjury that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed on the _____ day of ________, _______.

(Month) (Year)

I know there are folks out there who don’t love their job. I also know that there are folks out there who do. However, if your job function is being impeded because you don’t think inmates should marry or you simply want to exert power due to your position, there are valid reasons why policy and procedure exist. Unlike Ashley and Shane, I knew darn well that even in seg Shane had access to request a notary. But, rather than argue or even attempt to argue, I redirected Ashley to the Courts. 

Ashley doesn’t need more stress. Ashley like all of my clients “just wants to get married.” This issue at Roach has never come up before but again, I’m well versed on inmates having access to legal services. Why? I educate myself that’s why.

Most people especially arrogant people assume they are smarter than others. I don’t tell people I’m smart. I don’t need to because I show them instead. Experience is a great teacher but knowledge is power. 

The law librarian at Roach Unit for some reason that I may never understand deliberately sabotaged the Absentee Affidavit. I may never fully comprehend her reasons for sabotaging this wedding. 

I recognize and realize though that there are guards who don’t believe prisoners should have the right to marry. I’m also well aware that there are people within the free sector of the world who also don’t believe inmates should have the right to marry. 

A few days ago, someone not connected to me on LinkedIn commented on one of my posts “Inmates shouldn’t be allowed to marry. They are being punished.” Why he chose to voice his opinions on my post I have no idea. Generally though, I would have deleted this comment but, I chose not to. Why? Because I chose to respond instead. 

Ignorance is bliss for far too many people who assume that their opinions are important. This commenter and his opinions don’t affect my clients or their lives. Opinions of others don’t dictate anyone else’s life. 

My clients don’t care what others think of their unions. I don’t care what others think about my role as an open minded individual committed to making Dream Events affordable to anyone. 

My role is to make life events memorable. My role is to perform a task I’ve been retained to perform. My role isn’t to argue with someone who is opinionated. Frankly, his or anyone’s else’s opinions on inmate marriage or same sex marriage or even biracial same sex inmate marriage won’t and don’t have any impact my clients or me but, I decided to use this particular opinionated person’s comment as an opportunity to advise him of my belief that “love is love” because it is. 

Your frustrations can become your blessings if you look hard enough.

Monday morning, my niece and my beloved Maddy are headed to California for their big move. Cindy and I are heartbroken to see Maddy go. Our clients are too. This will be a very difficult transition for Cindy and I but, we will be in California again soon to see Maddy… 

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Twelve Hours On The Road And The Expenses Of Being A Prison Wedding Officiant. Risk, Reward & Reality…

When people come to me seeking an Officiant many of them say the same thing. What is it? “I just need someone to walk in and officiate my wedding.” The problem? Your prison wedding location is 5 hours or 6 or more from my location ONE WAY. “Just walk in?” You are “simplifying the process of getting there” far too much my friend. 

Travel is expensive. When you drive as much as I do, it doesn’t take your accountant to point out the facts. Driving 2k-3k miles a WEEK is a hefty investment of my time to walk into a prison and officiate your wedding ceremony. Leading up to wedding day, I’ve talked to you numerous times. I’ve answered your emails. I’ve addressed your concerns and I’ve committed myself to simplifying a very confusing process. I’ve overcome any and all issues to assist you in getting your marriage license by sending you to another county clerk or refiling an I60 that had previously been denied. Education and experience are key elements to a Prison wedding Officiant. If you don’t know what you are doing, this isn’t the business for you. 

You aren’t “just hiring someone to officiate your wedding.” You are hiring someone to plan it and someone to drive hours to get to it too. 

You aren’t just hiring an Officiant. You are hiring a driver. A planner. You are hiring someone who will take your calls for weeks or months. Someone knowledgeable about the rules pertaining to inmate marriage is DIFFICULT to find but you found me. I didn’t advertise because I didn’t need to either. My reputation is built on my dedication to making your Prison wedding as close to perfect as it can be.,

“My MORALS, are LIKE a GOOD set of TIRES, everything I HAVE is RIDING on THEM, and you can TRUST me to perform the task I’ve been retained to perform.” 

My brother in law, Steve is a truck driver. For fifty plus years now he’s been paid to drive someone else’s truck. He’s paid by the hour to roll across highways nationwide while dealing with muscle aches from doing so. Steve doesn’t pay for gas, repairs or insurance. He’s paid to drive. A traveling prison Officiant is also paid to drive. In fact, I drive up to 3k miles a week. 

What you REALLY need is to know is that whoever you hire to officiate your inmate wedding will show up. That your officiant will be on time, realiable and have adequate transportation. That your officiant will take your emails and phone calls while answering and addressing your questions and concerns. That your officiant will walk you through an often confusing process. That if you encounter a denial to your inmate marriage that your officiant can educate you as to how to have the inmate refile the I60 or correct the issues of the denial. The last part of your Prison wedding process is knowing that your officiant will show up on time and ready to go to work. 

My role is far more than just showing up to officiate your wedding. I’ve spent weeks and months talking to you, calling the Unit and guiding you through the process before gassing up my vehicle and risking another broken windshield. The cost? $350 plus for the windshield alone. Tires? Michelin Defenders at $995 a set. Mounted and balanced? $1127. Synthetic oil changes? $69 plus $19.99 for the filter. Gasoline? $35-40 a tank. I don’t “cheap out” when it comes to “getting there.”

Hours on the road? Both ways? Easily a minimum of 5-12 hours A DAY. Miles on my vehicle? Tens of thousands. When I worked as a brand marketing consultant, I was paid forty nine cents a mile. See where I’m going with this? 

By the way, I’m on my third SUV in two and a half years for those wondering just how much time I spend driving. In fact, in 25k more miles to Texas Prisons, I’m getting another SUV. I don’t keep SUVs beyond 100k miles to ensure I don’t have mechanical issues or problems. It isn’t inexpensive and much less easy to be me. I read each and every Administrative Directive update specifically to read educated to protocol within ANY state I conduct inmate marriages within. For those who assume my role is easy or fluid, a wake up call is in order here. My role is by far more involved than anyone realizes. 

For anyone thinking “I can do that” you will need the education to overcome unexpected issues during the prison wedding planning process. You need to know the rules and policies. You need to have the clients. You need to have income set aside for unexpected expenses and you need to be able to support yourself getting into this business. It looks easy to others because they have no real idea what my role entails. 

I’m sought after for solid reasons and I earned my reputation. This isn’t a job for the meek, the halfhearted or folks who plan to get rich quick at a single income families expense. 

Being a Prison wedding Officiant is a job for someone dedicated, financially sound and honorable. This is a job for someone who has the answers to questions. This is a job for someone willing to take calls and address concerns at any hour of the day. This job takes planning. Preparation. Patience. Your are the clients best friend. Their advisor. Their go to. Their strongest advocate. You are bold, brave, resilient, educated and responsible OR you won’t last long in this industry. These are facts that anyone following me and assuming that Cindy and I run from one fun filled day into the next need to understand and more importantly comprehend. I know policy and procedure within any state I officiate prison weddings. I have to in order to overcome a hurdle a wrench in the prison wedding process solely in order to overcome such issues. My clients encounter hurdles on a regular basis. From chaining out to catching a charge to being listed as CLM to the law library refusing to notarize an Absentee Affidavit to the county clerk refusing to issue a marriage license to the Warden denying to request to marry, I’ve seen it all and I’ve solved it all. I know how. This isn’t a “flying by the seat of your pants” endeavor. This job isn’t for anyone planning to “wing it.” Your clients count on you to know the answers and address their concerns. You need to be well versed on marriage laws as well as policy and procedure. You need to take calls from clients devastated about a denial and find solutions. You are in it for the long haul. A Prison wedding can take weeks, months and in my Torres Clients case even a year to plan and execute. Patience and perseverance are only a part of what I do and whom I do it for. Dedication is a requirement. 

Are you willing to put your clients needs above your own? Are you righteous? In the heart of a Public Servant there must a regard for others whom you serve as being more important than yourself (cf. Phil. 2:3 ff.). God requires that leaders whom He appoints to govern a country, His ordained Institution of the State (cf. Rom. 13:1) be a blessing to the people it serves — benefactors to the world in which they live. Ecclesiastes 8:9 specifically speaks to the selflessness a leader must possess in his job: A man has exercised authority over another to his own hurt. This is a powerful way of putting it: a leader is to be so selfless that it hurts him or her. 

Being a Prison wedding planner and Officiant REQUIRES putting your own needs last. Your other clients and even your own family can take a back seat when a crying phone call comes in that requires your immediate attention. I’ve answered crying phone calls from clients at all hours of the day or night. My clients know they can count on me to solve problems. My clients call me first because they realize they can trust me and that I will drop everything to find the answers they need. 

Let’s take my Ellis Unit client, Amanda. The Unit wouldn’t notarize an Absentee Affidavit. The Absentee Affidavit is a requirement to purchase a marriage license in Texas. An Unsworn Declaration will not and cannot be accepted in place of the Absentee Affidavit. 

TDCJ Administrative Directive
IV….

Notary Public Services
Documents: Under both federal law (28 U.S.C. § 1746) and state law (Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code § 132.001), offenders incarcerated in Texas may use an unsworn declaration under penalty of perjury in place of a written declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit sworn before a notary public. 

A. Documents for which notarization is requested by an attorney, documents specifically exempted from the laws on unsworn declarations, and documents destined for another state or country requiring notary public service shall continue to require notary public service.

B. Scheduling: Offenders may request notary public service by submitting an I-60 to the unit ATC supervisor. Offenders requesting notary public service shall explain why an unsworn declaration will not be legally sufficient. Requests shall be acted upon, either denied or provided, within 72 hours of the receipt of the request.

In order to obtain the notary seal on an Absentee Affidavit, the inmate must provide reasons why an Unsworn Declaration is insufficient. If you cannot buy a marriage license, you aren’t going to be getting married. After overcoming the Units refusal to notarize the Absentee Affidavit, Amanda encountered not one but two county clerks unwilling to issue her marriage license. I instructed her to go to Walker County where she was finally issued a marriage license. A Prison wedding planner and Officiant needs to know what to do and how to do it. 

See where I’m going with this? Many of the “I can do what she does” folks have no real idea of what I can do. What I’m aware of or the length of time spent reviewing and understanding policy and procedure. 

What you are paying for is hiring someone reliable who you know will be there. Someone who hands over the responsibility of walking their dog to their husband or having their husband eat dinner alone while I’m on the road. 

My home life and my other clients booking traditional events on the weekend are all part of my life. In any given month, I’m literally juggling 10-15 prison Units and clients. Each and every client is important. I treat all of them with the attention they deserve. I never decline calls. If I’m on duty, Cindy answers texts, emails and phone calls for me. 

 “CHARACTER can be DESCRIBED in THREE words, ATTITUDE, HONESTY and ACTIONS” God bless us all.

Cindy Daniel

What you are also paying for is someone who doesn’t drive ten to twelve hours across Texas alone. My twin sister, Cindy accompanies me and has her household run by others while she’s away with me. My husband isn’t comfortable having his wife driving across Texas alone for 8-15 hours in a day. 

My sister is not only my copilot and navigator as she is also my secretary on the road. “We’ve got Goree Unit asking about the law library filing the I60.” My response? “Call her and I will walk her through checking the status with inmate records.” A text comes in. Cindy reads it “Buster Cole needs to reschedule because the Unit is requiring a letter from her P.O. And she can’t get it before the wedding.” My answer? “Call Buster Cole so I can reschedule.” After rescheduling, I call the client to tell her exactly what I need her letter to say on the rescheduled day of her Unit Wedding. My Gib Lewis client calls and I answer on Bluetooth. “We have been denied.” I must find out why in order to better understand what needs to be done. I ask questions. An I60 is a very specific document. It doesn’t simply read Approved or Denied. I call Gib Lewis while driving then call the client then call the Courts in Huntsville. Twenty four hours later, the I60 is Approved and I schedule the wedding. 

Anyone riding in my SUV would be surprised at the number of times my cell rings or a text comes in. It’s shocking. From family to clients to Units to venues to inquiries, my phone literally never stops ringing. A joyous call from my Michael Unit client to schedule her Vow Renewal? You bet. I’m the first person any client calls when the inmate makes parole. Why? Because I have a strong bond with my clients and also because they want a real wedding and want me to officiate. They want their friends and family. They want to wear a wedding dress that doesn’t cover their shoulders. They want more than two peck kisses and hugs at their ceremony. They want it all and for previous clients who married at a Unit, they get it all. These Vow Renewals ARE and ALWAYS WILL BE a true celebration to the testament of love enduring all things while overcoming all things. 

The amount of time I spend driving to a Unit is surprising since my clients and I only have 25 minutes “inside” for the ceremony. Getting approved and getting there are only part of my day with a client. 

Upon leaving the Unit, Cindy and I find great areas for bridal or groom photos and unload my loaded SUV full of bouquets, bouteniers, tiaras, furs and more. We love our photo shoots with clients and our clients love them even more. I’m always asked “why do you provide free photos and why did you go to the expense to create an inventory for your clients to use at photo shoots?” The answer is that Unit photos are disappointing to my clients. They are also $3 each. I buy 3 Unit photos on wedding day and give them to my clients. 

Having anyone be “thrilled” with their Unit photos on wedding day has never occurred yet. A few of my clients have even cried about the often disappointing quality of wedding day photos at Prisons. 

To overcome the problem, I decided to do my own photo shoots for clients and gift them bridal or groom photos as a courtesy. Cindy is often the photographer while I grab a new bouquet or change my clients tiara or go find a fur stole I think would coordinate with the bouquet. We work as a team on location. 

My husband likes to have me home regardless of what hour it might be. I never rent a hotel in Texas although I always do in our other states. Why? To keep my TDCJ Clients costs lower that’s why. Outside of Texas clients incur lodging expenses. 

My brother in law drives 8-10 hours a day. It’s not uncommon for me to drive 8-12 hours a day. Steve is regulated on driving hours. If he goes over his hours, his company pays for a hotel as well as an hourly rate for Steve to sit and wait to drive again. 

What you are paying for is dependability. You might have hired me AFTER hiring someone else that let you down on all counts but… you chose to take that risk. You gambled on someone else giving you the same quality of care that I do. You also lost your money by placing that bet to the “other Officiant.” Get it back. Demand a refund. THEN CONTACT ME. 

For over two years now, brides and grooms planning a prison wedding have come to me AFTER INITIALLY hiring the “WRONG OFFICIANT” in Texas. This “other officiant” who didn’t bother show up also took your money. 

The “other officiant” you have already paid who should have been doing all of the above I’ve described is also guilty of theft of services. These “other Officiants” ALSO owe you a refund. Get it and THEN call me. 

By the time a few of you have come to me, you have almost always “lost money to that other officiant.” Get your money back. I cannot stress this enough. Verify your Officiants credentials and track history while you are at it too. Educate yourselves. Quality, Consistency, Reliability and Loyalty are what make Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners, Texas Twins Treasures and TDCJ Officiant DIFFERENT. WE KEEP OUR PROMISES! 

“Don’t EXPECT a BLUE chip EXPERIENCE, from a BOTTOM of the BARREL business. RELIABILITY, ACCOUNTABILITY and EXPERIENCE matter.” 

When you hire myself OR my staff, you can rest assured that unlike these “other Officiants,” you will never have to worry about us returning your phone calls, addressing your concerns or much less and Heaven Forbid– showing up on wedding day. You can count on us which is far more than I can say for these “other Officiants.” 

Cindy and I are stopped all the time by others reading banners on our SUVs for Texas Twins Events and TDCJ Officiant. When we tell these folks that we perform prison weddings, they are at first shocked then intrigued then interested in how we can teach them to do what we do. True story. 

Cindy and I have been interviewed by production companies, radio stations and news media about how we made this work and how we got into this business. We give people the weddings we didn’t have. The flowers, the photos, the attention to details. 

One interviewer actually asked me “can you elaborate and tell others how they can get into this business?” My answer? “No. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist?” I meant it. 

While others including a few of my own family members laughed years ago about “my plan to create affordable options for event services,” Cindy and I didn’t. 

Perseverance pays off. Merging Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create a barter option? More laughs but, the people NO ONE ELSE wanted to help came to us. 

From rich to poor, we literally covered every base. From LBGT clients to others wanting to marry an inmate, we have never limited creative requests. Quite the contrary. Instead, we’ve rebranded and expanded to address any and all creative requests. We’ve also earned a stellar reputation in an industry of no show Officiants AND Planners who take no pride in their OWN performance. 

Today’s blog will outline why making the mistake of hiring someone else isn’t my luggage and it isn’t my trip. Quality and reliability aren’t inexpensive. You get what you pay for. If you’ve paid the wrong person, get your money back and then contact me or my staff. I cannot stress this point enough. 

The expenses of being a traveling prison officiant are expensive. The vehicle, the repairs, the maintenance, the hours on the road and the role of an inmate Officiant are many. You have questions I have answers. Experience matters. Experience isn’t inexpensive either. 

Reliability and consistency aren’t inexpensive and I can no longer take on everyone else’s previous client at a discount because they hired the wrong person to begin with making your burden and subsequent mistake my expense. 

Before you hire someone to take on the role of your prison wedding Officiant, understand that this is a serious job that requires a hefty investment of my time, product knowledge of marriage laws as well as policy and procedure at Units within each state I officiate as well as my vehicle and my pocketbook. I prepare for these trips by ensuring I have no mechanical issues that would impede my ability to be there on time and ready to work. 

Leaving home in the dark and arriving home in the dark are very long days. Unexpected broken windshields are an expense to anyone driving across back roads to Prisons. Tires, gasoline, and even the possibility of an accident and more are part of the expenses of being a prison Officiant. 

When a traditional client books me to officiate their wedding within the DFW area, I ask “is there a rehearsal?” Why? Because there is an additional fee for a rehearsal. Do you know why? Because I’m driving to the same location twice. A rehearsal is a separate ceremony. 

There’s a reason that I also ask “what is the location?” Because there is an additional fee for travel. Time spent driving is time that could be spent doing something else like spending time with my family. 

My time is valuable. My time on your wedding day is spent making your Dream Event a reality. 

The fee for a JP to officiate your ceremony in Texas is $100. The Judge isn’t leaving his job to travel to you. Instead, you travel to them. 

These days everyone wants or thinks they can be a prison Officiant. The MANY WHO THINK MY ROLE IS SIMPLY TO SHOW UP are mistaken about my job being easy. It isn’t. It’s complicated. It’s knowing where to send you to get that marriage license. It’s knowing marriage law. It’s understanding the Administrative Directive to find solutions to YOUR PROBLEMS. It’s answering crying and hysterical phone calls 24/7 from someone who encountered a problem either with a CLM Status or a Denial on an I60 Request For Inmate Marriage. 

There are many “who think they can do this job” but there is only one of me. While I have others on my staff who are authorized to officiate your prison wedding in many states, it is I who have the answers to unexpected problems. When someone on my Team encounters something unexpected, they call me. I know what to do. I didn’t “suddenly wake up educated to finding solutions” either. I educated myself spending hours pouring over policy and procedures in numerous states as well as Texas. I’ve spent hours and hours and hours reading and retaining knowledge to overcome the unexpected. Corrective Affidavits? Yes. A Warden unaware that a CLM couple are entitled to a legal wedding? Hang on while I fix this and contact the Courts to call the Unit. Visitation revoked, let me tell you how to file an Appeal. Yes, I know what to do. 

These “other Officiants” BELIEVE THEIR ONLY RESPONSIBILITY AND REQUIREMENTS are to show up on wedding day. These “other Officiants” are often guilty of failing to even do that! I’ve had a FEW FOLKS contact me after making the mistake of hiring someone else. If you want someone to get the job done, you hire me or my staff FIRST. We don’t have mistakes or excuses. We know what to do and how to do it. We exceed client expectations and give you a beautiful day with beautiful photos as a courtesy. 

WE DO YOUR EVENT DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE WE CARE WHEN THESE “OTHER OFFICIANTS” DON’T. 

I can’t tell you how many clients have told me “I want to do what you do.” But, these folks have no real idea of what’s involved or the expenses of what I do and more importantly who I do it for. They don’t realize that knowing what to do or how to do it are based on education and experience. They fail to realize that it takes money to make money. Operating a business or even several is a hefty expense. I do not and will not advertise. Why? Because this expense would result in raising my fees and I don’t market new clients. My role is to focus on existing clients first. In fact, I limit new bookings specifically to keep from spreading myself too thin for existing clients. 

It’s impossible to work another job and officiate inmate weddings. Why? Because you must be available that’s why. You must have reliable transportation and you must have knowledge of the Administrative Directive when problems arise. It’s also your job to be the fixer. It’s your job to overcome a snarky county clerk refusing to issue a license to your client. It’s your job to hold someone’s hand unfamiliar it’s the process and the timeline involved. It’s your job to mail that license, maintain your vehicle, juggle your home life and family and make it all work. 

It’s your job to exceed expectations and earn a stellar reputation in an industry that these days has everyone jumping on the bandwagon to become a prison Officiant with little or no clue as to what is actually involved. Unlike these others, I’m well versed. I’m educated. Knowledgeable. Reliable. Consistent. 

I don’t find my clients. They find me. Many find me AFTER they’ve hired and paid someone else. I can no longer make exceptions and or discount YOUR fee because YOU hired the wrong person to officiate your prison wedding. 

My soft heart has cost me money again and again. How so? Because I’ve made exceptions based on your story. I will no longer “make exceptions” because you’ve hired the wrong officiant. You chose to make an expensive mistake. Experience is a great teacher. You’ve learned but your mistake cannot and will not be my burden. 

Frankly, it’s unfair to my other clients as well as myself and staff to do so as well as a financial burden to me because you’ve trusted someone else who let you down. GET YOUR MONEY BACK FROM THE “OTHER OFFICIANTS!”

Get your money back but don’t expect me or my staff to make special exceptions because you’ve trusted the wrong person. We operate a business. This business has Expenses. This business also has a web designer, accountant and other factors as well as time, insurance, vehicle repairs, gasoline, tires and windshields or EVEN the possibility of having an accident while driving to your prison wedding. 

Today’s blog is an update to changes for people coming to me who paid someone else then expected me to discount my fee because they had done so. 

Posted on

“Don’t BE like a BLISTER, showing UP, when the WORK is ALREADY done”

Yesterday, I was told I was “lucky.” Somewhat offended, I responded “luck has nothing to do with success. Quite the opposite, luck is a fairy tale. Success comes from hard work, dedication, passion and perseverance. I’m a workaholic and overachiever who pioneered my way into an industry where no one and I mean absolutely no one was either helpful or insightful.” I didn’t need anyone’s help. 

This acquaintance who I’ve known since 2012 then asked why I didn’t send him client referrals? Well now, first I’m lucky and then you want to share in my successes? What the? I didn’t get where I am today from someone else’s efforts. I got here on my own. I didn’t ask anyone for help. I studied the industry. There isn’t anything I don’t know or understand pertaining to my numerous roles and job duties. I didn’t “learn” everything through hard work and dedication to make life easier for my competition either. This acquaintance was only buddying up to me to get leads for clients who didn’t contact him. Instead, they contacted me. 

Referrals can bite you in the ass to begin with. What if the referral doesn’t work out? Think about it. You referred someone to someone who wasn’t honest or fair. You referred them. I’m cautious because a referral can and will bite you. 

Let’s say my neighbor comes over and has a plumbing problem “your husband is a builder and developer. Can he just send one of his contractors over to fix MY problem?” Hell no. It’s your problem buddy. We don’t need your monkeys over here. “I’ve seen his contractors at your house. Just send them over.” I get this kind of stuff all of the time. Usually though my neighbors aren’t asking for a referral especially, this neighbor. 

This lady (the neighbor) is not only a narcissist but, she also only comes by when she wants something. I don’t need friends on my block. In my opinion, she should either get a job or find a husband mine isn’t for sale or lease and neither are his employees. 

Last weekend, the same neighbor stopped me yet again. “I was talking to our neighbor Suzanne, and she didn’t know you did LBGT marriages and prison weddings.” 

I was literally exhausted and, it was past 9. Coming home from a weekend of 6 events, having my bitchy neighbor spreading what she perceives as being “controversial gossip” about me, I knew she was stirring the chili. But, I didn’t give a shit. I never do. Let’s go over why. 

My neighbor isn’t going to hire me for anything and NEITHER are my neighbors. If they tried to book me, I’d say I was busy. In fact, I turn DOWN “traditional bookings” all the time. Why? Because I am busy as F for one and 2, rich people are the type of clients I prefer NOT to work with or FOR. They always “want it all but, never want to pay for it.” They are a problem. 

In 9 years now, I’ve performed over 2K events. If there is a situation I haven’t encountered yet, it would be a shocking surprise. From the “Bouncing Check Broken Tooth Bride” to the “Banjo Playing Boyfriend” to the “Tardy Party Bride” I can assure you that if there is a scenario or “incident” out there that my team and I haven’t encountered yet, the possibility is slim if not rare or remote. 

I’m “recognized” all of the time. “Hey, I saw you on Hot Bench with the Tardy Party Bride who lied. You did one helluva job on that lawsuit.” Yep. I over prepare. 

Let’s go over the factual details of “Tardy Party.” She lied to get a police discount. She was over an hour late to her own wedding and, she wrote me a hot check. I sued her the following Monday in Tarrant County, Texas. Here’s a photo of me on the set of Hot Bench.

When I tell you “I don’t suffer fools lightly” I’m not kidding. From Hot Checks to Texas Twins Events Clients “changing the terms of their original contract with add ons, I have seen it all.” 

If you “other Officiants” think that being dishonest is acceptable behavior, you are not only an unethical idiot, you are also going to feel the fire when I turn it up a notch and hold you accountable.” I’m good at it.  

“Dear LORD please BLESS the PEOPLE that CONFUSE, ignorance WITH righteousness.”

Cindy Daniel

A few of you have been on Texas Twins Events and saw this disclaimer (below). That’s not for LBGT Clients or TDCJ Clients. It’s there to warn “traditional clients” not to get rowdy or demanding. 

Last year I had my ribs broken at an Open Bar Event/Brawl trying to separate the groomsmen. Yes, I sued for medical expenses. Yes, I won. I’ve never been hurt at a LBGT or TDCJ event. EVER. 

I’ve also had to sue “rich people” who didn’t pay their balance. When I tell you I have had far more problems with “traditional clients,” I’m NOT KIDDING!

In fact, throughout my lifetime, if I have no other option than to sue you in order to hold you accountable, you can rest assured that I have never lost a lawsuit in my life. In State or Federal Court. 

I now (and have for many years) hire my own attorneys because 1. I can tell them what to do for me and it’s far more convenient and, 2. I don’t have time for idiots as well as 3. I have plenty of money and don’t have to work to earn a living and haven’t in over 7 years. 

I up charge “traditional clients” 300% or more when I do take on their event booking. It’s still not enough. Why? “I need security, photographers, video, Bla, Bla, Bla.” When I tell “traditional clients” how much these “additional services are going to cost (PS I love this part) they are shocked? “I thought you had a Team. Aren’t they part of the deal?” No dipshit. 

You don’t hire an Officiant or Planner or both and get a FREE team to work their butt off for free just because you asked. I don’t have this kind of stupidity with LBGT Clients OR TDCJ Clients. Catching on? I turn down 20-30 “traditional clients” all year long. I’m usually laughing when I do too. If I’m not laughing, I’m on location with a client and, laughing later.

Having “other vendors” tell me I’m too cheap is funny because I am when it comes to TDCJ Clients or LBGT Clients. Why? Because I don’t have to work and also because I have a good time with them. I PREFER LBGT or TDCJ CLIENTS. 

To prove how much fun I have with my clients, I’m adding photos…eat your heart out haters. 

Before I came on the scene doing Prison Weddings, it was a sellers market. They could charge whatever they wanted and people were either not getting services they had paid for or paying outrageous fees. 

I changed all of that. I changed it for my clients who had been victimized by people who were trying to make as much money as they could without a care in the world for their clients. I gave the “other Officiants a wake up call.” They are lit about it. F em. 

“A LIE travels AT the SPEED of SOUND, meanwhile the TRUTH moves AT a WALKING pace, SEARCHING for an EAR to LISTEN.”

Cindy Daniel

“I’m taking YOUR Clients?!” The people you took advantage of. The people you never returned calls to? The people who trusted you?” Someone needs to close the tent on all of the clowns (aka “other Officiants”) running around wondering why THEY are losing THEIR CLIENTS to ME.

“GRATITUDE is the DIFFERENCE, between APPRECIATION, and a SENSE of ENTITLEMENT.”

Cindy Daniel

I’m rarely home because I work all of the time. I do have clients come to my home if they live nearby and I do have film crews of 3 or 4 suvs with sound equipment or camera equipment show up over here. 

I’m the “busy neighbor.” I’m not the neighbor watching maids clean my home or expecting someone else to take out my trash. My neighbors and my unique clients have nothing in common. 

Everyone in my neighborhood has either seen production companies lugging equipment into my home OR caught a glimpse of Texas Twins Events Clients or Pawning Planners Clients or even TDCJ Clients coming into my home. Whether they are interracial, LBGT, hillbillies or one of my vendor friends driving up in a Rolls Royce. My clients don’t give a shit about my snooty neighbors staring at them and I don’t either. You never know what you will see coming or going from WorthamWorld. 

Everyone in my neighborhood is on a high horse. I don’t know why and don’t care either. After all, I live here myself and try to be nice to these idiots but, if you can’t take your own trash can back from the curb, don’t expect me to. 

My neighbor always leaves her trash cans out and has for years. I leave it there. It’s hard. I’m OCD. 

But, I ignore her trash can while walking Foxy solely because on the few (rare times) that I have brought it in, she expected me to take it out and bring it back. 

Walking Foxy and looking at that trash can annoys me week after week. I am intolerant of laziness and/or entitlement. I have strong opinions about people that expect others to do THEIR dirty work FOR THEM. 

No good deed goes unpunished. 

Last Sunday’s irritating conversation with my neighbor? “Well, we don’t believe in LBGT Marriage or Prison Marriage and I wanted to tell you about it.” Exhausted, I snapped. “You know what? My clients don’t give a shit about your opinions and I don’t either. I don’t care why you spy on my production team either. Mind your own GD business and stop snooping around my house or hitting on my husband. If you can’t change your own light bulb, go hire someone to do it. I hate judgmental jackasses like you who think you know it all or people care about your opinion.” 

The average house in my neighborhood is $600k and up. I don’t have a maid but everyone else does. I clean my own house and always have. I rarely sleep. I’m OCD.  

But, people will try to use you as long as you let them. I learned not to let someone else put their monkeys on my back. My husband had learned this years before me. 

But, I had “friends.” My husband doesn’t have friends or want them. My husband also doesn’t travel with me either to film or drive to Texas Prisons. My twin, my son, and my niece do.

My husband will tell you “friends are expensive and a lot of work.” He isn’t too far off. All of my life, my “friends” have either had me paying for everything or loaning them money they never paid back doing everything else for them. I’m leery of friends because I have good reason to be. 

In 2008, I copyrighted and in 2012 sold “Defending Debt Lawsuits LLC.” My original concept and formula for forcing non suits on third party debt collectors was unique and effective. 

Every debt lawsuit defending attorney wanted a copy of my solution but, nothing has ever been free to me and it wasn’t free to them either. I sold my rights and the formula to Defending Debt Lawsuits to the highest bidder. 

Since 2012, Defending Debt Lawsuits has been copied and revamped over and over again. 

Even today, consumers continue to hire attorneys to fight their debt lawsuits are paying upwards of $1200-1500 dollars per lawsuit. In most cases, these attorneys still “advise their clients to settle. By doing so, debtors literally create a new agreement and “new paper” while other collection attorneys continue to file new lawsuits. It is truly a sick Merry Go Round of money and victims. 

I had created a way (Defending Debt Lawsuits) that effectively forced non suits against third party collection lawsuits that put a halt to the train wreck. 

I also advised debtors to freeze their credit reports to prevent further lawsuits too. 

Prior to me coming up with a creative and effective solution, everyone involved in  either “fighting” lawsuits or, filing them were living the high life while defendants were committing suicide or facing the dissolution of their marriage due to the stress. 

I have no grey areas in my life and a blatant disregard for anyone victimizing others who lack integrity, ethics or a conscience. 

By the way, from 2008-2011, I provided my 100% effective formula for free to consumers on the internet. 

If you happened to be an attorney just seeking my hard work to financially benefit yourself though, I had my web Team track your URL and refused to provide a password protected download. 

I am intolerant of “Sneaky Pete’s” aka the attorneys financially benefiting from the literal FLOOD of third party lawsuits who continually take advantage of the misfortune others. 

You know, the folks who can’t afford to be taken advantage of in THE FIRST PLACE. 

What debtors didn’t and couldn’t understand and may never understand was that their Failure To Appear resulted in a Default Judgement that would never go away. Years later, their checking accounts were garnished. They never filed an answer or an appearance. They later regretted their decision. But, you can lead a horse to water and never make him drink.

The spiral of debt lawsuits came into play specifically due to the recession. When money gets tight, cockroaches aka Debt Attorneys crawl out of the woodwork. 

Consumers have no idea that by responding or agreeing to make a payment on a Time Barred Debt that they are effectively reopening and re aging the original debt. 

Debt lawsuits are so predominant that the previous “capped” amounts in JP Courts have been raised in order to account for the hundreds of lawsuits filed each week in courts across the United States. Cattle calls for defenders flood the courthouses everyday across America. 

Last Thursday, I witnessed yet another “cattle call” of confused consumers going to the wrong door or limply dragging off their belts, their hats and their shoes to go to court. The Debt Collectors in cheap suits with smirky smiles await these lost souls. 

Secretly, I pray that all debt collectors who chose to earn a living by destroying someone’s life solely to make a buck will burn in Hell for all eternity. 

Debt Collection attorneys are sharks, parasites, and one day, they will be held accountable for their crimes against humanity and the innocent victims who had no idea how to fight back. In my opinion, “the day of reckoning can’t come soon enough for Debt Collectors.” Why? Because I’ve seen the people they’ve destroyed that’s why. I’ve seen their sneaky tactics of re aging time barred debt or creating “new accounts” in order to age debts with the help of Transunion, Equifax and Experian. I’ve helped thousands of debtors but, I couldn’t save everyone. No one can. 

Collection attorneys will bully and intimidate their victims into signing an Agreement. This agreement will be “new paper.” It will also include fees, court costs and interest to the initial debt as well as late fees and other exorbitant costs to the defendant. 

It’s a tragedy but, consumers as a whole have no idea how to prepare interrogatories or admissions much less an answer.

Debt collection victims are lost in a sea of paper from collection agents and it’s not uncommon to be sued over and over for the same debt since the paper can be bought over and over again.

Happily, last Thursday, I was meeting two sets of clients for photography and wedding ceremonies. Gone are my days of trying to help people by educating them about debt lawsuits. 

Gone are the days of everyone expecting me to clean up their shit. Instead, I was at the courthouse having a good time. Thank God.

Few people realize that my extensive knowledge spans courthouses but, it does. For twenty plus years now, I’ve studied law both criminal and civil. 

During my divorce and child custody battle, I also studied family law. Sadly, many consumers are NOT aware that education is essential in order to understand the dynamics of a courtroom. You don’t “wing it” in a courtroom. 

Gone are the days when a farmer can simply plead his case and walk away with a win. What you don’t know can hurt you in a courtroom. There are timelines, deadlines and Rules Of Procedure that if you happen to think are “easy to do” are (in fact) far from it. As a Pro Se Litigant, you are expected to know and understand these Rules.

A few years ago, one of my friends, came to my home and announced “I’ve decided to stop paying my credit cards.” Alarmed and shocked since I pay for everything from lunch to shopping whenever we are together, I asked “why? You have no debt. They will sue you over and over again.” 

Turning to me, my friend said “I’m old. I don’t own a home and besides you know everything about debt lawsuits there is to know. You can help me.” Help? WTF? “Helping” became opening my mailbox to a Manila envelope chock full of collection letters AND lawsuits against my “friend.” Those were HER MONKEYS not mine. 

I walked away from courthouses and clerks years ago. The LAST thing I wanted to do was help someone who had literally stepped in shit and wanted me to clean her shoes. I was angry and questioned my friendship with people who always wanted something from me. I began to wonder and realize if every person I assumed was a friend was instead a user? I was pretty close to finding out. 

Months later, I came home to the first lawsuit filed against my frenemy in my mailbox. How convenient for my frenemy to drop her problems into my mailbox for me to prepare her Notice Of Appearance and General Denial. Weeks later, another lawsuit. Then another and another. 

My friend or frenemy was sued 15 times over her initial Default of 40k. By the eighth lawsuit and non suit, I was overwhelmed dealing with my friends pile of shit. Now, she was conveniently also leaving IRS letters on the “income” earned by not paying her debts too. 

Meanwhile, my father was getting sued for back taxes and I was ready to rip my own hair out. 

Instead, I went to my friends house and took all of her mail back in a paper bag. I also told her “hire an attorney, file bankruptcy but, your problems were created by you. I’ve had more than enough of coming home to a mailbox full of your problems or worse, my father’s. Both of you can do what I now do and hire your own attorneys. I’m out of the clean everybody’s else’s shit up business. It’s sucks and it doesn’t pay a dime. Also, filing fees aren’t free. Hours preparing YOUR paperwork consume my time and rather than appreciate me fighting my way through a sea of paperwork, you don’t thank me but instead bring me more of your shit. Our friendship is over because I don’t need friends that take advantage of me, my knowledge or my soft heart. Based on your lawsuits, the initial $40k is going to follow you for the rest of your life. You will be sued over and over again and you will continue to drop more problems into my mailbox. I don’t want your problems. I don’t have problems. You do. File Chapter 7 and stay out of the mall.” My father got the same conversation. 

I cut ties from both of them and stopped getting everyone’s problems or piles of THEIR shit dropped off in my mailbox. Goodbye and good riddance! 

After years in courtrooms, I put the faces of people who were unwilling to help themselves and their sad stories far behind me. I NOW PAY ATTORNEYS and don’t “help” draw up lawsuits. 

If you step in SHIT, don’t call me to clean it up “just because I can” or because “I’m so good at it.” I’m out of the lawsuit business and have been for years! Sure, I can do it but, no one GAVE me the knowledge on how to do it. I figured it out MYSELF. 

In fact, I can draw up a lawsuit blindfolded with one hand tied behind my back but, I’m damn busy and not interested in solving everyone’s problems “just because I can.” 

My husband and I sold our home and I moved on to a place in my life where I had assumed 10-14 hour days would be long behind me but, success isn’t for couch potatoes. 

While at the courthouse, I turned away from the weak and the weary marching into the gates of Hell. Those “courthouse days” are far behind me. Instead, Leigh Ann and I met our wonderful clients and enjoyed hours of fun with them. Here are the photos from the Courthouse-Denika & Tasha Fort Worth, Texas.

For everyone calling me to do their dirty work or do all the work for them that expect to benefit from my sacrifice, here’s a great lesson for ya all, “F Off.” 

If you think that I’m lucky you are full of shit. I’m the hardest working most loyal son of a bitch you are ever going to meet but, I’m not stupid. In fact, I’m highly intelligent. 

When I expanded Texas Twins Events to The Pawning Planners and later to TDCJ Weddings, I didn’t do it to benefit my competition. I did it to help people. If you cannot get your own clients, that’s YOUR LUGGAGE and YOUR TRIP. 

I’m not going to tell you how to make your business successful because mine is. I know all about “shopping competitors.” I also know all about unethical people who have taken advantage of people who eventually found me and I married them instead. 

Frankly, they wouldn’t have been looking for me had you been doing your job in the first place. I hate liars, losers, con artists and smoke or mirrors. I also hate unethical people who cry “she stole my clients!” Bitch please. You lost your client because you kept lying and misleading them. Get over yourself. 

No, I’m not going to send you MY CLIENTS because I earned their business by being fair and honest and upfront. I made TDCJ Weddings affordable and the rest of ya all can stop the game playing and pity parties. 

“You get all of the clients because you are so cheap.” Whatever. I don’t have to work remember genius? Hell excuses are like assholes. Everybody has one. 

Stop wondering why I’m on top of Google without paying to be there or how the Hell your clients found me after you screwed them over. I wasn’t soliciting clients- I never have had to Sherlock. These clients  started looking because they realized you “other Officiants” were screwing them around.

“Don’t CRITICIZE my PARTY, if YOU showed up, UNINVITED and WITHOUT a GIFT.”

Cindy Daniel

PS- I know who subscribes to my blogs, visits my sites, spies on my social media and all the other childish crap you “other Officiants” are doing to try and copy me. I just don’t care. You aren’t me. You can’t be me and you sure as Hell have never operated a business like me either. 

Pretending to be a prospect is one of the stupidest ideas I’ve heard of yet. Did you think my competition hasn’t been “shopping me” for years trying to get a piece of my clients? I’m well aware of your stupidity and your phony phone calls. I simply play along but, you aren’t wasting my time as Cindy and I listen in on Bluetooth. Why, because we are headed to MEET yet another one of YOUR FORMER clients that’s why. Put that in your pipe and smoke it smart ass. 

I’m ethical, honest, reliable and I’ve never disappointed any client in my life. If you want to copy something, you might try copying MY integrity….