Category: Love After Lock Up

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Walking Away From The Walls Unit. Prisoner Releases Are A Celebration…

Last Thursday, my previous client, Priscilla stood outside a Huntsville Prison awaiting the release of her husband. A little over two years ago, I had married Joe and Priscilla at Sanders Estes Unit in Venus, Texas.

Six months ago, Priscilla contacted me regarding planning a Vow Renewal October 2019. 

Texas has the largest prison system in America, with more than 150,000 prisoners behind bars. The headquarters of the state’s Department of Criminal Justice is in Huntsville, a small, conservative town that’s home to nine state prisons. 

In the center of Huntsville is the Walls Unit. The oldest prison in Texas, it has gained notoriety in recent years as the location of Texas’ famously-frequent executions. 

But another, less-known function of the Walls Unit is mustering out the Texas system’s prisoners: every day, more than 150 men are processed, paroled and released. Priscilla’s husband was one of those released inmates.

I had three brides that day at Estes Unit and bridal photos following the ceremonies. It was a long day. Priscilla brought her mother with her as a guest which is unusual at a Prison Wedding. 

Guests are almost never allowed. In fact, I’ve only had two occasions where a guest was present at a Prison Wedding and both times were at Estes Unit.Looking back at the day I had officiated the marriage ceremony for Priscilla and Joe, I remember that it was a full day of weddings at Sanders Estes and I was struggling with the pain of a kidney stone that I thought was my appendix. There aren’t any sick days for me officiating Prison Weddings. I had travelled to Estes Unit knowing that I would go to the ER upon my return to Fort Worth. 

What I thought was appendicitis would turn out to be a kidney infection with two stones causing me more pain than I have ever experienced in my life. 

But, I was still managing to hold it together throughout a day of weddings and photo shoots with all of my Estes brides. I have a high tolerance of pain. 

In fact, I even joined Priscilla and her mom for lunch after their photo shoot but, hours later, I was at Harris Hospital. My twin sister, Cindy met me at the ER and took photos for her usual “FB updates.” I had changed clothes after leaving Venus, Texas and for a few moments was without stabbing, jarring pain. 

The pain would come back though. My weekend was spent in and out of the ER. If you’ve never had a kidney stone, be thankful. Two days later, due to my rigid schedule, I flew to California to film This Time Next Year with my twin sister, Cindy. 

We brought my niece and grandniece with us and although I was still in a bit of pain, Cindy and I managed to get through filming and enjoy our trip. 

Priscilla, like many of my other clients became a FB friend and was shocked that a few hours after her wedding I had been in the ER. I’ve followed all of her visits to Joe and we kept up with one another. My TDCJ Clients become friends for life. I share their journey. Being sick or in pain didn’t disrupt my schedule. In fact, nothing does. No matter what is going on in my personal life, I show up ready to go to work. 

Priscilla and Joe had taken marriage classes while he was an inmate. These classes prepare couples for their lives together. Priscilla really enjoyed the classes and the opportunity to share learning with Joe.The Walls Unit isn’t normally a location for celebration but, for families awaiting the release of their loved ones, the environment becomes celebratory with many loved ones taking videos and selfies. 

Releases mark the end of prison visits and expensive phone calls for loved ones. Releases also mark the beginning of life beyond Prison walls.I’m happy that Priscilla found her happily ever after and looking forward to seeing her again in October…. 

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A Hitch In Time. County Jail Or Texas Prison Wedding Ceremonies & The Impact Of Video Visitation…

In my opinion, inmate phone calls are ridiculously expensive and I should know. My niece was incarcerated in Cotton County five years ago. This would be my first “hint” to the expensive phone calls to my twin sister or I. 

From setting up a phone account, to the actual charge per minute, these phone calls are a hefty expense. Did my niece realize she was costing her mother and I hundreds of dollars a month to call home? I doubt it but, as we wait for her to be transferred from JPS/LCA to Parker County Jail, we are buckling up for more months of expensive phone calls. 

Having a conversation with my niece who wants to call home several times a day while also wanting money on her books and expecting my sister to pay her probation fees to Cotton County, a discussion was in order regarding “entitlement.” My niece is 31 years old and for nearly a year and a half now, expects her mother to continue paying her bills. Numerous traffic violations and losing her car have added on the expenses for my niece. Although she is complaining about not having a car, my niece should be focusing on finding work to pay her massive fees. 

Parents and loved ones alike take on a heavy burden when it comes to phone calls but, video visits seem be more popular these days for County Jails than phone calls. My niece prefers to call her mother or I and I’m looking in to the cost of video versus phone calls. Hundreds of dollars in calls a month as well as money on the books adds up and quickly. 

The flip side of inmate phone calls is video visitation. I don’t believe you can replace the human contact of a visit with video but, a number of county Jails are doing just that. I’ve visited my niece is County Jails for over twelve years now. It’s not easy trying to cheer someone up in Jail but after 13 involuntary commitments, visiting my niece in a mental institute is equally taxing for me. I’ve also had to visit my father in a mental institution and my grandniece. 

Quite frankly, my Pom Poms are losing their streamers these days. My family have no idea the amount of stress they bring to the table. Work is my salvation. 

Video visitation continues to be an issue for prospects contacting me to Officiate a County Jail Wedding at a Unit that ONLY allows video conferencing. 

I will not conduct a ceremony via video for a number of reasons but mainly because video, cell phone or other forms of communication aren’t a legally binding ceremony. Why? Unless it’s a Proxy Marriage, the internet is not a legal entity. Communicating via the internet to marry might sound like a good idea but, it isn’t. 

My clients are always right in front of me whether they are separated by a glass partition or not. 

Prior to the Administrative Directive in Texas, inmate marriages were not allowed unless they were performed by Proxy. The Administrative Directive changed all of that. 

Proxy Marriage is no longer allowed in Texas Prisons. Proxy Marriage is also highly controversial to such an extent that many states no longer allow it. 

In the United States, proxy marriages are provided for in law or by customary practice in Texas, Colorado, Kansas, and Montana Of these, Montana is the only state that allows double-proxy marriage. Proxy marriages cannot be solemnized in any other U.S. states.

On July 28, 2015, the TDCJ revised Administrative Directive AD-03.42, concerning prisoner marriages. Under the revised policy, prison officials “shall permit offenders to be married on TDCJ property or contracted facilities.” Each prison “shall provide two non-visitation workdays per month for offenders to be married in the visitation area of the offender’s assigned unit.” Marriages between two prisoners are not permitted, ceremonies can not be held in prison chapels, nor can a non-incarcerated spouse bring in a wedding ring to give to the prisoner they are marrying. 

Offenders who are eligible for contact visits shall be allowed to hold hands during the ceremony and can share “a brief embrace and kiss at the end of the process.”

Administrative Directive AD-03.42 made inmate Proxy Marriage a thing of the past. For two years, I’ve been officiating Prison Weddings. Long before that though, I officiated County Jail Weddings. 

I’m not interested in why an inmate is in custody since it’s the first question anyone who realizes that I Officiate inmate weddings ask me. It’s not for me or anyone else to judge. 

There are differences when it comes to a County Jail or Prison Wedding Ceremony. The main difference being that only a TDCJ Approved Officiant is authorized to conduct the ceremony. 

County Jails have no such limitations. The only requirement for a County Jail Wedding is that the Officiant be authorized to conduct a marriage ceremony.

Prison Wedding Planning is a process. There is paperwork to be filed and the Prison Unit must give permission for couples to marry. 

County Jails and prisons both have dress codes in force to visitors. Be aware of this. You CANNOT “wear whatever you want” to an inmate wedding whether it’s in a County Jail, State Prison or Federal Prison. 

If an inmate is behind glass, they can hear and understand the ceremony. Depending on the level of custody, certain inmates may be restricted to their cells. Let’s look at custody levels. 

S1 (Often called Trustee one or Stat one)

S2 (Often called Trustee two or Stat two)

S3 (Often called Trustee three or Stat three)

S4 (Often called Trustee four or Stat four)

There are only a handful of S1’s in all of TDCJ. For most prisoners S2 is as high as they will go. For some crimes (homicides in particular) S3 is as high as the prisoner can go. 

Generally, unit disciplinary cases are the cause of a prisoner dropping in class. Prisoners generally rise in class levels by serving their time case free. How often and how many class levels a prisoners rises is a decision made by unit authorities. As a rule of thumb a prisoner usually rises one or two classes at a time and reclassifications occur between every six months and every year.

Prisoners have to reach the line class they entered into the TDCJ system as in order to become eligible for parole again. So if the prisoner entered as a Trusty IV and unit disciplinary case brought him down to a Line III, he will have to continue to have good disciplinary till he reclasses to a Trusty IV. 

G1 General Population Level 1 (Previously Minimum-Out)
G2 General Population Level 2 (Previously Minimum-In)

G3 General Population Level 3 (If offender has a sentence of 50 years or greater, 3G must serve 10 flat and non 3G must serve 5 flat, to move to a less restrictive custody; job and housing assignments will be restricted.)

G4 General Population Level 4 (Previously Medium)

G5 General Population Level 5 (Previously Close-Custody)

The G3 custody is what is being called the “new custody” and it is primarily utilized for those offenders with lengthy sentences who have not served a significant amount of time. 

An offender who is assigned to G3 custody will not be allowed to live in dormitories that are outside of the main building of a facility. They may not be assigned to jobs such as maintenance, back door worker, SSI, any clerk position, or any job where the offender would have access to multiple areas of the facility. This custody will retain the same privileges as a G2 offender (currently MI). 

The guidelines are as follows:
50 year 3G (murder, capital murder, indecency with a child, aggravated kidnapping sexual assault, aggravated sexual assault, aggravated robbery, health and safety code, chapter 481.134 (d), (d) and (f), and any offense with affirmative findings for use of a deadly weapon) will be required to serve 10 flat years before they are eligible to promote to a custody less restrictive than G3.

50 year non 3G offenses will be required to serve 5 flat years before they are eligible to promote to a custody level less restrictive than G3.

II. UNIT CLASSIFICATION
A. Custody Levels On the unit of assignment, an offender is given a custody designation which indicates several things. It tells where and with whom he can live, how much supervision he will need, and what job he can be assigned to.

An offender’s custody level depends on his current institutional behavior, his previous institutional behavior, and his current offense and sentence length. 

If he (or she) violates rules, he (or she) will be placed in a more restrictive custody. If he (or she) complies with the rules, he (or she) will be assigned a less restrictive custody level.

Institutional Offender Custody Levels:

1. Administrative Segregation

2. General Population Level 5 (G5) 

3. General Population Level 4 (G4) 

4. General Population Level 3 (G3) 

5. General Population Level 2 (G2) 

6. General Population Level 1 (G1)

State Jail Offender Custody Levels:

1. Special Management 

2. General Population Level 5 (J5) 

3. General Population Level 4 (J4) 

4. General Population Level 2 (J2) 

5. General Population Level 1 (J1) Administrative Segregation or Special Management refers to offenders who must be separated from the general population because they are dangerous, either to other offenders or staff, or they are in danger from other offenders. 

Additionally, offenders who, according to the SCC, are members of security threat groups designated by TDCJ may be given this custody level. 

These offenders leave their cells, for the most part, only for showers and limited recreation. (Offenders assigned to Administrative Segregation in expansion cellblocks shower in their cells.) 

General Population Level 5 (G5) or (J5) custody refers to offenders who have assaultive or aggressive disciplinary records. 

G5 or J5 custody offenders must live in cells. They may not work outside the security fence without direct, armed supervision.

General Population Level 4 (G4) or (J4) custody means the offender must live in a cell, with few exceptions, and may work outside the security fence under direct armed supervision. J4 State Jail offenders may be housed in designated dorms. 

General Population Level 3 (G3) refers to Institutional offenders who may live in dorms or cells inside the main building of the unit. 

G3 offenders are ineligible to live in dorms outside the main building of a unit, inside the security fence. 

G3 offenders will be generally assigned to field force and secure jobs inside the perimeter as designated by the Warden. They may work outside the security fence under direct armed supervision. (State Jail offenders are not assigned to level 3 custody.) 

General Population Level 2 (G2) or (J2) custody refers to offenders who may live in dorms or cells inside the security fence. They may work outside the security fence under direct armed supervision.

General Population Level 1 (G1) or (J1) custody allows offenders to live in dorms outside the security fence. They may work outside the security fence with periodic unarmed supervision.

Note: Offenders in all of the above general population custody levels may also be given a safekeeping status if they need an added level of protection from other offenders.

Since I’ve been asked about being in 2 locations on the same day, there are limits in my ability to get from one Unit to the next based on distance. I cannot be in Childress and Allred on the same day. I can be at Michael, Beto or Coffield on the same day. Why? Because Tennessee Colony like Huntsville or Gatesville has numerous Units. 

If I’m within 30 minutes to an hour of a Unit, it’s possible to be at two Units within a certain distance on the same day. 

Normally a “stacked” day for me involves 1 to up to 8 clients at the same Unit. Moving from one Unit to the next can be stressful as I have no idea how long we will be “inside” making calculating my timeline difficult if not impossible.

Because of this, I limit new clients for Prison Weddings every month to ensure my availability. 

Like anyone else I’ve talked to, I’m against video visitation. The personal element is removed entirely with video. Several county Jails also remove the ability to visit in person entirely when installing video cameras. 

Families of loved ones can and do video chats from anywhere for a fee but, is it worth it? I don’t think so but, I’m adding a link for those unaware of video visitation to enlighten you– Video Visitation. What is it and how does it work?

For clients marrying an inmate, an Absentee Affidavit and notarized ID are necessary to purchase the marriage license. There cannot be any corrections on either document. 

If you’re planning to get married, there is one thing you can’t forget: the marriage license AND an Officiant. You can’t get legally “hitched” without a marriage license. A marriage license is sort of a permit, kind of like a driver’s license. It says that you are legally allowed to marry, although obtaining one does not mean that you are married. 

Marriage licenses are not free OR provided by the Officiant. The couple must purchase a marriage license at the Clerks office. 

You still must tie the knot before someone with the power to marry people legally, with the license at hand. The rules and requirements for getting a marriage license vary from state to state and from country to country. 

To make sure that you have all your ducks in a row, contact your city, county, or town clerk’s office which will direct you to the pertinent information. Many cities and counties have websites with marriage license requirements spelled out, and you often can fill out the application online and pay fees with a credit card. That said, there are certain basic pieces of information that you will need no matter where you apply for a marriage license. 

Timeframe: Find out if there is a waiting period and for how long marriage licenses are valid. You’ll likely need to apply during the week or two before your ceremony. What documents you’ll need: Some states require birth certificates, proof of citizenship and/or residence; virtually all states require a driver’s license or another type of photo ID. 

If you have been widowed or divorced, you should also have a copy of the death certificate or divorce decree. Fees and how to pay them: If there is a fee, you might need to pay it with a money order, cashier’s check, or cash. You also might be able to pay with a credit card, depending on the state. 

Blood tests: Although this requirement is no longer widespread, some states still require blood tests. 

If you are planning a destination wedding or getting married in a state other than where you live, you’ll also need to find out about residency requirements, if any. This includes how long you must be in the county before you can apply or any other rules at the location you’ve chosen for your ceremony. 

The bride and groom take identification, any necessary paperwork, fees, and sometimes blood test results to the county clerk in the jurisdiction where the ceremony will take place to apply for a marriage license. 

The marriage license is either mailed to or picked up by the bride and groom. There is sometimes a waiting period, depending on your state. You are married by someone legally allowed to do so in your state. 

The person who performs the ceremony, two witnesses (if required), and sometimes the bride and groom sign the marriage license. 

The marriage license is returned to the county clerk’s office by the person who performs the ceremony or, the couple if they choose to file the signed license in person. 

About a week later, copies of the certified marriage certificate can be purchased from the clerk’s office.

Marriage is a process whether you are marrying an inmate or not. Please be aware of timelines pertaining to the marriage license. There is a shelf life. If your marriage liscense expires, you will need to purchase a new one. 

If your Absentee Affidavit expires or contains corrections, you will need a new one as well. 

I hope this clarifies Proxy Marriage and explains why the Administrative Directive changed Prison Proxy Marriage or any confusion regarding video or internet ceremonies and why both parties must be present if I’m officiating your ceremony. 

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People Who Shine From Within Don’t Need A Spotlight-

Last night my Ferguson Unit Bride sent me a text. I was saddened to hear that she was planning to cancel her wedding scheduled for January 16th @1PM due to financial difficulties. Alarmed, I called her. She was crying and I told her to calm down that I wasn’t going to cancel. 

This decision is one that most likely no one else would make but, what makes me different also makes me far more sought after. I advised my Bride that she could pay out the balance and send a small deposit instead. 

Ferguson Unit is about three hours one way from Fort Worth. My last visit to Ferguson was a bit of a surprise because it was the first time that the inmate was behind glass. I wasn’t expecting this and after walking into the visitation area with my Client, felt saddened that my Bride wouldn’t be able to kiss her Groom.

Apparently, my Client wasn’t nearly as bothered by the glass as I was and she loved the photo of them together that merged their faces. Since I’ve been asked if inmates can hear and understand the ceremony, the answer is yes. 

Occasionally, there is a phone that my client and I take turns talking into but usually, there’s a small opening under the glass. Leaving Ferguson Unit, I was grappling with the glass in my mind and wishing my client could have held hands or even hugged her new husband but, my Client wasn’t upset by the glass. It was only I who felt sad about the circumstances.

My niece, Leigh Ann was waiting for me in the parking lot and asked “what’s wrong?” I told her that the glass had scared me initially as to whether the inmate could understand the ceremony and secondly I was hoping my bride could at least “seal the deal with a kiss.” 

A few miles away from the Unit, we pulled over and began unloading many of the items I had packed for our “rolling photo booth.” 

Although my heart was heavy about the glass, it wasn’t at all weighing heavily on my client who had a great time with us and was thrilled to finally be married. 

I have learned to put my own feelings aside for weddings that take place in less than celebratory locations from a prison or even a hospital death bed. 

Years ago, someone contacted me who wasn’t expected to live. They wanted to marry their partner from the confines of a hospital bed in order to leave their worldly possessions to them via marriage. 

I’ve also given Last Rites at area hospitals for many years. Most people requesting Last Rites were often not religious throughout their life. However, I’ve learned that when near death, religious preferences change dramatically. I don’t judge anyone. In fact, I believe that it’s better to find faith late than it is to never find it.

For over an hour, my joyous client continued to text me. She couldn’t believe that I would make an exception. But, I don’t “have” to work. I haven’t in many years. I trust my clients. We’ve built a relationship together. I know that my client will make good on her promise and I could hear how devastated she was about the change of her financial situation in her voice. I’m “everyone’s mother” on a regular basis. 

Walking into a Prison with a nervous client, they know that I will be with them every step of the way. They are all nervous. They never expected to be marrying at a Texas Prison either. Who would? 

For the first year of Texas Prison Weddings, I felt more comfortable knowing “that I wouldn’t be alone.” I felt more comfortable knowing my client “knew the ropes.” The situation has changed now and I’m no longer intimidated by slamming steel doors behind me or razor wire glistening in the Texas sun. 

My clients know the Unit and are familiar with the screening process. I was never alone and this helped ease my wild imagination regarding what to expect more than anyone realized.

When I agreed to undergo the screening process for Misty two years ago, I was perhaps far more nervous about walking into a prison than Misty realized. The only Prisons I had ever seen were from Texas highways or on television. 

I had actually met Misty before undergoing the process and again before the wedding for her bridal photo shoot. Back then, Estes didn’t allow photos at weddings. They now do. By divine intervention perhaps, Estes Unit was a minimum security prison. Driving in, I wondered where the guards were? The dogs? The razor wire? Who was keeping everyone in or out? But, my relief at what wasn’t what I had expected would “turn” less than a week later at TDCJ Michael Unit.

At Estes, we were cleared and escorted to the visitation area. Most Units have beautifully painted walls that provide a backdrop. Estes did. The steel door slamming behind did cause me to jump a bit but, I didn’t have a heart attack or panic that we wouldn’t be able to leave. 

Misty calmed me significantly without even realizing it. I was inside my very first prison. I wasn’t hyperventilating and I wasn’t worried about a riot. These thoughts had kept me awake for days prior to my first Prison wedding. My thoughts and fears were unfounded. 

I also realized that Prison Weddings were scheduled during the week because the ceremony generally takes place in the visitation area. The visitation area is used on weekends and therefore unavailable. 

At the time I agreed to help Misty and become a TDCJ Approved Officiant, all of my events or bookings were on weekends or evenings making Prison Weddings “a perfect fit” for my schedule. Shocking right? I couldn’t believe it myself. 

Prison weddings were so easy to squeeze into my schedule that I decided to expand Texas Twins Events to include Texas Prison Weddings. Two years later, I do far more Prison Weddings than any other event booking. Prior to Prison Weddings, half of my Client base was LBGT. 

I’m somewhat infamous for being LBGT friendly from the start of Texas Twins Events. Since I’m always asked, yes I also perform LBGT Prison Weddings. 

Did I know two years ago that Prison Weddings would occupy up to 85 percent of new bookings? No. Who would? I had no idea how many people wanted to marry an inmate. But, between my bookings at venues and existing client bases for Texas Twins Events and The Pawning Planners, Texas Prison Wedding bookings would add a completely different dimension to my Client base. 

A few days after officiating Misty’s wedding ceremony at Estes Unit, I was driving to Tennessee Colony, Texas. Tennessee Colony is a city of Prisons.I was shocked by this and the sign rolling into town that listed all of the Units in a small country town with only one convenience store. The store was unlike any I’ve ever been to. There was a barber shop. There was a cleaners. There was a grill. There was also plumbing supplies being sold next to milk and eggs. 

The General store was a surprising pit stop for not only me but also my twin sister who was going to wait for me while shopping at this out of the way country store. 

I had expected Michael Unit to be just like Estes Unit with a nice parking lot and couldn’t have been more shocked driving into the Unit by the remarkable differences between Estes and Michael. 

TDCJ Michael Unit had a guard shack. Michael Unit also had razor wire and everything that I had expected Estes to have. Yes, I was at a maximum security unit. The variations between minimum and maximum are significant. My fear of a riot or being locked in returned tenfold. 

Trying to control my breathing, I was SO THANKFUL that Trishelle had offered to let me ride to the unit with her there are no words to express my relief. The glistening razor wire in the Texas sun was blinding. I actually held Trishelle’a hand to steady my frazzled nerves. Wobbly legs aside, Trishelle was comfortable about walking me into my first maximum security unit. 

Michael Unit was similar to the Prisons I had seen on TV. It was intimidating to say the least. Since then, I’ve been in many maximum security units including Death Row Prisons. I’ve overcome my claustrophobia and I’ve learned that I’m safer in a Prison than anywhere else. 

Trishelle had dropped her mother and friends with Cindy to wait for us while inside the Unit. I was so thankful that I wasn’t alone removing my shoes and blazer that I didn’t lose my balance and trip or start hyperventilating you have no idea.

Trishelle was comfortable and not at all intimidated. Walking into the visitation area with vending machine trash surrounding us, I couldn’t “get over” where the ceremony would be taking place. I asked to move the trash around our feet away from the couple before proceeding with the ceremony. The trash bothered me. 

Riding back to the General store, I was relieved to be leaving the first maximum security unit I had ever been inside. I was thankful that I didn’t walk in alone. I managed to keep my composure and put my fear at bay. I had done it! Thank God for Trishelle. 

My relief at getting through my first maximum security unit wedding ceremony was behind me as Trishelle and her group jumped in for fun wedding photos. My mini photo sessions are a celebration for clients. 

I’ve created an extensive inventory of wedding dresses, bouquets, boutenniers and other items that my clients love to borrow. 

What made me different made me successful. Having an identical twin and partner, we look forward to more road trips and rest areas. 

Cindy and I have met some pretty amazing people and along the way, we have also learned that working together was the best decision we could have ever made…

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Fort Worth To TDCJ Allred Unit To Winstar Casino To Bell Tower Chapel- Two Weddings & A Rehearsal…

Planning my schedule takes a certain amount of flexibility. Why? Because traffic, Client calls and other things factor heavily into my ability to bounce from one location to the next. 

Due to my existing schedule, a wedding ceremony on Christmas Eve wasn’t possible since I’m already booked for a Vow Renewal and Baptism in two different cities Christmas Eve. 

To solve the scheduling problem on Christmas Eve, I checked the distance Allred Unit from Fort Worth then from the Unit to Winstar Casino and, as long as I left Wichita Falls by 2:30-3PM, knew I could arrive at Winstar by 4:30-5PM. 

I was due at a wedding rehearsal at 8PM in Fort Worth so, I double checked the distance from Winstar to Bell Tower. The drive time and traffic play a huge part in my planning process. 

When you spend as much time traveling as I do with Cindy, it’s best to overestimate the commute when a Client is waiting on you. I’m always early because I don’t want to be late. 

My days and hours are far from 9-5 although TDCJ Weddings occur Monday through Friday from 9-5. Why? Travel time is a large consideration. Texas is a large state. 

Secondly, the amount of time spent inside a Unit can be “up in the air.” There isn’t a definite timeline of the Unit locating an inmate or the ceremony starting on time. 

A number of things can cause a delay once arriving at the Unit. Please be patient. 

I normally estimate up to 2 hours once inside a TDCJ Unit although I was once waiting with my Client at Stiles Unit nearly 3 hours for her ceremony. 

Since Stiles Unit was 5+ hours from Fort Worth, the additional time inside the Unit along with my travel home a FULL DAY. 

If your Unit is 3.5 hours one way, I do not schedule other Events on the same day unless of course, they are at the same Unit. 

It’s not unusual for me to Officiate 3 and even up to 8 weddings at a Texas Prison on the same day. The reason for this is travel time and the Unit working with me to “stack my Clients” at the same location.

My schedule is normally stacked whenever possible to accommodate my Clients. Since I’m also on staff at other venues including Bell Tower Chapel, flexibility is a requirement in order to address new Clients as well as existing bookings. 

It’s well known that I have a full staff and only I am TDCJ Approved to Officiate Texas Prison Weddings. My other Officiants and photographers on staff address traditional bookings as well as County Jail Wedding requests. 

The continued issues regarding clothing or attire have become so distressing to my Clients that I’m going to once again go over why it’s best to overdress rather than underdress to your Unit Wedding. 

During the Prison Wedding Planning Process, I often ask what you plan to wear in order to alleviate any issues. 

Let’s go over what you CAN or CANNOT wear to your Texas Prison Wedding as the SAME dress code applies to Prison Weddings as Visitation Guidelines: 

Offender Visitation Dress Code

Visitors are encouraged to dress conservatively.
Sandals, flip-flops, and open-toe shoes may be worn.

Clothing that is tight fitting, revealing, or made with see-through fabrics shall not be allowed.

Sleeveless shirts and dresses are allowed, but must cover the shoulders.

Shorts and skirts no shorter than three inches above the middle of the knee while standing, capri pants, or long pants are allowed.

Length is not restricted for pre-adolescent boys and girls, generally ages 10 and younger.

Clothing with pictures or language that may be considered profane or offensive by current public standards shall not be allowed.

Note: The duty warden shall make the final decision on whether clothing is appropriate.

It’s essential to understand the guidelines of marrying at a Texas Prison because unlike a “wedding on the outside,” the Client isn’t in control. The Prison Unit is. 

Today, I’d like to go over why my Client and I were left waiting for hours at Stiles Unit and why if you are asked to wear a cafeteria smock, it’s upsetting and occasionally embarrassing due to your clothing or attire being deemed “inappropriate.” 

I’ve had several questions regarding the similarities between the Stiles and Estes dresses. “Why did Stiles have to wear a smock and why were her photos taken without it?” Or, “I saw one of your other brides wearing a dress that wasn’t in the code. How did she wear that when I couldn’t to the Unit?” Or, “Your Prison Wedding at Michael had friends in her photos. Why can’t I bring friends to my wedding?” 

First off- bridal or groom photography can and does include guests. Prison Weddings DO NOT allow guests. Guests can wait while we are inside the Unit and join you in bridal photos. You can also wear whatever you want or change clothes for your photo shoot with me. 

Unless a photo is of my Client and I INSIDE A UNIT, clothing, guests, flowers and other items are taken outside the Unit. I offer complimentary photograohy as a courtesy to Clients and their friends or family. I also bring a wide array of photo booth items as well as bouquets, boutenierres and other items to pull photo shoots together. 

If Clients wish to bring friends or family or additional items or even a change of clothes to photo shoots, I also encourage them to do so. 

The Stiles dress was covered walking to the visitation area with a cafeteria smock. Only once inside was my Bride allowed to remove the smock. 

In her wedding photos, you can see she had been crying. Nothing is more upsetting to my Clients than being handed a cafeteria smock to wear walking into the Unit. 

It’s deeply disturbing and upsetting for my clients who wanted to look beautiful and certainly didn’t anticipate being to be required to wear a cafeteria smock to overdress rather than underdress.

Because of this occurring more than once, we will once again revisit Prison Wedding attire. I will always be wearing a suit. I wear flats or sandals based on the season or weather. I wear easy to remove shoes intentionally as our feet and hands will be screened. 

I can assist you in taking off your shoes prior to screening in. I cannot assist you in putting your shoes back on once we are screened. There may or may not be an area for you to sit and put your shoes back on. Please be aware of this. Putting shoes back on while standing on one foot is tricky. You may be forced to lean against a wall if there isn’t a bench or chair. 

The Estes bride borrowed one of my jackets and was able to marry in her dress covered by my jacket. First, we will look at her Unit photo in my suit jacket.Now, let’s look at her bridal photos taken by me at Botanic Garden. My Bride had arrived in Fort Worth at the Greyhound bus station. I had picked her up and drove her to my home to change clothes. 

Upon seeing her dress, I suggested bringing one of my jackets as I wearily realized the Unit (most likely) wouldn’t allow her dress. Below is a photo of the dress that is low cut and also above the knee. 

This dress on its own would never have been deemed appropriate. Rather than upset my Client, I loaned her clothes to “cover up.” My Stiles Unit bride arrived in a white form fitting dress. Although it was full length, the bodice was low cut and the dress was deemed “too sheer.” 

I had asked if she could remove the smock for her wedding photos and the Warden allowed this only once inside a private area. Look at her eyes. 

Walking all the way into the Unit wearing a cafeteria smock, my heart broke at what was supposed to be a joyous day for her turning into a “walk of shame” in that smock. Leaving the Unit, I had found a park for her bridal photos. The smock left behind at Stiles and the stress behind her, my Bride was relieved and once again, happy. 

Bridal photos give my Clients an opportunity to have fun and leave the stress and occasionally, the embarrassment of wearing a smock behind them. You can wear whatever you want to your bridal or groom photo shoot. 

You CANNOT wear whatever you want to your Prison Wedding. I don’t make the rules. TDCJ does and, it’s at THEIR discretion if your attire is appropriate. Please be aware of this. It’s essential to your wedding being pleasant and worry free. My Stiles bride was also busty and the clingy fabric of her form fitting dress which was also sheer was the main issue with the Warden. Although she was wearing a slip from the waist down, had she been wearing a cami or tank under the dress to cover cleavage, it still might have been too revealing based on the tight fit. 

In this type of situation, wearing a jacket, shawl, or even a sweater over the top part of the dress might have alleviated the need to wear a smock walking into the Unit. Michael Unit does not allow dresses. My Michael Unit Brides wear jeans. Trishelle wore jeans to her wedding and then changed afterwards before joining her friends in her photo shoot. I’m adding the Unit photo below. Leaving the Unit, Trishelle and I drove to Tennessee Colony store for her to change clothes and meet up with her mother, sister and best friends.If the offender is behind glass, you cannot touch or hold hands. At Ferguson Unit, my Bride wore a dress but, the dress covered her shoulders. We had NO issues regarding cleavage because while standing, no cleavage was visible. 

Your skirt or dress length should be at your knees or within one inch. It’s “tricky.” Once the wedding ceremony was finished, my beautiful bride and I found an area near the Unit for her bridal photos. Photos cannot be taken on TDCJ Property. 

At Luther Unit, my bride wore a dress that covered her shoulders and hit at the knee. There weren’t any issues because she strictly adhered to the TDCJ visitation dress code. I’m usually wearing ankle length or floor length slacks. I’m always wearing a jacket and occasionally, a scarf. I’m busty and if any cleavage is showing, I cover it up with a scarf as I did at Hodge Unit. Last February, my beautiful bride had an amazing wedding dress but, had to wear a coat over it. After leaving Allred Unit, we found an area for fun photos in her wedding dress.Although she had a jacket that matched the wedding dress, the dress was sleeveless. Texas Department Of Criminal Justice dress code REQUIRES the shoulders be covered during visitation. Prison Wedding ceremonies follow stringent guidelines. No spaghetti straps or strapless dresses are allowed. Please be aware of this.

Yesterday, at TDCJ Allred Unit, my Bride had previously sent me a photo of the dress she planned to wear. I’m attaching it for your review. The model has cleavage showing but, the dress could be pinned. 

The length of the dress appeared within the guidelines but, the slit in the front came up a little higher on my Client.

Brandy looked beautiful coming downstairs and I quickly eyed her dress. There wasn’t any cleavage showing and the back of the dress hit below her knees. Because of this, I believed we were fine. But, the Unit has the final call on attire. Not I or my Client. 

Brandy and her best friend had as much fun at their hotel photo shoot as I did. We were planning a great day filled with fun and promise but, once at the Unit, things would change.I had dropped Brandy’s friend to shop while we headed on to Allred Unit. Because the wedding was scheduled for 1PM, we arrived at 12:30PM and checked in with Chaplain Lawler. 

Brandy and her beau had both written their vows. My couple had put a lot of thought into their ceremony but, within minutes, a day that Brandy had looked forward to would be altered.

The assistant Warden strongly advised us both that Brandy’s dress was “unacceptable.” Because of this, I ran to my SUV to grab a scarf and pins to cover the bottom portion of her dress. 

Moments later, the assistant Warden told Brandy that she couldn’t marry in the dress at all. The only option was to wear the smock. Nothing causes me more stress than to see a Client crying because they must wear a smock to their ceremony. 

Because of this, I’m ONCE AGAIN warning my Clients that the possibility of having to wear a smock exists and if the dress length is deemed too short, warning you of the stress of wearing a smock to your ceremony will bring.

It’s better to err on the side of caution regarding clothing or, to bring a change of clothes to your Unit Wedding. Brandy had a change of clothes but, they were in her car back at the hotel. I wish we had brought them with us in my SUV but, hindsight is 20/20. 

I want your wedding to be seamless and worry free. I want your experience to be pleasant and I care about you and your feelings. 

Having a Client walking in with me upset about what they are wearing is so sad to me that I’m writing this blog in the hopes of preventing a similar circumstance happening to someone else…