Love Is An Action Not An Idea. TDCJ Goree Unit to Gib Lewis To Jordan Unit. Travels Of A Prison Wedding Officiant…

Monday was a mess due entirely to dealing with my niece, Stephaney. Worrying about my niece is a full time job and the primary cause of all the stress in my life. 

For my twin sister, the stress of her daughter and her consistent shenanigans has caused not only stress but also high blood pressure and hypertension. 

I wouldn’t realize until Friday that the stress my niece brings to our lives would affect my sister to such an extent that she is currently awaiting heart surgery at Harris Methodist Hospital. 

We had a very full week and Monday as well as Tuesday had Cindy and I slammed busy dealing with her daughter Stephaney AGAIN. Stephaney would ruin both days for our schedules (as usual) and by Wednesday I was driving to several cities with Cindy complaining of chest pain yet refusing to go to the ER. Watching my sister pop nitro pills like candy my fear mounted day after day this week. The nitro wasn’t helping. 

Friday morning at 10:30AM, we had a Skype conference with the BBC and ITV. I suggested a reschedule. Cindy wouldn’t even consider a reschedule. “We have never rescheduled in our lives and this won’t take 20-40 minutes.” The call took over 2 hours. With incredible chest pain, my twin sister laughed her way through those 2 hours with the determination of a skilled actor. No one knew she was in extreme pain. Cindy and I have work ethics that surprise everyone. 

In Los Angeles, I walked into a pitch meeting with my production company with a broken foot. I had tripped getting to my rental and knew it was broke when I heard the snap. Cindy looked and me and said “we have an hour to be on here and then we will run to the hospital. Suck it up and smile buddy.” I did. No one knew my swelling foot was bothering me. A pitch meeting lasting two hours as opposed to the twenty minutes our production company expected left me limping out of Lifetime. The ER cut my shoe off hours later. Cindy and I both have a high pain tolerance so when my sister complains about pain know she is in pain.

Friday after the Skype call, we went immediately to the hospital. An hour later, Cindy was admitted to the hospital. Cindy’s EKG was normal but her enzymes high. More tests were ordered. Her heart surgery is scheduled Monday morning. 

Life with an addict in it causes more stress than people realize. You never stop wondering if the next phone call is more bad news when you have a loved one with a drug problem. Late night phone calls scare Cindy and I both.

Tuesday, Stephaney had walked away from the very same bus that Cindy and I had put her on from Dallas to Muskogee at 6:30AM. A bus that should have gotten a break from Stephaney that didn’t. 

Within 2.5 hours though, Stephaney would yet again upset our schedules and our lives with her consistent ability to focus all of our attention on her needs. Her emergencies and how nothing is ever her fault. Sigh. 

By Tuesday afternoon, after yet another “Stephaney situation” phone call of her claiming the bus had left her at a McDonalds in Oklahoma, Cindy and I were forced to drive several hours to Oklahoma then go find Stephaney and drive her to the to Oklahoma treatment center ourselves. Naturally, the treatment facility for severL hours from where Stephaney has left the bus and decided to relax while we drive to find her before she wandered off yet again.

My life has never been easy. Cindy’s hasn’t either. The number of times I’ve prayed, screamed and begged my niece to straighten up would astound you. 

Consistently trying to force Stephaney to choose her family rather than drugs is a twisted merry go round of torture for the few people who still care about my niece. Who are those few people? My sister and I. Everyone else has given up. 

By midnight Tuesday after hours of driving through Oklahoma, Cindy and I finally rolled into my driveway thankful that we didn’t have to worry about yet another phone call from Stephaney for at least  a few hours and get some sleep.

Stephaney is going to find her usual complaints of course as she always does. If we can keep her in this program, it’s worth the money to get 6 months of peace in Texas with Stephaney in Oklahoma. 

I still kick myself everyday for keeping my niece out of prison five years ago in Oklahoma. Maybe if I had let do hard time I could have spared Cindy and I as well as her twin daughters the past three years? Maybe if I hadn’t believed her when she said she would never do drugs again in Oklahoma and convinced me into getting her a plea deal and paying court ordered rehab she might have a life and a future right now after doing a few years in prison?  I can assure you that I won’t try to save Stephaney from prison by throwing thousands of dollars to defend her again. 

Having Stephaney where we know she can’t find drugs is and has been the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to accomplish. I understand now why people give up on addicts. It’s taken me years but I understand why people just give up. They just can’t take it anymore. Who can blame them? Addicts pull you in every direction mentally, physically, emotionally and financially. How did our mothers mother manage our heroin addicted mother? I will never know. I do know that grandma Tinney survived our mothers addiction forty years. I do know that my grandmother died far too young. Stress kills you.

Wednesday morning after getting approximately 2 hours of sleep, Cindy and I headed to Huntsville. We were exhausted from dealing with Cindy’s daughter, Stephaney Monday and Tuesday. 

Stephaney and her antics consistently rob of us of any degree of joy. Work is our salvation. Our escape. Our reward. We shake off our stress of Stephaney and focus on our clients instead. 

The pain and loss of having an addict in your family will never be understood by others unless of course they’ve been pulled through the dust storm of their loved ones choices themselves. 

The worry, frustration and anger don’t go away. Years later, Stephaney and her choices have also affected her twin daughters, Maryssa and Makenna (like Cindy and I) will never understand why drugs were more important to their mom than they themselves were. 

Cindy and I will never understand or accept our mother’s choices either. We can’t. I hate addiction and what family members addiction issues has brought to our lives. I hate that my twin sisters health has been affected by trying over and over to rehabilitate Stephaney. I hate that my own efforts have failed too. Addicts shouldn’t be allowed to have children.

Getting Stephaney into treatment in Oklahoma after she walked out of treatment in Fort Worth was as stressful as you might imagine. In Dallas, a man was lying in the street near the bus station. I didn’t know if he was dead or alive. It was 3AM in the morning. I told Cindy “call 911.” Stephaney said “who cares about him? I only care about my family.” 

As usual, I lost my composure at this ridiculously stupid statement. “Your mom is having chest pains. Your children won’t talk to you. Your sister wants nothing to do with you. Our husbands are sick of watching us try to save you. A man is lying in the street and you don’t care? Jesus, Stephaney, I wish you could find compassion, understanding or comprehension regarding why we are in Dallas at 3AM in the morning hellbent on getting you to Oklahoma. I have at least 10-12 hours of driving twice this week. For God’s sakes get on this bus and get your shit together. We NEED a break from you. You are killing our family. Do not get off that bus until Muskogee. I do not want another phone call from you until you are back in treatment. The counselors will meet you at the station.” 

Stephaney (as usual) would find a way to screw up our Tuesday. Wednesday we were on a twofer unit day from Goree to Lewis and Thursday I had two brides at Jordan Unit in Pampas, Texas. It would be another week of driving 1500-2000 miles for me this week. 

Arriving at TDCJ Goree Unit, the chaplain met me in the parking lot. There was a CLM issue and my clients wedding would need to be rescheduled. Not surprisingly, she would be devastated. The chaplain and I walked to her car together leaving my sister in my suv. Genekia had her sister with her in her suv. I spoke with her and tried to assure her that we would work through this issue together with the inmate and the law library. 

The warden and chaplain returned to Genekia’s car and the warden granted her a contact visit. This is rare and remarkable. For Genekia it was also a gift of generosity. 

You will hear me say this often because it’s true “prison weddings are rainbows in the dark.” More importantly, without the assistance of TDCJ personnel there would be far more hurdles to overcome as Goree had moved Genekia to 10AM and Gib Lewis had moved my other client to 2PM in order to accommodate my drive time between Units.

After a 15 minute contact visit, the chaplain escorted Genekia and I back to the gate. Because she had her sister with her and was dressed for wedding day, I suggested leaving the Unit and taking a few photos nearby before heading on to Lewis Unit.While on the side of the road unloading my inventory, a car stopped with a couple who offered to allow us to use their home for photos. This WAS unusual. I followed them in my suv with Cindy while Genekia and her sister followed us. My timeline was tight but within range to get to Lewis Unit. 

The location was actually perfect. My bride and her sister loved the trees and pond and we captured a few fun pics before I thanked our new friend and drove on to Lewis Unit.Arriving at Gib Lewis Unit at 1:30PM, I sent a text to my 2PM client to let her know we were on site.

Gib Lewis Unit is located in a beautiful wooded area. My excited bride and I entered together.The couple had both written their own heartfelt and memorable vows. Leaving the Unit, I found an area for a few bridal photos.Headed back to Fort Worth, Cindy and I are equally tired now. Cindy’s in pain that she thinks is angina. I’m very concerned. My son is staying at Cindy’s house caring for Maryssa and Makenna. We are hours from home.

Thursday morning at 6AM, my son and I leave for a five hour and fifteen minute drive to Pampas to meet my 1 o’clock bride at her hotel and drive her to Jordan Unit.

It’s 39 degrees outside so we take photos in the hotel then check in with my 2PM bride as we head to the Unit.

All three of us walk in together. The Unit has stacked my clients closely together on the same day which is truly a gift due to my travel time to Jordan Unit. The warden was so nice and accommodating that he even moved my 2PM bride to 1:30 so we weren’t left waiting. 

I want to give a shout out to the wardens at Goree and Jordan as well as the Chaplain at Goree for their assistance this week. I cannot say enough good things about TDCJ staff and their amazing efforts to make prison weddings a reality for our clients. 

Leaving Jordan Unit, my son drove my bride and I while my other bride followed to a nearby restaurant where we celebrated over lunch with both of my clients before headed back to Fort Worth. 

TDCJ Jordan Unit Or Bust. Travels Of A Texas Twin. Prison Weddings With Wendy Wortham…

Months ago, Ashley had contacted me to marry her at Roach Unit. In July, we were finally on schedule. My client was uncomfortable driving in downtown Fort Worth. Her first visit to the clerks office, her grandfather drove her and I met her. 

Ashleys grandfather is an amazing man. He’s taken on caring for Ashley and her son as well as her cousin living under his roof while caring for his wife suffering with Alzheimer’s. I worry about the stress he has. Meeting him in person, he’s far more resilient than I had expected. A former Marine and retiree of Lockheed Martin, his wife is a retired schoolteacher. Ashley’s grandfather has a full plate. 

Sadly, for Ashley, the Absentee Affidavit had not been Notarized by the notary at the law library. Getting Ashley married wasn’t going to be easy but, I am not one to give up easily. 

From the clerks office and my first in person meeting with Ashley, I contacted the Unit. I also mailed a new Affidavit to the Unit and assured Ashley that I was going to get her a new Affidavit. Ashley left the courthouse crying and concerned. Ashley and I would stay in contact over the next few months on a wild ride of “following the groom.”

A few weeks later, Ashley called to tell me she had a new Affidavit and needed me to drive her back to the clerks office. I drove to Richland Hills and picked her up stopping for a quick lunch in Watauga. 

Once we were at the clerks office, another fiasco would ensue. I’m glad Ashley wasn’t alone at the clerks office that day “waiting for the next shoe to fall” on her wedding plans.

This time, the ID was invalid. I had Ashley call the law library to request the proper TDCJ form of Inmate ID only to learn that the inmate had been “put on a chain.” Glenn was no longer at Roach Unit and Ashley obviously wasn’t going to be marrying him 48 hours later. 

Devastated yet again and confused as to why getting married was becoming so difficult, Ashley had encountered setback after setback. 

A few weeks ago while at another Unit, Ashley sent me a photo of her marriage license. She had finally obtained it with the help from the law librarian at Jordan Unit. I contacted the Unit and scheduled her wedding for 1PM on 09-17-2019. Ashley asked if she could ride with me and we set up plans to leave my home office at 7AM yesterday. 

At 6AM, Ashley sent me a text “I know I’m early but I didn’t want to get lost. I’m a few blocks from your house.” I sent a text back that read “let’s leave early. Meet me in the driveway.” 

My navigation on google was (as usual) running me in circles. I’d never been to Jordan Unit so I had Ashley load the directions into her phone. Past Bridgeport and Allred Unit and even Roach Unit, I drove on. The drive to Jordan much like my drives to Garza Units, McConnell, Stiles, Darrington and other five hour plus one way jaunts can be exhausting. I spent easily 12-15 hours on the road.

Arriving at 12:30PM at Jordan, I checked in with my husband and grabbed Ashley’s marriage license. She was finally going to get married. The glass was a possibility wwe were both aware of but separation is up to the Warden and neither I or Ashley knew for sure if Glenn would be behind glass. 

I checked in with the wardens secretary and waited on a bench with Ashley. The visitation area was bustling with activity. We would wait an hour and a half for the room to finally be announced “clean” before clearing in and escorting into the area.

Jordan Unit has no machine walk through. It’s the only Texas Unit I’ve been inside that doesn’t. The warden advised us that the wedding would be behind glass which dissapointed my client.

Walking up to the phones, I noticed that Glenn had a black eye. I then noticed his infected finger and assumed it was a spider bite. Ashley noticed that Glenn had lost weight. Glenn cannot call Ashley due to a charge. Glenn suffers from seizures. But the black eye was due to his “roomie” punching him over a tattoo gun being found in their cell. Glenn went in as a G1. While in El Paso, Glenn had apparently taken a pill from another inmate for a headache at Sanchez Unit and caught a charge that moved his status from a G1 to a G4. At Jordan Unit, the tattoo gun netted Glenn the black eye and segregation. Glenn is 23 years old. Glenn is in prison for missing his check in on probation. 

Moving through the ceremony via two phones, Glenn and Ashley like anyone else had hoped for a contact visit. But, Prison Weddings follow protocol. 

Ashley and Glenn share a seven year old son. Ashley lives with her grandparents. Her grandfather had taken her son to school yesterday. We pose for photos. I pay for the photos. I borrow a pen to sign the license. I then give Ashley and Glenn a few moments to visit while waiting on the photos to print.Back in my suv, finding gas station near this Unit is a hurdle. Generally, finding a station near a Unit isn’t.

Jordan Unit is literally in the middle of nowhere. I finally locate a broken down gas station in dire need of fresh paint with farmers in overalls being the only customers. Relieved that I didn’t run out of gas, I also buy Ashley chips and a drink before heading to Fort Worth. 

Just outside of Childress, I see a building for a few bridal photos. I pull over and unload items for Ashley. She is thrilled the wedding is finally over. I am too.Ashley sleeps as I drive on several hours while taking calls for Smith, Wallace-Ware, Darrington, Stiles and Coffield. 

It’s 4:45AM when I began writing this blog. I worry about Glenn in segregation. I worry about Ashley, their son and their future together.

I’m in Huntsville today at numerous Units meeting numerous clients excited about getting married. I leave at 6AM to start my day…

Saying Yes To The Dress- Allred Unit To Tarrant County Jail…

Right up to wedding day with my Prison brides, I review options for clothing as clothing can be closely scrutinized at Prison Units. 

Yesterday’s adventure began in Wichita Falls as I rolled out of my driveway with my son and his wife joining me on a road trip to Allred Unit. Robert and Stephanie had the day off and I enjoy company while driving across Texas. 

My son and his wife are preparing to move into their first home in a few weeks and we spent the time driving going over details of what to keep and what to sell. I hate moving and know how chaotic moving can be. I bought my first home in my late 20’s not knowing the unexpected expenses that could occur. From hail storms to an A/C needing to be replaced, my first home was a money pit. I loved the fireplace but had no idea that the logs purchased at the grocery store would require chimney sweeping either. I learned a lot in my first home with the most important lesson being to put money back for the next unexpected surprise. Warily, I warned my son to plan for a rainy day because owning a home is an expensive endeavor. 

Dropping Robert and Stephanie off at Walmart some ten miles from Allred, I headed on to meet Flor. We both arrived at noon and waited patiently. Flor looked stunning in a beautiful white dress that I hoped wouldn’t be deemed “too tight” or “too sheer.” White is tricky at Prison Weddings. Attire for your unit wedding falls under the visitation dress code and although it’s your wedding day, Wardens have the final call on your clothing.

Thankfully, Flor had no issues with her gorgeous dress yesterday. Another bride was waiting on her Officiant. This normally wouldn’t be an issue but, as usual, “the other Officiant” was thirty minutes late which forced Flor, myself and the volunteer chaplain to wait on “the other Officiant.” I have no idea why “other Officiants” are always late but, they are. It’s unprofessional in my opinion and at Allred, everyone must wait to enter together. Flor was becoming nervous as was I since I needed to be back in Fort Worth at Tarrant County Jail to meet another client at 4:30PM.

After the “other Officiant” finally arrived, we lined up to walk into the Prison towards the visitation area. Normally, photography is offered and photos are sold for $3 each at Unit weddings. My last two visits to Allred though were without photos offered which upset both of my brides. I’m going to inquire about the photos and try to determine whether Unit Wedding Photos have been discarded altogether. If they have, I’m sorry for my clients as these photos are the only opportunity to have the couple in photos together.

Waiting on the Groom, Flor looked stunning and told me that the Grooms parents were planning a party for her back in Dallas. I was happy that Flor would be celebrating her wedding and had a strong support system in place.

Leaving Allred, I had Flor follow me to a road near the unit for impromptu photos. The rain had stopped but, the overcast sky affected the lighting. 

Flor and I had fun stopping traffic on the remote road to allure a few bridal photos to remember her day. I had packed my SUV with a variety of tiaras and bouquets to bring the fun and loved the way my fur stole accented Flor’s strappy sandals. Congratulating her with a hug, I jumped into my SUV to run and pick up Robert and Stephanie to head to Fort Worth. They had both enjoyed a mani/pedi and were looking forward to grabbing lunch.

My son drives to Wichita Falls frequently for Mr G’s and told me there was a gas station with a Steak & Shake outside of Decatur. The gas station had beef jerky and an assortment of other interesting items similar to a truck stop. I love truck stops because you never know what you will find. 

Answering emails for me, my son noted that an inquiry for Jordan Unit brought up two very different locations. Google listed Jordan Unit an hour from Fort Worth while TDCJ listed Jordan Unit over five hours away. Due to the confusion, I had my son confirm the unit address with Melissa. 

My fees are based on distance and a five hour one way drive with 1-2 hours inside the unit is a full day for me. Please include the actual address on unit inquiries to alleviate any confusion. PS- Congratulations Melissa. I look forward to meeting you soon. 

I’m back at Coffield and Estes Unit next week. My Estes bride is thrilled to be marrying on Valentines Day. Due to the holiday, I’m packing festive balloons for her photo shoot. This is unusual as I normally only bring props but, my bride is so happy about Valentines Day that I’ve decided to do something different. 

I’ve had a few questions regarding courthouse steps weddings and Vow Renewal Ceremonies. The location can be a park, Prison, courthouse steps, parking lot or just about any location for a wedding. A Vow Renewal is simply a “do over” of the wedding ceremony. Normally with friends and family present. 

Elopement packages offer intimate options for clients who aren’t planning a “big affair.” If you wish to do a private ceremony, I suggest the elopement package. We offer photography and a wide array of discount options for an Officiant/Photography Package to Firefighters, Active or Retired Military, Police, First Responders, Teachers, and LBGT Couples. 

While a few of you might question my LBGT Discount option, it should be noted that years ago when I started Texas Twins Events, the LBGT Community welcomed Texas Twins Events with open arms. 

Due to their loyalty, I’ve offered discounts on all services at all of my businesses to LBGT couples for nearly nine years now. I’m looking forward to meeting my latest TDCJ LBGT couple in May at their prison wedding and being a part of their happily ever after. 

I was recently asked by KTVT why my business “shifted” from traditional events to predominantly TDCJ Events or LBGT Events or a combination of both? The reason is I enjoy working with people who appreciate our help. Over the years, I’ve had more than one bridezilla and quite frankly, I no longer work with difficult people. Why? I don’t have to. The clients I choose are wonderful to not only me but also, my Texas Twins Events Team. 

While a minute amount of clients opt to barter through The Pawning Planners, it’s a very small percentage. The barter option exists in order to address a wide array of clients from nearly any any economic situation. 

Whether a client is barteting or booking directly through Texas Twins Events, creating another way to have a life event for families who wanted one took creativity on my part. I merged Texas Twins Treasures and Texas Twins Events to create The Pawning Planners. We don’t “only do weddings” either. We also do baptisms, funeral ceremonies, birthday parties, quincineras, and numerous other services including estate liquidation and home staging. I have a staff that includes four generations of my family members to address large or small events. 

Nearly all of my TDCJ Clients book Vow Renewal ceremonies upon release of their loved one from a Texas Prison. Their celebration of Love After LockUp is shared with family and friends. 

I’m headed to Luther Unit today and looking forward to “road tripping” with my twin sister, Cindy and searching for a few treasures at junk stores along our way. Finding time to spend with my family by creating a unique and diverse events business was and always will be one of the best business ideas I’ve ever had.