TDCJ Weddings- Work, Travel, Clients, Kids & Chaos…

Yesterday while in Palo Pinto County, a comment was posted on one of my Instagram posts. What was it about? The post and photo were updates regarding our upcoming wedding ceremonies at the LA County Jail and California Prisons this August.

Who was this hater? Someone with 2 followers (go figure) and a private account (as usual) who was attempting to redirect traffic to themselves. My first thought? “Get off my timeline!” 

This private account also featured a stock photo (how original) while spewing their arrogance while assuming that his or her (who knows since they didn’t even use their own photo in their previous file) opinions regarding inmate marriage mattered to me OR my clients. They didn’t. 

My clients, my family and I are ALL very happy. Look at the photos kids. My clients AND my family are having non stop fun. We love what we do and who we do it for. We are also having a great time enjoying our new friends while celebrating love, resilience and joy on wedding day. 

Haters are going to hate. In fact, narrow minded idiots unhappy with their own lives will almost always find a way to voice their opinions on others. 

Truthfully though, others don’t care about your opinions. “Prisoners shouldn’t be allowed to marry” among other things in the comment by the person who not only wouldn’t use their real name or photo included the suggestion that “I should get my $hit together and get a life?” Let’s examine this stupid statement and go over the cowardly idiot who posted it ONLY to remove it AFTER reading this blog. 

That’s right, I saw you closed your account after deleting your comment you screwball. First off, inmates like anyone else have the right to marry. Get over yourself. Secondly, I have a very busy life that revolves around my clients and my family as well as my volunteer efforts. You see, unlike you “troller behind a stock photo with a private account,” I give back to my community. 

I also strongly and wholly support the belief that Love Is Love. Get off your computer or phone and stop hiding behind that mask you wear and you might not be so hateful. Get some sun. Get out more often. Get a life. Don’t tell people WITH a life to get one. Get your OWN. Stop spying on everyone else’s attempting to put your negativity on them. You ARE not that important I can assure you. 

At the time this notification came through, I was planning to leave my client in Palo Pinto County and go to lunch with Cindy, Makenna, Stephaney and my son in Weatherford. 

Reading the comment, I had stopped to consider whether or not to be infuriated by a stranger who knew their idiot comment WOULD upset me and finally decided that they weren’t worth it.

Sitting in the county jail parking lot, I also reconsider deleting the comment or responding? This “scenario” has happened a handful of times on Instagram the past few years to my account on instagram. Twitter too although most bullies use email or the phone to give me their opinions. 

The illogical nature of numskulls “reaching out to a stranger” while even thinking or believing that anyone else and especially me cares about “their opinion” continues to confuse me. 

Some folks will do anything to get the attention they can’t based on their own lives. The internet is full of them. Stalkers, trollers, mean spirited and ugly hearted people who would never consider walking up to me to say the things they feel safe saying on the internet. 

News flash for the haters, no one cares what you think. Your opinion to myself or my clients means nothing to us. You are a fly in the soup. A rude diner. You are living a miserable life and want to bring everyone else down with you BUT you can’t. Do you know why? Because you aren’t THAT important. You WISH you were but you aren’t. Bullies never are important. Grow up. I’m sure you’ve heard this before but take heed, trying to run a stranger down might upset your other unknowing victims who don’t check notifications but… I’m not your victim or anyone else’s phony account loudmouth. 

Why would ANYONE out there who isn’t a client or even a family member THINK that THEIR opinion or THEIR beliefs matter to me I have no idea but, these haters have far too much time on their hands. Go volunteer. Adopt a pet. Find something more constructive to occupy your time Pal. Also, unless you are bound to me by blood or business, bug off. 

How do these haters even find my accounts? They search hashtags pertaining to inmate marriage. I.E. they are looking for something to complain about and more importantly someone to target. 

Trolls. People so miserable in their own lives that they want to find someone happy and attempt to ruin their day too. Big surprise trollers, you didn’t ruin mine. I met wonderful clients all week long and even had a great day with family and clients yesterday instead. 

Your opinion is the wind to me. Whispers of animosity spoken by those who have no voice in my life, my businesses or my direction. 

Let’s review something I hear regularly by others who (ironically) “had Religious issues” with my client bases years ago, you know who you are. You troll ALL of my social media. You subscribe to all of my blogs and you can’t believe I’m successful. “NOW you reach out to me to teach you how to do what I do?” You have got to be kidding me. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist and why would people intent on seeing me fail who instead watched me succeed have the audacity to even ask? Trollers. God love em because no one else does. 

Since our inmate wedding business now spans several states. I’m going to address Arkansas and Oklahoma bookings first. There is a process and the process is lengthy. While Texas clients generally wait 1-2 months for wedding day, Arkansas and Oklahoma as well as New Hampshire and a handful of other states wait 6 months to a year to marry. Shocking isn’t it? But, each state is different and each state follows its own set of rules. The process to marry an inmate is lengthy and complicated. Hire someone who knows how to walk you through it. I cannot stress this enough. 

Over the past year I’ve had three clients call me regarding their visitation being revoked. This too is a process to overcome. There are guidelines and procedures censured in place that MUST be followed. You cannot marry an inmate if you cannot visit them. Contact me, we will work through it and get your appeal filed. Everything regarding marrying an inmate is a process. It’s not a process we can control. It is a process we will follow.

Since Cindy and I are traveling to California several times the next few months as well as California, Louisiana, Arkansas and Oklahoma, it should be noted that traveling with teenage twins isn’t for the faint hearted. Do you leave them home with other adults and wait on phone calls regarding chaos at home or take them with you and listen to them tell you they are  bored? 

I’m on the fence about California as it’s a working trip. Other states are generally day trips. Having Maryssa and Makenna out of school for the summer and trying to be entertaining while working requires the skills of a magician. 

Children are cute and hilarious until they become teens. If you are unaware of this, as a parent, you will find out soon enough. “I don’t want to eat there. I don’t like this hotel. I don’t want to sit by her. She’s using the charger and I need it.” 

I could go on and on here but, for our parents spending the summer with their teen children, I realize that I don’t need to. You get it. 

Cindy and I have raised two generations of children. The twins are 14 going on 40 and the youngest, Madyson keeps us laughing with her personality and energy. Maddy’s mom has no idea of how hard her move will be when she leaves her village of babysitters behind to move to California. Maddy has had Cindy and Wendy as well as Maryssa and Makenna to help take care of her. Maddy has had a village. I worry about it.

I’m on site at several venues this weekend and looking forward to meeting new clients at your prison or county jail wedding soon.

For all of our clients working through the summer and trying to be entertaining to their teen children, hang in there, we’ve got a few months of summer left. Ya all can do this… 

TDCJ Weddings- Questions, Comments, Concerns & County Clerks…

Daily I field calls texts and emails pertaining to inmate marriages. Several of these calls are from different states. Over the weekend, a lady from Georgia contacted me regarding marrying her. 

Georgia is more than a “jog” for me from Texas and due to the distance, I chose to educate her regarding policy and procedure before telling her I didn’t know of anyone conducting prison weddings in Georgia but, if after understanding the process, she needed an Officiant, when we have out of state requests, we can stack an inmate wedding. Let’s review stacking. It’s essential for me due to distances. Many states only allow prison weddings two days a year. In Texas, prison weddings occur two days a month. Because of the scheduling, other states are stacked. 

The last thing I would do is to refer someone to a stranger. A person unaware of how to perform a complicated task such as a prison wedding. If you make a mistake at a prison wedding, you might find yourself there. There are no mistakes at prison weddings and shouldn’t be anywhere else but, everyone assumes they can be an Officiant these days. They can’t. 

Finding a qualified Officiant to conduct your prison ceremony requires far more than the Officiant bothering to show up. 

Today’s blog will revisit the role of an Officiant inside or outside the walls of a penitentiary.

The role of an Officiant is a very serious role. I should know because each and every time someone came to me AFTER HIRING THE WRONG OFFICIANT, I solved their problem of entrusting something as serious as a marriage to someone else unaware of the seriousness. 

There is also some confusion regarding a name change after marriage and a court filing for a name change. These are two completely different things ya all. Marriage requires no court appearance (or filing fee) in order to change your name. 

I will use an example to better describe changing your name NOT pertaining to a marriage or divorce. In July, I’m meeting a client in court to legally change her name. The reason for this is she was a victim of domestic abuse and changing her name is essential to protecting her identity. This is a rare occurrence but, it happens across the U.S. for other reasons too. 

Sometimes adults wish to change their name simply because they don’t like it or for other reasons. Aside from marriage or a divorce, name change petitions are relatively rare. 

The option of “taking on your spouses name” is up to the couple. Meaning, you are not required to change your name due to marriage. The “flip side” to that coin is divorce. After a divorce, you can either keep your previous name or return to your maiden name during the divorce proceeding. 

Again, changing your name is optional and a personal decision left up to the party. If you have children, you are (most likely) going to keep your former married name for convenience but aren’t obligated to do so. Your divorce decree will outline your desire to keep OR change your name. 

The (signed and filed) marriage license gives you an effective “window” to do a name change by simply taking your signed and recorded license to the DMV first then to SS. 

An original (unsigned by an Officiant) marriage license is valid for 90 days. Once signed, the license MUST be filed within 30 days. Failure of a filing in Texas is a crime. 

If you are an Officiant in or outside of a prison in Texas, each state within the U.S. has laws pertaining to officiating a marriage ceremony. 

In Texas, you need to educate yourself to the Family Code, your role and responsibly and the penalties for FAILURE to follow procedure and protocol. From the clerk to the Officiant to the filing, there is far more involved in the process of marriage. After all, divorce is difficult and expensive. 

A divorce is required to dissolve a marriage. The difference is that a divorce often requires attorneys. In most cases, couples rarely have ANY legal advice prior to marrying including the Oath taken to purchase a marriage license. 

Let’s go over the “Oath.” There should be a Miranda for people who have no idea that falsifying a marriage license application is a felony. But, it is. What you are swearing to is that all of the information you have provided is true and correct. If it isn’t, you are falsifying a government document. 

Most of you don’t even recall taking an Oath but, I can assure you that you did. 
“What if my loved one wasn’t present when buying the marriage license?” They didn’t take an Oath. Ahhh, but they did. The Absent Party signed an Oath on the Absentee Affidavit. The person present swore out a verbal Oath. 

Both parties took an Oath. See the attached Absentee Affidavit. The bottom of this form contains an Oath by the Applicant. 

“I’m consistently shocked and subsequently, horrified that people think the role of an Officiant is to show up and sign a license.” It isn’t. It is by far more and if you are unaware of this, do the couple a favor and yourself a favor and don’t volunteer to do something you are incapable of understanding how to do. You, the Officiant, are expected to file the license and fail to do so, you face criminal charges in Texas for failing to do so. Don’t be surprised. The role of an Officiant is a serious one. 

Sec. 2.206. RETURN OF LICENSE; PENALTY. (a) The person who conducts a marriage ceremony shall record on the license the date on which and the county in which the ceremony is performed and the person’s name, subscribe the license, and return the license to the county clerk who issued it not later than the 30th day after the date the ceremony is conducted.
(b) A person who fails to comply with this section commits an offense. An offense under this section is a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of not less than $200 and not more than $500.

Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, Sec. 1, eff. April 17, 1997.
For people unaware of the criminal and civil penalties for “not knowing what you are doing,” I will continue to elaborate.

Sec. 2.207. MARRIAGE CONDUCTED AFTER LICENSE EXPIRED; PENALTY. (a) A person who is to conduct a marriage ceremony shall determine whether the license has expired from the county clerk’s endorsement on the license.
(b) A person who conducts a marriage ceremony after the marriage license has expired commits an offense. An offense under this section is a misdemeanor punishable by a fine of not less than $200 and not more than $500.

Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, Sec. 1, eff. April 17, 1997.
Sec. 2.208. RECORDING AND DELIVERY OF LICENSE. (a) The county clerk shall record a returned marriage license and mail the license to the address indicated on the application.
(b) On the application form the county clerk shall record:

(1) the date of the marriage ceremony;

(2) the county in which the ceremony was conducted; and

(3) the name of the person who conducted the ceremony.

Added by Acts 1997, 75th Leg., ch. 7, Sec. 1, eff. April 17, 1997.

Let’s review a certified marriage license. It is a legal copy of of the recorded and signed original marriage license. Why do you need one? Generally, for insurance purposes or other legal reasons. These certified copies are relatively inexpensive. You will buy them at the same clerks office that you purchased your marriage license at. 

There also appears to be some confusion regarding Absent Applicants. In general, BOTH parties appear at the clerks office. Because active military members have been using Absentee Applications for years, the new use pertaining to inmate marriages might very well confuse smaller clerks and sub county courthouses. 

Time and time again, one of my clients have been told by a clerk that “Absentee Affidavits are ONLY for service members” “obviously isn’t up to date regarding the use of these Affidavits for inmate marriages.” 

However, rather than attempting to educate Texas county clerks or other state based clerks who are unaware of how to perform their jobs how to, I send my clients to a clerk in a larger city instead. 

Knowing how to solve problems is essential for Prison Wedding Planning. Knowing procedure is critical to an Officiant. 
One of my Crain Unit clients was so confused by the Coryell County Clerks Office that he told me “they keep sending it back.” Alarmed, I asked “sending what back?” 

My client had been mailing in the paperwork rather than appearing in person WITH the paperwork. I was really confused as to why he was mailing the paperwork to purchase the license after I had advised him of the process and the necessity to appear in person. Why was my groom confused? The clerks office. They consistently told him to mail in the paperwork. I can’t stress this enough ya all. Smaller clerk offices are almost always unfamiliar with inmate marriage.

Since it was easier to meet him two hours from my location in order to walk him through buying marriage license myself in Coryell County, I did. Unlike the clerk, I understood the process and held my clients hand through applying for and subsequently buying his marriage license.  

I’ve met several clients over the years at clerks offices to walk them through the process of obtaining their marriage license. 
There CANNOT BE TWO ABSENT APPLICANTS. One person must appear to swear out the Oath and fill out the marriage license application. You must also have a current and valid ID. 

You also cannot purchase an unsigned original marriage license by mail. What you can do is order a filed and recorded marriage license. There is also some confusion regarding this. But, you must fill out a marriage application, show ID and swear an Oath which obviously cannot be done by mail. Hence, you or at least one of you are required to appear in person at the clerks office. 

The original marriage license application and procedure require at least one party present. 

The option to either pick up your (filed and recorded) marriage license at the clerks office or to have it mailed to you is available in certain counties within Texas.  
Tarrant County mails filed licenses back to couples. 

Please double check the address. If you give an incorrect address, a Duplicate License will not look like the original. 
In certain cases, the original sent to the wrong address may eventually show up but, it’s not a given. 

I’ve also had questions regarding Marriage Fraud and Marriage Laws. I’m well versed on both. I’ve also taught Marriage Fraud classes. There isn’t anything I don’t know about my job. I’m well versed and knowledgeable. 

However, for these other folks aka other Officiants  “who decided that they could perform the task of officiating” contacting myself or my staff to “walk them through how to perform a wedding ceremony,” I’ve got a wake up call for you. We are booked two years out. Our clients are our priority. We don’t have the time to teach you how to perform a function that requires far more than a phone call. No one does. 

What couples need to know when hiring an Officiant is that your Officiant is educated pertaining to laws associated with marriage license protocol. 
What does this mean? I will give you a few examples. Over the years, I’ve had hysterical couples call me because “our neighbor performed our marriage and we aren’t actually married.” 
Or, “my uncle went online and didn’t know he had to file the license and we aren’t married.” 
Or, “we went to another country and thought we were married. My husband died and I’m not legally married.” In that situation particularly, the bride lost ALL assets in probate court. Why? She wasn’t married. She also called me because like many others, she had heard I help people. Her story was shocking. It also infuriated me. She was a victim. I was her advocate. I helped locate an attorney and encouraged her to file suit against the Officiant. She subsequently, also won her lawsuit based on emotional and economic damages against the Officiant. 

Let’s keep going here. I could write a book. “The Officiant made a mistake on our marriage license and the clerks office wants them to file an Amended license but they refuse to respond to our phone calls.” 

If you are an Officiant who has no idea how to perform the function of marrying a couple and much less how to carry out the role, STOP. JUST STOP. Don’t call me to solve YOUR problems. You need legal advice. Call an attorney because if you’ve made an error, you are expected to correct it. Not me. I don’t even know you. I’m juggling my own clients with the knowledge and professionalism they deserve. 

Last year, someone called me telling me “I’ve decided to become an Officiant. I need your advice.” Whoa Nelly! YOU have decided to become an Officiant and need MY ADVICE? 

My advice is to educate yourself. After all, you are asking me to create competition that doesn’t exist for myself and my staff at my expense of time that I don’t have to educate someone else. 

Don’t assume that by “going online that conducting a ceremony is easy.” It isn’t. It’s complicated and outlined in Family Law for a reason. The reason is that it’s a legal process. Five minutes online becoming ordained isn’t going to educate you pertaining to a serious role you have chosen to play. You know, your PART in officiating a wedding. 

These people AKA “other Officiants” think that signing a legal document “isn’t a big deal.” However, contacting me to ask “what is an Amended Petition? How do you file a Duplicate Copy of a marriage license? Can you help me?” No. You need to help yourself buddy. You should also stop performing marriage ceremonies. Obviously, you aren’t qualified and much less educated to the process. 

For all the folks thinking they are an educated or even knowledgeable Officiant and assuming that it’s an easy job,” heads up people, if you don’t realize that screwing up a marriage license has legal ramifications, you shouldn’t be doing it. There are also criminal liabilities. That’s right. Marriage Fraud is a felony. 

If you are part of a Marriage Fraud case, no one is going to accept that you didn’t know what you were doing as an adequate defense. 

I’ve seen “other Officiants” sued AND criminally prosecuted over mistakes. It will happen again since people assume that “it’s so easy ANYONE can do it.” 

I’m also well aware of “other Officiants” having their privilege of officiating a wedding rescinded due to more than one error. Held accountable for an error? What do mean Wendy? First off, you have just ruined someone’s wedding by not knowing what you are doing and secondly if you make a mistake, you are civilly and criminally held accountable. 

Ignorance isn’t an adequate defense of the law. 

After all, you WERE the “other Officiant.” I’m the clean up crew to your mistakes. You know the person couples hired to become LEGALLY MARRIED. Over and over again, I’ve been the SECOND OFFICIANT. You know, the person who knew what they were doing! The person the couple came to upon realizing and recognizing that they had initially trusted the WRONG PERSON. 

The number of times I’ve remarried someone who thought they were already married would shock you. 

An Officiant SHOULD BE EDUCATED TO ANY AND ALL PROCEDURES. If you aren’t, it isn’t a job you should be conducting. 
I saw a hilarious comment on TIFA from someone saying “I have a loved one incarcerated. Because of this, I’m familiar with the process of inmate marriages.” 

Really? Visiting an inmate and marrying an Inmate are TWO COMPLETELY different things. Can you assist your client in filing an appeal for revoked visitation? Can you assist your client in remedying a CLM status? Do you know how to walk a client through a prison wedding planning process and answer their concerns and much less address them pertaining to the Administrative Directive with knowledge that they can comprehend? 

This statement regarding visitation and inmate marriage was so outrageous that I found myself wondering why loved ones of inmates didn’t respond to the post by saying “I have an inmate incarcerated and I have no idea of the process of marrying one.”

Visiting an inmate and conducting a legal marriage within a prison is complicated. There are rules and procedures. There are also unexpected hurdles. You need someone educated and well versed on all of the above. Visiting a prison and inmate have nothing to do with marrying an inmate. These are two wholly separate instances. 

What you don’t need is someone “winging it.” There are a lot of them out there. This isn’t a job function you play by ear or accomplish by simply showing up on wedding day. 

“Just because a person goes to the DOCTOR, doesn’t make them a PHYSICIAN.” Experience MATTERS, That’s WHY you HIRE a PROFESSIONAL in the FIRST place. 

I hope this clarifies your questions and for those simply wanting to change their name without marriage marriage being a factor, I’m including this information- When you file your name change petition, you’ll have to pay a filing fee, which varies depending upon what county you are in. Generally the cost to change your namein Texas ranges from $250 to $350. Once you’ve filed your name change petition, a date for the court hearing will be set.

I’ve Got A DANCE That AIN’T Got No STEPS…Work, Family, Clients & Reality…

This morning at 5AM, I was as usual up and at it. My day would have me driving across Texas meeting clients and someone who had contacted me regarding giving up her unborn child to Burt and Deanna who lost their baby girl to Trisomy a year ago. 

Getting my husband breakfast while he watched the weather (as usual) hoping rain would miss his Saginaw development, we had a few minutes to catch up with each other since the past five days have been spent tagging in and out to visit my grandniece at Cook’s Children’s Hospital. 

My husband has been a builder and developer for 50 years. Nothing sets back a development like rain. Saturday’s downpour was yet another setback to Matthew. He’s bracing for yet another one late today. Bless his heart. 

After walking Foxy Wortham, I ran to bathe and chose a Donna Karan suit to wear today while fielding texts, phone calls and emails. Last night while following the ambulance from Cook’s to Mesa Springs with Cindy riding shotgun, I took a call from my Coffield Unit client who was having trouble getting a certified copy of her marriage license from Tarrant County. 

This morning, I drove to the Tarrant County Clerks Office and picked it up for her while leaving Fort Worth. For those unaware of why you need a certified copy of your marriage license or what it is, I will elaborate. A certified copy doesn’t look like your original license. It’s a copy used for legal purposes. Once your license is signed and returned to the clerk, it’s recorded. After being recorded, its returned to you or if you’ve chosen to pick it up, waits for you. Most Units REQUIRE a certified copy be sent to inmate records to update an inmates status. The certified copy is relatively inexpensive from $4-12 based on the county. You will send it to inmate records with the inmates name and number. Please include this information because it you don’t, inmate records can have difficulty if the name of the inmate happens to be common such as John Smith, Michael Moore, Etc. 

Driving through Waxahachie, I was planning to stop for gas on my way to meet the pregnant lady who had contacted me in Corsicana at the Collin Street Bakery while on my way to meet Elizabeth at Beto Unit before dropping off the certified marriage license from Tarrant County to Coffield Unit before heading to Hodge Unit to meet Jenny before going back to Dallas County North Tower to meet two clients and then rushing back to Fort Worth for visitation at Mesa Springs. As usual, my day was busy. Staying busy occupies my mind. 

Arriving in Corsicana, I sent a text to Barbara to make sure she was at the bakery. She was. I rolled into the parking lot to find her wearing a heavy cable knit sweater that covered her wrists. I checked my car for the temperature. Eighty nine degrees. This wasn’t looking good. She was frail. Her eyes were dialated. I knew she was using. This will shock my readers so, I will elaborate. My mother was an intravenous heroin user. At five years old, I found her in the bathroom overdosing with the needle still sticking out from between her toes. To this day, the sight of blood makes me nauseous. 

Leaving my SUV. I ask Barbara to lift her sleeves. She becomes defensive. “Roll up your sleeves. Take off your shoes and open your mouth.” Barbara has dirty hair and clothing that doesn’t fit along with an attitude. I don’t care. Burt and Deanna are good people. I will not let their loss of baby DeLilah be taken advantage of by an addict. Addiction makes me angry. A pregnant addict is even worse. Barbara needs to get help. I plan to discuss this. There’s a program in Tarrant County at JPS that will help her. Convincing her to get help will be difficult and most likely, confrontational. I jump in anyway and decide that if I don’t use this opportunity, I will regret it. I’m tired. My bones hurt. This past week has left me heartsick. Barbara being an addict only compounds my sadness. 

There are old track marks on Barbara’s arms and new ones between her toes. She’s pregnant enough to be showing. Her mouth is full of rotten teeth most likely from meth use. Barbara underestimated me. “You tell them I want $10k for my baby.” When I posted that Burt and Deanna were willing to take on the expense of raising a child, paying for one had never been mentioned. Where did Barbara come up with this idea? 

I look at her deeply sadenned that the child she carries has no say in her lifestyle. Any idiot can get pregnant. My mom did four times. My mom also put a price tag on all four of her children’s heads. How much? Fifty dollars each. I will never get over the amount. None of her children will. The “sale” was recorded by my grandfather. He wrote the check. He also spent our entire childhood reminding us that “no one wants you not even your own mother.” Yes, there was a reason he recorded my mother getting $200 to go get high. The reason was to hurt us over and over again about it. Cindy found the tape years ago and played it until it broke. I listened to it once. It was enough for me. Enough to find her in my 20’s and ask her why myself. The answer would haunt me. The amount still does. 

“Barbara, Burt and Deanna are looking for a child that needs a loving family. They aren’t planning to buy a baby. I’m protective of them. I’m here today to screen you. I’m here today to protect them from being disappointed. I’m sorry but you need to get your head on and put your child’s needs before your desires. I won’t give you money but I will feed you. I will also help you get help when you are ready to find it. Here’s my card. Call me when you decide to change your life.” I took her inside and bought her food she didn’t eat. Addicts rarely do. I packed it up for her and drove away wondering if she would call me? 

Back on the road passing Russell Stover, I thought of the many times Cindy and I had stopped in for a caramel apple. Happy times after meeting happy clients at Tennessee Colony Units for their wedding. I will have to call Deanna and advise her of Barbara and the issues that I had hoped weren’t what I feared. It would be a let down to someone who will never get over losing DeLilah. Reality would be another thorn in Deanna’s heart. The world is often an unhappy place. Many people lose their faith because their path is so painful. I’ve been one of those people. Cindy has too. It’s difficult to understand why God gave us such a hard life now and then. Incomprehensible at times even but, God will find a way to help a mother while gifting Deanna and Burt with a child to love. I have faith. My faith was restored years ago. I lost it in my childhood and again in my first marriage. It’s difficult to “pin down” the many times I’ve wondered why life must be so hard? I’m certain others feel the same way. Barbara came from a good home. She had even gone to college and yet, she chose to become an addict. I don’t get it. Even as a child, I questioned why drugs were so important to my mother. 

My former Beto Bride Client is facing 20-25 years for bank fraud. She has a one year old son and no family. She’s also a good person who has no history of drug abuse. She contacted me two weeks ago fearful for her son’s future in foster care. She also is doing the right thing by giving up the son she loves so much to a family that will love him equally. While Burt and Deanna were more than willing to take on two children, the child carried by Barbara is a drug baby who will almost certainly have health issues do to the abuse of Barbara during her pregnancy. I offered to leave a bus ticket for Barbara on Will Call in Corsicana. I doubt she will use it. But maybe she will put her child’s needs first? I can only plant a seed. I can’t force Barbara to change. No one can. I’m certain her family gave up years ago and fear she may be prostituting herself in exchange for drugs. I had asked. Her face answered. 

I don’t “look like someone” aware of the underworld of drugs. I had to learn it from my mother who was a prostitute in exchange for heroin. I wish I didn’t know the seedy underworld of drug abuse or crack houses but, my niece was also a meth addict. The things people don’t know about me are that I never expected to live this long. Because of this, I’m also unafraid. 

I’ve been in places that would shock you. I’ve marched into dangerous areas to drag my niece out. My sister has too. Our anger prevented us from being afraid. We were determined to “straighten Stephaney up” and the people “pulling her back in” didn’t scare either of us. Instead, they infuriated us both. Twins marching in to crack houses to save Stephaney surprised the dealers but, when you are trying to save a family member, your own safety is set aside in your mission. Ours was. 

Luckily, our anger at my niece’s consistent relapses is (most likely) why we were never shot, stabbed or robbed. A Fort Worth Police officer once told me “she chooses to be here. You are going to get yourselves killed and I’m going to have to write up the paperwork. Get out of this area.” I told him “we know this area because we’ve been coming here for YEARS to save my niece and the dealers are far more afraid of us than we are of them. If we die trying to get her help, we died trying to do everything within our power to prevent my niece from becoming my mom.” He drove off. 

Heading to Tennessee Colony, I returned calls to Luther, Wynn, Hodge and Allred Units. I also cried about people like my mom and Barbara. I don’t understand it. I can’t. I check in with Cindy and Leigh Ann on Makenna. I make a note to pick up shampoo and conditioner for Makenna to take to visitation at Mesa Springs. It’s a very expensive facility. We don’t care. Mesa Springs is also the best facility in Fort Worth. Treatment for mentally ill patients AND addicts is expensive. 

For sixteen and nearly seventeen years, Cindy and I took turns paying for Stephaney’s treatment for drug abuse. Tens of thousands of dollars later, telling her “we were out. We were cutting her loose and we would never help her again” was actually what worked. Cindy and I were enablers. FOR YEARS. We were also, unaware of being enablers. 

I “line up my family for visits everyday” for Makenna while juggling client calls after calling Deanna about Barbara. I also take a call from New York regarding a “show idea.” I end the call by saying “call back after wedding season.” I mean it. I’m overwhelmed. I’m on auto pilot. Frankly, I’m like a horse with blinders the past week. I focus solely on getting everything I need to do done. I’m driven. But, I cannot take on anything outside clients and family right now. I know my limitations. A few months ago while trying to get Stephaney into a “luxury rehab facility in Valdosta,” a producer would waste over a week of my time in his efforts to obtain my clients contact information. He would lie. He would blow smoke and he would also have no idea what was going on in my life and why his “song and dance of empty promises infuriated the shit out of Cindy and I.” From a fake contract to wanting us to secure talent FOR him at our expense, Chris had no idea of what our work and personal lives actually entail. He also had no idea that I would expose his tactics. Don’t call me blowing smoke. I don’t have the time or the energy for bullshit. 

On that “luxury rehab” situation, it was an abandoned trailer with no running water, electricity or food. Cindy and I wouldn’t know this UNTIL we had sent Stephaney there. UNTIL we had send money and until Stephaney told us what was going on. I involved the DA, Attorney General, County Sheriff and more to “get Stephaney back” while saving three children also starving in that abandoned trailer WHILE dealing with clients and the dipshit producer who wanted me to screen my clients FOR HIM. Now you know why I was so pissed off. If you are a producer or casting agent, know your job description and don’t call me to do your job for you. Don’t lie to me to get me to do your job for you either. I have a very low tolerance for liars. 

Driving to Corsicana, I practice deep breaths and being on today. I practice putting my sorrow away to celebrate joy with my clients. I prepare to dance without music. I’m good at it. I always have been. I no longer fabricate the family to others that I didn’t have in order to protect THEM. I stopped doing this at fifty years old. Why lie to PROTECT the people who FAILED to PROTECT my siblings and I? I’m raw. I’m real. I’m honest. This shocks others but, I’m also a survivor. A survivor of a violent childhood and sexual abuse that began at 6 years old and didn’t end until my twin sister and I ran away. We were 15. 

On my fiftieth birthday, I decided to stop pretending I came from a wonderful family. I also decided to stop wishing I had one. This was joint decision by Cindy and I. When we had our children we vowed to treat them the same way we had hoped to have been treated as children ourselves. We kept our promises. 

Maybe a few people found us to be overprotective but neither our children or our grandchildren have ever been beaten or sexually abused because Cindy and I were cautious and extremely careful about who they were allowed to have over to our homes and sleepovers at friends houses were so rare that we can count on one hand the number of times we allowed our children AND grandchildren to stay over at a friends house in 35 years. 

My niece, Stephaney has been in near death situations by her choices over the years. We couldn’t change this. We tried. Over and over and over again. Stephaney’s choices weren’t due to a violent childhood. She had two mothers. Both Cindy and I raised all of our children and grandchildren together but, addiction runs in our family. Cindy and I hate addiction. HATE IT. We pray Stephaney never relapses again. I’m not sure we could handle another setback with Stephaney. We’ve had far too many. 

Elizabeth calls me an hour prior to her scheduled ceremony at Beto Unit. Elizabeth has also asked that I don’t post photos. I agree not to. Client privacy is a courtesy to all of our clients. She looks beautiful in a royal blue dress with her hair down and the Unit photos of her and her husband are the best I’ve ever seen in Texas. Elizabeth is thrilled with her photos. 

We had passed a barbecue place on the way to a Unit and I decided to use it for her bridal photos. I liked the “country backdrop” and it was on my way back to Tennessee Colony to head on towards Hodge Unit. I enjoyed finally meeting Elizabeth and look forward to editing her photos. 

I’m back on the highway and in a hurry to get to Hodge then back to Fort Worth. Due to the delay at Beto, I’m moving my Dallas North Tower Unit to after visitation at Mesa Springs tonight. My clients understand. They are completely unlike traditional clients. Many have asked why I prefer county and prison services? The answer? The people. They are real. They care about my family they have the compassion that many folks lack. They know sorrow and hardship. They too are survivors…. 

A Flawed Flower Will Still Bloom- Torres Unit To Roberts Unit To Bridgeport Unit To Cook’s Childrens Hospital…

The past week of my life has been spent bouncing from the joyous occasions of wedding ceremonies to the shock, despair and disbelief of my personal life. 

Last Thursday, a stunning revelation that would rattle my entire family. How did we get here? My grandniece, Makenna had “met a new friend at school a few weeks ago” and was spending more and more time on her phone. 

Cindy and I had no idea that this “new friend” would result in my grandniece being hospitalized after an overdose of her antidepressant medication due entirely to bullying from “her new friend.” Her new friend would literally push and keep pushing my beautiful grandniece into taking all of her Lexapro. Her new friend was doing this on the cell phone Cindy pays for. Yes, we are angry this outsider got to Makenna and yes, we are devastated about it but, our focus is on getting Makenna healthy mentally and physically. 

Looking back over the past week, I wish Cindy and I had taken time to view text messages prior to finding ourselves in the ER with Makenna reading text messages that ended with RIP from her new friend “Michael.” How could we have known what was going on? Still, we blame ourselves. Our busy schedules. Our inability to see “trouble with Makenna.” 

My highly intelligent grandniece took her entire bottle of Lexapro Thursday at approximately 4:15PM while Cindy and I along with Leigh Ann and Madyson were in Abilene, Texas with my Roberts Unit bride, her daughter, mother and grandmother. 

We could have had no idea that while Cindy’s Husband, Steve was outside mowing and Makenna’s twin sister, Maryssa was filming a makeup tutorial and the twins mother, Stephaney was making dinner that Makenna was texting Michael that she was “so depressed over their break up that she was going to take her entire bottle of Lexapro.” Michael had egged Makenna on. Teen suicide is real. If your teen is talking or texting someone you don’t know- get involved. Ask questions. 

At 4:19PM last Thursday, the last text from Michael had read “RIP.” At 4:20PM, Makenna had sent a text to Cindy and I both while in Loves Truck Stop with Leigh Ann and Madyson that read “I took my bottle of Lexapro. I’m scared. I need to go to the hospital.”

If you are a parent, grandparent or guardian, you would have been as horrified reading this text as we were. Our straight A student. Our beautiful Makenna with the heart of an Angel had just taken an entire bottle of Lexapro? We were over an hour from Cindy’s home. I called Cindy’s Husband then Maryssa while Cindy called 911 in Parker County from Abilene. 

Maryssa had found her twin sister convulsing on the bathroom floor and also called 911. Thankfully, Medstar arrived within minutes and transported Makenna to Cook’s Childrens Hospital. Steve was devastated and too shocked to compose himself and stayed behind at home with Maryssa. I drove 95-100 MPH from Abilene to Cook’s with Cindy, Leigh Ann and Maddy. 

My brother in law, Steve has only cried three times in 27 years that I’ve known him. The first time was when his mother died. The second time was while under attack at Baghdad Airport immediately following the roadside bombing on Good Friday. The third time was last Thursday. 

Makenna was incoherent when Cindy and I walked into her room. She was also on an IV and “under suicide observation.” Due to Serotonin Syndrome, Makenna was also on oxygen. 

Nothing and I mean NOTHING prepares you for a moment like this. Had Makenna NOT sent those texts to Cindy and I, we or someone else at Cindy’s house would have found Makenna dead in the bathroom Thursday. Thank God Makenna sent those texts prior to going into convulsions. 

Living in a hospital with clinical observation while wondering if Makenna’s heart would recover since Thursday has been stressful, terrifying and a literal family affair of “tagging out and tagging in by family members due to our booked clients.” From sending my son to Collin County to running to Bridgeport Unit Friday as well as Green Bay Unit and Belltower Chapel Saturday, clocking in and out of the hospital has left all of us emotional basket cases. 

Over the past two plus years, my niece (the twins mom) Stephaney has been involuntarily committed. Makenna’s twin sister, Maryssa played the choking game and was also committed. My father thought intruders were living in his attic and was also commited. To say this merry go round of Psych Ward visits has left Cindy and I with pom poms missing streamers would be an understatement. We have circled our wagons, walked into visits as cheerleaders lost, confused and hopeless. Walked into client meetings confident and with direction. Smiled when we felt like crying and juggled work and family with the fluidity of a triathlete. But, we had no choice. Our clients and our families are priorities. We had prayed for Stephaney and Maryssa to straighten up and they both finally had. We never saw an issue with Makenna coming and wonder if it’s our fault that we didn’t? 

It takes a village and thankfully, we have one. Going over the events leading up to this past week has run through my mind over and over again. What did we miss? We should have asked more questions about Michael. Instead, we found it cute that Makenna had a boyfriend although they had never went anywhere together alone and this “relationship” was mostly via her cell phone. Cindy and I didn’t see the red flags. We wish we had but, we didn’t. 

On Monday night, Cindy stayed with me to leave at 4AM for Torres Unit in Hondo, Texas. We checked in frequently with the twins and their mom from the road. Everyone seemed fine. We finished our photo shoot in Hondo, Texas and headed back to Fort Worth. Cindy and I stopped at a meat market for her husband, Steve who had frequented this meat market as a child. I took several calls driving back as I had several prison weddings last week with traditional and county jail weddings this weekend. My days and nights are filled with client questions and bookings. I rarely have a day off in season. 

On Wednesday, Cindy and I had several county jail weddings with meetings for traditional clients. I also took my secretary,  Virginia to lunch to celebrate her birthday. 

Everything seemed normal. Makenna had opted out of going to the movies with her mother and twin sister but that wasn’t unusual. Makenna was working on her 9th grade schedule for school. Makenna is and always has been a stellar student. Makenna has always been driven, dedicated and focused on school. Maryssa never has. 

Thursday, I left my home office to drive to Weatherford and pick up Leigh Ann, Cindy and Madyson. I checked on the twins before hitting the highway and asked “if they wanted to join us?” Since Steve was home after two weeks of driving for Ryder, he had a list of chores and Stephaney was washing clothes and cleaning. It was a normal day. 

On our way to meet Jennifer and her family, we stopped at The Smokestack for breakfast. Again, we checked in at Cindy’s house. I also checked in with my husband, Matthew. 

Maddy was a fireball at breakfast and kept jumping up to go sit with other diners. I.E. dining out with Maddy is always an adventure. Leaving the Smokestack, I checked in with Jennifer as we were meeting her early to do photos since we were on the schedule at Roberts Unit at 3PM. 

At 12PM, I pulled into the address Jennifer had given me to meet her at Jacobs Dream at Abilene Christian University. 

Maddy jumped out to “climb rocks.” Maddy also takes off her shoes to put her feet in the pond. Leigh Ann takes a few photos to check the lighting before Jennifer and her family arrive at 12:30PM. 

Meeting Jennifer in person and excited about our location, I begin unloading tiaras, furs, bouquets, fascinators and other props from my SUV with Cindy. 

Again, we would have no idea that Makenna is even contemplating taking her entire bottle of prescribed medication, Lexapro. I WISH WE HAD KNOWN. 

We are on location and enjoying a great day with Jennifer and her family. We believe that our family at home is fine. We are also sadly and profoundly mistaken. Maddy (as usual) jumps in on a few wedding photos. Leaving the university, our caravan heads to Walmart. Cindy checks in with Steve. We decide to buy Jennifer’s granddaughter a pair of shorts because hers and Maddy’s were both wet from the pond. 

Checking my watch, we still have an hour before we are scheduled at Roberts Unit. I decide to go to McDonalds and buy the kids happy meals before heading to the Unit. 

Our mood and vibe are relaxed and happy. Cindy and I are convinced everything is fine back home and we are enjoying our new friends.

Jennifer and I walk into the unit leaving our families parked side by side to wait on us.

Arriving in check in, the chaplain leads us to the visitation area. Jennifer is excited and nervous. This is completely normal for my clients. I’m every Clients mother. The handwritten vows are emotional and beautiful. It’s 3:00PM. 

At exactly 3.30PM, Jennifer and I will walk back to our families and our cars parked side by side. After showing our families the Unit photos, I escort Jennifer back to her car beside mine and visit for a few minutes before heading black to Fort Worth. 

At 4:11PM, we pull into Loves. Maddy wants milk. Maddy is also going nuts inside the truck stop and we spend at least five minutes longer than we planned to chasing her around. 

At 4:20PM, we are loaded back into my SUV when I first see the text. Sitting in the Loves Truck Stop parking lot, Cindy, I and Leigh Ann are NOW in an all out panic. 

By the time we arrive at Cooks, we are emotional basket cases. Cindy and I cannot stop crying. We are crushed. Devastated. Broken. 

Friday morning, Cindy and Stephaney are at the hospital with Makenna. Leigh Ann, Maddy and I are headed to Bridgeport, Texas. 

It’s difficult to put Makenna out of my mind and focus on the client but, I do. I’m an excellent actress. I’ve had 38 years of experience in front of a camera and I’m not going to ruin Michelle’s wedding day by being upset. 

Instead, I must put Makenna, my twin and Stephaney as well as my fear aside. It’s an invisible box in my mind. I put things away I can’t deal with until I can. I’ve done this since I was a child. 

Michelle had wanted a hair and makeup artist but, we couldn’t find anyone available. I decided that I would do her hair and makeup myself. 

Leigh Ann and I arrived at 9:30AM at Michelle’s hotel room. The wedding was scheduled at 11AM. No one looking at these photos could see my heartache. 

Again, I’m an excellent actress and have often had to put away or compartmentalize issues that would otherwise affect my demeanor or performance “on duty.”  While Leigh Ann chases Maddy in the hotel room and checks her equipment, I realize that I have no idea how to apply false eyelashes. Luckily, Michelle accepts this and we pack up the room to head to Bridgeport Unit.

Leigh Ann and Maddy wait in my SUV. Walking into the Unit to check in, Michelle is nervous but wearing red Air Jordan’s that go perfectly with her wedding dress.We have 20 minutes “inside the Unit.” Michelle is so nervous that I read her handwritten vows for her. 

Walking back out to my SUV, I’ve already chosen photography locations and head there with Michelle behind me.I’ve checked in with Cindy en route to downtown Bridgeport. I had packed furs and tiaras with numerous other items for fun photos. Leigh Ann is still working on the edits.

Leaving Bridgeport to Cook’s Childrens Hospital. I stop at a corner market for hospital snacks and milk for Maddy. 

I’m weary. I’m mentally exhausted and I can finally cry away from my client. Leigh Ann knows my fear. My uncertainty. My inability to know what lies next for Makenna and my family. Leigh Ann and I are both crying driving into Fort Worth. We are scared. I know everyone in my family is terrified and questioning how we were unaware of this situation? Guilt haunts us. 

Arriving at Cook’s to relieve Cindy and Stephaney to go downstairs and eat, my grandniece is still on the heart floor and under observation. Maddy runs and jumps onto Makenna’s bed. Makenna is happy to see Maddy. It’s the first time since Thursday I’ve seen Makenna smile. 

Cindy is obviously exhausted and can barely walk after trying to sleep in a straight backed chair. Cindy has 13lbs of steel fusing her spine and nueropathy from an accident that nearly killed her in our 20’s. Cindy and Stephaney refuse to leave the hospital at night. 

I’ve offered to stay overnight at Cook’s but my sister and niece won’t give up a night shift. They are weary and disheveled. My sister forgets what day it is? They are running together. Lack of sleep has affected my entire family. I forget where I park over and over. 

My sister is beyond exhausted. I read Makenna a story while Leigh Ann takes Maddy to the playroom. I then begin a rotating written schedule for my family members to tag in and out while giving everyone sufficient time for my son and his wife as well as Leigh Ann and myself to get to client events throughout the weekend. My tears run the ink on my day timer. I had no idea the energy to cry was still in me. 

I’m terrified. I’m always in control but I cannot control this situation. I’m OCD. I’m a planner but nothing prepared me for this. Cindy and I have spent two years visiting our relatives at Psych Wards. Once Makenna is released, we will continue to do so. This time at Mesa Springs. We are equally apprehensive about having the capacity to walk in happy, hopeful and positive to visit Makenna. 

We must prepare and get our act together. Deep breaths in the parking lot. Know your mark. Hide your fear. You are ON. We’ve done this at 4 different Psych Wards over the past two years. Cindy and I have been screened in as if we were entering a prison unit. Entering a Psych Ward is remarkably similar. The vending machines are a focal point to inmates as well as patients. Bring quarters. 

Cindy and I are now professional Psych Ward visitors. We’ve had plenty of practice. Cindy’s daughter, Stephaney has been involuntarily committed 16 times. 

The family members visiting Psych Wards are similar to visitors at Cooks. Everyone is uncertain. Shell shocked. Battle worn and weary. We all walk hunched over. A building of zombies. Our fear leads us through the days, nights and afternoons. Haunted eyes and grimaced faces walk the halls.

Saturday morning, I feel my blood pressure go up. I have low blood pressure but, I’m a mirror image twin. I know Cindy hasn’t taken her blood pressure pills. I can feel it. I call her. I’m right. She’s forgotten them and my key to her house is in her bathroom. The same bathroom Maryssa found Makenna in. I call Tom Thumb Pharmacy and explain why my twin doesn’t have her medication. Medication I just filled less than a week ago. I’m crying on this phone call. Explaining where Makenna is hurts me deeply. 

The pharmacist agrees to give me four pills to get Cindy through the weekend and I will call Dr Richwine to get a refill on Monday. The pharmacist tells me her son committed suicide and she will never recover. She’s crying too. 

Leaving Tom Thumb, I see an elderly lady being mugged a few blocks away. I pull over and grab my mace to scare off the attackers. I put the woman, Ginger in my SUV and give her water while calling 911. 

The police arrive. They ask “weren’t you scared getting involved?” I answer “not at all. You don’t know where I’ve been or what I’ve been through.” I describe the assaulants fully and completely from their clothing to height and weight descriptions. I also fill out a witness report and I wait on an ambulance for my new friend, Ginger. I text Cindy and Leigh Ann to let them know I’ve been delayed. Ginger is elderly and fragile. She’s also homeless. I discuss where I can find her shelter after treatment and give her my business card. Medstar transports her due to the head injury she’s suffered at the hands of two thugs. 

Arriving at Cook’s, Makenna’s heart is still struggling. It’s now been 3 days since our lives were changed forever. My Pampas Unit bride calls me. I put her on my schedule. My Ellis Unit client calls me regarding being removed from visitation. She’s crying and upset. She drove to the Unit only to be turned away. I explain the appeal process and timeline to file an appeal just outside Makenna’s room. 

I will also help Naquitia file with the DRC and Courts on Monday. I’ve memorized TDCJ procedure. I know things that surprise my clients. I must. It’s my job. 

I take another call from a Belltower Chapel client and the “observers” in Makenna’s room wonder why my phone never stops ringing to each other. They talk about my family and Makenna in front of us. I view this as highly unprofessional. No one has sent a psychologist. No one has bothered to check on Makenna’s muscle spasms. I go out and call the administrator. I file a complaint about this “openly discussing Makenna in front of her.”

My clients and my family and now even Ginger are all a part of my life. My life requires multitasking. Cell phones and electronic devices are not allowed in Makenna’s room. 

Apparently, observers watching Makenna are failing to document her legs uncontrollably shaking or the fact that a clinical psychologist has never even entered her room continue to infuriate me. I continue to bring her depression and muscle spasms up to the observers. I continue to ask where the child psychologist is? I continue to ask the observers not to discuss Makenna, her story or her family in front of her. I want her moved as soon as her heart stabilizes. I continue to call Mesa Springs myself. 

My sister now has her high blood pressure medicine. I worry this stress will give her a heart attack and I fear losing Cindy. It is my greatest fear. My twin is my best friend. My twin is my partner. My twin and I have never had an easy life or path. There have been times that we have lost our faith. There have been times we’ve felt that God was testing our faith. There have also been times that we’ve realized that hardship rather than defining us instead empowered us. Ours is not an easy life. We must hold steadfast. 

Sunday morning, I check in with Leigh Ann before meeting clients at Belltower. I’m stressed but I shake it off. I’m a professional. I dig deep to find peace and remind myself that it’s my clients day. They deserve my best. All of them do. I give it to them. Show girl smile ready, I enter the Chapel, officiate the wedding, smile for photos and run back to Cook’s. I also cry in my SUV. I don’t know how much longer I can act normal. 

Sunday afternoon, the doctor comes in to talk to me. Cindy and Stephaney are home bathing and changing clothes. I’ve just “tagged my husband out.” Makenna’s heart has stabilized. It’s time to send paperwork to Mesa Springs. Makenna will be moved to a Psych Ward for depression and suicidal ideation. The “Psych Ward Visit Cycle” will begin again for the Texas Twins. 

I call Mesa Springs again and explain what happened. I then put Makenna on the list for a bed. Cindy and I will be back bouncing from a Psych Ward to work and clients while trying to act normal. We will be actresses on our marks and taking our cues. We will pray that Makenna realizes her value. We will cry alone away from clients and family. We will move forward putting our painful past behind us and we will find hope that one day we are never visiting another relative in a Psych Ward but, we will also be prepared for the possibility. We now know that life and mental illness are chaotic. Unpredictable. Unplanned. Frustrating. 

I roll into a parking space to relieve Cindy and Stephaney for dinner AKA to tag them out. A family member must be present at all times in the room. Tagging out is the only break. Beside me, I see a woman crying in her vehicle. I walk over and ask “what’s wrong? Can I help you?” I’ve realized that many parents and grandparents cry in public bathrooms at Cook’s or the parking garage. No one cries in front of their loved ones including my family. We wear a mask. We hide our pain. We shuffle about in wrinkled clothing from sleeping on chairs or roll a way beds and we are effectively prisoners of war to save our children. Everyone is the same here. The despair. The grief. The anxiety. 

The lady in the car next to me opens her door. “My daughter is here. I’m divorced. I’m afraid I will lose my job. My ex won’t come and sit with her.” I open my trunk and get her a bottle of water. She has a heavy cross to bear. 

I get in her SUV and ask “when was the last time you ate?” She can’t remember. She’s been struggling to save money for parking. I tell her “drive out and drive back in. Get a new ticket. Parking is free on weekends.” This surprises her. But, it’s something I’ve shared with others. Not refreshing their parking ticket runs into hundreds of dollars. The cafeteria is expensive and the food is nothing to write home about. My new friend, Mary joins me at Camelot Court. I buy her dinner and sit with her. I also give her my card. We will be moving to Mesa Springs and I worry about her. 

My other new friend, the victim of a mugging on Saturday, Ginger is at Harris Hospital. I’ve been feeding her feral cats since Saturday night. I call her and let her know they are okay. 

I’m bone weary but also help a man find the B elevators who is lost, uncertain and afraid. When we get to the third floor, he turns to me and says “I’m not ready. I’m afraid. I don’t know what I’m walking into.” I grab his hand and tell him “I will walk with you. You aren’t alone. Everyone here is afraid. Everyone here is tired and anxious. Everyone here has a child they are concerned about.” I walk him to the room where he “tags out” his daughter and show him where to find coffee. Tell him the hours of the cafeteria and get him a blanket and pillow. He’s going to be okay. I will check on him again and my new friend Mary tomorrow. 

Hopefully, Ginger is released from Harris tomorrow as I’m at Coffield and Beto Units in Tennessee Colony Tuesday. I’m also meeting a pregnant woman in Corsicana who contacted me about letting Burt and Deanna adopt her baby. She’s not in a position to keep her baby and heard I was trying to help my former clients find a child to love. Burt and Deanna don’t care what color the child is. They know that any child is a gift from God. They are good people. I married them four years ago. I baptized Baby DeLilah and officiated her memorial. 

The tragedy of losing a child isn’t lost on me. I’ve witnessed the pain. I’ve prayed with the families to find strength and I’ve cried silent tears alone in my SUV. I don’t understand why children are taken far too soon. I never will. 

Being a parent teaches you resilience. You will jump in front of a train to protect your child. Parenting doesn’t end at 18. In fact, it never ends. Being a parent, grandparent of guardian is the hardest job you will ever have. You will become stronger for it. You will become more resilient and you will become dedicated to forsaking your own needs in order to care for another. Trust me. 

Cindy and I are everyone’s mother. From clients to strangers, there isn’t anyone we wouldn’t try to help. Why? Because we’ve never had anyone to help us aside from each other and our husbands. 

Hardship can define you or empower you. Love is sacrifice. We pray Makenna learns to love herself. We pray that others won’t take advantage of her and we pray thanks that she sent those texts to Cindy and I. We pray for strength in the journey ahead. We pray for guidance and finally we pray we can find it in our hearts to forgive Michael for pushing Makenna into thinking her life wasn’t worth living. Over someone she knew less than two weeks? We will though pursue criminal charges against Michael to prevent this from happening to anyone else’s child. 

Teenagers are fragile. They are impressionable and they are easily hurt. Please check your children’s phones. Find out who they are talking to and more importantly, what they are talking about. 

Seventh grade was too stressful for Makenna. Her twin, Maryssa is social. Makenna isn’t. Cindy and I homeschooled Makenna in 7th and part of 8th grade. Makenna asked to return to public school a few months ago. Had she been safe at home away from bullies this wouldn’t have happened to our family but Makenna felt isolated in homeschooling. 

Tomorrow I’m up at 4AM to tag Cindy and Stephaney out. Tomorrow, I’m helping my Ellis Unit Client file an appeal with the Courts and DRC. Tomorrow I’m packing for a day back in Tennessee Colony and tomorrow I’m praying Mesa Springs has a bed for Makenna… 

TDCJ Weddings & Adventures With Wendy Wortham- Green Bay To Hughes To Hutchins Unit…

I have several clients waiting on I60’s and although the waiting is the hardest part, when the Chaplain calls to schedule your wedding, please answer unknown calls as it may very well be the Unit calling. Last week, I declined an unknown call myself. Thankfully, the Beto Chaplain left a message to return his call. 

Wednesday morning as I loaded up my SUV to meet two clients on my way to Hughes Unit, Cindy and I were still laughing about the two headed fur we took in trade from Huntsville and what we were going to do with it. “Maddy thinks it’s a stuffed animal and the twins are horrified.” 

If you missed our Huntsville adventure, here’s the blog link– The Pawning Planners On Location. More Flips, Swaps & Barters.

I haven’t had time to shock my furniture reupholstering connection yet with this “latest flip.” Terry will either tell me to trash it or tailor it to remove both heads and the legs. It will be a “wait and see” situation.

Occasionally our Flips ARE Flops instead but, since we don’t limit creative requests, we certainly do have a few hilarious adventures on site at Appraisal Appointments. 

Cindy was covering Jack County Jail clients as well as Parker County and my son was at Green Bay Unit with clients while my niece, Leigh Ann was finishing editing on photos from Tarrant County Jail bride, Payton. I would be “flying solo down the back roads” with Skynard, Donna Summers, ELO, Elton John and the Bee Gee’s keeping my company today. 

Checking in with Cheyenne, I let her know that I was taking the back roads in order to meet two clients on my way to Hughes Unit who wanted help buying their marriage licenses. I map out my travels to accommodate such requests on a regular basis. 

Country towns have creative signage. One air conditioning sign had me laughing out loud remembering my twin sisters firm belief that “hillbillies are geniuses.” The sign? “Do you have a HOT WIFE? Service your A/C and cool her off.” I bet that guy was even funnier in person. 

Passing by the Dairy Queen sign, I thought about my brother in law, Steve Daniel who has fond memories of riding his bike to DQ and fishing on the river in San Antonio. I loved the “howdy ya all” sign. Welcome to the friendly and fun back roads of Texas! The courthouse I was meeting my first client at looked like a Gothic mansion with the overcast sky behind it. 

Settled in a small town with many of the stores closed down, sadly the expensive building was surrounded by smaller shops that had most likely (years ago) had been thriving with customers. The irony wasn’t lost on me. This courthouse ruled the center of Meridian, Texas. After helping my client get her license, I jumped back in to my SUV to head to Coryell County Courthouse and sent Cindy a text from my navigation. 

My Crain Unit client has been having difficulty buying his license and after numerous phone calls back and forth, I had scheduled him into my day to address his apprehension by accompanying him to buy the license. I actually do this for clients frequently by “working them into my road trips to prisons.” 

My timeline to meet my Crain Unit client was perfect since the courthouse was fairly close to Hughes Unit and mapping out meetings is essential to accommodating my schedule and my clients. 

Driving down 6, I sent Cindy a pic of a “report poaching sign.” I’d never seen one before. 

Cindy called me and asked “was that a poaching sign posted? I haven’t seen one of those in years.” I send road trip text photos all of the time if Cindy isn’t with me laughing about the things we see rolling down the road. 

My sister can name every type of cow and admire a ranch fence like nobody else I know. Why? Because while I was traveling the world modeling, Cindy was building a dairy brick by brick in Gordon, Texas. 

Cindy is far more “country” than I will ever be. We are Compensating Personality Twins as are Cindy’s twin granddaughters. It’s rare. Cindy loves “educating me” about goats, horses and cattle on our back roads journeys across Texas and Louisiana as well as Oklahoma. I think all cows look alike. But, Cindy loves to tell me what makes them different. 

I always gas up because finding gas stations can be tricky on back roads. 

By the time, I rolled into Coryell County, Christina had sent me a text regarding running a little behind which perfectly fit my schedule to meet my Crain Unit client before heading to Hughes. 

Arriving at Hughes, I let Christina know where I would be in the parking lot while fielding texts and phone calls from other prison wedding clients. My phone never stops ringing. I dabbed on light makeup as the guard tower watched me change shoes, fix my hair and finally leave my SUV to walk to the main entrance. Lipstick and tinted glasses when leaving WorthamWorld early along with a ponytail are my usual attire. Flip flops are changed into dress shoes once I arrive at a Unit. I always wear a suit to Prisons. 

Sadly, the status of the inmate hadn’t been changed from G4 to G2 which meant he would be behind glass. This upset my client but, it’s my job to calm my clients and I did. Had we known ahead of time the status change would be delayed, we could have rescheduled the wedding but, these things can and do happen. 

No one likes marrying with glass separating them. Christina didn’t either but, we overcame the disappointment of having her fiancée behind the glass and enjoyed a wonderful visit prior to the ceremony. Since Christina didn’t want photos posted, I posed with her husband and bought photos of all three of us as well as one of her and her husband before leaving the Unit for her to keep. 

Headed to Huntsville again, I thought of all the times I’ve driven to Gatesville the past two years. A city that two years ago, I had never heard of that literally is compromised of mostly inmates and prisons. 

It’s shocking how frequently I drive to Gatesville. Many of the Units house females although Hughes Unit is a male Unit surrounded by female Units. Other than Hughes Unit, the majority of my Gatesville clients are males marrying females.San Saba Unit is also a female Unit I frequently make trips to as is Hobby. 

The Hobby Unit clients booking with us are predominantly females marrying females. Since I’m always asked about this, yes, it’s legal for a male to marry a male or a female to marry a female. This question continues to confuse me. The Units I marry inmates in are located in the United States. 

I have no idea why this question comes up pertaining to inmate marriage since same sex marriage has been legal for years now in the United States. 

Tennessee Colony is also one of those towns and a regular trip for my niece, Leigh Ann or I to meet a client at their Prison Wedding. 

Beto, Michael, Coffield and Gurney are regular trips month after month. Tennessee Colony like Gatesville and Huntsville is a “city of prisons.”

I had a surprising text out of the blue from one of my former production company friends asking “are you and Cindy under contract?” I advised Kristen “no, we are too busy for film projects and we’ve expanded inmate weddings to cover several states. 

My niece, Leigh Ann and my stepsister, Tammy are going to be taking on California Prison Weddings by August 2019 with my son and his wife focusing on Oklahoma, Louisiana and Arkansas. 

Due to my schedule with traditional as well as prison clients and Pawning Planners Clients, Cindy and I will continue to travel while focusing more on Texas and Louisiana when not traveling for destination bookings through Texas Twins Events.” 

The truth is that although I’m consistently contacted regarding show concepts and inquiries, our clients will always be our priority. Cindy and I put everything we have into taking care of our clients. 

If and when we have the time to take on the task of filming, it won’t be during wedding season. The reason for this is our time. 

Prison weddings and traditional bookings during wedding season leave Cindy and I no time for Skype, voice overs, sizzle reels, conference calls and other time consuming tasks that production companies require. Flying off to pitch meetings in season is out the question for the Texas Twins. 

Arriving back at my home office and preparing my suit for Hutchins Unit, I check in with my niece, Leigh Ann who will be handling photography Thursday for Brandy after her inmate wedding at Hutchins while juggling phone calls, emails and text messages. 

In this type of business, responding quickly and promptly is essential. I respond every 2-3 hours to clients and keep them updated. Clients are anxious. The process to marry an inmate can run from 3-6 weeks or in unusual situations like Torres Unit, over a year. Inmates being moved are generally the reason. 

Bouncing from an appointment with my grandniece, Makenna at Cooks Childrens Hospital for her dermatology appointment and meeting Cindy to take Makenna back to school before parking Leigh Ann’s SUV for her to jump into mine and head to Hutchins Unit. We all have suvs to carry numerous props for photo shoots except my son who drives a 4X4 truck. All of our vehicles are black which makes it easier for clients to find us in jail or prison parking lots. 

My twin grandnieces, Maryssa and Makenna like Cindy and I have completely different health issues. Maryssa unlike Makenna had Precocious Puberty. Makenna unlike Maryssa has eczema and psoriasis. Completely different health issues is unusual for identical twins but, Cindy has had none of my health issues and I’ve had none of hers. 

Makenna is trying a new steroid cream for her outbreaks and we’ve added bleach baths to the mix after her dermatologist suggested it to Cindy and I at her latest appointment.My youngest grandniece, Madyson is a ball of fire and not a twin. Maddy is three and a half but her first two years were spent with hearing issues we were unaware of. 

Maddy has been in speech therapy after ear surgery last year and is now making great strides with verbal communication. Maddy also has wildly curly and unnameable hair. 

My niece, Leigh Ann is the only person in our entire family with curly hair that she regularly flat irons. As a child, Leigh Ann was nicknamed, Shirley Temple due to her reddish curly hair. Maddy looks just like Leigh Ann did years ago. 

Leigh Ann started photography shortly after the birth of Maddy and has worked with me for years. You can trust my niece to make your day as special as you are. 

Like my entire family, Leigh Ann treats each and every client like her only client. From officiating traditional events and ceremonies to inmate weddings and photography, Leigh Ann loves working with our diverse client bases. Maddy also often “jumps in” on photo shoots with clients. 

Did I anticipate our services as inmate wedding Officiants to expand and compromise the largest portion of our bookings? No. Who would? But, this diverse client base has become my favorite type of client. Why? Because unlike our other clients, the clients marrying inmates are far more passionate and thankful for our help making their Dream Event a reality that’s why. 

The interest by media and production companies regarding our prison wedding clients continues to surprise me but, none of my clients are familiar with television and I’m very protective of their journey. 

Standard reality contracts would take advantage of our clients who are often unaware of what the “talent” would actually be giving up if they werent educated by us about reality television and more importantly, standard reality contracts with production companies. 

Thankfully though, Cindy and I are “very familiar with standard reality contracts” and more than happy to educate our clients regarding the pros and cons of reality tv. Our clients are our priority. Thirty percent of them don’t want others to know they are marrying an inmate. In fact, we don’t publish photos in order to protect their privacy as a courtesy.

I’m a multitask expert at all times but taking on filming is simply too much “in season” for me. Cindy and I haven’t had a day off in months. 

Driving in to the guard gate at Hutchins Unit, my Hughes Unit bride called me to check on the status of her marriage license being recorded. I had sent it to San Antonio via 2 day priority mail on my way home from Hughes Unit and quickly tracked the envelope sitting in the parking lot and let her know it would arrive Friday at the clerks office today before 3PM. She was relieved that I sent it with tracking but, I send every marriage license with tracking unless I’m filing it in person. I’m OCD. 

Parking my SUV, I sent a text to Brandy from the Hutchins parking lot to meet me at reception, I left Leigh Ann in my SUV. Brandy looked beautiful. 

Going in to reception, we encountered a secretary who “didn’t know anything about a wedding today. I don’t have an I60.”  Brandy was immediately upset. Who wouldn’t be. We had scheduled this wedding three weeks ago. Once again though, it’s my job to comfort my clients and stay in control. I had Brandy sit down and told the secretary to find the Chaplain. 

Apparently, both Chaplains have retired at Hutchins which was a bit of a problem and thankfully, the volunteer Chaplain, Mike knew what was going on and where the original I60 was. The volunteer, Mike sent a guard to the law library to find a copy of the original I60 to give to the wardens office. This took nearly an hour. 

When waiting on a prison wedding, the wait can be up in the air. From our escorts to locating the inmate to moving to the location, I can be in a Unit 1-2 hours. Rarely though, I’ve waited three hours. It happens. 

When my client and I were finally escorted to the visitation area, my client was thrilled to finally see her fiancée! Although getting to him was exasperating, the wait was worth the joy I witnessed between my couple. 

The stress and setbacks leading up to a prison wedding for clients is the hardest part of the process. Once the wedding is performed though, their relief is evident. Finally, they are married. FINALLY. 

As usual though, the Unit photos were blurry and dissapointing. I had purchased 3. We left one with the Groom and I gave 1 to the bride and kept the photo below. Thanks to Texas humidity, my hair is a hot mess. I had cut my own bangs in my SUV again. Ugh. Wish I had time for a process haircut but it won’t be “in season.” 

Walking out of the Unit, Brandy and I both were surprised at her grainy wedding photos BUT that’s why I pack an entire SUV full of bouquets, tiaras, clothing, furs and more. That’s right. Brandy was going to have a great day with Leigh Ann and I less than 3 miles from Hutchins.

I believe everyone should be able to celebrate their wedding day and my photo shoot and rolling photo booth ensure that they do. Cindy and I had found the blue fur at a junk shopping after leaving San Saba Unit. The fur was a perfect match to Brandy’s outfit. 

We think of everything. Photography by http://www.facebook.com/maddieandmephotography. 

The mahogany fur stole Cindy and I found junk shopping after leaving McConnell Unit a few weeks ago. We are always shopping for client photo shoot ideas, props and fun items. 

Leigh Ann can’t wait to finish editing Brandy’s photos and I can wait to see them. When her husband is released, Brandy is also rebooking us to perform their Vow Renewal. We are looking forward to another celebration of joy and freedom long after Lock Up…. 

TDCJ Officiant Wendy Wortham Work, Travel, Transportation, Tantrums & Tiaras…

I sleep very little during wedding season. For years, my Team and I “caught a break” off season to address refurbishing trades from Pawning Planners Clients sold at Texas Twins Treasures. Inmate wedding services changed our “off season.” How so? We no longer have an off season and are booked year round. Prison weddings took the place of “off season” for the Texas Twins.

A few folks (including my competitors) wonder how on earth my first Prison wedding literally shifted our client base 300 percent?  

The answer my friends is NOT BY ADVERTISING. The answer is by exceeding clients expectations, earning their trust and gaining their loyalty. 

A few of our competitors are jealous of our success but, “you can’t profit from the harvest if you don’t plant the crops.” 

In April 2017, Misty emailed me regarding performing a Prison wedding at Sanders Estes Unit. I underwent the process to become an Approved Officiant in order to help Misty. 

I have never marketed myself or paid for advertising in the event industry. I HAVE NEVER NEEDED TO ADVERTISE PRISON OFFICIANT SERVICES either. 

Due to this new expansion of our services at Texas Twins Events, I didn’t anticipate the surge in new bookings because at the time, I was unaware that the market and subsequent demand for inmate weddings even existed. 

But, A few months after Misty’s wedding at Estes Unit in April 2017, I was with another client at Michael Unit in September 2017. 

In October 5, 2017, I was with three clients at Estes Unit. By October 7, 2017, I was with another client at Ferguson Unit. 

By December 28, 2017, I was at Darrington with a client who had originally been at Jester Unit and hired Jo Anne (a competitor) to officiate her ceremony.  

This same client told me “Jo Anne can’t officiate so she told me her sister would but the Warden won’t allow her to. I need someone to marry me.” She hired Jo Anne but now Jo Anne was telling the client her sister would officiate? What was going on with my competitors?

The Jester inmate was subsequently transferred to Darrington. I drove to Darrington and married the client who wanted a reliable Officiant after being run around by my competitor. As usual, I exceeded her expectations and provided prison wedding Officiant services. 
My goal and the main reason for starting Texas Twins Events was to help people. By helping Misty with a creative request for services, over the first year of performing inmate services, bookings continued to roll in. I didn’t need to advertise Prison Weddings. I leveled the playing field in an industry that prior to me was charging exhorbitant fees to consumers simply because they wanted to marry an inmate. While my competition was being greedy, dishonest and misleading, I was being honest, affordable and most importantly, reliable. 

Prior to prison weddings, I had been in the event business many years prior to expanding my business to include prison weddings and had never advertised our services and more importantly, didn’t need to long before offering inmate Officiant services. 

Frankly, at the time Misty contacted me to marry her, I was juggling 50-75 existing through Texas Twins Events as well as being an Officiant on staff at Bell Tower Chapel and addressing clients Bartering through my sister business, The Pawning Planners. 

I was also a consultant for GLG and under contract with my twin sister with production companies and filming numerous projects at the same time within the same window. 

I.E. I was busy but, if people needed help marrying an inmate, I was willing to find time to help them. Since prison weddings are scheduled Monday through Friday leaving my weekends free for traditional and existing bookings, I easily could take on more inmate weddings and did. 

Prison weddings were a “perfect fit” to my existing schedule and more importantly, didn’t interfere with existing client bookings on evenings and weekends. 

Although I wasn’t “marketing inmate Officiant services,” word of mouth expanded my inmate Officiant business over and over from April 2017 to now. In fact, we now cover several states. 

Jo Anne (a competitor) had began trolling my sites since 2017 and following me. Although Jo Anne had been performing prison weddings for two years longer than I have and should have built her reputation, she had disappointed the previous clients who subsequently hired me instead. 

Over two years and running now, Jo Anne also recognized and realized that she was  losing her clients to me. I didn’t steal her clients. Her clients like everyone else found me. If you lose a client to a competitor, you lost them based on your own behavior. 

With the Darrington and Stiles clients, Jo Anne couldn’t perform their weddings due to being rescinded. I called her about “this issue” myself since her previous clients continued to find and more importantly, hire me. 

Throughout this two year window, more and more clients would book with me although again it should be noted that I never advertised to generate new clients. 

Clients found me because they had heard about me or because the other Officiant they had hired let them down. Unlike my competitors, I didn’t let anyone down. I treat each and every client like the star they are. 

One sunny afternoon while I was on site with a client at Belltower Chapel & Garden,  another call (and previous client of Jo Anne) came in regarding a wedding at Stiles Unit from yet another person who had hired Jo Anne and was unhappy. “She doesn’t answer her phone and when she does, I can’t get any information. “I hired her but I’ve heard about you. Will you help me?” 

Stiles Unit is an all day drive to and  from my location in Fort Worth. However, after speaking with this young lady, I committed to marrying her myself. 

I also advised this young lady to call the Courts in Huntsville to verify whether Jo Anne was approved. The new to me client called me back to tell me “Jo Anne wasn’t Approved.” 

Due to this shocking information regarding my competitor, I called Huntsville myself. My client was right. I quickly posted the contact information to the Courts in Huntsville on my FB business and personal sites in order to warn ANYONE planning to marry an inmate in Texas to verify Officiant credentials with the Courts PRIOR to retaining an Officiant. 

Immediately following my FB warning post, one of Jo Anne’s “clown posse” called the Courts in Huntsville to “file an erroneous and false complaint” against me regarding my simply stating the facts regarding  my warning to anyone considering hiring a TDCJ Officiant. 

Of course, a false and erroneous complaint from my competitor, Jo Anne and her posse regarding my honest statement had no impact whatsoever on my stellar reputation with the Courts in Huntsville. 

Heads up folks I’m nothing if not blatantly honest. I went into this business to help people. Jo Anne HAD BEEN IN THE PRISON WEDDING business for two years prior to me. Jo Anne has had every opportunity to be a success at this point. 

I wasn’t promoting myself or advertising to TDCJ bookings and I wouldn’t need to. Honesty and client satisfaction built my Prison wedding client base. 

Obviously, Jo Anne and her sidekicks false complaint regarding me warning consumers to call and verify credentials neither impacted or impeded my credentials in Huntsville. “We have other Officiants and I’m calling the Courts to file a complaint against your post regarding Jo Anne.” Sound familiar Jo Anne? 

You know, my post about people needing to know whoever they hired was QUALIFIED to perform the job they had been hired to do in the first place? If the truth bothered you, why didn’t you advise people retaining your services that you couldn’t perform their ceremony in the first place? If you hadn’t let your clients down and they hadn’t found me, I also wouldn’t have known there was an issue with your credentials either. Think about it. 

Our prison Officiant and planning business have literally boomed regardless of the sneaky tactics Jo Anne and her “clown posse” continue to pull. 

In February 2018, I was at Coffield Unit when a call came in from someone who needed an Officiant at Hodge Unit who had originally hired Jo Anne. These continued victims of my competitors continued to find me. I knew there was a problem because my new clients told me what they had been through dealing with my competition. Unlike my competitors though, I made their former clients day at a prison seemless, pleasant and memorable. 

In March 2018, I was at Hutchins Unit with another client when as usual my site was being consistently visited by Jo Anne. 

In March, I was also at Beto Unit when my website Team advised me that Splendora, Texas continued to hit my sites. I track every visitor to all of my sites. Jo Anne began paying for placement on google. 

Cindy and I flew to California to film This Time Next Year with Cat Deeley while also working destination events booked through Texas Twins Events. I.E. we were too busy to worry about Jo Anne. In fact, we always have been. 

We HAVE never been too busy to save clients who hired the wrong Officiant before coming to us. We MAKE time for people who need help. For Jo Anne’s former clients, we’ve made time again and again. 

In April 2018 I was back at Estes Unit before travelling to Stiles Unit on April 19, 2018 and marrying  the bride who needed my help AFTER hiring Jo Anne first.  

Since becoming a TDCJ Officiant April 2017, due to the number of clients coming to us for help, we have rebranded and expanded to address the growing need for inmate wedding services. I’ve been the second Officiant over and over because the first Officiants AKA my competitors have consistently let their former clients down. These “other Officiants” could have done the right thing and chose not to. They also lost their clients to me because they failed to provide services they had been paid to perform. 

A few days ago, Jo Anne drove traffic from her own page to my page by tagging me on FB.” While booking in these new clients, I asked “how did you hear about us? We have never advertised. So, can I ask who it was that referred you?” 

The shocking answer of my new clients and how they found me over the past few days was ironically not from previous client referrals but instead from my competitor? Jo Anne. 

While Jo Anne was busy talking about me on FB as well as tagging me, she was also inadvertently promoting me. Amazing isn’t it? 

New bookings that had never even heard of TDCJ Officiant, Texas Twins Events or Wendy Wortham until my competitors couldn’t stop talking about me? Finding me due to posts from my competition about me? Increased traffic that crashed my site due to my competitors? 

Ironically, because life is ironic, my site crash and subsequent “new Prison bookings” wouldn’t have happened this week without “help” from my competitor, Jo Anne. 

In March of 2018, I decided to buy a trademark for Texas Prison Weddings. By September 2018, I realized that I had hired the wrong attorney to do so. I was never interested in limiting myself to Texas in the first place. 

I decided to abandon my March 2018 trademark filing and focus on clients in several states instead. Texas Twins Events is national so why limit ourselves? 
Since all of our services including prison wedding services are available in several states, I knowingly and willingly abandoned the trademark for Texas Prison Weddings. My competitor subsequently picked it up. 

The trademark was approved for Jo Anne a just a few days ago, my competitor aka Jo Anne cannot stop talking about me or stalking me. But, everyone is listening including prospective new bookings. While Jo Anne is busy talking I’m busy working. I don’t care about that trademark and gave it up knowingly, willingly and intentionally. 

Trademarks don’t earn you business. Only you can do that. Limiting myself and my staff to Texas? NEVER. We travel baby. 

The inept trademark attorney I had hired to file the trademark was a blessing in disguise. How so? The name would have “put me in a box of only performing prison weddings in Texas” but, fate and my ability to overcome obstacles along with a dash of divine intervention and entrepreneurship are why and how I didn’t care about a trademark or a name that would have effectively limited our audience and subsequently, our services to Texas. 

I effectively threw that “geographically limiting” Prison trademark idea straight into the trash instead. 

Prison weddings occur even in other countries, I love to travel and I love to meet new friends. Worldwide prison weddings? Count me and my Texas Twins Events Team in. We will see ya all at the prison! 

Our services are available to many states and our success has a few folks shaking their fists but, our success comes entirely from happy clients, referrals and stellar work ethics. Loyalty is earned. 

My competitors, spies and internet trolls should take a page from my playbook and treat each and every client with the same degree of attention that we do but, common sense is like breath spray. The people who need it the most refuse to use it and get up in your face anyway. Jo Anne’s hometown friend attempting to discredit me with an erroneous complaint regarding my honest FB post and subsequent warning  “advising anyone hiring a TDCJ Officiant to first verify their credentials with Huntsville” was surprising to say the least but the “clown posse” and their antics have continued and even accelerated the past few days. Who cares? I’m working with the clients my competition COULD HAVE HAD if they had bothered to perform the task they had initially been retained to provide. 

“Trust, Honor, & Integrity are the building blocks of success. “Your CHARACTER says a LOT about YOU, even IF you aren’t LISTENING, everybody ELSE is.”

Jo Anne followed up her FB tagging Wednesday morning with more trash talking of while I was with a traditional client in a meeting and preparing to drive to Ferguson Unit immediately afterwards.

While still with my client, a negative review  notification from someone who “just happened to be friends with my competitor, Jo Anne AND even lived in the SAME town (Splendora) as Jo Anne aka the “competitor.” The notification came through to my cell phone. 

Jo Anne and her friend “aka the derogatory reviewer” who’s never retained my services  or even spoke to me (although she said that I was rude in her review) both live in Splendora, Texas. Now Jo Anne and the clown posse were making up fake reviews. 

This “reviewer” who had never hired me or my staff or at the very least even had ANY degree of contact with Texas Twins Events OR TDCJ Officiant whatsoever apparently thought that “leaving a derogatory review for a business you’ve never had any connection to was acceptable behavior.” It isn’t. 

The first Splendora, Texas derogatory and defamatory review would later be followed up by a former client of Jo Anne’s. 

Jo Anne and her posse were too busy laughing with themselves to recognize that “tracking the common denominator of these fake reviews was being conducted” while I was driving to Ferguson Unit. 

The common denominator? Jo Anne and her FB post tagging me. Stirring the chili and getting her friends fired up to unjustly attempt to sully my name. 

Here’s a tip ladies, I keep records of every phone call. Every email. Every text message. Every visitor to ANY Wendy Wortham site and I had NEVER had any INTERACTION with EITHER OF YOU. 

Also, phony reviewers, you were both “late to the party” attempting to hide your friends list connecting you both to Jo Anne. 

The first derogatory and unscrupulous “review” was posted to my page “Prison Weddings With Wendy Wortham” was within an hour of Jo Anne tagging me on FB regarding that trademark I had let go months ago. 

Jo Anne just can’t help herself. She trolls my social media, visits my sites several times a day and even subscribes to all of my blogs. Jo Anne is obsessed with me, my twin and my staff as well as her previous clients smiling at photo shoots after we marry them. On one occasion, Jo Anne even called her former client from Hodge Unit after seeing that I had married her. WTF? 

Jo Anne is literally obsessed with me AND her former clients. But, unlike most crazy stalkers, this competitor and her “friends” weren’t going to ruin my day with their preposterous antics. 

Fake reviews from her own connections? The childishness never ends but, makes it obvious that my stalking competitor has far too much time on her hands. 

Before arriving at Ferguson Unit, one of Jo Anne’s former clients left ANOTHER derogatory review. This type of rampant stupidity is why 24 hours later, my site would crash due to heavy traffic. All because my crazy stalker wanted to draw attention to me? Yes. 

Who needs a publicist or marketing person when your stalker aka competitor Jo Anne cannot stop talking about you and subsequently directing traffic and new bookings to you. 

Hell, Jo Anne, if you keep talking about me, I’m going to be forced to hire more personnel. 

By tagging me on FB and effectively, redirecting YOUR own traffic directly to my services, aka Jo Anne had increased my bookings from 1-3 clients this past week to 12.  

Due to this “redirected traffic,” from FB tagging and trash talking of Jo Anne and her two cronies, my site crashed with an overflow of new business inquiries and bookings between 05-15-2019 to 05-17-2019. 

Had my Jo Anne NOT HAVE TAGGED ME, my newly booked clients might not have even found me on FB. After all, they were on her page FIRST.

I was at the Tarrant County clerks office Friday at 2PM helping my client, Payton get her marriage license and completely unaware of website issues when a call from a Le Blanc prospect that I had spoke with on Tuesday while driving back from San Saba Unit came in. 

Thankfully, my client was thrilled to get her license and can’t wait to get married Sunday. 

Since visitation is on certain days, Payton took the online Twogether In Texas course to waive her waiting period. 

My Le Blanc client had also attempted to follow up and contact me through TDCJOfficiant.com regarding planning her Prison wedding Wednesday while I was at Ferguson Unit. When she didn’t get an answer, she called me “I emailed you a few days ago and haven’t heard back from you.” 

Alarmed, I called my site manager to find out what was going on and resolve the issue. I would spend all night Friday contacting everyone that had attempted to use the contact us link at the same time. 

I’m really looking forward to meeting my latest bookings and especially my Le Blanc client who saved the day for me by giving me a heads up. 

Jo Anne has to have paid placement on google. She “has to” because I don’t need to and continue to outbook her over and over. 

My creative content and quality websites put me at top placement in google search engines. I’m there for free and have been all along. Paid placement? No thank you. 

My twin sister and I have filmed a television pilot based on our business, The Pawning Planners, we have signed with seven production companies regarding show concepts about our businesses and we are currently negotiating with other production companies and networks as well as writing a book and continuing to rebrand and expand. 

While juggling our numerous responsibilities, inmate wedding services have continued to grow beyond any expectation I could have anticipated. We now service inmate weddings in several states. 

Had my site not crashed due to this “redirected traffic” from Jo Anne, the timeline of the “site occurrence” wouldn’t be so “easy to pinpoint.” But, it was. My web designer tracks visitors and urls. The moment my competitor tagged me, my site traffic increased. Boomerang clients? You bet. What goes around comes around. 

I will (as usual) give these new clients the care and courtesy they should have gotten from my competitor who was far too focused on attempting to tarnish my reputation to realize what she was doing. 

Truth is always stranger than fiction. My reputation is why I’m successful. So successful that I’ve added TDCJ Officiants and expanded into other states. 

Client loyalty is a priceless commodity in business. Earn it and you won’t have time to stalk me Jo Anne. Stop trying to figure out why I’m successful and start trying to figure out how to be successful instead. I know, it’s a totally new concept but, try it. Stop stalking me and start focusing on you.

For those unaware of how I got started in the Prison wedding business, it’s actually an interesting story. A creative request to officiate a prison wedding a few years ago and my willingness to undergo the process to help a stranger literally changed the dynamics of our bookings. True story. 

I have never once even considered advertising because at the time I agreed to become a TDCJ Officiant, I already had commitments to my existing clients on the books from Texas Twins Events and The Pawning Planners. My evenings and weekends were booked out nearly two years and I didn’t see how I could possibly squeeze new clients into my schedule. 

I had expected my first prison wedding to be my last request for an inmate wedding because I didn’t realize there were other people who just like Misty needed a TDCJ Officiant. I wasn’t planning to rebrand and expand again. But, due to the demand,  it happened. Texas Twins Events expanded and rebranded a second time in five years to include inmate weddings.

Inmate weddings actually opened a new door and took us into a completely new direction. An adventure of rebranding and expanding with new business bookings based entirely on my first happy Prison Wedding client, Misty at Estes Unit. 

I helped Misty with her prison wedding and by doing so, I was gifted with new opportunities and a new direction. 

For those unaware, I merged Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create a barter option aka The Pawning Planners in 2014. As usual, Cindy and I were pioneers. No one in the events industry had ever considered bartering. We did it first. We have never been afraid to invest in ourselves or finding solutions for others. We are entrepreneurs. 

While our competitors in the events industry laughed at the Texas Twins and the idea of bartering event services, we flew to Hollywood and filmed a sizzle reel. Laughter is the best medicine other event vendors who also troll our sites. 

While our competitors stalked us, we filmed a television pilot. While others expected us to fail, we continued to expand and rebrand. WITHOUT EVER ADVERTISING! The need existed to find a way to fund Dream Events and my twin and I found a solution. The need also existed for honesty and transparency in the Prison Wedding business and again, we grew to address the requests. 

As usual, the moment other event vendors who used to laugh at our idea to create a People Over Profit based event business only to later offer a barter option, no longer laugh. We help ANY income level. 

These same vendors who thought “Prison Weddings were controversial” also thought (years ago) that being openly LBGT friendly would destroy their business are now (so they say) LBGT friendly. Better late than never ya all. 

As other event vendors hid their affiliation with LBGT clients years ago, my Texas Twins Events Team welcomed anyone from any background. Yes, we are different. We are fearless and undaunted by haters who cannot understand why our unconventional business methods are far more effective. 

How our businesses that have never advertised or paid for promotion have continued to succeeded, grow and thrive surprises everyone. Our clients are our priority. Their loyalty is why year after year we continue to grow. Surprised? Don’t be. Referrals are priceless. 

Building a client base requires YOUR dedication. Welcoming ANY client? ANY request? We have and our dedication and resilience within the events industry is a story all of its own. 

From weddings to purple unions to estate liquidation to flipping trades to prison weddings, birthday parties and baptisms, my family and I didn’t care about the people laughing. We cared about the people coming to us for help. We focused on our clients. 

We took the risks no other event vendor was willing to and we would do it all over again. We have continued to grow because our clients are family to us. They are a fabric in our lives. Our relationship doesn’t end after an event. Quite the contrary, our relationships are friendships with our former clients. 

Inmate weddings take place during the week and therefore wouldn’t interfere with existing bookings on the weekends making adding prison weddings to our services the “perfect fit.”

Since I began offering inmate wedding services, we have continued to grow based entirely on our reputation and client referrals. There is no need for me to advertise nor has there ever been. 
Cindy and I think differently than our competitors. We have never “fit a mold” and we have always educated ourselves about any aspect of any product that we have ever sold. Product knowledge is essential in ANY industry. 

My sister and I are both survivors. We left home at 15 and made our own way in life. We didn’t have friends or even family to help us. The reason we started Texas Twins Events years ago was because we didn’t have anyone to help us with our own weddings. Why not? Our mother was a heroin addict who abandoned us as children. We came from a broken family and had no friends or family to help us plan our own weddings. We started our business based on our own experiences. True story. We wanted to give people the weddings we didn’t have ourselves. 

What we DID HAVE was the tenancity to succeed. We are passionate and resilient. We are dedicated and determined. For our competitors, we are also a force to be reckoned with. Client loyalty has expanded our business year after year after year. 

For those wondering how we got here, a little background…. At 18, I was a commercial actress with Mel Tillis doing Whataburger commercials. 

When I needed nice clothing, I became a model to create a fabulous wardrobe and go into high end sales. To sell, you need to look successful and I did. To sell, you need to earn a clients trust and I did. My twin and I had no one to fall back on. We only had each other and we are the most honest salespeople you will ever meet. If we wouldn’t buy it, we didn’t sell it. 

People buy from us because they trust us and we don’t ever let them down. Cindy and I have never been afraid to roll up our sleeves or get our hands dirty either. 

The Pawning Planners (Texas Twins) can put up fences or strip, stain and reupholster trades and more. This twin team knows the value of hard and honest work. We have helped people that no one else was willing to help on more than one occasion. For YEARS. 

The broken fence (below) was a request for help from someone who had no money or barter but, needed our help. We jumped in and rented a truck to pick up free panels and poles to help someone we had never met? Yes, we most certainly did. 

You’ve never met anyone like us because we care about others. We are passionate and perseverant. Finding someone to donate panels and poles? Sure on Craigslist. 

The person contacting us for help with a broken fence didn’t have a truck. We went to Home Depot and rented one. 

The fence person came to us “because she heard we help people.” We do. Occasionally, we give insight to people in order for them to help themselves too. Cindy and I are entrepreneurs who became successful because failure was never an option. 

What made Cindy and I “different” made us sought after. We are the people we would like to meet. 

“You cannot buy a referral OR a happy client. You earn their business by dedication and exceeding their expectations. 

Throughout my life, only once have I needed to advertise and it was within an industry I had no prior experience with. What was it? Luxury car sales. I can sell anything. 

During a divorce, I needed a car and upon realizing that luxury car sales offered free demos, took a job at Cadillac. In order to gain my own client base in a wholly new career path, I used my previous experience as a former print and commercial model to run my own ads in Country clubs across Texas. This “type of advertising” had never been done before in the car sales industry but, I’m a pioneer and my creative advertising campaign paid off for me as a Cadillac salesperson. 

Direct marketing specifically to consumers that could afford to buy luxury cars was the most successful investment I had ever made at that time in my life. Even I was shocked at the success of my unique idea to market myself. I generated clients booking by appointment and I had more clients than I could handle. 

While other salesmen laughed at marketing campaign, they didn’t laugh long. Clients generated through my creative marketing campaign referred their friends and family to me. 

Within a four year window, I was awarded again and again for customer satisfaction and excellence. I retired from Cadillac “on top.” 

My reputation sold all of those vehicles. I earned the trust of my clients and their loyalty. 

After two years, I no longer needed to pay to advertise. I had more business than I could handle because I was willing to be different. To do something different. To invest in myself and stellar work ethics. I knew if I could bring clients in, I would sell and sell I did. 

I don’t fit in a box. Clients I had previously sold Cadillac’s to booked again. This time for event services. 

Former Cadillac clients book new services and ALL of our clients for Texas Twins Events, Texas Twins Treasures, The Pawning Planners and Prison Weddings ARE REFERRED CLIENTS. 

Dedication and dilligence are how we have grown year after year. Happy clients continue to refer their friends and family to us again and again. We build relationships not sales numbers. 

You can’t afford to buy loyalty or referrals. No one can. Loyalty and subsequently, referral business is earned only through building trust with a client.” 

Cindy and I stay busy with interviews. After all, there isn’t a business as versatile as ours anywhere. We especially enjoyed a radio interview together Thursday afternoon regarding people over fifty starting their own business. 

The most important aspect of any business is to expect a learning curve. I didn’t expect to rebrand and expand in order to address low income clients but the need existed and The Pawning Planners was born. I didn’t expect to rebrand and expand again to address inmate wedding services either but, a creative request for an inmate wedding is why and how Texas Twins Events rebranded and expanded again. I’m open minded. 

From rich to poor, our clients are the biggest mix of people from any background you could imagine. But, by rebranding and expanding, our services became available to any income level for any service. 

I’ve been in sales my entire life and the key to sales is building quality in the product and establishing a relationship with the client. Unlike my competitors, I have. 

Although we are based in Texas, Texas Twins Events has offered destination event services from the inception. We’ve never been limited to Texas. We have no plans to start now either. The Texas Twins Travel! 

I’m not ONLY familiar with competing businesses because at WorthamWorld, I am also familiar with competing neighbors.

Friday morning, I was kicking off my morning at 5AM, and I was surprised to see Maria (the maid next door) walking towards Foxy and I. After all, I’m trying to walk my dog in silk pajamas unnoticed. I had a long day ahead of me and wasn’t planning to deal with my entitled neighbor or her brow beaten housekeeper, Maria. 

Ninety nine percent of my neighbors don’t work. There’s a lot of “old money” in Westover Hills, TX. From old mansions to exotic cars and a 90 year old grocery store that sells items 50% or more above “traditional” grocery stores, watching maids walk from the bus to work every morning is a regular occurrence. 

I like Roy Pope Grocery and I realize convenience is expensive so, I enjoy walking to the market with a parking lot full of Maserati’s, Porsche, Mercedes and Rolls Royce vehicles. These folks could walk too but they prefer to drive and leave their cars running. 

If you were a car thief, my neighborhood is the neighborhood to “score” at. Occasionally, I will drive my Santa Fe SUV or my Nissan Rogue over to Roy Pope if I’m returning from a booking. 

My “flawless neighbors” in full makeup and fancy cars give me the stink eye though for a number of reasons but mainly because I work and they don’t. 

Also, watching film crews and clients come and go at WorthamWorld raises a few eyebrows around here. My neighbors are far from liberal or open minded. 

I occasionally pity my neighbors the same way I laugh back at my competitors who once laughed at me. The “affluent housewives” looking down on others would certainly have a fairly tough time surviving on their own should their their husband’s ever leave. I’ve seen it happen. I will see it happen again. 

I’ve never looked down my nose at anyone because I’m old and I’m wise and I happily say hello to my “Beverly Hills Wannabe” neighbors on a regular basis. 

Apparently though, my snootiest neighbor had seen me leave my driveway with Foxy  Friday morning and had sent Maria over to ask me “have you called the city about mowing the estate next door to you?” 

I (momentarily) considered marching over to my neighbors house and getting snappy but poor Maria was just a messenger. Her mistress (most likely) would take out her frustration on Maria if I had. 

A few times over the years, I’ve driven Maria home. Maria is hard working and supports her family. Maria is too good for her mistress who “likes to keep up appearances” in Westover Hills with perfect makeup and clothing to go check her mail or drive to the Country Club. She’s an Instagram neighbor. Her life on social media looks envious but, reality isn’t social media ya all. 

Insta life and real life are far from the same. My neighbor is most likely depressed and struggling with alcoholism. I remind myself daily to pity her rather than resent her but, her treatment of Maria bothers me to no an end. 

If I ever cave in and allow my husband to hire a maid, I’m going to save Maria from being under the thumb of my neighbor. The house next door to me upsets everyone in my neighborhood. But not to the point of them taking any action other than telling my husband or I to “do something about it.” They all have lawn men and could easily send their workers over but, have never done so. Instead, they complain to us to “do something.” 

A few of my “entitled neighbors” have all day to call the city but in my neighborhood,  it’s regularly expected that my husband and I do it for them. “Your husband is a developer. He knows everybody downtown. Surely he has a few minutes to take care of this for the betterment of the neighborhood Wendy.”

The rambling eyesore next door to my home bothers me to such an extent that I’ve hired yard men for years to clean it up. I’m currently on strike though as the neighbor on the other side of it has decided to pay yard men to “cut only four feet into the abandoned estate because you hire people to handle that yard.” Humph. This statement lit me up. 

Six years of paying yard men to clean up someone else’s property and the attitude of all of my neighbors expecting me to continue to pay for the upkeep are what actually led to my strike. Mowing four feet of that yard is ridiculous. When I pay yard men to clean up that estate, I don’t tell them to “just do my side and leave the other side.” 

My husband is equally sick and tired of maintaining the adjoining property with no benefit whatsoever as well as running construction on his numerous developments and dealing with the city regarding the abandoned estate next door is the last thing he wants to do although it happens to be “related to our neighborhood as opposed to his development neighborhoods.” 

My husband and I are on strike about paying to upkeep a property solely because we are forced to look at it next door. What’s wrong with that neighbor? He could sell the lot within days for easily $500k but chooses to let raccoons move in and trees to overtake the property. I don’t get it. 

I told Maria I would call the city on my way downtown and report the three home decaying estate next door to the city again rather than telling her what I REALLY thought about her boss while my haughty neighbor looked on at both of us. 

Poor Maria rides the bus every morning then walks to my neighbors estate. I see her as I’m walking Foxy. I’ve always felt sorry for her. 

Once she arrives at work, her mistress makes her change into a maids uniform. It’s belittling to her. I know she hates wearing it as much as I hate seeing her wear it. 

A few of my neighbors would benefit from manual labor and a good days work. The neighbor Maria works for is one of them. 

Often I think a few of these neighbors must be so far upside down in debt that I nearly expect to see the repo man coming over to pick up their fancy cars but, it hasn’t happened yet. 

Driving exotic cars is something that you will never see me do. We pay cash for new suvs every two years and don’t owe on credit cards or anything else. My husband and I aren’t flashy and we like it that way. 

Rich people get on my nerves but more than that, housewives who run around in tennis outfits ALL DAY while driving $400k vehicles and acting superior to anyone who isn’t driving a fabulous car REALLY GET ON MY NERVES. 

Entitled neighbors aside, I (as usual) had a jam packed weekend of client meetings and events. As my nosy neighbors watch our three suvs and a four wheel drive truck pull out of my driveway at 6:30AM after going over the weekend schedule for my Texas Twins Events Team schedule this morning, I ignored my nosy neighbor rather than giving her the finger. It’s not easy. Her opinion of our clients lights me up. 

Poor Maria is working for a tyrant over there. The fact that my idiot neighbor forces Maria to wear a starched maids outfit to identify her position at that estate infuriates me. 

But, I can’t save Maria. Her position in life bothers me though. One day, I hope Maria does give her mistress the finger one day and finds someone else to work for that treats her with respect.  

Someone needs to “knock that invisible tiara” off my “full of herself neighbors head” but, it won’t be me because I don’t have the time and more importantly, I live here. 

Last weekend my always “determined to impress others neighbor” hired valets who blocked all of our driveways for her party. I was forced to go over there and advise her that three of us couldn’t get out of our driveways. Her response? “Well, go find Maria to tell the valets as you can see I’m entertaining.” Ugh. Poor Maria. 

Rich people are often the worst clients I’ve ever had. They want everything and bitch about paying for it. Although my husband and I live well, we have always treated others with respect and kindness regardless of where they work or how they earn a living. In fact, neither of us have had to work in years now. We both enjoy our work but I enjoy it far more than Matthew. Why? Because building and development incurs new problems everyday. I don’t have his problems. I jump in my SUV and head off for good times with great people. Unless of course, they are rich people and then it isn’t always wine and roses. 

I prefer prison wedding clients. Why? Because my clients are friendly, excited and thankful that’s why. Rich people never are. I’ve limited my traditional bookings for years with affluent clients because of this fact. I turn down new booking requests on a regular basis from “affluent” clients. They are the most demanding people in the world to work with. 

When you don’t have to work to earn a living, you don’t put up with someone handing you an apron to serve food when they hired you to coordinate and officiate. Rich clients don’t want to pay for additional staff. They assume because you have a team that your team will volunteer. Wake up! I prefer to say no and move on to clients we ENJOY working with. 

Rich people think everyone is “day labor.” They assume you have nowhere to be and all day to get there. They also think they are your ONLY CLIENTS. 

I WILL ALWAYS prefer our low to middle class bookings because real people treat you like you would want to be treated. My arm has to be twisted to take on a “big event.” Big Events will always be a hassle. I never look forward to them. 

My haughty neighbor knows I perform prison weddings and LBGT events and “doesn’t approve of rainbow unions or prison weddings.” She actually stopped me one day to tell me about her opinion. I stopped myself from telling her to go F herself. It isn’t easy being me. 

I encounter stupidity from others (mainly my neighbors but occasionally, my competitors) who think their opinion matters to me on a regular basis.

This morning I’m starting my day at Green Bay Unit in Fort Worth. This is a massive detention center that I’m meeting clients at at least twice a week. If you haven’t heard of it, I will include more information and warn you that phone calls are $15 each. Do not assume that these calls are $5 each because they aren’t. 

Tarrant County TX – Green Bay Facility has a phone program where inmates make outbound calls only, you cannot call into jail. Since you are paying for those calls don’t make it a habit of accepting collect-calls, they are over $15 EACH. 

The alternative is to set up an account through their third-party phone company which charges steep fees for each minute used. You are paying for them to call you. 

The preposterous amount of money that Keller charges had one of my clients mothers calling me crying. $775 for ten phone calls? I couldn’t believe it myself. To rectify this issue, I helped Mariah and her mother draft a Letter Of Intent and report this flagrant financial abuse to the Consumer Protection Agency as well as the AG. Beware of collect phone calls ya all because it’s anyone’s guess as to what they will cost. 

The Tarrant County TX – Green Bay Facility is a County – medium detention center located at 2500 Urban Drive in Ft Worth, TX. This county jail is operated locally by the Tarrant County Sheriff’s Office and holds inmates awaiting trial or sentencing or both. 

Most of the sentenced inmates are here for less than two years. Tarrant County accepts inmates from surrounding towns, municipalities and the Ft Worth Police Department who do not have their own long-term lock-up.

There are new detainees delivered to the jail daily, the see arrest records here. Some are released after putting up bail, are released to a pretrial services caseload, are placed under supervision by a probation agency, or are released on their own recognizance with an agreement to appear in court. 

If there is no release, the inmate must wait here at the jail for their court appearance as a guest of the County, getting a bed and three square meals.

Trustees are inmates who work in the jail as cooks, as orderlies for the staff, in the laundry or in the commissary. The trustees are paid a very small amount for their time and some jail gives the trustees a few days off their sentence in exchange for their work.

When an inmate arrives in jail they are put together in a large holding cell with other inmates in the intake. While in intake they are under heightened observation. Violent and out of control inmates are segregated.

I was actually “following the groom” who had been transferred from Tarrant County Jail to Green Bay. Last week my client and I thought he was at Tarrant County but as usual, he was moved without being able to notify his fiancée. We found him again after a collect call. 

Not knowing where your loved one is continues to be upsetting to my clients. Luckily, my Green Bay client has an attorney I know well. I know most attorneys in Fort Worth and Dallas from my years spent in courtrooms as well as socially at fundraisers for Kay Granger and from Ridglea or Shady Oaks Country Club. 

Unlike my snobby neighbor who will spend her summer laying around the Country Club pool sipping martinis and trying to look sexy, I only go to “the club” for client meetings, social functions and the occasional lunch or dinner with my husband. 

I have no idea why my neighbor hasn’t died yet of alcohol poisoning with the ever present martini glass in her hand? I’ve never seen her without a drink regardless of what time it is. How do people function drinking 24/7? I don’t get it. 

Anyway luckily, I knew the attorney and called him to get me a notarized Absentee Affidavit for the inmate. I had a great call with him discussing both of our families and pitching him on getting married. For years now, I’ve asked when this attorney is going to get married? His internet date stories are hilarious though and if he were to finally meet someone and hire me to marry them, I’d really miss his hit and miss blind date sagas. 

Speaking of Tarrant County Jail, I will be back over there today to meet my Dallas County Jail client who was bumped to Tarrant County due to a warrant. Following the Groom is actually a regular occurrence. 

I’m at Rivercrest for a client meeting and lunch this afternoon and no I don’t like watercress sandwiches. My husband loves them and Rivercrest is famous for them. Yuck. 

My husband pretty much lived at Rivercrest Country Club most of his life. His father, grandfather and entire family were members of this stuffy old above 70 years old clique. 

Rivercrest isn’t the fun Country Club of Fort Worth. Both Rivercrest and Colonial are the “stuffy” clubs of Fort Worth. 

The fun folks are members of Ridglea and Shady Oaks or both. For people like me who hate golf, comparing the greens is totally lost on me. Every golf course looks the same. 

My husband could spend hours explaining the differences of the greens at Rivercrest, Colonial, Shady Oaks and Ridglea but the conversation would put me to sleep in seconds.

I’m considering cutting this Rivercrest client loose for more than ONE REASON. First, she calls constantly and when she isn’t calling, her mother is. Secondly, this wedding is at the club and eleven months from now. Nearly another year of constant phone calls? Hell, I need to bill by the call with this client AND her mother. 

It’s an ass whipping to deal with Inlaws and Outlaws in the planning process. This bride begged me to take this job and my husband “knows the family.” 

My husband and I constantly bicker the “valid points” he thinks there are regarding my consistent issues about taking on “affluent clients.” I prefer not to. 

My husband doesn’t know how difficult rich people are to work for in the event planning business but, I do. Cindy does. My husband thinks “working these larger events is a great way to expand.” 

My husband didn’t expect prison weddings to take off and even today cannot believe how successful this extension of services would be. 

A few affluent clients won’t take no for an answer after “telling their friends the Texas Twins are doing their event.” Heavy sigh. I wish they wouldn’t tell people they booked with us long before I’ve ever considered taking the booking. Now you feel pressured to commit. They realize this and then, you are under their thumb. Jeez. 

Today, I’m going to have to go over a few ground rules about these constant phone calls from “traditional clients.” Last night, my bride thought her ring wasn’t big enough. People don’t marry based on the size of the stone. I found this troubling phone call to be a “sign of things to come.” 

Occasionally, “people who have it all can never have enough.” I’ve had enough already and this wedding isn’t until next year. You get the point. I had a lengthy discussion about her finding fault with her ring, the napkins the venue the this and that and taking the time to call me to call so and so and tell them she’s unhappy. I advised her to use the phone and address the issue directly and remove calling me to call them from this circle of chaos or… start paying me by the call. I think I’ve got this covered now but, we will see. 

I’m going to once again go over the truth that guards are not professional photographers. PLEASE DO NOT FILE A COMPLAINT regarding UNIT PHOTOS. Guards are doing the best they can and often with less than professional quality equipment. 

Certain Units have the worst photos and we can’t change the outcome of a bad photo. What we can do is accept that it’s not going to be an amazing shot an move on. 

Hodge and Estes take amazing photos. Seriously. The lighting and everything is as close to perfect as you can get in a Prison.  Coffield is hit and miss. One day the photo might be okay and the next it’s hard to even identify myself in a Unit photo. 

But, these are the only photos we are going to have of the inmate so, let’s keep it light and lower our expectations of high quality photography at your unit wedding. 

I reviewed an interesting request yesterday while in the parking lot waiting on my Mercado Event Center client. “We are looking for a female officiant that is non-denominational with zero religious agenda. Although we are a man and a woman, our ideal officiant is someone that has performed same sex marriage ceremonies in the past or would be willing to in the future. For us that’s a screener right there.” 

The only thing I was uncertain about was being liberal. Was I? I’ve never thought about it. I’m open minded and always have been. I decided to ask my husband. I’ve never put a label on myself but, my husband was roaring with hilarity at my question. “Oh my gosh! You are the most liberal person I’ve ever met in my life. I have to play down how liberal and non judgmental you are on a daily basis to conservative people who begin a conversation with “I saw you wife on the news or such and such show. I heard your wife on the radio. Your wife goes to Prisons? Doesn’t she have enough clients to address? Your wife shouldn’t be working she doesn’t need to work. Tell her to go learn to play bridge at the club.” Wendy, the description of liberal should have your name in it. Lol. The definition is actually: open to new behavior or opinions and willing to discard traditional values.” Hmm. I guess I AM LIBERAL!

Go play play bridge at the Country Club? I would rather jump off a bridge. F that. 

I decided to go ahead and take on this new booking because I love curious and interesting propositions. They weren’t LBGT but were interested solely in someone who performs LBGT Weddings? What the? I’m interested. It’s difficult to surprise me but this guy did. 

Between Willow Lake Event Center, Villagio and Belltower client meetings yesterday, Cindy and I had two radio interviews. Both were fun but Cindy and I especially enjoyed Karen’s. Her story of meeting her husband on Match and not realizing until buying their marriage license he had lied about his age by 6 years was hilarious. Normally, women lie about their age but, the way she told that story was absolutely hilarious. We loved talking with Karen!

I’m meeting my Goree Unit bride this afternoon at the Tarrant County Clerk to hold her hand buying the marriage license. My Crain Unit Groom made the same request. Buying a license if you’ve never done it is scary for my clients. When I don’t have time to accompany those needing someone with them to buy the license, my staff does based on who is available. Don’t be scared. It’s just a process. 

No one in Tarrant or Dallas county is going to be rude or confrontational with you because you are marrying an inmate. You will be just fine. But, if you would feel better having someone with you, just let me know and I will make arrangements. 

I’ve had several inquiries for California Prison Weddings so I will elaborate on requirements. For the past year, I’ve stacked inmate weddings to work in travel expenses. It’s not an problem to stack inmate weddings. In fact, I regularly stack in Texas and Louisiana as well as California. Beginning August 1st though, Leigh Ann will be handling California inmate weddings and the need to stack will be removed. 

My son and his wife will continue to handle “Houston runs” to county jails in adjoining cities. 

Cindy is joining me as a TDCJ Officiant due to the number of requests. We will continue to travel as a team wherever we can because we love our road trips but, in an effort to help everyone, bringing Cindy on board to Officiate prison weddings is a necessity. My son is more comfortable at county jail Weddings as his wife. 

Hoping you have an amazing day and really looking forward to being back on site at Villagio… 

TDCJ San Saba Unit To Ferguson Unit- TDCJ Prison Weddings With Wendy Wortham…

Driving to meet Joel yesterday, I felt as if I had known him for years. His journey was one of resilience and faith. Joel works with veterans struggling with PTSD. A few years ago, Joel was one of those vets himself. He now also works as a DJ on Road To Hope Radio discussing topics pertaining to veterans as well as being an outreach coordinator at the PTSD Corporation of America. 

Joel is dedicated to making a difference and changing the lives of veterans struggling with PTSD. 

I could relate to Joel’s passion as my brother, Jerry was in several wars during his twenty years in the Navy and my brother in law, Steve Daniel spent eight years at Camp Anaconda as well as being one of the fuel tank drivers under attack during the Good Friday roadside bombing in Iraq. 

At the time, Steve had only been at Camp Anaconda a few short months. Delivering jet fuel in Iraq was far more dangerous than trucking groceries across America but, work for truck drivers was so slow in 2003 that Steve felt he had no choice but to take on work in Iraq with his hazardous materials truck driving credentials. I spoke with Joel about my brother, my brother in law and my niece, Leigh Ann’s husband, Alex who is currently preparing to station in Oxnard, California after a few months training in San Diego this July. 

Joel had a smile and excitement that was contagious. While driving to the Unit, rain and lightning were the furthest thought I had on Tuesday that started out beautifully in Fort Worth but within 30 minutes of San Saba the weather changed quickly and dramatically for the Texas Twins who were as usual traveling together to a Texas Prison. 

Our road trips are fun, full of adventure and always interesting. There’s nothing we enjoy more than “hitting the road.” From junk shops to out of the way cafes, Cindy and I love having the time together that 30 years in sales took from us while working for different companies.

Joel had sent me a text that read “hope you brought an umbrella.” We were seeing light drizzle and lightening miles away but completely unprepared for the sudden downpour that made it difficult to see clearly. 

I had Cindy answer Joel for me “I not only brought an umbrella for me but one for you too buddy see you soon.” I plan ahead. I’m “everyone’s mother.” If my SUV doesn’t come well stocked with whatever I need hours from home, it’s difficult to find the one thing I forgot. Because of this, I make detailed lists. I don’t forget anything because I’m OCD. 

Rolling into the visitor lot at San Saba, it was a hike in the downpour to get to the Unit but, Joel and I laughed and jumped puddles together to get there a little soaked but ready to “get the wedding going” he had waited for. Planning a prison wedding can be a time consuming process. 

Joel’s rainy day wedding was literally a “Rainbow In The Dark” on a cold and dreary day. 

Joel loved the boutenier I had created with bling and pink accents to coordinate with his shirt and jacket. 

I had a wide variety of other props but due to the rain only chose a few to keep him from getting drenched outside my SUV parked next to his. I commissioned a wooden “Mr” sign as a surprise gift to send him with his wedding photos. I love surprising and delighting my clients with unexpected gifts. Joel’s fiancée was beaming as she entered the conference room and a bit nervous as three guards watched the ceremony. She was beautiful and excited. I love my clients and making their day special. 

By the time we finally meet whether it’s at a venue for my traditional clients or a Prison, I know a lot about them and they know a lot about me. 

More often than not, my clients and I have spent weeks and occasionally even months on the phone or texting when not emailing updates to each other up to wedding day. Leaving the Unit, my happy new clients both gave me a hug. The relief at finally being married after the long and arduous prison planning process is always evident with my clients. They are finally married and finally through the process. 

Joel is looking forward to planning their vow renewal upon the release of his beautiful bride with my team as am I. 

Vow Renewals are a literal celebration of freedom, resilience and strength for my TDCJ clients as well as my other inmate marriage clients. Whenever possible, I meet my former clients on release day at the Walls Unit. It’s truly a celebration. Driving back to Fort Worth, I check in with my Ferguson bride about timelines to meet her today. I had three clients at three Units in the same day. My first was at Ferguson some three hours from my location but, my client meeting held me up this morning getting me off to a later start than I had planned. 

I was planning to arrive an hour early at Ferguson to handle bridal photos before heading to the Unit at 1PM but didn’t arrive until 12:30 at Ferguson for my 1PM wedding. No matter, we headed in together to clear and get ready to meet the Groom. 

My bride looked stunning in white slacks and heels. I wore heels years ago as a clothing, print and commercial model but these days prefer flats. 

While waiting, my bride told me she was nervous as the guard told us both “we aren’t professional photographers.” I laughed as did my client since I’m well aware that guards are doing the best they can regarding inmate photos.

The Groom couldn’t stop smiling. He was thrilled and excited. I love what I do. The happiest moments at a Prison are releases and prison weddings. 

Posing for photos was so much fun with my newly married couple! The love and the journey to finally get married are often emotional for my clients. The Groom touching his heart and reading his vows was a sweet and precious moment for the bride and I although at Ferguson Unit our “backdrop” were open cages and scattered chairs. Moving away from the cages used for non contact visits in order to “cut them” from the wedding photos, my clients nervously held hands. 

Contact is within strict guidelines. Holding hands, two closed mouth kisses, one hug. Inappropriate contact is strictly prohibited. 

I love handwritten vows and creative input from clients making their wedding as special as they are. 

Finding good lighting inside a Unit for photos is difficult but, I think our guard did an amazing job quite frankly. 

Leaving the Unit after waiting for our photos to print, my bride followed me to my SUV for a wide array of prop options. 

My rolling photo booth changes frequently and I’m constantly adding or replacing inventory. The sequin veil was an instant hit as were the tiaras and fascinators. From lanterns to signs to bouquets, flower balls, banners and more, my SUV is often a treasure trove of fun items that make photo shoots as creative as my clients imaginations are. I love an opportunity to share the joy of clients on wedding day. Jumping back into my SUV to head over to Huntsville, Texas to meet my next client, I ran over a retread that had come off a semi and luckily didn’t blow out my own tire doing so. My suvs are road warriors. 

I’ve had a few escapades on back roads to Texas Prisons and once even hitched a ride after hitting a deer with a truck driver in Tennessee Colony. Nothing and I mean nothing keeps me from showing up for my clients! Whether it’s with a buzzard sticking out of my broken windshield or the horrific smell of an errant skunk I was unable to keep from running over, my clients know they can count on me. 

Backroads are full of semi trucks throwing rocks, work boots, tires and more. Staying alert while fielding calls from my Texas Twins Events Clients as well as my TDCJ Clients usually takes a copilot but today, Cindy was working Parker County Jail. 

My son and his wife were covering Louisiana prison weddings and my niece was still editing photos from last weekend. Two weddings on Mother’s Day with family photos thrown in had her swamped and everyone else was at another booking. I don’t mind driving alone I simply don’t answer emails or texts until I’m in a parking lot and off the road. 

Leigh Ann’s family photos were as usual hilarious with our family. My husband was busy dealing with one of his developments and Cindy’s husband was on the road in New York so, as usual the lone male in our family of females on Sunday was my son. He’s a bit of a ham. 

My youngest grandniece, Madyson adores my son though and my son has decided not to have children since he “has four dogs and will have twins like everyone else.” 

The truth is that twins run on both sides of our family and my son isn’t too far off. However, his wife does want children and one day this “baby discussion” is going to come up again for my son and his wife. My niece, Stephaney is doing well and back on track again. We’ve paved a tough road with my grandnieces mother but, once again, we’ve got her back on track. 

Photos with the twins mom the last 14 years have been rare as normally Stephaney preferred to be anywhere other than with us. That’s changed now though and family time has become a priority. 

With two sets of twins, young Madyson, Leigh Ann and her younger sister, Stephaney, my son was more comfortable behind the camera than in front of it but, we managed to get a few photos just the same. 

I’m off to Green Bay Unit and Palo Pinto County Jail tomorrow and as usual, back at venues all weekend with Hughes Unit, Hutchins Unit, Robertson Unit, Torres Unit, Allred Unit, Beto Unit and Stiles Unit over the next few weeks. 

My niece, Leigh Ann will handle both Texas overflow inmate clients as well as photography, notary services and predominately California inmate weddings after July 27th. 

Cindy and I will continue to handle mainly Texas based inmate weddings as well as traditional bookings and county jail requests based on our schedules. We will still take on prison weddings and destination weddings in other states but, book early as our schedules are often burdened. 

Traditional events can run up to 2 years out for my calendar and short notice bookings or requests will be bumped to my son and his wife who work as a team and handle booking in several states as well as traditional requests for an Officiant/photography team. 

My twin grandnieces, Maryssa and Makenna are available as princess characters at birthday parties as well as flower girls and are both studying videography and photography. 

The twins work together as a team on location as do Cindy and I. Maryssa and Makenna both enjoy working with younger children on location and have been on site with my Team since they were two years old. I’ve had several model inquiries regarding Maryssa and Makenna so it should be noted that they are both currently already under contract with an agency and not interested in signing with a new company at this time. Please check back in 2020 for model or promotional inquiries for Makenna and Maryssa. 

Young Madyson is also a model for several brands and managed by her mother, Leigh Ann. For inquiries, please use the contact us link at Texas Twins Events regarding commercial or print booking information.There will as usual be more road trips, rest areas, memorable clients and great times in store for the Texas Twins. We are now handling prison weddings in several states but, our main states will continue to be California, Texas, & Louisiana although destination inmate services are still available upon special request.  

I will be offline Thursday for Iheart radio interviews with Cindy then radio interviews with Silver Linings Inspired Radio before running to Palo Printon and Parker County bookings as well as in and out of venues Friday through Sunday night. 

It’s Wedding Season and the joy of love is everywhere we go. The best job in the world? The Texas Twins would have to say “you bet!” we love what we do and do what we love for our amazing clients.

If you need to speak with me or anyone on my team about your inmate wedding, traditional event or media inquiry, please leave a detailed message or email me wendy@texastwinsevents.com we look forward to meeting ya all soon… 

The Unsworn Declaration. What Is It And Why You Cannot Obtain A Marriage License In Texas With It Instead Of An Absentee Affidavit…

My Ellis Unit client had contacted me last week regarding the law library informing her fiancée that “we are no longer notarizing Absentee Affidavits.” 

I quickly reviewed TDCJ Access to the Courts, Councils and Public Officials as I was all too well aware that an Unsworn Declaration would not substitute for an Absentee Affidavit. Thankfully, the problem of the Unsworn Declaration was effectively solved with a phone call to Ellis by me and my beautiful Ellis Unit bride now has both the Absentee Affidavit and ID ready to buy her marriage license. 

This “shift” of not notarizing inmate documents is a problem for not only the inmate but also his fiancée. Why? Because the county clerk will not accept an Unsworn Declaration in exchange for an Absentee Affidavit. 

Communication is “key” between TDCJ personnel and myself. Thankfully, I have built a stellar reputation of good relationships with TDCJ staff members when encountering a “hurdle.” Today’s blog will address the “unforeseen issues” of clients wishing to marry an inmate and the hurdle of purchasing a marriage license in Texas using an Unsworn Declaration. 

CIVIL PRACTICE AND REMEDIES CODE TITLE 6. MISCELLANEOUS PROVISIONS CHAPTER 132. 

Sec. 132.001. UNSWORN DECLARATION. (a) Except as provided by Subsection (b), an unsworn declaration may be used in lieu of a written sworn declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit required by statute or required by a rule, order, or requirement adopted as provided by law.

(b) This section does not apply to a lien required to be filed with a county clerk, an instrument concerning real or personal property required to be filed with a county clerk, or an oath of office or an oath required to be taken before a specified official other than a notary public.

(c) An unsworn declaration made under this section must be:

(1) in writing; and

(2) subscribed by the person making the declaration as true under penalty of perjury.

(d) Except as provided by Subsections (e) and (f), an unsworn declaration made under this section must include a jurat in substantially the following form:

“My name is __________ _________ ____________, my

(First) (Middle) (Last)

date of birth is _________________, and my address is

_____________, ____________, _________, ____________,

(Street) (City) (State) (Zip Code)

and __________________. I declare under penalty of

(Country)

perjury that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed in _______ County, State of ________, on the ________ day of ________, ________.

(Month) (Year)

____________________

Declarant”

(e) An unsworn declaration made under this section by an inmate must include a jurat in substantially the following form:

“My name is __________ _________ ____________, my

(First) (Middle) (Last)

date of birth is _____________________, and my inmate

identifying number, if any, is __________________. I

am presently incarcerated in ________________________

(Corrections unit name) 

in _____________, _________, _______, ____________. I

(City) (County) (State) (Zip Code)

declare under penalty of perjury that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed on the _____ day of ________, _______.

(Month) (Year)

____________________

Declarant”

For the many people wishing to marry an inmate who assume the above Unsworn Declaration “is the same or similar or can substitute for an Absentee Declaration,” the Absentee Affidavit specifically states that the clerk “will not accept an Unsworn Declaration” ON THE TOP PARAGRAPH of the document. 

Let’s use Tarrant County for an example and note that although inmate marriage has been legal since July 28, 2015, that Absentee Affidavits at county clerks offices in Texas have yet to update the AA to reflect the use of this form pertaining to inmates. “Unsworn Declarations are not accepted.” 

The reason I’m pointing the significant variations of an Absentee Affidavit versus an Unsworn Declaration are specifically to advise you that trying to substitute one for the other will not allow you to purchase a marriage license in Texas.

Yesterday, my client from Hobbs, New Mexico planning to marry at Bridgeport Unit sent me a message upon leaving Anderson County, Texas that read “they won’t issue the marriage license because he isn’t here.” Checking the distance from Hobbs to the nearest major city in Texas, I found Lubbock to be an hour and forty five minutes from my clients location and contacted the clerks office myself while in my SUV at Green Bay Unit. 

Let’s “go over” what NOT to say if you encounter a clerk who is unfamiliar with inmate marriage. Do not say that the inmate is military. If the inmate isn’t military, the inmate still qualifies as being absent. However, many clerks (especially in smaller towns and sub courthouses) are completely unfamiliar with inmate marriage and the use of an Absentee Affidavit. This is why you need someone experienced and educated in your corner as your TDCJ Approved Officiant. 

I called Lubbock and my client is purchasing her marriage license as I write this blog from Parker County. As a person planning to marry an inmate, you may face challenges from clerks who either “don’t approve of inmate marriage” or worse, “have no idea that the same form they are familiar with can be used to purchase a license for an inmate marriage.” Rather than becoming upset or argumentative, it’s best to contact me.

A few months ago, my Michael Unit bride encountered issues in Denton County. Why? Because her Absentee Affidavit “was from another county and we can’t use their form in our office.” My Michael Unit client had called me upset about Denton County and to solve the issue of a clerk unfamiliar with inmate marriage or the use of an Absentee Affidavit, I instructed my client “to go to Tarrant County.” Since I was meeting a client at the Tarrant County Jail, offered to meet her there to purchase her marriage license. I married her at Michael Unit several weeks ago. 

Being in another state and marrying an inmate in Texas can be trying. My Florida client was married by me to an inmate at TDCJ Holliday Unit but, the process wasn’t easy. If you live in another state, I strongly suggest taking the Twogether In Texas Course online. Why? Because if you are flying to Texas, the three day waiting period can and will pose a problem to your travel arrangements if you are on a tight window. Not all of my clients can afford to take an entire week from work to marry in Texas. 

I’m including the link to Twogether since I’m well aware many third party providers are selling it at an inflated cost– Twogether In Texas Online Course. This course waives the three day waiting period and discounts your marriage license fee by $60. 

Why was House Bill 2865 passed? House Bill 2685 increased the marriage license fee to $60. However, the fee was be waived for couples who complete an eight-hour premarital class, and those couples can forgo the 72-hour waiting period to get married. 

AUSTIN – The Texas Health and Human Services Commission (HHSC) is spreading the word about a new state law, which took effect Sept. 1, 2008 that encourages couples to take premarital courses in Texas. This course began due to an increase in the cost of marriage licenses due to House Bill 2685. 

The state’s initiative, called “Twogether in Texas,” promotes marriage education classes that provide eight hours of training on communication skills, conflict resolution and other elements of a healthy marriage. Any couple who complete the class will receive a certificate that they can take to their county clerk when they apply for their marriage license. The certificate is good for one year and serves as proof that the couple is eligible for the discounted marriage license fee. The online class allows you to stop and start. The ONLY requirement is that you complete the course. You will then print your certificate. You will need to take the certificate with you along with the notarized Absentee Affidavit and TDCJ ID as well as your own ID to buy the marriage license. 

For clients encountering a “CLM status to anyone other than them” trying to get Approved to marry an inmate, the consistent issues of “this piece of paper” continue to be a horrifying surprise. Let’s first go over why any inmate who was granted contact visits by notarizing an Informal Marriage Affidavit obviously knew that it “wasn’t just a piece of paper.” TDCJ recognizes an Informal Marriage Affidavit as binding. If you are attempting to marry an inmate who is listed as being “informally married to someone other than you,” I strongly encourage you to have a serious discussion with the inmate regarding his or hers honesty relating to the issue preventing you from marrying them for a number of reasons but mainly because dishonesty isn’t the way to begin your marriage and secondly, because you have a very time consuming legal battle ahead of you. It’s also something you were wholly and completely unaware of. 

Outside of TDCJ, such Informal Marriage Affidavits must be filed in person by both parties at the clerks office. Use of an Absentee Affidavit is not allowed pertaining to an Informal Marriage Affidavit. 

The wide misuse of an Informal Marriage Affidavit in Prisons is astounding to me. For anyone signing this document unaware that doing so in the presence of a notary is a deliberate misuse since you obviously aren’t living with an inmate inside a prison, beware of the ramifications of signing such an instrument. Inside TDCJ, you CANNOT marry anyone other than the person on the Affidavit without providing TDCJ with a divorce decree. 

I am attaching a photo of the Declaration And Registration Of Informal Marriage for your review as well as the warning regarding falsifying documents. 

WARNING: IT IS A FELONY TO FALSIFY INFORMATION ON THIS DOCUMENT. 

If you are attempting to marry an inmate who has this document on file with TDCJ or any other prison, it’s a problem. It’s not a problem that can’t be overcome but, it’s still a problem. If you are a client, contact me to go over what will be required to move forward with your Prison Wedding Planning Process. If you aren’t my client, good luck. 

Outside of prison, an Informal Marriage Declaration once filed, legally binds both parties. A divorce is required to dissolve the union. 

If you are from another country planning to marry an inmate in Texas, neither I nor anyone on my staff will conduct your wedding ceremony. Immigration Fraud is a crime. We will not make exceptions to anyone for any reason.  

The end answer regarding Unsworn Declarations is that while they may be effective outside obtaining a marriage license, they are still ineffective in obtaining one. Only the use of a notarized ID and Absentee Affidavit will substitute for the inmates presence at the clerks office. 

Behind The Glass, Absentee Affidavits, Unsworn Declarations & What To Wear To Your Prison Wedding…

No one is “comfortable about marrying with an inmate behind the glass.” Many of my clients never planned to marry in a Prison and much less to be separated by the glass.

On one rare occasion, I had a client nearly vomit due to her surprise and shock to see her future husband on the other side of the glass smiling at her. Walking into a visitation area at a Prison to marry is dramatically different from walking down an aisle. 

The glass was not only unexpected to my client but also me as she was unaware of his status being “upgraded” due to an infraction. Walking in to find her fiancée behind glass literally took her breath away. Thankfully, I was right beside her to steady her the last few feet leading up to the glass. 

Infractions can and do change an inmates status. At any point during the Prison wedding planning process, a change in the inmates status can prevent the inmate from being “on the other side of the glass” aka standing beside my client and I. 

I spent several minutes trying to calm my client who had driven from Houston to Tennessee Colony before proceeding with her wedding ceremony. She was facing a long and lonely drive home and I wanted to comfort her as much as possible. Frankly, I wished she had brought someone with her to have a ride a long. Many of my client choose to bring friends or family with them and although no visitors are allowed inside the Unit, these guests are happy to wait on my client and I. 

During the Prison wedding planning process, I become every Clients mother guiding them and directing them through the process whether they are male or female. 

One of my Gatesville clients still calls me “Mama Wendy” and is planning his vow revewal with my team next year. 

The intimacy of my Prison clients by far exceeds any amount of time spent with traditional clients. Why? Because from what to wear to what they can say or do, these unique clients rely heavily on me to get them through a confusing and time consuming process. 

I would never ask a traditional client to send me a photo of what they plan to wear. For a Prison wedding though, this is a standard question. 

Glass can be upsetting at a ceremony when it isn’t expected. The majority of my clients wait months for their wedding to be scheduled. 

Posing for a photo with glass separating my client and I from the inmate at the Unit, finding creative ways to pose was a bit of a hurdle.

At TDCJ Ferguson Unit, Nikia wasn’t at all uncomfortable with the glass. Instead, I was. Why? It was my very first time to encounter glass separating my client from the inmate. 

The photo below was taken by a guard and Nikia loved the way the glass “merged” their faces. It would be my first encounter with the glass but, it wouldn’t be my last as a Prison Wedding Officiant. 

The status of an inmate cannot be changed. If the inmate is a G4 or G5, a lifer or on death row, he or she will be behind the glass. Neither you or I can change that. We must accept that there will be glass separating you and I from the inmate and effectively move on. 

There are a number of creative ways to address your Unit photos with the inmate behind the glass and I encourage you to do whatever will make you more comfortable when posing for your Unit wedding photo if  (of course) photos of your wedding ceremony are offered at the Unit. 

Some of the most memorable prison photos were taken by Andrew Lichtenstein. These photos show families visiting inmates and give a “different glimpse” of the domestic aspects of Prisons. How so? By giving a glimpse of the children, spouses, grandparents and parents of inmates visiting them. 

Photos taken by Mr. Lichtenstein “on the other side of the glass” also feature children who may or may not understand why their parent is in prison. 

To view the gallery of “life in prison” by Mr. Lichtenstein, click this link– Andrew Lichtenstein Life In Prison.

Before my readers “zip off an email” regarding Danny Lyon’s photos taken in Texas Prisons during the 60’s and featured in Conversations With The Dead, I’m well aware of the book and in fact, I’ve read the book, Conversations With The Dead  published in 1971. It is a very emotional and heartbreaking read for anyone unfamiliar with the life of an inmate. 

Danny Lyon has long been considered one of the most original and influential documentary photographers and has produced numerous highly collectible photobooks, mounted solo exhibitions at the Whitney Museum of American Art, The Art Institute of Chicago, The Corcoran Gallery in Washington DC, and won two Guggenheim Fellowships, a Rockefeller Fellowship, and ten National Endowment for the Arts awards. Lyon divides his time between New York State and New Mexico. 

Other Danny Lyon photography books published by Phaidon include Danny Lyon: Memories of Myself (2009), Deep Sea Diver: An American Photographer’s Journey in Shanxi, China (2011), and The Seventh Dog (2014).

In an effort to educate those who may be unaware of Danny Lyon or the access that he was given by Dr George Beto to photograph Texas inmates, I will add include the link to Magnum Photography featuring photos from Conversations With The Dead and a warning that a few of Danny’s Prison photos are graphic and might be disturbing– Conversations With The Dead. Photography By Danny Lyon 1967-1968. 

Between 1967 and 1968, Danny Lyon spent 14 months photographing inside six Texas prisons. He had already made his name with his sustained reportage from the frontline of the black civil rights struggle in the southern US states, but shooting inside high-security penitentiaries in Texas, where some of the inmates were facing the death sentence, was an altogether more soul-sapping experience. He would later describe it as heartbreaking.

The resulting book, Conversations With the Dead, was published in 1971 and immediately hailed as a classic of insider reportage. 

Times have changed since the 60’s and 70’s as photographers and/or reporters are no longer given the access that Danny was. 

Today, Unit photos are offered for sale at $3 each in quarters and occasionally given to visitors. Wedding photos at Sanders Estes Unit are emailed to myself and my client at no cost. Private Units do not offer photos at all and often Unit photos are grainy and out of focus. Guards are not professional photographers. 

Prison Unit photos are often sent to inmates from loved ones who purchased them during their visit. Other Unit photos are often framed and kept in the homes of loved ones to remember their visit to a Unit while still others are put on refrigerator doors as a constant reminder of someone who may or may not ever be coming home. 
Being married to an inmate who will never be granted parole is a difficult and serious decision. You will always be pulling the wagon alone. I discuss the aspects of marrying a “lifer” on a regular basis with clients. 

How successful are my discussions? Hit and miss. Very few clients have changed their mind about marrying someone serving a life sentence. Why? Because they had given their choice to marry months and occasionally years of thought. Their commitment and sacrifice astounds me. It also astounds most other people. 

Being a Prison Wife or Husband can be a lonely and expensive lifestyle. Your weekends are spent driving to a Unit and going through a search while waiting to see your loved one. Your holidays are spent alone. You jump to answer the next expensive phone call and you dedicate your life to the inmate. My clients give up far more than the inmate. They sacrifice on a regular basis to make their relationship work. 

My clients are usually standing beside me at a Prison wedding unless the inmate is classified at a rank that prevents contact. The client and inmate are allowed to hold hands, hug (no inappropriate contact), and seal their marriage with a kiss (no open mouths). 

My clients are advised to “keep it classy” by me long before their wedding ceremony. After all, we are in a prison and as such, I expect my clients to conduct themselves in an appropriate manner pertaining to the visitation code as well as the Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate wedding ceremonies. I.E. We follow the rules. 

I completed a follow up interview with Kate, a journalist following the story of Luther and Mary a few days ago. If you missed my interview with Mary before her wedding to Luther, here’s the link– Wendy Wortham Interview With Mary Martin Wichita Falls, Texas.

Luther and Mary will never hold hands at a visit, hug or even a few months ago, seal their marriage with a kiss. I admitted that this struck me as somewhat sad to Kate because it did. 

Mary’s photos and interview with me feature a woman thrilled to be marrying an inmate serving a life sentence. Anyone looking at my joyous bride would have no idea that her life would always be spent visiting Luther “on the other side of the glass.” Mary wearing my clothing or tiaras and holding one of my bouquets in photos taken by my niece, Leigh Ann “looks like any other happy bride.” The difference in Mary’s marriage versus my traditional clients isn’t lost on me. There won’t be a honeymoon. There won’t be dinners together at home discussing the workday. Their won’t be the normality or predictability that most married couples share. My clients accept the lopsided aspects of being married to an inmate. 

The glass is heavy and often dirty. Occasionally, there are also cracks where an inmate struck the glass. The cracks bother me. Why? Because someone drove hours to visit the inmate. Because someone went through the screening process and because someone who cared enough to come visit the inmate was on the other side of the glass when the inmate effectively punched it. 

Acting as if the glass doesn’t make me uncomfortable in front of my clients is essential to performing my job functions. I put my anxiety in “the corner pocket.” 

Marrying a couple when one of them is behind the glass will always be more emotionally challenging for me solely because the couple cannot touch one another. The glass will always be between my clients and their spouse and although many of them accept this without mourning the fact, I mourn for their loss of ever touching their spouse. 

I am a seasoned wedding Officiant and planner. I’m also well educated regarding the limitations of legal remedies for couples who aren’t married. 

I’ve seen far too many tragedies in my lifetime with couples who were not allowed to marry prior to the Supreme Court ruling legalizing same sex marriage. 

Whether my clients are “inside a prison or outside of a prison,” the differences between both sets of clients are often staggering to the “outside world.” 

There are many options “in the free world” that will never be offered in a Prison for a wedding ceremony. As a Prison bride or husband, it’s essential to accept the rules pertaining to your upcoming marriage and more importantly, to abide by said rules and regulations regarding inmate marriage ceremonies. 

Accepting that my Prison Couples may never touch is just as sad for me as it is for them. Silently, I grieve their inability to have contact during the wedding ceremony. 

I have also (for many years) Officiated deathbed wedding ceremonies for certain individuals that never expected to die who (upon their deathbed) want to protect their loved ones by ensuring their material possessions go to them rather than the state upon their death. 

These incredible and extraordinary “situations” are equally sad for me but, I am well aware that many LBGT Couples have lost everything to their partners family after death because they had no legal recourse as a spouse. 

Times have changed and Marriage now protects the surviving partner and more importantly, the assets the deceased wished to leave to them. Thank goodness that LBGT couples can now have insurance and the rights so many of my friends have lived a lifetime without. 

I have thousands of friends in the LBGT community and for a number of years, officiated Unification Ceremonies for those who couldn’t legally marry in Texas as well as driving to Oklahoma to marry them in a state where marriage was legal long before Texas and many other states legalized same sex marriage. 

Jeff Mosier of the Dallas Morning News interviewed me upon the ruling regarding same sex marriage.

Previous to same sex marriage becoming legal, I also strongly suggested to my non married couples to obtain 5 legal documents that would protect their rights should one of them become ill or die. 

The reason I continued to advise my LBGT connections to obtain documents was to protect them.  I had written the blog titled “Five Legal Documents Every LBGT Couple Need” prior to Texas recognizing same sex unions because I had witnessed the fleecing of survivors in courthouses who effectively had No Legal Rights pertaining to burial or the assets of the Union. 

I’m often amazed at the failure of non married couples who don’t take the time to sign a Living Will or to get a Body Disposition Affidavit in order or at the very least, to have a Power of Attorney document in place should an accident render your partner incapable of making decisions on their own. 

But, not having any say regarding burial of your loved one can be a shocking surprise. It surprised my father. It also saddened me while we were forced to wait 30 days with Gretta “on ice” at the funeral home solely because her sister “claimed” she planned to make burial arrangements. As the next of kin, without any documentation giving my father the right to supersede Gretta’s sister, my father was forced to wait while Gretta decomposed. A month after her death, I went to the funeral home and chose clothing while carefully applying make up and jewelry to Gretta the day before officiating her funeral. Even the frigid temperatures couldn’t prevent the decomposition. It wasn’t what anyone who cared about her would have wanted. But, her sister only cared about control. Kathy never planned to make burial arrangements and sadly, my father and Gretta had failed to file for an Informal Marriage or have me Officiate a Formal Marriage due to Gretta’s sudden and unexpected death. 

No one is prepared for death. It’s often a dark stranger that sweeps those you love away before you realize how fragile life actually is.  

I’m well aware of laws pertaining to death and the loss of rights to survivors because I’ve seen the greed of the surviving family members personally. Fighting over money and assets without any degree of care regarding the impact to a survivor when  “holding up a burial” is a purely selfish act. 

If I’m advising you to protect yourself legally, I’m doing so only for your benefit because I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what my father did. What you don’t KNOW will hurt you. 

When one of my best friends, Charles, lost his thirty plus year partner, Dewitt, Charles also lost all of Dewitt’s material possessions to Dewitt’s family as well as the right to make burial decisions. Why? Because LBGT marriage wasn’t legal at the time AND because Charles and Dewitt had failed to take legal measures that would have given Charles far more legal remedies. 

Charles died shortly after Dewitt and I am guessing that his death was due in part to his broken heart. 

I was the last person to see Charles prior to his death and knew his will to live had been lost. Less than twenty four hours after my visit at Harris Hospital, Charles died in his sleep. Charles and Dewitt had shared a lifetime together but, Dewitt “came from money” and Dewitt’s family fought Charles to get the money back and won. 

At the end of Charles and Dewitt’s long life together, I couldn’t believe the ending would be as tragic as it was. Both surviving families continued to fight over the assets. Neither family wanted the treasured pets left behind though. I helped find foster homes for the cats Charles and Dewitt had loved so much. 

What is a Body Disposition Affidavit? The right to consumers in Texas to use a Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit or similar written instrument was created by the Texas Legislature several years ago and codified in section 711.002(g) of the Health and Safety Code. The provision was embedded in the law dealing with cemeteries and was overlooked by many.

This authorization form helps consumers secure the right to specify ones body disposition. This law provides that consumers wishes as expressed in such an instrument must be “faithfully” carried out by whoever has the legal authority to control the disposition.

The other primary advantage of the Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit is it’s use by people who want to be cremated. In the absence of a properly executed Affidavit, the funeral director must secure permission of ALL IMMEDIATE family members who have the authority to control disposition. 

For instance, in the case of several adult children scattered across the country, this often time consuming task can delay disposition and drive up the costs of funeral arrangements due to storing of the body until all interested parties can be located.

Using a Body Disposition Authorization Affidavit eliminates confusion and allows the cremation to proceed without unwanted delay. For those interested in body donation for medical research and teaching, the form provides for an alternative in the event the body is not accepted by the medical school because of it’s condition at the time of death.

A separate provision found in Section 711.002(b) allows consumers to designate the person or persons they want to control the disposition. The form Appointment of Agent to Control Disposition of Remains accomplishes this. If no one is appointed to control the disposition, the following persons, in the order listed, have the right to control the disposition:
1. The descendants surviving spouse

2. Any of the descendants surviving children 

3. Either of the descendants surviving parents

4. Any of the descendants surviving adult siblings, or

5. Any adult in the next degree of kinship in the order named by law to inherit the estate of the descendant.

The Appointment of Agent Form is useful in order for a persons wishes to be carried out after death. The Appointment of Agent Form avoids conflict among survivors and the Body Disposition Affidavit assures that the descendants wishes for body disposal will be carried out.

Section 711.002(g) also provides that consumers may make their disposition decision in a will or in a prepaid funeral contract.

A Living Will and subsequently the “ability to make medical decisions on your behalf” is also something I encourage my clients to consider. Whether it’s a Power Of Attorney or not, a Living Will is also essential to protecting your loved one from suffering for months in a medical setting. 

A Power Of Attorney is nice to have on hand but, it won’t give you the same amount of decision making when your loved one is facing death. A Do Not Resuscitate Order will. 

A (DNR) Order Do Not Resuscitate (DNR), also known as no code or allow natural death, is a legal order, written or oral depending on country, indicating that a person does not want to receive cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), advanced cardiac life support (ACLS), or other aggressive interventions if that person’s heart stops. 

An advance directive is a broad category of legal instructions you may set up for your healthcare. A living will is a document that falls into the category of advance directives. 

Therefore, a living will is a type of advance directive. Other types of advance directives include: durable power of attorney (aka health care proxy), do not resuscitate order, and organ donation form.

Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care. A durable power of attorney for health care, which is also known as a health-care proxy in some states, allows you to appoint a representative to make medical decisions for you. You decide how much power your representative will or won’t have.

What is an Unsworn Declaration? To better understand, click on this link– Unsworn Declaration VS Absentee Affidavit.

Traditionally, Absentee Affidavits were used solely for military members. The Administrative Directive pertaining to inmate marriage changed this. 

Absentee Affidavits are required to be sent to the inmate who will then visit the law library to notarize the document and mail it back to their loved one. The Absentee Affidavit in combination with a Notarized ID is necessary to purchase the marriage license without the other party present. 

“Why do I need an Absentee Affidavit?” Because the state requires this document. 

“Why do I need a notarized ID?” To purchase the marriage license without the other party present, you will need to legally explain why the other party is absent with an Absentee Affidavit in order to purchase your marriage license. 

BOTH the ID and Absentee Affidavit must be notarized. The person appearing at the clerks office must also have a valid ID and the fee for the marriage license. 

The Unsworn Declaration WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED at the clerks office. You MUST HAVE a notarized Absentee Affidavit. 

If you are a client and encountering this issue at your fiancées Unit, contact me. I will help you obtain a notarized Absentee Affidavit from the Unit. 

There are two types of marriage licenses–Formal marriage license and Declaration and Registration of an Informal Marriage (Common law). The basic requirements are the same for both types of marriage.

Both parties must appear in person.
Both parties must be at least 18 years of age.

Must have a valid, government-issued picture identification. Names will be reflected on the marriage license exactly as they appear on the IDs. 

The County Clerk’s office cannot change the name or spelling of name on ID. Forms of acceptable, valid identification include:

Driver’s license

State ID

Passport

Military ID

Visa

Must know Social Security number.

A blood test is NOT required.

Consistently, I’ve advised my clients of protecting themselves and their assets by marriage. In certain cases, I’ve also suggested Prenuptial Agreements. The “client” is the person who hired me and NOT the inmate. Often, the person who hired either myself or my staff has significantly more assets than an inmate does. If I’m giving you sage advice that on occasion may include advising you not to marry your fiancée, my advice is based solely on my observations and conversations with you. 

Please remember that your needs and best interests are my priority. I’m “everyone’s mother” when planning a wedding whether the wedding will take place inside a Prison or on the outside. I’m honest, wise and well aware of the repercussions of trusting someone you don’t know well enough to dedicate your life and quite possibly your livelihood to. 

If you and your fiancée cannot appear together to purchase your marriage license, the use of an Absentee Affidavit “substitutes” for the person not present. 

The Absentee Affidavit is to be completed if an applicant is unable to appear personally before the County Clerk to apply for a marriage license. The other applicant may apply for a marriage license on behalf of the absent applicant.

“Why can’t I fill out and notarize the Absentee Affidavit for the inmate?” Because YOU ARE NOT ABSENT the inmate is. 

There cannot be any corrections to an Absentee Affidavit. Why? Because a Notary seal make it a legal document and corrections void the legality of the document. 

Marrying an inmate is a confusing and lengthy process. Neither you or I can control the timelines involved. We wait on the ID. We wait on the I60 and we wait for a date.

“Why can’t I wear what I want to my wedding?” Because inmate weddings follow dress code guidelines. “What WILL HAPPEN IF I WEAR SOMETHING OUTSIDE THE VISITATION DRESS CODE? After all, I don’t want to look like a nun.” 

Okay, there are two options to “wearing what you want” neither are going to have the outcome you desire. First- you can be required to wear a cafeteria smock. 

Secondly- if you refuse to wear the cafeteria smock, your wedding will be cancelled due to non compliance. 

Thirdly, your payment will not be refunded because I have done my part by driving to your Prison wedding. 

I strongly discourage all of my clients about “winging it with their clothing.” I have solid reasons for asking you to send me photos and those reasons are to protect you from a “walk of shame in a cafeteria smock” or having your wedding cancelled because you refused to wear the smock. Please be aware of visitation dress code guidelines. 

“Why can’t I bring a guest?” Because rarely and I mean rarely have guests or witnesses ever been allowed inside a prison for a wedding ceremony.

In years of officiating inmate weddings, only three times have guests been authorized to attend a wedding ceremony at a Unit. 

The THREE weddings with guests allowed have all been at Sanders Estes Unit. No other Unit has offered to allow a guest to attend an inmate wedding.I’m well aware of any and all rules pertaining to inmate marriage within any state either I or my staff conduct ceremonies within at Prison Units. There are strict limitations pertaining to what you CAN and CANNOT do at a Prison. 

Although a few of my clients may wish to argue these points on occasion, please remember that my staff or myself are acting in your best interest by telling you what you can do and advising against what you cannot do. 

“Why can’t I bring a ring?” Because Section K of the Administrative Directive specifically prohibits ring exchanges. There is no “rule bending” regarding Offender Property.

“Why can’t I bring a change of clothes for the inmate? I don’t want our wedding photos with him wearing Prison issued clothing.” Because once again, Offender Property guidelines strictly prohibit bringing anything in to give to the inmate.

“What can I bring?” You are REQUIRED to bring the marriage license, your current and valid state issued ID or passport, your car keys and quarters in a clear plastic bag to purchase Unit photos if they are offered.

“What can you bring?” My ID, my car keys and my Bible as well as notes inside my Bible. If you have handwritten vows or anything else written on paper, you MUST give these to me prior to entry. I will put your notes in my Bible and give them to you at the commencement of the ceremony.

Weddings “on the outside” include guests, bouquets, vendors, cake, and all of the other elements that “weddings on the inside don’t.” 

The majority of my Prison wedding clients re book upon release of their loved one for Vow Renewals. 

Everything you couldn’t do “on the inside” including your choice of clothing, a wedding ring, guests and the like are included at your Vow Renewal. Fees are based on distance from Fort Worth, Texas.

I hope this explains and subsequently, answers your questions and I look forward to meeting you at your Prison Wedding soon… 

If You DON’T Focus On YOUR Journey To SUCCESS You Will End Up WORKING For The Person Who Did…

For a few months now I’ve been pushing off a press release for an award I was presented. Why? I don’t have time to sit down for a one to two hour interview. My work takes precedence over anything else in my life with family running a close second. 

I’m frequently asked how I became so successful by others who readily realize that I have never advertised or needed to. The answer is by exceeding my clients expectations. If everyone else in the sales industry would put forth the effort with each and every client they too would see amazing results but, sadly we live in a world where sales are similar to taking a number. Once the number is taken, it’s thrown in the trash. 

Relationships outlast the initial sale. I don’t treat clients like sales. I treat them as individuals and make their needs my priority. I’m different because I actually care about my clients. 

My Beto client last week touched my heart. Her journey hasn’t been easy. Both of her parents were sentenced to prison when she was only one year old. She had also just given up her apartment and had her car towed a week prior to her scheduled wedding at Beto. Hearing this news days before the wedding and knowing she had a two year old son touched my heart. How could I find her help for a very stressful situation? I quickly went to my contacts at Womens Haven and Union Gospel Mission as well as deeply discounting my fee and even offering to drive her to Beto myself. 

At her photo shoot, I asked her “what her plans were for her and her son?” My bride had family in East Texas but, her son attended school in Forest Hill and my client didn’t want to pull him out of the school she had fought to get him into. Her son’s school took precedence over any decision she would make to find a new home and job to support herself and her young son. 

It’s not well known but, my twin sister and I were residents at Women’s Haven ourselves at fifteen years old. Homeless and alone, Cindy and I both lived at the center until we could get on our feet again. During my divorce, I worked 2-3 jobs to support myself and my son while paying his Ad Lidem attorney and my own attorney. Without my twin sister helping me by taking care of my son, I have no idea how I would’ve afforded childcare back then. 

I’m driven and determined because I’ve always had to be. I’m compassionate because I’ve learned that caring about others journey is rare but, I care far more than anyone realizes. 

Yesterday as I was driving back from Dallas North Tower and the county clerk, my Beto bride called me regarding filing the license. An issue she faced was that she no longer lived at the address she had given when purchasing her marriage license. If I filed the license for her, it would be mailed to the old address. I spent some time going over a few alternatives with my client that included going to the post office to put a hold on her mail at her old address as well as getting a P.O. Box or filing the license in person. 

If I file a wedding license, it’s mailed directly to the address given by the couple. If a client files the license in person, the license is recorded and handed back. I suggested this option to ensure the license wasn’t lost in the mail and put gas money in the envelope containing her wedding photos to be sure she wouldn’t run out of gas getting to Dallas. I hadn’t heard from her prior to running to Dallas myself yesterday morning and assumed she had filed the license herself last Friday. Otherwise, I would have driven her to Dallas myself to spare her the trip and the expense of gasoline. 

This morning as I prepare for a call from Kate, a journalist on my way to Tarrant County Detention Center, I wonder if my bride has been by my office to pick up her wedding photos and gas money? I wonder if she has found a place to stay or a job and I wonder how the burden of expenses involved to be a Prison wife will affect her life? I worry constantly about my clients. I can’t help myself.

There’s a stack of mail in my office awaiting my attention. There’s also a five page questionnaire for Power Woman Of 2019 awaiting my attention. I have 172 emails to answer and I have a text from Cindy. My day is off to a “roaring start.”

Cindy now has both of her adult daughters and all three of her grandchildren living with her. I’ve talked to Adult Protection Services in Valdosta and Texas. The “Stephaney Situation” is finally blowing over although I may need to testify in Valdosta, Georgia regarding how my niece wound up there and how I realized that there was a problem while at Wynn Unit with my client in Huntsville, Texas. It’s a long story.

Cindy is overwhelmed at “trying to make everyone else happy in my home other than myself.” Cindy does it all and without my help, Cindy would be doing it alone. Maryssa and Makenna argue incessantly and Leigh Ann has a chip on her shoulder regarding her sister, Stephaney moving back home. “Five females fighting” is an ongoing rerun at Cindy’s house. Arguing over the bathrooms, arguing over the chores, arguing about each other. I could go on and on here. Cindy lives at Camp Chaos. Don’t let the happy smile you see Cindy wearing fool you. Cindy spent seventeen years caring for our selfish grandmother. My sister finally snapped over our grandmother and kicked her out after nearly eighteen years. I would have never moved her in. I’m far less tolerant of moochers and morons than Cindy. My twin has the soft heart regarding our family that I possess regarding our clients. It’s a fact. 

Cindy has spent her entire adult life caring for her children and grandchildren and Cindy needs a vacation. Cindy loves leaving her fighting family behind to jump in my SUV and head off to meet clients. Who could blame her? At home, chaos and more chores await my overworked twin sister. 

After listening to Cindy nearly crying while I sat in my SUV at the Tarrant County Clerks Office preparing to file licenses before walking across the street to the county jail, I butt in and suggested “laying down the law. It’s your house. Your adult children are guests. I’m highly concerned about Leigh Ann’s husband, Alex coming to stay from July to August and bringing more chaos. You need to establish rules and guidelines. If you don’t, I will.” Cindy knows I will and it will be far less confrontational if she would snap and start putting her own needs first. If she can’t though, I certainly can.  

My Beto bride sends a text asking “are you home?” I’m twenty minutes from home but at least an hour from attending to filing licenses and meeting my Tarrant County client. I suggest meeting me for lunch at the 7th street Starbucks in an hour after she picks up her wedding photos and gas money. I’m highly concerned about her and her child and have a list of suggestions for her to get back on her feet. I have plenty of time to get to Jack County Jail and Parker County Jail to meet my afternon clients before heading to Willow Lake Event Center with Cindy at 4PM. Leigh Ann will pick up Maryssa and Makenna at 3:30PM and after their incessant arguing this morning on the way to school, Cindy could use a break from the twins and Leigh Ann quite frankly. 

Yesterday, Cindy and I were with our clients at Taylor’s rental looking at bar height tables and chairs for a June graduation party when Leigh Ann sent a group text to Cindy and I regarding Stephaney. I was instantly lit because when my family know we are with clients, the last thing I need are to be blasted with family bickering but, Leigh Ann consistently and repeatedly makes her problems a priority to her mother and I. “Maddy had milk on her mouth and I asked where that milk came from? I went into the living room and Stephaney was eating cereal and had been sharing it with Maddy. I’m so furious about this that my hands are shaking!” 

I walked out of Taylor’s to call Leigh Ann. While she attempted to interrupt me, I interrupted her. “Listen, we are on location with clients. We don’t care about your problems and if Maddy wasn’t hungry she wouldn’t be asking Stephaney to feed her. You need to go feed your daughter and stop disrupting us with stupidity while we are working. We don’t care how mad you are. Now we are mad you bothered to dump your problem on us. Grow up.” I then hung up and practiced smiling in the parking lot before walking back to my clients and sister. 

I abhor disruptions to my carefully orchestrated agenda from family members and everyone realizes it. And yet, the consistent disruptions from my family are a regular and consistent occurrence in not only my life but my twin sisters too. Dash it all. 

What Leigh Ann should have been doing was feeding Maddy first and finishing the Sunday rehearsal photos second. But, explaining prioritizing to my niece is an escapade in futility. 

Meanwhile, my Bridgeport bride had sent me a message on FB that would have to wait until choosing tables and linens and my Allred client wanted to know about the Absentee Affidavit while my Torres client was concerned “about the glass” and my Eastham client wanted to know “how much longer the I60 would take?” My phone never stops ringing and bleeping alerts. 

Preparing myself to text back and answer emails from the Taylors parking lot after happily waving goodbye to my June clients, I turn to Cindy and say “about the California back and forth situation, I’ve come to a decision. We aren’t telling any of our adult children when we are leaving or arriving in California. We need a few days of fun without being drug into drama in San Diego with Leigh Ann, the twins and Alex. We won’t check in on FB. We will pretend we are still in Texas. Wink. Wink.” 

Cindy is shocked by my “plan.” I’m not. I need a break from my family and whether Cindy knows it or not, she does too. My sister is thinking. I jump in before she can respond (as usual) “listen, we are exhausted and overwhelmed. We have a podcast with Karen and then the Twyce Twins, a press release for Power Woman Of The Year, a follow up interview with Kate, and we are juggling 29 clients with new clients each and everyday. We need a vacation and I’m booking us into The Beverly Hills Bungalow for three days of spa, shopping and fun before we hit the bricks on that August wedding in two cities. It’s going to be an ass whipping and if we don’t catch our breath, I’m afraid we will be in the hospital from pure exhaustion. We are bouncing from Louisiana to Arkansas to Oklahoma to California seven times between August and October. It’s time to put our needs in the “front pocket” in order to be camera ready and refreshed for our clients. Our families and their chaos are killing us with stress Pal. Unlike our clients, they dont appreciate our sacrifice today, tomorrow or ever. With them it’s me, me, me, I, I, I. We must hopefully before our 55th birthday in November, learn to put our demanding kids and chaos on the back burner.” 

Warily, and probably feeling guilty (as usual) my twin sister agreed. Traveling gives us the opportunity to enjoy each other’s company but, thanks to cell phones, our family is always a text or phone call away from screwing up the day. It’s a fact.

My son and his wife have been traveling together as an Officiant and photography team the past 4 years. When my son and his wife get into an argument, everyone in my family hears about it. My daughter in law “I can’t drive with him in the car. Nothing I do is right and he makes me nervous.” My son “Stephanie doesn’t pay attention. She’s either driving too slow or driving too fast.” Me “you two are married and work together. Try to stop bickering and work together on learning patience.” Cindy “Robert and Stephanie Hafele are arguing again.” Me “I cannot stop what’s coming. Those two think they are communicating when in fact they are arguing.”

When I’m on location with Leigh Ann as I was last weekend at one of my rehearsals, I’m called “The Boss.” I instruct Leigh Ann on locations for photos and how to pose the wedding party. I wonder how Leigh Ann will handle addressing clients in California when I’m not there telling her what to do? It’s a valid point. I recognize that more flights to California to “save the day” await the Texas Twins. Our adult children are needy and often demanding. Heavy sigh. 

For two years now, I’ve been bouncing between states for inmate weddings. It was essential due to my burgeoning client base to add Leigh Ann as a TDCJ Officiant and to bump county Jail Weddings as well as traditional requests for an Officiant/photographer to Robert and Stephanie. 

Cindy and I are both stretched to the limits. My traditional bookings are now three years out. Weekends and evenings that include holidays are taken up by traditional clients. 

Trying to find a day off is impossible during wedding season. As usual, my anniversary will be bumped into my birthday this year when things slow down. My husband accepts my overwhelming schedule. He knew when he married me that I was an overachiever and accepts it. He’s also fifteen years older than me and turns off his phone from 6PM to 8AM Monday through Friday and altogether on weekends. 

Matthew is “off work when he is off the clock.” We have very different views regarding client needs. I never turn my phone off which may be why my husband is “tuned in” on client needs and family chaos. He hears it all. 

My husband doesn’t have any family to burden him with their problems. I cannot imagine what a worry free blessing that would be to not have adult children or grandchildren and their problems dumped in your lap like my husband doesn’t. Seriously. My husband as well as Cindy’s husband don’t have children which is a remarkable comparison to Cindy and I with our “carnival of chaos kids and grandchildren.” Opposites do attract. Our marriages are proof of that.

I’m going to go over the certified marriage license to address questions about the process of changing an inmate status from single to married. While we are inside a unit, often there will be a copy of the marriage license filed with inmate records. This is not a certified copy. 

What constitutes a certified copy being available has a few caviats. First, the license must be signed by the Officiant AND then filed at the clerks office either in person by the client or via certified mail from me to the clerks office BEFORE a certified copy of the license is available for purchase. 

The certified copy bears a seal deeming it as certified to be true and correct. While the original marriage license (after being signed and filed) can be used for the DMV and SS Office, it CANNOT be used for a change of status to inmate records. 

Only a certified copy of the marriage license can accomplish this task. You will purchase and then mail the certified copy to inmate records at the Unit your spouse is incarcerated at. 

You have 30 days from the date I married you at the Unit to provide a certified copy. You will then need to change your name (if you intend to do so) on your state issued ID for visits to the Unit.

The reason that Units NOW REQUIRE a certified license is to prove the marriage license was filed and is legally binding. 

Apparently, several people were “going through the motions to get married” but, by not filing the license, were effectively not legally married. Due to this issue, certified marriage licenses are now a requirement at many if not all Units.

Reading a text from one of my Coffield Unit brides was truly good news today. The inmate has made parole and will finally be coming home. I cannot wait to Officiate their Vow Renewal with family and friends present to celebrate their new journey of freedom and promise together. God Bless my amazing couple and their resilience. What a blessing.

My Beto bride and sit down together to “go over her plans for her son and their new direction to move to East Texas.” Visiting for a little over an hour before running off to Jack County, I also prayed that this trip would bring my client a new job and positive direction although removing her son from school was somewhat troubling to her. At two years old, her son is resilient enough to change schools now as opposed to being older. I will order her certified license as the Officiant and forward it to her to send to the Unit. 

Since there are many questions about certified marriage licenses, I’m adding a photo of the questionare for Dallas County for your review. 

The cost in Dallas is $10. The cost may vary by county. Tarrant county charges $21. Unlike Dallas county, there is no form online in Tarrant county. Here’s the link– Tarrant County Certified Marriage License Request.

Juggling incoming emails and text messages while sitting in the parking lot of Jack County Jail, my husband sends me a text telling me he loves me. It’s the little things but the stinky skunk development problem is finally over and Matthew is relieved! Thank goodness. We’ve had a month of brain storming to solve the skunk issue and, it’s a month too long. 

I miss my happy go lucky husband. Matthew is actually hilarious when he isn’t stressed out. Cindy and I are looking forward to road tripping to Stiles, San Saba, Crain and Huntsville Units before heading back to Louisiana in May. We love getting away for a day or two and hitting the junk shops together. 

My husband prefers long walks with my feisty Beagle, Foxy Wortham along with the Golf Channel or NASCAR and a dry martini. 

Cindy’s husband left for Canada today so she has 5-6 days before Steve Daniel is back home for a 1-3 day “staycation” at Camp Chaos AKA Cindy and Steve’s house. 

With five females fighting over the bathroom, I’m guessing Steve was “ready to roll.” Fighting for a bathroom isn’t fun at Cindy’s house. I drink a lot of water and coffee and it’s not uncommon for me to stop at Petro on my way to her house to effectively “stand in line.” 

Things will get worse when Alex comes to stay for a month before leaving for San Diego with Leigh Ann, Maddy and the twins. A summer in San Diego will do them all good and an empty house will be a Godsend to Cindy as we bounce all over the place to client bookings. 

In fact, I’m looking forward to Cindy staying at my house for our slumber parties and spook movie nights.

My Saturday clients are so much fun that Leigh Ann and I can’t wait to see them again. I love it when clients at outgoing and spirited at photo shoots.We love our LBGT clients and I’m looking forward to seeing the rest of the rehearsal photos for Brokk and Ruben. 

Since I’ve been asked, I do stop and start blogs between bookings. I just leave my WordPress app open and pick up where I’ve left off. All of my blogs are typed with one finger on my iPhone. Often, while waiting on a client at a Unit or venue. I spend a lot of time waiting as I’m always early.

I reviewed another email regarding someone else blogging on one of my sites and will once again go over why I have no interest in “guest writers.” First, my content is entirely my own and based on my experiences with clients and my family since they are both combined. 

Secondly, I have no interest in sharing my platform with others. 

Thirdly, I do not allow back links on any of my sites. Sorry, but, I’m not now nor will I ever be interested in having a guest blogger.

I’m off to the Parker County Courthouse and looking forward to meeting all of my new clients in the coming weeks…