Author: Wendy Wortham

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Headed To TDCJ Hilltop Unit And Gatesville, Texas A City Of Women’s Prisons…

Gatesville is one of the cities I frequent due to the number of Units located there. I had been contacted a few weeks ago by my client wishing to marry there and although this would be my first visit to Hilltop, I knew exactly where it was from passing it numerous times on my way to Hughes, Crain and my other “regular Unit stops.”

Gatesville is a city in and the county seat of Coryell County, Texas, United States. The population was 15,751 at the 2010 census. The city has five of the eight prisons and state jails for women operated by the Texas Department of Criminal Justice.

Hilltop is the hub of the six prisons in Gatesville. The Texas Department of Criminal Justice (TDCJ) described it as “a true prison farm” that “fittingly serves as the headquarters for the area’s agricultural operations.” 

The unit has pigs fed on feeder slabs and sixty horses used by field officers from surrounding prison units. The regional operations and maintenance departments are located at Hilltop. The unit hosts the pre-service and in-service area training facilities. Hilltop is the center of vehicle maintenance and repair work, and it serves as the area fuel depot.

The exteriors of the Hilltop buildings have bright white paint; the TDCJ says that the buildings “sparkle like white diamonds when the light is right.” Many building interiors have moldings dating from the 1890s. Some staircases are topped by pressed tin ceilings from era that the former Gatesville State School was built in. 

The Texas Building of Hilltop Unit was formerly Ferguson Hall; its current name stems from the concrete letters, colored in red, white, and blue, spelling “TEXAS.” The Texas Building’s first floor has classrooms and a library. The upstairs has an auditorium and a walled-in projection room. 

A cemetery containing graves of children of the former state school who died there is located across Business Highway 36.

Hilltop houses a program for female young offenders, located in the main Hilltop school. As of 2002 about 15 girls are in the program. 

The Hackberry Unit houses a Parole Modification and a Substance Abuse Felony Punishment Facility.

My groom had met his fiancée while visiting another inmate and former church member housed at Hilltop Unit. My groom was very excited to finally be marrying and I was surprised to learn he was from Azle, Texas. 

My husband has numerous developments in the Azle, Springtown, Lake Worth and Saginaw areas and as teens, Cindy and I briefly attended Azle High School. I never ask why an inmate is incarcerated however, my clients always wish to share the details. Delwyn was no exception. 

A deeply religious man, Delwyn arrived initially across the yard from my SUV at the Hilltop Unit but told me that “the visitation entry was on the other side.” Since I hadn’t been to this Unit before, I moved my SUV to follow and parked across from the Regional Directors Offices. Delwyn and I walked inside as Cindy waited in my SUV. We were of course in the wrong building and told to go back over to the main entrance. 

Delwyn and I both drove back to the main entrance at Hilltop and approached the tower guard. Due to the back and forth from one entrance to the next, Delwyn and I were both sweating profusely as we waited in the Texas sun for the guard to come out and count quarters for Unit photos after verifying our ID’s and then instructing us to go back over to the visitation entrance on the other side of the building. This was really unusual as traditionally, I enter through the main building, screen in with my clients and wait for an escort to the visitation area. 

Back parked at the visitation area, Delwyn and I were screened in. We walked across the street with two guards to wait on the gates to be unlocked but one of the keys wasn’t working. If I was overheated at the main entrance, I was really overheating waiting on another guard to come unlock the gate on the other side. But, waiting is the role of a prison wedding Officiant as well as my clients. We waited together as our escorts unlocked the gates and finally met Stacie standing smiling outside the visitation room. 

Upon entering the room, I went over “the rules.” There are strict rules regarding inappropriate contact during a prison wedding. Both parties are allowed two “pec kisses” and allowed to hold hands and briefly hug. 

Since I’m always asked about this, there are no conjugal visits at TDCJ facilities. Marriage ceremonies are generally “contact visits” unless the inmate is G4 or G5 status or for some other reason behind glass. If the inmate is behind glass, there is no contact.

Delwyn had sent me several “poses” he wanted for his wedding photos. I generally prefer to do photos after the ceremony because clients are relieved to get the wedding behind them and far more relaxed. 

Delwyn had also written his vows and the opening for my ceremony which is unusual but I enjoy creative client input. My couple were somewhat nervous as most couples marrying inside a prison are. 

Delwyn had brought a derby hat with him to the ceremony so I reached over to grab it and put it on him for one of their wedding photos together. I loved his bow tie too.

Hilltop didn’t have the painted walls in the visitation area that most Texas Units do but a beautiful tapestry had been hung on the wall which provided a dash of color. 

There are no special visits after a TDCJ wedding ceremony. We have 20-25 minutes inside the visitation area for your wedding. I time my ceremony to incorporate your vows and our timeline to give you sufficient time to say what you would like. If you have handwritten elements, please bring them with you.

As Delwyn and I were escorted back out of the visitation area, we both said goodbye to Stacie to follow the guard to the clearing area to await our photos to print. My favorite was the photo below because it shows just how much love Delwyn has for Stacie. I had decided to use the Coryell County Courthouse for a few groom photos and followed Delwyn there. Since my Grooms rarely take more than a few photos at their shoot, I had packed a few bouteniers and a sign for Delwyn and planned to incorporate his signed wedding license into the photos as well. 

Delwyn and I were both fairly overheated from standing outside Hilltop for over an hour together. I’m really looking forward to seeing Delwyn and Stacie again for their Vow Renewal and honored to have shared their Life Event at Hilltop Unit. Leaving the courthouse, I headed to the Dairy Queen drive through and was as surprised and delighted to see Delwyn standing at the counter across from me as he was to see Cindy and I. Like me, Delwyn had a long drive back to Azle while we were headed to Fort Worth and was thrilled to finally be married after a lengthy process to be granted permission to marry.

I’m at Connally Unit tomorrow with my beautiful bride, Victoria and at Buster Cole with Kelly on Friday. Can’t wait to meet you both.

My San Saba transfer from Plane Unit client had emailed me about August 20th at San Saba but I’m at Estelle Unit on the 20th about four hours from San Saba and due to the distance between both Units had to call San Saba for a secondary date. The first option was August 13th but, I’m at Telford Unit on the 13th so I will finally meet my groom at San Saba on August 27th at 10AM.

I answer a lot of questions about scheduling. The timeline to plan and execute your Prison wedding in Texas is 4-8 weeks. Clients booking first are my first priority. I cannot and will not “move an existing client and confirmed date at another Unit” to accommodate a new booking. What I can do is choose my next available date. As you know, I do not and will not advertise. My reasons for this are to keep my schedule flexible for my booked clients. 

I have other family members Approved to officiate your Texas Prison Wedding however, most clients only want me to officiate their wedding. Because of this, first booked clients take priority. Clients booking mid month are at the end of the month are accommodated based on my existing schedule.

My Gib Lewis booking for next Thursday was “chained out.” We now follow the groom. There are many chains in Texas at this time so when an inmate is “on a chain,” we wait and refill the I60 once the inmate is situated at the next Unit. 

For my Louisiana, Oklahoma, Arkansas and California clients, we look forward to meeting ya all soon and like you wish that you had two days per month as an option to marry. However, the limited window available for your Prison Weddings are how I can move from one state to the next. If every state had two days per month to marry, it would be impossible for me to be everywhere on the limited number of days available which is why “stacking” works not only for you but also me. Stacked clients are discounted because I’m at one Unit with more than one client. Because of this, I discount all of my clients as a courtesy. 

It’s another busy weekend coming up with destination wedding in Colorado for our traditional clients who have booked a Vow Renewal. My last visit to Colorado was to spread my father in law’s ashes and I’m looking forward to a joyous visit this time around to Colorado.

Please remember to bring your marriage license, ID and quarters if you wish to buy Unit photos with you to your Texas or other state prison wedding. 

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Out And About With Clients & More Questions Regarding Out Of State Marriage Licenses…

This morning while preparing to leave Bell Tower Chapel and head to a rehearsal brunch for my previous Coffield Unit clients wedding tonight, another question came through regarding using an out of state marriage license to marry in a Texas Prison. 

Let’s review this ongoing controversy and understand that while a marriage license from Texas CAN LEGALLY be used in other states that a prison Warden makes the final judgment on whether or not to allow an out of state marriage license at a Texas prison or any other prison for that matter.

“Can I use my Texas marriage license to get married in another state?” 

First and foremost- you should know that a Warden can and may refuse to allow you to marry in a Texas Prison with an out of state marriage license. Subsequently, a Prison in another state may refuse to allow you to marry in their state with a marriage license from another state. What’s “widely accepted” outside of Prisons isn’t always “widely accepted” inside Prisons. The Warden can and does make decisions pertaining to the inmate. The Unit also REQUIRES you have a marriage license on wedding day. 

It’s in your best interest to contact the Unit PRIOR to purchasing an out of state marriage license to inquire as to what the Unit requires by asking if an “out of state marriage license will be accepted by the Unit in place of an in state marriage license.” 

This question regarding out of state licenses continues to pop up but, each state has different rules. Each prison Warden makes the final call on what’s accepted and what isn’t. Please check with the clerks office  and ESPECIALLY the Prison Unit itself prior to purchasing an out of state marriage license for a Prison wedding in another state. 

A marriage license issued in the State of Texas can be used for ceremonies in other States. Texas law doesn’t “specifically dictate or mandate Prison Marriage” however and the Warden has the final say on what will be accepted and more importantly what won’t be accepted in terms of your marriage license on wedding day at his or hers Unit. 

Please contact your out-of-state officiate before applying for a State of Texas marriage license. 

Please also keep in mind your license will only be recorded in the County and State in which you applied for the license.

I’m going to once again strongly encourage you to contact the Unit prior to arriving on wedding day in Texas with a Louisiana marriage license or in Oklahoma with a Arkansas marriage license or in California with a Texas marriage license TO MARRY AT A PRISON. As many of you are already well aware, Prisons follow their own protocol. 

If I arrive at a Unit and the Unit denies you entry to marry based on your “out of state marriage license,” you will forfeit my fee as I’ve just driven or traveled several hours to meet you for your Prison wedding. 

If you have arrived with an out of state license “because you read on the internet” that you could do so without contacting the Unit to verify the facts, you did so at your own risk. I cannot stress this enough. 

Marriage licenses are closely scrutinized on wedding day at all prisons and the use of an out of state marriage license has been denied at Texas prisons before. 

The Warden makes the rules. Not the internet or someone posting that “you can use any other states marriage license for your prison wedding in Louisiana, Texas, Oklahoma and Mississippi.” You can only do what the Unit and the Warden authorize you to do. 

Be aware of false or misleading information as a wedding outside of a prison has BY FAR more flexibility. A wedding inside a Prison follows protocol. 

Call the Unit yourself if you have doubts but stop trusting “whatever you found on the internet to be accurate.” Stop sending me screenshots of what you read on someone else’s site too. She’s selling a service. She’s also pitching her product. She’s also not in Texas. I know who she is and I also know that her information is unverified. Are you willing to have your wedding cancelled because she gave you inaccurate information? No one else is either. Call the UNIT! 

Arriving at Fixe today to meet the wedding party for brunch before our rehearsal, I’d taken a few minutes to review the menu and loved the creative ideas for food options. Of course I opted for a spicy Bloody Mary (as usual). This was a really celebratory day. After two years, seeing my beautiful bride again was a joyous honor for me. I love happy endings. 

The brunch menu was biscuits and gravy, shrimp and grits and deviled eggs with sauerkraut and caviar along with a really unique salad featuring blue crab. I’d never tried caviar although my husband loves it and was surprised at the saltiness. 

All in all though, this was a fabulous, fun and memorable brunch. I really enjoyed meeting my brides closest friends, family and children. 

My husband checked in on me as I was preparing to head to the rehearsal. We timed the rehearsal after brunch so the wedding party had plenty of time to get ready for wedding hour on site. 

It’s unusual to have the rehearsal and the wedding on the same day for my clients but due to traveling to and from Fort Worth for the wedding, creativity was in order. My clients are leaving for a cruise from Galveston this evening. 

Cindy and Stephaney were working a Willow Lake Event Center wedding while my son was working a Baptism in Dallas. As usual on weekends, the team was split up. Leigh Ann was working a wedding in San Diego and recovering from her “near kitchen fire” yesterday afternoon at the Inns Of The Marines. Leigh Ann and Alex will be in San Diego for another 49 days before moving to their new home on the base at Point Mugu. Leigh Ann had tried to cook dinner last night for Alex and Maddy with disasterous results in San Diego. 

My niece and grandniece are adjusting to the California move aside from cooking of course and enjoying the beach. My sister, Tammy is meeting Leigh Ann this week and excited about seeing Maddy again. My sister lives in Lompoc and is “still trying to get used to driving in Los Angeles.” 

Although Cindy and I have no fear whatsoever of jumping on the highway, our older sister, Tammy prefers “driving in town.” We are working on getting Tammy comfortable on the 405 and 605. Los Angeles traffic isn’t for the faint hearted or nervous driver. It takes far too long to use the 101 from Santa Barbara all the way up the coast although Tammy loves the 101. 

If you have time to take the 101, it’s worth the drive alongside the ocean but, in the Prison wedding business, making out your location and the timeline is essential to getting to your Unit early which is why I frown on the leisurely 101. Sure, it’s less hectic but it’s also far more time consuming and riddled with red lights. I’ve driven the 101 for thirty years when I’m not in a hurry but prefer the freeway because it’s been years since I’ve had the luxury of taking my time to drive from one location to the next. 

My dog, Foxy Wortham hasn’t adjusted too well after his dental surgery and the bite marks on my fingers from trying to pry his mouth open look like I have poison ivy. 

Looking at my battered manicure while writing this blog, it should be noted that the vet suggested this idea after the ongoing battle to get Foxy to take his meds became just too much. I’ve decided that after Foxy there will be no more pets at WorthamWorld. I travel too much and my husband loves dogs but caring for a dog requires a lot of commitment. Foxy is nearly 13 years old now and set in his ways. Biting me is new but he’s old and cranky. I’ve accepted getting but every morning but it’s a pain I can assure you. 

Tomorrow I’m in Dallas County then headed to Winstar Casino to marry my “second time around senior couple” who met on a gambling trip to the casino. I love learning how my couples met and find their stories fascinating. Cindy and I will be hitting the slots as usual and looking forward to a few hours of fun. 

Tuesday I’m at Hilltop and Crain Units in Gatesville and my husband is joining me. A road trip with my husband isn’t nearly as fun as with my twin sister but, Cindy will be tied up getting the twins ready to go back to school. 

Wednesday I’m back in Parker County and looking forward to buying school supplies for the twins and grabbing a quick lunch with them. 

Thursday I’m at Connally Unit and Friday back at Buster Cole. Next week is jam packed too. I’m looking forward to finally meeting all of you in person to celebrate your wedding day. 

Like everyone else, I’m depressed and shocked at the recent shootings. Cindy and I both attended the garlic festival many times in California. I had told Leigh Ann and Alex not to stop in El Paso when they left for California last week for strong reasons. 

Thirty years ago, Cindy and I had stopped in El Paso on our way to my home in San Clemente and we’re nearly robbed. I am always aware of dangerous areas and the world is becoming a far more dangerous place. 

Tragedy seems to be occurring far more often than when I was younger. Danger lurks at every corner these days and because I’m always asked “why I prefer prison weddings to traditional events,” I will reiterate that I’ve never been hurt at a Prison wedding. I’ve never encountered a drunk on location at a Prison pushing me or being abusive. 

I’ve had some pretty wild and unpredictable occurrences at “traditional events” outside of prisons over the years and I don’t miss the open bars and brawls either. In fact, I will never miss them. My team won’t either. I’m too old to get hurt on location. I’m tired of dealing with Inlaws and Outlaws and parties of 250 and more guests. I’m picky and selective because I can be. I’m dedicated to making your Dream Event a reality and the last thing I need are broken ribs from drunken groomsmen fighting around me on location. Arrests at wedding? Yes. Over and over and over again. I prefer joy. I prefer fun and I prefer my Prison clients! 

Many of our previous clients were alarmed that I had posted pulling back from large events but the pulling back was meant for new clients. Rebookings are the mainstay of our business and Vow Renewals for our previous Prison clients are booked twenty years out. We love seeing all of you again. We are honored to have shared your journey. We are just as excited as you are to marry again long after lock up. The flowers, the friends, the cake, the champagne and all of the things you didn’t have at your Prison wedding are all of the things you will have at your Vow Renewal and we are as thrilled as you are about it. 

It was a long road for you. Many of you have told me “I was doing time too while he or she was inside. I was driving long hours to the Unit. Paying expensive phone calls. Going through the screening process. Waking up alone. Paying the bills alone and paroling out means that I will never have to make that drive along again. I paid my dues.” You’re absolutely right and the sacrifices you’ve made to make your marriage work are amazing. 

You are all warriors. You’ve overcome everything going against you to make your love last and you are the most inspiring and resilient group of amazing people I’ve ever met. I love ya all and I couldn’t be more honored to be sharing your Life Event with you whether it’s in a prison or long after lock up on the other side of the razor wire… 

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Manipulated Into Marriage? More Drama & Tough Talks To Protect My Clients…

After a long weekend of “peopling” at events for twelve days in a row, Sunday evening our caravan of SUVs headed to Dallas, Texas for a 6:30PM birthday party at Pappadeux for my TDCJ Holliday Unit client Leantrinette who had requested photography services. Meanwhile, across the street at Pappasitos, a going away party for my niece, Leigh Ann and her daughter, Maddy was going on with retirement party at the same location. Three events at the same time? Yes! It isn’t easy being the Texas Twins ya all.

Arriving and jumping out of my SUV with Cindy while her husband got behind the wheel to follow Leigh Ann, Cindy and I met Leantrinette and her children in the parking lot. This was a surprise birthday party for her mother. We really enjoyed meeting everyone and were hoping our other events across the street were going well without us on site. 

Cindy and I spent about forty minutes visiting with Leantrinette and her family capturing photos and visiting awaiting her moms arrival to get photos of the entire birthday party group.The lighting inside Pappadeux was an issue so Cindy decided to move the families outside for group shots. Photography is and can be challenging when trying to capture the perfect shot.

Last week while trying to get four year old twins to pose perfectly in Dallas, my Ellis Unit client was determined for the perfect photo but working with children all of these years has taught us to let the children play or do what they want while keeping our cameras in sport mode. 

When we are working with large groups, getting everyone facing the camera at the same time especially when children are on site isn’t always possible. Because of this, my twin and I have effectively learned   “roll with it” and allow children to express themselves naturally rather than instructing them to smile or pose on location. Letting children play and have fun together rather than trying to offer direction is the best way of capturing their personalities on film. Leantrinettes children and their cousins were happy and playful. Running from Pappadeux to Pappasitos since all of our SUVs were on site at Pappasitos, Cindy and I said a quick goodbye to Leantrinette and her mom after group shots to see how things were going at Pappasitos. A text had alerted me to the possibility of one of the retirement party guests having a “few too many” so I was anxious to get back across the street and address the issue. 

One of our clients at the retirement party had a bit too much Tequila and needed a cab. This happens at events with alcohol frequently so it’s essential that getting anyone home safely is planned well in advance. Thankfully, the retirement party went on without further interruption. 

Meanwhile at Leigh Ann’s going away party, her daughter, Maddy was having a great time. My other niece, Stephaney and her twin daughters love Pappasitos. It’s rare we have three events at the same time within a block of each other but, I always try to factor distance from Event A to Event B due to travel time. When Leantrinette needed a photographer on short notice, I had already decided that being within close proximity to the other celebrations would make everything work. 

Driving home with Cindy, Steve, Maryssa and Stephaney in my SUV, I saw a text from my Wynn Unit client that read “do you have time to talk?” I called her back on Bluetooth and spent forty minutes going over the reasons I would contact the Unit and cancel her wedding. This call was rare in that it’s not often I instruct clients not to marry. In general, all of my clients are determined to marry. But now and then, when I hear the details, I give solid reasons for my clients to step back and re evaluate. I also give them my reasons for doing so. 

An interviewer surprised that none of my Prison clients had divorced point blank stated “Wendy isn’t it true that even after marrying your clients that they contact you for advice and insight?” The answer was “yes, that it is true because my clients often have very little support on the outside.” 

I’m everyone’s mother. I never stop taking their calls and I don’t want anyone I’ve ever married to regret their decision to marry. Because of my firm belief that it’s far easier to marry than divorce, I will always advise any of clients with cold feet to hold off.

After listening to the history of my client and the inmate, alarm bells were going off not only with me but for everyone in my SUV. Apparently, this offender has a history of violence and drug abuse. 

My client has a child and she had previously believed that “the inmate would change.” After a recent visit at the Unit and subsequent two hours of verbal abuse from the inmate, my client like myself no longer believes this to be true. 

Driving back to Fort Worth, I continued to listen and grow even more concerned. Twenty three minutes into the call, I advised Melissa not to marry this inmate. “He calls up to thirty times a day which is very expensive. He’s demanding, angry and manipulating.” 

The list continued to grow. From demanding phone calls to accusations of infidelity and even having other inmates loved ones calling Melissa when she didn’t take his calls, this inmate was attempting to control her entire life “from the inside.” 

I told Melissa “he is thoughtless and has a history of violence towards you. He is destroying your emotions and your finances aling with any degree of peace or joy in your life. He is also not “the one.” 

Giving her a moment to grasp the reality and extent of control that was occurring with this inmate, I strongly advised Melissa “you must put your own needs first. You must put your child’s needs by far above the inmates. You must also change your phone number and move forward in your life. I will contact the Unit and cancel your paperwork. When you find Mr Right, call me. I will marry you myself.”

The plumbing at Cindy and Steve’s house was on the fritz due in part to having all three of her granddaughters as well as both of her daughters and her son in law, Alex and Cindy’s husband Steve in the same house. The shower wasn’t working Saturday morning which caused a great deal of chaos. I attempted to find a plumber but because we were off site all weekend working and Leigh Ann was moving to California on Monday, Cindy decided to wait until today to locate a plumber. She also instructed her entire household to “bathe in the pool.” Being overwhelmed is a constant factor at my sisters house and in her life. She has a peanut gallery of people living under her roof. 

Monday morning with a heavy heart, I drove to Weatherford to help pack up Leigh Ann and Maddy’s room. The loss of Maddy in Cindy’s house would be immense. I knew it. Cindy knew it. We also knew that Alex cannot pack a vehicle. How so? Three years ago, Alex attempted to pack a VW Jetta and it would be Cindy and I (as usual) who finally got the car packed for Leigh Ann and Alex.

Arriving at Cindy’s, there were bags everywhere. After seeing just how many items Leigh Ann WANTED to take and what would fit, I drove to Walmart and bought vacuum bags. Cindy began emptying the Ross bags Leigh Ann had filled while I began loading the vacuum bags. It was exhausting. 

Leigh Ann and Alex had waited until the last minute to even begin packing. When I tell you my family is unorganized without Cindy and I taking the wheel around here, I’m not kidding. With my dog, Foxy who had ridden with me to Weatherford for a 2PM vet appointment running wild and watching Maddy play with him while my twin grandnieces, Maryssa and Makenna cried about losing Maddy moping around the house, Cindy and I continued to get the work needed completed. Leigh Ann and Alex must check in at San Diego on August 31st. Leigh Ann and Alex were busy trying to add more items that were never going to fit without the use of vacuum bags. Their other household items are in Navy storage in Oxnard. Thank God the Navy packs and moves for them because if they didn’t, Wendy and Cindy would have to drop everything and go move Leigh Ann and Alex just like we move my son and his wife.

Alex arrived at DFW three weeks ago. Three weeks ago, Cindy and I knew we would lose Maddy. The baby who brought joy into Cindy’s home and our lives. We knew this day would come and yet we were unprepared for the sense of loss telling Maddy “goodbye for now.” We both worried about not being there to give sage advice about swimming lessons or worrying about Maddy falling or wandering off while Leigh Ann was busy shopping or preoccupied. We both strongly discussed the importance of watching Maddy at all times. Cindy and I were even more concerned when Alex was loading a few items Sunday morning and allowing Maddy to wander around in the driveway. Cindy had been backing out of the garage when her daughter Stephaney screamed “Stop! Stop! Stop!” Cindy was on her Bluetooth with her husband, Steve at Lowes trying to buy items to repair the shower and didn’t see Maddy walking behind her SUV. Poor Alex who hasn’t been around Maddy in two and a half years has no idea of how quickly taking your eyes off Maddy can turn into a dangerous situation. But, Cindy and I took this moment to advise both he and Leigh Ann that “nothing is more important than watching Maddy.” Alex loves Maddy but Maddy has had our entire family watching over her for three years. Maddy won’t have twin MiMi’s or twin cousins looking after her in California. Maddy will only have Alex and Leigh Ann. Am I worried about this? Yes. There are valid reasons I stood in Cindy’s driveway yesterday going over what not to do with two parents of a precarious and curious toddler who is a handful. The reasons are that Cindy and I won’t be there “watching over Maddy.” Leigh Ann is accustomed to our entire family watching Maddy. Alex isn’t accustomed to his young daughter saying no to everything he asks her to do. This is going to be a transition ya all. A huge transition. With their SUV finally packed, I went over removing electronic devices at the hotel there prevent a break in. I went over putting Maddy in the car seat before doing anything else. I went over putting Maddy in her stroller at the hotel. I went over using a buggy at grocery stores to keep Maddy from running off. I went over making sure Maddy can’t open doors by using the child safety locks Cindy had packed. I went over that Maddy needs constant attention at all times especially in public where she could wander off. Cindy went over never letting Maddy out of their sight. We both cried with Maryssa and Makenna and Stephaney while Maddy waved “bye see you soon.” My son and his wife are at their OB/GYN appointment this morning to check her pregnancy. I’m waiting and writing this blog while answering emails and worrying about Maddy. They made it to the hotel. Steve left for Canada at 6AM Monday. He’s on the road and worried about coming home to “no Maddy.” He will miss her. We all will. Good grief I’m heartsick as is Cindy.

I’m leaving my son and his wife’s appointment to pick up my Roach Unit client, Ashley who is afraid to drive in downtown Fort Worth to drive her to the clerks office myself to buy her marriage license. 

My schedule is jam packed and I’m working a California trip into October before Leigh Ann and Alex move to Point Mugu. Leigh Ann will almost certainly return to Texas for the holidays while Alex is on sea duty. Our homes are so empty without Maddy. 

Please keep my beautiful Michael Unit bride in your prayers as she continues her treatments. We love you Carmela.I’ve been emailing and calling plumbers since yesterday morning. Getting a plumber isn’t easy. Cindy and Stephaney attempted to repair the shower themselves with disastrous results last night. The end result? Cindy called the city to turn off the water. Ugh. 

Having plumbing problems and missing Maddy aren’t helping Cindy’s stress levels. My husband is on vacation next week an I’m on site at five different Units. My husband doesn’t understand my schedule or what I do. My husband has decided to join me at Hilltop Unit on Tuesday and Buster Cole Unit on Friday. Cindy will be rolling with me on Wednesday to Roach Unit to finally marry Ashley and on Thursday to Connally Unit to marry Victoria. 

Well the trip to the clerks office with Ashley was a bust because the clerks will no longer accept a notarized copy of the inmate ID. Clients, please make sure your inmates ID is on the TDCJ issued Offender Identification Certification Form photo of the ID. This form must be notarized. Here’s a sample photo of the correct form. Ashley called inmate records regarding getting another ID on the correct form only to learn that the inmate had Chained Out of Roach Unit so we will be following the groom again. Many Chain Outs are occurring in Texas. Please verify prior to visitation to ensure the inmate hasn’t been put on a chain ya all. The likelihood is high right now due to Trusty Camp closures. 

As usual, I’m on the run and returning calls to clients and plumbers. I haven’t heard from Leigh Ann and Alex. They were in New Mexico last night. Hopefully, a plumber gets to Cindy’s house soon because four females and no running water are a volatile mix…     

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Headed To Hobby With A Reschedule At Michael, Maddy Moving To California And More…

On my way to LeBlanc Unit Monday, a notification about a message came through. I quickly had Cindy read it to me. My Hobby Unit client was messaging me about being on site Thursday. Panicked because I go from one day to the next on a strict schedule, I had Cindy check my Thursday last week. Thankfully, I was at Green Bay Unit in the morning leaving plenty of time to “high tail it” from Fort Worth to Marlin, Texas. 

After posting photos on my page, I had several people contact me to ask “are they BOTH women?” The answer is yes. They are both women and this is my second biracial same sex wedding at Hobby. The guards remembered me from my previous wedding ceremony. Why? Because I’m friendly and courteous to TDCJ Staff at all times that’s why. 

My previous clients photo at Hobby Unit brought on harsh criticism and comments that I consistently deleted. Why did I delete these racist and homophobic comments? In order to protect my client. The internet has literally become a legion of bullies who will comment on damn near anything with negativity. Here’s the photo.For those unaware of this, I pose my clients for Unit photos. Why? Because they are already nervous and need direction and insight. At their wedding, I was laughing and obviously not posed or prepared for the group photo which is why my neck is at an odd angle. My clients were relieved to finally be legally married. All of my Prison clients are. The process is difficult and lengthy to marry an inmate. I don’t “normally” have an angled pose from the side but my client, Brianna, loved this photo even though I appear to be “awkwardly posed.” Stacie had encountered traffic driving to Hobby from Beaumont, Texas. Ironically, Cindy and I were just in Beaumont three days prior to being at Hobby. Because Stacie was running late, I went on in at Hobby to check in with the Unit and advise them that my client was due any minute. 

By the time Stacie walked into the clearing Unit, she was very nervous and fearful of vomiting. Throughout my years as an Officiant, I have been vomited on and if someone tells me they “feel like throwing up,” I move. Thankfully though, Stacie didn’t throw up and the ceremony went well. Stacie has known her partner for 13 years. 

While many assume that anyone marrying an inmate was a pen pal, I’ve yet to marry anyone who had never met the inmate in person although I did marry someone at Michael Unit who hadn’t seen her fiancée in thirty years until walking into Michael on wedding day. After leaving the Unit, Cindy and I decided to use the railroad tracks and backdrop of nature for Stacies bridal photo shoot with us. 

While waiting on the photos to print or even prior to entering the visitation area, all of my clients share their story of how they met their partner. Many of these journeys are fascinating to me. Why? Because choosing to marry an inmate is a huge commitment. The relationship of marrying an inmate can often be viewed as one sided on numerous points and dedication is a factor of making the union work. 

Loving an inmate is lonely and expensive. Loving an inmate is a difficult journey. Loving an inmate requires commitment.Stacie was a lot of fun and willing to try on anything I handed her as well as a hot pink cowboy hat. I love it when clients have a good time. The reason we almost always do photos after the ceremony is because clients are finally relieved the wedding is past them. They are also far more relaxed. 

Stacie will be hiring Cindy and I again for their unique Vow Renewal. What makes it unique? The couple will renew their vows on Halloween with a theme revolving around black. The last themed wedding Cindy and I did was Beauty and the Beast. We loved it. I can’t wait to see Stacie again and celebrate parole of her wife at the Walls Unit.

Headed back to Fort Worth for my rehearsal at Mercado Event Center, one of my Michael Unit brides called me because the notary at Michael refused to notarize a Corrective Affidavit. This was a long shot but I asked “can you contact the other woman and get her to sign the dissolution agreement?” Luckily, she could. Problem solved. When inmates sign these Informal Marriage Affidavits, they have no real idea that this document doesn’t magically disappear but, it doesn’t. TDCJ keeps the CLM Affidavit on file and your inmate status isn’t single instead it’s Common Law Married.

Most Units WILL notarize a Corrective Affidavit for an inmate. In fact, I’m marrying my Telford Unit client in August after undoing yet another “CLM status of the inmate to someone other than her situation” held us up for over two months in the planning process. 

My Roach Unit bride has had weeks of hurdles. WEEKS. I met her at the Tarrant County Clerks Office two weeks ago where she was denied issuance of a marriage license. This denial was due entirely to the law librarian not notarizing the Absentee Affidavit. 

I called the librarian at Roach Unit while sitting beside my crying client and explained the “missing notary stamp situation” and more importantly, the timeline of my clients scheduled and confirmed July 17th wedding at Roach Unit. 

Due to the problems of not having the notary stamp and waiting to get a notarized Affidavit for my client to purchase a marriage license, I was forced to move the confirmed date from July to August. 

After waiting months to get approved and get that date at Roach Unit, Ashley was devastated. I mailed a new Absentee Affidavit obtained from the Tarrant County Clerk with the old Absentee Affidavit because an Absentee Affidavit is ONLY VALID 30 days in Texas. From the post office, I again called the law librarian to advise her of what I was sending and why if she Notarized the original that due to the delay of Unit mail, by the time Ashley received it back that it would be effectively void and useless. 

It’s now been nearly two weeks since I sent the documents on Friday that arrived the following Monday. What’s the hold up? Buckle up because this one is a real struggle for me to understand and much less comprehend. First, the law librarian denied not notarizing the affidavit. I was holding it on my hand at the clerks office and obviously aware that she was incorrect. I don’t argue with anyone. Instead, I lay out the facts. I don’t have time to argue. I need solutions to problems not arguments. This Roach Unit issue was about to become even more frustrating as the days and weeks wore on. 

By last Thursday on my way to Hobby, Ashley called me because she still hadn’t received the Affidavit back. Without it, she couldn’t purchase a marriage license. I had already instructed Ashley to take the Texas Premarital Class, Twogether In Texas in order to waive the three day waiting period. When I see trouble ahead, I plan ahead. When someone at the Unit blatantly refuses to perform the task they have been given, I give them every opportunity to do so. I wait. I take several calls from my hysterical client while I wait. By Thursday though with a confirmed date at Roach on August 7th, I advised Ashley to contact the Courts in Huntsville, Texas. Contacting Access To Courts is the last option when waiting for someone to do the right thing is ineffective. I never suggest this first. I only suggest it last in Texas. My reason for having Ashley contact the Courts was because the law librarian had refused to return calls to Ashley or even me regarding notarizing the Absentee Affidavit. What happened? Why was she first denying sending the document without notarizing it and then refusing to notarize the new Affidavit? I have no idea. BUT, inmates have access to legal services per the Administrative Directive. 

The law librarian at Roach Unit was telling Ashley on the rare occasions that Ashley called and actually reached her in the law library that “Shane did not have access because he was in seg.” 

Let’s take a minute to review that statement. The inmate didn’t have access to a notary because he was segregated? “The Access to Courts Department is a statewide program that provides services to, and for, all TDCJ offenders. All offenders are afforded some type of access to a meaningful law library that, at a minimum, contains self-help publications, pertinent case law, codes, rules, and fill-in-the-blank legal forms. Depending on the classification of the offender, he or she will either be given direct or indirect access to the law library. Offenders with direct law library access are afforded an opportunity to receive a minimum of 10 hours of access per week. Offenders with indirect law library access are delivered three items of legal research materials per day, on three alternating days per week to their housing location.” 

There’s a valid reason I instructed Ashley to contact Access To Courts. The reason was that the law librarian was specifically denying or refusing to provide notary services. Inmates and even loved ones may very well be unaware of policy and procedure but, I’m not. Surprised? Don’t be. My role is by far more involved than anyone realizes. 

The law librarian was at fault for sending a document she knew very well required a notary seal. Furthermore, the consistent excuses and run around while refusing to notarize the new Affidavit was illogical to me. It’s a simple procedure. Why was this happening? I couldn’t understand why this continued to drag on. The ONLY option left with a ticking clock on a scheduled date to marry at the unit that requires a marriage license was to have Ashley contact the Courts. Since the law librarian was contacted by the Courts, the notarized Affidavit is in the mail. You see, the Courts know policy and procedure. But, for those unaware of notary services to inmates, I will elaborate… 

IV. Notary Public Services

A. Documents: Under both federal law (28 U.S.C. § 1746) and state law (Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code § 132.001), offenders incarcerated in Texas may use an unsworn declaration under penalty of perjury in place of a written declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit sworn before a notary public. 

Documents for which notarization is requested by an attorney, documents specifically exempted from the laws on unsworn declarations, and documents destined for another state or country requiring notary public service shall continue to require notary public service.

B. Scheduling: Offenders may request notary public service by submitting an I-60 to the unit ATC supervisor. Offenders requesting notary public service shall explain why an unsworn declaration will not be legally sufficient. Requests shall be acted upon, either denied or provided, within 72 hours of the receipt of the request.

Let’s review the Unsworn Declaration and why it cannot be used in place of an Absentee Affidavit in Texas. An Absentee Affidavit REQUIRES a notary seal. See where I’m going with this? 

What is an Unsworn Declaration? 

CIVIL PRACTICE AND REMEDIES CODE

TITLE 6. MISCELLANEOUS PROVISIONS
CHAPTER 132. UNSWORN DECLARATIONS
Sec. 132.001. UNSWORN DECLARATION. (a) Except as provided by Subsection (b), an unsworn declaration may be used in lieu of a written sworn declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit required by statute or required by a rule, order, or requirement adopted as provided by law.
(b) This section does not apply to a lien required to be filed with a county clerk, an instrument concerning real or personal property required to be filed with a county clerk, or an oath of office or an oath required to be taken before a specified official other than a notary public.

(c) An unsworn declaration made under this section must be:

(1) in writing; and

(2) subscribed by the person making the declaration as true under penalty of perjury.

(d) Except as provided by Subsections (e) and (f), an unsworn declaration made under this section must include a jurat in substantially the following form:

“My name is __________ _________ ____________, my

(First) (Middle) (Last)

date of birth is _________________, and my address is

_____________, ____________, _________, ____________,

(Street) (City) (State) (Zip Code)

and __________________. I declare under penalty of

(Country)

perjury that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed in _______ County, State of ________, on the ________ day of ________, ________.

(Month) (Year)

____________________

Declarant”

(e) An unsworn declaration made under this section by an inmate must include a jurat in substantially the following form:

“My name is __________ _________ ____________, my

(First) (Middle) (Last)

date of birth is _____________________, and my inmate

identifying number, if any, is __________________. I

am presently incarcerated in ________________________

(Corrections unit name) 

in _____________, _________, _______, ____________. I

(City) (County) (State) (Zip Code)

declare under penalty of perjury that the foregoing is true and correct.

Executed on the _____ day of ________, _______.

(Month) (Year)

I know there are folks out there who don’t love their job. I also know that there are folks out there who do. However, if your job function is being impeded because you don’t think inmates should marry or you simply want to exert power due to your position, there are valid reasons why policy and procedure exist. Unlike Ashley and Shane, I knew darn well that even in seg Shane had access to request a notary. But, rather than argue or even attempt to argue, I redirected Ashley to the Courts. 

Ashley doesn’t need more stress. Ashley like all of my clients “just wants to get married.” This issue at Roach has never come up before but again, I’m well versed on inmates having access to legal services. Why? I educate myself that’s why.

Most people especially arrogant people assume they are smarter than others. I don’t tell people I’m smart. I don’t need to because I show them instead. Experience is a great teacher but knowledge is power. 

The law librarian at Roach Unit for some reason that I may never understand deliberately sabotaged the Absentee Affidavit. I may never fully comprehend her reasons for sabotaging this wedding. 

I recognize and realize though that there are guards who don’t believe prisoners should have the right to marry. I’m also well aware that there are people within the free sector of the world who also don’t believe inmates should have the right to marry. 

A few days ago, someone not connected to me on LinkedIn commented on one of my posts “Inmates shouldn’t be allowed to marry. They are being punished.” Why he chose to voice his opinions on my post I have no idea. Generally though, I would have deleted this comment but, I chose not to. Why? Because I chose to respond instead. 

Ignorance is bliss for far too many people who assume that their opinions are important. This commenter and his opinions don’t affect my clients or their lives. Opinions of others don’t dictate anyone else’s life. 

My clients don’t care what others think of their unions. I don’t care what others think about my role as an open minded individual committed to making Dream Events affordable to anyone. 

My role is to make life events memorable. My role is to perform a task I’ve been retained to perform. My role isn’t to argue with someone who is opinionated. Frankly, his or anyone’s else’s opinions on inmate marriage or same sex marriage or even biracial same sex inmate marriage won’t and don’t have any impact my clients or me but, I decided to use this particular opinionated person’s comment as an opportunity to advise him of my belief that “love is love” because it is. 

Your frustrations can become your blessings if you look hard enough.

Monday morning, my niece and my beloved Maddy are headed to California for their big move. Cindy and I are heartbroken to see Maddy go. Our clients are too. This will be a very difficult transition for Cindy and I but, we will be in California again soon to see Maddy… 

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LeBlanc Unit To Dallas County To Hobby Unit & More Adventures With The Texas Twins…

Over a month ago, my client had called regarding a denial on her I60 because she was listed as Common Law Married on TDCJ records. The problem with this particular denial on the I60 was that the Warden was unaware that the new policy and updated Administrative Directive Pertaining To Inmate Marriage allows even a CLM status inmate the right to a legal wedding ceremony. The hitch? Only the same person that they are listed as being Common Law Married to in inmate records QUALIFY to legally marry in a Texas Prison.  The name of the parties MUST MATCH the name listed as CLM in inmate records. Tricky right? It’s confusing too. However, understanding the actual reason for the Denial on an I60 is key to either correcting the issue OR overcoming it. 

The inmate CANNOT marry someone else while listed as CLM to someone else. It’s a mess but so many people have filed this CLM affidavit it would literally make your head swim. All of them thought “they were just signing a piece of paper.” 

“A CLM to someone else situation” requires far more undoing. A corrective Affidavit is where you will start the unraveling process with inmate records. I can’t begin to tell you how many times a crying and hysterical client has called me about a denial for marriage based entirely on a CLM status filed by the inmate to “someone else” years ago. It’s actually a regular occurrence. Daily, Weekly, Monthly. 

However, if an inmate is “claiming they don’t recall filing this document” they are lying. They also filed this document in order to obtain contact visits with “the other woman.” 

For those assuming this issue only happens with female clients, it doesn’t. In fact, two years ago, my Crain Unit client called me days before an Approved ceremony to tell me “the Warden changed the approved date and denied the wedding ceremony. I’ve already paid for travel and everything.” I asked “why?” As usual. The shocking answer was a jolt since we had already gone through the I60 process for 7 weeks and had a date at the Unit to marry. My client further explained this weird turn of events to me by saying ” apparently my fiancée had listed herself as CLM to another inmate prior to her own incarceration.” WOW. This hasn’t happened before but my client was older and didn’t “want any trouble. I just want to get married.” The solution? Due to my client living in North Carolina and his fiancée being paroled within a few months, I met them at the Walls Unit and married them in Huntsville. Problem solved. 

This particular I60 denial at LeBlanc “because the couple were already listed as CLM” was “completely new to me.” I had yet to encounter such a denial with similar circumstances for any other client “because the couple were already listed as CLM and therefore considered married to each other.” The problem of my client and her fiancé BEING NOT LEGALLY MARRIED was obviously frustrating to my client who had called me while on location with my other clients at Main Event. I went outside to take her call and assure her that I would do everything within my power to get her married. 

My first “job duty” would be to further research the Administrative Directive Pertaining To Inmate Marriage AGAIN since I had not noticed anything regarding being listed as CLM to each other being a reason to deny the I60 Request For Inmate Marriage at a TDCJ Facility. 

Knowing the procedures and policies within TDCJ is a very important asset for me especially when overcoming an obstacle such as a denial to the I60 based on the sole reason that “TDCJ inmate records already listed the couple as common law married.” 

As shocking as this may sound, my first encounter with this “already CLM status and therefore not authorized to marry” TDCJ issue impeding the approval on an I60 would actually occur again at Gib Lewis Unit less than a month later. True story. What the? 

A CLM status within TDCJ is not a legally recognized marriage by the state of Texas. I also contacted Access To Courts after a lengthy conversation with the Chaplain at LeBlanc explaining this unique situation. The Chaplain was argumentative. I don’t argue. I don’t have time to argue.

Thankfully, the previous I60 Denial “based on an existing CLM status” was changed by the Warden to an Approval status and the wedding date was scheduled within a week.

I don’t give up easily as all my clients know and Larissa was thrilled to meet Cindy and I at LeBlanc on wedding day. 

When your job during the week is to officiate inmate weddings at Prisons, “your job” requires knowledge and conflict resolution as well. Education is paramount in the Prison wedding planning process. 

Occasionally, one of my clients will call me so upset that I’m forced to calm them down before fully comprehending the situation. 

Now and then, I’ve also talked a few clients out of marrying based on their feelings of being “pressured into marrying an inmate.” I listen far more than anyone realizes. 

Listening also is the real “key” to none of my Prison clients divorcing to date. I know many of you “have heard” all inmate weddings end in divorce. They don’t. I prefer to talk someone out of marrying an inmate than to have them go through with a wedding and subsequent divorce “down the road.” 

Planning a Prison wedding is a very lengthy process. You are going to be jumping through hoops and relying heavily on me to make it happen. This isn’t something anyone goes into with their eyes wide shut. This is something only someone determined to marry would even consider doing I can assure you. 

My clients call me often about unexpected issues they face in their marriage after marrying QUITE frequently. Remember, I’m everyone’s mother. 

This week my Bridgeport Unit bride told me she was considering a divorce. Alarmed, I asked “why?” Apparently, the inmate hadn’t made parole. Also, the inmate wasn’t valuing the sacrifices his new bride was making in order to accommodate his needs. My clients do time too. The time they do is “ON the outside by pulling their wagon alone.”

After advising my Bridgeport client about how to address and explain her feelings to the inmate “who had assumed that her working two jobs in order to put money on his books and pay for expensive phone calls or even drive several hours and rent a hotel to visit” was exasperating, lonely and expensive, I told her to point out these sacrifices made solely for his benefit. Communication is key to conflict resolution. 

My clients always call me when there’s a problem and even when there isn’t just to catch up. My clients are my friends. 

What many people don’t know is that my allegiance is to my client at all times. My relationship and friendship is with my clients. It’s a confusing discussion to others who assume the inmate is my client. They aren’t. The person in the free world is. 

I’m asked questions frequently about my job. What you are hiring when you hire me is a “go to gal.” Whether the clerk is giving your client a hard time or the Unit is denying your I60 or even if the inmate is listed as CLM to someone other than you or even you in this particular clients situation, listed as CLM to you, you need someone educated about TDCJ policy and procedure. You need someone reliable you can count on to address your concerns and “that someone” is me. 

Many wonder why and even how “I know so much about the process?” The answer is that I’ve spent years learning, comprehending and understanding the policy and procedure process within any state I conduct and officiate inmate weddings. 

Arriving at LeBlanc Unit, I parked beside Larissa and her aunt. I love it when my clients bring friends and family to join them in their photo shoot after the ceremony. 

Guests aren’t allowed at most Unit Weddings in Texas with Sanders Estes being the exception. I know many other states allow guests but, we always follow procedure and policy. The Warden has the final say on guests and unless the Warden allows guests, they cannot attend your ceremony. Media is a special exception to the guest rule. Media must be authorized to enter the Unit and follow protocol. 

While waiting in the lobby on Larissas soon to be husband to be escorted into the visitation area, Larissa and I attempted to dry off as a downpour hit just as we were entering the Unit. Luckily, I had packed two multi color umbrellas “just in case.”The bride and groom had incorporated the Vows of Ruth into their ceremony and I loved their creative input. 

Incorporating elements into your ceremony keeps it fresh and unique. The couple were thrilled to finally make it to wedding day after the hurdles of getting approved. I was (as usual) thrilled for them. Wedding Day regardless of where it takes place is a Life Event. 

Larissa had contacted me about the Beaumont Botanic Gardens near the unit and asked if we could do her bridal photos there. I loved the idea and Cindy captured some really great shots with Larissa and her aunt. 

If you’ve seen an amazing location for your bridal or groom photos, just let me know. Cindy and I will follow you there after the wedding. We love new places and backdrops.I’ve added several veils to our rolling inventory to keep photo shoots fun and loved the photo Cindy took of Larissa in my latest addition to our inventory. Cindy’s fascinators are always a hit with clients. We had a great day in Beaumont with two great ladies before hitting the road back to Fort Worth.

Yesterday, I took a call from my Ellis Unit bride, Naquitia about needing photos for her twin daughter’s fourth birthday. Of course we were all in. Cindy and I headed over to meet Naquitia and the twins before driving to Deep Ellum for the photo shoot. I can’t wait to finally marry Naquitia at Ellis and for all my Ellis Unit clients waiting on dates, my Holliday Unit bride, Leantrinette found a great photo location in Huntsville that you are going to love. Check it out on my FB Page, Prison Weddings With Wendy Wortham.

Oddly enough, I had an early morning phone call from my Gib Lewis Unit client crying because her I60 was denied. The situation was remarkably similar to Larissa at LeBlanc Unit. EXPERIENCE MATTERS. I solved “the I60 Denial” and remarkably “similar issue” at Gib Lewis Unit and will be marrying my clients August 14, 2019. My job isn’t to simply show up and conduct a ceremony. My job is to solve problems, address concerns, alleviate confusion and walk clients through the very difficult and time consuming task of marrying an inmate. 

Sunday evening, my team is meeting Leantrinette, my TDCJ Holliday Unit client in Dallas for a surprise birthday party for her mom. Cindy and I will be handling party planning and photography for Leantrinette and her family. 

I’m at Hobby Unit tomorrow with my beautiful brides and really looking forward to meeting everyone. It’s another busy weekend rolling up on us and we hope all of our clients and families are staying cool in this Texas heat.

A few of you have contacted me about being out of town because Cindy and I travel so much to other states. Have no fear dear friends as Wendy and Cindy regularly fly back and forth out of DFW or Meacham Field and can easily be back in Fort Worth within 48 hours. It’s not uncommon for me to travel to Oklahoma or Arkansas and even Louisiana or California within the same week. Cindy and I are seasoned destination event specialists who can be in one state one day and yet another state within 24 hours.  

The Texas Twins Travel and from California to Texas or Texas to California, its all in a days work so no worries. We are here when you need us… 

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Twelve Hours On The Road And The Expenses Of Being A Prison Wedding Officiant. Risk, Reward & Reality…

When people come to me seeking an Officiant many of them say the same thing. What is it? “I just need someone to walk in and officiate my wedding.” The problem? Your prison wedding location is 5 hours or 6 or more from my location ONE WAY. “Just walk in?” You are “simplifying the process of getting there” far too much my friend. 

Travel is expensive. When you drive as much as I do, it doesn’t take your accountant to point out the facts. Driving 2k-3k miles a WEEK is a hefty investment of my time to walk into a prison and officiate your wedding ceremony. Leading up to wedding day, I’ve talked to you numerous times. I’ve answered your emails. I’ve addressed your concerns and I’ve committed myself to simplifying a very confusing process. I’ve overcome any and all issues to assist you in getting your marriage license by sending you to another county clerk or refiling an I60 that had previously been denied. Education and experience are key elements to a Prison wedding Officiant. If you don’t know what you are doing, this isn’t the business for you. 

You aren’t “just hiring someone to officiate your wedding.” You are hiring someone to plan it and someone to drive hours to get to it too. 

You aren’t just hiring an Officiant. You are hiring a driver. A planner. You are hiring someone who will take your calls for weeks or months. Someone knowledgeable about the rules pertaining to inmate marriage is DIFFICULT to find but you found me. I didn’t advertise because I didn’t need to either. My reputation is built on my dedication to making your Prison wedding as close to perfect as it can be.,

“My MORALS, are LIKE a GOOD set of TIRES, everything I HAVE is RIDING on THEM, and you can TRUST me to perform the task I’ve been retained to perform.” 

My brother in law, Steve is a truck driver. For fifty plus years now he’s been paid to drive someone else’s truck. He’s paid by the hour to roll across highways nationwide while dealing with muscle aches from doing so. Steve doesn’t pay for gas, repairs or insurance. He’s paid to drive. A traveling prison Officiant is also paid to drive. In fact, I drive up to 3k miles a week. 

What you REALLY need is to know is that whoever you hire to officiate your inmate wedding will show up. That your officiant will be on time, realiable and have adequate transportation. That your officiant will take your emails and phone calls while answering and addressing your questions and concerns. That your officiant will walk you through an often confusing process. That if you encounter a denial to your inmate marriage that your officiant can educate you as to how to have the inmate refile the I60 or correct the issues of the denial. The last part of your Prison wedding process is knowing that your officiant will show up on time and ready to go to work. 

My role is far more than just showing up to officiate your wedding. I’ve spent weeks and months talking to you, calling the Unit and guiding you through the process before gassing up my vehicle and risking another broken windshield. The cost? $350 plus for the windshield alone. Tires? Michelin Defenders at $995 a set. Mounted and balanced? $1127. Synthetic oil changes? $69 plus $19.99 for the filter. Gasoline? $35-40 a tank. I don’t “cheap out” when it comes to “getting there.”

Hours on the road? Both ways? Easily a minimum of 5-12 hours A DAY. Miles on my vehicle? Tens of thousands. When I worked as a brand marketing consultant, I was paid forty nine cents a mile. See where I’m going with this? 

By the way, I’m on my third SUV in two and a half years for those wondering just how much time I spend driving. In fact, in 25k more miles to Texas Prisons, I’m getting another SUV. I don’t keep SUVs beyond 100k miles to ensure I don’t have mechanical issues or problems. It isn’t inexpensive and much less easy to be me. I read each and every Administrative Directive update specifically to read educated to protocol within ANY state I conduct inmate marriages within. For those who assume my role is easy or fluid, a wake up call is in order here. My role is by far more involved than anyone realizes. 

For anyone thinking “I can do that” you will need the education to overcome unexpected issues during the prison wedding planning process. You need to know the rules and policies. You need to have the clients. You need to have income set aside for unexpected expenses and you need to be able to support yourself getting into this business. It looks easy to others because they have no real idea what my role entails. 

I’m sought after for solid reasons and I earned my reputation. This isn’t a job for the meek, the halfhearted or folks who plan to get rich quick at a single income families expense. 

Being a Prison wedding Officiant is a job for someone dedicated, financially sound and honorable. This is a job for someone who has the answers to questions. This is a job for someone willing to take calls and address concerns at any hour of the day. This job takes planning. Preparation. Patience. Your are the clients best friend. Their advisor. Their go to. Their strongest advocate. You are bold, brave, resilient, educated and responsible OR you won’t last long in this industry. These are facts that anyone following me and assuming that Cindy and I run from one fun filled day into the next need to understand and more importantly comprehend. I know policy and procedure within any state I officiate prison weddings. I have to in order to overcome a hurdle a wrench in the prison wedding process solely in order to overcome such issues. My clients encounter hurdles on a regular basis. From chaining out to catching a charge to being listed as CLM to the law library refusing to notarize an Absentee Affidavit to the county clerk refusing to issue a marriage license to the Warden denying to request to marry, I’ve seen it all and I’ve solved it all. I know how. This isn’t a “flying by the seat of your pants” endeavor. This job isn’t for anyone planning to “wing it.” Your clients count on you to know the answers and address their concerns. You need to be well versed on marriage laws as well as policy and procedure. You need to take calls from clients devastated about a denial and find solutions. You are in it for the long haul. A Prison wedding can take weeks, months and in my Torres Clients case even a year to plan and execute. Patience and perseverance are only a part of what I do and whom I do it for. Dedication is a requirement. 

Are you willing to put your clients needs above your own? Are you righteous? In the heart of a Public Servant there must a regard for others whom you serve as being more important than yourself (cf. Phil. 2:3 ff.). God requires that leaders whom He appoints to govern a country, His ordained Institution of the State (cf. Rom. 13:1) be a blessing to the people it serves — benefactors to the world in which they live. Ecclesiastes 8:9 specifically speaks to the selflessness a leader must possess in his job: A man has exercised authority over another to his own hurt. This is a powerful way of putting it: a leader is to be so selfless that it hurts him or her. 

Being a Prison wedding planner and Officiant REQUIRES putting your own needs last. Your other clients and even your own family can take a back seat when a crying phone call comes in that requires your immediate attention. I’ve answered crying phone calls from clients at all hours of the day or night. My clients know they can count on me to solve problems. My clients call me first because they realize they can trust me and that I will drop everything to find the answers they need. 

Let’s take my Ellis Unit client, Amanda. The Unit wouldn’t notarize an Absentee Affidavit. The Absentee Affidavit is a requirement to purchase a marriage license in Texas. An Unsworn Declaration will not and cannot be accepted in place of the Absentee Affidavit. 

TDCJ Administrative Directive
IV….

Notary Public Services
Documents: Under both federal law (28 U.S.C. § 1746) and state law (Texas Civil Practice and Remedies Code § 132.001), offenders incarcerated in Texas may use an unsworn declaration under penalty of perjury in place of a written declaration, verification, certification, oath, or affidavit sworn before a notary public. 

A. Documents for which notarization is requested by an attorney, documents specifically exempted from the laws on unsworn declarations, and documents destined for another state or country requiring notary public service shall continue to require notary public service.

B. Scheduling: Offenders may request notary public service by submitting an I-60 to the unit ATC supervisor. Offenders requesting notary public service shall explain why an unsworn declaration will not be legally sufficient. Requests shall be acted upon, either denied or provided, within 72 hours of the receipt of the request.

In order to obtain the notary seal on an Absentee Affidavit, the inmate must provide reasons why an Unsworn Declaration is insufficient. If you cannot buy a marriage license, you aren’t going to be getting married. After overcoming the Units refusal to notarize the Absentee Affidavit, Amanda encountered not one but two county clerks unwilling to issue her marriage license. I instructed her to go to Walker County where she was finally issued a marriage license. A Prison wedding planner and Officiant needs to know what to do and how to do it. 

See where I’m going with this? Many of the “I can do what she does” folks have no real idea of what I can do. What I’m aware of or the length of time spent reviewing and understanding policy and procedure. 

What you are paying for is hiring someone reliable who you know will be there. Someone who hands over the responsibility of walking their dog to their husband or having their husband eat dinner alone while I’m on the road. 

My home life and my other clients booking traditional events on the weekend are all part of my life. In any given month, I’m literally juggling 10-15 prison Units and clients. Each and every client is important. I treat all of them with the attention they deserve. I never decline calls. If I’m on duty, Cindy answers texts, emails and phone calls for me. 

 “CHARACTER can be DESCRIBED in THREE words, ATTITUDE, HONESTY and ACTIONS” God bless us all.

Cindy Daniel

What you are also paying for is someone who doesn’t drive ten to twelve hours across Texas alone. My twin sister, Cindy accompanies me and has her household run by others while she’s away with me. My husband isn’t comfortable having his wife driving across Texas alone for 8-15 hours in a day. 

My sister is not only my copilot and navigator as she is also my secretary on the road. “We’ve got Goree Unit asking about the law library filing the I60.” My response? “Call her and I will walk her through checking the status with inmate records.” A text comes in. Cindy reads it “Buster Cole needs to reschedule because the Unit is requiring a letter from her P.O. And she can’t get it before the wedding.” My answer? “Call Buster Cole so I can reschedule.” After rescheduling, I call the client to tell her exactly what I need her letter to say on the rescheduled day of her Unit Wedding. My Gib Lewis client calls and I answer on Bluetooth. “We have been denied.” I must find out why in order to better understand what needs to be done. I ask questions. An I60 is a very specific document. It doesn’t simply read Approved or Denied. I call Gib Lewis while driving then call the client then call the Courts in Huntsville. Twenty four hours later, the I60 is Approved and I schedule the wedding. 

Anyone riding in my SUV would be surprised at the number of times my cell rings or a text comes in. It’s shocking. From family to clients to Units to venues to inquiries, my phone literally never stops ringing. A joyous call from my Michael Unit client to schedule her Vow Renewal? You bet. I’m the first person any client calls when the inmate makes parole. Why? Because I have a strong bond with my clients and also because they want a real wedding and want me to officiate. They want their friends and family. They want to wear a wedding dress that doesn’t cover their shoulders. They want more than two peck kisses and hugs at their ceremony. They want it all and for previous clients who married at a Unit, they get it all. These Vow Renewals ARE and ALWAYS WILL BE a true celebration to the testament of love enduring all things while overcoming all things. 

The amount of time I spend driving to a Unit is surprising since my clients and I only have 25 minutes “inside” for the ceremony. Getting approved and getting there are only part of my day with a client. 

Upon leaving the Unit, Cindy and I find great areas for bridal or groom photos and unload my loaded SUV full of bouquets, bouteniers, tiaras, furs and more. We love our photo shoots with clients and our clients love them even more. I’m always asked “why do you provide free photos and why did you go to the expense to create an inventory for your clients to use at photo shoots?” The answer is that Unit photos are disappointing to my clients. They are also $3 each. I buy 3 Unit photos on wedding day and give them to my clients. 

Having anyone be “thrilled” with their Unit photos on wedding day has never occurred yet. A few of my clients have even cried about the often disappointing quality of wedding day photos at Prisons. 

To overcome the problem, I decided to do my own photo shoots for clients and gift them bridal or groom photos as a courtesy. Cindy is often the photographer while I grab a new bouquet or change my clients tiara or go find a fur stole I think would coordinate with the bouquet. We work as a team on location. 

My husband likes to have me home regardless of what hour it might be. I never rent a hotel in Texas although I always do in our other states. Why? To keep my TDCJ Clients costs lower that’s why. Outside of Texas clients incur lodging expenses. 

My brother in law drives 8-10 hours a day. It’s not uncommon for me to drive 8-12 hours a day. Steve is regulated on driving hours. If he goes over his hours, his company pays for a hotel as well as an hourly rate for Steve to sit and wait to drive again. 

What you are paying for is dependability. You might have hired me AFTER hiring someone else that let you down on all counts but… you chose to take that risk. You gambled on someone else giving you the same quality of care that I do. You also lost your money by placing that bet to the “other Officiant.” Get it back. Demand a refund. THEN CONTACT ME. 

For over two years now, brides and grooms planning a prison wedding have come to me AFTER INITIALLY hiring the “WRONG OFFICIANT” in Texas. This “other officiant” who didn’t bother show up also took your money. 

The “other officiant” you have already paid who should have been doing all of the above I’ve described is also guilty of theft of services. These “other Officiants” ALSO owe you a refund. Get it and THEN call me. 

By the time a few of you have come to me, you have almost always “lost money to that other officiant.” Get your money back. I cannot stress this enough. Verify your Officiants credentials and track history while you are at it too. Educate yourselves. Quality, Consistency, Reliability and Loyalty are what make Texas Twins Events, The Pawning Planners, Texas Twins Treasures and TDCJ Officiant DIFFERENT. WE KEEP OUR PROMISES! 

“Don’t EXPECT a BLUE chip EXPERIENCE, from a BOTTOM of the BARREL business. RELIABILITY, ACCOUNTABILITY and EXPERIENCE matter.” 

When you hire myself OR my staff, you can rest assured that unlike these “other Officiants,” you will never have to worry about us returning your phone calls, addressing your concerns or much less and Heaven Forbid– showing up on wedding day. You can count on us which is far more than I can say for these “other Officiants.” 

Cindy and I are stopped all the time by others reading banners on our SUVs for Texas Twins Events and TDCJ Officiant. When we tell these folks that we perform prison weddings, they are at first shocked then intrigued then interested in how we can teach them to do what we do. True story. 

Cindy and I have been interviewed by production companies, radio stations and news media about how we made this work and how we got into this business. We give people the weddings we didn’t have. The flowers, the photos, the attention to details. 

One interviewer actually asked me “can you elaborate and tell others how they can get into this business?” My answer? “No. Why would I create competition that doesn’t exist?” I meant it. 

While others including a few of my own family members laughed years ago about “my plan to create affordable options for event services,” Cindy and I didn’t. 

Perseverance pays off. Merging Texas Twins Events and Texas Twins Treasures to create a barter option? More laughs but, the people NO ONE ELSE wanted to help came to us. 

From rich to poor, we literally covered every base. From LBGT clients to others wanting to marry an inmate, we have never limited creative requests. Quite the contrary. Instead, we’ve rebranded and expanded to address any and all creative requests. We’ve also earned a stellar reputation in an industry of no show Officiants AND Planners who take no pride in their OWN performance. 

Today’s blog will outline why making the mistake of hiring someone else isn’t my luggage and it isn’t my trip. Quality and reliability aren’t inexpensive. You get what you pay for. If you’ve paid the wrong person, get your money back and then contact me or my staff. I cannot stress this point enough. 

The expenses of being a traveling prison officiant are expensive. The vehicle, the repairs, the maintenance, the hours on the road and the role of an inmate Officiant are many. You have questions I have answers. Experience matters. Experience isn’t inexpensive either. 

Reliability and consistency aren’t inexpensive and I can no longer take on everyone else’s previous client at a discount because they hired the wrong person to begin with making your burden and subsequent mistake my expense. 

Before you hire someone to take on the role of your prison wedding Officiant, understand that this is a serious job that requires a hefty investment of my time, product knowledge of marriage laws as well as policy and procedure at Units within each state I officiate as well as my vehicle and my pocketbook. I prepare for these trips by ensuring I have no mechanical issues that would impede my ability to be there on time and ready to work. 

Leaving home in the dark and arriving home in the dark are very long days. Unexpected broken windshields are an expense to anyone driving across back roads to Prisons. Tires, gasoline, and even the possibility of an accident and more are part of the expenses of being a prison Officiant. 

When a traditional client books me to officiate their wedding within the DFW area, I ask “is there a rehearsal?” Why? Because there is an additional fee for a rehearsal. Do you know why? Because I’m driving to the same location twice. A rehearsal is a separate ceremony. 

There’s a reason that I also ask “what is the location?” Because there is an additional fee for travel. Time spent driving is time that could be spent doing something else like spending time with my family. 

My time is valuable. My time on your wedding day is spent making your Dream Event a reality. 

The fee for a JP to officiate your ceremony in Texas is $100. The Judge isn’t leaving his job to travel to you. Instead, you travel to them. 

These days everyone wants or thinks they can be a prison Officiant. The MANY WHO THINK MY ROLE IS SIMPLY TO SHOW UP are mistaken about my job being easy. It isn’t. It’s complicated. It’s knowing where to send you to get that marriage license. It’s knowing marriage law. It’s understanding the Administrative Directive to find solutions to YOUR PROBLEMS. It’s answering crying and hysterical phone calls 24/7 from someone who encountered a problem either with a CLM Status or a Denial on an I60 Request For Inmate Marriage. 

There are many “who think they can do this job” but there is only one of me. While I have others on my staff who are authorized to officiate your prison wedding in many states, it is I who have the answers to unexpected problems. When someone on my Team encounters something unexpected, they call me. I know what to do. I didn’t “suddenly wake up educated to finding solutions” either. I educated myself spending hours pouring over policy and procedures in numerous states as well as Texas. I’ve spent hours and hours and hours reading and retaining knowledge to overcome the unexpected. Corrective Affidavits? Yes. A Warden unaware that a CLM couple are entitled to a legal wedding? Hang on while I fix this and contact the Courts to call the Unit. Visitation revoked, let me tell you how to file an Appeal. Yes, I know what to do. 

These “other Officiants” BELIEVE THEIR ONLY RESPONSIBILITY AND REQUIREMENTS are to show up on wedding day. These “other Officiants” are often guilty of failing to even do that! I’ve had a FEW FOLKS contact me after making the mistake of hiring someone else. If you want someone to get the job done, you hire me or my staff FIRST. We don’t have mistakes or excuses. We know what to do and how to do it. We exceed client expectations and give you a beautiful day with beautiful photos as a courtesy. 

WE DO YOUR EVENT DIFFERENTLY BECAUSE WE CARE WHEN THESE “OTHER OFFICIANTS” DON’T. 

I can’t tell you how many clients have told me “I want to do what you do.” But, these folks have no real idea of what’s involved or the expenses of what I do and more importantly who I do it for. They don’t realize that knowing what to do or how to do it are based on education and experience. They fail to realize that it takes money to make money. Operating a business or even several is a hefty expense. I do not and will not advertise. Why? Because this expense would result in raising my fees and I don’t market new clients. My role is to focus on existing clients first. In fact, I limit new bookings specifically to keep from spreading myself too thin for existing clients. 

It’s impossible to work another job and officiate inmate weddings. Why? Because you must be available that’s why. You must have reliable transportation and you must have knowledge of the Administrative Directive when problems arise. It’s also your job to be the fixer. It’s your job to overcome a snarky county clerk refusing to issue a license to your client. It’s your job to hold someone’s hand unfamiliar it’s the process and the timeline involved. It’s your job to mail that license, maintain your vehicle, juggle your home life and family and make it all work. 

It’s your job to exceed expectations and earn a stellar reputation in an industry that these days has everyone jumping on the bandwagon to become a prison Officiant with little or no clue as to what is actually involved. Unlike these others, I’m well versed. I’m educated. Knowledgeable. Reliable. Consistent. 

I don’t find my clients. They find me. Many find me AFTER they’ve hired and paid someone else. I can no longer make exceptions and or discount YOUR fee because YOU hired the wrong person to officiate your prison wedding. 

My soft heart has cost me money again and again. How so? Because I’ve made exceptions based on your story. I will no longer “make exceptions” because you’ve hired the wrong officiant. You chose to make an expensive mistake. Experience is a great teacher. You’ve learned but your mistake cannot and will not be my burden. 

Frankly, it’s unfair to my other clients as well as myself and staff to do so as well as a financial burden to me because you’ve trusted someone else who let you down. GET YOUR MONEY BACK FROM THE “OTHER OFFICIANTS!”

Get your money back but don’t expect me or my staff to make special exceptions because you’ve trusted the wrong person. We operate a business. This business has Expenses. This business also has a web designer, accountant and other factors as well as time, insurance, vehicle repairs, gasoline, tires and windshields or EVEN the possibility of having an accident while driving to your prison wedding. 

Today’s blog is an update to changes for people coming to me who paid someone else then expected me to discount my fee because they had done so. 

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County Clerks, Ellis Unit, & Ferguson Unit My Role Requires Determination, Dedication & Hours Of Driving…

For months now, getting Amanda a date to marry at Ellis has been a hurdle. Many of my clients encounter clerks who are opinionated and far less than helpful when they realize my client is marrying an inmate. 

One clerk in Eastland actually had the audacity to ask Amanda “why would you want to marry an inmate?” A clerk in Abilene told Amanda that “marrying an inmate was illegal.” This couldn’t be further from the truth. However, I don’t have time to educate clerks and my clients don’t have patience either. If you work at a clerks office and have an attitude, find a new job. 

These people are supposed to understand their job but don’t. If your job is to issue marriage licenses, you are being paid to do so. There’s a reason I send my clients away from county clerks who are obviously untrained and the reason continues to be upsetting for clients. The reason is that being challenged by a clerk who doesn’t know the law or has an attitude when trying to buy a marriage license is the last thing anyone needs. 

Opinions of clerks issuing licenses to the public should be censured and yet they aren’t. The tragedy of both arrogance and ignorance in county clerks offices continues. No one buying a marriage license should be forced to endure “the opinions of a clerk.” Your role is to serve the public.

Clerks aren’t the only people impeding the prison wedding planning process. Last month, Chaplain Jasper informed Amanda fiancé of a date to marry at Ellis Unit. The problem was the Chaplain didn’t bother to notify me or check my schedule. I was already scheduled at a confirmed date at Coffield and Michael Units on the date given to the inmate. 

Obviously I cannot be in two places two hours from each other at the same time. I juggle new inquiries and bookings with existing clients on a daily basis. 

If I’ve bumped your request for an Officiant  to the following month when you were trying to book with me, it was entirely due to my schedule for existing clients. I do not and will not book more than 15 new clients in Texas per month. Why? Because rotating clients awaiting dates take first priority. 

This new trend of Chaplains “notifying the inmate” rather than my client or myself requires me to call the Unit to reschedule when I’m already booked at another Unit on the date in question which I did but this situation would become a fiasco entirely due to the Chaplain. It would also require me to put on my Boss Boots to get Amanda married. Buckle up for yet another bumpy ride and why hiring an Officiant involves far more than the Officiant “bothering to show up” ya all. 

On June 18, 2019 at 9:07AM after calling Chaplain Jasper to explain that I couldn’t be in Tennessee Colony and Huntsville AT THE SAME TIME ON THE SAME DAY and requested that the Chaplain move my Ellis clients to the afternoon which would have given me time to move from Tennessee Colony to Huntsville within about two hours of moving from Coffield to Michael Unit to Ellis. 

Tennessee Colony is two hours from Ellis Unit. The Chaplain told that “an afternoon scheduling won’t work and you will need to move the date.” Ugh. I verbally changed the date to July 9th at 1PM on the phone with Chaplain Jasper and subsequently (as requested by him) also sent an email confirming July 9, 2019 at 1PM. It’s not unusual for me to confirm a date by email to a Unit. In fact, I prefer to do so. 

For those of you unaware of this, I log all phone calls, text messages and emails. I’m OCD. I don’t forget anybody and certainly don’t make mistakes regarding wedding day. Weddings are Life Events. These emails would prove important. Stay tuned. 

On July 9th at 7:48AM, an email from Chaplain Jasper regarding Amanda’s wedding a few hours later came in. Alarmed, I called the Unit and couldn’t locate Chaplain Jasper. What the? On wedding day? 

I also called Amanda who had left home hours ago to drive to Ellis Unit. I THEN DECIDED to drive to Ellis anyway. Why? Why not? This wedding was a confirmed date. Amanda had been planning this day for nearly a month. 

Amanda had also tried to buy her marriage license to but encountered dipshit clerks who didn’t know how to perform their jobs. Amanda had been through the ringer and I wasn’t about to let an email cancelling a confirmed date at Ellis ON WEDDING DAY have me throwing in the towel with my client on the road. In fact, to overcome the marriage license issue, Amanda was going to Huntsville to buy her license an hour prior to meeting me at Ellis. I had sent her the online link to Twogether In Texas. Luckily, Amanda had taken the course. 

For clients and readers unaware of the many “providers” of this course and how they aren’t correctly performing their role, I’m going to jump right in and elaborate as to why I lobbied the online option. First off, as a provider you are supposed to be teaching the 8 hour course not mailing the materials. Secondly, many of these “providers” are failing to provide the certificate which is why consumers are paying you in the first place. As a provider or instructor, this system wasn’t put in place to pad your pockets. It was put in place for premarital education. Because of the misuse of this program, the online option has been available for two years because folks like me argued the fact that providers were not instructing the course and instead selling materials they were provided for free to others. Take the online course. Skip the third party who isn’t teaching the course. What a racket! My Hodge Unit bride paid yet another “other officiant” and never received her certificate. Just go online. I will send you the link myself.  

Throughout my three hour drive to Huntsville, I checked my email. Nothing from Chaplain Jasper. I also checked on Amanda who had bought her marriage license with no issues in Walker County. 

I arrived thirty minutes early to Ellis Unit and returned calls while waiting on Amanda. I had no idea if my barnstorming theory of dressing up and showing up on wedding day would work but I knew this… Amanda had taken a day off that she wouldn’t be able to do again for some time and we needed to do everything possible to attempt to get married on July 9th. You will never get a yes unless you ask for it and we were about to do just that. 

At 12:30PM, Amanda parked beside me. She was also nervous about whether or not we could go ahead with the wedding. We both walked to the guard up in the birdcage to announce our arrival for a wedding. 

The assistant Warden arrived to tell us “I spoke with Chaplain Jasper yesterday and he said that he didn’t have any weddings on the schedule and because he’s not here, I have no paperwork.” 

Calmly and I cannot stress this enough, I elaborated on those emails. I was asked to go get my phone and hand it over to review said emails. Since I had responded to the 7:48AM email, I was also asked “why did you drive out here anyway?” I answered “Amanda left Eastland early this morning and was already on the road and in my opinion, we had nothing to lose since this was a confirmed date.” He was kind enough to consider why we went ahead and drove on. He was also confused as to why the Chaplain had “forgotten” about our wedding and yet managed to email us that “the wedding would be cancelled and the inmate would be advised of a rescheduling.” 

Amanda and I asked if he could try to locate the I60. We were in fact, asking a favor and since the Chaplain hadn’t bothered to tell anyone other than me in that email about the confirmed date, we were blessed by encountering someone who cared about our journey. 

Thankfully, this Warden located the paperwork and the wedding went on. If I had simply taken Chaplain Jasper’s brush off email, Amanda would have taken the day off and driven five hours to Huntsville for the hell of it. 

By being determined and having proof that there was obviously a wedding scheduled, we were truly blessed to find someone who helped us. The fact that I had documentation of those emails literally saved the day. 

God Bless that Warden. Amanda’s Husband was going through emotions himself since he was told he wasn’t getting married. He also knew that the Warden and the guard who took photos were the reason that he was getting married. There are truly good folks working at Prisons. I’ve met them.I’m in and out of Prisons everyday. I also “hear horror stories” from clients but there are good people at Units. 

There are people who care and there are people who understand. That Warden and that guard were two of those people. Leaving Ellis, I followed Amanda to the clerks office. You know, the clerk who was so nice issuing that license hours earlier. Again, stay tuned. We arrived at the clerks office and Amanda handed her the marriage license she had issued earlier. The clerk suddenly got an attitude and said “you can’t get married today there’s a waiting period.” What the? Was this lady kidding? She had processed the paperwork herself. She had also put the waiver on the back of the license. 

I said “she has a Twogether In Texas certificate waiving the waiting period.” The clerk THEN said “that ONLY discounts the license.” I said “the certificate discounts the license AND waives the waiting period.” This clerk needed a new job. She also needed a new attitude. But, naughty or nice, she wasn’t going to intimidate me. 

I’ve been with Twogether in Texas since 2009 and if you are a county clerk attempting to tell people that a certificate specifically put in place to BOTH discount the license AND waive the waiting period is incorrect, I AM happy to educate you and, I will. It’s your job to understand this program. 

A clerks job is to issue marriage licenses so it would make sense to understand your role as a county official and your responsibility to understand the process. 

After I had challenged this clerk to pull the paperwork for the marriage license that she had filed hours earlier, she FINALLY recorded the license. This clerk had also overcharged for a certified copy but after all the things Amanda went through to get that license, I also paid the fee of $37 for a $27 certified copy. I had my reasons for whipping out that bank card though so read on. 

I had asked this clerk for a price sheet since I knew damn well the fee for a certified marriage license was intentionally being inflated. “We don’t have cost or price sheets.” I was told this because she knew darn well that providing me proof on the spot of the cost discrepancy wouldn’t be in her best interest. I played along. I wanted Amanda to get that certified copy. 

I’m in and out of clerks office everyday and can assure you that EVERY county clerk has a price list. It isn’t one price for so and so for George and yet another price for Bobby. County Clerk costs are the same to everyone. 

I know all too well from years ago when dealing with county clerks refusing to issue same sex marriage licenses that the attitudes of certain clerks have not changed in Texas. 

Someone should be secret shopping county clerks and I’m not kidding. 

Let’s review why Twogether In Texas exists… House Bill 2685 during the 2007 legislative session, increases the fee for a marriage license from $30 to $60.00. It also allows couples who complete an eight-hour premarital education course to waive paying the $60 of their marriage license fee, and they will not have to wait 72 hours to get married. Couples who complete a course will receive a certificate that is good for one year. The information can be found in the Texas Administrative Code 2.204 effective September 1. 2008. 

If you want more information from the TEXAS FAMILY CODE on marriage licenses you may access that web site and click on “The Marriage Relationship Chapter 2”. This may answer any questions in more detail about the requirements for the marriage license.

On Walker County’s OWN WEBSITE this information can be found and yet the clerk tried to tell Amanda “you can’t be married today as I just issued the license.” The same license WITH A WAIVER on the back of it. The same license that requires the Twogether certificate to obtain the discount and the waiver the clerk argued “hadn’t been filled out.” I could not believe that this clerk was pointing out something that she herself had failed to complete BUT she was. 

You know, the same license she had issued a few hours earlier. Come on County Clerks with attitude. Get off your high horse and off that personal phone call and start paying attention to your job and the general public. 

What if I HADN’T joined Amanda to file her marriage license at the clerks office? Thankfully, neither I or Amanda were going to be bullied by this clerk who FIRST refused to file the marriage license then also decided to upcharge the fee for a certified license copy to the price of an Informal Marriage just because she thought she could. 

When people tell me “I can do what you do. Can you teach me how?” They literally have no real idea what it actually takes to do my job and the majority of the time they wouldn’t put forth the effort either. I’m driven, determined, passionate and perseverant. I also encounter obstacles on a regular basis. From a CLM status to a lost I60 to an idiotic clerk to an unorganized Chaplain and more, prison weddings can be as chaotic as large traditional events and they are. 

Back to the Huntsville clerk- I went ahead and charged the transaction for a certified license with my Frost Bank card specifically to document the upcharged fee. You know the inflated cost of an Informal Marriage License versus the actual cost of a Certified Marriage License. 

NOW let’s review the posted fee for a certified copy. Don’t be shocked because I was WILLING to pay this upcharge put upon us SOLELY because I challenged this clerk regarding the waiting period waiver and validity of the Twogether in Texas certificate pertaining to Amanda’s license. 

Ten dollars might sound insignificant until you realize that Amanda and I were effectively challenged on getting that license filed AT ALL for twenty minutes. Paying an upcharge AFTER this confrontation was effectively the icing on the cake at that courthouse. 

When it comes to legal issues, especially pertaining to marriage law, I’m educated and well versed and I’m also not easily intimidated. I was well aware of the ACTUAL FEE for a certified marriage copy too. I bit my tongue though as not to upset Amanda. Frankly, it was already upsetting to have a clerk telling you she wouldn’t file and much record the license “due to the waiting period.” Nothing I do is easy. Sure, others think it looks easy. It isn’t. I’m not successful because I’m lucky. I’m successful because I’m perseverant, educated and determined. There’s a difference. I don’t have an easy button. I have a get it done button. 

An Informal Marriage License CANNOT have an Absent Party. An Informal Marriage License doesn’t look like a traditional marriage license either. These two documents are remarkably different. The circumstances and use for both documents are also different. The cost is different. They are two entirely different things but, this clerk decided to upcharge the fee for a certified copy of a marriage license to an Informal Marriage License because SHE THOUGHT Amanda wouldn’t notice and I wouldn’t either. 

The clerk and her coworker might’ve assumed that they were both “getting even” for being challenged about that waiting period waiver. Perhaps they even snickered regarding their private joke. I’ve spent years in clerks offices. I’ve met nice ones and I’ve also met naughty ones who are opinionated about same sex Marriage AND inmates marrying. 

My Texas Twins Events clients remember all too well Kat and Tiffany McKay the same sex couple who couldn’t get a marriage license from Parker County because the clerk “had religious reasons for not issuing one.” My Team and our friends in the LBGT community picketed the courthouse and I also married Kat and Tiffany who were the basis of a news story titled “the first same sex couple issued a marriage license in Parker County marry.” The story in the Parker County Democrat detailed how difficult it was to obtain that marriage license. The story touched upon “Wendy and her team helping them get married” in the same story. Kat and Tiffany contacted me after hearing about Lisa and Terry Williams wedding. They had no flowers, they had no photographers. They had no Officiant. My ENTIRE TEAM gifted them their wedding. I’m that Wendy. I’m that committed. My entire family made their Dream Event a reality. 

The Parker County Clerk had an attitude too but, I have thousands of friends in the LBGT community and I had also found the time to silently protest with sandwich boards the ability for a same sex couple to purchase a marriage license. 

Jeff Mosier had reported in the Dallas Morning News since I was openly LBGT friendly while other vendors were hiding their affiliation in the closet. The story about my site crashing on the day of the Supreme Court ruling was big news but what Jeff didn’t report was how difficult it actually was for my clients to purchase a marriage license. Many Texas clerks refused to issue marriage licenses.

It was so difficult for our clients to find a LBGT friendly clerk to buy a marriage license from that my entire family literally “split up to accompany couples intimidated about the simple process of purchasing a marriage license” to courthouses throughout Texas for not days but WEEKS. 

Seventy percent of my bookings on the day of the Supreme Court ruling a day of much celebration for same sex couples wishing to marry were effectively moved because my clients couldn’t find clerks to issue their marriage licenses. 

So, if you are wondering “why does Wendy Wortham KNOW so much about county clerks?” Here’s your answer- I’ve been in so many courthouses over the years holding my clients hands that it would make your head swim. I’ve met a mixed bag of nuts at clerks offices. I’ve encountered opinionated clerks, discriminatory clerks, mean clerks, nice clerks, arrogant clerks and clerks who don’t believe in same sex marriage OR inmate marriage either.  

You REALLY should have followed up on that story Jeff. The real story was that the hundreds of couples who had been forced to have unification ceremonies rather than marriages who finally thought the ability to marry would be cut and dry were instead impeded in the ability to legally marry due entirely to clerks refusing to issue them a marriage license. 

I’m not shy or a wallflower. But, my dedicated readers already know this. Kat and Tiffany had a legal right to marry. The clerk wanted to grandstand and set an example. During that window of the Supreme Court ruling, I had clients all over Texas requesting my team accompany them to buy their license due to the intimidation they faced. We split up and covered courthouses far and wide to get our clients the marriage licenses numerous Texas clerks refused to issue. True story. 

The Huntsville clerk had actually CHARGED AMANDA for a Declaration of an Informal Marriage RATHER than a Certified Marriage License. What is the difference you might ask? I’m happy to elaborate. 

An Informal Marriage is one where BOTH parties are present and it’s wholly, entirely and completely different from a certified copy of a marriage license too. Obviously, the groom or both parties WERE NOT PRESENT. 

Let’s review Informal Vs Formal Marriage- Section 2.401 of the Texas Family Code establishes the requirements for an informal marriage, without obtaining a marriage license or having a marriage ceremony. One of the ways an informal marriage is established is by registering a duly executed declaration and oath with the county of their residence. Both parties must be present. Rather than buying a traditional or formal license, the couple swear an oath and file an Informal Marriage License. 

Amanda and I left the clerks office and the two idiots working there who attempted to screw up wedding day for Amanda. They are out there. You might just encounter a few of these types of people yourself at the clerks office BUT KNOW THIS- I know marriage law. I am not intimidated and I don’t care how ugly a county clerk is willing to get. I saw plenty of ugliness during a time when same sex couples who wanted to marry couldn’t EVEN AFTER the Supreme Court gave them the right to do so. County clerks impeded the process. Clerks paid to issue marriage licenses who refused to do so. 

I’ve seen too much sadness because a county clerk thought they were God. If I have an attitude, rest assured that I know there are clerks with attitude. I’ve seen them AND I’ve met them. 

If the Huntsville clerk had refused to record the marriage license, I would’ve been on the phone so fast to complain about it you have no idea. She expected us to leave and she underestimated both Amanda and I because we were not leaving without getting what we came for and that was recording the license AND getting a certified copy to mail to inmate records at Ellis. 

That clerk was WAY out of line. I don’t care where you work or who you are, if you think you are God and can do whatever you want, you also leave a paper trail and if you don’t, I’m happy to create one for you just like I did by buying that certified copy in Huntsville. I reported that clerk. 

For every other person going to Walker County planning to marry an inmate, you’re welcome. Maybe this lady “doesn’t think inmates should marry” or that she simply enjoys upsetting folks on wedding day but either way, I can assure you she was surprised to get a phone call about her confusion regarding Twogether in Texas and the fee discrepancy between an Informal Marriage Declaration and a Certified Marriage License Copy. 

My Ferguson Unit bride, Savannah had sent me a text on July 4th. Her truck had been stolen and she needed a ride from Dallas to Ferguson. I picked her up at 9:45AM on July 10, 2019. Together, we drove to the Unit and enjoyed a day full of fun conversation. 

I had packed several veils, bouquets and tiaras as well as a kimono I had sent photos of to Savanah. She loved the kimono and I gifted it to her as a wedding gift. We stopped a few miles from Ferguson for photos. I wanted to incorporate one of my latest veils into her photos. The red shoes were perfect for my kimono. Finding areas near Units for photos occasionally has me in fairly remote areas.While applying some hand location just outside the Unit, Savannah spilled a bit on her blouse but I’m a mom and I have EVERYTHING in my SUV including wet wipes. We cleaned up and adjusted makeup for a few more photos before drivin into the parking lot. I think of everything so you don’t have to. We were a few minutes early and walking up to the birds nest saw a beautiful bride waiting on her Officiant. 

I’m going to go over this again because this “particular Officiant is ALWAYS LATE!” Lacy from Wife and Inmate Connection and I have met up at Allred, Coffield and now Ferguson. My clients and I waited over thirty minutes at Allred because as usual Lacey was late AGAIN. The guards were less than friendly to Lacey’s client based on her tardiness as well. Sadly, the client who showed up on time and was forced to wait outside was being punished for her Officiants unprofessionalism. Left alone in the sun worried her Officiant wouldn’t show up after everything she had gone through to finally get to her wedding day only to be forced to wait alone infuriated me and my client, Savannah. We were angry for that other bride and the position Lacey had left her in. 

At Ferguson Unit, the guard first addressed the hemline of Lacey’s clients dress BEFORE telling her that her wedding would be cancelled if Lacey didn’t show up. How would you feel if you were that lady? You paid someone for a service. You trusted them. On wedding day you didn’t know if they would show up or not and the guard is singling you out because you are alone. Think about it. 

Being late with a bride waiting in the sun and wondering if you are going to bother to show up is the most unprofessional shit that I’ve ever heard of. The bride was advised by the guard “we have a 30 minute policy. If she doesn’t show up your wedding will be cancelled.” The poor bride nearly started crying AFTER being forced to pull down her hemline or change clothes from the guard. 

What kind of stupid idiot Officiant and I use THAT TERM LOOSELY puts a client who has entrusted her through this kind of concern ON THEIR WEDDING DAY?! 

I CANNOT stress this enough… HIRE someone you can trust. Weddings ARE LIFE EVENTS regardless of where they take place.

Since it was 1PM and the bride was scheduled at 1PM with NO Officiant on site, Savannah and I were escorted in ahead while that poor lady ran to her car to call Lacy. 

Ferguson will not allow you to wait inside. You must enter WITH YOUR OFFICIANT. Sadly, that poor bride was forced to wait on the hot pavement as Savannah and I were escorted into the Unit. 

Savannah and I worried that poor lady who had driven hours and probably spent weeks finding the perfect dress was left standing outside wondering if Lacy would bother to show up? In fact, I told the guard “if her Officiant DOESN’T show up, I will marry her myself.” I meant it. We were scheduled at 1:30PM the other bride was scheduled at 1PM. 

The other brides fiancée watched my marry my clients while his bride waited in the blazing Texas sun on Lacey. 

The guard also used a flash that I wished she hadn’t causing red eyes on all of the photos. The guard also checked her watch mid ceremony. I have 20 minutes for my Ceremonies and don’t like to be rushed. 

My clients have waited months to get married. The guard “looking at her watch” not only bothered me but also my clients so I addressed “the elephant in the room” by advising the guard “I time my Wedding Ceremonies and have specifically  incorporated 8-10 minutes for my clients today in order to read their own vows. I know exactly how much time I have and stay well within the guidelines. I’m not going to rush this ceremony.” I meant it. 

If you are a guard that doesn’t know or care what the person marrying an inmate has gone through to get there, I will enlighten you. They’ve jumped through hoops. They’ve filed paperwork. They’ve patiently waited. A few encountered idiotic county clerks trying to buy their marriage license. The LAST THING I will allow is for my clients to be rushed through their marriage ceremony. I operate on a timeline well within my allotment for a ceremony inside the Unit. 

I am a professional but, if you want to tap your watch or attempt to cue me mid ceremony, I am more than happy to enlighten you on my timeline. My timeline is twenty five minutes not five. 

My client and I have just driven 3 hours to the Unit. My client and I have a 3 hour drive back and we are going to enjoy our 20 minute ceremony and wait 3-5 minutes for our photos to print. Thank you very much for your patience and see you next time. I posed my new couple in various shots to capture a wide variety of photos. Why? Because if I don’t, all of your photos will be the same pose that’s why. In an attempt to fix our eyes, I also edited these Unit photos to black and white. At 1:24PM, Lacy finally showed up just as we were leaving and minutes before the brides wedding was cancelled because Lacy apparently doesn’t care about creating stress on wedding day for a client. 

Good Lord, if you are an Officiant, get your shit together! It’s a LIFE EVENT. If you can’t perform the function you’ve been retained to perform, be honest and let your client know firsthand. Don’t leave them standing around wondering WHERE YOU ARE ON WEDDING DAY. 

A wedding day that someone waited weeks or months to finally have. A day very important to them. A day they drove hours to a Unit for. A day they took off work for. Put yourself in your Clients position. Wake up. This is a very important day to your client. They trusted you to be there and yet again you were late. They carefully dressed and applied their makeup. They excitedly drove to the unit. Then they miserably waited on you with a guard telling them their wedding would be cancelled if you didn’t show up. Good Lord do you have any idea what you are doing to the people who trusted you? Get it together or get out of this business. Lacey, you and your snarl at Units while dragging in late again are as miserable to my clients and I as they are to yours. Get an alarm clock. Buy a watch. Answer your phone. 

By the way, of you are reading this “late again Lacey,” the next time my staff or my clients and I are forced to wait on you in order to enter the Unit for the wedding they’ve waited months to have, I’m going to ask to speak to the Warden and complain about it. Waiting for you to fly your broom into a prison parking lot with your anxious client wondering why you won’t answer their calls or if their wedding will be cancelled along with my clients and my staff or myself being forced to wait on you to bother showing up stomping your way into the Unit while wearing your frown is the LAST THING ANY OF US NEED ON WEDDING DAY. Being forced to wait on you is a miserable experience for everyone concerned including the Unit itself. Quite frankly, why certain Units force everyone to wait on the “other Officiant” to arrive I have no idea but, your tardiness and your attitude are aggravating and intolerable. 

A few months ago, my Allred client had to get back to work that day and sitting in the clearing area watching your frazzled client wonder IF YOU were going to bother showing up was unsettling to a three of us Lacey. 

My client was also late returning to work BECAUSE you were late AS USUAL Lacey. Your consistent tardiness on wedding day is shocking and saddening. If you worked for anyone else, you would have been fired. Your clients have waited weeks and sometimes months to marry. Your Ferguson client yesterday was forced to fan herself with her marriage license in the sun with over a hundred degree temperatures on sweltering pavement in heels. 

What bride looks forward to being forced to wait and wonder if their Officiant will show up standing in the sun wearing a beautiful chiffon dress with her hair and makeup melting? Get it together and take some degree of consideration into your clients journey. Or, better yet, let them hire someone who cares about their journey!

Not only I but also my clients are sick and tired of “waiting on Lacy” to arrive late and unfriendly or unapologetic to her client or anyone else for that matter. At Coffield, she stomped out after the wedding and left her bewildered client waiting on wedding photos after the same client had been detained because she had a ring box that wouldn’t clear the Unit. As usual, I had jumped in to advise her to leave the box at the machine. 

NO ONE should be walking in alone on wedding day. The role of an Officiant is all encompassing. What it ISN’T is “bothering to show up late.” If you are one of those “other Officiants” for God’s sakes buy a watch and make your client and THEIR DAY a PRIORITY!

I’m at several Units over the next 6 months and THRILLED to be seeing my previous clients at their Vow Renewals. I’m scheduled the next five years with amazing clients I’ve married at Units and just as excited as you are that we are planning a celebration of resilience and endurance of love long after lock up…  

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Crain Unit, Country County Clerks, Chaos & Coming To The Rescue? Travels Of The Texas Twins…

Last night while at the Aladdin movie with my twin sister and twin grandnieces, a text from my Ferguson Unit bride asking “if I ever give rides to my clients” came through. With Makenna telling me “turn off my phone,” I walked out of the theater to call Savannah. In my line of work, there aren’t any “off days.” Cindy followed me out of the theater. We both have tight schedules and getting a text on a holiday is a literal “heads  up Houston because we may have a problem moment.” 

I need to know what’s going on in order to plan and prepare accordingly. All of my clients realize this because I reiterate it over and over again. Keeping me “in the loop” keeps you from encountering problems. I cannot fix what I’m unaware of.  If you are sitting in your car crying because the clerk wouldn’t issue your marriage license, CALL ME. If your car broke down and you don’t know how you are going to get three hours from home to a Unit, CALL ME. If you aren’t sure about what you plan to wear being okay, text me a photo. 

On a handful of occasions (based on the distance and my schedule), I’ve driven a few of my clients to their Unit Wedding and taken them home again. 

Certain clients are also very uncomfortable about driving in the country where deer freely bounce in herds across the road. Just call me, I will pick you up at your hotel near the Unit. I work with you to limit your anxiety. Stay calm. I’m not intimidated by a herd of deer. Cindy isn’t either. 

I also have a friend that has a transportation to and from Prison Unit based business. If you need her contact information, just let me know. She is based out of Houston and owns AM Transportations. She is also happy to help you by driving you to a visit or your wedding. I trust her to take great care of you. Remember though, there is a fee for this rideshare service. 

Based on your distance from my location to you and the Unit, there can be a fee for me to pick you up as well. Sadly, there isn’t a “gas fairy” filling up my tank. 

It’s rare for me to be a shuttle driver but it’s happened before and may happen again. Be aware that I’m based in Fort Worth though so I’m not going to drive to Houston to pick you up to go to Tennessee Colony. If you are more than one hour from my location, I will need you to use public transportation to get as close as possible to the Unit. Your officiant fee DOES NOT cover transportation. I will work with you to find a solution but remember I have several clients that warrant my time and attention. 

No one “plans” car trouble on wedding day. Once I’ve confirmed a wedding date with the Unit, we really need to honor the schedule. If you are having an emergency, please let me know ASAP so that I can notify the Unit and reschedule your date well within 48 hours. 

Rescheduled ceremony dates can and do give cause to the Unit to REQUIRE a new I60 and the entire process of getting permission to marry to start all over again. There’s a reason I frown upon reschedules. The reason is that the clock may very well start ticking all over again. I strongly encourage you to show up on a scheduled and confirmed wedding date because you’ve waited months to get that date. The next date (if you have rescheduled your original date) might not be as “easy to change as you think.” It most cases, it isn’t. Also, my own schedule is quite tight. If I’ve “held a date for you only to have you change it at the last minute,” you are effectively put back in line behind my other clients waiting on dates. There is no line jumping. Confirmed dates are important to the Unit. They are accommodating us into THEIR SCHEDULE. 

Line jumping “because you’ve changed your mind regarding a date” affects everyone else on my books. Please be courteous and understand that you are NOT my ONLY client. 

I’m generally juggling 10-20 clients per month planning prison weddings in Texas alone. We also service county jails and other states as well as Texas Twins Events Clients AND Pawning Planners Clients AS WELL as venues that I’m on staff at. “Changing your mind less than 48 hours before a confirmed event” affects everyone on my books. That “particular date” could have been used for another client after all. 

A few years ago, I needed a ride from Allred Unit myself. It’s highly irregular for me to need a ride. In fact, I doubt it Kay ever happen again. What happened? An ice storm had came through North Texas. I don’t drive on ice and had decided to take a Greyhound bus to Wichita Falls. The bus station in Wichita Falls had closed due to inclement weather and effectively left me afoot. No taxis and bad luck were making it look as if I would be finding a hotel. 

Thankfully, my wonderful new bride and her mother and new mother in law gave me a ride back to Fort Worth and my SUV at the Greyhound station. 

Hitching a ride can work in most cases and only takes a certain amount of “working it out” based on scheduling. If I can’t accommodate your needs, I can help locate public transportation or AM Transportations to get you where you need to be. 

Last year, my Estes bride was coming from Houston on Greyhound and needed a lift to the Unit. We enjoyed breakfast with my family at Ole South Pancake House before driving to Venus, Texas. Estes is nearly an hour from Fort Worth and my new friend and I had a great day together. After leaving Estes, I drove to the Fort Worth Botanic Garden to get bridal photos before driving my client back to Greyhound. 

Occasionally, I’m at more than one Unit on the same day. Taking a moment to look at my schedule next week, I told Savannah “I will need to leave Fort Worth to pick you up in Dallas by 9AM. There’s road construction of 45 so the estimated timeline of 2 and a half hours to Ferguson is incorrect. We need to leave Dallas 3 hours earlier in order to arrive with plenty of time to clear into the Unit.” I’m ALWAYS looking at timelines. 

Savannah had offered to meet me in Grand Prairie which is closer to my location. However, Savannah also wanted me to meet her in Dallas the following day (Thursday) to file her license (because she was uncomfortable having me file it and the clerk mailing it to her) I decided that I would drive her to the Unit and get bridal photos arriving early near Ferguson, perform the wedding, return to Dallas, file the license with her and THEN take her home. 

Thankfully, on the day of her wedding, I’m not scheduled at another Unit. Because I’m not, I have time to accommodate her need for a ride. 

I make exceptions frequently but, my schedule is key to “working it out.” If I have more than one Unit on the same day of another Unit wedding, the client needing a lift will be spending the entire day with me. I cannot “alter my schedule” to run you home. 

Let’s review more than one Unit in one day. I call this “Unit Stacking.” If your Unit is within 1-2 hour of another Unit, I stack the secondary Unit. If there is more than one client at the same Unit, you MUST ARRIVE on time in order to accommodate other clients. 

I’m going to catch everyone up on why I send you to cities to purchase a marriage license ONE MORE TIME. Coryell County Clerk now requires you to have a birth certificate, TDCJ ID and Absentee Affidavit. 

Crain Unit WILL NOT SEND the TDCJ ID or Absentee Affidavit and much less BOTH anywhere other than the courthouse. This is ongoing issue with Crain. On yet another phone call to the law library pertaining to two of my clients needing these documents in order to purchase their marriage licenses, the clerk at Crain literally told me “we will not send an ID to anyone other than the clerks office.” 

My suggestion FOR ALL CRAIN CLIENTS is to have Crain send the documents to ANY clerk other than Coryell County. 

Since April, Gary has been to Coryell County at least three times attempting to purchase a marriage license. The combination of Crain Unit and their refusal to mail the required documents to purchase a marriage license to the grooms (or brides) like every other Unit TDCJ Unit does along with the Coryell County Circus stipulations that no other County Clerk in Texas has have continued to “hold up the prison wedding planning process.” I’ve alerted the Courts In Huntsville to the fiasco regarding Crain refusing to mail the documents necessary to buy a marriage license to the people on the outside attempting to do so. 

Traditionally, the inmate will visit the law library to order a TDCJ ID. The person on the outside will send an Absentee Affidavit which will be notarized in the Law Library and mailed to the person on the outside to purchase the marriage license. 

Why Units “change things up” I have no idea. BUT a few Units do. If we cannot overcome their process, we instead hunker down and spend months going through THEIR process. 

Thankfully, Gary FINALLY has a birth certificate. Eric and Gary, I cannot wait to finally meet you both in person and get you married. Gary it’s been a process and had Crain simply allowed Aimee to mail you her ID and Absentee Affidavit, you could have easily purchased a marriage license in Harris County without going through repeated visits to Coryell. Smaller counties continue to make their own rules.

Last year, another client arrived to meet me at the Coryell County Courthouse for his photo shoot prior to driving to the Unit for the wedding. He had driven from Austin. He had also assumed that I had a “copy” of his license. There are no copies of the ORIGINAL marriage license. Only the person purchasing the marriage license has the marriage license. There is only one marriage license. PLEASE BRING IT WITH YOU. After your marriage license is signed by me AND filed at the clerks office, you can purchase a Certified Copy Of Your Marriage License. 

Since a question of name changing being automatic after marriage “came up” last week, your name is not “automatically changed because you are married.” Changing your name AFTER marriage is a legal process. To perform the process, you will take your marriage license AFTER I’ve signed it and filed it with the clerks office to the DMV to change your name. You will then go to SS to update your name there as well. The DMV has a fee associated with your new drivers license. I.E. it’s not free to change your state issued ID to reflect your new name. 

YOU MUST BRING your VALID ID and MARRIAGE LICENSE to Unit weddings at Prisons. We are on site specifically for a legal marriage. If you do not have the documentation, there will not be a wedding. Your Unit wedding will be rescheduled. Getting married at a prison is a process. However, getting your marriage license shouldn’t be as complicated as “country clerks” and a few TDCJ law libraries are making it out to be. For years now, I’ve sent my clients to CITIES to purchase marriage licenses. Country clerks in small towns are wholly and entirely unfamiliar with inmate marriage. Unless of course, the clerk is in a town near a prison unit in which case they may be aware of the legal rights for inmates to marry but, you are taking a chance if you don’t bother calling first I can assure you. 

A few days ago, my Ellis Unit bride, Amanda went to buy her marriage license in Eastland, Texas. The clerk refused to accept the documentation that ANY city clerk would. Amanda called me. Amanda had also taken the Twogether In Texas course that waives the three day waiting period. Since she’s marrying at Ellis Unit Tuesday, I suggested buying the marriage license from Huntsville on the morning of her wedding scheduled at 1PM and then filing it in Huntsville rather than trying to convince Eastland of her right to purchase a marriage license. 

I send you to cities because I’m all too aware of the issues that country clerks have put other clients through. How? Because like you, everyone else called me when they couldn’t buy a license too. Yes, my phone rings all day long and my role is to solve problems. I excel at problem solving on a regular basis. 

If you are near Dallas or Fort Worth, both counties are familiar with Absentee Affidavits and inmate marriage as is Harris County, Travis County, Bell County and many others. City clerks are friendly and helpful. Country clerks continue to upset clients by telling them they cannot buy a marriage license unless the absent applicant is armed forces. 

There’s a reason I’m sending you to a city. A few months ago, my Hobbs New Mexico bride was having problems getting a license and called me. I mapped out the closest clerks to her location and called them PRIOR to sending her to buy the license. Lubbock County issued the license. 

If you are having problems buying your license, contact me. Officiating your wedding involves FAR MORE THAN SIMPLY SHOWING UP. I cannot stress this point enough to ANYONE planning to marry an inmate. 

Everyone it seems is hopping on the TDCJ Officiant bandwagon but, not everyone knows how to solve unexpected problems. I do. I also keep my promises. The role of an Officiant pertaining to inmate marriage can be and is all encompassing. From a mother figure to the maid of honor to a bridesmaid to a photographer to a planner to an Officiant, my role covers every base. 

I hold your hand through a very confusing and lengthy process because I’m well aware that marrying an inmate isn’t “simple” and much less cut or dry.  A few weeks ago, LeBlanc refused to Approve a wedding for one of my clients because “the inmate is already listed as being married and therefore not entitled to a marriage ceremony.” I called the Chaplain and after a lengthy conversation, called the Courts in Huntsville to overcome the issue. Knowing how to address unexpected issues is part of the prison wedding process. If you are entrusting your prison wedding to someone who THINKS showing up on wedding day encompasses THEIR ROLE, you have hired the wrong person. When you run into a problem though, you will call me. I fix problems. I know how to. I’m seasoned and experienced. I know Procedures and Policies. For everyone else assuming that officiating a prison wedding is easy and they can do it too, good luck to you and please don’t call me to tell you how to perform a task you have no idea to do. 

I’m not in the “training others to compete with me business.” I’m in the wedding and event business and I know every aspect of my job or role. No one trained me. I educated myself to all aspects of any business I’ve ever worked in including prison weddings. I’m not going to train you either. 

For a few years now, other TDCJ Officiants have asked me to refer them my clients. Sorry kids, I trained my family members instead. Two generations of my family now handle prison weddings that I don’t have time to address myself in numerous states. They are educated to unexpected issues as well because I’ve trained them to be. Nearly once a week someone contacts me to “teach them how to do what I do.” I’m not about to create competition that doesn’t exist because you took the time to ask me to do so. I’m busy addressing my clients. 

For months now, undoing a CLM status at Telford Unit in order to obtain Approval to marry was another issue. It was also one that was overcome. Hire someone knowledgeable. I can’t stress this enough. I’ve been the 2nd and even 3rd Officiant my clients hired because they initially hired the wrong person. 

In certain circumstances like Hobby Unit, I’ve been hired AFTER a client has paid “other Officiants” not once but twice. I not only married her but even drove this client from Grand Prairie to Hobby and back again! This poor lady trusted not one but two other Officiants who let her down. I AM RELIABLE and trustworthy. If I tell you I’m going to do something, you can bet that I am. Unlike “other officiants” I exceed my clients expectations which is why I’m so sought after in this industry. I also took my Hobby Unit bride to lunch and shot her bridal photos on the way back to Grand Prairie. I’ve had questions regarding retakes of Unit photos. Please do not complain about the quality of Unit photos. Guards are not professional photographers. They are doing the best they can with the equipment they have. 

Holiday Unit is hit and miss on photos. We may have good photos at one wedding and fuzzy photos at the next. If you are on Instagram looking through Unit photos on my account and not paying attention to the Unit, the reason that Estes photos are clear is that they are emailed. The photo quality of emailed photos is crisper than printed photos.

McConnell does a great job on photos as does Hodge. Michael also has great photos too but, the ONLY photos we are going to have of you with the inmate are going to be Unit photos so please do not send complaints about your Unit photos to the Unit or the Courts. 

Outdoor photos and white clothing create a glare. This cannot be overcome. Overexposed photos are due in part to the camera as well as sunlight. Certain Units like Ferguson now have a disclaimer regarding photo quality they go over with us prior to taking photos at your wedding. They are doing the best that they can. 

Poses for photos. I will pose you for Unit photos. Don’t worry about how to pose at the Unit. I know you are nervous and in certain cases like the photo below, guards will hand me the camera to take the photo myself. I’m very familiar with photography and poses and want you to have the best photos you can at your Unit wedding. 

We cannot control the quality of your Unit photos. What I can do is give you beautiful wedding photos taken with me and my inventory before or after your ceremony to ensure you have beautiful photos to remember your wedding day. I’m at several Units in the coming weeks and looking forward to finally meeting all of you at your prison wedding. While getting your paperwork and buying your license can be somewhat stressful, pat yourself on the back because you’ve finally made it through the process. 

It’s a lengthy process but, you chose an Officiant (me) who walked you through the process and held your hand for weeks or even months and in the Torres Unit case, waited for over a year to finally meet you at your Prison Wedding. We did it. You’re married now. It wasn’t easy and it took time  (a year) but, you made it. Questions about the glass continue to roll in. If the inmate is G4 or G5, there will be glass. Accept this because the glass will be a part of your ceremony. It pains me as much as it pains you that your wedding will not be “sealed with a kiss” but, it’s something that cannot be changed.

I’m back at Holiday Unit in the coming weeks and will once again go over why wearing loose fitting clothing subjects you to a search. Although tight fitting clothing is not permitted, loose fitting clothing can hide many things which is why wearing a loose fitting, flowing garment will require a more thorough pat down in the privacy of the restroom. 

If you arrive at your prison wedding in a oversized garment or dress, be prepared to be asked to go into the restroom. 

Please do not argue with TDCJ personnel regarding this request for a private pat down. It’s actually not a request. 

We are on site and the entire Unit is accommodating your request to marry at a prison. Attire is outlined under the visitation dress code. Your attire on wedding day falls under the same guidelines. If your clothing is loose, you will be asked to go into the bathroom with a guard. If you are wearing an underwire bra or corset, you will also be asked to go into the restroom. You MUST CLEAR INTO THE UNIT. 

If you are wearing a weave, clips, pins or other metal items in your hair, you will be asked to remove them. DO NOT GET UPSET. We must clear into the Unit. 

Veils are allowed but must not cover your face. Veils must be worn in the fashion below with the fabric going over your back not pulled over the front. Hair clips, bobby pins, crowns, tiaras, fascinators, wigs, weaves, hairpieces and extensions containing metal products must be removed. Please be aware of this. You will be allowed to go into the restroom and put your hair back up or on. 

If you need assistance with your hair, I can help you after we’ve both cleared into the Unit. But, clearing the machine is a REQUIREMENT. Any metal products are going to set off the machine. From underwire bras to girdles or corsets, the wires are going to set off the machine. 

Wearing white. I’ve had many questions about my Estes bride wearing all white. She also wore a red scarf into the visitation area that was removed for her ceremony and put back on when leaving the visitation area. 

Inmates wear all white. Because of this, you will need to add another color to your attire on wedding day. Whether it’s a cami, scarf, or other item, it needs to be a color that isn’t white. 

I’m on site all weekend with traditional clients and rather than using FB or Instagram messaging, request that you text or email me as I’m rarely on social media on weekends. Thanks. 

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Learning Curves- When Love Isn’t Enough & Other Factors In The Prison Wedding Planning Process…

For several weeks now, I’ve been talking to one of my brides about not only her concerns but my own as well regarding marrying an inmate that she’s only “known since December.” The inmate is somewhat manipulative and controlling which highly concerns me. 

Yesterday’s phone call came while I was going down the list of calls to Chaplains and law libraries for several clients waiting on I60’s to be processed. I took a break to listen to Samantha’s concerns and scheduling at Jordan Unit. The inmate had requested a transfer to another Unit which effectively puts a “hold” on wedding scheduling. This “hold” would help give Samantha time to re evaluate marrying. 

Samantha had called me to advise me that the transfer had been denied. After twenty minutes of discussing whether or not Samantha wanted to move forward, it was decided that we would “stall this wedding” until July or August due to a number of things that the inmate was doing to control her life from behind bars. 

Let’s go over a few of these “issues” to better grasp the red flags flying high in what should be a joyous journey for the bride on the outside but, in Samantha’s situation, isn’t. 

A few weeks ago, on another phone call, Samantha told me that the inmate had her sending $200 a month “for their future.” I found this not only odd but also manipulative and voiced my concerns. I also listened carefully about other problems in the relationship. What were they? First, the inmate didn’t want Samantha to wear makeup or “look too attractive.” Samantha is a waitress and her appearance is important. Also, the inmate didn’t want Samantha to take her children swimming because “you will be wearing a bathing suit and I don’t want other men hitting on you.” The monetary demands along with Samanthas “life on the outside” were greatly being affected by the inmate who was also in a hurry to get married. The “hurry” was for the inmate to have more control. 

Slowing this wedding down was in Samantha’s best interest. In fact, canceling it would be in her best interest but, I can only give my clients advice. It’s not my role to tell them who not to marry. I carefully advise clients without overstepping bounds. I also point out things they may not realize while I’m at it. With Samantha, I’ve been worrying about her future for a month now. 

Meanwhile, my Diboll Unit bride has decided not to marry. She sent me a text last night wanting to gift her new with tags size 12 petite dress to another bride in an effort “to be part of the reason they smile on wedding day.” I found this selfless act while struggling with her own heartbreak just another reason of why my prison clients are such giving and compassionate individuals. 

For those unaware of this, the person “on the outside” is doing time too. They are pulling the wagon alone. They are paying all of the bills, raising children and making every sacrifice to make their relationship work. It’s astounding how determined and resilient they are. For Gabriella, her desire to give a dress she loved and planned to marry in herself is a wholly generous and selfless proposition. 

My clients are both passionate and perseverant. I pray that one day Gabriella finds someone worthy of her. When she does, I will marry her. 

After months of overcoming a CLM issue at TDCJ Telford Unit, I’m really looking forward to finally meeting my bride in August. CLM or CLW issues DRAMATICALLY slow the usual timelines of 4-6 weeks turnaround down. In fact, we can wait months to resolve an unexpected issue. Patience is a virtue in the prison wedding planning process. Knowing how to overcome an unexpected issue is key to moving forward. I find solutions. 

I’m headed back to Torres Unit in Hondo, Texas and looking forward to meeting two special brides who also plan to marry on the same day. My McConnell brides are too. 

Cindy and I are really looking forward to seeing Amanda again at Ellis Unit. We had met her a few months ago for family photos in Eastland, Texas and had a great time on location with my grandnieces and her children playing together. 

Many of my brides are sending me photos of what they plan to wear. This is always a great idea and I’m happy to go over your outfit with you. My Crain and Woodman Grooms don’t need to do this as they will be wearing dress shirts and slacks well within TDCJ guidelines. Please do not bring paper money on wedding day to purchase photos. Bring quarters. Unit photos are $3 each. I will buy three and make copies for you. If you wish to buy more, bring your quarters in a ziplock bag and do not bring more than $21 into the Unit. No cell phones. No paper money. No cameras. You MUST BRING your state issued ID or Passport AND your marriage license. If you have handwritten vows, hand them to me PRIOR to entry.  

I’d like to wish all of my July clients from years gone by a Happy Anniversary. I remember all too well how nervous and excited you were on wedding day. We’ve shared precious moments together on location. Meeting your families and sharing your joy is a gift to not only myself but also my staff. 

I am often asked “what I remember the most on location at events?” I remember my clients smiles, their joy and their immense gratitude at finding the love of their life. Soul mates are difficult to find but, my clients did. I remember being hugged walking up to you and how happy you were that the day had finally come. 

Weddings are and will always be my favorite events. Vow Renewals are equally joyous as are baptisms but seeing our families again for a celebration whether it’s the birth of a child or a Vow Renewal or even a birthday party is a family reunion for my Team and I. Clients are the fabric of our lives. Many people are surprised at how often previous clients rebook but they shouldn’t be. Our clients have established a bond with us. In many cases even a death in their family is a rebooking for a celebrant and planner at their loved ones memorial. 

I will always remember how joyous Burt and Deanna were on their wedding day. It had been raining in the park they chose to marry in. The tulips hadn’t bloomed so Burt planted imitation tulips. Burt paid attention to the details. Burt and his friends from Carswell AFB had also draped fabric from the trees. 

Two years after marrying Burt & Deanna, an email from Deanna trying to locate me through Gig Salad came in. “You married us and you may not remember us. We are a military couple from Carswell AFB. We need your help. We want you to baptize our baby.” Because Gig Salad limits correspondence unless the client books you, I was unable to share my phone number or contact information with Deanna. But, I easily located her phone number after walking into my home office and pulling files for the three years of weddings to locate my client records for Deanna. 

I keep detailed records of client correspondence and bookings. I quickly sent a text to tell her I would call her. She excitedly told me “we are pregnant and I wouldn’t want anyone but you to baptize our baby. Please tell me you will be available to Bless our child. We are overjoyed at this miracle.” 

Thinking to myself ” I WILL MAKE time,” I checked my schedule. Cindy and I were traveling back and forth to California as we were filming This Time Next Year but I went ahead and told Deanna that “if I needed to catch a flight from LAX to DFW on short notice I could fly to DFW and back to LAX in order to accommodate Burt and Deanna’s request.” 

I’m constantly checking distances and scheduling. The flights from DFW to LAX are easy and quick. I always leave a car at DFW and have a rental waiting at LAX. Fluidity and planning ahead are key to addressing our numerous clients. There isn’t a day that goes by I’m not checking distance from one prison unit to the next to see if I can move from Unit A to B and even C on the same day. I map out my timelines over and over again. If a Unit is within 2 hours of a booked Unit, it’s usually doable. But if the secondary Unit is 3 or more hours from the booked Unit, we must look at the next available date instead. 

Booked Prison Unit Dates are non moveable. Once I’ve confirmed a date, it’s literally “set in stone” at a prison. 

A few months later while in my home office preparing a ceremony for a house blessing, Deanna called me again. This phone call was far from the joyous earlier call. This call was drought with sad news. Deanna was crying. Baby Delilah phone had Trisomy and Deanna needed me to be able to get to Harris Hospital on short notice as Delilah was only expected to live a few short hours. I was crushed. 

In fact, I was speechless. I’d never heard of Trisomy. I grabbed a Merck Manual to educate myself. I can’t imagine how Deanna must have felt at her OB/GYN appointment during that check up. I couldn’t imagine how carrying a child with the odds of survival being so slim would affect anyone as joyous at conceiving as Deanna was could accept this devastating blow. I mourned for her. I grieved for the child that had blessed their marriage. I prayed. I also prepared. 

For a number of years, I was a volunteer hospice clergy at area hospitals. Sadly, the stress and reality of many patients facing death was simply too much for me mentally. I stopped volunteering after at Baylor and Harris. How doctors handle death daily it I have no idea.

Deanna had added “we will also need you to perform the memorial. Burt and I wouldn’t want anyone other than the person who married us to handle such an emotional and important role.” My heart sank. I knew how difficult it must have been for Deanna to place that call to me. I also knew that as she carried the baby she so desperately wanted that she was hoping for a miracle. I did too. I prayed Delilah would defy the odds. I would continue to pray for months. 

A few months later, the call came. Cindy and I were scheduled at Iheart radio in Dallas. We went to see Burt and Deanna first to check timelines of Delilahs possible birth. There was time to run to Dallas and return to Fort Worth. Cindy and I dashed through our interviews to run back to Burt and Deanna. Delilah was tiny. The smallest baby I’ve ever seen. Cindy and I were surprised by the number of Carswell military members in the room. 

Beyond Deanna’s bed were at least 15-20 AFB coworkers of Burt and Deanna. They were all crying. A room packed with crying soldiers is something you won’t forget. The sadness in the room literally sucked the air from my lungs. I tried to breathe deeply and focus on staying professional and remembering my role walking into that room and past the mourners. Hats in hand, their silent tears said it all. You could hear a pin drop and sniffles over the machines and medical equipment. 

Holding my composure and emotions inside in order to perform the bedside baptism was incredibly difficult. At that moment, I still harbored hope that Delilah would make it. Cindy looked at me from the back of the room with the military personnel to give me the “don’t cry. Your role is to comfort” pep talk as she too wiped away her tears. Cindy knew I was terrified of losing my composure. We had discussed it over and over again. 

Minutes after the above photo was taken, Burt and Deanna told me “we only have a few hours.” I was again literally crushed. I was also enlightened as to why Delilah wasn’t in an incubator. 

By the time I lifted baby Delilah to perform her baptism, my sorrow was so profound that my tears dropped silently on the child this couple had so desperately wanted. I couldn’t hide my sadness. 

A few days later, I performed baby Delilahs memorial wearing the same vestment that I had married Burt and Deanna in. Deanna had asked that I wear the same thing I had met them wearing two years prior at Sampson Park. Delilah wore a gown handcrafted from Deanna’s wedding dress. 

I remember staying up all night working on my ceremony. The details of how I had met the Villareals. The moment of Burt happily walking up to me. The look on his face as Deanna approached us. The man gently playing guitar behind us. The sun breaking through the grey summer day bringing light and promise. I remember every aspect of any ceremony that I’ve ever performed. 

Life Events are Life Moments. Saying goodbye to Delilah was the hardest ceremony that I’ve ever performed in my life as an Officiant, Planner and Celebrant. 

My role is to comfort families as a celebrant but, it was difficult to mask my own emotions. Loss always is. Death is a dark stranger but the death of a child is and always will be the most difficult role that I have ever played. 

Deanna never recovered from the loss of Delilah. I doubt she ever will. She has lost the ability to try to conceive again. Burt and Deanna are praying that they can adopt. I’m praying for them. They are wonderful people who would joyously love to parent a child together. 

The relationship I share with my clients is remarkably intimate. They trust myself and my Team to understand their journey. For some, the journey is far more difficult. Surprises. Setbacks. No one expects them but, whether you are planning an elaborate event or planning a prison wedding, there can be extraordinary circumstances that you didn’t expect. Rain at an outdoor venue. A transfer of the inmate less than 24 hours before their scheduled wedding. These things are beyond our control but, we will work through them together. 

For others like Samantha or Gabriella, they might need a kind word or even advice. I’m there for them. I listen to their concerns. I guide them. They need someone to listen. For my prison wedding clients, it’s not uncommon for them to tell me “you are the only person I can talk to.” In many cases, I am. 

Making arrangements and smoothing the path is my specialty. It’s very important to me that clients aren’t worried about things I can address on their behalf. Experience matters. I’m in the Life Events business. There are no do overs. My events are as humanly close to perfect as possible. Cindy and I give others the weddings we never had ourselves. We care far more than anyone realizes because we know how important the details are to our clients. 

I cried at Delilahs memorial and I cried at her baptism. I cried for the child my clients so desperately wanted but couldn’t keep. I will never forget the moments I’ve shared with any of my couples. 

Perhaps I’m different because I care so much but my clients are all like my own children. I want what’s best for all of them. I want them happy. I celebrate their successes and I mourn their losses. I pray Burt and Deanna find a baby to adopt and shower with love.

A special anniversary wish for my ladies who shared a friendship ceremony a few years ago goes out to three amazing ladies. 

Two of these ladies I married to each other and one of these three friends is still waiting to find the right partner. They are out there Lorraine and I know that one day you too will find a life partner.Bouncing from exclusive venues to Prisons, backyards, parks and other interesting and varied locations throughout wedding season keeps me from ever being bored. Cindy and I love to load up and hit the road on our way to meet amazing clients. 

Our Huntsville client who contacted us through The Pawning Planners several weeks ago loves her photos and is still trying to find Mr Right. We never did find a way to effectively “flip the two headed fox stole” she had bartered in exchange for her photo shoot. If you are interested in a two headed fox stole missing an eyeball, PLEASE give us a shout. We ship AND deliver. This stole needs a new home. 

If you missed the blog on the Huntsville client and the unique circumstances of her request for services, here’s the link– The Pawning Planners- Turning Trash Into Treasure. More Flips, Flops & Fun Adventures.

We have several Vow Renewals coming up over the next two years from previous prison clients who have contacted us to schedule. A special shout out of congratulations to my Darrington, Estes, Coffield, Michael, Bridgeport, Estelle, Hobby and Stiles Unit clients who have excitedly shared their good news with me. We look forward to seeing ya all again soon. 

One of my clients from Michael Unit wanted to plan her Vow Renewal for ten years away. This IS UNUSUAL. Another client I married a few months ago who asked me to wear camouflage attire to her wedding also has scheduled for ten years away. Good Lord, I hope I’m still alive. 

Ten years out is a lifetime away but, God willing, my Team and I will honored to see you all again.

From prisons to venues and everywhere in between, I’ve decided to cut back from large over the top events. 2019 will be our last year of chaotic and unpredictable events with too many Indians and not enough Chiefs on location. 

My reasons for declining future “large budget events” is based entirely on years of one surprise after another and clients opting not to hire enough security with open bars on site. From arrests to injuries on location, I have far more fun as does my Team with smaller parties of 200 or less guests.I’ve been asked about groom tossing. This tradition is fun but can also be dangerous. How so? The groom in California became entangled in the lights. He could also have fallen. Because of the liability associated with groom tossing, we ask about traditional aspects when planning your wedding or Vow Renewal to ensure that there aren’t accidents or injuries on location. We want your event seamless and worry free. 

I’m going to once again “go over” guests jumping in front of my photographers to get their own photos on location. For years now, my photographers have complained about trying to angle around guests who jump up to take their own photos. PLEASE REFRAIN from doing this. You are killing the shot for a photographer who has been hired to capture the shot. It’s often impossible to crop guests out of photos they’ve literally jumped into. 

A few weeks ago, this “guest with a phone or camera” scenario jumping into the shot ruined several photos. We have one shot at a photo on location. It’s a moment that cannot be duplicated. 

Please do not jump in front of photographers. If you’d like to take your own photo, give our photographers time to get the shot and THEN take your own photo. This isn’t a competition. It’s a Life Event. 

If you are in a photo taking a photo, it’s not only difficult and occasionally impossible to crop you but also time consuming adding more stress to my photographers during the editing process. Give the couple the opportunity to have beautiful photos of THEIR EVENT. The continued issues of people jumping into a shot roll on but, courtesy would mandate that if you see a photographer trying to capture a photo that you step out of the shot or… put your phone down and strike a pose instead. 

I’m at Ferguson, Ellis, Michael, Coffield & Green Bay Units in the coming weeks and as excited as you are that your wedding day has finally come to fruition. Please remember to err on the side of caution regarding your attire at your prison wedding.

For my California prison clients, the dress code is far more stringent. Be aware of this. If you need me to send you the dress code, I’m happy to do so. No one wants to wear a cafeteria smock. 

For my Arkansas prison clients, the wait is nearly over and we look forward to meeting you very soon at your wedding.

The continued questions regarding guests at weddings because you’ve seen guests in Louisiana at Prisons question keeps coming up. Louisiana allows guests. Texas in nearly ALL cases does not. The ONLY Unit in Texas that has allowed guests present is Sanders Estes Venus, Texas. Requests for guests must be submitted to the Warden by the inmate. BUT, I’ve never had ANY Unit other than Estes Approve a guest of guests at a prison wedding. We cannot bring rings to your prison wedding. Section K of the Administrative Directive pertaining to Offender Property in Texas specifically forbids ring exchanges. I’m sorry but, we follow ALL rules at prison weddings. 

If you’d like to bring friends or family with you to your prison wedding, you can but THEY MUST WAIT in the parking lot. They are WELCOME to join you at your photo shoot with us and I encourage you to bring friends or family with you to incorporate your friends and family into your photos. The more the merrier.Cindy and I will pack my SUV with enough bouquets, tiaras, furs, fascinators, signs and props to accommodate up to 6 other people at your photo shoot. 

I created an inventory that “rolls with me” to your prison wedding. From pink multi to teal multi to red multi bouquets and bouteniers or even mink coats and clothing in your size, my inventory is always a hit with our clients. We think of everything so you don’t have to. If you can’t wear your wedding dress to your Unit wedding, bring it with you and change clothes for your bridal photos. 

If you’d like to change clothes a few times to have a wider variety of photo options, bring additional clothing changes with you as well. Your photo location can be at a courthouse, city street, field, farm, abandoned building or anywhere near the Unit. It CANNOT be on Unit property though. We MUST leave the Unit to find a location nearby. Try to wear something without patterns on the fabric to your photo shoot in order for us to capture a “clean shot.” 

Solid colors are perfect for your photo shoot. Large, bold or busy patterns can be distracting. We have a wide array of tiaras and furs as well as scarves and shawls to add to your attire on photo shoot location events. 

It’s not unusual for our clients to bring their mother, grandmother, children and grandchildren to their photo shoot and we encourage making your photo shoot a family affair and opportunity to capture family photos together sharing your wedding day. 

From best friends to grandmothers and even pets, your photo shoot should incorporate what’s important to you. If there is someone special in your life sharing your journey from the outside, invite them along. We won’t be in the Unit for more than an hour in most cases. 

 Jozette brought her amazing grandmother to Torres Unit in Hondo, Texas. I packed an assortment of evening jackets as well as furs, bouquets and tiaras to bring fun. 

These two ladies were amazing good sports at an abandoned hotel near the Unit that I saw driving to Torres. My Coffield Unit bride loved the building near Tennessee Colony I saw driving past on my way to meet her. If you have noticed a unique old building, storefront or interesting building, just let me know. We will follow you there. 

I’ve been asked about our fascinators. Cindy and I stopped selling them a few years ago. Why? Because our clients love them. We incorporated them into our photo booth props instead. Cindy makes the fascinators by hand. I create the floral designs.  

We add to our inventory year round to keep it fresh and fun. From tiaras to furs to even wedding dresses, having everything our clients need is essential to exceeding their expectations. 

Buildings with murals also make great backdrops for location photography. My Bridgeport bride loved the unique wall art I found on my last trip to Bridgeport Unit and we found a wide array of great photo ops using the landscape of Bridgeport. Just keep your eyes open driving to visit and look for “out of the ordinary” locations. 

The best location for photos in Abilene is Jacobs Dream at Abilene Christian University. It’s perfect. If you are marrying at Robertson Unit, be sure to go by the university and check it out. Cindy and I along with the Texas Twins Events Team look forward to meeting you, your friends, your family and your inmate at your prison wedding soon. 

In unique situations, I become the mother I have never had to clients that need a friend. Samantha is reconsidering her decision to marry. It’s an important decision. Choose carefully. Life partners are worth waiting for. You can’t find the right one if you are “saddled up” with the wrong one… 

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“UNLESS you have MADE the JOURNEY, never ATTEMPT to OFFER others, DIRECTIONS for their TRIP”

While going over event details with a client from my home office last night, my husband overheard me suggest hiring an outside bartender and security for an upcoming prom themed birthday party for 110-120 guests in November. My husband was getting a martini at the bar in my office. Occasionally when dealing with other vendors, I need a drink myself which is why I chose one of our three dens with an adjoining bar as my home office. True story. 

Many vendors will chase a dollar to make a dime. They lose businesses everyday over their inability to retain and keep clients. But, I don’t have the time to buy a venue and am therefore cautious with clients needing one. I ask the questions because I need the answers. My role as a planner is to make Events as affordable as possible. Budgeting is key. There are no friends in the events industry that can gain my client based on our relationship of friendship. Here’s how they can though- by offering the best value for my client. Sounds simple but, believe me it isn’t. Brand loyalty is built. 

Years ago, my husband bought not one but two Cadillac’s from me before getting the courage to ask me out to dinner. I also had advised him of ways to cut the costs of buying a luxury vehicle. I’m honest. My clients wouldn’t buy from anyone else at Cadillac, GMC or Hummer. Why? I earned their trust and whenever possible I also found and made the best car deal for them. 

My husband and I met while I was going through a divorce. It was a war. My ex had taken the car I believed he had bought in my name back and effectively left me without a vehicle. I had a son to get to school. I had to get to work. I also had to pay my lecherous attorneys. The solution? Visiting the dealership that serviced my vehicle. You know the one that I thought I owned and didn’t. I pitched myself as a salesperson. I also obtained a position within an industry that I had never worked in before. I had sold furs, jewelry, filmed commercials with Mel Tillis and worked as a high end print and commercial model for over twenty years at the time I married. 

But, I needed a car. Luxury car dealerships provided demos. I needed one. I also needed insurance and an income. Cadillac gave me all three. Building a client base required thinking outside the box. The old dogs on the sales floor had established clients. I needed my own. To overcome this obstacle, I hired my former photographer and ran my own print ads. Not just anywhere though. I ran these ads in area country clubs. Targeting consumers who could afford luxury cars. 

The same people at country clubs just like my rich and soon to be ex husband who played golf at, had drinks in the Men’s Only club at and dined at while I was effectively chasing a dime to make a dollar. 

The first ad at Ridglea Country Club shocked him. “Working as a car salesmen? What are my friends going to think? Come home and stop this. We can work it out. I will give you your Deville back. I don’t like everyone at the club seeing my wife in an evening dress pitching cars!” Hmm, I didn’t care. After all, my ex took the car he claimed to have bought me in my name back leaving me afoot with a son. He did this to force me into crawling back. Instead, I crawled away. 

That first ad sold 11 Cadillac’s, 2 Hummers and 3 GMC SUVs. I was smiling all the way to the bank. My ads brought clients in. My honesty sold them. My reputation earned me award after award. I was sought after. When people walked into the dealership holding a flyer from Ridglea, Colonial, Shady Oaks or Rivercrest Country Club they weren’t looking for my competitors on the sales floor, they were looking for me. If they didn’t have an appointment, they waited on me to be available too. 

I had also done something in the car industry no one had ever done before and I could support myself in style because of it. I didn’t need my Deville back. I needed an income, a vehicle, insurance and independence. Cadillac and my ability to think outside the box gave me all of the things I needed. My history surprises people. I’ve never been lucky. I’ve always been resilient. Did I expect to find a husband at Cadillac? No. I wasn’t looking. It was the first time in my entire life that I wasn’t worried about my future. I didn’t date. I wore my wedding ring to work and even had a photo of my ex in my office. I was all business all the time. 

My current husband had bought an SRX from me a year before walking into the dealership to tell me he hated it. I had another client in my office and asked him to wait in the lobby. I was concerned about him being upside down in the SRX and trying to find a way to save him money while closing a sale on an XLR. My solution? A demo. They are thousands less than new cars and carry a warranty. 

I brought him in and explained why I thought it was in his best interest to flip out of the SRX and into the Cadillac Escalade demo that I had been driving. “I’m not concerned about the cost. The SRX reminds me of my ex wife. Your husband must adore you and be so proud of you. I saw your billboard on the highway. You’re smart, successful, honest and upfront. He is a lucky man.” 

Snap. My faux personal life of being happily married was crushed and exposed. I started crying in my office on the salesfloor in front of all the salesmen. Damnit. My acting skills and my life were off fleek. Caught with my guard down. I had successfully created a faux personal life away from work that was so believable that I nearly believed it myself after years of faking it through my divorce. I’m a helluva actress but, Matthew broke my charade. 

I looked up and explained. “I’m not married. I’m divorced. I pretend to be married because I’m here to sell cars not find a date. It’s easier to pretend to be married.” This was how I met my husband. Shocking but true. I retired from Cadillac a year later. I didn’t need Cadillac anymore and started my own business instead. 

My new husband wanted me off the sales floor 50-60 hours a week and enjoying life with him, my son, my twin sister and new twin grandnieces. 

A few folks in the DFW area may remember my twin ad for Escalade “Got a big family? Get an Escalade.” Yes, even my family members were in my print ads. THAT ad sold the heck out of Escalades for me. Two sets of twins is a big family. My son and his equipment for sports was also used in another ad showing how much room for friends, kids and equipment the SRX had while being a crossover vehicle. 

My entire family became “models” during my years at Cadillac but, the twin ads and ads featuring me were my best car selling advertising. 

No one had ever been as creative at marketing as I was. But, poverty can define you or empower you. It empowered me. I was a survivor. I walked away from two marriages in twenty years with no money. I walked away with no vehicle both times. I would never do it again. All of my vehicles are paid for in cash and in my name. Although I can trust my current husband, I’ve learned to be independent and will never be dependent on anyone again as long as I live. My husband knows where I’ve been and understands that I refuse to be controlled. In fact, my agreement to marry years ago included a few rules. What were they? 1. I would own my own vehicle outright. 2. I would keep my own checking account and credit cards. 3. I would leave if infidelity ever occurred. 4. I would leave if violence ever entered our marriage. I wasn’t going back to where I had been and was very clear about the terms of committing myself to another husband. 

I don’t think like other people because I’ve also been a buyer. What would sell me? What would create brand loyalty? I’ve been a brand spokesperson for twenty years. I’ve pitched furs, jewelry, couture clothing and even Whatsburger. Building value in the product is essential to building a brand though and it’s difficult to create a great salesperson. Exceptional salespeople are born to sell. Although I’ve been in sales my entire life, I’ve never oversold a client. I’ve always tried to save money or offer discounts whenever possible because I’ve been on the other side as a buyer myself. What makes your product valuable? What makes buyers inclined to buy from you? Honor, integrity and treating my clients like family is why and how I outsold my coworkers in ANY industry I have ever worked in. They treated clients like numbers. I treated clients like family. I’m different. I care. If you’ve ever bought from me, you realize this. Previous clients buy and book with me over and over again. They also refer their friends and family to me. I’ve never advertised after leaving Cadillac and starting my own business. I’ve never had to. 

Kelley (a venue owner) had sent me a DM regarding renting her venue. The catch? Kelley REQUIRED using her own bartender and security. This would significantly “up the cost” to my client. Why? Because I have friends that work as bar tenders as well as retired military and police officers that work as security. Negotiating the additional cost to use Kelley’s security and bartender might or might not be a deal breaker but, due to the distance from the city to her venue, she would certainly need to be open to negotiating her “in season” fee. 

A lot of people fail to realize that there is an “off season” in the Events business but there is. Half of the year leaves venues like an abandoned motel, deserted and lonely. An experienced planner uses this knowledge to her clients benefit and, I often do. August is often too hot for anyone to book a venue with an outdoor area. October and November can be “iffy” too vecause Texas weather is unpredictable. 

Kelley was attempting to pad the bill by adding requirements to rent the venue. I knew it and she knew it too. Chasing a dime to make a dollar. This up charging was why I continued to get other bids from other venues. Kelley’s venue is remote. At least thirty minutes from Fort Worth and an hour from Dallas. 

If you have a venue in the country, lower your prices. Convenience is worth the upcharge to my clients and their guests. Seriously. I know a Burleson venue owner as well as an Azle venue owner that constantly call me to send them business. If your venue business is in the boonies though, attempting to charge the same rental rates as city venues is why you aren’t booking events. 

The client I’m planning the October/November event for has a son in the military. He’s coming home from Germany in late October to early November. She wants to celebrate his birthday and since he missed the prom years ago, incorporate the theme. She also wants a bar with beer and wine. She knows a friend with a barbecue restaurant that can handle catering. We need a building. Decorations. Bartender and security. Photography. DJ. We also have a budget and I always stay within my clients budgets. I will locate a building for her and it will be a building that is within her budget. 

Today after Estes Unit, I’m going to 3 venues. I’m also using this “venue hopping” to price out an anniversary party for August 31st for 70 guests with no bar and a budget remarkably close to the prom themed event. Meaning, the Vow Renewal with far fewer guests and no alcohol will be far easier to come in under budget on. An open bar can easily add $2k and up to the overall budget. Catering can run $12-25 per person and the Vow Renewal client is by far well within the budget he’s given. It’s going to be a stretch with the Prom Themed Birthday Party with an Open Bar and up to 120 guests. A tight stretch. A make every penny count stretch. If the client can secure catering outside of the budget she’s given me, it will be far easier to pull this off but, if she can’t, Wendy and Cindy will be shopping venues first and shopping everything else second since the largest expense is the venue rental. 

Both clients need a venue first. The venue being the most expensive investment. One of these days when I have time, Cindy and I will buy our own venue to alleviate the need to find one for clients but it won’t be this year. We are overwhelmed. 

A few years ago, Kelley called me to send her clients. I thought this was funny. Why? Because Kelley has never referred our services that’s why. It’s always ironic to me that folks who never throw you a bone want you to throw them a steak. 

Luckily though, I don’t need referrals from venue owners. I’m on staff at Belltower Chapel and have been for years. I limit my affiliation with other venues. Why? Because Belltower supports ACH and foster children. I donate 70% of my fee to ACH. 

Other venues outside of Belltower are all about the money. That’s okay. It’s business. 

But- my clients ARE MY BUSINESS and therefore, building value for their buck is why I don’t pitch them a venue just because I know the owner. Instead, I shop them. 

My clients warrant value. I don’t have any “friends” owning a venue who can supersede my clients. I don’t want any friends expecting me to pad their pockets at my clients expense either. 

Last year, another venue owner called me. “We are going to go out of business. We doubled our prices and can’t get any bookings.” I sat my coffee down to rerun what I just heard. 

If common sense was spare change, a few folks couldn’t afford a coffee. “Perhaps you should lower your prices. If a product doesn’t sell, you discount it.” The venue owner wasn’t interested in solving her own problems. “Amazingly, you have never advertised and have grown year after year. Send me your clients. We will even take on LBGT couples. We need what you have.” What the? “Take on LBGT clients?” I was offended. 

My affiliation within the LBGT community was EARNED. Also, I don’t pass around my clients like peanuts at a bar. Humph. How to be politically correct in an obviously incorrect conversation? I went to my office bar and poured myself a chocolate martini. 

This was going to be a LENGTHY CONVERSATION. “Our clients are loyal to us because we are loyal to them. Inflating your costs is why you are losing clients. This should be common sense. You cannot squeeze everything WITHIN THEIR BUDGETS OUT of them. Venue rentals are a buyers market. As a seller, you need to be affordable and when building your brand, you need to be open to other events and clients outside of solely weddings. Weddings have a season. Off season though, you can promote corporate events, family reunions, birthday parties, Christmas parties and other bookings to sustain you through the off season.” 

Of course, this “intelligent and knowledgeable advice” fell on deaf ears. As a businessperson, if you are a business owner, wake up. I can’t wake you up. I can however shop your venue in my clients best interests and budget. “Don’t ask me for an apple and expect me to bake you a pie.” 

Other vendors ARE NOT MY CLIENTS OR MY PROBLEM. MY CLIENTS ARE MY PRIORITY. If you haven’t figured this out yet, I can’t help you. Loyalty is always directed at my clients not people AKA vendors who are crazily expecting me to BUILD THEIR BUSINESS. 

This morning while organizing my floral arrangements for Michael and Coffield Units Tuesday, I took a call for Salano State Prison in California. 

Our existing bookings in California are stacked meaning finding time to travel to a Unit 6 hours from LA, San Diego, Santa Barbara or even Lompoc (all cities Cindy and I will be at during our trip to meet clients, film commitments and family) is tricky. I ran the distance several times from several cities. 

This Unit is at least five hours from any city that Cindy and I will be at in August. Normally, this could be factored in to an off day during our travels but we have two destination event bookings as well as a family reunion and meeting our sister at Magic Mountain on one day as well as filming a sizzle reel on another in LA. I.E. this is another jam packed trip for the Texas Twins. If I can get to the Unit and find time though, I will. 

Leigh Ann is taking over California Prison Weddings however, she will be based in San Diego August and September while her husband, Alex is in training at the Naval Base before moving to base housing at Point Mugu. 

California like Texas is a big state. Because of this, my stepsister, Tammy is also going to be handling Prison Weddings. 

Due to Cindy and my schedule while in California on this trip, trying to judge distance from cities on our itinerary to the location of the prison may or may not work out for me to personally officiate your Prison Wedding. However, if I can’t, Leigh Ann or Tammy can. I’m moving my bookings to predominantly Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana and Missouri as the majority of my bookings are in Texas. 

Because of the burgeoning schedules of Cindy and I, my son and his wife are also coming on board to address Oklahoma and Arkansas bookings as well as county jail requests in Texas. 

I’m going to go over stacking because it’s essential if you are stacked at a Unit that you are on time. Tuesday, I have two clients at Michael and two at Coffield. These two Units are within 7-9 minutes of one another. Because of this, I frequently move from Michael to Coffield or Coffield to Michael. 

However, if you are running late on wedding day, other clients at the same Unit or the Unit I’m moving to are going to be inconvenienced due to your tardiness. Please be considerate of other clients and arrive at least 15 minutes prior to your scheduled wedding time.

UPDATE ON MICHAEL UNIT CLOTHING- Dresses are now allowed but you cannot wear solid white. Why? Inmates wear white. Please incorporate color or patterns to white. Please keep hemlines not shorter than 2 inches above the knee. Please wear a cami of your dress reveals any cleavage. Please wear a slip if your clothing is sheer.

I’m off to shop venues, meet clients and looking forward to meeting all of our new clients soon at your Prison Weddings and especially excited to see our former clients at your Vow Renewal Ceremonies with Cindy and our Team in the coming months.

As always, we appreciate your trust and your loyalty. We are thankful for the opportunity to meet amazing people from all walks of life and to have the ability to finally spend time together that my career in sales as well as Cindy’s career took from us both for over twenty years. Texas Twins Events gave us the opportunity to give the gift of Dream Events one family at a time while subsequently giving us time to spend with each other. 

For all of the clients that the twins or Maddy jumping into your photos laughed with us, God Bless You. Our grandkids always thought a camera was meant for them. Maddy still does. 

When I look back over the hundreds of families and good times we’ve shared with ya all over the years on location for your bridal photos with my grandnieces hugging your leg or holding your bouquet, I’m reminded what amazing people you are. The love and kindness you’ve brought to Cindy and I as well as our children and grandchildren is a gift. Creating Texas Twins Events was a partnership. Cindy and I knew affordable options didn’t exist. Cindy was also taking on the responsibility of raising her twin grand daughters. Cindy had given up her income as a salesperson to raise her grandchildren. My twin sister is selfless. She is hilarious and she’s never met a stranger. She is also my best friend. Texas Twins Events gave us the opportunity to load up our kids and grandkids and go off to meet wonderful people who wanted a Dream Event. Amazing people who welcomed not only my Team but our entire family. People who became far more than clients. People who became the fabric of our lives. We love ya all…